timwasson.com

Because I don't have anything better to do.

2000-10-19T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I ran into this site entirely by accident. My job isn't doing very well keeping me busy, so I have time to search out things I may have an interest in. I basically wanted a journal program I could type into, but posting it on the web seemed pretty cool too. I mean, I have some interesting things to say. Not many, but some.

I'm not entirely sure how in depth this thing is gonna get. I'll probably put a lot of bullshit on here that I don't care if people read. Not entirely the most honest thing I could do, huh? But, it'll work. I'll bare my soul to my friends, but not to strangers on the internet. Most people reading this are probably stalkers and freaks. Luckily I'm not attractive enough to stalk.

So... I suppose this first entry should get you posted on current event in my life, huh? Here goes.

I just got back to my hometown after 2 years of being away in Chicago. I think I could pretty easily say those were the worst years of my life, but I could just as easily say that these are the best. I have a kick ass car (a Z28 I love more than anything), am making a decent wage for a job I like (when they give me something to do) and I have the coolest friends in the world. I also have a love interest who wants nothing to do with me. I suppose I'll get into that later, eh?

I've been living with my parents, making the wage I do for quite some time now, so I've had a lot to blow on stupid junk like big screen TVs, DVD players, surround sound, and of course, huge ass speakers. It's been fun, but my financial freedom is coming to a stop sometime in the near future. I'm moving out. In about 2 weeks I'll have my own place. It should be good, provided the crackheads living across the street don't steal my junk.

That's about it for now. Expect more later. I imagine I'll type in this thing everyday from work until they give me something to do.

It sounds cool in theory....

2000-10-19T17:00:00-07:00

Having a job where they pay me to sit here all day long. I spend my time on AOLIM, downloading songs off Napster, responding to emails, planning for the weekends, and reloading webpages every 2-4 seconds to see if something has changed. Quite a life I lead, eh?

I've been reading up on other people's journals. It looks like a lot of people are doing the same shit I decided to do. Don't get too personal, be ambiguous, make harsh generalizations that they think will stir up some interest. It's all bullshit.

There's also a lot of people quoting song lyrics. Genius. That's genius.

Then there's the people who bitch. "My life sucks. I have nothing to live for." Jesus, shut the fuck up. We don't care. If you think people you've never met and who happen to type about themselves in the same forum care whether you live or die, you're even more pathetic than your posts make you out to be.

Not that I have a problem with any of this stuff. It's an open forum. You can do whatever you want, and I'll gladly ignore it.

There's more to life than this thing. There's more to life than a lot of things. I told you I'd be ambiguous, didn't I? Certain aspects of everyone's life sucks. When they dwell on them, they suck even more. Certain aspects of my life suck. Grin, bare it, drink a beer, and forget about it.

I really wish I had more to do than post in this fucking thing today.

I won't be posting on the weekend. I have a life on the weekends. Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm I have nothing. But, I'm sure some interesting things will happen this weekend, and I'll be sure to bitch... I mean... tell you all about them when I return to hell... I mean work... on Monday. Til then, peace out. I'm gonna get outta here early today.

Guess what I did today....

2000-10-22T17:00:00-07:00

... nothing. Nothing at all. An exaggeration? I wish. No, I didn't do anything, and it sucked. I'm leaving early again, just as I do everyday. But, I felt like I should stay here a little longer than usual, and needed a way to waste time until then. I decided to type in this thing. So far I've wasted 34 seconds.

That's long enough. I'm outtie.

The weekend

2000-10-22T17:00:00-07:00

The weekend was all right, I suppose. I made a bunch of plans with a bunch of different people, all with one goal in mind... to travel about 50 miles south and visit my would be girlfriend. That is, she would be my girlfriend, if she had any interest in me whatsoever. But I digress.

Well, long story short, everyone backed out on me at the last minute, leaving me to make the trek to ISU all by my lonesome. Not that I'm complaining. The girl I was visiting didn't want to drink, but she DID want to hang out with 3 other annoying girls whom I have never met before. Not that I'm complaining. We went bowling and out to eat, during which I said 4... maybe 5 words. I think she realized I wasn't having a good time and we called it a night early. At about midnight they went home, leaving me and her alone. Finally. We just talked for hours, catching up and joking around. It was really nice. It was what I hoped the whole night would have been. We didn't talk about "us" because we've exhausted that topic for the time being I think.

I got back to good 'ole Peoria around 4 am, crashed immediately, then slept until about 2 pm the next day. Saturday we hit a few bars downtown but I wasn't drunk enough to have a good time in a crowded, stuffy, smokey bar. I spent about $22 on about 4 beers. Screw the bars. I can get a 30 pack for $20. Of course, the sluts with backless shirts are a little more expensive than beer, and those come free when you go to the bars. Maybe I will stick to the bar scene after all.

a little later. a little more tired.

2000-10-23T17:00:00-07:00

Mountain Dew is supposed to wake you up, right? It's not doing a very good job.

Schutpid schtuph

2000-10-23T17:00:00-07:00

Well as per usual I'm outtie just a tad early tonight, but I wanted to add this before I left. I've been sitting her all day, doing nothing with the exception of a phone call or 3. I just got off IM with my would-be girlfriend who shall remain nameless.

God, I don't know why she makes me feel this way. I wish I could turn it off, but at the same time turn on other feeling parts of my brain. Why can't I pick and choose?

Well anyway... this is getting suspiciously close to a bitching post which I would really, really like to avoid. I hate those damn thing. I'm going to cut myself off before I get to that point.

tired. so tired.

2000-10-23T17:00:00-07:00

I'm really tired this morning. More than usual even.

So, I actually got a response to my LiveJournal thing. I never thought I would see the day. I haven't even gotten interesting yet, so just wait until I do.

I don't have much to report today and I'm really not in the mood to ramble. Maybe later today.

No, definitely later today.

Ya ever get that feeling...

2000-10-23T17:00:00-07:00

... like you have something to say but can't find the words? Like you want to express something to someone but don't know how? Like you know all the words will come out wrong before you even say them.

I get that a lot.

I speak slowly about serious topics. I think a lot. Too much probably. I have a tendency to not trust people, but then when I decide they can be trusted, I trust them too much.

In high school I used to not sleep at night because I had a lot on my mind. Girls, problems at home, not knowing where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.

I don't get that anymore...

... but I don't know why. I probably have just as many problems now as I did then. Maybe more? No, not more.

I think a lot, but I don't feel enough. I used to. Maybe that was my problem in high school. Maybe I need to turn on that part of my brain. I'm so nihilistic about so many things. Maybe my "fuck it and forget it" attitude has worn me down. Maybe I'm "hardened" to use the words of someone who's advice I take very seriously.

Or maybe I'm just thinking about it too much.

Being a bitch really gets you places in life.

2000-10-24T17:00:00-07:00

I just learned this lesson recently. Recently being in the last year or 2. I've always been polite to people, especially when they will be providing me a service. In my customer service jobs I always reacted better to people who treated me like a person rather than someone who were threatening and stern. Well, things have changed I think.

In Chicago it took them nearly a month to hook up my phone line. During this time I was very polite when I called them, even though it was wasting my quarters at pay phones or making very large cell phone bills. Eventually I had enough and yelled when I called them. My phone line was hooked up in a matter of a day or 2.

I had a charge on my credit card I didn't make. When I was polite, it showed up on my bill month after month. When I yelled... guess what, it disappeared.

I'm trying to move out of my house. I've been trying since August 1st... that was the date they gave me when the apartment would be done. Well, we're coming up on November 1st and they're guessing November 10th. I've been extremely patient and had a good attitude about things so far. Well, last night I was thinking about it in depth. Ya know how when you think about things like that it starts getting your blood boiling? Well, that's what happened. So, I emailed my landlord a kind of nasty letter about how I've been postponed, as well as my plans and my parent's plans, etc. etc. etc. etc. and about 42 more etc.'s. So, early today I get a phone call saying I can move into a large 4 bedroom, for free, until they finish up my 3 bedroom. Then I would need to move my junk down 1 level when it's done. Well, my moaning comes through for me once again.

For any of you who want to get something done, my advice to you is to bitch bitch bitch. That is all. Carry on.

Hm.

2000-10-24T17:00:00-07:00

Is it too much to ask for my friends to take an active interest in me? I mean an interest beyond asking me questions. An interest that gets to the point of participating in my life. I do that for my friends, and most return the favor. But some don't.

I don't want them to just "return the favor" to use my own words. I want them to WANT to participate in my life, meet my other friends, know where I live, etc. Maybe I'm the only person who thinks that's important.

To me, asking questions isn't enough. I wish it was.

But oh well. I'm outtie for the day.

my exciting night.

2000-10-24T17:00:00-07:00

I avoided doing anything last night on purpose. I had fallen behind on all the DVDs I've been buying and not watching, so I took last night off. I didn't drink any beer, but instead just watched some movies. I was in bed by 9:15. I think I'm more awake today.

That, of course, means I can stay out too late tonight and drink too much beer. I like catching up on my sleep, but I also like going out. I guess I need to find the happy medium. I don't think I've found that.

Tonight is $3/pound wing night at my favorite wing restaurant. I bet I can stuff down 3 pounds if I try hard enough.

Look at my shield.

2000-10-25T17:00:00-07:00

Why do people feel the need to get so defensive? When I bring up topics I don't necessarily want a ton of feedback on them. When I feel a certain way, that's just how I feel and no amount of logic is going to change my mind.

I don't have many feelings, so when I get one, just let me have it, would ya?

This gets especially harder when they're misunderstood to the point that I'm the bad guy. I don't want to be the bad guy, ya know? Especially not for something I can't control.

Well, in other news, last night I ate home buffalo wings and drank some beer and watched some porno with some friends. It was all guys, of course, which was good because bitches woulda just cramped our style, yo.

Tonight I'm hitting the bars for dollar draft and pizza night. It should be fun, provided I meet a bitch who will cramp my style, yo.

Brace yourselves. This will be quite a post.

2000-10-26T17:00:00-07:00

Well I'll start with the easy stuff. I think I've been so tired because I've been sleeping too much. So, I put my theory to practice last night and went to sleep about 11:30, and woke up less tired than I've been for months. This is despite having one of the worst sleeps I can remember. I woke up about every 20 minutes and had the hardest time getting back to sleep. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Last night was spent looking at the progress on my apartment, then drinking beer and eating pizza at one of my friend's places. Fun stuff.

Now to the harder, more rambling stuff. Here goes.

I have basically 2 social lives. I have one with my "circle", which is pretty big. They're all awesome friends. When I'm bored, I have the choice of about 10 people to call and go over to their place, or them come over to mine, etc. Then of course I have acquaintances, people I know by association, that I hang out with and feel comfortable with. All of these people contribute in my life. They all know what my parents do for a living, where I live, where I grew up, where I went to school and what my major was... all the important parts to my life, they know. And vise versa. It's important for me to know these things and I enjoy learning about them.

My other social life is with my obsession, who we'll call Jill to protect the innocent. I try my best to participate in her life. I ask her question after question about her, her family, friends, school... I visit her at school, I call her, I do everything for her I do for my other friends. I get nothing in return. She probably couldn't tell you where I went to school (some art school in Chicago, she'd say) or what my major was there (something about art?). She thought my dad was a lumberjack (he's a social worker). She has no idea where I live or where I work. These aren't traits I want in a girlfriend, so luckily (luckily?) she's not a girlfriend.

But as a friend, beyond my last paragraph of complaints, I don't really have anything else to complain about. She's there when I need her to be there. She listens to me bitch about things and offers me advice when I need it. She tells me things I don't want to hear, but need to. I just want her to be a part of my life, my OTHER life, my circle of friends. She's never met another one of my friends. Ever. I want her to, and I want to show her where I grew up, and I want her to know the things about me that I know about her.

Is that too much to ask?

Well, these feelings all came a-crashin' down the other night. I asked her to yet another party with my friends, and again, she refused without another thought even though she knows it's important that she meet my friends. So, I ask her to this party and her response is "no, but thanks for the invite". Well, I wasn't happy about it, but I also don't have a reason to get angry. I didn't want to tell her all these feelings, because I don't want to guilt her into doing these things for me. I want her to want to do them, for herself, not for me. So, I simply avoided it. I decided to leave rather than try to be happy about her decision.

She sensed that something was wrong and I explained to her that it was nothing. When she insisted I told her I would email her later with everything she needed to know. I told her what I just told you guys and now she's pissed at me.

Is that my fault? She's telling me my feelings are wrong, but is that possible? Logically I can't be mad at her for not wanting to spend time with my friends. So I'm not, but that doesn't mean I don't feel the way I feel. Am I wrong here?

But at the same time it's not about right and wrong, as she seems to think it is. It's not about whose a better friend, as she thinks it is. It's about me and my feelings about things. That's it. For her to get upset and cancel our plans this weekend because of it is silly. Actually it's more than silly, it's stupid.

Fuckin' girls.

Seriously though... a lot of questions I ask in this journal are rhetoric but I'd love some feedback on this bad boy. Especially you girlies out there.

That's about it for me.

Guess what....

2000-10-26T17:00:00-07:00

As per usual, I'm outtie just a tad early today. And....
As per usual, I won't be posting or replying or any of that stuff over the weekend, because...
As per usual, I will be drinking beer and partying all weekend, and it will be good.

I won't see "Jill" this weekend. I told her my concern about her not spending time with me or getting to know me and my friends, and she sees a simple solution... to blow me off this weekend.

Fuckin' girls.

But I digress. This is Halloween weekend and shall be spent in drunken splendor with my REAL friends, not a phoney-bologna infatuation that just simply has lasted too long. I have a feeling that the infatuation, and even casual contact, with her are both gone.

For good.

This time I mean it.

Seriously.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Horoscope

2000-10-29T17:00:00-07:00

I've been reading about my name analysis, sign information, and horoscope lately. I don't know why... boredom maybe? I see a lot that applies to me. I don't know if this is because they're true, or because I'm trying very hard to make them applicable to me. I guess it doesn't matter in the long run, eh? Well, here's today's horoscope:

"For October 30: Your ability to communicate
has never been more important. You're able
to emotionally connect with others. You
seduce even diehard nonbelievers and win
additional support. Superglue yourself to
people and circumstances that can potentially
expedite your dreams. Make your most
eloquent arguments today -- and speak from
your heart for the greatest impact. Lots of
discussions, commuting, and schedule
juggling are likely. FYI: You are deeply in
touch with your emotions and sensuality this
evening."

This seems pretty accurate for the goings-on as of late, right? Or am I reading too much into it? I do that a lot.

The schedule juggling is completely wrong, but I can forgive them for that I suppose.

old, new, good, bad, right, wrong?

2000-10-29T17:00:00-07:00

Here's something I noticed this weekend that I don't really understand.

I'm the type of guy with a lot of friends. My circle is pretty big and expands a lot. Because of this, I can tolerate very little shit from people. If someone shits on me, I cut them off and stop talking to them. It's easy for me because I have a lot of people to fall back on. I don't need to be friends with people who shit on me. It's part of my weeding out process... out with the bad, in with the good. All the friends I consistently hang out with have never shit on me, and I have never shit on them. I see people who are friends with people who constantly disappoint them. That's pretty sad.

But this weekend I decided to "weed out" a friend I used to consider a very good friend. For those who are wondering, yeah, it was "Jill" or "Julie" or whatever I decided to call her but can't remember now. My obsession for the past few years. She shit on me a lot, and I grinned and bared it a lot.

I weeded her out, and almost instantly I got re-introduced to a lot of my old friends. These weren't friends who shit on me, just friends that I got separated from during my stay in Chicago, and since I've been back our schedules have been too different to meet up. I hung out with 3 people I haven't hung out with in 3 years this weekend, and it was great. I had a much better time with them than with "Julie/Jill". This only reinforces my stance.

But I just wonder how this happens... Like.. do I give off a vibe when I'm not really happy, and that discourages people from hanging out with me? I know that cutting Jill/Julie out of my life should have upset me, but all my friends said I seemed happier this weekend. Even I noticed I was less preoccupied and walked with an extra spring in my step. Does this vibe encourage more people to meet me? Cutting out the shit really helps man. I recommend it to everyone.

In other, more concrete news, the weekend was good. Friday night my best friend was throwing a party, so I showed up fashionably late... about 11:15. The keg was already cashed, so a couple of guys brought in 2 cases. They were gone in literally 30 seconds, so they gave me some money and I picked up 3 30 packs. They lasted about 10 minutes. I had to grab like 15 for my friends and our private stash. That was all I drank all night. It was still a really good party though.

I had to wake up early on Saturday, then my brother in law came over for his birthday thing at my house. We ate dinner and they left about 9. I made 1 phone call to try and make plans. I got her answering machine, so I just decided to go to sleep. I was tired.

Sunday I saw Blair Witch 2 with those aforementioned friends. It was a good time. The movie was all right, but not nearly as good as the first one.

That's about all I have to say. Don't worry, I'm sure later in the day I'll ramble some more.

88 lines about 44 women

2000-10-30T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I was just informed by 2 people that some animation jobs I had lined up will be at least delayed, if not cancelled.

Sweet Jesus, give me something to do.

So... big plans for tonight... A friend is having some people over to drink beer. I will be one of them, and I will drink beer. The plan is to drive out to Bartonville, which is a small town right outside Peoria. They have an old sanitarium there, so we're going to sneak in and wander about. Tonight is the perfect night for it, I think. The only bad thing is that I'll have to spend the majority of the night with this guy I hate. Ah well. I'm over it I guess.

That's it for now. I'm outtie early. It's a special night. Happy Halloween everyone.

You know the

2000-10-30T17:00:00-07:00

You know the best feeling in the world? Waking up, looking at the clock, and realizing you can sleep for another hour. I had that this morning, and that last hour of sleep is always the best.

You know what I like best about that hour? First, you fall asleep very quickly because you know you have to, and you always have the weirdest dreams, and you always remember every second.

What I noticed this morning was that dream-time is completely different from real-time. I had to keep waking myself up, because I don't use an alarm and I thought it was time to go. A 10 minute dream seemed to go on forever.

Yesterday I called my landlord to reaffirm that I WILL be moving in on November 10th at the absolute latest. She had the nerve to be pushy about my deposit. "I've told you 2 or 3 times that I need your deposit" she said. "I've been waiting for 4 months to move into my apartment. You'll get the deposit when it's done" is what I replied. I caved though, and will be giving her the deposit today. Damn.

I talked to "Jill" on IM yesterday. She got mad at me again for not replying to my email. Can I do anything right with her? Seriously, I'm not as big a fuck up as she makes me out to be. At least I hope I'm not. That would be pretty sad.

8:11. already bored.

2000-10-31T17:00:00-07:00

I check a few forums here from work since I don't have anything else to do. I checked them already, so I've done what I needed to do.

The rest of my day will be spent updating my resume for a new job. Is it bad to do this while working at another company? Oh well.

Last night I drank beer and smoked cigars with some good friends of mine. It was a good time, but no one wanted to go to the sanitarium. So, me and another guy went, but got lost in this backwoods racist hicktown, then finally pulled over to a gas station and had to ask how to get to Peoria. It was pretty embarrassing, being like 10 miles away and living in Peoria, not knowing how to get there. Our excuse is that we try to avoid going to that town, and therefore don't know our way around. The real excuse is that we were probably too drunk to navigate through the town well.

Well that's about it for me. For now.

Survey.

2000-10-31T17:00:00-07:00

SECTION 1: BASIC INFO

Full Name: Timothy Joseph Wasson
Nicknames: Tim, dude, Wass
Nationality: Mostly Swedish
Siblings: 1 sister, 24.
Girlfriend or Boyfriend: I wish.
Birthdate: October 3rd.
Screen Name(s): Wass, TheWass, wasson
Where You Live: Peoria
Birthplace: Peoria
What you look like: 6'1", blue eyes, dark hair, glasses, 190 lbs.

Section 2: More Info

Beeper Code: none
Favorite Salad Dressing: Ranch
Have You Ever Gone Skinny Dipping: Yes.
Movies You Love: American Beauty, Army of Darkness, Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, Hudsucker Proxy, The Big Lebowski, Mallrats, Clerks, Dogma, anything by the Coen Brothers and Sam Raimi, Heathers, all your typical "cult Classics" I love..
Favorite Book: I don't read.
Favorite Type Of Music: I like them all.
Favorite Car: 1991 350 Z28.
Type Of Car You Have Now: 1991 350 Z28
Favorite Saying: "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Favorite Fast Food: Subway
Favorite Ice Cream: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Favorite Drink: Mr. Pibb
Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Beer
Favorite Holiday: Halloween
Favorite Food: buffalo wings, Pizza
Favorite Song(s): Pearl Jam "Given to Fly" .
Favorite Television Show(s): M*A*S*H, News Radio, Frasier, Grace Under Fire
Favorite Radio Station: The recently killed 102.3 Xtreme radio.
Favorite Junk Food: buffalo wings
Favorite color: blue
Favorite Sneakers: vans
Favorite Sound: Pearl Jam
Favorite Smell: buffalo wings
Favorite brand of gum: Don't really have one.
Favorite animal: Cat
Favorite place to sleep: My bed.
Favorite thing to do in the summer: stay out late, be outside, long walks, good talks
Winter: rent movies with friends, stay in, use blankets instead of heaters

Section 3: THE FUTURE

School: done and done.
Where You Want To Live: Eventually I'd like to make it to New York or LA
How Many Kids You Want: not many
What Kind Of Job You Want: animator in the entertainment industry
You Want To Get Married: I'd like to.

QUESTIONS 3: HAVE YOU EVER:

Been In Jail: No
Done Drugs: once or twice. Being high isn't nearly as fun as being drunk.
Ran Away From Home: I tried one time
Hit a Girl: nope.
Hit a guy: yeah
Stolen Anything: yeah
Broken A Bone: no
Cheated On A Test: yes
Been Going With Two girls/guys At Once: I'm lucky to be going with one girl at once.
Been In The Hospital: only to visit other people.
Been attacked by a big dog: Yeah, it sucked.

QUESTIONS 4: WHICH IS BETTER:

Coke Or Pepsi: Coke
Cats Or Dogs: Cats
One Pillow Or Two: 1
Deaf or blind: My livelihood depends on both
Pools Or Hot Tubs: hot tub
Television Or Radio: TV
CDs Or Tapes: CDs.
Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos?: Cool Ranch
Mud wrestling or JELLO wrestling?: Jello.

QUESTIONS 5: WHAT IS:

Love: This thing that pisses my shit off. Never once has this been a good thing for me.
Your Most Prized Possession: My beautiful car.
The Thing That Makes You The Happiest: Those times with friends when you open up enough and know you're better off because of it. Getting a phone call from someone who doesn't call very often.
The Best Thing That Has Ever Happened To You: The little things are what I appreciate the most. It's hard to boil that down to one event.
Your Favorite Slow Song: "Release" by (guess who...) Pearl Jam
The grossest thing you've ever eaten: I ate squid once.
Your biggest fantasy: Eventually having that love thing work out for me.
The best feeling in the world: When someone opens up to you for the first time.
The worst feeling in the world: admitting your mistakes.
The scariest thing that ever happened to you: I hit a fucking deer one time. Stupid fucking deer. I hate you and I hope you died.
The best number in the world: 7
The best memory of this year: seeing Pearl Jam in concert the weekend of my 21st birthday.
Something you miss the most: having someone.
Something that makes you mad: Stupid people.

QUESTIONS 8: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT:

Abortion: To quote my dawg Eddie Vedder, "my body's nobody's body but mine. You run your own body, let me run mine".
Lesbians: They're cool.
Death: Dying doesn't scare me. Getting old does..

QUESTIONS 9: WHO:

Makes You Laugh The Most: My best friend of 21 years, Fabish.
Do you hate: I'm pretty intolerant of people and use the word hate a lot in reference to them. I don't really think I hate many people though.
Knows The Most About You: Either my drunken friend Mullens or Steph.
Do you trust the most: Same answer. That's not a coincidence.
Seems to be the most down to earth: My motherly friend Angie.
Has It Easier, Guys Or Girls: Probably guys.
loudest person You Know: The stupid drunk Mullens.
Craziest Person You Know: Brice.
Weirdest Person You Know: Probably myself..
Are you thinking about right now: Myself. Damn, I have to answer all these questions. Who do you think I'm thinking about? .
Do you missthe most: Steph.

QUESTIONS 10: GENERAL QUESTIONS:

Do You Ever Save AOL Conversations: Yeah, the important ones.
Do You Save Emails: Yeah
Do You Save Pictures People Send You: pictures my friends send, yeah.
How Many People On Your Buddy List: Which program? AOL: 24, ICQ: 15
When Are You Usually Online: Just at work these days.
Do You Like Motorcycles: hellz yeah
What Are Your Favorite Stores: Best Buy, any store with expensive electronic gadgets.
Are You A Player: I wish.
When Do You Go To Sleep: by 11:30 most nights. Weekends... late. REALLY late.
When Do You Wake Up: 7 am on work days. 2 pm on weekends..
Do you sleep with a night light: nope.
What's underneath your bed: stuff.
What do you wear to bed: boxers.
Is your bed made: hellz no.
What do you think of Ouija boards: sweet. I like those Witchboard movies too.
Where do you wish you were right now: outside. Anywhere but work..
Are you righty, lefty, or ambidextrous: Righty.
What's on the walls of your room: I don't really have a room right now. I imagine it will have Pearl Jam and movie posters on it..
If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be?: The Superman symbol.
Now that it's over, do you have anything to say?: Yeah. Ever notice how sometimes these surveys are missing questions? What happened to them? Who deleted them, and why? If they don't want to answer, chances are those will be the most interesting tidbits on there. My life is mostly an open book. Ask what you like in the the comments and I'll definitely answer. That is all. Carry on.

I'm typing this to waste time.

2000-11-01T17:00:00-07:00

Today has flown by. This productivity thing is was underrated. I just need to scan a few pictures and the page is complete.

A few friends came by today to take me to lunch. I took an almost 2 hour break, got back, and hung out with my friends in the lobby for a while. The owner of the business walked by and talked to us for a while, and when he left I explained to them who we had just met. They were shocked at my indifference, and how I didn't mind showing him I wasn't working. I've been telling them for months how bored I am here. I don't even pretend to work anymore.

I did get quite a shock today though... one of my many bosses told me to bring in my portfolio and demo reel tomorrow. She said she talked to some people who saw it who were very impressed. Maybe when they see what I can do they'll start letting me do it. Or maybe they missed their shot and I'll find other work soon. I can only hope...

work work work

2000-11-01T17:00:00-07:00

I'm at work, but again, not working. Usually I've wasted my days by reading forums, but today I'm trying something different...

...I'm updating my webpage. Sure, not the most exciting way to spend a day, but being productive makes things go very quickly. Look, it's almost 11. The day has flown by so far, seriously.

Last night I ate buffalo wings ($3/lb. night), then watched part of 3 Kings with a few friends. Pretty standard. Tonight I don't think I'll be going out. I want to sit at home for a night or 2. But, I've said that before and went out anyway. But not tonight, damn it.

busy busy busy.

2000-11-02T17:00:00-07:00

http://members.nbci.com/_XMCM/wasson/index.html

If you wanna take a look at what's been keepin' be busy in the past few days, there it is. Some stuff doesn't work, but it's getting there.Tell me what you think.

Well, this weekend will be pretty uneventful I imagine. My best friend is in love with this girl who just chose to stay with her boyfriend after stringing him along for a few months. Poor heartbroken boy. I was going to get him drunk this weekend, but he has to study. There's always next weekend I suppose.

My apartment is now painted, which leaves just the shower and carpet left before it's done. Not too shabby... and only about 4 months late. Damn it.

Well, I'm outtie for the day. Peace out, and have a good weekend.

This weekend was

2000-11-05T17:00:00-07:00

This weekend was way, way too short.

Friday night we hit a frat party right down the street from a good friend of mine. It was a party for "scooters", which are potential freshmen. That's right... high schoolers. 17 and 18 year old girls who looked 14 or 15. They were drunk off their asses and getting all up on the frat guys. It was really weak. Me and my good friend just stayed by the keg and made fun of people all night. I shouldn't have been having a good time, but I really was.

Last week my best friend of 21 years got his heart broken by some chick. He was really into her, but she had a boyfriend and was confused about whether to stay with him or take a chance with Fabish. Well, after a few months, Fabish gave her the ultimatum and she chose her boyfriend. Poor guy.

Well, we figured the best way to cheer up our good buddy was to go get boobs rubbed in our face. So, we drove almost 200 miles getting him an awesome fake ID, then took him out to the best strip club in town. We treated him to beer all night long, and bought him a lap dance, paid his cover... I dropped almost $100 in one night. It was fun though... I had a really good time. It's definitely not something I can afford (or would want to do) every weekend, but every once in a while it's fun to be that irresponsible. Plus Fabish got a stripper's phone number, so I think that really cheered him up.

The whole ordeal with Fabish has made me start thinking about Jill/Julie though. I mean... Fabish didn't want to give up his chances with the girl he liked, but had to for his own sanity. What about me and Jill/Julie? I hate to give it up this easily, without a fight. But at the same time I've been strung along by another girl... in a situation very similar to Fabish's. Being friends with someone you like and knowing they don't feel the same way sucks in a very bad way. I can't do it. Is that selfish? Yeah... of course it is. Should I be that selfish?

I think the way things worked out between me and the other girl are making me very cautious of Jill/Julie and without good reason.

Oh well. Maybe I should just hook up with a stripper and not worry about it.

it has come

2000-11-06T17:00:00-07:00

it has come to my attention that XOOM sucks and displays my images here sporadically at best. Sometimes they work, most times they don't. Ah well... you'll have to go to my REAL page to see them I suppose.

As promised....

2000-11-06T17:00:00-07:00

all my pictures can be seen on the 'personal' section of my webpage, at my webpage. Or, you can just go here to get the pictures directly without any other nonsense.

Also, as promised, here's some of my own personal favorite pictures.

I'm the person whos in all of them. Enjoy.

updates and more updates.

2000-11-06T17:00:00-07:00

Man, I'm getting comments on this journal thing left and right. That's awesome. Keep 'em coming.

A fellow Wasson left a comment with me, so I'm considering talking less about my beer drinking and strip club habits. She's probably not actually related to me, but think if she was. I know it's not natural for a 21 year old to live in fear of his parents, but I do what I can to cover up my drinking to them. That's weird, isn't it?

I put my picture up because I like to know who I'm reading about, and I would think you guys would appreciate it. so there it is. Enjoy.

I also scanned a whole bunch more pics and will be putting them on my page pretty soon. I'll also post my favorites here for your viewing pleasure.

Last night I decided on couches for my new apartment. Remember my set-in-stone November 10th move in date? Yeah... I won't be moving in on the 10th. Such is life, right? But, I do have some SET-IN-STONE dates now that should be SET-IN-STONE, and I will be absolutely flaming mad if they're not. My carpet should be finished up on Tuesday, so then I'll be able to move in. I won't have a shower until the next Saturday, but they're letting me use an empty apartment in the same building for that.

So, one more week. I guess I can handle that. One more weekend. Then my financial freedom will be gone and I'll have to get a tad more responsible. Just a tad though.

I need to take one of my girlfriends to help me finalize my decision on the couch. I have it narrowed down to 2. The ones I want are vinyl... is that just really too cheesy? I figure it will be good for beer spills, and it looks like leather, and it's black so it will match my remote control. We ate at Pizza Hut and I went home early to do some laundry and pack some junk up. I want to get all that taken care of to make the move as painless as possible when it actually happens.

I'm really in the mood to ramble about those things in the back of my mind, but I have some webpage related things to get done first. I'll be sure to do that later today though.

Last night I

2000-11-07T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I had a really bizarre dream. I don't remember much of it, except being in the back seat of my friend's car with this girl I knew from grade school who is this huge slut these days. We were just sitting back there talking, and all the sudden she jams her tongue down my throat. My other friends in the car were all surprised and disturbed, but it didn't slow us down any. We just kept going at it, until finally I started laughing. She got really pissed. Here's what the dream dictionary said about kissing....

"A dream of kissing is an omen of good and shows love, peace and contentment if the kiss is of a gentle and loving manner from someone who is loved, but if the kiss is in any wise unwelcome, or from an illicit source, then you will suffer ill to your reputation or many small vexations to the spirit."

Well... hopefully it's a good omen, no? Probably not though.

I think I've found my new obsession. Of course she has a boyfriend, which is good because that's what I need from someone who I will be obsessed with. I know her from a store she works at, but met her at a party last Friday, then at a bar last night. Weird, eh?

She was getting all up on some ugly dude. I think that was her boyfriend. That's cool though, since this is the kind of behavior I like from her. If my obsession actually wanted something to do with me, I would know not what to do.

So, in case you hadn't figured it out by now, I went to a bar last night. I stayed out way too late. My dad also bought a new car that I was supposed to drive home. Well, it overheated and he thinks I may have killed the engine. I don't think I did though. The previous owner overheated it several times, so putting this on my head will do no one good. I'm having a pretty hard time feeling bad about it.

Work has actually

2000-11-08T17:00:00-07:00

Work has actually given me stuff to do today. Amazing....

Granted, a lot of it is mindless busy work. This guy keeps coming to me to do graphic design stuff for the video department. It's monkey work, like "type this text as an overlay", which he could easily do. I guess it's not a huge deal, but it's getting me pissed off. I went to school to animate, and I got hired as an animator. I did not get hired as Mr. Typer for the video Dept. guy. Ah, but I digress.

So, I get this stuff typed up for him, then he gives me 2 images that I have to format for the TV screen. It's not hard, but the source materials sucked. They were too small and out of proportion for the TV, so I simply resized them, changed the colors, and showed them how bad they looked. I'm no miracle worker... you can't simply increase the resolution of an image at the touch of a button. So, I showed the Video guys how crappy it looked and they said they would give it to another person to work on. She did the EXACT SAME THING I did. Resize, change format, resave. According to them, hers looked a lot better. THEY WERE EXACTLY THE SAME. Damn I hate this place. The young guy gets treated like shit. Anyway....

When it rains, it pours I guess. I now have 3, count 'em, 3 projects on my plate. So, I'm working today. For real this time.

Tonight I'm going to start moving my junk into my new apartment. Mostly just kitchen stuff, but a start. I can't wait to move out. Less than a week now... 5 days in fact. 5 of the suckiest days of my life. I can make it.

busy at work.

2000-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

I typed more stuff for the video department today, then opened images he's too stupid too open. I could do this junk when I was 14. Now at 21 I'm getting frustrated that people think I can't do anything else.

I had this weird dream last night. I don't even remember most of it. All I remember is turning around very quickly, seeing something, then waking up in a cold sweat. I laid there for like 40 minutes, just staring at my clock. I wasn't very tired after that. Weird things run through your mind when you're laying there like that.

The main thing on my mind lately is the Jill/Julie thing, so you can bet that was getting a lot of my attention. Ever since I originally thought I was getting my apartment I had been planning my housewarming. A big, everyone-is-invited-and-the-beer-will-be-good-and-plentiful get together. Jill/Julie was supposed to meet my friends that night, just as she was supposed to many, many other nights. Well, I finally have this confirmed date for the party... November 18th.

I broke my vow of silence with her last night. She sent me an IM, so we chatted for a while. I told her the date for my party. She knew how important it was for me for her to be there, but told me "it's a bad night". She promised her math group she would hang out with them that night. WHAT ABOUT ME? Didn't she promise me that she'd be there? A long time ago? Who has priority? I guess now we know. Not only that, but she said she had a date, so she was already double booked. She knows exactly how to kick me square in the nuts, even from 50 miles away. God I hate this. I wish I had the nuts to tell her to fuck off, but I take her shit time and time again. I don't do that with anyone else.

Anyway.

Last night I packed some junk into my mom's minivan and moved it into my apartment. It was almost all kitchen stuff, since that's the only finished room so far. Then I went to a Chinese restaurant with Fabish and his roommate. Then I went home, watched half of MI-2, and fell asleep on my couch circa 9:30. I'm an exciting guy, I tell ya.

important events I forgot to include....

2000-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

These happened on like Tuesday night, but for some unknown reason I didn't include them here. Oh well. Here goes.

Tuesday was meant to be a night when I sat at home and did laundry and other things that need to be done. Well, I don't have any self control sometimes, and I got an invite to go out, and I did. My dad constantly buys cars that have something wrong with them for cheap, fixes them, then sells them for more money. He's weird like that. Well, he just bought a new car and needed me to go pick it up for him. So a group of friends picked me up, we went out to eat, then we went to get the car. We were just going to take the car to a friends, go to a bar for a while, then go home.

On the way to the friends, the car starts overheating. We pulled over into Hardee's, got some big cups of water, cooled it off, then were on our way. We called my dad and he seemed unworried. So, we go back to the plan as scheduled. We hit the bars for a while. I'll get back to the car thing, but here's another important detail of the night. From here on out, my story will be incredibly disjointed and random. Deal with it.

As you know, my recent obsession with Jill/Julie has been forced to come to a halt. Since I need to be obsessed with a girl to survive, I was on the lookout. I buy DVDs every Tuesday from Best Buy, and always from the same cashier. Really nice girl. At a crappy frat party a week or 2 ago, I see her there. I walk up like "you're the girl from Best Buy". Remarkably, she remembered me. We talked for a little and that was that. I started thinking about asking her to my housewarming, and maybe, just maybe, she could be my new obsession. Well, she was at this party with a guy. Big buy, and according to his frat brothers, 26 years old. That's pretty old.

Well, this night at the bar I was sitting there eating pizza, and up she walks and says "Hi, Tim". Wow...

So we talked for a while and I was getting ready to invite her to my party. Then up walks the big 26 year old, puts his arm around her, and they walk away. Hm.... So I was admiring her from a distance, and she started getting all up on this other guy. Then another. The 3rd guy she kissed on the lips, but with the exception of the arm around her thing, the 26 year old seemed out of the picture.

Well, since it's pretty much a requirement that my obsession want nothing to do with me, she seemed to fit into that category perfectly. I mean, if she's a slut, she's not going to want me, who would settle for nothing less than monogamy. If one of those many guys was her boyfriend, then she definitely won't. So, I may just have to be obsessed with her.

But we met this other girl at the bar, who we had met before. Friend of a friend thing. She's cool too. If Ms. Best Buy kills the obsession early, I may just have to obsess over her.

So, it's a little after midnight, we leave the bar. We take all sorts of water with us to cool the overheating car. A friend followed in his car to help me out when I needed it. We stopped every few miles, filled the coolant, then kept going. We made it home with little difficulty, but pulling over, filling it, then waiting for it to cool down made a short trip seem very long. We get back to my place a little before 12:30, and I go in to tell my dad about the serious overheating problem. While my friend was there he was cool about it, just cooling it down with our help. my friend left, then my dad started throwing hissy fits at me, telling me I ruined the car. Sorry dad, I'll never do you another favor then.

I didn't get to bed until 1:30 or so. Maybe I was so tired on Wednesday that I just forgot to type it, but there it is. Better late than never, right?

I really am going to invite Ms. Best Buy to my party though. I really am. I swear. And a stripper. I'm inviting a stripper too.

Tuesday is the

2000-11-12T17:00:00-07:00

Tuesday is the big day. I finish moving out, and financial responsibility begins. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's take it from Friday evening when I left you.

I went home and did some packing on Friday, figuring I would pack until someone called me to do something, then go out. I knew not a lot was going on this weekend, and it would probably be spent watching rented movies with a friend or 2. So, I got a phone call from a friend and we decided to go eat dinner somewhere and watch a movie or something. He works 3rd shift though, so at about 9 he had to call it a night. I went over to another friend's house and watched a movie with her roommates as she spent the night on the phone and in her room.

On Saturday I got up a bit early and packed some stuff. I took my huge TV to my new apartment, along with many other valuables. I unpacked what I could, which wasn't a lot. I only have one finished room, so I had to shove everything I own into that room or into my storage area. Hopefully when I get the carpet it will just be a matter of moving it 10 feet and calling it done.

Saturday night, we went to Damen's, which is a kick ass new restaurant/sports bar. They give you little hand held computers to play this quiz with other people eating, and you can also chat with them. So, me and him were chatting away with the people in the bar. It was really bizarre, since they knew who we were, and we had no idea who any of them were. They would make references to what we were eating and wearing, and we kept looking around to see who was saying these things to us. At one point a girl "VIXEN" asked me if I was hot. I said "I don't know... what do you think?" to which she replied "If you're wearing glasses and a black shirt you're hot. turn around and look for me". I didn't turn around, but I was pretty frightened.

After that we hung out at his place for a bit and headed to the bars. They sucked. There were a bunch of 26-30 year olds, and I felt a tad out of place. We had one beer and called it a night. I was home and asleep by midnight.

Sunday I moved even more junk. I missed Simpsons. Then I went to sleep. Then I woke up and here I am. The end. That was my weekend.

Next weekend will hopefully be a tad more eventful. In fact, I know it will be. We have all sorts of things planned for this week. Tuesday will be my first night in my new apartment, so some friends are staying the night with me. Wednesday is $3/lb. night at the best wings restaurant in the world, so we're having it delivered and watching movies. Friday is a chill night, with good friends only. We'll go out to eat and just chill in my apartment. Hopefully there will only be like 5 or 6 people there, tops. Saturday is my huge blowout party, with free beer and all sorts of people. It should be a lot of fun.

That's about it for me. I'll probably type more later.

uh oh.

2000-11-12T17:00:00-07:00

Have you noticed something peculiar in my journal lately? Well, you need to pay more attention.

I have never been a "deep" guy. I wish I was more in touch with my emotions, but I don't think I have those anymore. Well, this here journal you're reading used to (I say used to like I've maintained this thing for years. It's been what.. like 3 weeks?) be where I did that. I spouted the things in the back of my mind. Lately though it's been boring updates on my equally boring life.

I think it's because like 3 friends have told me they've been reading it. Yeah, I got into this thing thinking it would be cool to have people read it. And I've never been shy about letting things out when I feel them. But, when I do use my friend's names, they're usually fake (her name isn't Jill/Julie, by the way). I don't know why. If she were ever to read this, she would know I was talking about her.

But I don't want her knowing.

That's the problem. I'll try to go back to the 'ole style journal that used to get comments. I love the comments I get and I know it's hard to respond to "I drank beer last night". Putting my picture here only made things worse. In theory there could be more than one Tim Wasson in Peoria, but my picture takes away every bit of anonymity.

Still, I think I'll be rather cautious of using my friend's real names. I won't bitch about them here, because I've got nothing to bitch about. When I do bitch about them, you can be sure I'll say it to their face, too.

this entry will be a short one....

2000-11-13T17:00:00-07:00

My job has actually given me work to do today. Will wonders never cease? I still haven't heard back from the company that's supposed to give me a new job, and I emailed my career services department at my old school to see what the dilly was. Here's what I got back from them:

Hi Tim,

I talked to them last week (Thurs. or Fri.), and he was interested in
contacting you, in fact he said he was going to. They probably just have
not had a chance yet. If you do not hear from him by Friday of this
week, I would go ahead and give him a call. Keep me posted!

What's the hold up, man? I just want a more interesting job than this one, is that too much to ask?

My carpet was mostly put down last night. It was supposed to be grey, but due to a mix up, it's brown. No big deal, it still looks good. The fucking carpet guys put a roll of carpet right on top of my speakers. Polk Audio speakers. I paid more than a grand for those damn things, and now they're all dusty and stuff. I'll know tonight if they still work. Otherwise they'll be buying me new speakers. They should anyway... ever tried to get dust out of speaker covers? It's not easy.

But I digress.

Me and a few friends watched Dawn of the Dead last night. They bitched the entire time the movie was playing. That movie is a classic. I told them they could leave, as I was trying to enjoy the movie, but they opted to stick around. Why can't they recognize great cinema? I mean, George Romero... The Living Dead trilogy... c'mon, does it get any better? Well, yeah, Sam Raimi and the Evil Dead trilogy, but other than that there are no better zombie movies.

Tonight a friend is cooking me dinner, then we'll watch another movie probably. I won't have cable for another week and a half, so I'll make due with my DVDs and the 3 public stations we get here.

I'm skipping work

2000-11-14T17:00:00-07:00

I'm skipping work to go "hang out" at another potential place of employment. Is that really wrong? Maybe, but I don't care.

I did some work today. No matter that it wasn't important or necessary... it helped pass the time. Hopefully "hanging out" won't take long tonight, and I can get some hot wings, drink some beer, and sleep in my apartment. Yee haw.

moving. still.

2000-11-14T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I was setting everything up in my apartment yesterday. Just the little annoyances... plugging the phone in, setting up my speakers, that sort of thing. I'm still not getting a dial tone from all my outlets, but we're working on getting all the kinks out of the apartment.

One of the first phone calls I got was from Digital Imaging Studios, which is an animation company right outside Peoria. I was talking to the vice president, and he just wanted to "chat". Tonight we're "hanging out", and he's looking at my demo reel and portfolio, but this is not an interview. He really wanted to stress that. This is not an interview. We got my couches in, and everything in my apartment looks great now. It's almost done. I didn't sleep there as planned though. Maybe tonight. Everything's coming up Milhouse.

So, I left my apartment last night a little bit late, around 10:40 I think. I wanted to be in bed earlier than that, since I've been tired lately. No big deal though. So, I get home and I'm laying in my bed. I start thinking "Did I lock my back door?" I came to the conclusion that I didn't. I tried to rationalize this, thinking "Well, my back door just goes into my laundry room. No one will be doing laundry that late, so no one will go in there", then I tried "It's almost 11:30... the landlord will get there at 8 am, so it won't be unlocked for long." Well, long story short, I couldn't get to sleep and had to drive all the way back to my apartment and check on the door. It was, indeed, locked.

They're cleaning the whole apartment on Friday, which is good for me, I guess. I'll probably end up doing most of that on Thursday anyway, just for the hell of it. Tonight was supposed to be Garner's at my place, but plans may be changed, depending on how long I "hang out" with the guy from DI Studios.

last night's events

2000-11-15T17:00:00-07:00

I know, I broke tradition and skipped what I did last night. I know you're all dying to know, so here goes.

I "hung out" with the guy from DIS. He seemed very interested, but just didn't have 1. enough animators to undertake the big projects he had planned and 2. didn't have enough money to hire them all. I'm keeping in touch with him though, since there's not a lot of character animation work in Peoria, and I'm very eager to do some.

We talked for like an hour and 45 minutes. Then I picked up some stuff from my house, took it to my apartment, we watched a movie and ate some hot wings and drank some beer. It was mostly a guy's night... me, 2 other guys who go by only their last name, Fabish and Mullens, and GayJay, whose real name is Irby. He prefers GayJay, since even GayJay is a better name than Irby. Angie stopped by later, but we don't hesitate to be generally disgusting around her. I think she likes it, actually.

I spent a while writing out my expenses and comparing it to what I make. I'll be all right once I make it past the first 2 months. I just have a lot of expenses right now... activating my phone and installing my cable, not to mention my couches and things. My air hockey table will have to wait. I've never been in a position where I couldn't pay off my entire credit card bill with one check before, but those days are coming to a close.

Fabish was the guy with all those girl problems that it took strippers to cure. Well, apparently she just broke up with her boyfriend, and he left my place early to go over to her place. I can't believe it. He took a poll with who was there. The poll was what he should say to her when he got over there. Here's the results:

Fabish should tell her to:
Shut the hell up (2 votes)
Go to hell (1 vote)
Suck my fucking cock, bitch (1 vote).

I bet her caved and was just the understanding sissy boy that girl turns him into. I used to be that boy. Poor guy.

One of these

2000-11-15T17:00:00-07:00

One of these days I'll get to sleep before midnight. I swear I will.

I've been really tired, as usual, but I really think an extra 2 hours of sleep will do me good. I didn't get them last night, as planned. I also didn't sleep in my apartment. Tonight I will though. I just have to go home, do some laundry, then finish setting up my apartment. It shouldn't take too long.

This party I'm having on Saturday is getting way too big for my own good. Jill/Julie will, in fact, be there. I'm not sure that's really such a hot idea, but that's how things have worked out. I'm glad that I'm taking some priority though. I hope she doesn't mention why her other plans fell through, because that would just make me feel worse when I feel so good that she's making time for me.

Well, again, I'm actually working today, so I'm outtie to get schtuff done.

Finally the end

2000-11-16T17:00:00-07:00

Finally, the end of Friday. This week seems to have gone by a lot quicker than most. It's probably because I've been so busy... not with work, but just in general.

This weekend is going to be a blast. Anyone in the Peoria area who wants to stop by my place on Saturday for free beer, you're more than welcome. Or even people NOT in the Peoria area who will travel hundred of miles for free beer, you're welcome as well.

As per usual, I'm leaving early. Have a good weekend everyone, I'll drink a beer for all of you. I expect the same in return.

I have so little self control.

2000-11-16T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday I was going to stay home, unpack, set up, etc. I went back to my parent's place to pick up some essentials, then to my apartment. I unpacked, mounted my speaker wires to the wall, things like that. A friend called and said they were going to hit the bars for a while. I told him I wanted to set up, then just go to sleep early.

At first it worked. Then I got bored.

He called again at about 10:30, which was later than when I had planned on being in bed. He made a strong case, and I folded. I went out to the bars.

Here's another helpful hint from Tim. When you don't want to spend any money, pretend you don't have any. Now, I really didn't have any, but I had no idea how forgiving people would be to my situation. I walk in to get my wristband, he checks my ID and asks me for $1, for the cover. I just said "Ya know what, I don't even have a dollar... my friends are here, I'll go get..." but he cut me off, gave me my wristband and said "Fuck it dude."

Then people bought me beer all night. I also talked to the soccer players, which are like gods at Bradley. Didn't seem too cool to me though.

Tonight I'm going to Damen's with some friends, then back to my place to finish setting up. I will finish setting up tonight. I swear I will. I'm also going to sleep early, since my shower is getting installed at 7am tomorrow and I have to be awake to answer the door. Saturday is supposed to be my day off, and I have to get up early.

Okay the events

2000-11-19T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, the events of the weekend, from the top.

Friday I had to move even more junk into my place. Now, keep in mind that on Friday I was tired as hell from being out way too late on Thursday. Still though, I went, by myself, back to my parent's house and loaded a bunk bed/futon thing into my dad's truck. I took it to my apartment and called a friend who helped me unload. He left and I started unpacking things and putting them where they needed to be. The plan was for me and 3 friends to got to Damon's again, but plans kept being interrupted and pushed back. Finally we made it to Damon's, but it was like 7:30 and one of my friends works 3rd shift, so we had to have a kind of rushed dinner. We get back to my place, Angie makes Jello shots, I put my bed/futon thing together, Mullens falls asleep on my couch. I was asleep by 10:30, because I had to wake up at 7 the next day to let they guys in who are supposed to be putting in my shower.

So, the next day I wake up bright and early. The guys were a little late, but I let them in and went back to bed for a few hours. I drove my dad's truck back to my parent's place and showered there as the guys finished my shower. Then it was back into town to run many, many errands that go along with throwing a party. We had to buy alcohol, chips, ice, etc. etc. I have a lot of friends who don't drink, so they were going to come early before it got wild. They left as we finished setting up... moving furniture out of the way and locking up valuables.

As all parties do, this one started out kind of slow. Some people showed up at 8 or so, which was unexpected. Around 8:45, no one else had showed, and that kind of scared them. I informed them that it was rare that parties start before 9 or 9:30 and they seemed shocked. I found out later this was because they were all high schoolers. Yikes.

Slowly people started coming. But, when it rains it pours, right? Soon there were about 75 people there, in every room of my apartment at once. Pushing my way to the keg got harder and harder, that is of course until the keg got cashed. We got another one late in the night, and that one is close to empty too.

Some interesting events, though...

Jill/Julie showed up, which made me really happy. I kind of hung out with her because she didn't know anyone else there, and I knew she didn't want to be there anyway. I wanted it to be mostly painless for her. I think it was, and I hope she had a good time. I know at one point she confronted one of my friends and asked him what I thought of her. Since I was not there, this conversation is not anywhere close to verbatim, but it's what I gathered from talking to him.

Jill: So what does Tim think of me?
Mullens: I'm not sure, but he was pretty pissed at you pretty recently.
Jill: Did he say that?
Mullens: He never came out and said anything, but I think he was pretty mad.
Jill: Why?
Mullens: Well, mostly because you just don't really care about anything he does or says.
Jill: Oh....

So, that was that I guess. Jill/Julie hasn't mentioned anything about this conversation to me, but I'm looking forward to it in a weird, masochistic sort of way.

A lot of people showed up that I didn't expect to. I'm sort of half obsessed with one of Angie's roommates, and she came up and talked for me for a good 15 minutes. That had never happened between us before, so it was awesome. Infatuated... I think that's a better phrase than half obsessed. I'm infatuated with her.

So, back to the high schoolers. As was expected, they got really drunk really fast and we hanging all over everyone. There was one girl named Christina... cute girl, and a hugger, which I like. Well, she got really wasted. She was falling asleep on one of my couches and I looked over right as she puked all over the couch and herself. She started bawling and screaming and going nuts. We got her changed into one of my t-shirts, and cleaned up the mess she had made. People who are better at comforting than I am comforted her and assured her we still liked her.

In my apartment there's a place I call my 'courtyard', which is outside, and goes right up the middle of the building. There's windows all around the place, and while in the courtyard some people poked their heads out to see what was going on. We told them there was a party, free beer, and they should come down. They did, and were really cool. Unfortunately they brought along some guys who weren't cool. Not at all. There were a lot of people there, and I couldn't remember all their names. So, I started calling people things by their attributes. Like "baldy" was the guy with the shaved head, "goatee" was the guy with the goatee, etc. Well, one guy didn't like that and got all up in my face about it. I seriously thought he was kidding around, so I started coming back with these lame ass comments, like "Dude, I know a guy who can kick your ass" and "fuck you, I'm a biter"... things like that. He said something about a gang of thugs from Kewanee (another town in Illinois) kicking my ass. I laughed, because that's funny. I turned around to see a huge crowd of people forming to watch this. Long story short, he was completely and totally serious about everything that was said, and he really wanted to kick my ass. It took 2 girls to make the peace between us.

The 2 girls were the 2 girls that live in my building, and the ones we shouted to in my courtyard. On 2 separate occasions they both took me into a secluded room and talked to me. One mentioned how serious they were, and how they just intruded on her and she didn't want them around. I just listened and nodded. It's true, I give people shit because I think it's funny. It's gotten me into some trouble before, but never as serious as this. I told her that, and I told her it was my fault and that I shouldn't have let it get that far. But honestly, and I'm serious her, I thought it was all a joke.

The second girl told me I was a "funny shit" and a "sheister", who will say what it takes to get myself out of trouble. I talk more shit than I can handle, and then try to talk my way out of it. Very true, I said. Especially the funny shit part. We made amends, and both of them told me they liked me and were sorry for bringing those guys. Both of them mentioned how many cool friends I had, and how I must be a likeable guy. They said they liked me, but it would take a while for some people to get used to me. I'm pretty used to that, too.

One of my friends was being a dick to his girlfriend. I don't want to or need to get into the specifics. She got really upset and I tried to calm her down. This was very late in the evening so most everyone had cleared out. We walked around the block and I hugged her a lot. Finally I had to go back inside and yell at her boyfriend and make sure he was on the other side of the apartment so she could walk through and gather her belongings. He puked in my courtyard, then a friend of his took him home.

Well, around 4:00 am, everyone had left or passed out in various places around the apartment. I walked around, handing out blankets to everyone who needed them, then went to sleep myself. I woke up to pee at about 9:30 and most of the people who had passed out had left by this point. I was wide awake, neither drunk or hungover. Amazing to say the least. Me and the 2 remaining partiers watched a movie, then I left to get cleaning supplies, and most of the rest of the day was spent cleaning.

I was trying to get to sleep last night at about 9:15. I had gotten about 4 hours the night earlier, so I was tired. I fell asleep almost immediately, which is rare for me. Around 9:30 a party started right above my room playing shitty dance music. I couldn't stand it for long, so I left and went to sleep in a loveseat on the other end of the apartment. I slept there until 3 am. Then it was back to my real bed. My back hurts like a motherfucker today.

And that was my weekend. I hope you've enjoyed it.

various ramblings.

2000-11-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, yesterday shortly after my post I got an email from Jill/Julie about the incident at my party. She didn't say anything close to what I had heard, so I don't know what to believe. I don't think either of them is lying, because I just have faith in them. My guess is that the REAL conversation was a hybrid of the 2 I have heard. If that's not the case... well, that sucks.

Last night a few friends came over and we tried to finish off that second keg. It was flat, but very cold, so bearable.
It's not done, but it's a lot closer. A kind of ex-friend of mine stopped by, but we were more than civil and I told him to stop by some other time. That boy has issues. I won't have cable until Saturday, so we've been recycling all my movies over and over. Last night it was the Lost World. I'm buying a few new DVDs tonight, so we won't have to recycle.

I was trying to sleep last night and people kept throwing stuff into my courtyard. I could hear them all laughing and stuff then one dude threw a bottle of beer out. It hit my keg and made this really loud noise, then broke. I'm guessing the bottle was full because there's nasty skanky beer there and it's making my whole courtyard and hallway stink like shit. Bloody savages. I'm trying to think of a funny, practical joke way to put a stop to that, sort of like the saran wrap on the toilet bowl, but modified for a window. Any ideas?

Bloody savages.

2000-11-21T17:00:00-07:00

I don't have much to report from last night. I stayed in, watched my new X-Men DVD and went to sleep at like 9:30. The interesting stuff happened shortly after.

I woke up at about 1:45 to the sound of crashing in my courtyard. I got up and carefully looked around the corner, through the window into my courtyard. There was a brand new broken beer bottle and some sort of toilet paper or something that was soaked and rolled up. I looked up to see if I could see the culprit, and to my surprise I saw a guy climbing the pipes down right into my courtyard. Not wanting to interrupt, I sat there and watched. He got down, looked around (it seemed as if he looked right at me) but then went about his business. He picked up my keg (with one hand) and started climbing back up. He dropped it and it made this really loud noise. He kept climbing up and his friend was like "Get the keg", to which he replied "It's cashed", and the friend replied "Then bust it!". I had enough by this point and yelled "Don't bust the keg". My window was closed, and they were too drunk to be able to figure out who said it. They looked around all paranoid-ish, and he finished his climb to the window in record time. They shut their window and that was that.

I'm really going to have to do something about that courtyard problem. My door isn't very secure at all... any retard could just climb down and walk right in.

Later in the night I heard pounding at my back door. Now, my back door goes to my building's laundry room. So, the person pounding had to be living in my building. I was getting up to see who it was, until I heard weird screaming. Now, I don't want to sound mean, but I think that's impossible here. It truly sounded like a retarded lady screaming. She kept saying things like "LET ME INTO THIS APARTMENT".

So, I need a clever way to deal with this courtyard nonsense. Any ideas? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Tradition makes this

2000-11-21T17:00:00-07:00

Tradition makes this wings and beer night at my place. Yee haw.

I probably won't be posting again until Monday, but I wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. For those of you, like me, who have a 4 day weekend, enjoy it. For those of you who don't... well, sucks to be you.

Peace out. Have a good break.

Holiday weekend, from the top....

2000-11-26T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so I left here on Wednesday night. The weekend was less than eventful, but I'll bore you with the details anyway.

Wednesday- Buffalo wings at my place. $3/lb. night, how can I resist?
Thursday- Thanksgiving lunch at my aunt's place. I brought a friend who doesn't have family close. He wants my cousin now.
Friday- Basically just wasted the day as best I could.
Saturday- Spent the day shopping, then watched some movies at my place. Passed on a party that sounded fun but turned out lame.
Sunday- Saw Charlie's Angels, then watched Transformers.

Then here I am. I wanted a weekend to chill out and settle in my apartment, so I was glad it came. I could have had more fun, but that's all right.

This week will be spent on little annoyances I have to do... my car needs some repairs and I have to help my dad carry some stuff at my parent's place.

I forgot to type an entry.

2000-11-27T17:00:00-07:00

Briefly that is. I just remembered, just now.

Last night's events...

Went to my place. Returned some phone calls from some annoying people I don't really want to hang out with. But... one came over and was obnoxious, as per usual. Then 2 people I wanted to come over came over. They helped themselves to my food, which was annoying. They used my phone without asking, which was annoying. They had greasy nasty hands and felt free to wipe them on my new couches. Of course a lot of the grease wound up on my phone as well. Then they tried to take over my TV, insulting what I was watching, and wouldn't give me back my cool ass remote control. One of them went outside, into my courtyard, to smoke and left the door open, so it was butt ass cold when I went to bed. While preparing my food for themselves, one set off my fire alarm (because nothing needs to be cooked at 550 degrees). I told him "hit the button to turn it off", but instead he ripped it out of my ceiling for no good reason. I had to put it back because he's too short. I tried to drop hints that I wanted to be left alone, since I was annoyed to hell by my stupid visitors, but they didn't get it and stuck around pretty much forever. It wasn't a good night. Tonight I will chill, by myself, with no company. I will not answer my phone or return phone calls. That's bitchy, isn't it? Ah well...

Why does this

2000-11-28T17:00:00-07:00

Why does this annoy me so much?

I hate it when people come over and fall asleep on my couch. I HATE it with a passion. It pisses me off more than anything. I can't exactly understand why, but it does. It always happens a lot.

Anyway... an addition to the problems on Monday night... I got home last night and did some cleaning up. There were empty soda cans and pizza boxes scattered about from my friends the night before. I picked all those up and threw them away. No big deal, not a problem. Then I take the plastic sack out of my trash can to take to the dumpster and I smell this nasty ass horrible smell. I look down and there's a big pool of Ranch dressing at the bottom of my trash can. Now, I don't eat or buy ranch dressing, so one of my friends had to take it there, open the package (a plastic bag from a fast food place I think), then just throw it away, mostly full, in my trash can without a bag. Then, realizing he was an asshole for doing so, covered it up by then inserting a plastic bag into my can. Bloody savages. I don't know if any of you have smelled day old ranch dressing from the bottom of a trash can, but it's not pleasant. I had to clean it out with a sponge and dish soap. It was gross.

Last night one of my more "messy" friends came over. I quoted "messy", only because he's not and everyone believes he is. Sure, his apartment is cluttered, but cluttered is not messy. Messes bother me, clutter doesn't. Sure, he left beer bottles on my counter and dirty dishes in my sink. That's no big deal. He didn't preheat my oven to 550 degrees for no reason or spill ranch dressing into my trash can. He also didn't wipe shit on my couches and phone. He asked to use my phone before he used it. He'll be invited over more often.

He did fall asleep on my couch though, which was annoying. He works third shift, so at 9 I woke him up. He called me an asshole and went back to sleep. At 9:30 I woke him up again, at which point he got mad at me for not waking him up earlier. That was annoying.

Tonight, hopefully, will be $3/lb. wing night at Garner's. We will not eat at my place because my visitors have been annoying me lately.

Alrighty then.

2000-11-29T17:00:00-07:00

Some of you (okay, just one of you) expressed some concern about me not typing about Jill/Julie as of late. So what happened to her? Did she die or did I simply wise-up? I simply wised (wose?) up.

The question was followed closely by why I put up with this crap from girls. Yet another good question. I'll field both of them here, at the same time no less, for everyone concerned.

First, it's happened twice, count 'em, twice, that I've run into a girl I considered to be more than a friend. That is, a girl I would want to date. That's right. 21 years old, and I've found only 2 girls I would want to date. I've dated 3 girls, and only 1 of them was on my "I can see myself dating this girl" list, and while we were dating, she wasn't even on the list. Ah, but that's a completely different story.

So, it's very rare that I actually like a girl enough to date her. When it happens, I think of it as proof that I MUST be right here. I mean, I wait around, refuse offers from other girls, waiting for the special one. I'm friends with tons of girls I would never consider dating, so when I run into a girl I WOULD date, how can I be wrong? It MUST be the right girl. Well, the first girl this happened with turned out to play me like a fool for months. It was the worst experience of my life and made me bitter about the whole dating thing. I still have contact with this girl, although not pleasant contact by any means. She messed me up for a long time, and made me very timid about entering another relationship-type-thing.

Then along comes Jill/Julie. I felt so strongly about her... not quite as much as I did about the other girl, but close. I thought... here's my chance to redeem myself. Here's my chance to prove I'm NOT messed up, and I can like a normal girl who will like me back. Well, that didn't work out either. I drug it out longer than I needed to, because I really wanted it to work out. Not necessarily for the relationship, but for my own sanity, I think. I wanted to be right, and have a correct feeling. Well, it didn't work out either. I don't know how I can consistently get the wrong feelings about things like this.

So, I finally came to terms with the Julie/Jill thing. She sort of had feelings for me, but my timidness (from the other girl) kept things from happening. When I stopped hesitating, I had missed my window and that was that. At least in her mind, and it took a little while longer to get out of my head as well.

So, that answers why I take shit from girls I like. Because I don't like many girls, and when I do, I want so desperately for things to work out that when they don't, I keep trying until finally I'm humiliated and stop talking to whoever it was I lingered on for too long.

And there's what happened to Julie/Jill. I just cut off contact. I saw and talked to her so much because I called her and emailed her a lot. I would go down to visit her and go out of my way to talk to her on the phone or on IM. I don't do that anymore, and luckily (luckily?) she doesn't like me enough to call me or write me emails. So, when I stopped trying to contact her, she simply vanished. She did email me once since the party, but it was a fluffy email with no real content, so it's hardly worth mentioning.

As for liking girls that I don't think will like me back... Well, I don't necessarily do that on purpose. It's just been coincidence (I hope) that 100% of the time that's how it's worked out. I can't ruin the streak now, so I'm on a quest for the next girl I'll like who will want nothing to do with me. It's kind of a joke, but it has some truth to it. Any volunteers? Let me know.

So that's about it. Any other questions about my lovelife or lack thereof? My life is an open book.

Last night marked

2000-11-29T17:00:00-07:00

Last night marked the 5th night in a row that someone fell asleep on my couch.

Ready for the next edition of "Things that piss me off that shouldn't?". Here we go.

Last night a friend of mine stopped by. He ate my food. Leftovers, from my fridge, and tried to tell me I made it wrong. He wanted to borrow my phone to make plans with someone else (which is rude in it's own right) and said "gimme the phone" instead of "can I use your phone?" Then he fell asleep on my couch, which I HATE so much. So, I just went to my room and was doing things online when he finally woke up, and then he told me I was being boring. So he left. God this is pissing me off. I'm gonna have to do some yellingif this is going to stop. I hate yelling, but I also hate getting pissed off about these little things I know shouldn't piss me off. But such is life, right?

I tried to get to sleep early last night. It didn't work. I went to bed somewhere around 10:30, and laid there for like 2 hours. I thought I was tired, but I guess not. Then a party started right above me and I woke up. Luckily it wasn't a loud party and they were playing some cool music, so it put me right back to sleep. Except everytime I went back to sleep, someone upstairs yelled really loud and woke me back up. I probably got a total of 5 hours last night, and I spent 9 hours in my bed.

Rumor has it that a party is going on tonight to celebrate the end of finals for the college people. I may have to put in a guest appearance...

pathetic

2000-11-29T17:00:00-07:00

In reading that post of mine, I realized I made myself sound relatively pathetic. Hopefully that's not the case.

I do consider myself relatively unexperienced in both the relationship and physical world. I like to say this is because I'm picky as to who I choose to date. Hopefully this is true.

The first girl I dated (and kissed) was when I was 15. I liked her for no reason than she liked me. I dumped her because another girl liked me. I dated her for a while, but she was very clingy. I was 16 and wanted to goof off with my friends, and she didn't want me to do that. I dumped her. This is the girl that later in my life, at 18, I decided I wanted to be with. I was wrong and that turned out... well, not so well.

The 3rd girl I dated was stupid. Not the girl, but the circumstance. I dated her for no reason, other than that she would date me back. I figured that "liking" part would come later. It never did. I dumped her too.

Do the math, and see that I've never been dumped. Go me.

More math though will reveal to you my lack of inexperience, as told of earlier.

I never even ended up kissing the 3rd girl I dated. It just never felt right with her. I've kissed 4 girls in my life. The first 2 girls I dated and 2 other random girls at random parties that got drunk and decided it was a good idea to ram their tongues down my throat. I usually cut these off as soon as I could, never getting carried away, despite how drunk I was.

So now you're starting to think that I'm very inexperienced, right? As in... like an 8 year old or something? Close, but no. I wanted (note the past tense) to have the loss of my virginity mean something. Not necessarily wait until marriage, but have it be special, and good. Unfortunately that's not how things worked out. It was a bad, uncomfortable experience that really changed a lot of things in my head, for the worse. I'll let you use your imaginations as to who the lucky lady was.

Nowadays I wouldn't have the slightest idea as to how to ask a girl out or kiss her for the first time, much less do anything else that people usually do in dating. Sad, huh?

And to think, this was supposed to make me out as not-pathetic.

I'm leaving for

2000-11-30T17:00:00-07:00

I'm leaving for the weekend now, so once I again I won't be posting or replying for a couple of days.

I don't have any big plans for the weekend. I've decided to be a bit more aggressive in this relationship thing, so this weekend may be the time when I do it. Hopefully. Or maybe my nuts will fall off sometime between then and now and I'll do nothing.

Since I didn't go out or do anything eventful last weekend, I really want to go out this weekend. If I don't, I'll be done pissed off.

Have a good weekend all.

last night

2000-11-30T17:00:00-07:00

Last night marked the 6th night in a row I had a visitor fall asleep on my couch.

I got home, called my "messy" friend, and we went to dinner. I dropped him off after dinner since he works 3rd shift and wanted a nap before work. I went home, made a phone call or 2, and in a matter of minutes I was headed over to another friend's house to pick her up.

She was in the middle of Friends, so I was forced to sit there and watch the end of it. That was okay with me, since the only empty seat was next to that girl I'm "infatuated" with. After Friends, we went to buy me a fake Christmas tree and ornaments. On the way I told her how much I hated it when one friend in particular sprinted for my phone, fell asleep on my couch, took over my remote, etc. etc. etc.

So, we get back to my place and I start setting up my fake tree. The other obnoxious friend, the one I had been complaining about, showed up. First he started making fun of my tree, saying it looked stupid and fake. Then he ate my food, then he was generally obnoxious. I had my TV tuned into one of those music channels... ya know, the commercial free ones that you get with any extra cable plan. Well, I guess this wasn't to his liking, so he grabbed my remote and I yelled at him, telling him that I was listening to it. Then he fell asleep on my couch. Meanwhile my other friend was apologizing and promising me they would get out of my hair ASAP.

They left, and I went to sleep. I was dead to the world the second my head hit the pillow, which is odd for me. I also didn't wake up during the night, and I woke up to my alarm rather than by myself. Those things never happen.

I was still dead ass tired this morning. In the shower I found myself just standing there, not moving or doing anything for like minutes at a time.

That was my night. Obnoxious Man has informed me that he won't be able to do anything this weekend. Damn. I was really disappointed when I heard.

And by disappointed, I mean happy.

My next post will be #3 on "Why Tim isn't as Pathetic as Everyone Thinks"

Why Tim isn't a Loser, part 3.

2000-11-30T17:00:00-07:00

I'm really not. I swear. Here's why.

First, I know I'm not very experienced in the relationship field. However, I don't believe this is because other girls have ruined me. I feel like it's my decision, and one that I thought about and decided on. I didn't want to be a playa or playboy or any of that. I feel like if I did that, I'd be cheating myself. I'd be more experienced, but a lot less true to myself. Which one is worse?

Second, I've passed up many opportunities to date girls, amung other things. Here's a few short stories for your reading pleasure.

Story one. A party at a friend's place. It got really big and nuts and one girl who I only knew in passing said she felt sick. Me, knowing exactly how to deal with it, was my usually clever charming self while inviting her to walk around the block with me. The cool air and exercise would do her good, plus vomiting outside is a lot less embarrassing than vomiting on a couch or something. So, as we were walking she asked me "When do you plan on kissing me?", to which I replied that I didn't ever plan on kissing her. Later that night her better friends told me I "could have gotten laid if I played my cards right". Mmmm hmmm....

Story two. This one is short. I was really drunk, too drunk to remember the whole thing. Another party, same apartment. Once I had sobered up a bit, a friend came up to me, saying "Dude, that girl told me she'd sleep with you tonight" then he pointed to some girl. I was like "um... I've never seen or talked to her before in my life", and he said "dude, she was just over here. She was hanging all over you, grabbing your butt and stuff. You talked for like 20 minutes and kept pushing her away when she tried to kiss you". Well, I didn't remember any of that... still don't, but I'll take his word for it.

Story three. Different apartment, different party. A girl I knew, in passing again, came. She brought one of her friends. I said hi and hugged the one I knew, but was only going to shake the hand of the one I didn't know. Instead she leapt forward and shoved her tongue down my throat. It took me a little longer to push her away, but I finally did it. She did it a few more times through the course of the night.

So, as you can see (hopefully) this inexperience is kind of self-inflicted, but that's how things should be for me, I think. I could have slept with different girls on more than one occasion, and this is without even trying. Think if I was putting any effort into this....

Plus I have an awesome car that goes fast. I have a good job, making quite a bit compared to the average 21 year old. I have my own place, a big screen TV, a whole bunch of speakers, a DVD player, a kick ass remote control, man, I'm quite a catch.

I do wish I could be more of a guy though. I just don't have it in me. In fact, if a girl wanted to date me and cited any of the above reasons, I probably wouldn't date her. That would make her shallow.

So, should I throw away everything I've ever believed and just date for the sake of having a date? Sometimes I think I should. I mean, this "waiting for the right girl" isn't working, and that's making me bitter. I don't hate girls yet, but I'm coming close. I just don't want to be "alone" anymore. I put the quotes there, because I don't consider myself alone and certainly not lonely. It's just a better word than single. Single is a good word, and I don't consider what I am right now good anymore. Does that make sense?

But I'm not pathetic. I'm not.

Freaky color quiz

2000-12-03T17:00:00-07:00

I was reading this girl's journal and she mentioned this quiz and it's freaky results. Curiosity and boredom made me take a look, and here's my freaky real results.

Your Existing Situation
Working to improve his image in the eyes of others in order to obtain their compliance and agreement with his needs and wishes

Your Stress Sources
Feels trapped in a disagreeable situation and powerless to remedy it. Angry and disgruntled as he doubts that he will be able to achieve the goals and frustrated almost to the point of nervous prostration. Wants to get away, feel less restricted, and free to make his own decisions.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to participate and to allow himself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.

Very exacting in the standards he applies to his choice of a partner and seeking a rather unrealistic perfection in his sex life.

Your Desired Objective
Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offering quiet contentment and a sense of belonging.

Your Actual Problem
Does not wish to be involved in differences of opinion, contention or argument, preferring to be left in peace.

Your Actual Problem #2
Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on his resources. A feeling of
powerlessness subjects him to agitation and acute distress. Tries to escape from this by relinquishing the struggle, and by finding peaceful and restful conditions in which to recuperate in an atmosphere of affection and security.

This is freakily accurate, with the exception of the "acute distress" thing. I don't think I get distressed. I get pissed, but that's different. That "stress" thing started out right, but at the end it got weird. I feel unrestricted and free to make my own decisions already.

Well, it's 4:40 which means time for me to leave early. yee haw.

Oh man I

2000-12-03T17:00:00-07:00

Oh man, I had the weirdest dreams last night. I dreamed that I went away to high school. The weird part is that the people I would be going to school with all looked about 21 or 22, and they were all people in my class in grade school. I was sharing a room with some friends of mine, and (this is a recurring theme in my dreams) the door to our room was like 3 feet tall and 2 feet wide. This isn't nearly big enough for my big screen TV, so we spent the majority of the dream figuring out how to make it fit. We talked to my dad, the "dean" of the school (my grade school principal), and finally I just woke up. We never did get that TV in there. There's weird parts of the dream I don't completely remember. I remember walking down the hall with a girl I used to have a crush on... you know, one of those "3rd grade and I finally like girls" crushes. I've still had some casual contact with her over the years, as a friend of a friend type relationship, but that's not the point. We were talking about whatever we were talking about and all the sudden she kissed me on the cheek and ran away. There are other parts I can remember, but they would just bored you.

So, this weekend... from the top. Friday night I got home and returned the calls on my answering machine. I was invited to go to a friend's apartment because he was making dinner and wanted to offer me some. Plus he didn't have to go to work until 11 that night, so we could hang out a little longer than usual. I also called a girlfriend of mine, but she was in class, so I would call her from my friend's place.

I went over, ate dinner, and about 7:30 I called her back. She said she was going to a bar with her roommates (one of which is the girl I'm infatuated with). I figured this was the best time in the world to test my new found braveness with the opposite sex. The girl I like goes to the bars occasionally, but more often than not she opts to stay home. If we went to the bar, I was going to hit on her and ask her out and stuff. If she opted to stay home, I would offer to keep her company... we could watch a movie or something. I'm a sly dog, no?

Well, if I stuck around his apartment until 11 I would more than likely miss anything going on. So, I explained this to him, he understood, and I left with the understanding that my girlfriend would call me back with the concrete bar plans later that night. I went back to my place, showered, changed, brushed my teeth, etc. I wasn't expecting to go out before 10 or so, so when I hadn't gotten a phone call by 10:30 I wasn't worried. She's reliable. by 11:15 I was getting worried. By midnight I knew she wasn't going to call. Luckily I had made plans with another friend of mine. He was working until 12:30 and they were hitting the bars downtown afterward. He was supposed to call me at 12:45 or 1 and he didn't either. I sat at home and did nothing all night.

The next day I learned that the guy had a wrong number and had been trying to contact me. Okay, no big deal. But the girl was still unexcused. I'm way too proud to call someone saying "why didn't you call me?"... I mean, they said they would call me and they didn't. If there's a reason, it's up to them to explain it to me. It's not up to me to drag it out of them. Well, the guy with the wrong number came to my place and we hung out for a while, and I explained to him my problem with this particular girl. We decided to go to the bars, sans women, so I took him home to get ready. I came back to my place and went online to check my email and when I got off, I had a brand new voicemail. Here it is, verbatim.

"Hi Tim, I like your new message. It's funny. Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't call you last night but I ended up not going to Gorman's anyway. I was tired and had a headache so I went to sleep and turned off my phone. Bryan tells me you're going out tonight again, but once again I'm going to bed early. I'll call you tomorrow because we're all going to the Grinch and I want you to come. So, I'll call you tomorrow."

Bryan tells me he said nothing about me being pissed, but that sounds a lot like an "I know your pissed at me" message. Well, we went out and had a good time at the bars, then we stopped by a horrible, boring, stupid party. It was so weak. We were there like 10 minutes then went home.

So, Sunday I was waiting for a call from that girlfriend. I mean, she ditched me once... she would definitely call, right? I decided what I would do. I would ask her who was going, and if my infatuation was on the list I would go. If not, I would tell her I would meet her there, then not show up. Pretty mature huh? I thought so.

Well, she didn't call. I think it's a little funny, and now I have this great right to be pissed at her for a long time. Something I'm sure I'll do. Stupid her. I just think it's so bizarre how people can be that insincere and unreliable. I would never dream of promising something as simple as a phone call and not delivering. We had made plans and she broke them. That's fine. I don't want her going out if she has a headache or something, but unplugging the phone is not the way to change plans. A simple phone call saying "Tim, I have a headache. I know I said we would go out, but I just don't feel up to it" would have been fine. I could have made other plans and not spent a Friday night sitting around waiting for a phone call.

Ah, but such if life.

So that was my weekend. I won't call that girl again for a long time. I hate being ditched and twice in a weekend is unacceptable by anyone's account. It's now her responsibility to call me and apologize. Right? Right.

The accuracy of

2000-12-04T17:00:00-07:00

The accuracy of that stupid color quiz made me want to do another one, so I tried one from emode called the ultimate personality test. Here's my results:

Hey, Tim, you're a Movie Star!
You're a bright ray of sunshine in an otherwise cold,
bleak world. Everyone loves your rosy cheeks and
sparkling eyes, and you secretly wonder why you're
not famous yet. You're friendly, charming, and great
with people (and perky — you'd make a good
Christmas elf at Macy's). Happily, your incredible charm
means you won't have to sleep your way to the top,
unless that's your thing.

So far, A-OK.

You're caring and optimistic. You don't get annoyed
with people very easily, and you can handle stressful
situations with ease and grace. Being a movie star,
you need to look good, and that means spending a lot
of time on your appearance. But you're not a snob
about possessions — as long as you're wearing the
best, most expensive outfit at the party.

Um... no. I still wear a lot of flannel and pants I bought in 8th grade. I shave twice a week. I really couldn't care less what I look like.

At work, you have framed pictures of your friends and
family on your desk, along with a couple of cute
stuffed animals. You like making your work
environment cozy and hospitable. After all, you
practically spend more time at work than you do at
home, right? You never shy away from asserting your
ideas and opinions, and encourage others to do the
same.

I have no pictures or anything decorating my little cube. I spend as little time here as possible, arriving late and leaving early. Everyday. But, not every online test can be right, right?

I woke up

2000-12-04T17:00:00-07:00

I woke up this morning and was going through my daily routine, when my phone rings. It's odd that I get a phone call at 7:30, but regardless I run to pick it up. My caller ID says "Private name, Private number". I figure it's a telemarketer, so I answer in a pissed off "Hello?" Here's the conversation.

"Hello?"
"Hey."
"Hi".
"What are you doing?"
"umm... nothing...what are YOU doing?"
"I'm just getting dressed."
"Cool.... (insert long silence) Who is this?"
"Who is THIS?"
"No, who is THIS?"
"Oh, ya know what, I have the wrong number *click*"

Very bizarre.

Last night I went bowling with a few buddies from high school that I don't see very often. I stayed out a little too late and I'm really, really tired this morning. I need Mountain Dew now.

Napster

2000-12-04T17:00:00-07:00

I'm looking for a song. It's a good song, but I don't remember the lyrics. I think it's by someone named Livehouse or something similar. It's a slowish song and the singer sounds familiar, but I can't place where's I've heard him. Livehouse gets me now results on Napster, but I really want this song. Anyone who can turn my vague information into a song will get my eternal gratitude. Or at least temporary gratitude.

I'm such an idiot.

2000-12-05T17:00:00-07:00

I wanted to stay in last night and get to sleep early. Oh, how I wanted that.

I got home and listened to my messages. One was from the girl who ditched me twice over the weekend. It said "I was calling to see if you wanted to go to Gorman's to celebrate Josh's birthday tomorrow", so I'm thinking I go to bed early tonight, go to Gorman's tomorrow, and I'm all set. No. She meant did I want to go to Gorman's tonight to celebrate his birthday, which is tomorrow.

Well, I ended up going, because I'm an idiot who does stupid things. I stayed out until about 1:30 then came home. The apartment above me was having a party again, so I fell asleep in my game room. Sometime in the course of the night I got up and went to my bedroom, but I don't remember doing that.

It was a good time I guess, but that girl actually said to me "Hey, thanks for not calling me back". I was going to say something like "Yeah, and thanks for ditching me twice in a weekend", but my delivery would have been a little late and I would have looked like a dick, so I kept my mouth shut. She'll get hers though. Oh yes.

My network has

2000-12-06T17:00:00-07:00

My network has been down all day, so this entry is a tad late. I'm sure you'll get over it eventually.

Despite what you naysayers said about me not going to bed early, you were wrong. Actually, it was just one naysayer, but you were still wrong. I had wings at my place, kicked my visitors out by 9 and was fast asleep in my bed by 9:30. So there.

And that was my night. Tonight I'm heading home and eating dinner with my parents. It should be a blast.

That was sarcasm. But at least it will be free.

Last night I

2000-12-07T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I ate dinner with my family. This will be a sad post, so brace yourselves.

My dad has polio. He's had it since he was like 7, so obviously I've never seen him walk like a normal person. When I was younger he would miss my father/son boyscout things because he just couldn't run and jump around. His "disability" never really slowed him down much, but it was just really apparent sometimes. We would play catch, but I would have to be really careful to throw the ball directly to him. He tried to show me how to drive a stick shift, but he can only use one leg, so he would grab his blue jeans with his hands and lift his leg on and off the clutch. He always found a way to get around these little obstacles.

Well, for the past few years it's been my job to carry those 50 lb. bags of salt down to the basement and throw them in the water softener. Since I've moved out, he tried to do it himself, tripped on a stair, and sprained his good ankle. He can't keep weight off of it, because his other leg isn't really good for much. He's stumbling around on crutches now, and it's really sad for me to watch.

Plus at dinner my mom got a call from my Aunt, telling her the condition of my grandma, which unfortunately isn't good. She's almost 80 and has been smoking for about 65 years. That takes it's toll after a while. She's having problems getting around now, and no one thinks she'll make it past the holidays.

Yeah, this will be a good Christmas.

As uneventful as

2000-12-10T17:00:00-07:00

As uneventful as this weekend was, I feel the need to update you.

Friday, did nothing.
Saturday, went to see Unbreakable, then did nothing.
Sunday, did laundry and cleaned.

Yee haw. Why did I clean all day on Saturday? Go ahead, ask me. Well, I cleaned because I'm having some people over. Who, you ask? Nurses. The entire nursing class at Bradley is coming to my apartment to drink beer tonight. Today is their last final, and they need to celebrate, but don't have a good place to do it. All of their roommates are busy studying for their finals, so they're coming over to my place. It should be awesome.

Of course, today we got about 400 inches of snow, so that may put a stop to our plans.

In short last

2000-12-11T17:00:00-07:00

In short, last night kicked ass.

Originally everyone was gonna show up really early, like 6, get wasted, then go to the bars. Well, because of the snow and because everyone we were dealing with was a stupid girl it took forever to get ready. Everyone arrived at about 8:30 or 9, and much drinking commenced. Everyone brought beer. EVERYONE. It's pretty much all still in my fridge, because despite bringing beer, all the girls opted to drink hard liquor. Fine with me... they left the beer in my fridge, so it's mine now.

The girls played "I've Never", which is a stupid drinking game. You sit in a circle and one person says "I've never...." and they complete the sentence with something they HAVE done. Then everyone who has done that had to drink. Me and Mullens were going to play, but we never got to drink. Ever. Stupid girls. "I've never had sex during my period", "I've never given or received oral sex from a boy", and "I've never slept with 2 guys in a night" didn't get me very drunk. I was afraid to drink because the girls would laugh, and I'm fragile.

By 12:30 everyone was out of my apartment except one girl. She just loved jamming her tongue down my throat, and she did it quite a bit. I puked at about 1, then decided it was time to go to bed shortly afterward. She followed me into my bedroom, which was fine with me. I told her that nothing was going to be happening that night. She argued a little, but finally said okay. We made out a little bit, but pretty much nothing else happened. She fell asleep and so did I. I woke up at about 5am and she wasn't there anymore, so I went looking for her. My apartment was locked from the inside, so I knew she was there. After a brief search I found her sleeping in my closet in the game room. I threw a blanket on her and went back to bed. Last night was my chance to be a "real guy" and I missed it. Damn.

This morning I found puke on my carpet. Lots of it. I know it wasn't there when I went to bed. It's not a big deal or anything, I like cleaning up puke beer. I don't have much of a hangover today, surprisingly enough. I'm just really tired and have a horrible headache. I took my ritualistic beer shit at work. I hate shitting in public restrooms, but I hate feeling that uncomfortable all day too. So, it was big and smelly and that was that. I may leave work at noon and go home to sleep, but unfortunately I have a lot of work to get done here.

sweet jesus

2000-12-11T17:00:00-07:00

Lab

Come on in, grab a drink, and put your paws up - your frank,
easygoing personality and lovable good nature make you the
perfect party-going Lab. Always delighted to meet new
people, you're truly interested in finding out what makes them
tick. Your ready smile and genuine curiosity help you break the
ice with all kinds of folks, and you excel at making them relax
and feel comfortable. Heck, you don't even have to try - it
comes naturally. You're in top form at backyard barbecues,
casual get-togethers, and cookouts on the beach. And you
don't go to parties to network or hook up (at least, not on
purpose...) - you're just there to have a good time. Which you
usually do.

Damn. That personality test thing was a crock, but this couldn't be more accurate.

You know I

2000-12-11T17:00:00-07:00

You know, I was just thinking about this for some weird reason.

I've kissed 5 girls in my life. 3 of those girls were random girls at parties. 2 of those girls, I don't even know what they're names are. Is that weird? And only once have I ever kissed a girl that I actually liked. That's weird too, isn't it?

Well work has

2000-12-12T17:00:00-07:00

Well, work has actually given me some work to do today. Will wonders never cease?

With a job to do, I don't have as much time to do that oh-so-important stuff, like updating my journal and whatnot. I know... I should prioritize.

I ended up going home at noon yesterday. I had to clean up the puke on my carpet. It was absolutely disgusting. I followed the directions on this carpet cleaner stuff and I think I ruined my carpet in the process. The puke is now gone, but the spot it was on is now a lot lighter than the rest of the carpet. I was down on my hands and knees with this little brush trying to get all the "granules" or whatever out of there, and I managed to get it kind of close to the original color of the carpet. You can still see it if you look closely.

A couple of friends brought me dinner, and a movie. We watched it and they left about 9. I fell asleep almost immediately afterwards. It was a long, eventful Monday night, remember? I was tired as a skunk's ass.

At about 10 a party started the floor above me. I tried to sleep through it, but alas, I couldn't. So I slept in my game room until about 1, then went back to bed. Then at 1:15 the party started again, so I left again. At 3:30, I went back, again, and at 3:45 they started yelling and running around upstairs, which, by all accounts is way more annoying than music. Luckily by 3:45 I was tired enough to ignore it and I passed out anyway. I actually slept until like 7:04 this morning. That means my alarm was going off for 4 minutes before I woke up. That NEVER happens. I almost always wake up about 6:58. I have a really good internal clock, I'm told.

So, that was my night. For those of you keeping track, tonight is Wednesday, and you know what that mean....

Buffalo wings and beer. Mmm mmm mmm.

Last night was NOT buffalo wing night.

2000-12-13T17:00:00-07:00

While I was at work yesterday, we got somewhere near 6,000 inches of snow, so the roads were awful on my way home. I couldn't take the interstate because a semi had flipped over and was blocking it, so I had to take this backass way. The roads hadn't been plowed yet, and since I never go this route I didn't even really know where the roads were. It took me a little more than an hour to get home. The drive is about 12 miles.

So, I get home and have 3 messages on my answering machine. I just know that one of them is wondering about the plans for buffalo wings, but alas, none was. I got an invitation to go to Famous Dave's from one of my good friends that I rarely see these days, so I eagerly accepted.

Dinner was good, but expensive. About $18. The only thing that comforts me is knowing that my other friends can't really afford to have an $18 dinner, but they did it anyway. There goes that financial responsibility thing, right?

I get back to my apartment and about 10 minutes later I get a call from a friend. He had thrown his truck in a ditch and needed a ride back to the truck and wait for the tow truck. That was a lot of "truck"s for a sentence, no? Anyhoo, I took him. I almost died in the process. By this point there was 14,000 inches of snow on the ground and I had to go down this hill. I went down the whole thing sideways before finally stopping like 5 inches from his truck. The tow guys got there and took about 2 hours getting his truck out as me and him sat and watched. It was kind of cold too. He had popped a tire and messed up the underside of it, so there was no way he could drive it home. The tow guys left and I drove back up that stupid hill that had almost killed me.

We get back to his place before he figures out that he had given the tow guys ALL his keys, not just the truck key. So, he couldn't get into his apartment. We had to go through the 22,000 inches of snow to his back porch and I had to lift his dumbass up to climb in a window.

That was my night. I hope you've enjoyed it.

So last night

2000-12-14T17:00:00-07:00

So, last night I get home and have a few messages on my machine, as per usual. One guy wants me to drive him to work that night, since he just crashed his truck (remember?). I call him back, say I'll drive his dumb ass to work, and invite him to dinner. Of course, I have to go pick him up and on my way out of my alley I hit a whole bunch of snow. I thought I was gonna be alright, since I straightend my car out and was heading the right way. Unfortunately the car started sliding to the left. I did everything I could do, but I slid right into the curb. I tried getting out, but alas, I could not.

I got out of the car and started kicking the snow out from underneath it. I figured if I could hit the pavement underneath one of my wheels, I'd be good to go, but the snow was really packed down tight, and I couldn't do it.

Luckily a guy and 2 girls I didn't know walked by and volunteered to help me out. We finally got my car pushed out and I took off. On my way over to my friend's, I realized my power steering wasn't working anymore. Hmmm....

So, we go out to eat. I figured some snow got lodged somewhere that was impairing my steering ability, and that it would fall out after driving a few miles. It didn't.

We get back to my place and pop the hood. Power steering fluid, full. Power steering pump? Hooked up to the belts and running fine. I figured the problem wasn't in the engine, it was in the snow that had gotten stuck somewhere. We cleared all the snow out of my wheel wells, then I took it to the car wash and sprayed hot water all over the engine compartment and underneath as well as I could. It didn't help.

Tonight I'm going home and putting the car in my parent's garage, jacking it up, and climbing underneath it to see what's wrong. Stupid car. Stupid winter.

I don't know if you've ever tried driving a car without power steering, but it's tough.

Well I'm about

2000-12-14T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I'm about ready to leave for the weekend. On top of our 22,000 inches of snow, we now have a foot and a half of freezing rain. Driving home will be like ice skating.

If I never type again, assume that I died on my way home tonight.

Anyway, I'm having another, smaller, party tomorrow, and no other plans this weekend. It won't be eventful by any means, but it will be nice.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Monday morning. Tired

2000-12-17T17:00:00-07:00

Monday morning. Tired, so tired.

My weekend, from the top. Friday night after work I headed back to my parent's house. I was going to jack my car up, fix whatever was wrong with the power steering, then just go home. After jacking it up and climbing under, I saw a ton of snow built up around everything that I need to help me steer. I figured this was my problem, so using hot water and a heat gun I got rid of all the snow, then climbed in and tried the steering. No improvement. I rechecked everything I had checked the night before, but this time found that the power steering fluid was dirty and smelled really bad. I had burnt out my pump, probably from trying to turn with all that snow built up everywhere. Ah well, live and learn. So, my car is in the shop, getting a brand new power steering pump put on. My dad drove me back to my place, then left me without a car for the rest of the weekend.

I made a few phone calls, but couldn't really make any plans. One friend's truck is still in the shop from his mishap a few days ago, and my girl friend was scared to drive with the roads in the condition they were in. So, at 10:30 I gave up and fell asleep on my couch.

Saturday I was still stranded without a car. I was having a party that night and needed to go pick up food and beverages, but I couldn't really get away to do that. Plus, my good friend was coming back from Colorado, so I was on the phone trying to see where she was, and if she would even make it back with Peoria's "blizzard like" conditions. Finally she made it back, and we grabbed some food and stuff for my party and headed back to my place.

The party was... uh... good. I guess. I knew not a lot of people were going to show up. Jill/Julie promised she would, but then called me later in the day with a speech about the "weather" and how it would completely hinder her arrival. Bullshit. It was a little bit cold out, but the girl had to drive like 5 miles. Tops.

Ah, but I digress. Not a lot people showed, maybe 15 at the most. It was fun though, and they drank a lot of beer. A lot. There were only 3 people there I didn't know, and they were all really cool. None of them tried to kick my ass, which is always a plus when it comes to parties.

On Sunday, me, Fabish (my best friend of 21 years), Steph (the girl just back from Colorado), and Angie (the girl scared to drive in bad conditions) went Christmas shopping. It was a disgrace, really. I bought a present for my dad, but no one else.

I'm having some of my drawings framed for my sister, brother in law, and mom, but all my drawings are in the back of my car, and my car is in the shop. I couldn't very well buy presents for my friends while shopping with my friends, so I walked away from our outing with a power drill and nothing else.

the 2 girls that killed my ambition.

2000-12-18T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, here's the long sad story of Tim's love life. I made this private, because I'm sure I'll put some information in here I don't necessarily want any of them knowing. Here goes.

It all started my Sophomore year in high school. I was dating a girl named April. There wasn't a really good reason why I was dating her. I didn't really like her too much. But, she was pretty good looking, a cheerleader, and she asked me out. I said okay. Well, enter another girl. Barb. She was a year younger than me, but we got along great. She had a boyfriend, so there was kind of a little bit of tension, but not a lot. I kind of wanted to date her, and she kind of wanted to date me, but we were both in other relationships, so it wasn't ever an infatuation either one of us took too seriously. That is until I started spending too much time with Barb and April called me on it. She basically presented me with an ultimatum, which I didn't like. I broke up with her, telling her that I didn't do anything wrong, but no one could tell me what to do like that. I was a hard ass, I guess.

Barb found out what happened and felt understandably bad. I told her it wasn't a big deal. After all, I had just turned 16 and wanted to goof around with my guy friends. I was actually sort of looking forward to being single for a while. Barb tried to find a way to make it up to me, but I told her not to worry about it. A few days later she called me up, told me she had dumped her boyfriend, and wanted to date me. I told her I wasn't up for that. We could "see" each other, but I didn't really want be "tied down", after just getting all this new freedom with my new car and driver's license.

But, Barb was a persistent young lass and eventually wore me down. I told her I would date her. I tried to juggle my social life with my date life, but unfortunately I'm not very good at it. I would spend Friday night with Barb, Saturday with my guy friends. Barb would complain, so I'd spend Friday with my guy friends and all day Saturday with Barb. She'd complain, so I'd keep trying to suit her. Finally I had just had enough. I was working now, and had very little time for any kind of social life, much less 2 social lives that I knew had no chance of merging. I called it off.

She asked if I still wanted to be friends. I said sure, and I meant it too. I DID want to be friends.

For a while we were friends. But, it's pretty difficult to go from a pretty hot and heavy relationship (in terms of 15 and 16 year olds, back then), to a friendship. Some stuff still happened, despite my trying to resist. By this time, my Junior year (her sophomore) had started. I spent less time with her than I did over the summer. She didn't like that.

Another thing I feel like I should explain was going on during this summer too. My mom quit her job, and my sister was going to an expensive private college, me to an expensive private high school. This really pissed me off, and there was a lot of tension in my household because of it. Money was tight. We weren't poor by any stretch of the imagination, but we were a lot poorer than we needed to be. I couldn't get name brand stuff all the time, and the food I ate was generic. My cars were so shitty. These aren't horrible things, but when you're 16, going to a private high school, they matter quite a bit. I put a lot of blame on my mom. I still do. During this summer, we were supposed to take a trip to California. I found out the day we left that my mother would not be joining us. It was me, my sister, and my dad. We were out there almost 2 weeks, and when we got back my mom had moved out. I don't know where she went, but she came back about 2 months later. When she came back I was already pretty well into my junior year.

Well, this whole thing made me very bitter. I no longer had to answer to my mom. She meant nothing to be by this point, and my dad was too upset to care what I did. So, I got really stupid during this time. I stopped contact with all my old friends and made new ones. I did this, I think, to distance myself from the life I knew. I didn't especially want the friends I had to know what was going on with me, and I felt like I had to do it alone. So, I did. I stopped calling my friends and when they called me I yelled at them, telling them they didn't understand or something. I barely knew what I was saying back then. It didn't make any sense to me, even while I was saying it.

So, I spent a lot of time at home, with my dad. My sister was at school, and my dad spent most of his time in the garage. To this day, I still don't think my sister especially knew what was going on, exactly. After this got boring, I started going out with my other friends. My old friends were good, upstanding people. Honor Roll students, straight edged.... great people who will make something with their lives. My new friends.... not so much. They did a lot of drugs, drinking, were failing out of school, that sort of thing. I tried it for a while. I drank a lot. A LOT. I didn't do a lot of drugs, but I did some. This wasn't my lifestyle, and I knew it. This isn't where I wanted to be, so I left. Again.

I was 17 by this point, and still had my job at the movie theater. Barb would stop by and see me, and she'd call me on the phone a lot. I was ashamed of my behavior, and my family life. I didn't want people who knew me before to see me now, so talking to her pissed me off like you wouldn't believe. But, since I had made up my mind to stop this stupid behavior, I was trying to reintroduce myself to my old friends. Barb knew something was going on with me though, she always had known it. My other friends didn't know it, and I wasn't volunteering anything. I still didn't want her to talk to me. When the visits and phone calls wouldn't stop, I made some crack to one of my friends about her stalking me. Somehow word got back to her about what I had said, and she apparently didn't like it too much. I was walking down the hall to one of my classes and she came out of nowhere, shoved me into a locker and yelled at me about it. That was the end of her.

Enter... Senior year. I had a brand new job at Kinko's, severing the ties to my druggie friends at the movie theater. I got some of my old friends back, and made some new ones on top of that. I was doing great. My grades were up, my mom and I were getting along a little better, mostly because she had gotten a new job. No more financial troubles in the Wasson household, and I was happier than I had been in a long time. As luck would have it, I had 2 classes with Barb. Her last name being Ward and mine Wasson, we were always sat right next to each other. I felt bad for the way things had gone down in the years before. Twice I had killed my relationship with her when she was just trying to be friendly. I apologized for my behavior and hoped we could put that behind us, and be friends again. I wasn't interested in dating her, which was good because shortly after the "stalking" incident she got a new boyfriend, Nick. We started passing notes in class, talking on the phone, things like that. I felt really close to her, especially since she was so eager to accept me back after the horrible way I treated her. I knew there was something special there.

So, you guessed it, I started having feeling for her again. I knew she wouldn't want anything to do with me, since she was dating Nick. Still, I couldn't just stand around and feel this way without saying anything. So, this is what I told her, almost verbatim:

"Barb, I don't expect you to do anything with this, since I know you probably won't, but still, I feel like I should tell you. I really like you, and I think we would make a great couple. I know you're dating Nick, so I don't expect anything to happen, but I just thought you should know."

Well, she told me she felt the same way. She had thought about it too, had felt the closeness I had felt, and had considered dumping Nick for me. But, after debating in her head about it, she had decided to stay with him. This was the resolution I expected, so we hung up and I was satisfied with my attempt.

Fast forward 10 minutes, and Barb calls me up. She says she thinks she made the wrong choice, and I need to help her make the right one. All I needed to do was talk to her, listen to her, and be her friend. Eventually she'd make a concrete decision. I was ecstatic that she was putting this much thought into things. Maybe, just maybe, she'd choose me and all would be well in the world. She asked me why I had acted the way I had acted. I told her everything I just put in this here post. To this day, she's the only one (oh, and I guess anyone reading this, too) who knows the whole story. She then told me what she had been up to since our breakup, and the events that followed.

Basically, to make her story short, she turned into a big slut. She was sleeping around a lot. She's one of those God-lover types who felt bad about it. As well she should... she knew her boundaries and didn't follow them. She knew I have no problem with premarital sex, or meaningless sex, but SHE had different views, and should follow them. She felt dirty, she said. Luckily, she had stopped. But, she was now sleeping with Nick on almost a daily basis. I didn't see the harm... sure, it was premarital sex, something she didn't agree with, but compared to what she had been doing this was a walk in the park. A loving relationship, steady... no problem. But, she felt bad anyway, and wanted desperately to stop and didn't know how. Me, being the boy scout I am, offered to help in any way I could.

The way to help, said her, was just be there, listen to her and tell her it was going to be okay. I did that. She called me almost every night, her voice trembling, telling me she just slept with Nick. It tore me up inside like you wouldn't believe. It made me sick to my stomach. I vomited a lot back then. I would stay home on weekends because I knew she would call me, and she needed me.

As me and Barb got closer, her and Nick got more distant. Good, as far as I was concerned. We would go out on weekends together, talking and laughing and having a great time. This went on for a while, and a lot of stuff happened that made me feel like shit, but I'll skip those and move to the big one.

After a few months I started pushing her for an answer. I liked being her friend and all, but she knew I wanted more and stringing me along like this wasn't helping. She told me she was trying to make a decision, but it was hard, seeing Nick as a boyfriend and me as a friend, to make a clear decision. Her answer, for us to kiss and see what happens. See if there's the sparks that she felt with Nick. This had to be a highly secret mission, since me and her really shouldn't be seeing each other anyway. Nick was getting more jealous, and Barb's parents were getting worried. So, we definitely had to sneak a kiss. If anyone saw us, it would just be a disaster.

I drove her home from school one day, and she told me her parents weren't home. It would be the perfect time to kiss, and see what happened. We went to her bedroom, just in case her parents walked in. It was extremely awkward, trying to kiss under these circumstances, but we did. And as soon as we did, there was other stuff. A lot of other stuff. It got really intense, and fast, and before I knew it we were in the middle of the act. I tried to stop, knowing full well that this was the sort of thing she was trying to stop doing. This was what made her feel dirty, and less worthy as a person. I tried to stop. I did stop, actually. A few times, but she kept telling me it was okay, killing my conscience for a few minutes at a time. Finally things were over, and we were getting dressed. She told me I had to hurry out, since her parents would be home soon. I hurried out.

On the way home I kept thinking.... If this was real, then why would she let it happen when I was trying to stop it? But, if she was lying about wanting to stop, why? What was her motivation? She had done a pretty good job of making me feel like shit, but why would she do that on purpose? Tons, tons, tons of questions filled my mind.

Things were understandably weird from that point on.

My friends tried to convince me that she was messing with me, even though they didn't know the point to which we had messed. I told them they just didn't understand, that it was different, they just didn't know. Meanwhile, me and Barb weren't having deep conversations or talking much anymore.

Fast forward... graduation. She gave me a card I felt was from the heart. She apologized for how things had happened, saying that she'd never forget me and she would love me forever. I felt even shittier. Had I taken advantage of her that day, then ignored her ever since? Was it my fault?

I went away to school about 3 weeks later. I tried to stay in touch with her, but she wouldn't return my mail, email, or phone calls. After a few months of this, my friend's advice started to ring true. She was messing with me. I had messed her up a few years back, and this was her revenge. It worked. She made me feel like shit for more than a year by this point.

Well, I didn't talk to her for a long time after that.

Ah, but remember when I was making all new friends? I made one named Missy (or Jill/Julie for those of you in-the-know). We had a lot of the same interests, and experiences. She was an adorable girl. She, unlike Barb, returned my phone calls, email, and letters while I was in Chicago. We got a lot closer during that time, and I thought maybe this would be the girl to help me recover from the whole Barb fiasco.

Whenever I went home I would see her. We got along great.

When she went away to school, I went down to visit her one weekend. We drank a lot. We also got very close. She tried to kiss me, but I would pull away. Then I would try to kiss her, and she would pull away. That's how things worked that night. Finally we fell asleep, in each other's arms on the ground. It was wonderful. With her I didn't need to tell her I wanted to date, it was just kind of understood. She had reservations, because we were such good friends and she didn't want to ruin that. All I could do was bide my time. There was no arguing with that.

We kept in touch a lot. We came very close to dating, especially right before I graduated college. We were very close to just saying "All right, let's go for it", then I graduated. This is where things get weird.

I get home and my friends and family have thrown me a surprise graduation party. I was tired out of my mind from all my finals, that I had just finished that day, so at the time I didn't even notice that Missy wasn't there. The next day I realized it though, and called her. She apologized for not being there, but her excuse was what killed me. She said she would have felt uncomfortable with all those people she didn't know. Fuck that. It was my party, she would have been there for me, congratulating me for graduating #1 in my class with a 3.9 GPA, graduating early no less. Her excuse was so "me me me" that I got pissed. With good reason, I still believe. That was my accomplishment, and her not acknowledging it because of some selfish reason pissed me off.

She used my pissed off behavior as an excuse to call it quits. She had felt "distance" now. Whatever. She told me she didn't really ever want to talk to me again. I said fine.

2 months later she emails me (nice and personal, eh?) and apology. I accept, because I'm a damn chump. We try to be friends again, but it's pointless. It's not working, and it's not going anywhere. She's not a good friend, and you guys know that from my troubles with her at the beginning of this journal.

So, there is it. My horrible experiences with love. Hopefully #3 will work. I'm not looking for marriage, I'm looking for returned feelings, and a relationship involving those feelings that doesn't end like these have.

And, a strange ending, for your reading pleasure.

Barb is back in the picture. Go figure. She's been emailing me, telling me she misses me as a friend and wants to hang out again. I email her back, saying I'm not interested, she has nothing to prove to me anymore, and I would rather call it quits back when we called it quits. She doesn't like this answer. And remember how persistent she is? She might just win this battle, too.

Breaking tradition

2000-12-18T17:00:00-07:00

'sup dawgs? I know, it's not often (okay, it's never) that I post in this here journal from home, but I'm doing it now. Why, you ask? Well, because I am so absolutely bored off my ass and can't think of anything else to do.

So, the question was "why does people falling asleep on your couch bother you so much?" and the answer is....

... it just does. Not because of the event per say, but because of all the reasons for it. Let me give you 2 stories.

A friend of mine, Brice, knows how much it pisses me off when people fall asleep on my couch. Still, he falls asleep. I tried to wake him up at about 9, and he called me a dick and went back to sleep. Then at 9:30 I woke him up again, because he had to work. He called me a dick again, then he called me an asshole for not waking him up earlier. Oh, but I can live with that. The next week he drops by, unannounced, at about 9:15. Now, keep in mind that when I'm not doing anything else, I tend to be asleep by 10:30 to accomodate my early work schedule, as well as my stay-out-too-late habits. This particular night I was really tired anyway, and about to go to sleep.

Still, he comes over and suggests we go out and rent a movie. I say no, because I'm tired and really just want to go to sleep. He grabs a movie and throws it on anyway, so by this point I've decided that I guess I'll stay up. He ate my cookies, then he drank my beer, then he fell asleep on my couch. I woke him up and told him he was a bit inconsiderate for keeping me up, meanwhile he just falls asleep on me. He told me to stop being so anal.

I woke him up about 2 more times within the next 10 minutes, both times him telling me he was just blinking, and was wide awake. So, the 3rd time I sat there and watched as he slept for like 45 seconds. I woke him up and told him to go home, so I could get some sleep. He called me a dick, again, for "kicking him out" when in fact, I had never even invited him. That's story 1 why it pisses me off.

My other dumb friend, Mullens, falls asleep everywhere all the time. THAT really pisses me off. Not because of the act, again, but because of the inconsiderations surrounding the act. He always tells me what a "pussy" I am on the rare occassion that I turn down an invitation to go out when I have to work the next morning. He always brags about how he sleeps only 5 hours a night, and stays out late every night. Yet, when we watch a movie at 7:30 at night, he falls asleep on my couch. Yeah, you're a stud. The last time it happened was right after he drank my beer, took over my remote control, and used my phone without asking. Then after he fell asleep I just said "fuck it" and came online to waste some time. When he woke up he called me boring and left.

Truthfully, if I had a really considerate, nice, understanding friend who had a rough day and fell asleep on my couch, I wouldn't mind it. Unfortunately it's my dickhead friends that always do it. Go figure.

So, I've done nothing tonight thus far, and will not do anything else tonight. I'm probably going to sleep very soon here. Since I don't really have anything to update you guys on tomorrow, I'll just bitch about my friends some more. Sound good? Good.

I just got a raise.

2000-12-18T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday marked my 6 month anniversary at this company, so they've given good 'ole Timbo a big 'ole 10% raise. Go Tim.

I'd tell you my post-raise salary, but that would make all of you extremely jealous, I'm sure.

I just posted

2000-12-18T17:00:00-07:00

I just posted my first private entry. For you friends of mine, enjoy.

As promised...

2000-12-18T17:00:00-07:00

... I will now bitch about my friends some more. Actually, just one of my friends, because he is pissing me off like you wouldn't believe.

The story starts more than a month ago. Me and Brice (the guy pissing me off) are sitting in a pizza place in the mall. He says "Oh my God, look at that girl over there". I turn around to see a girl walking to the back of the restaurant. I turn back to Brice and say "Dude, that's my cousin". He didn't believe me, but it was absolutely true.

A few days later I invite him to Thanksgiving dinner with my family. He doesn't have any family around here (he's the guy from Anchorage), so he accepted. Of course, my cousin was there. He gets a little infatuated while talking to her during dinner. Then, he won't stop obsessing about her. He kept asking me for her number, asking me to ask my parents for her number, etc. etc. Finally he used MY PHONE (read: my phone bill) to call information and get it. Still, not a big deal.

They go out once and now the boy will not stop talking about it. All the time. Every second. We can't have a conversation without bringing her up. I hate it. It's not just because it's my cousin, it's because he's obsessing. And he never refers to her by name, it's always "your cousin". I hate that too.

I've never had a problem with this kid, but everyone else I know has. I guess you can overdose, and now I have. Yesterday I had 2 messages from him on my machine. The first said "Dude, I left my backpack there, so I need to get it. I'm just going to come over." The second message said "Dude, I just rode my bike over there, and you weren't there". No shit?

I talked to him yesterday, and apparently after he got here he walked around my whole building, looking in my windows. He could tell me exactly which lights I had left on. Now, that's weird and all, but I was still happy that we were having a conversation that didn't involve my cousin. Then, finally he says "Hey, did you know your aunt died?" to which I replied "No, she didn't. Maybe Megan's aunt died, but not mine." To which he replied "Dude, your family is so fucked up". I didn't feel the need to explain to him how this was possible, and very easy to understand if he thought about it, so I simply hung up and didn't answer when he called back multiple times.

Other than that, things are good with my friends. I just need to stay away from this guy for like... a week. Then things will be good again.

My stupid friends.

2000-12-19T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, it's come to my attention that I do nothing but bitch about my stupid friends in this here journal. I don't want to do that, because my friends are really great. So, this is a feel good post, listing some of my friends, and their better qualities. I try to draw inspiration from my friends, to see what I do and don't want to be like. So far you've been reading about how I don't want to be, so this will be how I DO want to be like them.

Mullens, who I probably bitch about the most. A tad inconsiderate and cocky (a Marine, what do you expect?), but also such a great guy. He's the type I can rely on for anything, from loaning me money to helping me move, to helping me fix a flat tire in the freezing cold at 4 in the morning.
Fabish, who I don't bitch about much, because I don't really see him much. I grew up with the kid, so we have very similar senses of humor and ideas of entertainment. He's taught me that you can joke around, and still be very sincere at the same time. You don't have to give up your humor to be serious. Also, he's taught me that good friends should be able to go from stupid jokes to very serious conversation very quickly, without skipping a beat. Me and him have this mastered.
Angie. I love her motherly consideration for everyone. Sure, it can be overwhelming sometimes, but it's something I hope to be more like in the future. Always considerate to people's feelings, always comforting to people when they need it, and does things for people because she likes to do them.
Stephanie, who I don't think I've ever bitched about, and with good reason. She's the absolute best listener on earth, and will always give advice that 1. I know she would do herself and 2. is completely unbiased in every way. She's friendly under any circumstance, and doesn't let things get her down. She knows when people need her to be there, and will go out of her way to be there for them. I remember when I was feeling like shit in Chicago one night, and she stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking to me about my problems.
Brice, who I've been bitching about constantly lately. He's a really laid back guy, who doesn't let anything get to him. He laughs at his $65,000 debt, and doesn't let it bother him. His strength to move away from Alaska, and to drop out of school after realizing what he was doing wasn't making him happy is very inspirational to me.

So, there it is. Hopefully this will help people understand why I bother putting up with their nonsense. There's a lot of substance underneath those annoyances, and they all have traits that I'm hoping will rub off on me. Eventually.

what did i do last night?

2000-12-19T17:00:00-07:00

I know, I forgot to answer that.

Okay, I went home, grabbed my portfolio, made a few phone calls, then left to get my parent's Christmas gift. I'm getting a piece of my artwork framed for them, which was a lot more expensive than I expected it to be. Ah, but such is life.

I went back to my place and wasted some time before my friends came and picked me up. Steph and Molly, who I never see these days, were picking me up, and we were going to go to Goodwill, then out to eat and to Walmart. Well, by the time we got done eating it was 9:15. I had to drive Brice to work at 9, so I figured I should skip the Walmart run and take him in.

I run over to Brice's, only to find him asleep. I stood around, waiting for him to get ready, then took him to work and went back home. I checked my email, then took a bath, which is something I haven't done in so, so long. Baths are girly, I know, but they're also very relaxing and comfortable, and a something I don't get to treat myself to very often.

Tonight I'm heading back to my parent's house. I have to do a little more work on my car, then we're eating dinner. It's my dad's birthday tomorrow, so we'll be celebrating that tonight. Pretty exciting, no?

Last night I

2000-12-20T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I went back to my parent's, again. Dinner was good, and free. Swedish meatballs, which my mom has mastered. My great grandma (who lived to the tender age of 94) was born and raised in Sweden, so you can imagine that she was pretty good at making meatballs. She taught my mom everything she knows. She's pretty good at it, but not anywhere close to my great grandma.

I also had to put a new thermostat in my car. My heater works now, which is good, considering it's about 80 below in Illinois these days.

I went home for a little while, then I had to drive Brice to work. Then I went to pick up Steph and we saw Dude, Where's my Car? It was okay... kinda funny, in a "this is a movie I would have written when I was 12" kind of way. I wouldn't pay for it though. Either sneak in, or rent it.

Tonight I'm going to sleep early, damn it. I will not be driving Brice to work, because he works at 9, and I will be fast asleep by then.

I have no

2000-12-21T17:00:00-07:00

I have no self control. Ever.

Okay, so I was at work yesterday and got an email from a friend, asking if the party for last night was still on. I had to think about it for a couple of minutes, but then I remembered. On my party on Saturday, this guy was asking me if I wanted to have a party there, where we'd just drink a couple of beers, then hit the bars in celebration of his 21st. I said sure, no problem, c'mon over. Well, I had completely forgotten that I had promised him that, and the email made me feel bad. I replied saying sure, c'mon over, but on account of me forgetting all week, don't expect a big group of people here or anything.

Well, he, his brother, and 2 friends of mine from high school ended up showing up. It was lame. We just watched a movie and drank some beer. At midnight he turned 21, so he wanted to be in a bar by then. I wanted to go, but I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in more than a week. When they left, I had to back out. I felt so bad. But, at least that was practicing some self control. I'll have to make it up to him somehow. Poor guy. My 21st sucked too, since no one was 21 yet. He at least had me, and I was too tired to go to the bars. Stupid me. Stupid bars. Stupid job that makes me wake up early. Stupid everything.

I also slept like shit last night. It was horrible. I like my room to be freezing cold, so I can put on like 8 blankets, but now my apartment is boiling hot. I guess they turned up the heat, on account of it being -200 degrees here in Peoria. But now it's steaming. I was sweating last night while watching TV.

Well, not really, but it's hot.

There's no one

2000-12-21T17:00:00-07:00

There's no one in the office today. Everyone took the day off. I can't because I wasted my days off for when I had hangovers.

They may let us go at noon today, not that I'll get to leave. I have to stick around for a meeting this afternoon. That one meeting will be the only thing I do all week, and it's the one thing keeping me here into my Christmas break.

Stupid job.

That was a

2000-12-25T17:00:00-07:00

That was a great Christmas. I hope everyone else can say the same.

I got great presents this year, and what else is Christmas about, really? So, the weekend, from the top.

Friday, we did some Christmas shopping then we were going to go to a late movie. By the time we got to the theater, we were all tired and the movies didn't start for another half hour, so we left. We went back to my place, drank some beer, joked around, argued about abortion and morals, then Steph stole my pillow so I kicked her ass.

Saturday me and Steph were going to finish up our Christmas shopping. Unfortunately I suck at shopping and we didn't finish. I don't remember doing anything on Saturday night, so if I did, it must not have been to exciting.

Sunday I did finally finish up my shopping. The stores were remarkably uncrowded for Christmas Eve, which was nice because I hate customers. Every customer around this time is so pushy, and none of them walks correctly. They have no direction and walk very slowly. Walking slowly is fine, as long as you're not weaving all over the place, blocking the fast walkers. Ah, but I digress. I went to church on Christmas Eve, which we do every year.

Monday was Christmas of course. I went back to my parent's house to open presents and eat breakfast casserole and this weird juice stuff my mom makes every year. I gave my sister a huge Renoir print and a couple of CDs, my dad a drill, my mom a framed picture I had drawn that was one of her favorites. I got a lot of really cool stuff, my favorites being an old school Optimus Prime straight from 1984, still transformable with all his accessories. It's awesome. My other favorite was a membership to the Peoria Art Guild, which means I get free visits to the museum and discounts on the classes.

I'm going to have to take some classes. I've been feeling very artistically frustrated lately. People have to express themselves however they know how. I've been trying to write lately, and I'm just not good at it. I need to draw and paint, but don't have a lot of time or motivation to get it done. These classes will do me some good, I think. I'm going to stop by the art store tonight and get some paints and a new canvas. I don't have an idea for a new painting, but I really feel like I have to paint.

Anyhoo, that was a big weird sidetrack.

As is tradition now, I had people over to drink some beer and celebrate Christmas. Steph, Mullens, Angie and Anna all came over, we drank some beer and messed around and had a really good time. I'm not tired for some odd reason, but I have no idea why not. I really should be.

I went to sleep at around 1, but woke up at about 5 am to go to the bathroom. I went back to bed, eager to just fall asleep again, but couldn't. I laid there for more than an hour, trying my best not to think of anything or move around, because those were the 2 things I was sure would keep me awake. Well, I finally fell back asleep at about 6:45 then my alarm went off at 7. It wasn't a good sleep for me.

Tonight I'm going to watch Fight Club by myself, then fall asleep early. Some people will doubt that I'll be able to do this, but I'll show you. I'll show you all.

So I was

2000-12-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, I was really happy to get home last night. I was going to kick off my shoes, watch Fight Club, then go to sleep by 10. That was the plan, and the night I had been looking forward to for a long time, since I so rarely get enough sleep.

I got home and had 3 messages on my machine. One was from my sister, asking me to eat dinner at her house. I had just seen her on Christmas, so I felt no obligation to go over there again. I was going to call her, tell her how stupidly tired I was, and maybe get a pizza delivered or something. The others were both from Brice, my obsessive friend.

I called back Brice first, and was going to tell him I didn't want to go to dinner or drive him to work, because tonight was my 'alone-time'. He asked me what I was doing for dinner and as I prepared my answer he said '...because I think we should go eat at your sister's." This really confused me. Apparently he had talked to my cousin, who was also invited to my sister's, and she said she was going. So, Brice asked me if I would go and take him so he could talk to her. I really didn't want to go. I wanted to watch Fight Club.

This next part of the conversation pissed me off even more. Here it is, almost verbatim.

Tim "All right, fine, I'll go to dinner tonight but I'm NOT taking you to work."
Brice "Who's going to take me to work then?"
Tim "I don't know"
Brice "Oh."
Tim "All right, well, I'll pick you up in like 25 minutes then"
Brice"Wait, you're picking me up in 25 minutes?"
Tim "yeah....."
Brice "Is that when you're picking me up or you're ready to go?"
Tim "Well, I just said I was picking you up in 25 minutes"
Brice "Oh, well, I was wondering if you wanted to leave early and look at my new place."
Tim "No."
Brice"ha ha ha."
Tim "...."
Brice "Really?"
Tim "Nope. See ya in 25 minutes"
Brice "Dude, why are you so...."
Tim "Yeah, whatever, see ya in 25 minutes."

My god, he's just so "gimme gimme". Earlier in the day I had to borrow $4 from him to pay for lunch and he gave me a hard time about it, meanwhile I've been hauling his dumb ass everywhere every day. Stuff like this makes me mad. I was obviously doing him a favor by going and he just kept asking for more. Eventually I drew the line and he got pissed.

He was behaving himself nicely most of the night. He avoided talking about my cousin, which was good because he knows I hate that. The only other thing that pissed me off is when I asked him if he was ready to go, and he wanted to stay longer to talk to my cousin. He knew I wanted to get home and watch Fight Club and still he chose to talk to my cousin rather than half way accommodate the guy who went out of his way for him tonight. Or something. Whatever.

Anyway, I finally got home at about 8:30, and called Angie to bitch about Brice a little bit. Then I started Fight Club. The movie is really long, but I planned on watching the whole thing in one sitting. But, by 10:15 I was falling asleep so I was forced to turn it off and go to bed.

I slept like a baby. I didn't wake up at all in the course of the night, which never happens. I woke up more awake than I have in a long, long time. There's something to be said for this sleeping thing.

This entry is on time. Sort of.

2000-12-27T17:00:00-07:00

Well, a little late, but that's all right.

Last night was NOT buffalo wing night. I'm still pissed off about it. It's a tender subject.

While I was at work I got an email from my dad telling me my aunt and uncle were going to be in town. They're from Kansas and I see them once... maybe twice a year, so I felt obligated to go back to my parent's and eat dinner there. Afterwards, I went back to my place and cleaned a little, then watched Chicken Run. A few friends wanted to come over, but this was the closest thing I've had to a night off in a long time, so I told them to stay where they were.

Tonight I'm going to see my grandma. She's not in the best of health, and I don't see her often. They're worried she may not last too much longer, so I really have to see her. I also really want a night off. A night I can just go home and go to sleep. I guess Christmas is not a good time to want that.

I almost died in a blizzard.

2000-12-28T17:00:00-07:00

Well, not really. But it's snowing hard out there. I hate driving in the snow.

Last night I was supposed to go visit my Grandma, but the rest of my family left at 4 when I was still at work, to avoid the snow coming our way. By the time I got off there was a fresh layer of snow on the ground, not plowed at all. After the 15 miles back to my apartment, I decided I didn't want to drive the remaining 70 miles to my Grandma's house. I feel bad not seeing her on Christmas, but I hate driving in this weather and the only other people who could have driven me left before I was even off work.

Instead I went to see Brice's new apartment, met his roommate, then went bowling with Mullens, Steph, and Angie. I told my parents to let me know the next time they visit my Grandma, and I'll do anything I can to go with. I feel bad for missing it this time, but with my tendency to fall off the road in the winter I didn't want to risk it. I know my Grandma doesn't have a lot of time left, and I'd like to see her soon.

When I was 12, I skipped my other Grandma's birthday party to go to a school dance. She died a few weeks later, and I don't really remember the last time I spent any time with her. It was very unexpected. She wasn't in perfect health or anything, but no one expected her to die so soon. Still, I felt bad, and feel bad, that I missed that.

But on the other hand, if I had gone to my Grandma's birthday party I may have felt bad about missing the dance. You just never know.

I've now lost count.

2001-01-01T17:00:00-07:00

I love New Years like you wouldn't believe. I'll get to that part in a second, but first, the rest of my weekend.

Friday I got off work a little early on account of the weather. Instead of going straight home, I went to the DMV to finally get my license renewed. Now they won't look so closely at the birthday when they card me. Hopefully. After many, many failed attempts at finding someone to eat dinner with, I finally joined the ranks who would be going to dinner at around 10, after they went to see a movie. So, me, Steph, Angie, Tim C., and Brice all went to Castaway, which didn't suck, then out to eat.

Saturday I cleaned for the majority of the day. I had just learned that I was having a New Years party, so I wanted to make it pretty. Saturday night me, Mullens, Anna, Dave, and TJ went bowling. We tried to avoid TJ and Dave because they're pretty loud and obnoxious. We didn't succeed in that, though, so we only bowled one game before our tolerance ran out. By this point in the night we had met up with Steph and Molly, so I had people to distract me from TJ and Dave. After bowling we all (minus TJ and Dave) went back to my place and watched The Patriot until we all fell asleep. I kicked them out, then went to bed.

Sunday was the shit.

I had a little more cleaning to do, then me, Mullens, and Angie all ran the errands associated with throwing a party. We had to buy the alcohol and all the food. We went all out, buying huge bags of pizza rolls, frozen pizzas, bread sticks, chips, dips, you name it, we had it. Finding a keg was extremely difficult, but we managed to get that done too.

Me, Mullens, Angie and Anna made a very nice dinner. We had steak, chicken, corn, etc. etc. After that, the drinking began. People slowly started trickling in, and at the most we had maybe 15 or 20 people there, more than half of them I didn't know.

The night was relatively uneventful, until everyone started getting very affectionate near midnight. There was one girl there, Becky, who I had known since 2nd grade. She's a very pretty girl, but always talks about her breasts being too small. I always come back, saying they're fine. Well, we got into our little breast conversation when she confesses that the bra she was wearing was padded. Then she grabbed my hand and put it right on her boob and told me to feel it. I was petrified. I had no idea what to do, so I sat there like an idiot until she let me take my hand away. I mean, I had known her since grade school. Now my hand was on her boob. It was weird and awkward.

Anyhoo, at midnight everyone kissed each other. EVERYONE. That's what I meant by the subject. Before this point, I had kissed 5 girls and that was that. New Years Eve it at least doubled, I'm sure. I can't remember who I did and didn't kiss. I'm pretty sure I kissed all the girls that were there, with the exception of the girls that came with their boyfriends.

A little later in the night yet another girl jammed her tongue down my throat. That was really cool though. She was really cute, and I was kind of hitting on her, although not doing a very good job. Later in the night TJ and Dave were hitting on her and I guess she liked them more. Ah well, no big deal.

Pretty much everyone at the party slept at my apartment and the next morning they finished up the leftover pizza, watched a movie or 2, then left. I just sat around all day in my messed up apartment because I was too tired to clean or go out.

Yeah, so, that was my weekend. I'm going to raise that kiss tally to 13 girls, conservatively. Or maybe I should just go with 6 and ignore the pecks between friends. Or maybe I just shouldn't worry about it.

New Years Resolution

2001-01-01T17:00:00-07:00

I almost forgot to post this. This will be the way I keep on track, hopefully.

My New Years Resolution this year will be to make more memories. The life I'm living now is short lived, I'm starting to realize. When I'm settling down, starting a family, saving for retirement... whatever... I want to look back on these times as my best times. Little responsibilities... lots of friends, a great combination. I want to look back with no regrets. This is impossible, I know, but I would rather regret things I did than things I didn't do. So, this New Year I will not turn down invitations for things I have even a slight inclination to do. I'll be young and irresponsible for another year, enjoying every second and making sure to remember the good parts and forget the bad.

I figure this is my last entire year to act like that. I'm closing in on age 22 now. By 23, I want to be settling down. All my friends will be in their respective careers, and it will be time for me to not stay out late every night, not go to parties every weekend, and not make out with any girl who will make out with me. By 23, I want to be looking for a wife, saving for a house, and driving a brand new SS Camaro. By 23, the life I'm living now will be memories, so I want as many memories as I can before then.

My New Years resolutions from here on out will get me to the point in my life where I want to be.

This year, I would also like to have a girlfriend and lose a few pounds. That's it.

Everyone else reading this should post their resolutions in their journals, and while you're at it, let me know what they are too. Deal? Deal.

I got home

2001-01-02T17:00:00-07:00

I got home last night and cleaned up the mess my party had created. It was great fun.

At my New Years party, a guy showed up named Alan. He's a friend of a friend... we get along really well, but have never really hung out together. Well, at my party we were talking about apartments and moving out, and how we could both afford to live alone, but it would be nice to save a couple hundred bucks a month with a roommate. Well, I told him he could move in if he wanted. I meant it, but never thought he would take me up on it. He called last night asking when he could move in. I told him Saturday would be good. So, it looks like I'll be getting a roommate. It should be really cool... Alan is a good guy, and maybe he'll bring over some hot chicks for me. Plus we both make quite a bit and will be living really cheap, so we should be able to afford all sorts of cool toys.

Later in the evening Mullens and Angie came over, made dinner, then we watched Loser. I went to bed early.

I haven't drank beer since New Years.

weird dreams.

2001-01-02T17:00:00-07:00

I had 2 weird dreams that I remember really well, so I feel like I should type them.

The first one was at my parent's house, which wasn't really their house. Fuller, one of my more estranged friends, called me on the phone. He said something about no one understanding him, but I had the key. I was holding it in my hand. He said he had written everything I needed to know about him on the side of the phone. I looked at the phone but didn't see everything. He was mumbling something I didn't fully understand as I fumbled around, looking for the message. I was throwing drawers open and tossing things everywhere, looking for this message. Finally my dad brought me a big pile of about 15 phones and I looked at all of them until I found his message. It was some sort of nonsense about God and love and peace. I didn't fully understand it. I then put that phone to my ear and heard what Fuller was trying to say, but before he finished I hung up.

In my next one, Dave called. Dave has called me about 3 times in my life, and twice was so I could buy him beer. He was begging me to do something with him. I just remember him saying "Dude, I don't care what it is, as long as we do something together. C'mon, let's do something. We have to do something. Let's get together." I hung up on him, too.

I'm really tired.

2001-01-03T17:00:00-07:00

I'm really tired.

I got home last night, and Brice had left a message on my machine. He calls at like 3:30 everyday and just talks to my machine. Why would he do that? I don't get it. Anyway, he wanted to go out to dinner. I didn't really want to go out with him because we need some "away time" right now. He's annoying the piss out of me.

I tried to make other plans but everyone else was busy and Brice sounded like such a sad little man, so I agreed to go out with him. It was Wednesday, which means $3/lb. night at Garners for the first time in a long time. We met Steph and Molly there, had a good dinner and went on our way.

Me and Steph had discussed a plan to get out of further arrangements with Brice, but they didn't work. After dinner, Steph and Molly went home and me and Brice went to Best Buy to pick up some DVDs. I got The Way of the Gun, Predator, Pearl Jam Single Video Theory, Final Destination, and Fargo. Good movies.

Anyhoo, we get back to my place. KJ calls, asking if Megan left her coat at my place on New Years. She had, so they stopped by to pick it up. Brice had to leave at about 9:30, then Steph stopped by again at 10. We watched Final Destination, during which Brian and John came over. I drank a beer. I also drank a Mr. Pibb.

That was my night.

Tonight I have to go home. Again. I hate going home every single week. I really hate it. If I wanted to see my family all the time I wouldn't have moved out.

Good karma.

2001-01-04T17:00:00-07:00

Look at me. I saved my own life this morning. Allow me to explain.

My stupid car is a mess. I haven't ever washed the thing, ever. It's really dirty and salty and snowy and the windshield washer fluid container leaks, so I can never squirt off my windshield when I need to. When I park it, I usually take a handful of snow and drop it on my windshield, and that clears up a lot of the dirt and salt on there so I can see. Of course, a few miles down the road it looks horrible again. It's usually not a huge deal, where I'm afraid I'll crash or anything, but every once in a while the sky opens up and shines the brightest light on earth right on my windshield. The dirt and salt reflect the light directly into my eyeball, making it impossible for me to see anything, driving blind. That's just the preface to the story. Now here's the story.

I'm hopping in my car this morning and hear a revving engine and spinning tires. I look down about 2 parking lots and see a little Cavalier stuck in the snow. The girl behind the wheel is getting really flustered and looks on the verge of tears. I go down there, introduce myself a little and offer her a hand. Well, we get the car out in just a few minutes and I go on my way. I throw the handful of snow on my windshield and turn on my wipers. It clears off a lot of the nastiness, not all, but I figure it's good enough since I'll probably be late anyway.

I got on the interstate and was driving a little faster than usual because I was kind of late. I get out of Peoria and am heading up a big hill. Right then, the sky opened and blinded me. I slowed down a little and squinted a lot. I could make out the car in front of me, so I just planned on following him until the clouds covered the sun again. All of the sudden he slams on his brakes. I couldn't see his brake lights right away, so I ended up hitting the brakes even harder.

We stopped completely. Now, traffic jams in Peoria happen very rarely. I work outside of Peoria, and once I get through downtown they never happen, unless there's an accident. The traffic was stopped for as far as I could see, which wasn't very far, granted. A mile or 2 up the road we had to merge into one lane (amazingly hard to do if you can't see out of your windshield) and a mile or 2 later I see why I was stopped. There was a 5 or 6 car pile up. None of the cars had bumpers, and all of them were really smashed up.

At the time there was one cop car there, but as I sat, not moving, in traffic more and more passed me, and finally an ambulance.

I don't know how long before it had happened, but just think if I hadn't wasted 4 or 5 minutes pushing that girl out of her parking space. Kind of makes you wonder, eh?

I forgot to

2001-01-04T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to give you that great update of what I did last night. I know you all missed it, but fear not, because here it is.

I went back to my parent's house last night, as you know. We had homemade pizza, which was remarkably gross. I could have ordered it from Papa John's for $8.99 for a large and it would have been the best pizza on earth. Why would anyone make pizza when great, cheap pizza is so readily available? Ah, but I digress.

Dinner was okay. My parents and my sister talked about stupid stuff like they always do, completely excluding me from the conversation. I used my dad's computer to look for Jeeps on the internet, and after a while he came back and looked with me. We didn't find any exceptional deals, but I'm really looking forward to buying one.

I left at about 7:30 and went back to my place. I returned a couple of calls, one to my future roommate, letting him know everything was set for him to move it, except I have to make an extra key soon. Everyone was busy, tired, or sick, so I was just going to watch one of my new DVDs and go to sleep. But, Steph called and wanted to come watch one, and I wanted to have her come watch one, so I waited.

I went to sleep earlier than usual, but I'm still dead tired.

Tonight we're going to Damen's. I don't know what else we're doing, but I really want to see Dracula 2000.

My Camaro

2001-01-07T17:00:00-07:00

I love my car. I love her a lot. Her name is Cammy and she's the greatest car the world has ever seen. But, with my new apartment, bad parking, bad gas mileage, high insurance, and other reasons, I am forced to give her up.

It's a sad day.

She's for sale on Ebay to the highest bidder. Poor Cammy. If you think you can give my girl a loving home, I encourage you to buy her, and let me visit every once in a while.

Go buy my poor Camaro

Weekend update

2001-01-07T17:00:00-07:00

This weekend was pretty uneventful. I knew it would be when it started, so I can't say that I was too upset about it.

Friday night me, Steph, and Angie went to Damon's. I paid, as per usual. Afterwards we call came back to my apartment where Tim Callahan stopped by. We discussed erections and masturbation in depth. The girls had many questions which we were all too happy to answer. Girls do not understand the phenomenon of erections, let me tell you. They thought every time I guy had one, it meant he was aroused. That is way, way, way off. Most of the time they're annoying, not exciting. Ah, but I digress.

Saturday I helped Alan, my brand new roommate move in. He didn't have a lot of stuff, so with 4 people movie it took about 20 minutes to get everything jammed into his room. Afterwards he took us all out to dinner. Steph, Angie, and Molly were going to come over and I really wanted to either drink or go see Dracula 2000. We drank a little, but not nearly enough for my tastes. We talked even more about masturbation, pubic hair... interesting stuff. I'm so happy people feel comfortable enough coming out and telling me this crap. Molly and Angie left early, and me and Steph discussed my general discontent with my love life. Even though she totally disagreed with my stance on the subject, hopefully she understood and doesn't think worse of me because of it. She told me she'd be a little disappointed if I stretched my boundaries to see what else was out there, but sometimes you have to live for yourself and not worry about what others will think about it. I just need to see what else it out there for me, and I need to do something different. What I'm doing now isn't doing much for me.

Sunday I went to the art store and picked up some supplies. They changed the whole store around. It had been a while since I had been in there, and everything was changed. I picked up a canvas, huge drawing paper, some pastels, lead holder, graphite, acrylics, new brushes... I'm all set, hopefully. I started a new painting last night too. It had been a long time since I just sat down and painted. Or, I guess I stood up and painted.

It's one of the most personal paintings I've ever done. From my conversation on Saturday I was all in the mood to get over myself and change the direction my love life is going. The best way is to do that, I think, is to forget what has happened up to that point. Hopefully this painting will help me get there. There's 2 girls I have to get over completely before moving on, the first being Barb, who I still have some issues about. I dug through all my old notebooks from high school and found my Economics notebook from senior year. This was the notebook I would write notes to Barb in, then pass it up to her, and she'd write one back. They're very random and hard to make sense of, but I read some of what we had written to each other, for inspiration. They didn't help. Then I looked in the margins of the notebook, where I'd always sketch and doodle little weird things. These are always some of the most interesting drawings I do, but unfortunately don't translate well to anything outside a notebook. I figured I'd give it a shot anyway. I drew a weird collage of a whole bunch of these weird old drawings. Most of them are filled with hate and violence, which is incredibly appropriate. My favorite is a very child-like drawing of a woman looking very mean, complete with devil horns. She's standing there with a cut off head in her hand. There's a label that says "barb" and points to the woman. Kinda weird, huh? I have no idea what I was thinking when I drew that, but it was obviously strangely appropriate.

I got home

2001-01-08T17:00:00-07:00

I got home yesterday and had a message from Fabish on my answering machine. That never happens. He's not the calling type, you see. He likes to be called. Anyway, he was inviting me to dinner, so I couldn't say no. We went to a Mexican restaurant where we talked about his future wife, my lack of a future wife, and the plans to move in together. Afterwards we were just going to go back to my place, drink some beer, watch a movie, something boring like that. But as we were heading back, we saw Steph getting off the interstate. I sped up and passed her while honking and flashing my lights like an idiot. She looked really freaked out.

She followed us back to my place and invited us to a movie. They were going to see Family Man, which I really wanted to see. Fabish hates Nicholas Cage with a passion, so he decided against going. I felt bad just dropping Fabish off, so I told him I'd go see a different movie with him, and we'd meet the rest of the group afterwards.

So, me, Fabish, and Steph saw Vertical Limit while Angie, Marissa, and Marie saw Family Man. That worked out nicely. After the movie we stood around in the lobby like idiots for 15 minutes trying to decide what we were doing next, when finally we all just decided to go to our respective houses.

Then I went home, painted a few hours, and went to sleep.

I had a weird dream last night though. Now, for those of you not in-the-know, Fabish and Steph used to date. Fabish has done a slightly better job of moving on than Steph has, although she's made leaps and bounds lately. So, in this dream Fabish was marrying his future wife, Christina. I was throwing a party for him, since I throw parties for everyone these days. I was his best man. During the services, I couldn't take my eyes off Steph, who looked like she was about to cry. Then there was the party where much drinking followed. Fabish and Christina excused themselves and Steph started crying her eyes out. I tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't let me. She stood up and I stood up to give her a hug. I opened my arms, and she hit me square in the stomach and ran away. Angie called me a jerk and ran after her.

I have no idea what any of this means.

I didn't do anything last night.

2001-01-09T17:00:00-07:00

Well, that's not true. I painted a little and talked to my dad about Jeeps, then talked to Angie about our plans for tonight. Exciting stuff, I tell ya. Then I watched Predator.

So, this is Steph's last night in town. She goes back to Colorado tomorrow while I'm still at work, so this will be the last time I see her in months. I miss her already. She's one of the few friends I have that I can always rely on for advice, and honesty rather than just telling me what I want to hear. I'll miss that, even though I've gotten pretty used to it not being here.

Mullens moved to Eureka, which is a small town about 45 minutes outside of Peoria to go to school. It's not Colorado, but it's also far enough away that I won't be able to see him as often as I have been. I don't know whether that's good or bad. My friends are dropping like flies.

With Christmas break ending, all my other friends will be back in school, studying and stuff. Pretty soon, I will not have a social life.

Last night was

2001-01-10T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was both $3/lb. night at Garners and Steph's last night in town. We ate at Garner's, since it was a special occasion. It was Fabish, KJ, me, Mullens, Tim C., Molly, Steph, and Angie. We ate a lot.

I didn't do much after that. I talked to my dad about selling the Camaro. We keep getting emails about it, asking questions about my "Camero". I tell my dad to respond "If you can't spell Camaro, you're not buying mine" but he thought that would be rude. I don't really care.

I talked to Jill/Julie a little bit, and the select few of you on my friends list can see what was said. I'm sure it made me look even more pathetic. I don't care about that either.

I finished watching Predator and went to sleep. It was an exciting night. Tonight I'm eating dinner with my family again. Yee haw.

The return of Jill/Julie

2001-01-10T17:00:00-07:00

This is a conversation I had last night with Jill/Julie, otherwise known as Missy.

wassZ28: hey
Misdemeanor81: hey
wassZ28: what;s up?
Misdemeanor81: long time no talk
wassZ28: yep. what's new?
Misdemeanor81: not much...how were the holidays for you?
wassZ28: pretty uneventful. they were good though.
wassZ28: yours?
Misdemeanor81: the same....but not too bad
Misdemeanor81: did you get anything good for christmas
wassZ28: i got a membership to the peoria art guild and an optimus prime transformer. those were the best
presents. i also got a lot of clothes.
wassZ28: how did you make out?
Misdemeanor81: not too bad..i got this kick-ass coat that i really like
Misdemeanor81: and some other stuff
Misdemeanor81: my sister got a DVD player
wassZ28: i bought myself a coat, because my old one sucks.
Misdemeanor81: i'm sure you have all the girls panting
wassZ28: yeah, but that's old news.
Misdemeanor81: so i haven't called you b/c i thought you were mad at me
wassZ28: why would i be mad?
Misdemeanor81: i dunno b/c i didn't come to your party
Misdemeanor81: and then i didn't hear from you so i thought you were mad
wassZ28: you didn't hear from me because it was you who broke the plans. i'm not going to keep calling if you never accept and follow through. at some point it's your responsibility to call me. i was just waiting around.
Misdemeanor81: so you were mad?
wassZ28: how can i be mad at someone i don't talk to? i wish you would have called me, yeah. i wish you would have made more of an effort to meet steph. you know that was important to me.
Misdemeanor81: kate was here for like 2 weeks and when she's here i don't talk to anyone
Misdemeanor81: plus i seriously have been working a lot
Misdemeanor81: not that you need excuses but i'm going to give them to you anyway
wassZ28: i'm not asking for excuses. whatever your priorities are, that's fine. i'm not saying they're wrong,
but that's exactly why i don't call. if i'm never the priority, i'll wait til you schedule me in. just don't be too surprised if i'm not here when you're ready for me.
Misdemeanor81: you sound like you're mad
wassZ28: i'm really not mad though. seriously.
Misdemeanor81: truthfully i just figured you'd be mad so i didn't call...not really wanting to deal with it
wassZ28: i'm not mad. i understand why you don't want to call. i won't call you because i know you don't really want to do anything with me. the only thing i can do without being annoying is sit here and wait. that's what i've been doing.
wassZ28: you know the only thing that makes me mad is avoiding me.
Misdemeanor81: well, humph
Misdemeanor81: i don't really know what do about this
wassZ28: i just told you what we're doing. i'm waiting. you're either calling or not calling. whatever.
Misdemeanor81: well i'm sorry
wassZ28: you don't have anything to be sorry about.
Misdemeanor81: i always feel like i should be sorry about something
wassZ28: well, that's you. i could send you on a guilt trip if i wanted, but that would just get you upset. i
don't want you to NOT call, but i also don't want a pity call.
Misdemeanor81: i guess i just feel that nothing is ever simple between us...at least not for long....you're
obviously not pleased with the fact that i didn't call you...so now i feel like things aren't all right
wassZ28: missy, i'm trying my best to make this as simple and easy as possible. i'm nothing but apathetic about the situation. i'm not upset. you call me when you want to hang out. until then, we won't be hanging out. that's very easy.
Misdemeanor81: k
wassZ28: that's it?
Misdemeanor81: did you want me say more?
wassZ28: is that all you wanted to say?
Misdemeanor81: i wasn't planning on saying more
wassZ28: okay. well, i'm leaving. see ya later.
Misdemeanor81: i seem to talk myself into a corner when we have the
Misdemeanor81: whoa
Misdemeanor81: whoa
Misdemeanor81: hold on
wassZ28: okay..
Misdemeanor81: i thought you wanted to know if i was going to say more about that conv.
Misdemeanor81: i don't have anything else to say about that particular topic
wassZ28: you said you weren't planning on it. i don't want to force you to say things.
Misdemeanor81: we can still talk if you'd like
Misdemeanor81: i thought you were talking about that topic
wassZ28: what would you like to talk about?
Misdemeanor81: why don't you pick, since i picked the last topic?
Misdemeanor81: regretfully, i might add
wassZ28: no, actually i'm going to take off.
Misdemeanor81: why?
wassZ28: because i don't think we have a lot to say to eachother after that. now i feel like you're talking to
me because you have a responsibility too. that's not a good feeling.
Misdemeanor81: okay whatever....i actually wanted to talk to you....but if you'd like to leave, feel free...i
don't want to force you talk to me now
wassZ28: this isn't a guilt trip, although i'm sure you'll think it is, but if you actually wanted to talk to
me you would have sent me a message just now or called me sometime during your break.
Misdemeanor81: i was reading my email and wasn't looking at my buddy list...and despite what you might think, that's not a lie
Misdemeanor81: i've already why i didn't call you
wassZ28: okay, so if you want to do the talking, choose a topic.

We make some small talk after that, but it was all very cheeseball. She asked what I was doing this weekend and wanted to know if I wanted to rent a movie or something. I told her I may have plans but didn't know what they were. She wasn't pleased by my answer. I don't know why she expects me to keep going out of my way for her when she's done nothing but shit on me. Ah well.

I needs me some inspiration.

2001-01-11T17:00:00-07:00

I need to be artistic. I need some inspiration.

Leave me some inspiring comments.

Last night was

2001-01-11T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was incredibly exciting and eventful.

I went to eat dinner at my sister's, which I prefer to eating at my parent's. She lives a lot closer and doesn't make crappy food.

Afterwards I didn't do much... called a few friends, chatted online. I decided I would stay up later than usual last night, since maybe this constant tiredness was caused by too much sleep. I went to bed at about 11:45. I woke up more tired than I have ever been in my life. But, I feel fine now. Wide awake. Strange.

It's the weekend, but I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to paint and watch a movie or something.

Look at me

2001-01-13T17:00:00-07:00

Look at me, breaking tradition for the 2nd time in my LJ history and posting on a weekend. Wow.

First of all, the auction on my Camaro ended at a measly $5,100. I told you LJers out there to bid, but oh no... couldn't do that, could we? Cammy is worth so much more then $5,100. You people don't deserve her anyway.

So anyway, Friday night I went out to dinner with Fabish and KJ. Afterwards we rented a couple of stupid guy movies (Road Trip and Me, Myself, and Irene), and watched them while drinking beer. It was pretty fun. We were trying to keep Fabish in good spirits, since he's been down and out for a while. We just laughed and talked and goofed around in the same way we've done since we were 12. Me and Fabish really don't have a lot in common but when we get together, something just clicks. I guess growing up together since he was born made us really tight, no matter how different we are. It was good to joke around with him again, since I hadn't done it in a while.

Saturday me and Alan had some people over. I guess you could call it a party, but it was pretty weak. It was mostly Alan's party, but a few of my friends stopped by too. Mullens stopped by pretty late in the night, and he was the drunkest man on earth when he got there. Then he drank 5 more beers in about 10 minutes. The highlight of the night was when Mullens put on his leather coat, flipped up the collar, and went around the room doing the Fonzie "eeehhhhh" to everyone. Good stuff.

As you all know, Jill/Julie told me she was interested in hanging out with me this weekend. That was good as far as I was concerned. It had been a few months now, and I wouldn't say I was missing her, but I definitely wouldn't mind seeing her again. I let her know I wouldn't go out of my way to see her, since she's made it pretty evident that she doesn't want me too. Still, though, if she made the effort, I would go along with it.

Well, she called me on Saturday night right as the party was starting, and made a whole bunch of excuses as to why she wouldn't show up that night. I know this shouldn't surprise me, and it doesn't. I know this shouldn't upset me, but it does. I went so far out of my way for this girl on so many different occassions, and now it's like I'm not even treated like a person by her anymore. Why I wasted years of my life investing in a relationship with her, I will never know.

For all you people out there wondering, no one shoved their tongue down my throat at my party. No one slept in my bed, but a girl did sleep in the spare bed in my room. That was the extent of my action on Saturday.

Oh, and Mullens licked my face, dry humped me, grabbed my crotch, and stroked my hair. But he doesn't count.

I did a

2001-01-14T17:00:00-07:00

I did a search for my name on google and a surprising number of links are actually about or referring to me. Weird, huh? There's webpages out there I forgot making, and links to my page I didn't know existed.

Strange....

I just updated my picture.

2001-01-14T17:00:00-07:00

Feel free to leave me comments about how dead sexy I am.

Well since one

2001-01-14T17:00:00-07:00

Well, since one of you insisted that I update my journal over the weekend, I now have nothing to post. So, taking a cue from one of this girl, I am playing 20 questions. Here we go.

1- What's the last movie you saw?

"The Way of the Gun". It was okay. I like movies with a lot of violence and not a lot of plot.

2- When is the last time you hurt yourself?

I'm such an idiot. You know those little plastic table looking things that put in pizza when they're delivered to stop the box from smashing it? I was lighting one of those on fire for some reason, and a piece of flaming plastic dropped onto my hand it burned it. I'm such an idiot. I should stop lighting things on fire.

3- When is the last time you hurt someone else?

I was wrestling with Steph and bruised her arm. I still haven't heard the last of that one. I was involved in bruising another girl's arm, but being as I wasn't there, I don't hold myself accountable. You know who you are.

4- What are you most proud of?

My self-sufficiency, if that's a word.

5- How many children do you want to have?

2... one of each.

6- In what way are you warped?

None. I'm perfect.

7- What do you refuse to admit to someone, face to face?

The hardest thing for me to admit is if I liked them. I'm like a grade schooler in that sense. Anything else I'll just come right out and say.

8- If you were on Three's Company, who would you be?

John Ritter of course. The only guy.

9- What's your favorite life saver flavor?

Red.

10- Did you ever have a favorite Spice Girl?

They all sucked, but Posh was the hottest.

11- Have you ever done a strip tease?

Nope. I've watched a few though.

12- What's harder for you--giving your heart, or baring your ass?

Giving my heart. I show my ass whenever possible.

13- Have you ever used a magnifying glass to set ants on fire?

Hell yes. And leaves, too. I was a stupid little kid.

14- Have you ever taken a pregnancy test?

Yeah. I'm pregnant.

15- Fudge--with nuts or without?

Without. I'm not going to make any nut jokes either.

16- In bed, are you a moaner, a groaner, a screamer, a quiet but moving force, or a "dead fish?"

uh... none of them I guess.

17- What 3 words do you think outsiders would use to describe you?

Why don't some of you outsiders tell me?

18- When is the last time you dressed up even though you weren't going anywhere?

I don't think I've dressed up at all since high school. I enjoy looking like shit.

19- What scares you?

Stuff. And things.

20- What's the last "handyman" stuff you've done?

I tried to fix my phone jacks. It didn't work. I fixed one of my kitchen chairs. That's about it.

This update is early.

2001-01-15T17:00:00-07:00

It will also be lame, since I don't have much to report.

I went out to dinner with Mullens and Angie, to a really good Italian place I didn't even know existed. It was in a strip mall that I also didn't know existed, shoved behind some big old ugly buildings. It was very good. After that I ran to Best Buy and picked up a few DVDs, then to a few dealerships to look at Jeeps. Then I came home. Then I did nothing.

Well, that's not exactly true, but one of you knows what I'm talking about when I say "nothing" is an exaggeration.

I wanted to get some painting done last night, but didn't. I will tonight though. I will also go to bed at 11 or after, since I have been doing that lately and have been more awake that usual.

I may even have time to watch the Exorcist.

I knew I wouldn't have a social life.

2001-01-16T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, I called it. I no longer have a social life. I'll have to think of something else to post here.

Last night I bought The Texas Chain Saw Massacre on DVD and watched that. Then I messed around online briefly, then I went to sleep. It was an exciting night.

Last night was Wednesday.

2001-01-17T17:00:00-07:00

Which means that it was $3/lb. wing night at Garner's. I went with Fabish and KJ. We both ordered a pound of wings and a soda. Their "pound" of wings was about twice the size of my "pound". How do you think that works? Ah, but I digress.

After the wings, I went straight home, and started painting, which I've been promising myself I would do for quite a while now. Angie called and interrupted briefly, with a story about how she rear ended a school bus. This story struck me as very, very funny, but she wasn't as amused. She hit the bus going maybe 5 mph, but I guess there's a lot of hoopla involved when a school bus gets in an accident. She said there were tons of cop cars and ambulances there in a matter of minutes. Luckily no one got hurt, but her car was stuck under the bus. It messed up her hood more than anything.

I took a brief break from painting to watch Temptation Island. This will be like another Big Brother, I can feel it coming. A show I'm not particularly entertained by or care about, but I will watch every single week. I will also never admit this fact to my friends, because they made fun of me enough for Big Brother.

My painting was incredibly productive. Alan came home at about 11 and I wondered why he was home so early. I turn my clocks around when I paint so I can't see the time. I thought it was about 9:30. Time goes very fast when you're doing something like that. Since 11 is way past my bedtime, I packed up my paints and went to sleep.

This morning I'm terribly tired.

I got home

2001-01-18T17:00:00-07:00

I got home last night and listened to my answering machine. I had one message from Brice. It said something like "Yeah, I was just wondering.. if you're gonna be in this part of town tonight, I was wondering if you could drop off my CDs and DVDs I loaned you. Thanks." I thought this was a weird message, as if we were breaking up or something. It had been a while since I'd hung out with Brice, so my tolerance level was back up to an acceptable point. I invited him to East Peoria to see if I could find the "Auto Mall". Unfortunately I try to avoid East Peoria like the plague and I had no idea where the Auto Mall was. So, we drove around for quite a while before giving up.

I feel so bad for the kid. I don't really feel especially comfortable in posting what he told me for the whole world to see, but the poor guy is in a world of hurt and doesn't know how to get out of it. I kept saying the wrong things, and I know my jokes made him feel worse. He just felt so sorry for himself, and I hate it when people do that. Finally I broke down and started yelling at him. I just told him to snap out of it, and that he DID have friends, but he just annoyed the shit of them. Just because someone is your friend doesn't mean you have to see them every single day. I don't see my friends every single day, and they don't see me. Brice just doesn't ever leave you alone, so people get sick of him. My tolerance level for the kid is really high, and I'm pretty far over the edge right now.

Anyway.

So, me and Brice drove around East Peoria for a good 45 minutes to no avail, gave up, and ate at KFC. It was gross. I went home and started painting. I got a lot accomplished, actually. Dave called at about 9:30 asking if he could come over. I said he could, but probably should have said no. It distracted me enough that I got out of my mode, and dropped my paintbrush, full of paint, right onto one of the finished sections of the painting. To make matters worse, it was black paint. To make them even more worse, I dropped it right onto the only light section of the painting, that contained mostly yellows, light oranges, and white. It will take many many layers to correct.

Damn it.

Well, he basically just wanted me to buy him beer, which I did. Then he went on his way. And then I ate some Smarties and went to sleep. And that was my night.

And now I have a new anonymous person posting comments in my journal about Pearl Jam. I think we need more of that.

Oh yeah.

2001-01-18T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot something important.

Barb has been emailing me every day, asking me if I would like to get together with her. Well, I'm not particularly interested in doing anything with her. We left each other on bad terms, so why would I want to go back to that?

Well, last night I had a change of heart.

I've never had a serious relationship with a girl. And yet, I still have a lot of baggage. That's pretty scary to me. The 2 girls I've ever liked as more than friends, I now hate and want nothing to do with. I don't like that feeling at all. I just have a lot of bitterness and anger that comes when I think of these girls, and I don't want that anymore.

So, I decided that I will go out with Barb a week from yesterday. We'll eat dinner, catch up on what's going on in our lives, and as we're calling her a night I'll explain to her that I don't really ever want to hang out with her again. I just want to leave on good terms, finally. I don't want to have to avoid her when I see her in the mall, but I also don't want her being part of my life again. We can find that happy medium I think.

I plan on having the same talk with Jill/Julie.

I don't know how they'll like hearing this. They probably won't like it much at all. Hopefully they'll respect it, at least. I know Jill/Julie will, since she doesn't really want to hang out with me anyway. I'll probably have to force her to go out to dinner with me.

This weekend was

2001-01-21T17:00:00-07:00

This weekend was non-stop action and adventure.

Friday night I went home for about 20 minutes before going to Fabish's to meet everyone for Tim Callahan's 21st birthday dinner. We all meet and head out to the restaurant. There was about 8 guys, and we all just goofed around, drank beer, and were general jack asses in public. Afterwards we went back to Fabish's apartment, drank more beer, and watched VH1. At about 9:30 it was time to meet more guys at a local bar, and then it was time to head to the downtown bars.

So, first we go to Gorman's, which is right next to where everyone lives. It's a bar, but they're very tolerant of fake IDs, so there's quite a few under age people there, and most of the people I was with were underage.

At about 11:30, those of us old enough were going to head downtown. There weren't many of us old enough, so most of them stayed at Gorman's. We hit Jimmy's, then Gilligan's. At Gilligan's I impressed everyone by rapping with House of Pain and Eminem.

Afterwards some of us went down to Big Al's, which is the strip club. It was me and 3 other guys, 2 of which had just turned 21 and were horribly drunk. Me and the other guy were almost sober, so we weren't having as great a time as they were, despite having naked women dancing around us. It was still a lot of fun.

Come 4:30 it was time to go home. A designated driver from the other group came to pick us up, because somewhere along the line we had lost our other driver. We wandered around looking for his car, since he hadn't driven it down there, and finally found it. One of the guys was going to puke... I could see it coming. I was trying to get him to puke while we were walking around finding the car. The guy could barely stand up and one of my friends had to drag him along. He wouldn't puke. Finally we find the car and start driving home. I looked over at him, and I could tell he was trying not to vomit all over the car. Thankfully, by the time they got to my place, he still hadn't puked. I talked to one of my other friends in the car the next day, and apparently he made it about 2 blocks before puking all over the car after I got out.

I went to bad at around 4:45, and at 9:30 the next morning I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I laid there for 2 hours before giving up and facing the day. I wanted to look at Jeeps that day, so I got ready and went out to my car. As I walked out of my apartment I had a "Dude, where's my car?" moment. I just stood there with my keys in my hand but my car was nowhere in sight. I knew I hadn't driven it downtown... Finally I realized I had driven it to Fabish's before dinner the night before. I had to walk over to Fabish's, then go pick up Angie, then go to all the dealerships.

Every single car salesman assumed we were married. At first we explained to them we were just friends, but after 3 dealers, just gave up. We were engaged for the day. It was funny to listen to the salesmen say things like "The seat goes forward, so your kids can get in and out easily."

We found a few good deals, and today at lunch I'll make them an offer on one of them.

After the car hunt, we ate dinner at Avanti's, then saw Sam Raimi's "The Gift", which was great. Angie made me go to Brimfield's Homecoming. I won't get into how much I hate Brimfield and why, but let's just say I wasn't pleased about going. I tried not to complain much, but it was very, very hard not to. It sucked.

By 10:30 I was ready to go to sleep. I hadn't slept much the night before and was just dead tired. My roommate was having people over to drink and watch movies, but I wasn't up for it. I went to sleep early.

Sunday me and my dad hit a few more dealerships looking for Jeeps without being annoyed by salesmen. Angie and her roommate Marissa made me dinner and we watched Simpsons before I finally went home.

I was still pretty tired and wanted to get to bed semi-early. At about 10:30 I went to sleep and about 11 a party started right above me. I tried to ignore it, but couldn't. I slept in my gameroom on my loveseat until 4 am. It sucked and now my back is killing me. I couldn't get to sleep again after that, and laid there for a long time doing nothing. I thought about drinking myself to sleep. That's how tired I was.

So, now I'm tired and my back is killing me. And I'm at work. With stuff to do today. And it sucks. And I'm buying a Jeep today.

And that was my weekend.

Oh I also

2001-01-22T17:00:00-07:00

Oh, I also had this really weird dream last night.

It seemed like I was at a concert. I was hanging out with Carson Daly, Kid Rock, and the late Joe C. There was one group attacking another group, and the group that was being attacked was building a wall rather than fighting back. As the people attacked, the more passive group just started building faster and faster, until they had completely surrounded themselves by this wall, and the more aggressive group left. with nothing else to watch, I left the room.

I went into an attached room in which people were preparing for a play. I looked up to the stage and saw Missy. She was wearing black lipstick, and it was obvious she was in the play I was about to watch. She came over and we made small talk. I saw some friends walk in. I didn't know these people, but knew they were friends of mine. I was ashamed to be talking to her, so I tried to leave but she wouldn't let me. Finally the play was starting, so I wished her good luck and sat down.

As she walked out on to the stage, she tripped, and I found that very funny. I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone in the audience staring at me, and I kept laughing more and more. Finally Missy got me to shut up, asking me why I was mad. I explained to her that I was never mad at her, until she asked why I was mad. I threw something at her and stormed out.

I walked back into the big arena where the fighting had been going on. The more passive group was now ripping down the walls they had just built because the aggressors were gone. They were carrying on and having a good time, but they stopped when they realized I was watching them. As I left the room to go outside, I saw the aggressive group running back in.

Then I woke up to, you guessed it, a Kid Rock song on the radio. Weird, no?

Random events in a random life.

2001-01-22T17:00:00-07:00

My life right now is this big long weird blur of stuff to do, which I never have enough time for.

So, last night I had made plans to eat dinner with Mullens, but then remembered I had to go help my aunt with her computer. I called Mullens from my aunt's place, explained the situation, told him to wait at Angie's, and I'd call him from home when I finished up. I finish at my aunt's place and go home. I call Mullens, who tells me he picked up everything we needed to make dinner, but just remembered he had a group project, so he was just going to drop it off, then he had to go home.

I didn't want to make and eat dinner by myself, so I called Angie, asking if she'd like to join me. She said Mullens was lying, and just didn't want to eat with me and her because they had a fight. That was pretty shady. Still, somehow, everything worked out and we all had a nice dinner, followed by watching The Princess Bride.

Now, here's the blur.

I'm selling my Camaro. Not only that, but I'm buying a Jeep. I didn't intend on doing these at the same time, though. Here's where things get sticky.

I will not sell Cammy locally. I refuse. It would kill me to see her around town, with another driver behind the wheel. I couldn't do it. Not only that, but if I drove around town with a "For Sale" sign in the back, or parked it in a parking lot, I'd get a bunch of calls from punk 16 year olds asking how fast it is. I won't sell it to them. I figured eBay would be my best bet, since anyone buying from eBay would REALLY want a Z28 like Cammy. Well, I have a guy in Ohio interested. He has a 1st, 2nd, and 4th generation Camaro and is looking for a really nice 3rd generation to complete his collection. I really want to sell Cammy to this guy, and even lowered my cost for him alone.

He was supposed to come last Sunday to pick Cammy up, but he cancelled. He said he may not make it for another couple of weeks, so I kept looking for a Jeep.

I found a great one about 200 miles away. Now I need to find a time to drive up and get it.

None of my friends can come with me. They're all busy with their classes that are starting now. My dad can't go on Wednesday, which is the day I'd really like to go. We can't go on the weekend, because that's when the guy from Ohio is coming to pick up the Camaro.

Ah, but this is all not a big deal so far. Except that now we also have to get a day this week to clean the car up. We need to put the fog lamps back on, change the oil, and take out my CD player.

So, we're doing that Thursday. I have plans on Friday. I'm probably going to have to wake up really early on Saturday so I can meet the new owner of my car. If I don't approve, I will not be selling the car. I'm very serious about this.

Which leaves the only day to go pick up my Jeep today. I'm leaving work at noon, going to meet my dad at the bank, get a loan, drive to Rockford, buy the Jeep, and drive it back.

Tomorrow I'm eating hot wings, Thursday I'm finishing up Cammy, Friday a small road trip, Saturday selling Cammy, and Sunday, crying about selling Cammy. It will be a busy week.

I got my Jeep.

2001-01-23T17:00:00-07:00

I got my Jeep. It's a '97 Wrangler Sahara, the top of the line.

I made the decision and everything involved with it in a matter of a few hours. It was a nutty morning yesterday. I was on the phone to Rockford, my dad, my bank, everything. Finally I got everything worked out in the nick of time, and ran up to Rockford. I picked up my beautiful, beautiful Jeep. It's not yellow, unfortunately, but it's black, which is my 2nd favorite color on Jeeps.

So, I got the Jeep back to Peoria at a little after 10. I went over to Angie's to show it to her, but she wasn't there. Instead I talked to Laura for a while, which was good.

I went home and went to sleep. There was another party right above my bedroom, again, but I was tired enough to sleep through this one. I would wake up briefly when something really loud happened, but then just go right back to sleep.

I had to break my plans with Barb on Thursday, since that day will be spent cleaning up the Camaro for her sale on Saturday. Poor Cammy.

I got my cell phone back last night.

2001-01-24T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I had 2 cars in Peoria. My old Graytona and my new Jeep. I had to deliver my Graytona back to my parents, but getting back to my place wasn't figured out yet. Luckily, I'm a genius and figured this whole thing out.

Fabish bought a car from my dad, who seems to be selling all my friends cars now. It was still at my parent's house. So, I was going to drive me and Fabish out to my parent's, leave the Graytona, pick up the Rustang, and go back home. Done and done.

While out at my house, we decide to stop by Fabish's parent's house for some food. We eat some shrimp (even though we could have gotten wings from Garner's for $3/lb.) and peas and a potato.

I went back to my place and checked my machine. I had a message from Amanda.

Now, you may remember Amanda from that nurses party I had at my place for Angie. She was the one who kept jamming her tongue in my mouth and tried to sleep with me. Anyway, since that party, my cell phone has been missing. I don't really want to get into the big long story of what I had to do to track it down, but it doesn't matter anyway. She was the one who took it.

Her roommates tell me that when she drinks, she totally blacks out and doesn't remember anything. I think she saw my cell phone on the counter and took it, thinking it was hers. She made 2 phone calls, totaling $0.48, then kept the phone for more than a month. Then she drove it back to me and dropped it off. Hardly anything a criminal would do.

Plus she was wearing glasses when she dropped it off, and looked very cute. I thought about inviting her in again.

Later Mullens and Angie came over, and we watched Temptation Island, drank beer, ate pizza, then when Alan came home, I left and he entertained them til they left. Whenever that was.

Tonight was supposed to be the night I went out with Barb. Instead, I will be cleaning out my Camaro and getting her ready to sell. If I get done early enough, I'll be going to see What Women Want with Angie, who has been wanting to see that movie forever now. And that's it.

Welcome Chicagogirl.

2001-01-24T17:00:00-07:00

Chicagogirl is the latest person to add me to their friend's list without even telling me. For shame, Chicagogirl.

I would go ahead and post a comment, but unfortunately it's all guys hitting on her, and I'm not really wanting to be a part of that whole scene. So, Chicagogirl, if you're reading this, here's your greeting.

You can see her journal, and the drooling boys, right here.

And anyone else adding me to their friend's list, let me know, okay?

Forgot to mention...

2001-01-25T17:00:00-07:00

Peoria is having a damn blizzard right now. The roads are horrible since I'm pretty sure Peoria doesn't own any snow plows or anything. Cammy would not have made it to work this morning. My Jeep, however, made it just fine. I slapped it into 4 wheel drive and made my way in without a hitch. Go Jeep.

It made me feel a little better about giving Cammy up.

I feel like

2001-01-25T17:00:00-07:00

I feel like shit now.

I've been pushing Barb away, because I don't really want anything to do with her anymore. I'm not interested in being her friend. I finally caved and told her I would go out with her. This was to do nothing more than "break up", sort of, with her. I was going to go out with her and have a good time one last time before never seeing her again.

Today I found out that her dad died. Me and Barb have had our differences, but this isn't something I would wish upon anyone.

I visited Barb during my lunch hour today to make sure she was okay.

I can't imagine what it's like to lose a family that close to you. And yet, I know a lot of people who have gone through it.

Chris Creamer, who I used to be good friends with. His mom died earlier this year, and he went a little nuts. He stopped talking to everyone who tried to help him through it.

Brian Kelly, who I still hang out with on some occassions. He handled it better than I thought was possible, and will talk about it openly to anyone who asks. When his dad got remarried, it didn't bother him at all.

Josh Fuller, who I also still hang out with. His mom died of cancer during our senior year of high school. He didn't take it too well, and it still upsets him to think about it. His situation is quite a bit different though.

John Zarr, whose sister died a year and a half ago in a car accident. He proved to be a lot stronger than I thought he could ever be. I was a good friend to Jill, but wasn't nearly as close to her as John was.

And now Barb. I only met her dad twice. He wasn't too fond of me, but a nice guy underneath all the gruff.

To all you people who will never read this, I admire you and your courage in getting through those times. I don't know how I would react. You all earned a lot more respect in my mind in being able to deal with this stuff.

Last night sucked.

2001-01-25T17:00:00-07:00

I went back to my parent's house after work to pick up my Camaro. We drove it back into Peoria. My dad has a friend who owns a car lot, so he had a heated garage that we were going to use to take care of everything wrong with Cammy, and clean her up a little to get her ready for her big day on Saturday.

I spent a few hours taking out all the junk I left in there, replacing my CD player with the stock cassette, cleaning the nooks and crannies with toothpicks... things that happen when a car has been sitting in storage for 4 months.

As I was cleaning, it finally hit me. This is the last time I will be cleaning my beautiful Camaro.

Now, you have to understand how much I love this car. It's called a 3rd generation Camaro, and that generation started when I was 2 years old. I remember when I was a kid, looking out the window and seeing a Camaro or IROC and wanting one really badly. 10 years later, I got my wish.

Not only that, but it made working on cars fun. It was something I could do with my dad. Sure, I've fixed cars with him before, but I always hated doing it and would do a crappy job, just to get it done quickly, spending as little money as possible. Cammy was different.

I used to drive her around, and people would taunt me to race. It felt good to kick their ass, but it felt even better to look over at them and laugh, because they even thought they were competition. People at gas stations and car washes would ask me questions about it, and other Camaro drivers would nod as I went by. I'll miss that. A lot.

As we were finishing, I was going to drive by the car wash and spray her off one last time. I was applying the spot free rinse or whatever it's called when it finally hit me. Cammy will be gone tomorrow. Gone to Ohio.

So, it wasn't a happy night for me.

I'll miss you Cammy. Have fun with your new owner.

Friday night.

2001-01-28T17:00:00-07:00

Okay. This post will be pretty ambiguous, just to warn you. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

So, here's the deal. I've gotten pretty close to this girl I met on the internet. This is pretty weird for me. I've never been one to let things like that happen. I'm too rational for my own good sometimes, and I realize that whoever I'm talking to on the internet isn't a real person, really. There's too much room for interpretation, and idealization, stuff like that. I could form her into however I wanted her to be, ya know? So, I never really chatted with people I don't know in real life, and when I did, it was relatively boring, and never consistently with the same person.

Well, this girl was different enough that I made the trek to meet her. We, or at least I, had a really good time. But, at the same time, I know it's weird that I 'met' her on the internet. It's completely weird, and completely not me. There's a couple of saving factors here though.

She mentioned to me that it was weird. I had to agree. So, we both know it's a strange situation, and that's a good thing. I wouldn't want her to think it's a completely normal event.

She also asked if I told my friends about her. I hadn't told them, and I told her that, too. Hopefully she wasn't expecting me to say "Yeah, I told them everything." But we'll get into that later. The point is that she knows this is weird as much as I do, and I wish I had less friends, so this would be easier for me.

I did tell Steph, and she didn't like it. She told me not to go. I'm worried my other friends would react in the same way.

My friends did ask me where I was on Friday. I freaked out. I didn't know what to say.

I have to explain something about my group of friends. They're very, very elusive. They don't like telling the truth about a lot of things. They make all sorts of excuses and dodge questions. It's incredibly annoying. I pride myself on telling them things that need to be said, without making excuses for them or myself. I've inspired, if that's the right word, to do some of this themselves. I'm really proud of Angie when I invite her somewhere and she says "No, I'm not in the mood" as opposed to "I don't have money" "I have homework" "I'm waiting for a phone call" or various other excuses she used to use on a daily basis.

I hate lying to my friends, and I never really do it. But, on Saturday, when they asked me where I was, I lied like a dog.

I told them that Barb's dad died, which is the truth, and I spent all night with her, talking. Ever since, I've felt horrible. I'm just not looking forward to telling them the truth. I'm not exactly sure how they are going to take it. And maybe I shouldn't care this much, but I really do. My friends mean everything to me, and it's not that they wouldn't approve or whatever, but they would think it's weird. And it is.

Eventually I'll tell them, and I'll need to confess the entire thing to make myself feel better. I'll just wait until the right time, I guess. How I'll know what the right time is... I have no idea. Until then, this is just our little secret, I guess. It's between me and a few other people who live a few hundred miles away, which is also weird.

So, that's about it. That's my non-drama for now.

My receptionist laughs

2001-01-28T17:00:00-07:00

My receptionist laughs like a god damn hyena. It's annoying and makes me want to shoot her or myself. She laughs all frigging day.

Laughing has never been so annoying.

In my weekend

2001-01-28T17:00:00-07:00

In my weekend recap this morning, I'm going to skip Friday night. Well, not really. I'm not good at keeping things to myself, so I'll post one of those neat protected posts I've grown to love. For now, let's just say I didn't get much sleep on Friday night.

On Saturday, I got home and jumped in the shower. Before long, Alan knocked on my door, telling me the guy buying my Camaro was already at my parents, so I needed to hurry if I wanted to wish her goodbye. I jumped out and ran to my parent's house as quickly as I could.

The guy actually had the balls to try to negotiate price with me. I basically just told him there was no way I'd even move a penny on this deal. He bought it, of course, and got a really good deal on it. Here's how he started the haggling... "Well, it (he said 'it'. Cammy is a 'she') has a few more scratches and dents than I thought it did." This wasn't a good way to start haggling with me. All it did was get me angry. I think all my answers shocked him, especially "This is a really good deal at $5500. You're either buying it or not. I really don't care."

He drove it away, and watching her leave was really sad. I think I'm over it. She'd been in storage since October, so I wasn't as attached to her as I had been when I drove her every day.

After that, I went out to eat dinner with Angie, Mullens, and Alan at Monical's Pizza. Alan went home afterwards, and we went to see "What Women Want", which Angie had been begging us to see for months. Every time we actually got to the theater, there was something I wanted to see more, so we always skipped it. This time, me and Mullens really wanted to see "Snatch", but we made the sacrifice for Angie and watched a crappy girly movie.

I was almost falling asleep through the whole thing, on account of me not sleeping hardly at all on Friday. Angie kept jabbing me with her elbow to make sure I watched every crappy second of that movie.

The movie ended at almost 10, and I was very ready to call it a night. Angie and Mullens were planning on going to a few parties, but there was absolutely no way I could have done that. I went home and fell asleep, on my love seat in my game room because there was a party going on upstairs. When I do that, I usually wake up every hour or so, check to see if the party is done, then sleep where it's appropriate. That night I slept from 10 to 5:30 am without ever waking up. I never do that, but especially not on a crappy love seat.

Sunday I went out to eat with Angie and Mullens, then to the mall. They were going to "stop by" a Superbowl party to have "a drink", then come back to my place to watch the game. I wasn't really up for socializing and being friendly. I mostly just wanted to sleep, so I opted to skip this party too. Instead I watched "Plan 9 from Outer Space" which is a movie I picked up while at the mall. Great stuff.

Well, Mullens and Angie never came back. Instead, Brice came over and we watched Coyote Ugly, finally.

And that was my weekend. You lucky friends of mine can read all (maybe not all) about my Friday night. Enjoy.

I didn't do

2001-01-29T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't do anything last night. I got some Subway, went home, watched some TV, then dicked around on the internet for the rest of the night. That's it. So, for now, I will list the things I need to accomplish today.

Call insurance guy. Get insurance.
Call my bank to tell them how dumb they are.
Call the Art Guild to confirm my figure drawing class.
Pay off my Mastercard and Discover card.
Send in a student loan payment.
Send in a payment for a magazine subscription I'm getting ripped off by.

That's about it. I'll do all these things from work, and then I'll feel better.

My day so far.

2001-01-29T17:00:00-07:00

Called. I have insurance now.
Called. They're really dumb. I had to go run in yet another copy of my Jeep receipt.
Confirmed. Thursday nights, from 7-9 I will be drawing naked people.
Forgot my checkbook at home.
Can't pay bills, because
I forgot my checkbook at home.

I do feel better though. I also need to pay my phone bill. Then I'll be all set until February 20th, when all the bills start up again.

My cost of living... roughly $1,400/month. Oh, the good old days, when my parents bought me everything I needed, and all I had to buy was toys. Now my toys need to be fit in, while still saving enough for what I need. That's no fun. No fun at all.

I also need a new computer. You can send me donations if you want.

Again I didn't

2001-01-30T17:00:00-07:00

Again, I didn't do anything last night.

I went to help my Aunt with her computer. I do that once a week, and she gives me $20 every time. That'll start adding up, but I hate taking time out of my 'busy' schedule. Actually, I just hate taking time away from my friends. But anyway.

I got home and didn't have any messages on my answering machine. That's strange and disturbing. I tried calling a few people to no avail before giving up and watching TV. I watched some special on UFOs. It was fantastic. Or something.

I got a phone call from a friend of mine, Brandon Wickwire. I will now take a few paragraphs to express some annoyances I have with him and another friend.

I like Brandon. I really do. We were good friends in high school. We were the ones who would sit out during gym class and make fun of people. We'd doodle in class rather than pay attention, we both read comic books, blah blah blah. But, I was more of a friend of convenience for him. He's the type who can't be happy unless he's with a girl, so we'd hang out between his girlfriends. The good thing is that he tended to realize this, and apologized for it. I don't go out of my way to spend time with him anymore, and he doesn't expect me to. That's good. He's decided what his priorities are, and I've decided mine. He's also incredibly straight-edge, and while he doesn't approve of my drinking, he also doesn't condemn me for it. He's got, or had, plenty of friends who were way more hardcore than I ever was.

Now on to another friend, John Zarr. Talk about being convenient. I spent a good deal of high school trying to get him out of his shell and go out and do things. He never wanted to. Finally I started making leaps and bounds with him. It got to the point that he'd get bored and give me a call, which he never would have done before. Well, right about then, his sister died. I felt bad after that, forcing him to go out and calling him a sissy when he wouldn't. So, we kind of went our own separate ways, and I'd call him when I was in town. We hang out, but less than usual, because he always wanted to call it a night early and we were never interested in doing the same things anymore. Nowadays, I ALWAYS call him. Every time we go out, it's because I called him. A few months ago I called him and we went out to dinner, during which he made some comment that I only called him because Mullens was out of town. That pissed me off really bad. Then he wanted to go home at 10 to email his would-be girlfriend. Pardon me for not wanting to go out with him anymore. Still, I gave him a few more chances and called him a few more times. I just can't handle his comments. He doesn't want me meeting his girlfriend because he thinks I'll make a bad impression of him. Or something. Every time I call him, he gives me a hard time about not calling him enough. I invite him to my parties, he accepts, then doesn't show up. I guess he had to play on his computer instead. Well, this isn't the point anymore.

Brandon was calling to tell me he had a tumor. They're almost positive it's benign, and they're pretty sure it's harmless. The surgery to remove it is pretty standard, so there's not a lot to worry about. Brandon seemed in good spirits about it, able to make jokes and laugh at mine. It's strange to me how all this bad stuff happens to all my friends, and not me. I've been incredibly lucky in life. I was raised in a very privileged home, not just financially, but also able to give me social skills that help me in life better than their money ever could. The diseases that are pretty common in my family have avoided our small section of it, mostly. No major health problems to speak of in my immediate family, which I can't say about my extended family.

But after I heard Brandon's news, I hoped I wasn't taking my friends for granted. Both Brandon and John used to be some of my best friends. Sure, Brandon is going to be okay, but what if it was something more serious? Would I miss the opportunities I never even took? Did that question even make sense? And John... sure, I have nothing but bad feelings for him now. But I also have nothing but good memories from a few years back. Which is more important? Lately I've been choosing things for myself for the "right now", but what about the "back then"? Should I forget that stuff? Ah, questions.

This post has been awfully random. I hope you've made sense of it.

Oh, yeah.

2001-01-30T17:00:00-07:00

I love my milk. I love it. I have one glass when I go to sleep, and I chug out of the carton when I wake up. I also usually drink a few glasses during the evening. Well, I'm out of milk, so last night at 10:30 I was going to walk to Walgreens to pick some up.

Well, at 10:30, Walgreens was closed. I thought it was 24 hours... I mean, aren't they all? Sure, I could have just walked across the street and gotten some from the grocery store, but if you do the math, you'll realize that's a whole extra 2 blocks. Screw that. I was tired.

So, I went home, skipped my nightly milk, then my morning milk. And now I have a horrible sore throat. I'm linking these 2 events together, even though they probably aren't linkable.

I need some milk.

Last night was

2001-01-31T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was spent mostly trying to hunt down my friends. I couldn't do it. I wanted to go to Garner's, but everyone was inaccessible for one reason or another.

I wasn't in the mood to make my own dinner, but unfortunately that was my only option. I started looking through all the cabinets in the apartment for some kind of food, but luckily the phone rang. It was Barb.

She invited me to dinner, and I accepted. It was a relatively uneventful dinner. She talked a lot about her dad, and spoke in very matter-of-fact terms about it. The conversation was filled with a lot of awkward silences, and then I started making stupid jokes to ease the mood a little.

I feel sorry for her. I really do. I can't imagine what it's like to lose your father, but I'm hoping she doesn't expect me to be her best friend now. I just can't do that anymore.

After dinner, I came home and killed some time watching Temptation Island and messing around on the internet, then I went to bed. It was really exciting.

Tonight I get to draw naked people.

First I'm going

2001-02-01T17:00:00-07:00

First, I'm going to bitch. Then, I'm going to stop.

The bitching... Yesterday one of my coworkers called me on the phone. It was about 10:30, and he wasn't in the office yet. He asked me "Did you tell me when you were leaving yesterday?" to which I replied "No. I stayed until 5, then I went home. I didn't know I needed permission...". He kept saying things like "I know I'm not your boss, but it would be nice if..." or "When you're working that closely with someone, it's a good idea to let them know where you're at" blah blah blah. Whatever. I don't need to send out a company email every time I go home for the night.

He got into the office at about 11, then at 4:30 he actually came to my cubicle to tell me he was heading home. What the hell is that about?

But, I was invited to eat lunch yesterday with the "cool kids" of the Iona Group.I know I was simply a replacement cool kid, since the usual one is off on some training or something. It was a good lunch. We just complained about things and made fun of people. Hopefully they'll invite me to go with them more often. I even told them about being scolded for leaving, and they just laughed and told me what a freak he was, then told me about 20 stories why no one likes him.

After work I picked up some art supplies for my figure drawing class. I had a little time to kill between work and the class, which I did on the phone, mostly. Then I was off to draw some naked people.

The class started with "warm up" exercises, where you're supposed to draw circles on your paper to loosen yourself up. No offense to the teacher, but this is lame. I don't need to do it. So, I didn't. I didn't feel like wasting some of my paper and charcoal on an exercise I didn't think was worth my time. Well, she made me. And when I tried to make it semi-interesting for myself, she grabbed my hand and showed me how to make a circle. It was a little degrading.

After the warm up, we went around the room and told everyone how experienced we were with this art thing. Now, there's 4 other people in the class, and I'm the youngest student by about 30 years, seriously. Most of them hadn't practiced in years, one had never done any figure drawing, and I think everyone expected me to say "I'm taking this class to see naked girls". Instead, I said "I graduated from the Illinois Institute of Art about 8 months ago and haven't kept up with my drawing. I'm taking this class to get back in the swing of things." You could see everyone's jaws drop. This punk kid may actually have some skillz after all.

The teacher never grabbed my arm to show me how to make circles after that.

The class was great. It felt so good to do it again, after not doing it for so many months. I just got so into it, and was concentrating very hard on what I was doing. By the end, I had many pages of art I'm very pleased with. Even at my "peak", I don't think I ever was satisfied with everything I did. Last night, I was satisfied with everything.

The model was also very cute. She was a sophomore, studying psychology. We talked during the breaks, because I didn't really have a lot to say to those people who are older than my parents.

Then I went home, and Angie called me. I told her I had a "date" tonight, and she was all weirded out by it, saying I had a double life that she didn't know about, and etc. etc. etc. I told her that was probably more accurate than she knew, and she kept pushing me for the story. I told her that I would rather tell her and Mullens at the same time, in person. Of course, I guess I was being strange enough about it that she got worried. I don't like making people worried, so I offered her the whole story. She said she didn't want to hear it, but I knew she did. I told her anyway.

I told her everything... Girl X, where I REALLY was last Friday, etc. etc. She seemed relieved that it wasn't anything serious, and she kept saying it was "cool". I don't know. Whatever. So, that just leaves Mullens now.

This post has gotten mighty long. But I'm not done yet.

I waited up for Alan to get home, which is quite a bit later than I'm usually up. I had a favor to ask him. I asked him, then I went to sleep on my love seat, because a party was going on upstairs. I'm absolutely positive I was talking in my sleep, because I woke myself up by talking so loudly. I don't know what I was saying, and I don't remember what I was dreaming about, but I was definitely talking.

I didn't sleep much last night, and I'm much more awake than I have been lately. I should just stop sleeping and see where that leaves me.

I wish everyday

2001-02-04T17:00:00-07:00

I wish everyday was the weekend. That would make me much happier.

Friday Jaimee drove down to see me. We went to Damon's, and I took her on an all too brief tour of Peoria. Afterwards we watched some movies and went to bed.

She left on Saturday afternoon, although it felt like Saturday morning. I had to call Angie and let her know how my "date" went.

I had been promising Robyn, one of Angie's roommates, that I would fix her car stereo. It stopped working for some reason, and she knew I had put a lot of money and time into my other car's stereos, so I was already a pro. Or something. This turned out to be a harder job than I thought. I needed another part, but by this time Radio Shack was closed so I left her stereo in pieces on her front seat, thinking it would take me 15 minutes to finish up the next day.

Me and Angie went out to dinner, and she kept asking me all the details about Friday night. When I started to give them, she freaked out, so I stopped. The rest of the weekend I gave her a hard time about it, but it was all in good fun. We went back to my place to watch some of the DVDs I've bought, but haven't watched yet.

Angie was giving me a hard time because she said I was all optimistic and happy about things. She's absolutely convinced that this is because of my night with Jaimee. She may be right. I'm usually pretty cynical and condescending, in a funny way of course, but not on this particular night. Maybe it was Jaimee, or maybe it was just something I ate.

We watched Dinosaur, but I was pretty tired. I just kept falling asleep. Afterwards, I took Angie home and went to sleep. It was around 11.

I slept about 13 hours. It was great. I sure do like sleep. If my entire life was sleeping and weekends, I think I would be pretty happy.

I went out to eat with my parents on Sunday, then back to the apartment. I talked to Alan a little, and we decided it would be a great day to fix our phone lines. Since I've moved into my place, I've only had one working phone jack. It was in a bedroom way back in the corner of the apartment, so it wasn't exactly convenient. Well, we evaluated the situation, and decided what we needed to do to get them to work. We figured out exactly what supplies we needed, and we thought it would take maybe 2 or 3 hours to get everything working.

I needed to go to Radio Shack anyway to pick up the stuff for Robyn's car, so while I was there I got the supplies we decided on. I stopped by Angie's house, but neither her or Robyn's car was there, so I decided I'd just work on the phone lines until they called me.

Well, long story short, me and Alan messed up the phone lines multiple times. Once we got them working again, we somehow messed them up again. It was pretty phenomenal how much we sucked at installing phone lines.

For about 6 hours, no phone line in the apartment was working. Then we accidentally spliced into our neighbors line. Finally we got everything figured out, and ran new lines to the bedrooms. Once those were working, we pressed our luck and tried to run one to the living room. To everyone's amazement, it worked the first time. We now have 4 working phone jacks in our apartment. Feel free to leave comments about how impressive I am.

Of course, while we were working on the phone lines all the phone calls we made had to be with our cell phones. This got to be a bit of a hassle, as I'm sure you can imagine. Come to find out, Robyn made a surprise trip to Chicago, so I couldn't finish up her car anyway. I left her stereo apart on her front seat. Hopefully she didn't mind that too much. She also accidentally took my toolbox with her, because I left that in her car too. We had to buy a few replacement screwdrivers and things to finish up the phone lines, but that ain't not thing but a chicken wing, I guess.

So, now I can go online in my room, which will be really nice. I need a new computer though, so I think I may buy one tonight and put it in there. Then I'll be all set.

The rest of the night I stayed in my room and called people. It was a really nice feeling.

Oh, and the '1' button sticks, so I think I may need to buy a new phone. Any excuse to get something new is a good excuse.

Here's something I

2001-02-05T17:00:00-07:00

Here's something I forgot.

I was getting on the interstate near my apartment this morning. About halfway down the ramp, my Jeep started sliding around a little. Nothing too horrible. I can handle it.

Well, as I got further and further down the ramp, I started sliding more and more. I was all over the road.

This is where it gets weird. I've lost control like this before in some of my other cars. Usually when I'm losing it, I think to myself "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT", but this morning as I was sliding around, I was thinking to myself "If I fall off the road, it will be a good chance to test my 4 wheel drive." I was incredibly peaceful and non-panicky about it.

Well, finally I just gave up, realizing I wasn't going to regain control. I spun around 180 degrees, looking right back to the top of the ramp I had just come down. As I was sitting there, looking up the ramp, I saw a guy turn onto the ramp and immediately slide off. The guy right after him tried to pull over and stop to help him, but ending up just sliding into the guardrail.

I thought driving up the on ramp would be a bad idea, and walking up there wouldn't do any good, so I turned around, merged on the interstate, and was on my way.

As I was sitting here in my cubicle this morning, I kept overhearing horror stories about that ramp. About 4 people I work with use that ramp every morning, and were all talking about how they were sliding and things. All in all, I was pretty lucky.

Last night I

2001-02-05T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I was supposed to see "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?", but Angie called me at work and told me she didn't want to go, because she's lame.

So, instead, I was going to go buy a new computer and spend the night setting it up, but for reasons beyond my control, that didn't work either.

Instead I sat at home and didn't do anything. I watched "Silence of the Lambs", which I hadn't seen for about 8 years. That's a good, freaky movie.

Why I'm such a huge dork.

2001-02-06T17:00:00-07:00

Here was my day yesterday.

I spent the usual 9 hours here at work, sitting in front of my computer, doing nothing in particular while trying to waste time. I read a few more questions of the best web page in the world, The Straight Dope, downloaded some songs off Napster (the entire 2 disk Tommy album), and whatever else I could do to not work.

After work I had to go buy a new computer for my apartment. But, it was Tuesday, which is also the day I have to go help my aunt with her computer. So, I set up some stuff for her and showed her how to use it, then went back to my place to set up my own computer.

This is where it becomes very obvious what a huge nerd I am. Before I even plugged the computer in, I had taken it apart to install some RAM, a HD, and a video card out of my old computer. I did all that before I even started the computer up.

Well, all is well in computer land for me. Sort of. I need a new sound card, wireless keyboard, and a few other cheap parts to make my system ideal. Not too shabby for a cheap piece of junk computer.

So that was my day. Tonight is Wednesday, so I will be eating at Garner's. I just will.

I finally got Garner's last night.

2001-02-07T17:00:00-07:00

It had been a few weeks since we last ate at Garner's on a Wednesday night.

I picked Fabish up and we met Mullens and Brice at Garner's. We walked in and saw all the employees wearing matching shirts with Garner's logos on them. What's up with that?

Now, Garners used to be such a dive. The floors and tables were always dirty, there was buffalo wing smoke in the air, the people who worked there were never clean, and the wall's paint was flaking off and dirty. But, they had awesome hot wings and that was that. When we used to make trips, we were the only ones in the place. We'd have full access to their big screen TV, and the waitresses would come out and sit with us. Good times, good times.

But, Garner's was just bought by some franchise. They still have great wings, but now the walls are painted with flowers, the carpeting is new, the employees bathe, and the tables are wiped clean. Now, you may think of all these as good changes, but not us old school Garner's people.

There's always a lot of people in there now too, so we have to watch our language and not get too loud. It sucks. What's the point now that it's just a normal restaurant? Ah, but I digress.

So, it was a good dinner, and after words we went our separate ways. Fabish went with me to Office Depot to pick up a wireless keyboard that it turns out they were sold out of. Then we went to Best Buy to pick up a sound card and a new phone for yours truly.

I spent the rest of the evening being a huge dork and installing more computer stuff and configuring my computer. It was a blast.

Tonight I get to draw naked people.

Last night I

2001-02-08T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I had some time to kill before my art class, so I killed it by getting a haircut.

Usually the best part of the haircut is the shampoo. I love it. I love getting my head massaged. Well, yesterday, a guy was cutting my hair. I didn't really care, but I learned an important lesson... getting your head rubbed is much better coming from a girl. I didn't like his man hands, and he pushed too hard. And he didn't have the fingernails that I like to feel rubbing against my scalp. But I digress.

He took a long time on a haircut I thought was pretty simple. So long, in fact, that I had to skip dinner to make it to my art class on time.

I got to class, set up, and made some small talk with my teacher and another student. 7:15 rolled around, and we didn't have a model yet. Well, long story short, the model apparently got cold feet and didn't want to pose nude for us. We were sent home, with the promise of getting an extra class tacked on to the end of our schedule.

So it was 7:45 and I was at home with nothing to do. Angie and crew were going to Gorman's, but I wasn't in the mood. Instead I just watched some TV and fiddled on the internet until I went to bed.

And that was my night.

Tonight I'm taking a small road trip, but word has it the roads are going to be horrible. I'm not looking forward to the trip much, but I'm very much looking forward to getting there.

My dream.

2001-02-11T17:00:00-07:00

Here's a weird dream for your reading pleasure.

I was with Fabish at Fabish's parent's house. Everything was very real, which is unlike my dreams. The house was actually Fabish's house, and his parents were really his parents. The only difference was that in his back yard, there was a huge cliff.

So, we're in Fabish's back yard, grilling burgers and making small talk with Mr. and Mrs. Fabish, Kristen, and some guy I've never seen before.

We needed more food to finish our cookout, so me and Fabish kept cooking, as they went into a trailer to get the rest of the food. Me and Fabish thought it would be really funny to lock them in there. We ran up and locked them in. Afterwards, we stood back to laugh and noticed the trailer was shrinking. The people on the inside started freaking out and the trailer was rocking back and forth. We ran to open the door, but the trailer started sliding off the cliff.

Me and Fabish ran after it, trying to stop it. It kept being stopped by trees and rocks, but as we got closer it slid more and more down the cliff.

Finally it stopped, and me and Fabish we going to stand back and figure out how to handle the situation. As we stood there thinking about how to get the trailer off the cliff, Fabish remembered the burgers. We had left them, unattended, on the grill.

We sprinted back to the top of the cliff and were taking the burgers off the grill and saw Mr. and Mrs. Fabish, Kristen, and the other guy standing there. They said they were trying to teach us a lesson, but we didn't understand it. So, me and Fabish just left.

Someone needs to interpret this for me.

Things I wanted

2001-02-11T17:00:00-07:00

Things I wanted to accomplish this weekend:

Clean the apartment, especially my room.
Do my laundry.
Finish setting up my computer.
Run cable to the bedrooms.
Clean out the Jeep.
Go grocery shopping.

Things I actually got accomplished this weekend:

None of the above.

But, nonetheless, this was a good weekend for the most part.

I left work at noon on Friday. I wanted to pick up some things at the mall, then I was heading off to Naperville to visit Jaimee. The drive was horrible on account of the weather. They closed off the highway I use to get into town, so I had to take a weird backwards way into town. I don't know my way around the 'burbs well enough to do that with any kind of confidence, but I made it, and that's what matters in the long run, I guess.

Like Jaimee, I won't go into detail. Although, I'm pretty sure her assumption about no one caring is offensive. I'll have to think about it for a while, but I think I'll be offended. Yeah, I'm offended.

Despite her whining, I had to leave earlyish on Saturday. My dad is selling his prize possession, a 1965 GTO. It's half apart right now, and being repainted. He wanted to put everything back together and get it ready to show. Unfortunately, the garage we'd be working at was closed and we couldn't find the owner. So, as it turns out, my trip to Naperville was cut short for no good reason at all.

I was really, really tired all day on Saturday. Angie called, and we decided we'd go to "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" that night. It was around 5, and she was taking a nap until 7, when she'd call me with the plans for the night. I decided I'd take a nap too, just to be awake for Coen's latest movie.

Well, I went to sleep, and woke up a little before 10. Fearing I'd missed Angie's call, I ran to the phone and checked the caller ID, only to see that she hadn't called. I was a bit relieved, since now the fact that we didn't go out was her fault.

I went back to bed within the hour and slept until 11 the next day. I haven't done the math to figure out how many hours of sleep that is, and frankly I don't care to know.

On Sunday I went over to finally finish fixing Robyn's stereo. I couldn't do it. I felt like such a failure, but such is life, I guess. I think there's something wrong with the radio itself, but that's just my theory.

Me, Mullens, Brice, and Angie all ate dinner at Pizza Hut, and then me and Angie finally saw "Oh Brother", which was great. I highly recommend it.

I got home

2001-02-12T17:00:00-07:00

I got home last night and fell asleep on my couch. I woke up to a ringing phone. It was Barb. We talked a little about her dad, then she asked me to dinner. We made small talk and joked around a little. It was like old times. These were the times with her that I miss. Sure, there was a lot of bad stuff I went through with her, but a lot of good too. Last night was one of the good times, and it will be stored in the archives.

I went home and made a few phone calls to a few friends. I listened to some Who and Pink Floyd and fiddled on the internet for a while.

I spent the rest of the night feeling like a piece of shit. I hate being the source of people's problems. It's the worst feeling in the world for me. That and jealousy. Those are the worst. Unfortunately, I'm also the type who likes to take the blame for all the world's troubles, whether I admit it or not. Those 2 traits don't go together very well, as I'm sure you can imagine.

I laid in bed for a good 3 or 4 hours, listening to the annoying thumping of the apartment upstairs and thinking about what a horrible person I am, and how there's been so much in my life that I should have done differently. It was a fun night.

Look, I'm saying things I haven't said since I was an angst ridden 16 year old. This is pathetic.

Leaving for the day

2001-02-12T17:00:00-07:00

I'm leaving for the day. My aunt called me at work and cancelled our lesson for tonight, thankfully. I wasn't in the mood to do it anyway. Instead, I'll go home and draw. I should be productive, but I don't feel like it, so I'm just going to whip out my big old paper and the messiest art supplies I own, and provide myself a little therapy. I know I'll feel better tomorrow.

Another weird dream

2001-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

I had a dream last night that I woke up and looked in a mirror. I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't quite tell what it was. Then I realized it was that all my facial hair was completely gone.

I ran to my mom, asking what happened to my award winning sideburns and goatee, and she said that I had gotten up in the middle of the night and shaved them off, without ever waking up. I didn't believe her, and I was bitter about having to grow them back.

I was looking

2001-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

I was looking forward to a night by myself. Unfortunately, that's never how things work out in my life.

I had been home about 15 minutes, and was already in nasty clothes on the ground in my room drawing on my huge sheet of paper. A little while later, Mullens called asking to see if I wanted to go to dinner with him. I said sure, so we decided on the restaurant. I wanted to talk some things out with him, but when I went to pick him up he told me his sister would be meeting us at the restaurant. So there went that plan.

We ate with his sister and 2 of her friends. It was horrible. I hate being the odd man out, when everyone knows each other, and I don't really know anyone. Well, I do know Mullens' sister, but she hates me, which is worse than not knowing me. Anyway.

We ate, then we made small talk. Then we left.

I went home and drew my heart out for about 3 hours before finally calling it a night. I've decided that anger and frustration are never good emotions, except when you're drawing. I fell asleep listening to Pearl Jam and had no bad thoughts in my head.

I knew I'd feel better today.

My updates sure do suck these days.

2001-02-14T17:00:00-07:00

This is on account of me not having a social life with all my friends still in school, having to study and other nonsense.

Well, I was supposed to go help my aunt with her computer last night, which I didn't really feel like doing. Thankfully, she cancelled on me, so my night was free. Being Wednesday, it was Garner's night, so I went to the phone and started trying to get a hold of people. Right as I got to the phone, it started ringing. It was my aunt.

She didn't want me to come over, thank God. But, she did want to keep me on the phone for 45 minutes with stupid computer questions I've already answered. Do you have any idea how hard it is to answer these types of questions over the phone when you would rather just hang up and call your friends? Well, I did as best I could with her questions, which I don't think was very good at all.

So, finally the conversation ends, and I start going down the list of people I want to go to Garner's with. Everyone has already eaten by this point, or isn't hungry, or has to study, or blah blah blah. So I gave up, had 3 bowls of Frosted Flakes (they're GGRRRRREEEAT!), watched The Exorcist, fiddled online, drew some, then went to bed. It was great fun.

Tonight I get to draw naked people. Drawing is fun.

Work yesterday sucked.

2001-02-15T17:00:00-07:00

Work yesterday sucked.

I finally got an assignment that I thought I had some creative liberties with. "On opening" was my description. I made an opening that was loved by everyone in the office, and sent to the client. The client hated it, and I now have a 3 page document describing exactly what they're looking for. The consensus is that their version will suck, but I guess I don't care. I get paid either way, whether I create good things or things that look like my ass.

So, after work I went home to eat before my art class. I had more Frosted Flakes (still GRREEEEEAT!), then went off to class.

My class was awesome. I wasn't as on track as I was last time, but I was doing okay for myself. I hate my teacher though. Not because of her teaching, mind you, but because she tries to make jokes all the time that aren't funny. There's a new store in Peoria called "The Mattress Doctor", which, surprise surprise, fixes old mattresses. The radio commercial for them came on, and she felt inspired to yell and scream about how funny it was, and add sarcastic little tag lines to their commercial. The first wasn't completely uncreative. "Mattress Doctor. We make house calls". They went downhill after that, all the way to "Mattress Doctor. We decide whether or not your sore back is caused by your mattress". Yeah, it was bad.

She also really likes touching my back. I can do without that.

There's also one guy in there who spends the entire night kissing her ass. It's sickening, actually. He also does stupid things, like adjusting the lighting after we're 10 minutes into the pose. I mean, I don't have time to start over, ya know? He jokes right back to the teacher, and although he's slightly more clever, he's still not clever. During one of our breaks, he came over and flipped through my sketchbook, hit me really hard on the back, and yelled "Looks like I have some competition this time!" and walked away. I don't know what he meant, but I don't think I like it much.

Anyway, our model was Melissa again. Thank God. The old people all were talking during the breaks, so me and Melissa talked to each other. Before the class, we tried to make small talk with them, but it was a disgrace.

So, that was my class. I felt great after drawing, as per usual.

I went home, talked to Angie on the phone, drew a little more, tinkered on the computer, talked to Fabish, then went to bed. I had a very strange dream involving Molly that I think I'd much rather forget. In fact, all of my energy will now be devoted to forgetting the dream.

I don't have any big plans for the weekend. Tonight Angie and Becky are coming to my place to watch some movies and drink. Tomorrow I HAVE to get my laundry done. I just have to. But, if I get done early enough, I may go on a small road trip.

The weekend of productivity.

2001-02-18T17:00:00-07:00

I actually accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish this weekend. Well, not one thing, but I was close.

Friday I got home and cleaned my apartment a little. Becky and Angie stopped by, made me some dinner, then we watched a movie and I drank beer and they drank wine. I called it a night kind of early for a weekend, and slept for about 14 hours.

I woke up on Saturday and felt like crap. I had a sore throat and a headache. That really sucks, because I never get sick. I don't even know how to deal with it. The last time I've felt that bad was like 7th grade, and I know full well I didn't feel THAT bad. It didn't stop me from complaining though. So, I spent basically the entire day doing laundry, which I will never do again. From now on, I will do my laundry at more regular intervals. I think that will be better. An aside to the story... I think the new detergent I'm using is giving me a rash. That REALLY sucks, because I don't want to have to wash every single one of my clothes again. Ah well. So anyhoo... Saturday night I was planning on visiting Jaimee, but my laundry took me too long, and I had obligations with my dad and Angie, so I wouldn't have left Peoria until pretty late. That plus the fact that I had felt progressively worse all day on Saturday kept me stranded with nothing to do on a Saturday night. I got guilted into socializing with Alan, his girlfriend, and this girl Julie who just broke up with her boyfriend. It sucked. I didn't want to be social and friendly. I just wanted to either sleep, draw, or watch Mad Max or something. I did what I could with the friendly thing, but went to sleep early.

I was dreading getting out of bed on Sunday. I mean, I had felt worse and worse all day Saturday, so how would I feel on Sunday? Eventually I got out of bed and felt great. I was fine. I ironed some clothes, ate lunch with Sarah and Robert, then me and Alan went to work with getting cable to the bedrooms.

One word can be used to describe the cable installation process: easy. It was unbelievable. Remember how with the phone lines, me and Alan could do nothing right? Well, with the cable, we could do no wrong. So, we now have cable in the bedrooms. How impressive is that? Our next plan is to take cable into the bathroom, and get a little 5" TV or something to watch during showers or baths or on the toilet or something. That should be really cool.

So anyway, the big event on Sunday was the new episode of Jackass, and afterwards I just went to my room and fiddled online and drew some pictures while some people watched a movie in the living room. It's nice having cable in my room. Very nice. And a phone, too. It's like I'm living in the future.

And now it's Monday and I'm at work. And it sucks. And I want to go home. And I'm stuck here another 8.5 hours.

I don't have

2001-02-19T17:00:00-07:00

I don't have a lot to update on, I guess. No big dramas anymore. And really, without drama, is my life worth reading about?

Anyhoo, last night I went car shopping with Mullens and Angie. He's looking for yet another car he can't afford. I don't know what's wrong with the kid. Everything is a competition. I get a new car, so he has to get a newer car. That's how things have always been with him. It's sickening.

So after looking at a ton of cars he can't afford, we went out to dinner. It was a really god dinner. I was in the mood for shrimp, for some reason or another. So, I had shrimp. And it was good.

Alan actually got the day off, being a holiday and all. So he was home when I got back for the first time since we've been living together, probably. We just watched some TV until I got bored and went into my room to draw and tinker with my computer. And that was my night.

Tonight I have to help my aunt with her computer, but that visit will be cut short, since Angie has some celebrating to do and has asked me to join her.

Last night I actually did something fun.

2001-02-20T17:00:00-07:00

Immediately after work I went to my aunt's house to help her with her computer, an activity I get more frustrated with every single time I do it. I knew I'd have to leave early for Angie's celebratory dinner, so I left after just an hour and a half or so.

We were supposed to be eating with a big group of people. Well, long story short, the big group turned out to be the usual group of me, Angie, and Mullens. We went to Chedder's, where Fabish was working. We just joked around and had a good time. Afterwards we headed downtown to a little pub. We drank a little more and ate some nachos.

I went home a little before 11, but they went to yet another bar. I probably should have gone with them. Instead, I went to sleep.

I woke up this morning with a nose that wasn't stuffed up and no headache or sore throat or anything. Ah, the healing properties of good old beer. I still have a weird coat of slippery yet dry nastiness on my lips. What's up with that?

2 good nights in a row?

2001-02-21T17:00:00-07:00

Yep.

Well, I had made plans with Fabish on Tuesday to eat at Garner's last night, for $3/pound wing night. We ate at Garner's, just me and him. It was the first time since high school that me and Fabish just hung out by ourselves, and it was good.

Fabish really wants to see Hannibal, but had never seen Silence of the Lambs, so we went back to my place and watched it while we drank beer. Mullens stopped by briefly but I think he got sick of me and Fabish making fun of him, so he left.

After Silence of the Lambs, we watched whatever was left of the Grammies. Is it just me, or did Eminem's performance absolutely kick ass? My favorite part was how they tried to bleep out some words, but missed.

Naked people.

2001-02-22T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I drew naked people. Well, a naked person. Melissa, who I always draw.

I became more and more annoyed with my teacher and classmates last night. We were listening to some oldies station, which I don't mind. My parents listen to those stations, so I know and like most of the music they play on them. At one point they were talking about how crappy music these days was. I was trying not to say anything, but the conversation lasted long enough that I finally blurted out "Not all new music is bad. It depends on who you ask, I guess." After a very long pause, Melissa, who is naked and posing a few feet away added "Not all new music is good, but not all old music is either." Then we changed the subject. Stupid old people.

Earlier in the night they were having a discussion on how horrible the Grammies were. I almost chimed in with "Yeah, but wasn't Eminem's performance awesome?" I didn't say anything though.

I was having an off night, and not doing so hot. But, I'm drawing and getting back into the swing of things now, so I'm okay with a bad night or 2. There's only 2 classes left, so I'll have to motivate myself to draw after that.

Tonight will be a good night. This weekend will be a good weekend.

Weeks are so long, weekends are so short.

2001-02-25T17:00:00-07:00

Last week lasted so long. It may have been because I was half sick and dying, or maybe just because I hate my job. But either way, it was way too long and I hated every second.

My day at work on Friday was horrible. I don't even want to think about it, so I won't bother writing it all out. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that Jaimee was coming to visit me that night.

So, I go home after work and cleaned a little. Of course, since I keep my apartment immaculate, cleaning wasn't such a chore. Jaimee and I had to waste some time, and then we were going to eat with some of my friends who were very anxious to meet her. We went to a weird pizza restaurant that is a favorite amongst all of my friends, and one of my least favorite pizza place. I know it was a bit awkward for her to meet my 3 best friends all at once, but it meant a lot to me that she did it.

She left on Saturday, after eating at Avanti's and shooting the breeze for a few hours. Almost immediately after she left I called Brice, and we went out for a little while. Angie and Mullens were going to come to my place and drink, but I wasn't really in the mood. I told them I wanted them to come, because I had some stuff I wanted to talk out with them. Well, with Brice there I wasn't able to talk to them about what I needed to talk to them about. Not only that, but Angie was going to bring some of her cousins. They all drank, and I watched TV. They all left around midnight, thank God. I was horribly tired, so I went to sleep.

I slept about 11 hours, and it was awesome. On Sunday I had to go back to my parent's place and help my dad carry some car parts around. We finally got around to putting the bumpers and trim around his car, which took... oh, about forever. I don't know why it was taking so long. But, I told him I had to leave at 5:30. There wasn't really a good reason for me leaving, other than I was sick of working on the car and wanted to go home and watch TV.

Angie and Mullens dropped by just before the beginning of Simpsons. We ordered some pizza and watched the Simpsons, and 2 episodes of Jackass. It was great fun.

And now here I am, at work, gearing up for another long, long, long, long week.

What I wanted

2001-02-26T17:00:00-07:00

What I wanted to do last night: Nothing.
What I did last night: Lots of stuff.

I went back to my parent's place to eat some dinner. Afterwards I drove my dad to pick up his car that's been in storage for the winter. How ironic that he left it in there all winter, and the night he gets it out, it starts snowing.

So, I went back to my place and Angie and Mullens called. They were going to come over and make some dinner and watch a movie. Of course I didn't have a problem with that. I had just eaten at my parents, but that didn't stop me from eating again. We watched Seven, which is a great movie, but long. They didn't leave until around 11, so I didn't get more sleep, as I had planned to do.

Mullens asked me if I wanted to go to St. Louis tonight for their Mardi Gras. I made some excuses, but I think I'm going to go. I'm young and stupid and I should do this. It's like I owe it to myself or something.

I felt craptastic all day yesterday. Not sick, just lousy. I don't know exactly why, but I feel a little better today. I wouldn't put myself in the good mood category, but I'm getting closer. I've just had a lot on my mind, which usually leaves me discontent with some part of my life. That's where I am right now. I don't know exactly what's bothering me, but I think I have it narrowed down quite a bit. Tonight will be a good night to just not worry about it. I can worry about it some other time.

An update from home.

2001-02-27T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, I'm at home right now, despite it being 11:30 on a work day. I called in sick for the first part of the day. Well, that's not technically right... I called in and said "I feel like crap", which was true, since I didn't sleep hardly at all last night.

I wasn't home for very long last night before Mullens picked me up, and we were on our way to Mardi Gras. We had to make a few stops before we left Peoria, to pick up some beads and alcohol. The beads were remarkably hard to find, so we had to leave Peoria without them, figuring we'd get them in St. Louis.

After 2.5 hours of deep, bonding conversation, me and Mullens arrived in St. Louis. Parking was horrible, but we finally found a parking place a mere 200 miles from Mardi Gras.

Now here's the thing. In St. Louis yesterday it was 15 degrees and snowing. Hard. During the walk, we didn't hear any music and didn't see hardly any people. Me and Mullens wondered if they had called it off, or if no one was showing up on account of the weather.

We were half right. There was basically no one there. There was maybe 300 guys, and about 10 girls. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. The girls were flashing for beads of course, not that we could tell. There was always huge mobs of people around them, and occasionally they'd get on a guy's shoulders, but you still couldn't see anything. By some stroke of luck, me and Mullens found ourselves in a front row seat for one of these flashings. Guys were crowded all behind us, climbing on our shoulders and trying to push us out of the way. It was really obnoxious.

In the end, we stayed a little more than an hour and gave away about $2 worth of beads. We each bought $20 worth, so we have quite a few left over. I don't know what I'm going to do with them.

We got back to Peoria around 1:30. I had a hard time getting to sleep, and then I just kept waking up, over and over and over again. I hate nights like that.

Well, I'm off to grab a quick bit to eat, then heading off to work.

Last night was

2001-02-28T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was Wednesday, which means $3/lb. at Garner's. It was also Ash Wednesday, which means my Catholic friends couldn't get Garner's, unless we got a cheese pizza for them. So, we did. Me and Fabish talked about getting a dog. I may skip my art class tonight to drive and pick one up. His sister is a vet student at U of I, so we'd have to drive down there, but she has a great dog for us. An Australian Shepherd, whatever that is. We got Garner's delivered to my place, and watched Temptation Island and whatever else was on. After they left I dicked around on the internet for quite a long time, for lack of anything else to do. I had slept in quite a bit yesterday, so I wasn't very tired at my usual bed time. For me, that's always a bad thing. Especially last night.

As I've mentioned before, I take blame for pretty much everything in life. Anytime anything goes wrong, it's always my fault. Always. I can never say the right thing, and people never understand what I mean when I say anything. I was feeling it especially hard last night, and kept thinking about it as I tried, unsuccessfully, to get to sleep.

As per usual, I didn't come to any conclusion about anything in my life. I never used to like the person I was, and I took all these pretty drastic steps to get myself into a position where I could be proud of myself, and secure in myself. But occasionally I meet someone to can show me how messed up I really am. I still have a lot of improving to do, and I don't know how to do it, or even exactly what the problem is. "That's just the way I am" is never an excuse I would even consider using. It's a bullshit excuse. I didn't used to be this way. I can go back. And I will. Someday.

My life is such a straight line. There's no valleys, but there's also no peaks. Lately there's been lots of valleys, but never any peaks. So, how do I get the peaks? I thought I knew the answer, way back when. I thought my life was missing something that I was incapable of getting. Now it seems I have it, and it's not helping. In a way, it's making things worse. But maybe things need to get worse before they can get better.

The emotions I'm used to feeling aren't good ones. They're about the worst ones you can imagine. But at least I know how to deal with them. I have a lot of practice, and they don't effect me much. But, the more I think about it, the more scary that gets. Why don't I have more experience in dealing with the good parts of life? And what do I need to do to get that experience? And whose going to put up with me when I'm doing it all wrong?

I don't even know anything these days. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know where others are going, I don't know where my relationships are going, I don't know what I can and can't deal with in a relationship, or what they can or can't deal with me. I don't know if I should make all decisions for myself or if I should make them with others in my mind. Of course, that point is moot, since I don't even know what I want.

I really can't do anything right these days. For a long time, I was the one who could do no wrong. I was the person people would come to for advice, the person who would handle all situations exactly right. Now I'm exactly the opposite of that.

These years of killing my emotions with logic are coming back to haunt me. While I was living in Chicago, I had to live without emotion. That was the only way I could have gotten through that. I don't blame myself for doing it, but I do regret it now. But then again, how messed up would I be right now if I had cried myself to sleep every night for 2 years?

I hate thinking this much about things like this, but I can't stop that either. I know I did something wrong, and I don't know exactly what it was. My solution was to just shut up and leave it alone, but I'm pretty sure that was wrong too. I just don't know what to do.

Sometimes I make

2001-02-28T17:00:00-07:00

Sometimes I make myself sick.

Randomania

2001-03-01T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I went to my art class. I was productive as per usual, but I'm getting more and more sick of my teacher. Ah well.

I got home and there was a message on my machine from Fabish, saying he was going to pick up our new dog, and he'd bring it by my place at around 11. I was tired and wanted to get to sleep, but I figured for our new dog, I'd make an exception. He got there a little ahead of schedule, and brought along the cutest little dog I've ever seen. She's an Australian Shepherd, which looks remarkably like a mutt. She's mostly all brown with dark brown spots, but he muzzle (is that the right word?) is white, and so is her chest and paws. She's absolutely adorable, but we're pretty sure she's going to grow bigger than we were told. She's very stocky, with thick legs and neck. On top of that, she's extremely furry, so she looks big, even though she's not that old. She's about 7 or 8 months. She had just been fixed, so she still had stitches and was shaved on her underside. She was also in a lot of pain, so she didn't do a lot of running and jumping. She would come when you called her, and she liked to lay with her head on my leg.

We were trying to think of names for her. Following is a list that me and Fabish ran through: Aussie, Fosters, that pink Transformer, Spiderman, Cutey McPretty, Chud, Maggie May, Sheila, Maggie McGee, Cannabis, Furry McFluff, Fluffy McFur, Stanky, Abby, Dog, Dawg, Lil Doggy Dog, Aborigine, Crocodile Dundeette, Lil Bandit, Spot, and of course, Fido. I think we have it narrowed down to Abby (short of Aborigine), or Maggie (short for Maggie McGee, also a blatant Simpsons reference). We need some outside opinions before we settle on a name. Naming her is very important, you know.

Well, Fabish's apartment doesn't allow dogs, so he was going to leave her at my place until he moved in. Unfortunately, she needs to go to the bathroom often because of the surgery, and I'm never home during the day. Fabish thought it would be best to keep the dog at his place until the stitches came out, and it was more comfortable for her to go a few hours without using the restroom. She stitches come out on Wednesday, and then I will get full control of the dog. I can't wait. I've never had a dog before.

In other news, I just paid all my bills. I got paid yesterday, and after paying all my bills, I have -$300 in my account. That's right, yours truly is in $300 of credit card debt, mostly still from Christmas. My, how it sucks to be in debt. All my money is now gone, with nothing to show for it. Well, I guess that's not exactly accurate. But still. This debt shouldn't last more than a month, but it means I have to stop looking to buy a new receiver. Poor me.

But, I did pay off one credit card, which was hanging over my head, again, because of all the presents I bought for everyone. My plan is to just stop using my Mastercard, use my other card only at gas stations, until I have no debt. Except for my Jeep loan. And my student loan. But other than that, no debt. And I've been aching to buy new toys. I can't wait.

Now that I've wasted your time with an incredibly dull post, I'll leave you to go find something more interesting.

My crappy weekend.

2001-03-04T17:00:00-07:00

I knew this weekend was going to suck. I could feel it coming.

We had made plans with Fuller to go to a Rivermen game on Friday. We were all going to meet over at Angie's and take 1 car down to the game. It would be me, Mullens, Angie, Fuller, Laura, and Fuller's new girlfriend. Well, we get to Angie's at 6:30 and wait around for Fuller. By 6:45 I was pretty sure Fuller wasn't going to show up. I mean, it was Fuller. He has a habit of never following through on anything he says he's going to do. The game started at 7:00, and by 7:30 me, Angie, and Mullens just decided to go to the game without him.

So, we get to the game and who do we find but Fuller. He said he stopped by Angie's house but didn't see her car and just kept going, despite seeing my car and Mullens' car. This made very little sense to any of us, but I guess it doesn't matter. This was the first time I had met Fuller's girlfriend, and she seemed very nice, but looked very young. That's because, as I found out later, she was 17. And in high school. Fuller is 21, and a college drop out. What a match.

After the game we went to a bar and we Protestants ate hot wings and the Catholics ate some nasty cheese pizza. I beat Fuller in Hydro Thunder a few times, and when Fabish showed up, we just sat around and talked. Fabish was going to a party that most of us weren't interested in going to, so we all went our separate ways. Angie just took me home.

I met up with Alan, who was on his way out the door to go to Denny's to meet Erica and a few of her friends. I tagged along because I wasn't tired. This was probably a bad move, and one I'll never repeat. I hate Erica's friends with a passion. They're all very weird. Not that I'm completely normal or anything, but I just don't like her friends. And that's that.

On Saturday I had a few thousand errands to run, but unfortunately I had no car to run them with, since I had left my car at Angie's the night before. I started walking over to Angie's, when, by some weird stroke of luck, I saw Mullens drive by. I ran up to his Jeep and hitched a ride to Angie's. It turns out they were going out to eat, so I tagged along. After I got home, I killed a few hours watching TV and doing random things around the apartment. Then Erica started calling and asking about our party that night. I REALLY didn't want to have a party. I just wanted to watch one of my new movies and order a pizza or something. I told her I might not be there for the party, but she guilted me into it. All of my friends already had plans, so again, it would just be me and Erica's friends. Can I tell you how much this party sucked?

Now, here's something that annoys me to death. Alan invites these people over, which is fine, and they proceed to say "Wow Alan, you have a REALLY great place!" Now, as far as I'm concerned, it's my place. They could tell Alan he had a nice room, but as far as the place goes... it's mine. All the decorations, furniture, dishes, silverware, chairs, stools, TV and stereo equipment. That's all mine. But technically, he pays half the rent, so it's "our" place. But here's what I really don't like. We were listening to some shitty dance music that someone else brought over. It was one of those really loud, thumpy albums that I hate. Anyway, during one of the songs this guy says "Alan, your stereo is awesome!" Now, since Alan didn't purchase, and can barely operate, MY stereo, I would expect him to say "Thanks, but actually it's my roommate's." But no, he says "Yeah, thanks." He then proceeds to tell them about my speakers as if they're his. They're not. The apartment is half his, the stereo is all mine. He tried to demo a DVD for this guy and couldn't figure it out, so I had to do it for him. Then I chimed in, making sure to mention many times how I owned everything in the room. I think it kind of embarrassed Alan, but I also don't care.

So anyway. I went to bed really late, and on Sunday I watched Get Carter, then saw Hannibal with Brice. Then I went home, watched The Simpsons, Jackass, and other lame MTV shows until it was time to go to bed.

And that was my weekend.

And now it's Monday. Send me mail. I'm eager to waste time.

When I wake

2001-03-05T17:00:00-07:00

When I wake up to birds chirping in the morning, it's Spring as far as I'm concerned. I couldn't care less about your calendars and equinoxes. Birds=Spring.

Last night I went over and played with my dog, who is still living at Fabish's. She's got a little more energy than the other times I saw her, although she still spends most of her time just sitting around. Apparently they act this way for 2 weeks after their surgery, so she'll be more playful in a week or so. She's also got kennel cough apparently, so when Fabish takes her in to get her stitches removed, they'll give us some antibiotic for her. I hope she's better at taking it than my cats were.

Me and Fabish went to eat at the Olive Garden, then I went home to watch "The Watcher", which was pretty okay as far as movies go. I spent the rest of the night dreaming about my new remote control that I don't even own yet.

Tonight I have to help my aunt with her computer. Damn it.

A long, boring, and sad post.

2001-03-06T17:00:00-07:00

My dad called me tonight and told me he wanted me to see his new car, and he needed to talk about something with me. I had no idea what it was he wanted to talk to me about, but it's never a good thing to begin a conversation in that way. Luckily my dad is really frank about things... no beating around the bush. He just comes right out and tells me whatever horrible thing he needs to tell me. He sat me down and said "Tim, I have some bad news. Spazz was hit by a car. She's dead." I was shocked.

Now, let me explain something. Spazz was my cat. And by 'my cat', I mean she was mine and no one elses. I found her during my first few months in Chicago, all curled in a ball in the gutter, avoiding cars and shaking. She was a dark grey, and I took her up to my apartment, illegally. She hit behind my counter and cleaned herself out. She was actually white, with brown spots. She was the prettiest cat ever. I had to sneak in cat food and kitty litter for her, since she was illegal in my apartment building.

I kept her there for about 3 months. She was some of my only company. It took her a while to come out of her shell and wander the apartment, but after she got going she was completely nuts. She'd run and jump and climb and claw on things, which is why I started calling her Spazz. She was also the nicest cat I'd ever seen, and would lay on my lap and lick my hands.

Eventually I got caught with the cat and had to get rid of it, so I sent her home to my parents, with the understanding that when I got my own place I would get her back.

Well, she grew accustomed to running and playing outside, and climbing trees and playing with our other cats during my next year and a half in Chicago. When I graduated and came home, she'd sleep with me in my bed and run up to my car when I got home from work. When I moved out, I thought it would be kind of cruel to take her into an apartment and never let her outside when she had grown so used to being outside. Plus my mom had gotten to love my cat, and she wasn't about to let me take her away.

Whenever I went home to visit my parents, my cat would run up to greet me and run around my legs meowing until I finally started petting her.

Well, now she's gone. She disappeared for more than a day, which is very odd for her. She usually was only outside for 15 or 20 minutes at a time before scraping at the door to be let in again. My dad found her yesterday morning in the street right in front of my driveway. My mom also saw it and couldn't stop crying, my dad said. He got a phone call from her in the middle of the day, because she felt guilty for calling the cat. She thought her calling the cat made her come out of hiding and get hit.

Either way, I'm pissed because the cat was hit on my road, obviously by someone who lived on my road. Everyone knows my cat, and knows she belongs to our family. It's incredibly rude to kill a cat, then leave it's dead body right in front of the owner's driveway without ever even mentioning it to my family. I mean, can you be any more inconsiderate?

In other news, my dad found my other cat, Little Kitty. Hey, I named her when I was 5, so I wasn't too creative yet. "You've had the cat since you were 5, you say?" Yeah, I have. For all you math majors out there, that makes my cat 16 years old. He disappeared about 2 or 3 months ago, and showed up at a gas station more than a mile away today. Weird, huh? We all thought so. We assumed he just went somewhere to die. I mean, 16 years old is pretty old. Spazz was about 3 or 3.5. That's not old enough to die yet.

But anyway, Little Kitty is back, and Spazz is gone.

Oh, and my dad's new car, as I'm sure you're all curious about, since it was mentioned in the post and all, is a '95 Pontiac Formula. 350, of course, since my dad will settle for no less than a huge V8 in whatever car he's driving. He sold his '93 Formula earlier today.

I'm back.

2001-03-07T17:00:00-07:00

The internet in the office was down until just a few minutes ago, so I wasn't able to update you on the events of Tuesday or Wednesday night. I know, it's sad. But you'll get the updates now.

Looking back, I see that I did a pretty good job of updating you on Tuesday events on Tuesday itself. Not a lot happened.

And not a lot happened last night either. No one was available for $3/lb. wing night at Garner's, so I got some carry out from Avanti's and watching Simpsons. Brice stopped by briefly, and later in the evening Mullens stopped by. He's leaving for Tampa today, so I won't see him for a week or 2. We tried to get Angie over, but she sucks, so she didn't come. But she did make a shit load of phone calls. The things between them I'll never understand. There's all this drama and weirdness. I just don't get it. They need to lighten up and realize they're not dating.

So anyway, that was my night. Mullens leaves today, Angie goes to Jamaica next week, Fabish goes to Gulf Shores in a couple of days, and that leave me pretty much without a social life. Steph gets home on Sunday though, so that's something.

Drama drama drama.

2001-03-08T17:00:00-07:00

I skipped my art class last night. But I guess I'll get to that later.

Work yesterday sucked. I had things to do that were horribly boring, and I'll hopefully be finishing them up today. But the worst part of work was when I was about to leave. For the sake of everyone involved, I won't get into specifics, but it made me feel horrible. I couldn't stop thinking about it, which is a horrible thing for me, because it just lingers, then gets annoying, then makes me mad, and on and on.

I had to clear up whatever it was that was upsetting me, so I called some of my friends who can always help me get things straight in my head. And they did.

But then it was time to confront it directly, which is way harder than talking to other people about it. But, I did it and felt much better afterwards, in a weird way. But, since it's me, I couldn't stop thinking about it and got more and more flustered by it. So, I did what every guy in my position would do. I went out and bought some toys.

I got a new 3 disk DVD player. It's pretty cool.

I skipped my art class because of the above reasons. To draw, I have to have nothing on my mind, and last night I had everything on my mind. There was no way I could have done well, and since I'm always slightly annoyed by my teacher, I knew I should avoid her too. So, I watched Die Hard 3 (did I mention I bought the Die Hard DVD set?), and went to bed, sort of.

I can never sleep with this much on my mind, which was okay because there was a party going on in the apartment above mine, so I couldn't sleep anyway. I went into the game room and was up for literally hours. You could hear the shitty sounding bass from the other side of the apartment, and it was driving me insane. It finally stopped around 2 am, so I went to my bed, but still not to sleep. I just couldn't sleep.

I finally got to sleep at some unknown hour, and woke up this morning around 7:30, which is half an hour later than usual. I was late to work today.

Fabish was supposed to drop Abby off at my place yesterday, but instead washed her and didn't want to drop off a wet dog. Whatever. I was too busy watching Die Hard to care too much. I left him my key so hopefully he can drop her off while I'm at work.

And that was my night. Drama drama drama. At least it's more interesting to read than "I got drunk last night", right?

Work work work.

2001-03-08T17:00:00-07:00

A busy day at work. I had a lot to get done on this other project, when sometime near 11 they told me about a new project they needed done by 4. I didn't think there was any way to do it, but we got it done, with minor interruptions asking me for job quotes for other clients, and fixing my computer's network connection. But everything worked out great and today flew by, and I just remembered that Abby may be waiting for me when I get home. This will be a good day after all. I like good days.

Everyone keeps coming to my cube thanking me for all the work I did on that craptastic project. That's a good feeling.

The weekend of incredible sucktitude.

2001-03-11T17:00:00-07:00

I had a really, really bad weekend. Well, I guess it wasn't bad, just kind of blah.

Fabish brought Abby over on Friday after work. We set up her kennel and got her situated to her new home. She seemed happy enough to be there. After a while Angie came over, and all 3 of us went out to eat, then to Target to get a wedding present for my cousin. Fabish had other plans, so he left and Angie and I watched a movie. She had some studying to do, and I had some sleeping to do, so she left and I went to bed.

Saturday was the big wedding day. Let me explain this situation.

My cousin, a recovering alcoholic a drug addict, in debt to everyone on earth, living with my aunt (not his mother, mind you), and working 3rd shift in a refrigerated warehouse. No way can he afford to get married.

His new wife, a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, 16, high school dropout, and pregnant. She's moving in with my aunt and not working or doing anything significant. This is going to be a great couple. I feel really bad for their kid.

Anyway, the wedding was a joke. I hate to bad mouth it, but I will anyway. Now, my uncle had a very small wedding. No one dressed up, and it was just in a county courthouse. No ceremony, no nothing. Just a marriage. Of course, this was his second marriage, and her 3rd. They didn't want a big ordeal or anything. This was different.

These are both young kids. My sister and her husband were only slightly older when they were married, and the church was packed with all their friends from high school and college. At this wedding there was about 30 people. I was the closest in age to the bride and groom. The best man was Russ' former dealer. The maid of honor was Russ' sister, for some reason. No one else was in the wedding party. No tuxes, no wedding dress, no nothing.

The reception was no better. Since most everyone on both sides of the family were alcoholics, I didn't think there would be alcohol served. I was wrong. There was a keg. Yeah, a keg. The event was held in a tiny little room with 7 foot high ceilings and dirty walls. There was no real wedding cake, but they tried their best to make it sort of like a real wedding. She tried to throw the bouquet, but it hit the ceiling and came down, hit the floor, and no one made any real effort to get it. They sat her down in a fold out chair, and Russ took off her garter belt. He was going to throw it to the single guys before realizing I was the only single one. He just gave it to me. Later he asked for it back.

I know, I know. Weddings aren't about showing off or spending a lot of money and yadda yadda yadda. I think what we saw there just shows how much these 2 should not be married. I'm just thankful the pastor didn't ask to me "speak now or forever hold my peace" because I couldn't have done that. But these 2 are too young, too immature, and just not ready. I guess it may be noble to ask the girl you knocked up to marry you, but that doesn't make it right. God... I couldn't get married right now, and I have a good, steady job. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm not in debt to the world. I can't imagine where this marriage will go.

I hear her side of the family is more messed up than my side. Her parents are divorced, and her mom's new husband is in jail. She met him while visiting her son. Her dad is an alcoholic who got piss ass drunk at the reception. But I digress.

The whole ceremony is just like foreshadowing of how the marriage will be. Fake. Messy. Contrived. A big fat joke.

So anyway. Saturday everyone was studying, so I went to sleep early. I had to get up early for Abby and couldn't get back to sleep, so I was really tired anyway.

On Sunday I took Abby for a really long walk, did my laundry, cleaned up the apartment, and then hung out with Steph, who just got back in to town. Dave, Steph, Fabish, and Angie all came over and we ate Pizza Hut, drank Pepsi, and watched Simpsons. It was good.

I'm worried about Abby now though. I left her in her kennel as I was showering this morning, and she was barking to let her out when I got out. Poor puppy. I left the radio on for her so she wouldn't get lonely.

Note to self.

2001-03-12T17:00:00-07:00

Strawberry Jolly Ranchers and Mountain Dew are not a good combination.

The worst dog in the world.

2001-03-12T17:00:00-07:00

As you loyal Live Journal readers know, I got a dog on Friday. She's a good, well behaved dog, except when I'm not there.

I put her in her kennel yesterday morning but ran home at lunch to walk her, since she had eaten a lot the night before but not gone to the bathroom. I walked in and Abby greeted me at the door. I thought Alan let her out, but he wasn't home. I checked her kennel, which she had torn apart from the inside out. I rebuilt it, tied up the loose parts and put her back in. I cleaned up all the little messes of hers I could find and went back to work.

I got home around 5, as per usual, and Abby greeted me at the door. Again. Her kennel was still in tact, so the only thing I can think of is that she squeezed out of a little hole. I was pissed.

Jaimee got here a little afterwards and we went out to eat, and of course, I put Abby in her kennel, tying up the openings even tighter than usual. We get back, and Abby is out. By this time she's puked and peed all over the kitchen, living room, dining room, etc. etc. etc.

I rebuilt her kennel but did a better job than before, making sure everything is clasped properly, rather than the half-assed job we did before. I put her in her kennel in my unused bedroom, but the dog wouldn't stop whining and barking all night. Finally I gave up and put her kennel in my room. I've now locked her in her kennel and locked the kennel in my room, so if she's going to poop or pee anywhere, it will be in my room. In retrospect, maybe that wasn't a great idea.

But anyway, as mentioned a little earlier in my entry, Jaimee came down to visit last night. It was very last minute, but it all worked out and we had a good time. At least I did. We ate at El Somberito and watched Fargo, and she even got me a glass of milk when I asked her to. What a nice girl.

I didn't do anything last night.

2001-03-13T17:00:00-07:00

I just waited around for phone calls that never came. It was great fun. I took Abby out multiple times, because she drank all her water right after I let her out of her kennel. I was taking her out about every 45 minutes or so, and as it got later and she still never went, I shortened the time. So, finally I take her out and she just stood around as per usual, looking at me, wondering why I was dragging her out there all the time when she didn't have to go. After a few minutes of just standing there, I took her back inside.

I went to the bathroom and Abby followed me there, as per usual, but I locked her out since I prefer to do my business alone. When I opened the bathroom door not even 45 seconds later I see Abby in the spare bedroom pissing all over the floor. She had been inside almost a minute by that point.I started yelling at her, but that just made it worse. She peed and peed and peed. I thought she'd never stop. I'm pretty sure she pissed out more than she drank. I'm not sure how the physics of the thing work, but I'm pretty sure I'm right about that.

I put her leash back on and dragged her outside, shutting the leash in the door so she'd be outside, but couldn't run away. I used about half a roll of paper towels cleaning up the dog urine, then got on my hands and knees and cleaned up the remaining stain with carpet cleaner.

I let Abby back in and she knew what she did was wrong. She stopped trying to get me to pet her and play with her after that incident. Stupid dog.

But she's puking less, which is good. I like it when dogs don't puke.

crap.

2001-03-14T17:00:00-07:00

I feel like crap. I'm sick. I've been getting progressively sicker all day. My throat hurts, my head hurts, I'm hot one second, cold the next, and my hands are shaking. This sucks. What sucks even more is that I have a somewhat busy night and can't just rest, as I'd like to do.

Today is also pay day, and the day that my car payment and insurance payments are taken out of my account. That would be great, except that I paid off my credit card and don't have enough money in there to cover both withdrawals. Luckily today is payday. Except I haven't gotten paid yet. I better get my check, or one of those payments will bounce, and that will suck.

I'm now done complaining. Thank you for your time.

Sick of getting sick.

2001-03-14T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I was supposed to see a movie with Steph, Angie, and Fabish. Unfortunately Angie couldn't go because of clinicals. All of us were kind of indifferent about which movie we were seeing, so instead we opted to watch Big Daddy over at my place, since it was cheaper than spending $7 on a movie none of us were thrilled about seeing. We also got Avanti's, and Abby pooped outside for me. It was quite a night.

Abby has absolutely no idea how to play with anything, so last night me and Fabish were trying to teach her. She really liked the frog Jaimee brought her. I think it was because she could make it squeak with minimal effort on her half. She even started chewing on her stuffed monkey, but when I tried to pull it away she gave up without a fight. Not to worry though, she'll be a normal dog soon enough.

But I think I'm getting sick again. That would make sickness #2 this winter. That's just not right for me. I NEVER get sick. I woke up last night with the worst sore throat you could imagine. I couldn't even get back to sleep. I got up to get a glass of the wonder drug milk, but it hurt to swallow and did little good. I tried to get some of those lozenges or whatever this morning but they were out. I had to settle for some caramel candies, which are helping immeasurably.

Tonight I'm going home, walking Abby, then heading out to my parent's house for dinner. I also have to remember my road atlas and camcorder charger for Fabish's vacation. Don't let me forget.

I am really

2001-03-15T17:00:00-07:00

I am really, really sick. And it sucks.

Last night I came home, got Abby, and took her on a 15 or 20 minute walk. The entire time she looked at me like she didn't know what I wanted her to do. Finally I gave up and put her in my car and headed off to my parent's, who were anxious to meet her. While in the car, she kept squating like she was going to pee, so I'd yell at her and she'd back off. Finally I get to my parent's and keep her outside for a while longer, hoping she'll go to the bathroom. No such luck. I take her inside and she promptly runs to our living room and pees all over the floor. This is the 3rd time she's done this now. Stupid dog.

Dinner was okay. Sarah and Robert came and we ate at diner near their house. My dad got a new computer, so I put it together and set it up for him because I'm such a good son.

I had to grab a few things Fabish wanted to borrow, then it was back off to my place. I took him the things he needed, then it was finally time to sit and do nothing.

At about 9, Alan's brother called and asked if I would buy him beer. I told him no, because I was going to go to bed soon because I wasn't feeling well. Then he informed me that I better feel better today because he and some of his friends are drinking over here tonight. Wonderful.

I feel even worse today than I did yesterday. Last night as I was trying to get to sleep, I had to breathe through my mouth because my nose was clogged up. My sore throat made it painful to swallow, so instead I just drooled. A lot. Tons, actually. My pillows were soaking this morning. I kept waking up though the course of the night with tears running down my face (what's up with that?), spit sliding down my face, and snot running down my nose. I must have been quite a sight to see. My eyelids also burned my eyes. It sucked.

So, yeah, I plan on being asleep when the festivities tonight begin. I was planning on going to the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Chicago tomorrow, but since I'll probably be dead, I may have to skip it.

I'm not at work, obviously, and Abby is all curled up by my feet. I like the dog when she's not peeing everywhere.

This weekend, I slept.

2001-03-18T17:00:00-07:00

Boy did I ever sleep. I slept and slept, then I slept some more.

Friday I slept on my couch the majority of the day, waking up to walk Abby and go get lunch. On Saturday I did about the same thing, until around 8 when Steph called me. She was going to be leaving for Colorado later that night and wanted to get together with me and Molly for a while first. They came over and played with my dog and watched some TV. They left around 10, and I went to sleep again.

On Sunday I felt much better, but still not good by any stretch of the imagination. I went out to eat with my parent's, then I had to go back to their place and change the oil in my Jeep. It was an extremely easy job, but when I was looking in the manual to figure out how much oil to put in, I found something interesting. My Jeep is a convertible. Now, of course you can just remove the top, but on my Jeep you can just unlatch a few latches and fold the top back, into the trunk. How cool is that?

In other news, Abby will now go to the bathroom with me outside. I hate her much less now that we've gone over this hurdle. She takes forever to go though, even when I know she has to. I need to get her to do it quickly now. That will be the hard part.

Now my job has introduced a "flex time" policy, when I can start my day any time between 7-9, and end it anytime between 4-6, accordingly. Since I like sleeping late, I'll probably go for the 9-6 routine, taking a short lunch and leaving at 5:30. That will work nicely.

Abby now goes

2001-03-19T17:00:00-07:00

Abby now goes to the bathroom with me every time we go outside, and hasn't gone in the house since Saturday. Leaps and bounds, I tell you. Leaps and bounds.

Mullens called me as I walked in the door last night, saying he was coming over soon and staying for an hour or 2 to kill time before his meeting. He never showed up, not that I cared too much. I just watched Mallrats with the commentary on, of course. At around 9 my landlord called, saying he was going to give a tour of our apartment to some insurance people today, and he asked us if we'd clean up a little. I cleaned until around 10 and left a note for Alan to finish up. He did. The apartment is immaculate.

My remote is now in Peoria. It came yesterday, but I wasn't there to sign for it. I'm going to go pick it up on my lunch break, I think. I can't wait to get that thing in my hand. Then comes programming it, which is the hard part. I'm not looking forward to that as much, but maybe a little. That's because I'm a big nerd.

Happy first day of Spring (according to those bogus equinoxes and such) and Happy Birthday Jaimee.

Abby is a

2001-03-20T17:00:00-07:00

Abby is a stupid, stupid dog.

It takes her forever to go to the bathroom because she's so easily distracted. She'll start squatting, then a car will drive by or a dog 2 miles away will start barking and she'll stop. Walking her takes forever and it's mostly just standing there as she circles the same spot over and over and over, squats, stands back up, circles more, etc. etc. etc. It's annoying. I'm trying to get her to speed up the process, but I have no idea how to do that.

But anyway. Last night I went to my aunt's and helped with her computer for a very short time, then we picked up my sister and Robert and we ate at Pizza Hut. I went home, called Mullens and my dad, and watched some TV while playing with my new remote contol. It's the coolest remote control ever.

My dad came in to give me some mail and things and I showed him my remote. He played with my dog briefly, then left and I went to sleep.

Starting tomorrow, my work day will be 9-6.

A late update.

2001-03-21T17:00:00-07:00

This update is late on account of me not being able to log on earlier for some odd reason.

This update is also uninteresting, since there's nothing to update.

Fabish and Angie are still on Spring Break, so Garner's last night was just going to be me and Mullens. Mullens called at the last minute saying he was sick, so he wasn't going. I just got a pizza delivered and watched a special on the first 24 days of Survivor 2. Now I'm all caught up.

That's about it. I hope you weren't expecting too much.

Angie finally got

2001-03-22T17:00:00-07:00

Angie finally got back from Jamaica last night, so her and Mullens came over, made spaghetti, and watched a movie. Before they got there, I talked to Barb on the phone.

Here's the back story.

Me and Barb have had differences in the past. Many, many differences. Enough differences that I decided it might be a good idea if we just called it quits and stopped seeing each other. Ever. Things were just too dramatic with her... never simple. I didn't have the time or energy to deal with it.

After 2 years of not ever seeing me or talking to me, she starts trying to get back into my life again. I told her I wasn't interested and she didn't have to do that. I went so far as to accuse her of hanging on to her friends because she didn't have any left, and straight out telling her that I wasn't interested in seeing her. Things got weird again, and she started making bullshit accusations at me, saying things that weren't true or coming to the wrong conclusions about things I've done or said. I got pissed. I can't stand that. I yelled a lot and defended myself, all the while using it as an example of her not understanding where I was coming from or what I was about, and that's why maybe we should stop hanging out.

Well, then her dad died. She needed people to be there for her, and I was one of those people. I never had the intention of becoming her best friend again, but I wanted to be there for a rough spot in her life.

She called me last night and said she wanted to get together so we could discuss something. Now, that's never, ever, ever a good thing. Ever. I finally got it out of her that it was about her issues during the time I kept pushing her away. For some reason, I'm kind of worried about what she has to say. I don't want her in my life anymore, but I also don't want to be the bad guy. I hate being the bad guy. If I make a break, I like it to be clean and mutual, not "I tried so hard but he's a dick", ya know?

She's told me before how she tells stories to her friends about what a dick I am. She turns them against me for some reason beyond my realm of understanding. Maybe I shouldn't care, but I do. I HATE being the bad guy. I hate it.

Work sucks.

2001-03-25T17:00:00-07:00

I'm back at work after another good weekend. Work sucks. I hate being here. I hate it when I don't have anything to do, but then when I have things to do, I hate that too. Ah well.

This weekend was really good. Friday after work I had to take care of Abby and get everything packed up to go visit Jaimee. I didn't get there until around 8, at which point we just killed time before going to DeKalb. I met her sister, her sister's boyfriend, and went to a local bar. It was kind of loud and there were no open tables, but it was still a good time, and Jaimee's first legal bar experience. I was glad to be there to witness it.

I left kind of early on Saturday because I didn't trust Alan with Abby. With good reason, I think. There were 3 new stains on the carpet, and Alan explained to me that there were several more in rooms I hadn't checked. The problem is that Alan and his girlfriend say "Good dog" and pet her right after she pees on the carpet. That's not how you do things.

Anyway, me, Mullens, and Angie went out to eat and they were moaning about stupid things I didn't care about. There was yelling and tension and anything else you can imagine. They wanted to go to bar, but I didn't want to hang out with them anymore. Still, I went for an hour or 2, but talked mostly to Fabish and KJ who showed up later. I left at around 11 and went home to go to sleep.

Sunday was so productive. I wanted to do some laundry but didn't get around to it. However, I did install a door bell, fix the latch on our bathroom door, tighten the door knob on our front door, hang up some posters, clean the toilet (I even bought some of those 2000 Flushes things), and cleaned up some of Abby's messes with this new carpet shampoo, which worked much better than the other stuff I had which left the carpet messier than it was before. I also did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and vacuumed.

Mullens and Angie came by later and accused me of being grumpy the night before, then made dinner and left my kitchen in a horrible state. We watched "Meet the Parents" because Simpsons wasn't on. I checked the schedule on my digital cable thing, and it said Jackass wasn't on either, so we just watched Meet the Parents all the way through 9. It ended at about 9:20, so I shut it off and turned on the cable when what did I see but the end of Jackass. How upsetting for me. I'll have to catch it in reruns.

So I go

2001-03-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, I go home after work yesterday and hear a scratching from my bedroom door. I think "Oh no, Abby got out." I opened the door and there she was, staring right up at me, so happy to see me, wagging her tail and looking all cute. I looked behind her at my room. I see ripped up clothes, blankets, carpeting, knocked over easels, chewed up paper, and urine on my bed, futon, and some of my clothes. I looked back at that happy puppy sitting at my feet, and I swear I have never, ever been so freaking angry in my entire life. I started yelling at her, at which point she peed all over the floor right by my feet, causing me to scream louder and more.I dragged her outside and locked her with her leash in the door so I could start cleaning up. She started barking loud and annoyingly, so I drug her back inside and chained her to one of our radiators. I was mad at her all night, despite my parents calling and saying "She's just a puppy, that's what puppies do. You can't be mad at her. You can't punish her." Whatever, I replied. I can do whatever I want. By ripping up my brand new carpet, I'm pretty sure I can kiss my $500 deposit good bye. That's a reason to be angry if you ask me. And don't even get me started on replacing my clothes, and my irreplaceable sketch pad from college, among other things. Stupid dog. She spent the rest of the night peeing all over the rest of the apartment whenever I let her leave the vicinity of the radiator.

Brian Kelly, one of my friends from high school, was home on Spring Break and came over to fix my computer. I finally have access to some of my multimedia stuff I did in college now, which is a good thing. Nothing too interesting or exciting to report about last night, I'm afraid. We drank some beer and talked about everything there is to talk about, catching up over the past few months I haven't seen him. He's a cool cat, he is.

Not a lot is happening tonight, either. I canceled plans with my aunt so I could do some laundry that my stupid dog messed up, and will be cleaning more of her messes tonight. I went home to see her at lunch and was still locked away, although it was obvious she had been trying to escape.

Abby was a

2001-03-27T17:00:00-07:00

Abby was a much better dog yesterday. I would even go so far as to say she was a good dog. That may be pushing it, but she didn't pee in the house or chew anything up. That's a good thing.

I didn't do anything last night. Mullens and Angie were going bowling in Eureka, but it didn't make any sense to me to drive 45 minutes to go bowling for an hour, then drive 45 minutes back. So, I didn't go. Instead I stayed home, watched TV, fiddled around online a bit, and that was that.

I've been having weird dreams lately. Usually there's some sort of story that ties the dream together, but not lately. It's just been in a setting with all sorts of weird imagery. The last 3 nights I've had dreams where I was in a huge sky scraper that was really dull looking. I would wander around with people I didn't know, but knew they were my friends. I would look out the windows and see strange things, and every night I've seen huge fires, but they didn't really bother me. Strange.

Tonight is $3/lb. wing night at Garner's. Mullens is all set to watch Boot Camp, so we'll probably do that too. It will be an exciting night.

Last night was

2001-03-28T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was great. John Zarr and Brian Kelly came over and we made some small talk and watched some TV before Mullens got there. We ordered Garner's. I ate way too many hot wings, but so did everyone else.

The premiere of Boot Camp came on, which Mullens was all psyched for. Before the show started, I was pretty sure it would be either a watered down version of boot camp, or an overly dramatic version. It was kind of dramatic, but Mullens said it was pretty accurate. The more I learn about the the real boot camp, the more I'm glad I didn't join any of the armed services.

After that we watched Slumber Party Massacre II, starring the ever popular Crystal Bernard, of Wings fame. The first hour or so is just a regular horror movie, but then it gets weird. By the end you have no idea what in the world you just watched. It's very bizarre. It's like a good idea gone horribly, horribly wrong. Like an art film no one understands except the person who made it. It's just weird. I've never gotten lost in the plot of a B-rated horror film before. But I digress.

After the movie Brian decided that he had drank too much to drive home. I didn't agree, but I didn't want to force him to drive either, so we killed an hour by discussing organized religion and how wrong Catholicism is. It was fun. I like heated discussions like that, and I'm not exactly sure why. I think the main reason is that I get to say controversial things that get people like John Zarr pissed off. That's really fun.

I didn't do

2001-03-29T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't do anything last night, again. I was supposed to eat with Mullens, but Anna came into town to surprise him and he canceled on me. Instead I just ate a salad and watched Porky's.

Oh, but the salad was excellent. I went to the supermarket and bought all this low fat junk. Even the crackers I put on it were low fat. The Wasson weight loss program has begun. I've gained about 15 or 20 pounds since I moved back to Peoria, since I'm both eating and not exercising, which is completely opposite of my Chicago experience. I'd like to lose some of that weight again, even if some people *coughjaimeecough* don't want me to.

Barb had been threatening to call me all week, so I was a bit worried every time the phone rang. Fortunately, it was never Barb. I got a few phone calls from the Department of Education. I have my doubts that they're actually who they say they are. I've been dodging their phone call for a few months now. They want me to take this survey that will take like 45 minutes just because "my phone number was scientifically randomly selected", whatever that means. Sometimes I just don't answer it when they call (thank God for caller ID), and sometimes I pretend to by someone else and say "Tim's not here." For a while I was telling them to call back during the days and not on weekends, since I'm never home during the days. But I think they're on to me, and calling more often. I'm probably putting more effort into dodging the survey than actually taking it, but now it's like a game. I can't quit now. I will win. I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it. I'm a survivor, keep on surviving. Destiny's Child are lyrical geniuses, let me tell you.

Yesterday at work

2001-04-02T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday at work Mullens called me and asked about my plans for that evening. I wasn't interested at in in going out with him, so that's what I told him. So, I went home, made my dinner, and was listening to the Pearl Jam CD of the concert I was at when Mullens called, again, asking what I was doing for dinner. I told him I was already eating, and didn't want to do anything but wash the dog that night. Still, he came by. He could tell I was pissed off and kept trying to identify the source. Finally I just said "Well, both you and Angie have made it pretty clear that sometimes even when there's problems that really concern us, we don't have to tell them to our best friends." He argued a little bit, but then I think he started to realize what I was talking about. I made underhanded comments like that all night, because I'm an immature brat who doesn't want to confront the problem directly quite yet.

We went to the local bar, and Angie stopped by for a couple of minutes. She also asked me what was wrong with me, and I gave my typical stupid answer that was amazingly appropriate... "Nothin'. What's wrong with YOU?"

I got home around 9 and washed my dog, who absolutely hated the experience.She wouldn't sit down, and she kept looking at me with these sad puppy dog eyes. Afterwards, she ran around the apartment shaking off the excess water while I chased her with a towel and tried to make sure she didn't shake off on my stereo equipment. I brushed her hair, but today it's much wavier and poofier than it was before. And it was pretty wavy and poofy before, too. She's quite the sight, I tell you.

It's been a

2001-04-03T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a busy day.

I have a few projects I'm working on at once, and I keep getting handed more to do. It's not fun. One could say it's less fun than not working. Or something.

Last night I picked up Abby and went to my aunt's house. She has a fenced in back yard, so Abby was able to run free, without a leash, for the first time since I've owned her. She also got to play with Woody, my aunt's dog. She seemed to really like Woody's rawhide chew toy, so my aunt gave me some pointers on what to buy so she'll start chewing on things and playing more. It was appreciated, since my dog refuses to play.

After I got done there, I went to PetsMart with Abby (dogs are welcome to wander the store and play with the toys... weird...), and let her play with certain chew toys to see what she likes. I bought some of the chicken basted ones my aunt recommended, and Abby was chewing the crap out of them yesterday. Finally. She still won't play tug of war with me, but we're getting somewhere.

I also bought her one of those extendable dog leashes ($17, highway robbery), some more dog food, and a few other toys. She seemed appreciative.

I went home and listened to the rest of my Pearl Jam bootleg. I had forgotten some of the stuff Eddie said to the crowd. Like when he made fun of No Code not selling hardly any albums, and all the Ralph Nader talk. I also forgot the reference he made to their European concert, where 9 people were killed. I heard they weren't supposed to say anything about it because of the trial, so they sort of said ambiguous things that could be taken either way. Interesting stuff. To me, I mean. Not to any of you.

This post is

2001-04-04T17:00:00-07:00

This post is dedicated to Fabish, the only good friend I have left.

I pulled into my parking lot last night and saw Fabish's car there. I thought it was kind of odd, but I knew he had a key so he could take care of Abby during the day, when I wasn't there. I figured maybe he got sick of his roommates and wanted to get away, or just watch a movie or something. I walk in, and he's listening to the Pearl Jam CDs of the show we were at. I sat down and started playing with Abby, when all of the sudden he said "You don't seem very depressed to me." I said "What?" And he said "Well, I was working last night and Angie and Mullens came in for dinner. They said you were depressed and pissed off or something, so I was going to take you out to dinner and find out what was wrong. But if you're not depressed, fuck that." Well, I told him the whole story about why I was pissed at them. He paid for my dinner anyway, only because neither of us had cash and I didn't have an acceptable credit card. We ate at Garner's of course, then went back to my place and watched "Almost Famous". He also made me buy the At the Drive In CD, which is pretty good so far.

My dad bought another new car to resale. It's a '99 Isuzu Amigo or something like that. He and my mom are going on vacation next week, so I'll be driving the car all week, seeing if it runs okay, then he's going to sell it again. I'm pretty excited about driving a new car, even though I love my Jeep. The Amigo is sort of similar to my Jeep anyway. It's a convertible, with a sunroof, so it opens up pretty well.

So I'm going out to my parents tonight to do my taxes and pick up the Amigo, and leave my Jeep. It will also be a convenient way to avoid Mullens and Angie for another day.

I love taxes.

2001-04-05T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I went out to my parent's place to do my taxes and eat there.

My dad was all excited about the TurboTax software he got which made doing my taxes a breeze. What was the outcome? I get a return of $1,600 from federal, and $58 from state. I'm rich. I love taxes. Hooray for taxes.

I watched Survivor. My bet is that Colby wins. He's my dawg. They're only keeping Keith around because he can catch grasshoppers and fish. They need to keep Elisabeth around, because she makes good scenery.

When I got back to my place, it was raining really hard. I love the rain, and I love thunderstorms. Unfortunately I live in the basement apartment and can't fully appreciate thunderstorms down there, so I went out for a drive. It was great. There was rain everywhere, and thunder and lightning... It was awesome. I just drove around aimlessly for half an hour or so, enjoying it all. I went home when it started to die down.

And that was my night.

Barb finally cornered me last night.

2001-04-09T17:00:00-07:00

I think the subject says it all.

Barb wanted to come over, chat, and give me a present that Nick got for me. Nick works for a video store and they were sent some banners for display with their new video games. One of these games was Evil Dead: Hail to the King. It has a picture of Ash holding his chainsaw. Since there's no place to display these signs, they usually just throw them out. But Nick stole this one for me. Pretty nice of him, I think.

She had a lot to discuss with me last night, and at one point started crying about everything she was going through, with her dad, her grandma, her uncles... It's a mess.

At one point she asked me how I would feel being an usher at her wedding. I told her that I just didn't feel comfortable with that. She seemed to think it was weird that I didn't accept, but I wasn't even planning on going, much less participating.

The big thing she wanted to talk to me about wasn't a big deal at all. We had gone through this whole big ordeal via email when I kept telling her that she wasn't a good friend and I didn't have time for that. She argued a lot, and we both said some not-so-nice things about each other. But when her dad died and I went to visit her, even when things weren't okay between us, changed her tone. She realized what I was talking about then. That's what people should do for each other, and that's what I couldn't trust her to do for me. So, she wanted to tell me that she had been thinking about it, and decided I was right. She didn't understand where I was coming from before, but she does now, and wants to make it happen. I told her the same thing I told her a long time ago: I'm not going to put any effort into it until I see a ton more from you. I've been down that road before.

Plus I need more friends right now.

Last night was

2001-04-10T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was spent the same way every Tuesday night is spent: helping my aunt with her computer.

I'm slowly trying to get Abby away from her kennel, but I don't want her to start peeing everywhere. Last night was the first night I didn't lock her in her kennel to sleep, but she opted to sleep there anyway. She also wouldn't come out until I called her to go for her walk. She must like it in there. Now I don't feel so bad locking her away for the day.

I want to go to Garner's tonight. We'll see how that works out for me.

UPDATE

2001-04-11T17:00:00-07:00

Apparently I sent Angie an email I didn't mean to send. She replied, saying that she and Mullens had been keeping secrets from me, but didn't consider that to be lying, and she saw nothing wrong with that. I told her that there was a lot wrong with it, and she should have known that 1. I would find out and 2. that it would make things a lot worse in the long run.

So, she didn't apologize and again, just tried to justify what she and Mullens did. It's a shame.

I actually prefer Mullens' method of just not ever trying to contact me.

oops.

2001-04-13T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to do an update on Friday, so you get one today, even though it's so out of the ordinary.

I didn't do much on Thursday, which is probably why I didn't bother with an update.

Last night was fun though. Me and Fabish went out to a nice dinner at Long John Silver's, then I went to pick my Jeep back up and leave my dad with the Amigo. Later in the evening me and Fabish went to Gorman's and just talked about lots of things we needed to talk about. We also drank beer. I'm a beer fan, you know.

So anyhoo... Alan was having people over last night, and apparently called Angie to see if she wanted to come. Her response was "No, Tim is mad at me, so I don't think I'm invited." Exactly. Bravo, Angie.

This weekend will be spent the way last weekend was supposed to be. I will mope and snap at people who don't deserve it. Too bad I actually had to have fun last weekend, or I would have gotten this out of my system by now.

I think today I'm going to get a haircut, then go to my parent's and wax my Jeep.

The weekend didn't suck as much as I thought it was going to.

2001-04-15T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so I already said what I did on Friday.

On Saturday I, as planned, got a haircut (no line, no waiting... amazing), and went back to my parent's to wash and wax my Jeep. It was a beautiful day, so I was driving with the top off and Abby in the back seat, looking like she was having fun. I also bought a new CD player that I installed in record time. That night I was invited to a party, but couldn't go on account of me having to go to church the next day.

I woke up bright and early on Sunday for church with the family, then it was out to my parent's again to eat lunch with my parents, sister, Robert, grandma, grandpa, aunt and uncle, and little cousin. Nothing great happened. It was exactly the same event as we always have together... awkward conversation and long pauses. I just talked to Robert the whole time.

I also bought the New Found Glory CD, which Jaimee did not do justice to in her journal. The CD is great, although I have a question for you LJ punk fans. I have a version of the song 'Hit or Miss' that starts out saying "The mist is what's pretty. All gold and silver. Too bad it can't last", then another guy says "Nothing gold can stay." I hear this is from some compilation punk album with a bunch of different artists. Anyone know what album? I actually prefer that version.

Next weekend it's supposed to be warm but rainy. I want it warm and not rainy.

A post for Jaimee

2001-04-16T17:00:00-07:00

The things I like about you are equaled only by the things I can't fucking stand about you.

I'm pissed off like you wouldn't believe today. This is a better feeling that depressed, though, so I'm sticking with it.

I read your post last night about your friend killing himself, and #1's engagement. How could you not tell me this stuff? How could you possibly think I wouldn't care or would resent you for mentioning it to me?

God damn it, Jaimee, you tell me all the time how you believe me when I say things, and you obviously don't. Not at all. I told you I didn't want you to censor yourself and you came back and said "Yeah you do." Why would I lie about it? I told you I don't want you to pretend your past never existed, then you post in your journal with the exact opposite. Meanwhile you accuse me of "lashing out", when you're the one who gets angry and accusatory when all I'm trying to do is apologize and tell you how I feel. And even when I DO tell you how I feel, you rarely believe me.

You've also said that you'd deal with me with patience and understanding rather than anger. What happened to that promise?

I was expecting you to be understanding yesterday. I know now that you couldn't be understanding, because you had things on your mind that you needed to sort out, too. But I didn't know that at the time, and it only got me more upset. This could have been avoided if you would have just told me you were having some issues, but instead you just told me a million times what a good mood you were in.

I realize a lot of this is my fault for not expressing myself better, but you should also be more understanding of the fact that I'm just not fucking capable of that. Especially right now, when I don't know how to deal with anything.

Last night I tried calling Brice, Barb, Fabish, Mullens, my dad, Steph... I was so fucking angry and tired and lonely and I didn't have anyone anymore. None of them were home, and only Steph would have been in a position to help me anyway. I just wanted someone to be there. I'm so fucking sick of being alone all the time and I know it's my own fucking fault, for the most part.

All I did was watch TV and pet Abby.

Later, online, I got to talk to Steph, who cheered me up at least a little. I know, especially right now, that you're in the same boat I am. You have issues you need to take care of and can't focus on helping me right now. I'm not going to tell you that's the wrong choice.

But, I also know that if I were to try and email you or call you or something, you'd only take what I said the wrong way, which would make you feel worse about everything. You've made me feel a lot worse on a lot of different occasions, Jaimee. I refuse to do the same thing to you.

Typing this again.

2001-04-22T17:00:00-07:00

This is the second time I've typed this. I'm not happy about it, but you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

The weekend, from the top. Again. Friday I went to eat with my sister, Robert, and my parents at my sister's place. After that, I went home and watched some TV and what not. Alan had some people over, but I didn't really want to socialize with them, so I just watched TV some more. At around 1 or 1:30, Angie called (I'm pretty sure she was drunk), asking if she could come over and talk to me about our issues. I was incredibly tired and had just had that conversation with Mullens a little earlier (he stopped by work on Friday to talk to me about it). So, I told her no, and went to bed.

On Saturday I had to get a replacement CD player for my car, since I had managed to break mine in less than a week. There was a CD stuck in it, which they removed, and I think they fixed the player in the process. I still took the new one, since I'm cool like that. While installing the new player in my building's parking lot, by landlord came up and yelled at me about our dog. I had told his wife we got it and even paid the $25 for the last month, but apparently he wanted a signed letter or something. Strange.

Anyway, I spent the day with Fuller, catching up on everything and wasting some time before dinner. It's strange though... I'm much better off with this new outlook than I was before. Stuff he said that would have bothered me before just rolls right off my back. I also hung out with Tim Callahan and Brett Lewis, both of which I haven't talked to or spent time with in a long, long time. It's really strange how these things are working out for me.

So, me, Tim, and Fuller were going to a few bars downtown and by some weird stroke of luck met up with Fabish and the bachelor party he was at. We spent some time with them, but left pretty early since Fuller had to go to work early the next morning.

On Sunday I took Abby for a long walk in Bradley park, and I didn't do much else, really. I probably should have cleaned my room, but I didn't feel like it.

I spent the majority of the weekend driving with the top off my Jeep, which was excellent. I love driving that thing without a top. Once I get some different side view mirrors, I'm going to drive with the doors off. That will be even better.

Oh, here's a few other weird things. Mullens called me on Sunday saying Angie was really upset and crying about everything that had happened. That's very strange to me, and I don't quite get it. Missy emailed me, asking me to go to her house on Friday to catch up. Barb stopped by my place last night during Jackass unexpectedly because he was next door visiting some friends and thought it would be a nice thing. This is so strange to me that all these people are kind of reintroducing themselves after being gone for so long. What in the world is going on?

More weirdness.

2001-04-23T17:00:00-07:00

I helped my aunt with her computer last night. It wasn't too interesting or exciting, but she gave me $30, which is a lot of money. I'm still kind of careful with my money, but I'm getting very close to not being in debt. I just need to stop buying toys for a while. That's harder than it sounds, though.

So, I got home last night and was talking to Missy, who apologized for not being around for the last 4 months, saying how bad she felt, and how she would have liked me to be there for her, and vise versa. She also recognized that it was her own fault that things were the way they were, and she felt bad about it. Barb sent me an email today saying kind of the same thing. Neither of these girls is typically the one who apologizes... in fact, they're typically the ones who think they're never wrong. How odd.

I told them there was no need to apologize, and we'll just go from where we are now without regretting how things have been in the past or fearful of how they might be in the future. I think that's a good outlook, so I'm sticking with it.

I'm more content and happy with everything in my life than I have been since.. well... for a long time, at least.

I woke up late this morning because my alarm clock didn't go off. I don't know why. I'll have to do some investigating when I get home. My lunch break will be spent washing my Jeep, since it looks like we're having a few nice, rainless days ahead.

Last night Brice

2001-04-24T17:00:00-07:00

Last night Brice stopped by my place. I've decided to stop being to amazed when people reintroduce themselves to me. So, Brice stopping by for the first time in 2 or 3 months was completely expected and didn't surprise me. Or something.

So, I had my art class last night. We had a male model who was built a lot like Superman. There was a classroom full of drawings that looked like comic books. Naked comic books, of course.

And remember how I said I was washing my Jeep, because the 10 day forecast called for sunny days? It rained last night. So, I've decided that the only thing I can do that makes any sense is just never wash my car again.

Product endorsement

2001-04-25T17:00:00-07:00

I'd like to devote the first paragraph or 2 of this entry to the new love of my life, the perfect cleaning product, OxiClean. You may have seen those lame ass TV commercials with the maniac who gets really excited about OxiClean making his whites whiter, and his brights brighter. He ground OxiClean into a paste and cleaned the grout on a bathroom floor. That demonstration is what made me want to buy this miracle product, which was available at my local Walgreens. The building I live in is pretty old, and the tile floor in the bathroom has about 80 years of dirt embedded in it. I followed the instructions on the container, although I did water the solution a little more than they suggested, since I had a big area to cover. I let it sit for an hour and wiped it up. The difference was remarkable. It turns out that the grout between the tiles was actually black, but the tiles are as white as white can be, for the most part. You can see the places I missed, because they're a weird yellowish brown color. Oh, but that's not all. I also used OxiClean to clean the carpet stains compliments of Abby, and on the stove to get rid of that nasty brown gunk that gets in the center of gas stoves. It's an incredible product. I recommend that everyone get a can.

So anyhoo, Fabish was waiting for me when I got home from work last night, so we were going to go to Garners for $3/lb. wing night. Well, we get there, only to find out that $3/lb. wing night is now $4/lb. wing night. How disappointing. That's like $.75 off the regular price. Its hardly worth the trouble anymore. So, last night was probably the last time we make a special effort to get to Garners on a Wednesday. Damn.

Alan had the night off, so when Fabish went home, Alan and I did some cleaning with the aforementioned OxiClean. We also decided it was time to take down the Christmas tree and rearrange some furniture. After we got bored with that, we just drank some beer and watched Little Nicki, which was not Adam Sandler's best work. Tonight I'm going to finish cleaning the apartment, including my room, if I get around to it. Which I probably won't.

sweet....

2001-04-25T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I decided to wash my Jeep again. I was going to get the water spots off, and clean this huge lump of bird poo that I got last night. I figured I could do that with $1.00, then dry it and be on my way. I pulled into an empty stall, got some quarters, and went back to put them in the machine, when what did I see but a big pile of quarters someone else had left there. So, I washed my car with the aforementioned $1, then went out to where everyone was drying their cars. I asked around to see if anyone had left that $2.50 I found, but no one claimed it, so I used the money to buy some towels to dry my car, and this cool Armor All pad to shine up the plastic parts. The rest is soda money for the rest of the week.

So, washing your car actually has a benefit every once in a while.

I have been

2001-04-29T17:00:00-07:00

I have been having the best weekends lately, let me tell you. This one was both busy and fun.

On Friday I went over to Missy's house to see her for the first time since November. She looked exactly the same, except maybe a little thinner. There were 2 other girls and one guy, who I thought was her boyfriend until he corrected me. It turns out Missy's boyfriend lives in Maine, and no one really likes him. She met him while she was on Spring Break in New Orleans, and hasn't seen him since. It's a weird situation, but whatever floats her boat, I guess. Anyway, I had met the 2 girls on a few other occasions, but I had never met Josh. He was a really cool guy. Basically we just let the girls hang out with each other, and he and I smoked cigars and talked about cars. I wasn't planning on spending the night, but I drank a little to heavily and opted to sleep there. I left early the next morning, after helping Missy clean. It was nice to spend time with her again. It was sort of like high school, when there was never any tension or awkwardness, and we just hung out and were friends. It was nice. Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not going to start liking her or wanting to date her again or anything like that. I'm just happy that we can be civil again after so much bitterness and disappointment. Maybe I'm maturing as a person. Maybe the forgive and forget bug has bit me. Maybe I'm not taking things as seriously as I was before, and I'm not trying to read into them or force issues that don't need to be forced. Whatever it is, I'm happy things are the way they are.

On Saturday I went out to my parent's to let Abby play outside and do some laundry. I forgot my OxiClean at home, so I can't give a report on how it works in the laundry. Sorry. I know you were expecting it. I also took the doors off my Jeep and drove around like that for a while. My dad and I went to a hardware store to get some things for a project he's working on, plus some stuff to fix my carpeting that Abby tore up. I helped him a little with his project, then I went home and started on the carpet. It was a somewhat easy job, and out of the 4 seams my patch left, you can only see 1 easily. Not too shabby for a first try. This will be kind of an on-going job, since I had to rip carpet out of a closet to put as a patch, and now I think I'm going to put some hardwood or linoleum in the closet. I haven't decided.

Anyway, on Saturday night, me, Callahan, and Fuller went to a bar downtown and drank a little. I was the driver, so I didn't drink a whole lot. In about 2 and a half hours, we had finished off 4 pitchers, and I had drank maybe 4 glasses. Needless to say, they were pretty drunk. Fuller started puking into his glass. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed, so we hurried him out as quickly as we could. Luckily I had just received information on how to deal with drunk people, so I put all those to the test that night. We went back to my place to pick up Fuller's bag, at which point he puked in my bathroom and on my front porch. I took them back to Callahan's, so he could take care of him for the rest of the night. I was really tired and needed my sleep.

I had to wake up early on Sunday and pick up a present for my mom, since it was her birthday. She was having a birthday brunch at Jumer's, and I needed a present before I got there. The brunch was as good as any other brunch, I guess. It was the usual group of Sarah, Robert, and my parent's. My mom talked to my sister, my dad talked to Robert, and occasionally one of them would say something to me. I need a girlfriend to take to these events, I think. I hate being the single one. I know they're not meaning to, but exclusion is inevitable in cases like those, I think.

After the brunch, my mom took me to pick up some shirts for the summer. I got some really cool ones, and they were all like $12. Not too shabby. I really like the fact that my mom used her birthday to buy me stuff.

After that, I did basically nothing. I watched my Pearl Jam DVD I got on Saturday, which was amazing. I cried a few times. Not really, but it was good. Speaking of Pearl Jam, they're playing a concert on VH1 tonight at 8/7 central. Everyone should tune in.

The 3 episodes of Simpsons kicked ass, but Jackass was weak.

And that was my weekend.

I put my top back on my Jeep.

2001-04-30T17:00:00-07:00

My top had been off my Jeep since Thursday afternoon, and I just put it back up last night, minutes before it started raining. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, but here's the situation.

I was going to help my aunt with her computer last night. I got to her place around 6, as per usual, and let Abby take off into the yard. My aunt's dog wasn't outside, which is odd, and the house was very dark. I went around to a few doors and they were all locked, except one. I walked on in and started calling for my aunt, who I couldn't find anywhere. Hm... strange, I thought. I walked out the same door I walked in, but it made an unfamiliar latching noise as I walked out. I tried opening it again, but it was locked.

I figured my aunt was gone somewhere, and I would just go home and come back next week. But as I walked out to my Jeep my cousin pulled up. Apparently my aunt had to go to Missouri for some reason, so I was going to show my cousin some things, fix my aunt's computer, then leave. But, she didn't have a key, and the door had been left open for us to get inside. Oops.

Instead, we left Abby in the yard and went to my cousin's office so I could show her what she needed to know, then go back, pick up Abby, and head home. Unfortunately, while we were at my cousin's office, it started raining.

I thought Abby would be able to hide under a tree or in their gazebo or something to avoid the rain, but I don't think she even tried. It looked like she ran around like an idiot while it was raining, rolling in puddles and things. She was soaking.

But anyway, I went home and Barb came over, and we just talked for an hour or 2 before she had to go pick Nick up.

Tonight I would love to just sit back and do nothing, but unfortunately that's not much of an option. I have my art class tonight, so instead, I'll be drawing naked people. I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. Probably not.

Not a lot

2001-05-01T17:00:00-07:00

Not a lot to report on now. I drew a naked girl last night. It was Melissa again, who I drew a lot during my last class. I was doing pretty well, but I REALLY hate my teacher. Here's a conversation we had last night:

"Is it just me, or did you draw her head too big?"
"Um, I just drew a circle there. I haven't gotten there yet."
"Right, but don't you think you should fix it?"
"Yeah, I'll fix it, but I haven't gotten there yet."
"Why not?"
"Because I haven't. I've been working on other parts."
"But shouldn't the head be the right size?"
"Yes. And it will be, when I get to it."

I've taken 2 years of figure drawing classes in art school, where I had 4 or 5 different teachers trying to tell me how to draw and conform to their style for a semester at a time. After I graduated, I thought I was done with that and I could do my own style, in my own way. I guess not, and that sucks. In Chicago they had these places where you could go, pay $15, and sit in a room with 2 nude models, no teacher, and just draw. Peoria should have one of those. The closest thing we have is a strip club.

But other than my annoying teacher, it seems like everything is well and good in the world. Everyone is happy and well, and I feel better and better every day, which I didn't think was possible. And what great weather to feel as good as I feel... bright, sunny, and warm. I wore shorts for the first time today. They're kind of weird though... the front pockets velcro shut. But now I'm rambling.

Now here's a story to end my incredibly boring entry. I was getting ready this morning and shoving everything from the pants I wore yesterday into the shorts I'm wearing today. I had everything transferred except for my wallet, which weren't in the pants I wore yesterday. I ran around the apartment like an idiot looking for it, since it may have fallen out on the trip back from the shower or as I was getting ready for bed last night. Sometimes when I watch TV I take out my wallet since it's kind of uncomfortable. Anyway, I couldn't find it and was just going to go the day without it, but as I was locking Abby in her kennel, I had a brilliant idea. I checked the pants I wore on Monday, and there they were. So, I unknowingly went all day yesterday without a wallet. How did I ever manage?

For the last 2 days.

2001-05-03T17:00:00-07:00

Nothing significant has happened since my last entry, which is why I didn't bother posting yesterday. I've just spent the last few days watching TV and goofing around and doing nothing in particular. I will try to make this entry long by filling it with all sorts of fluff and nonsense. That sounds fun.

On Wednesday night I was going to get a pizza delivered for dinner. I opened the door when he got there, and Abby took off towards it. I never really try too hard to stop her, because usually she's so interested in whoever is at the door to run off. Well, not this time. She just took off right down the street. I handed the pizza guy a $20 and told him to leave me my change as I went running after my stupid dog. She made it all the way to the end of the block and halfway down the next. She was getting dangerously close to Main Street, which is pretty busy, especially that time of the day. I was getting a little worried. Finally I just stopped and yelled in my loudest, meanest voice "ABBY, COME HERE!" She stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, crouched down, and wimpered on back to me. I carried her home by her collar, which I'm sure she didn't appreciate, but oh well.

That's about my only story from the last few days.

But Mullens stopped by to see me at lunch yesterday. Conversation was kind of awkward, but it felt good for him to call me again. It didn't really strike me how long it had been since we hung out until he asked me if I got a hair cut. It had been a few weeks since I got one. Thinking back, the only time since high school I've gone more than a week without hanging out with Mullens was when he went to boot camp. And when I went to college. So, in retrospect, I guess there were a lot of times, but that's not the point.

Last night I just ate my left over pizza and watched Survivor 2. Colby was robbed, I tell you. Tina was no survivor. She only won one challenge, and it was basically her family that did that. Sure, being a survivor isn't all about physical strength, be he also won the memory game and he proved that he knew the other survivors better than anyone. I was hoping he'd give Tina the boot with the last immunity so he'd take the million easily, but I gained even more respect for him when he kept his alliance with Tina. I mean, keeping the alliance cost him $900,000, but he did that just to keep that money away from someone who didn't deserve it. Go Colby. He should have won.

Last night was possibly the last big, loud, thumpy Thursday night party they always throw upstairs. Next week is finals, which may not stop them, but we'll see. Then they move out. That will be really nice. I hate them.

Private private private.

2001-05-03T17:00:00-07:00

Private, private, private.

I'm typing this for posterity's sake, since this is a feeling I want to remember and express, but I'm timid to express it in my journal, for fear of Jaimee seeing it and not reacting the way I'd love her to react.

I'm so happy right now, about everything in my life. It's pretty remarkable actually. Name something, and I'm happy with it. I'm happy I found out about Mullens and Angie lying to me. I'm happy Jaimee broke up with me and said horrible things about my character. I'm happy for everyone and everything. So much that it's scary.

This should be a bad time for me. I should be upset with the way things are going. I should hate sitting at home every night watching TV by myself. But I don't. I love it. I love everything. Why? I think it's because I'm able to step out of myself and realize how little this stuff effects who I am on the inside. I'm a good person no matter what, and that's something that no amount of badness can take away. On the contrary, I can use this for my benefit.

I can use these bad things to make me a better person, in and out. And I will. I think I know how to do that. I think my mood right now demonstrates that better than I can even attempt to put it into words.

But for the really sensitive issue that I didn't want Jaimee reading. I think I need to have some sort of closure on this Missy thing. I don't want to like her. That won't work out for me, but I'm worried I do. I had such a great time with her the other night. She held my hand, and it was great. But, it worries me a lot, since this is a road I'm all to fimiliar with and I don't want to revisit it.

And I feel the same for Jaimee, but I know that won't work out. I also know the Missy thing won't work out, but I'm wondering if I should give it a shot anyway. I don't want her to leave me forever, but I don't want her to be with another guy. This is accurate in both cases.

This is the only part of my life I'm confused about anymore, and it sucks. I just don't know what I want, and I don't know how to get that without giving certain things up. And I don't really want to give them up. This is just hard.

I got my

2001-05-07T17:00:00-07:00

I got my tax return last night. I'm $1600 richer now. It's like my birthday or something. I'm trying to decide what to do with this money I feel like I didn't even deserve. I'd really like a new DV camcorder, but I'm having a really hard time justifying that purchase. I'll probably use a few hundred bucks for some extra cushion between paychecks, and save the rest for a house I'll be buying when my lease expires. Ah, but that's boring stuff.

Steph will be coming home tonight, and I'm pretty excited about that. I probably won't get to see her, though. Her grandma died, and she's coming home for the funeral and various family activities. Tonight would be the only free night she has, and I've got my art class, and I'm sure she'll want to be with her mom anyway. This will postpone her plans to return home for the summer, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and I think this is a better reason to come home anyway.

But in other news, I didn't do much last night. I just watched Chasing Amy again with the commentary on, played with my retarded dog, and cleaned my room until I got bored with it.

I had my

2001-05-08T17:00:00-07:00

I had my art class last night. Nothing new and/or interesting to report. I ate cereal for dinner.

This concludes my lamest update ever.

'sup chumps? After

2001-06-01T17:00:00-07:00

'sup chumps?

After much deliberation, and a few emails from people begging (yes, begging) me to put this journal back up, I have caved, and am putting it back up. My 30 day period to decide whether or not to keep it was coming to a close, and I didn't necessarily want it gone forever.

However, I've gone a few hundred entries and deleted certain entries or certain parts. I've decided that may LJ isn't the greatest place in the world to bitch, moan, complain, and pour my heart and soul into. Some of those things are best kept to myself or my good friends. Bitching and moaning is for car trips and late nights at 24 hour restaurants, not for typing into a journal that anyone in the world can read? Right? Right.

So, not much has changed in my somewhat average life, although 2 of my good, real-life friends have decided to start using LJ, which is nice. Say hello to Bryan J. Wolford and Bryan J. Polk. There's a few other Peorians who've signed on to the LJ bandwagon, so come introduce yourselves. Pekin doesn't count as Peoria, because it sucks WAY more than Peoria ever will.

Well, that'll do it for me for my grand return to LJ. My 25 or so days off have been fun, and I can say without a doubt that I haven't missed LJ all that much at all. But still, I have returned.

Okay the weekend

2001-06-03T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, the weekend, from the top.

Friday night, Missy and Jill came over to watch a few movies. We watched The Usual Suspects and Can't Hardly Wait, then they left. It was an uneventful night, at best.

Saturday was the first time in a long time I've had the oppurtunity to drink, since I was on medication from strep throat. During the day, me and Alan went down to Bloomington for this 'super sale' thing. They were selling all sorts of electronics and stuff, but most of it was crappy, and the prices were not as spectacular as they had advertised. We left, disappointed, and neither of us bought anything. That night, Alan, Brice and I went to Hooters, where we ate hot wings and hamburgers. Then we came back to my place and drank beer and watched a movie.

Sunday I spent a few hours tweaking my remote control and watching The Neverending Story, which was way more depressing than I remember it being when I watched it as a kid. I watched Simpsons and Jackass as per usual. Nothing too astonishing happened on Sunday.

And now I'm here at work. It's been raining for the past 3 months or so here. It's also 60 degrees outside, and it's June for God's sake. I want it to be warm and dry for a week so I can take the top off my Jeep.

click here. That's

2001-06-04T17:00:00-07:00

click here.

That's the weather forecast for Peoria for the next 10 days. 9 of them say "isolated thunderstorms." At least now they're predicting temperatures above 60, although it's 58 right now, and that's lower than today's low was supposed to be. I'm losing faith in June. It should be warm and sunny right now.

Last night Brice and I went for pizza at the mall, then I picked up Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I took Brice home, then I went back to my place, tinkered around, played with Abby, and started the movie. It's an exciting life I lead.

It rained again

2001-06-05T17:00:00-07:00

It rained again last night. The 1 sunny day in the forecast has now been changed to "scattered showers", although now it's warming up. Of course, the warmth makes it humid, so maybe I actually preferred it being cooler.

Last night after work I had to go pick Abby up from the grooming place. She never stopped panting and was shedding like crazy, so we got her hair cut. She looks like a completely different dog. Before she was just a big ball of fluff, but now she's got really short, poofy hair. She's not nearly as cute as she was before.

After that, I came home, watched some TV, and finally finished my new crappy web page. I will now begin a shamless self promotion.

The webpage is at www.hidethecam.com, and is far from complete. I was in a hurry to get it up, since we're having a party on Saturday and I wanted to broadcast it. So, I threw it up there as very bare-bones. You should go and post things in my forum, since no one has yet, and my forum is lonely.

That's the end of my self promotion.

Just as I completely and uploaded the web page, Polk and Liz stopped by. We chatted for a while, and they left as Fabish and Alan got home from their respective jobs.

I had to get up stupidly early today to take Brice to the airport. He's going to visit an exgirlfriend. While he's gone, I also have to take care of his stupid dog. At least Abby will have someone to play with.

I got a

2001-06-06T17:00:00-07:00

I got a phone call this morning from Erin, calling from Columbia College in Chicago about my job. Unfortunately I wasn't here yet to take the call, and she's not there for me to call her back. Ah well, such is life.

So, last night I went over to take care of Brice's dog a few times, and sometime in between the dog trips, I updated hidethecam.com. I did a lot of behind the scenes work which isn't easy to see with the naked eye. The only thing you can see that's different is that the web cam actually works now. It's not streaming, as I would have liked, but it works, and that's what's important.

I also bought Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which I haven't watched yet. It will be good.

Tonight my parents, my sister, Robert, and my little cousin Kirk are coming to my apartment for dinner. Since my web cam is now working, you can go to hidethecam and watch the fun, fun stuff that will no doubt be happening. Or something.

Well here's the

2001-06-07T17:00:00-07:00

Well, here's the details on the exciting night I had last night.

I went immediately from work to Brice's place, to take care of his dog. Now, he's got a roommate, but he works kind of long hours, so I go and take her out after work and at around 10. Since I have to be at work by 9, I don't walk her in the morning, so I left a note for his roommate asking nicely if he could walk her before work. He replied with a snobby remark about how it wasn't his job to take care of the dog, and that's why Brice asked me to do it. Then he said to leave the dog in Brice's room and not let her roam around the house. I thought that was really cruel, since it's a big dog who needs her exercise, so I let her out in the house anyway. I'm cool like that.

Then I went back to my place, and my parents and little cousin Kirk stopped by. We watched The Matrix (Kirk's choice), and by that time I already had to go back to Brice's.

More behind the scenes work on hidethecam has been done, although I'm getting more and more hits per day, so I'm thinking maybe I need to do some REAL updates to it that people can see. Yesterday I got 89 hits, which is quite a few, considering the site has been up about 4 days and I haven't really promoted it at all. At the rate of new visitors I'm getting per day, I should be a .com millionaire by the end of the month.

No big plans for the evening... originally we were going to clean and set up for the party, but plans have been changed, and we will do that tomorrow sometime. Tonight the apartment will be mine, all mine. I'll probably watch a movie and work on my webpage and rest for tomorrow night, which will be nuts.

The weekend. The

2001-06-10T17:00:00-07:00

The weekend.

The weekend was fun and exciting, all at the same time. Well, not so much Friday. On Friday I just kicked back and watched a movie all by myself. I needed a night like that. I love my roommates and all, but I also like being alone sometimes.

Saturday was a lot of fun. You can read all about the party on my updates at hidethecam. Before the party we had a little cookout.

The aftermath of the party is not documented well (or at all) by hidethecam, so I'll go ahead and bitch about it for a couple of hours now.

The place was trashed. Beer was spilled everywhere, my model Camaro was broken, my cool UCCS beer mug was shattered, but my hidden camera and remote controls made it through the party okay, that was okay. Me and Fabish spent about 3 or 4 hours cleaning up the half-full plastic cups and carpet stains, and vacuuming and tossing out the empy bottles and everything else. Alan slept. We left the dishes for him to wash, figuring that would be fair, but they're still piled up on the sink. Such is life.

Yesterday I went to eat with Steph and Molly at Garners. No one was in there, so we had full control of the TV, which was nice. We haven't had that for quite some time there.

No big plans for this evening... I'm really wanting to get hidethecam finished, since I'm getting more and more hits every day. I feel like I'm disappointing my loyal customers, although none have emailed me or joined my forum yet. Speaking of which, join my forum, losers.

Yesterday was absolutely

2001-06-11T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was absolutely frustrating.

Worked sucked, as per usual. I just wanted to go home and get to sleep. I spent most of the day doing mindless busy work and complaining the whole time. Which is fun and all, don't get me wrong.

After work I had to go take care of Brice's dog, then I had to go take care of my own dog, then I had to go to my aunt's. I've been helping her with her computer for the past few months, and it's a horrible, horrible experience every time. I'm a pretty patient guy, but I absolutely hate going over everything 2,000 times before she pretends to understand, only to ask me about it 3 seconds later. But such is life.

Finally I got to go home, and I had a message from Steph. I called her up, and we went out to eat at good old Long John Silvers. Here's a weird story. We were in Circuit City looking at DVDs, and I see one in the bargain section... Little Shop of Horrors. Now obviously I'm pretty excited at this point... I love that movie, and I think it's because I have a strange fascination with Rick Moranis and his movies, especially Honey I Shrank the Kids. But I digress. So here's Little Shop of Horrors in the bargain section for $7. I grab it off the shelf, expecting to see Steve Martin and Rick Moranis, but who do I see but... Jack Nicholson? Confused, I flip the case over. Apparently this was Roger Corman's first movie, and I'm a pretty big fan of Roger's B-rated cult classics. It was made in 1960, starred Jack, and inspired the Broadway musical that inspired the 1986 film, which was actually a remake of this one. How nutty. I haven't gotten a chance to watch it, but I'm more curious than I can even express in words.

So, today Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? comes out on DVD. Steph and I are going to watch that tonight. All of you should watch too.

Ah, in more depressing news, hidethecam's hits are going down, down, down. I have to finish that thing and get to promoting quick.

Jeep tire problems.

2001-06-12T17:00:00-07:00

I got bigger tires for my Jeep a few weeks ago, and ever since, one has been leaking air slowly. It was on my list of things to fix, but it was also a tad low on my list since it was a really slow leak and all. Every couple of days, I'd have to spend 5 minutes at one of those air pumps at a gas station and be on my way. But yesterday I was walking out to my car after work and saw my tire was almost flat.

I was even a bit scared to drive it across the street on it. But, I did, since it was really my only choice. I spent $4 and about 45 minutes at the air pump, only to get my tire up to a whooping 9 psi. It should have been about 35. So, I took the back roads at slow speeds back to my place and got on my phone to see if I could find someone who had an air compressor I could use. My dad has one, but he also lives about 15 miles away and I didn't really trust a tire with 9psi to go for 15 miles. I called Missy (actually, I only talked to her parents), Steph (actually, I only talked to her mom), and John Zarr (actually, I only talked to his mom). John's mom had one I could use, although it sucked, it did the job. I had a nice long talk with his mom, who is a really nice lady, but really talkative. Her daughter and my good friend died in a car accident almost 2 years ago, and we talked about the anniversary of her death that's coming up soon. July 5th was the accident, and she died on July 8th, if memory serves. That was 2 years ago now... if she hadn't gotten in that car accident, she'd be finishing up with ICC and heading off to a 4 year school right now. She'd be spending this summer making sure she had some furniture to use for her apartment, finding a roommate, working to earn some extra cash, registering for classes... strange to think.

So, after that I went home, and Steph came over, and we watched Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. I started The Little Shop of Horrors, but got tired and went to sleep halfway through.

And that was my evening.

A friend of

2001-06-13T17:00:00-07:00

A friend of mine, Brice, has been spending the last few weeks preparing to move to California. He's doing this for several reasons... to finish school, pay off his huge debt to some credit card companies, and to run away from a lawsuit coming his way if he sticks around here.

Some of the reasons are great, noble reasons. Some of them suck. But still, you have to respect him for doing what he's doing.

He's selling all his stuff... every little toy and gadget he's collected throughout the years. He used to have a better home theater than I did, and now it's reduced to a TV and DVD player. He's throwing every single thing he owns into his truck and leaving for San Jose at the end of the month.

Man, I'd love to do that. I feel like I'm just sort of wasting away here. I lived in Chicago for 2 years, and moved back here for personal reasons, all of which are gone now. Before, I hated my job to pieces, but at least I had a wonderful social life to keep me going. Now I don't have that. So what's keeping me here anymore? I'm not too close to my family, and I have maybe 2 good friends these days, one of which lives in Colorado the majority of the year. I can't sit around in Peoria just rotting, ya know?

It's time for a change, I think. What that change is, and when it's coming... I don't know. Time will tell.

Yesterday I took

2001-06-13T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday I took my lunch hour and used it to go to K-Mart and pick up a mini-air compressor for my leaky tire. Of course, now it doesn't need one. It hasn't lost any air since.

So anyway, after work I went straight to Brice's to drop off his keys I used to take care of his dog, then I went straight home. Fabish had the day off, so he happily greeted me. Me, him, and KJ went to dinner at Damon's, although we had to sit in the boring part since that's where his girlfriend was working. Ah well.

After that, Fabish and I finished watching Little Shop of Horrors, which was absolutely great. Fabish described perfectly, so I'll use his words. "It was like watching a high school play. Only worse." Jack Nicholson was in it a whopping 4 minutes, tops. The acting was terrible, the directing was worse.... I won't even get started on the writing. It was only 73 minutes, and only $7, so I can't say I felt too cheated by the movie.

I threw in Cast Away and we started to watch that, but I had to call it a night somewhere in the middle. I was really tired, and tonight I think I'll be going to Gorman's, so I had to rest up.

Ah last night.

2001-06-14T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, last night.

Alan works at the Peoria Airport, and its his job to watch the weather and call it into the pilots and whatever, so when I see him, I ask him for the lastest weather updates. Usually this is just because I want to know when it will rain, so I know the best time to wash my car or so I can leave the top down a few days. Well, on Wednesday he told me it would be raining last night. But on my way home from work, I had the top down and the skies were crystal clear... not a cloud in them. I figured Alan was wrong, so I was planning on leaving my top down that night. So, I go into the apartment and start to finish up Cast Away, when, not even 20 minutes later, I hear this horrible wind blowing around outside. It sounded almost like rain. So I run out to my Jeep and start putting the top back up, which proved to be very difficult with all the wind. Dirt was flying everywhere, right into my eyes and into the various zippers I had to zip. But, I got the top up just as it started to sprinkle, and a few seconds later, it was a full blown hurricane. On my way into the apartment, the crazy old lady who lives in my building was just watching me and shaking her head. That lady freaks me out.

So, after that little adventure, I watched some TV until Steph called, and we chatted for a while. Then Angie called, cancelling our plans to go to Gormans. Then I guilted her into going. Then Brice called. Then I went to Angie's to pick up Steph, and we went to Gormans. It was a good time... it was me, Brice, Steph, Fuller, Callahan, Mullens, some guy named Andy, some girl named Jamie, and after work, Fabish stopped by. I had a few beers, a few hot wings, and a few cheeseballs. It was fun.

Then I went to sleep, despite a party that was going on in the apartment above mine. I fell asleep pretty quickly, which is rare, but I woke up again at around 3 am, and for some reason, it's always harder for me to go back to sleep than to go to sleep the first time. So, I laid there doing nothing for like 45 minutes, listening to the horrible music from the party upstairs.

I had this dream last night though... I dreampt I was living in this huge penthouse apartment with the devil and one of his henchmen. I didn't really fit in, but I was trying so hard for them to like me, but it always rubbed me the wrong way when they would go out together and leave me alone. Well, one night I helped the devil set a trap in the front door of the apartment building. It would trap the unsuspecting victims in there, and the devil would kill them later. I was fine with his plan, until it started trapping people I knew. It trapped one girl who I've never seen before, but in the dream, she was one of my best friends. I tried to help her out of the trap, but nothing was working. I found a scrap of paper on the ground that said "1113", and I figured it was some sort of code to get her out. I told her what to do, but instead of waiting for her to get out, I ran back up to the penthouse and waited, and in a matter of minutes, she was at my penthouse door. I got really upset, saying that she should have run away when she got out instead of coming deeper into the building. When the devil came back, I had to hide her in a closet and lower her out of my window. I freed a couple more people that night, all with similar results. I have no idea what any of this means.

The boredom of work has overcome me.

2001-06-14T17:00:00-07:00

I've been here about 6 hours now, with 2 to go until I can leave for the weekend. I've accomplished some things so far today. I've just been assigned a full interactive CD Rom, to be done completely in Flash so it's easily ported to Mac, PC, web, and DVD. It's a whole new thing as far as our company is concerned, so they expect me to be all excited about it being assigned to me. But I'm not. Today I did 3 designs for the user interface for them to either approve or make revisions to. Exciting stuff, I tell you.

But anyway, this entry is already rambling. I guess that's sort of the point, because I'm so bored and it's something to do for a little while, at least.

So, a week or 2 ago I was driving Brice to the airport to go visit one of his exgirlfriends. Now, Brice isn't the type of guy I would normally look up to. He's annoying, messy, pisses off his friends, he's about $65,000 in debt... I could go on, but I won't. The point is that, despite all this stuff, there's a lot of times when I look up to him over anyone else in world.

So, back to the story. We're driving to the airport and I make some rude remark about how he's going to see his exgirlfriend who wants nothing to do with him. It was a bit inappropriate and uncalled for, but on the other hand, that should be expected from me. He went on to say some really nice things about this exgirlfriend and just sort of spilled his guts about it. What he feels is absolutely genuine, and I was stupid to doubt that for even a second. He's completely able to realize his feelings, admit them, and act on them. This is something I've never really been fully capable of. With me, there's a certain amount of shame that goes along with any feeling I have, good or bad. I'm not anxious to admit them or talk about them. Brice is. I respect that about him above anything else. I think he realizes that this particular ex may not feel the same way about him as he does about her, but I also don't think that matters to him.

A few weeks before I drove him to the airport, He spouted off some plans to sell everything he owned and move to San Jose to live with his grandpa. I blew it off at first, because my friends have a tendency to talk big and never act on it. I'm not completely innocent of this either. I can honestly say that I never expected him to follow through with this plan until I walked into his house and saw quite a bit of stuff was missing. It hit me then... he wasn't bullshitting me. He was absolutely going to sell everything he owned, pack some clothes into a suitcase, and move across the country. I mean, it's not the first time he's done that. He's from Alaska originally, and he jumped into a truck at age 18, drove thousands of miles by himself only to arrive in a place he had never even visited before to set up this new life. If you think about it, that's pretty amazing.

So, now he's doing it again. His huge entertainment center and home theater that used to be better than mine was reduced to a little TV and DVD player last time I saw it. Now I think even the DVD player is gone. This guy likes his toys just as much, if not more, than I do, and he's giving it all up to start again. That's fucking awesome.

Ever since I saw that little TV sitting on a coffee table where there used to be piles of stereo equipment, I've been wanting to do nothing but follow in Brice's footsteps. I want to leave Peoria. I've done that before, even when quite a few people didn't expect to me. I stayed away longer than anyone expected me to. I came home for personal reasons which don't apply anymore. So what's stopping me? Yeah, I've joked around and said the thing that's holding me back is a TV set that's too big to carry anywhere. While that may be true, it's no excuse for staying in a city that has nothing to offer me anymore.

I've had this job for almost a year now. I've never really liked it... just different degrees of hate. Sometimes I don't hate it much, most times I hate it a lot. A few months ago, the thing that made my job bareable was a fucking amazing social life. I don't think I ever spent a night at home by myself, and when I did, it was usually planned out in advance, and it was usually exactly what I wanted to be doing that night. Nowadays I think I do it too often. I hope anyone who has made it this far in my overly dull post doesn't mistake this for complaining... I'm not. I don't hate watching TV by myself, although I'd certainly like someone to share it with. I used to have those people, but I lost them somehow.

A good friend of mine was down in the dumps a while back because he sees people he went to school with graduating and getting good jobs. Meanwhile, the chump is working in Chicago. Granted, I was working in downtown Chicago at age 18 (nudge nudge), but now, at 21, I'm back where I started. Yeah, I graduated, and yeah, I make more money now. But I haven't moved on. I haven't grown as much as I would have liked to.

Now, I'm going to toot my own horn for a little while.

Ever since I was a kid, I've loved 2 things: drawing and movies. That's it. I never had hopes and dreams of becoming a fireman or a policeman, or an astronaut, or any of those things kids want to be. I always wanted to be a cartoonist. That changed slightly... in junior high I wanted to be an animator, in high school I wanted to be a comic book artist, and in college I wanted to work in movies. Well, I'm doing none of those things. I'm a fairly talented an resourceful guy, and this job I'm in right now is an insult, really. I want to do something that challenges me, and I want to work with people who are younger than 45, and I want to make something that people will see and like. I'm fully capable of doing that, but not here. Not in Peoria.

It's time for a change. I want to leave, and I want to do my own thing. I want to be like my new fucking hero Brice, or even Wolford. Wolford, dude, you may lot love living where you're living as much as you thought you would, but at least you're doing it. You're my hero too.

Maybe at the end of the summer I can start selling all my possessions and make my way... away. Somewhere. I've spent some time looking at production houses in New York and LA on the internet, and even checked to see how much rent would set me back, out of idle curiousity. FYI- rent in NY and LA is WAY more expensive than Peoria. I just signed on for another year at my apartment, so I was planning on staying until then, but hot damn it, I don't want to. I'm too frustrated all the time here. Even if I fail, I can come back to P-town and beg for my job back, and if all else fails, I can always become a male prostitute or porn star. Or maybe I could even deal drugs. I hear there's good money in that.

Anyone who has made it through this entry without going to the bathroom or losing interest, I applaud you. Oh, and one more thing. I want it to be fairly clear that I'm not depressed about anything contained above. I'm not in a "my life sucks" slump or anything. It's just sort of a "something needs to change" mood... discontent, frustration... nothing a beer and a night out with some friends won't change, for the weekend at least. I just hate my job.

So, plans for the weekend to end this post.... Jamie is coming up to watch some movies. I'm having a hard time figuring out if she's coming up to visit me or Alan. I guess it doesn't matter, except that it does. I don't know what else will be happening. Probably nothing.

Legally Blonde

2001-06-17T17:00:00-07:00

Good weekend for yours truly. On Friday I got home a little late due to some overtime here at worky-work, and I had a message from Steph. I called her right back, and we ended up going out to eat at Lou's Drive In, and then wasted a good few hours deciding on what to do with the rest of our night. Finally we decided on mini-golfing, although we wanted to go with more people, so we called people we knew, and were greeted with mostly answering machines, but every once in a while we got a hold of someone who didn't want to golf with us. So, we just sat on my front porch and drank beer until Fabish got home, and as it turned out, he and his girlfriend wanted to golf with us. So, we all went golfing, then we went to the driving range where I made a fool out of myself. I could hit the ball really far, but I was also really inconsistent. Ah well.

After our golf experience, Fabish went to Amy's, Steph went home, and me and Alan watched TV until I fell asleep. Exciting stuff. Saturday I spent a lot of the day running network cable from my room into Alan and Fabish's, so they could share my fast connection. I bought some of the wrong supplies at Best Buy, so I'll need to return them, but unfortunately they were already closed when I stopped by yesterday. But other than a wrong router, the network is ready to go.

Saturday night, me, Steph, Alan, and Brice all went to visit Angie at Jubilee Cafe East (don't get me started on that nonsense), where Mullens and Andy were already waiting. Mullens left to go to sleep, and everyone else headed off to Steamboat Days. Steamboat Days absolutely sucks. It's horrible every year. It's too crowded, dirty, and smelly, and everyone is rude and no one knows how to walk. The food is too expensive and the rides suck. But we go every year, because it's something to do I guess. We rode the ferris wheel, got some Lemon Shake ups, and left.

Angie and Andy left our group, and the rest of us went back to my place, where Fabish had just gotten off work. We drank some beer, and somewhere around midnight, Alan decided to dye his hair. He's got really short hair, and he mixed a big bottle of the dye, so after deciding he was going to use about 5% of what he had mixed, he asked if I wanted to dye my hair too. With a few beers in me, it seemed like a really good idea, so I did. I guess my hair is too dark to go right to blonde, and it usually takes a few applications. Unfortunately, the first application made my head burn after about half an hour, so I opted to not get another one. That makes my hair more of a strawberry blonde than a real one. It also changes color from red to white depending on the light. It's pretty cool.

So, Sunday, Father's Day. I had to get up early and head out to Wildlife Prarie Park, where we wandered around, looked at some animals, then got some food. I figured Father's Day would be spent the same way every Father's Day is in my family... me and my dad were going to wash and wax our cars, check air pressure in the tires, change the oil.. ya know, guy stuff. So imagine my surprise when they told me they were headed off to Bloomington after lunch for a flea market. I spent most of the day by myself at my parent's doing 5 loads of laundry and cleaning out my Jeep. I also dropped it off at the mechanics and had them check the leaky tire (broken valve stem for those of you concerned), and by the time my parents got back, I was packing up to go.

So, after that, Brice and I did some shopping we had to do, then watched Simpsons, ate some pizza, and of course watched the new episode of Jackass.

And that was my weekend. Good and busy.

Me and Brice

2001-06-18T17:00:00-07:00

Me and Brice went out to dinner last night. I got a lot done in setting up my network, but it's not fully functional yet. I talked on the phone. I talked to Fabish. That was my night.

So, since this entry is so lame, I have decided to post some recent, unfinished artwork. Now, it's usually a rule of mine to not let people see a piece until it's fully finished, but these are different. They're more personal pieces, so they won't mean anything to you when they mean a lot to me. There's also some figure drawings which will never be finished, so no harm in showing you those. I've kind of lost motivation on the 3 personal pieces... I'm not in the same frame of mind I was when I started them, which makes it incredibly hard to finish them. But now I'm rambling. Here's the drawings.

the amazing faceless woman - Here's a drawing I did in one of my recent figure drawing classes. I didn't have time to get to drawing the face though...
melissa, the girl with no eyes - Here's Melissa, the girl I always draw in that figure drawing class. I didn't have time to draw her eyes in. But you get the idea.
screaming guy and another guy - Here's one of the aforementioned more personal pieces. I started it while I was really pissed off, which I think is pretty obvious.
the barb painting - Anyone who has asked knows the story behind this, and I don't feel like typing it out. It's a painting I've been working on for a long time. I also put my finger in front of the lense when I took this. Deal with it.
what the hell is that? - Some people see a face, a rock, a mouse, a ghost... whatever. It was drawn while I was really confused.
melissa, the girl with one toe - Melissa again, but I didn't have as much time to draw her this time. Amazingly enough, I got to her eyes this time. It's a shame I didn't get to her toes.

I updated my

2001-06-19T17:00:00-07:00

I updated my default picture with a really bad picture I took last night in a dark room with a crappy web cam. To see the picture (and my new weird hair) in all it's glory, click here.

So, last night Missy called. We went to dinner, then watched the Real World Reunion, then she went home. I played with the dog for a little while, dicked around online, and went to bed. Exciting stuff, I tell you.

Tonight I will do a lot of work to hidethecam. I know, I've been slacking lately... but actually have been doing a little work on it every night, just not uploading anything because it's not complete yet. Soon, though.... soon.

Last night after

2001-06-20T17:00:00-07:00

Last night, after working for 8 hours on my computer at work, I went home and worked for 3 more on my computer at home. Fun stuff. But, I got a lot of stuff done on hidethecam.com, so that's a good thing. Me and Brice went to eat at Pizza Hut, and later in the evening Steph and Molly came over. 'Twas good times.

So, that's my only report this morning, I'm afraid. It's another busy day at the office. I think all of you should go to hidethecam.com and let me know how it looks and acts on different browsers at different resolutions. Deal? Deal.

The big news for the evening....

2001-06-21T17:00:00-07:00

I'm going to be an uncle. Amazing, no? My sister has been married about a year and a half and I've been pestering her to have kids since they got married. She kept saying she wanted to wait a few years, but I'm so glad she didn't. She's about 9 weeks pregnant, and the baby is due January 9th. How exciting.

In other news, me and Steph went to eat at a Chinese restaurant last night, then Angie came over and we watched part of Raising Arizona, until I got really stupidly tired. Steph went home and I went to bed. That was my night.

Tonight is the last Friday night that Brice will be in town, so we're celebrating with a little get together at my place.

I forgot.

2001-06-21T17:00:00-07:00

I wanted to post a picture of my fortune I got at the Chinese place last night. So, here it is.

It was a

2001-06-24T17:00:00-07:00

It was a good weekend for me.

On Friday, I went right from work to Fabish's parent's place to eat dinner with him and his family to celebrate his 21st birthday. It was a good time. On Friday, Brice and some friends were supposed to come over as a last kind of party with the guy before he leaves, but at the last minute, Fabish got someone to work for him, so he ended up with the night off. Since it was his 21st and all, I thought I should go out to the bars with him, and leave the Brice party for Saturday. So, we did. Brice came along of course, as did Smalley and Brian Kelly, 2 friends of mine from high school that I don't get to see very much. We hit a few bars, including a new one named Roxy's, which was very nice. I ran into a lot of people I knew from high school in there. That was a little strange, but I digress.

So anyway, I didn't get in until around 4 on Saturday morning, so I slept a lot on Saturday. Brice spent the night since he drank himself stupid on Friday, and spent a good long time puking in my front lawn and bathroom.

Saturday night Jamie came over, as did Steph and Brice, and we hung out for a while but Steph had to leave early. At around 10, me, Alan, Jamie, and Brice went to the Jukebox comedy club. That was fun, since Jamie and I both knew a guy who works there who got us in for free. After the show, we went back to visit with him, and we all got to hang out in the backstage area with the 2 comics who just performed. The headliner had been on Leno, Letterman, and opened for Drew Carey on occassion. He was a really nice guy, but kept trying to get me to buy one of his CDs.

After that, we went to a kegger that one of my friends, Emily, was having. It pretty much sucked, and we were only there to say hi. We went back to my place, played cards, listened to some music, and I went to bed earlier than any of the rest of them, at around 3:30.

Sunday, I went down to visit my grandma. That was a sad visit, so I'll leave it at that.

Why is it that during the work week, I can't think of anything I want to do more than move away, and yet, during the weekend, I can't think of any reason why I should? Weird.... But, in thinking about it more, I may stick around until January. It would be my last holiday season with the family, plus I'd get to see my new niece/nephew be born. I think I would feel horrible if I missed that. I'd feel less bad about leaving my roommates, and if I move to LA, it would be my last chance to see snow and have it be cold. That's probably what I'll end up doing.

Last night I

2001-06-25T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I got Steph really pissed off at me, because I called her and her boyfriend hypocrites. Apparently that's not a friendly thing to do, but I'm pretty passionate about that sort of thing.

But, the rest of the night was good. Molly and Steph came over and we just sort of hung out and did nothing in particular. Good, lazy times. That's what summers are for, if you ask me. Which you didn't.

So, I put some statistics links on my page a few nights ago and was monitoring how it was doing through the day. I got almost 200 hits, which is pretty good. Most were from WebTV though, which is a bit strange. I didn't know it was so popular. I wish I didn't have so much to do at work today... I'd love to work on it.

The uneventful life of me.

2001-06-26T17:00:00-07:00

That pretty much says it all.

I spent a lot of my time last night working on hidethecam.com, since I'm getting more and more visitors, and the site was a bit "quirky", to put it lightly. I put in a few hours last night, just to get it working correctly, and it should be up and running like a champ now.

At some point in the evening, I remembered that Unbreakable and Dogma: Special Edition had come out, so I ran to Best Buy to pick them up. Unfortunately Dogma was sold out, so I just got Unbreakable. It was way past my bed time when I got home, so I didn't get a chance to watch it.

Tonight I'm supposed to go out with Missy, although I don't know if that will happen. Tomorrow night is Brice's last night here, so we're going to Garner's.

I haven't put the top back on my Jeep since Sunday night.

The end.

Ah my night

2001-06-27T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, my night last night. It was a good one. Fabish was home when I got home. I really like coming home to an apartment that isn't empty. I don't think I've experienced that while living on my own, ever. With the rare exception that my friends were staying with me in Chicago and waited at my apartment for me to get home from class or something. But it's a nice feeling.

So, me and Missy went out. We planned on seeing a 9:30 movie, but we were both really hungry, so we went out to eat pretty much right when I got home from work. Since we had a few hours to kill inbetween the eating the movie watching, we went mini-golfing (I lost, because I suck), then back to her parent's place to chat with them, and then I tried to give her a little driving lesson. She wasn't so good at driving a stick.

It was a really nice night with her. She's dating some guy named Matt, and was really open and honest about it. They've only been dating for like a week, so it's interesting to hear her talk about it. She asked me lots of questions about my exes (what a list that is, eh?), the party girls, etc. It's really nice to talk to her so open and honestly. It's a feeling I've missed. Me and Missy used to have feelings for each other, you see. Things didn't exactly work out in our favor... certain people who shall remain nameless messed it up. We tried to go back to the way we were before everything, but it didn't work. There was awkwardness and bitterness about the way things didn't work, but I kept trying to pound some sort of friendship out of her. So we didn't end up dating... big deal. Did we have to throw everything away to get anything back? Well, in the end, I think we did. Missy was the one who threw it away, and I was the one who was bitter about it. I was really angry about it for a long time, but look at the good things it brought in the long run. Sometimes we just need distance. Time away. A place to escape. We need to not be bitter, which is extremely hard. Even now, with the whole bitterness thing almost a year in the past, I would have felt kind of uncomfortable if Missy were to bring up the past, when we were both just so upset with each other we couldn't even stand it. The point is, that the year we've spent distancing ourselves from the situation only made us better. It's like we're starting over, not mentioning the things we don't necessarily want to remember. There's no more tension between us, and we're both like how we were when we first met. 5 or 6 years ago... wow. Anyway, we're both just ourselves, with no expectations, no bitterness, no anger, no bad things. And neither of us want to bring up and remember the bad things. We want to focus on the good times we had, and the good times ahead. The good times ahead will be spent as friends and just friends, and we're both okay with that, which is also a new experience for us. It's a level playing field, it's new people, more mature than when they met the first time, more able to deal with each other, and different situations. But now I'm rambling.

So, yeah, that was that. We saw The Fast and the Furious. A quick review... sure: Wait 'til it comes out on video.

But the most interesting part of the evening happened when I got home. I was sleeping soundly in my bed when I suddenly woke up at around 4:30 in the morning. I don't know if any of you have felt that feeling when you wake up, and you're already startled, and you don't really know why you're startled. Well, that's what I was feeling. I started running things through my head, like "Did Abby knock something over?" or "Did Alan slam his door?", but I laid there for almost a minute with no clues as to why I was awake. Then it happened. I heard some weird flapping circling my room, and I kind of sat up a little bit to see if I could catch a glimpse of what it was. Right when I sat up, a huge freaking bat flew right into my face. I started making those muffled screaming noises that people make when they try to scream, but don't want to open their mouth. I also flared my arms around like a girl to get this beast away from me. Finally the beast retreated, and I laid in bed, wondering how to handle the situation. I decided the best idea would be to turn the light on, get the bat to fly around the room, and throw a blanket over him and take him outside. So, I got out of bed slowly and crept towards the lightswitch. For some reason, I was walking all hunched over like I was hiding from this blind creature. I'm an idiot when I'm tired, I guess. Anyway, I turned on the light and started to make my way to the closet for an extra blanket when the bat started flying around the room again. I knew I couldn't make it to the closet without him attacking me, so I stood in the corner and watched him circle, in the hope that he'd go back to his corner and I could get my blanket. Well, 2 or 3 minutes of constant circling, and I ran out of patience. I took my shirt off and waited for him to circle near me, and when he did, I whacked at him with it. It took 3 tries, but finally I hit him to the ground. I think I broke his wing or something in the process, and he was just sort of laying there twitching. So, I grabbed whatever I could find and I crushed him to death. Sort of cruel, I know, but don't bats carry diseases or something? I mean, I could have died. I say it was self defense. So I took his little bat body and tossed it outside. Afterwards I had a hard time getting back to sleep, not because I was scared, but more like I was really excited. It was a bit of an adreneline rush, I guess.

Yeah, so that was my night.

It was Brice's

2001-06-28T17:00:00-07:00

It was Brice's last night in town last night. Me, him, and Fabish ate some Chinese food, Brice went home to pack, Fabish and I went back and drank, Fabish left, Brice came over, Brice left, Alan got home, Jamie called Alan, then I went to sleep. No bats attacked me last night. Anytime no bats attack me, I will consider it a good night from now on. It's a new standard.

Ramblings

2001-07-01T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so I'm bored enough to ramble now. I'm going to ramble about something I'm fairly excited about right now.

So, for a while, I had planned on leaving the state in early September. Then I got the news that I'll be an uncle soon, so I decided to stick it out here until January. Well, not even a week later, we had an all employee meeting at my company.

Since I've worked here, we've had exactly 0 profiting months. None. Not even one. So, after a year of the company losing money, they've decided to take some considerable action.

They presented us with 2 options.

Work at home. If they get enough production people to work at home, they can move into a smaller building. That means less rent for them. For me, it means I make my own hours, and I don't have to come into the office every day. The bad part is that I'd have to get a new computer for home. I just bought a new computer 3 or 4 months ago, but it was kind of a low priced, crappy one. I just bought it for email and webpages, since I have this monster machine here at work and I didn't need anything fancy. Well, I would need a fancy computer. They'd supply me with all the software I need, but the computer would probably set me back at least $2000.
Free Agent. This would be amazing. I would no longer be an employee here. For jobs that came in where they needed a 3D or Flash animator, they'd call me and we'd negotiate price. This is an awesome deal, since right now they pay me about $16/hour. If I were to go free agent, I could ask about $60-80 an hour. Of course, I wouldn't be working 40 hours a week. I'd be lucky to work 15 or 20 hours a week, even if I sold my services to other companies. Plus I wouldn't have any insurance, so I'd have to pay health and dental insurance myself. And taxes. Plus I'd still need that monster computer, and I would have to buy my own software. That would mean an initial investment of like $10 grand. That's a lot of money, but if I got it, that's an exciting prospect. My own hours, my own vacation, sleep in every day, work when I want to work... damn.

This came at a good time, when my discontent moods come more and more often. I feel like I'm wasting myself, trying to be a 9-5 business man, when I am certainly not a 9-5 business man. But things will get better, hopefully soon. My 1 year evaluation is coming up soon, and I'll be discussing all these points with them. We'll see how that turns out.

The Weekend

2001-07-01T17:00:00-07:00

It was an alright weekend. On Friday me, Fabish, and a few of his old roommates went to a bar and drank some beer. On Saturday I didn't do much at all... just sort of sat around and watched TV. Steph came over, and me, Alan and her made some burgers, watched Dogma, and Best in Show. Sunday was even lazier... Steph came over again, and we watched Simpsons and Jackass. I also spied on the old lady in my building and got great footage for hidethecam.com. It's not posted yet though... you'll have to wait.

We played a lot of Twisted Metal Black this weekend. That's a fun game.

I didn't do

2001-07-02T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't do much last night. I did an update to hidethecam.com, then played some video games and things. I spent the majority of the evening trying to track down Premiere 6.0 so I could capture some video for the site, but illegal software is getting harder to come across these days, I guess. It took a while, but I finally got it. I'll hopefully be doing that tonight.

My sister was planning a cookout for this evening. I don't know if that will work out or not, on account of the weather. It's all dark and stormy, and we have a tornado watch on right now. As I was getting in my car, I thought "Good, it's not a nice day today, so I'll feel better about being at work." Well, I was wrong. Right now I really want to sit outside and watch it rain.

But anyway, if it's still raining tonight, and I'm guessing it will be, the fireworks will be called off, and I'll just go home and not do anything tonight. Actually, I'd kind of prefer that.

Happy 5th of

2001-07-04T17:00:00-07:00

Happy 5th of July everyone. I hope everyone had a good 4th.

Did I? Sure. But first, my 3rd of July. I didn't do much. Steph and I went to Best Buy and got Office Space and Dracula 2000, then watched Office Space. Funny movie. I feel SO related to poor Peter lately. Later, Fabish's girlfriend Amy came by and brought some friends... Bridget and Myra to watch a movie. KJ also stopped by. So, we watched Unbreakable, then I went to bed.

The 4th was really fun. Fabish and I cooked some steaks on the grill outside, and later a bunch of people stopped by and we ordered pizza. At around 8 we went down to the river. It was me, Alan, Jamie, Steph, Molly, Callahan, Angie, Becky, Shea, and Becky's boyfriend, who I think was named Jeremy. Angie was being a huge bitch the whole night, so me and Steph decided to ditch them. It was easy in the huge crowd. I felt bad about it for like 15 seconds, but I got over it pretty quickly.

The fireworks were awesome. For the past few years, they've tried to time the fireworks to the music, but I never remembered it matching so well. The announcer said Peoria's fireworks are in the top 5% of the country's, which I tend to believe. The fireworks in Chicago are nowhere close to as cool as Peoria's. He also said that more than 150,000 people were on the river front, which I believe. It was so amazingly crowded.

Last year, we all got awesome seats right on the dock. We just laid down and watched the fireworks, which seemed to be right above us, and dangled our feet over the edge. It seemed really dangerous, and I was shocked that they let us be down there. This year, there was all sorts of cops to keep us away. Poor us.

Yeah, it was a good day for me. As I was getting in my car this morning, a huge crow flew on top of a nearby garage, looked at me, and made that weird "gah gah" noise that crows make. Is that bad luck?

Well after a

2001-07-05T17:00:00-07:00

Well, after a long, hard, and extremely frustrating day at work, I went home in the hopes of doing absolutely nothing for the remainder of the day. I had to unwind and get prepared for today, which will undoubtedly be just as frustrating as yesterday. It already is as frustrating, actually. 18 minutes into it, 8 hours, 42 minutes to go.

So, after getting home last night I talked to Fabish for a while, then his sister and KJ came over, but they left for a baseball game, so I watched Dogma with the commentary on. Good stuff. It was exactly what I needed and wanted to do last night.

My parents stopped by, and I vented to them about how much my job sucked. I told them how incredibly close I was to just up and quitting yesterday, and while they weren't pleased, they seemed to understand my situation. I don't think they would blame me one bit if I got pissed, quit, and was out of a job for a few weeks. They'd support me, I bet. At 21, I don't think I would feel bad mooching off my parents. I'm still young. I can do that.

Why is it so cool in July in Illinois? Weird.

Bat Attack, part 2

2001-07-06T17:00:00-07:00

While it's still fresh in my mind, I'd like to tell you a story about the 2nd bat attack in as many weeks.

Fabish and I were just getting back from seeing AI, which I will update you on later, don't worry. I was walking to the back door of the apartment, which is just off a laundry room. I was talking to Fabish about nothing in particular as I put my key in the door and turned. I glanced over to my immediate left for a second and saw a big brown blotch. I didn't really know what it was, so I put my head in close to examine. As I did, it twitched a little bit, and I jumped back about 4 feet and yelled "Holy Fuck! It's a fucking bat!" I don't really know what was running through Fabish's head, but he put his face as close as I just had, then he jumped back too. He only jumped back about 2 feet, and he didn't yell nearly as much as I did.

So, we stood there, examining our options. I was all for killing another bat. But Fabish thought it looked cool, so he was intent on getting it out of the building alive. Using my method of taking of your shirt and hitting bats with it, he took off his shirt, and hit the bat with it. Unlike my bat run in, the bat did NOT, repeat, did NOT, fly around the laundry room. Instead he dropped, not flew, but dropped, a few feet onto a nearby table. Fabish then proceeded to grab a bucket and put the bat inside, using his shirt to cover the top of it. I stood back in horror, remembering my own run in and the horrible things it had done to my brain.

With the bat in a bucket, we made our way outside. As we exited, I maintained that we should just kill it. Fabish had changed his "it looks cool" arguement into the much more effective "It may be Batman or Dracula" arguement, which was much more effective, I must say. He uncovered the bucket, and we shielded our eyes, fully expecting the bat to fly out and attack one or both of us. Just like the plot of AI (foreshadowing of a not-yet made post) it was anticlimatic, and no bat flew out. In fact, nothing happened. I told Fabish to just fling the bat out of the bucket, and it would surely fly away.

He flung the bucket like a champ, and the bat took off. For a split second. Then it crashed to the ground and limped around a bit, not unlike the bat I knocked out of the air. The thing was obviously injured, and I refused to take it in as a pet, as per Fabish's suggestion. We sat there staring at this stupid bat that was on the ground for a few minutes before the crazy old lady walked out.

I wish I would have had my camera with me, as this would have been great footage. She mumbled on and on for like 5 minutes, and I couldn't make out one word. Finally I just started laughing uncontrollably. It's really horrible, I know, but the whole situation ending with an insane lady blabbering to us was just too much for me to handle.

We listened to the old lady for almost a minute before just giving up on understanding her and walking inside, ignoring the rest of whatever it is she was saying. Fabish said he made out "bat" "weather" and "inside". I didn't get any of that.

That was my adventure this evening. Later I'll update you on the entire events, which were just as... um... eventful.

This weekend was

2001-07-08T17:00:00-07:00

This weekend was the most boring weekend I've ever had, and I loved every single second of it.

On Friday, me, Alan, and Steph went out to eat at Chili's, but they both had plans afterwards, so I just went home and watched some TV. Fabish and I decided to go to AI, and we called KJ and Sean to go with us. AI sucked. It was horrible.

It's a shame too, because I used to have a lot of respect for Spielberg. But this movie was awful. Stanley Kubrick wrote the movie over the course of 20 years, and never made it because he didn't think he could do it justice. Kubrick dies, Spielberg takes the script, rewrites it, films it, and gets it on the screen in the course of 2 years. What the fuck is that? No offense to Spielberg, but he doesn't hold a light to Kubrick as far as movie making goes. It's not even close. Kubrick had this movie making 'philosophy' sort of, where he'd film a movie and think "Well, if the audience doesn't get it, I don't give a shit." For an example, watch A Clockwork Orange or 2001. Spielberg caters to the lowest common denominator in his movies. He aims for a PG13 rating and millions of dollars at the box office. Spielberg should not have made Kubrick's movie. No one should have. Kubrick's script was hard core, with maybe, MAYBE, an R rating. Spielberg watered it down, and had this fucking stupid narrator explain the story and it's moral issues to us every 15 or 20 minutes. It was lame.

Then the movie ended. Or so I thought. Here comes a spoiler. If you plan on seeing this movie, don't read on. Or do read on, so you won't bother seeing it. So, the movie has been playing for almost 2 hours now, and it's over. Nope. 'Fraid not. Spielberg's writing shows through at this point, with his hard on for aliens. ALIENS. Fucking aliens come into the end of the movie. At first, they speak with subtitles. Now you see where Spielberg's "Oh shit, we have to get this out by summer" philosophy kicks in. The aliens looked like some little kid drew them with a crayon. Their spaceship was, I shit you not, a cube. A fucking cube. A fucking cube, flying through the air. They talk in subtitles for like 2 minutes, then all of the sudden start speaking in english. What in the hell is going on? And why are there aliens in this movie about a robot boy trying to become a real boy?

Oh, and the end? The robot boy cries and goes to sleep. I'm guessing this was because he turned into a real boy... the only 'mystery' that Spielberg leaves us with. That's the gayest ending in history. Kubrick never wanted a happy ending. He didn't want AI to be a fairy tale. The happy ending made me want to vomit. The sad ending (ironically, an hour before the REAL ending) was much better, and I bet anyone out there that's where Kubrick's version ended. Before the god damn aliens, which looked like a combination of ET and the aliens from Close Encounters. Coincidence? I think not. All he needed to do was give the aliens some Jaws teeth and an Indiana Jones hat and the alien would sum up Spielberg's entire career.

So anyway, it was extremely disappointing. After that, I got attacked by a bat again (read previous entry), and went to sleep.

Saturday, I went out to my parents and I was extremely productive. I did 3 loads of laundry, and in between, I changed the oil in my Jeep. I also changed the spark plugs, spark plug wires, distributer, rotor, and serpentine belt. None of those had been changed since it was new, so it really needed them. I cut my hand up pretty good in the process. It was also about 200 degrees outside, and I was working under the hood of a black car. It wasn't pleasant. Sweat was pouring off my face and evaporating when it hit the engine block.

Saturday night I stayed in my room since Fabish and his girlfriend were occupying the living room. It was excellent.

Sunday I didn't do anything at all. I messed around with my computer, but never completed the task I set out to complete. At 7, Steph came over to watch Simpsons and Jackass. We got Avanti's. That was my weekend.

I promise in

2001-07-09T17:00:00-07:00

I promise in this post I will not say anything bad about Spielberg.

I didn't do anything last night. I watch the Welcome Back, Kotter True Hollywood Story on E!. I did some dishes. I played on the internet.

Abby has fleas. We're going to have to get that fixed.

Bat Attack, part 3

2001-07-10T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, you guessed it. Unfortunately the 3rd bat attack sets me back to past my bed time, so I'll have to explain tomorrow. I will just say one thing: There is no way, no fucking way, that bats are an endangered species.

More tomorrow.

You're on the edge of your seat, I know.

I'm back. Still

2001-07-10T17:00:00-07:00

I'm back. Still alive and whatnot.

I didn't do much last night. I made Mac & Cheese. I also got the strangest telemarketing call I ever have had. It was from MCI, who wanted me to switch to them from Ameritech. I listened to their schpiel, asked some questions, and decided to go ahead and make the switch. At some point during our conversation I mentioned having 2 roommates, so in the dead time she asked "So... 2 roommates. You must be a young guy." I told her I was 21, and it turns out that she was 20. So as she entered my information into the computer and waited for results or whatever, we talked about her college, her roommates (2 guys and 3 girls), the things we did on the 4th of July, our weekend plans, etc. It was all very strange, but I imagine telemarketers get hung up on and treated like shit so often that some pleasant conversation made her day. I know what it's like to have days where no one treats you like a human being.

So, I watched the John Holmes story on E!, talked to Alan and Fabish a bit, then went back in my bedroom to check my email and fiddle around with my computer. After about 20 minutes I heard something odd in my ceiling, sort of like scratching. My bedroom has a drop ceiling, with some of the panels removed while we set up and configure our network. I first suspected that another bat had gotten into my room and flown through one of the panels into my drop ceiling. I later dismissed that idea, since that first bat attack was obviously a weird fluke that could never happen twice. I mean, flying through a semi-open window, through my blinds, into my room... it didn't seem possible to happen more than once. I figured it was the dog from the apartment above me scratching on the floor or something and went about my business. After a minute or 2, it became obvious that the noise was obviously wings flapping, as it was moving very quickly around the room (sort of). I went to the living room and grabbed Fabish and Alan to help me trap the stupid thing. We went in my room, but heard no weird sounds. They dismissed it as my paranoia at first, but I insisted. Then I went around the room and pushed up on the drop ceiling panels, until it started flying again. Once it flew over the flourescent light and you could make out the silhouette, and that convinced them. It was funny because we were all just sort of standing there, completely calm, watching the ceiling and following the noises with our eyes. Finally the bat found one of the open panels and got free. It was even funnier to watch all of us go from completely calm staring at a ceiling to completely freaked out and covering our faces. The bat took off into the main living area of the apartment, and as Fabish chased it with a bucket, Alan and I went through the apartment shutting all the doors to the rooms that the bat wasn't in. Finally the bat settled down on our wall and we put the bucket on top of it, slid a piece of cardboard underneath it, and led it outside. For some reason, Fabish wanted to keep it in the bucket until the morning to show his girlfriend. I thought that was a little weird... but whatever. So that was my adventure. Afterwards Fabish noted that the first bat may have been a mother bat that laid eggs in my ceiling, so we'd be fighting this problem all summer. I reminded him that bats don't lay eggs, although he still may have a point. How many bat babies can a bat have at one time? Can they live in a ceiling without a mother? Will they stink if I just let them die up there?

No more bat

2001-07-11T17:00:00-07:00

No more bat stories for you today, unfortunately.

Last night I installed an air conditioner in my room. It took a bit of doing, since my window was weird. I had to "custom make" a weird wooden board so it would stay seated. After completing the job, my landlord told me to remove it. Bah.

Missy and I went out for like an hour, but then she had to go meet with her boyfriend's parents. Then I watched some TV and dreamed about meeting Bruce in less than a week now.

Which reminds me... as a trick for hidethecam.com, I'd like to play a quick practical joke on Bruce and catch his reaction. Any ideas? It would have to take place in the span of like 15 seconds. The only idea I had was to give him a script for a movie I wanted him to star in, written my me. The script would be about 10 pages and written in crayon. But that's a lame idea. I need your help, LJers.

Fabish got his

2001-07-12T17:00:00-07:00

Fabish got his humidor (is that the right spelling?) last night. It came with 25 cigars, so when I got home, Fabish was all excited to go smoke one with me. Unfortunately, our landlord made us get rid of our furniture outside, so we didn't have anywhere to sit.

The only reasonable thing we could do was to go out and buy some more. Since we were running errands anyway, Fabish wanted to get some more fish, and I wanted to pick up Bruce Campbell's book. So we got that done and started looking for furniture. We wanted it to be comfortable, nice looking, and cheap. Unfortunately, that combination doesn't exist. Finally we just decided our best course of action would be to steal some from our parents. We went back to the apartment without furniture.

We ordered Avanti's delivery, and called KJ to come over as Fabish and I sat on the stairs and smoked cigars. After our dinner and a few run ins with the crazy old lady, we went back inside. KJ and Fabish played NHL 2001 on the Playstation, and I watched for a while, but then went back to my bedroom to read Bruce's book. No offense to Bruce, but it put me to sleep pretty quickly. I fell asleep way before my bed time for the first time in a long time.

This will be my last post for a while. I'm meeting Bruce Campbell on Monday and Tuesday, which I'm pretty pumped about. While I'm gone, I need a very important question answered for me... Cigar humidors: are they supposed to keep the cigars moist or dry?

My mouth tastes like crap this morning from that cigar.

My name is Tim, and I have met Bruce Campbell.

2001-07-16T17:00:00-07:00

Or, "My name is Tim, and I have had a very strange and eventful 2 days". You pick the title. This post will get long.

So, from the top. Friday, I did nothing. I just sort of sat around. Fun stuff.

Saturday I stopped by Angie's house and had a horrible time. When I got there, there was about 3 people I knew sitting on the front porch. I didn't really care for any of them. Not even one. Plus there was parents. Parents everywhere, and also younger siblings. Granted, it was for a girl's 21st, but c'mon... why bring the parents and the 11 year old brother? Weird.

I didn't stay long, because I had to be back at the apartment by midnight or so because Jamie and one of her friends was stopping by. I stayed awake, let them in, but when Alan got home, I pretty much went to sleep right then. I was pretty tired, and I had to wake up pretty early to see my grandma on Sunday. Jamie was trying to set me up with the friend she brought along, so I don't think she appreciated it much that I just sort of left after talking to them for only 25 minutes or so. Ah well.

Sunday I went down to visit my grandma. About 3 months ago, they gave her a week to live. She's been doing pretty good considering that, and our trips to visit her are getting much more frequent now... almost every weekend. I go whenever I can, because I would feel horrible if she died right after the time I didn't tag along. I missed my other grandma's last birthday because of a school dance. I've never really stopped regretting that move. My aunt and cousins from Kansas were there, so it was nice to see them. Grandma was better than she was last time I saw her, but it's still so sad to see her, or anyone, like that. She hasn't gotten out of her bed in 2 months or so.

After that, I updated my webpage a little and prepared for my little trip on Monday and Tuesday.

It was a very strange trip. I hadn't been back to Chicago in almost exactly a year. When I left, I was the happiest kid on earth. I lived up there for 2 years, and made the trip back and forth to Peoria many times. I remember dreading the trips to Chicago, but being so happy to come back to Peoria. That feeling of dread hit me this time too, as I first spotted the Sears Tower. My stomach dropped and I felt horrible. I had to remind myself that this time I was choosing to be in Chicago, and there for a really good reason. The whole experience was a bit surreal, driving down streets and looking at buildings that I had seen hundreds of times before, but never in the same light as I was looking at them this time. I'm one year older, but about 200 years wiser. In the last year, I've had tons of ups and downs, tons of new and great experiences, gained and lost friends, improved friendships with others, avoided relationships for no good reason, really.

The hotel I was staying at was right in the neighborhood I lived in my second year. I wandered around a little. It was pretty much the same... some restaurants had new signs, some had closed, but it was all very much the way I left it a year ago. My building looked exactly the same, although I didn't get a chance to go inside. I would have liked to have seen it, since they started really improving it right when I left.

I took the train down to my school. On my way up I was worried that I may have forgotten how to use the public transportation or forgotten street names or something. But I hadn't. I just had to put myself on autopilot and go the way I had always gone before.

My school had expanded quite a bit, and a lot had changed. There was a new student gallery that was absolutely huge, and the library was about twice the size as when I left it. I wandered the halls and ran into 2 people I had some classes with a year ago who looked at me with a weird "Don't I know you?" face, but kept walking. I even saw some of my old drawings and designs, still hanging on the wall, which was a bit odd. I saw some of my old teachers from a distance, but they were in the middle of class and I didn't want to interrupt.

I ate lunch in the mall food court that I always ate in, alone, like I always had. My old meal at Sbarro's was still the same price, and still tasted the way I remembered it tasting. But there were different people working there, and that didn't settle with me.

The outside of the school had been changed quite a bit. Sometimes I'd eat lunch down by the river, but there was all sorts of fences and signs up discouraging that now.

The plan was to meet Wolford down at Union Station at 4ish, so I headed down there. Union Station is huge, so he had to call me on my cell phone a few times for us to finally meet somewhere. We took the train up to Evanston, got lost briefly, but then headed to some little book store to see Bruce Campbell. The place was packed and incredibly hot. The book signing started at 6:30, and we got there just a little before that. We were handed numbers designating our place in line, #157 and 158. There was 30 or 40 people behind us too. The caught the tail end of Bruce's Q&A session, then went outside to sit down and wait for our number to be called.

An hour or 2 later we went inside to get in line. It was weird being in line and getting closer and closer to Bruce Campbell. I would occassionally peek over the shoulder of the guy in front of me and catch a glimpse of him, which was really bizarre.

As I got to the table I sort of freaked out. I just handed him my book to sign and stood there, hoping that something would come to mind that I could say to him. I took my dad's advice and mentioned emailing him back and forth, closing with the line "not that you'd remember or anything..." but before I could, he replied with the overly sarcastic "Sure, I remember that like it was yesterday." He did that on our second trip through the line too, when I tried again, unsuccessfully, to get him to remember me. I still believe he would have if he'd have given me more time to convince him. But I didn't push it, and I was on my way.

I had to take Wolford back to the train station since the loser doesn't know Chitown very well, and we discussed the Angie and Mullens scandal, which made me think of even more things I shouldn't have been thinking about on my little vacation. We made plans again to meet there the next morning to get to the next bookstore nice and early to meet Bruce again.

On the train ride back and the many blocks of walking down streets that were all too fimiliar all by myself, I started thinking more about my relationship with Angie and Mullens. Or maybe my lack of relationship... whatever the case may be. I started thinking about the people I pushed away, and the people I pulled closer, and why I chose to do those things. And most of all, why did I choose avoidance in situations where avoidance was probably the worst choice? In short, they weren't happy thoughts. They were thoughts about my life, the people in my life, their place in my life, my place in their's, and our motivativations for choosing the people and their places. And do we choose them or do they choose us? Should we make conscience efforts and decisions regarding them, or let nature take it's course? Even through my experiences in the last year, I was more confused than ever about relationships and people. I can barely handle myself anymore, much less other people.

But back to Bruce. I slept in 5 or 10 minute chucks all night, and didn't sleep well at that. I guess I was excited about the Bruce thing, but then I was also fighting off those Chicago monsters, and the weird, surreal feelings I got while revisiting certain sections of town. I woke up at around 7:30 this morning, checked out of my hotel, and threw my suitcase in my car, then headed down to the Union Station again to meet Wolford. We made our way to Borders where the book signing was, bought new books (one for Fabish and one for Wolford's friend Ryan), and put our claim on some seats. By 10 there was a pretty good crowd forming, and they started setting up some chairs for us to sit in once Bruce got to the store. the people that had been there the longest got the first row, and I was one of those people. I didn't know it at the time, but I had chosen the seat that was designated "first in line", once the Q&A stopped and the signing started. One of the employees at the store would go up and give a little speech about how busy Bruce was and how he was on a tight schedule, and the system by which our book signing would take place. Every time he made his announcement, he'd call me by name and say I was first in line, and I turn back and flash a cheesy grin to everyone that was behind me (which amounted to a few hundred people). By the 5th or 6th time, he told me I could give the speech if I wanted, but I had to decline.

So Bruce got there and did the Q&A. Most of the questions were repeats from the night before, but here's some highlights:

Fanboy: "Say 'work shed'!"
Bruce: "Ah, funny guy."

Fanboy: "So, you have a bit part in Spiderman..."
Bruce: "A bit part? A bit part you say? I have a pivotal role."
(Bruce later made fun of this guy again and again for using the phrase 'bit part')

Fanboy: "Any words of wisdom for an aspiring actor?"
Bruce: "Yeah... number one, take off the sunglasses."

Fanboy: "Are you going to make an Evil Dead 4?"
Bruce: "Why would we want to make an Evil Dead 4? Sure, sure, we'll make one. We'll start tomorrow. Is that okay?"

Fanboy: "How did you feel about working for Disney on the remake of Herbie and Goldrush?"
Bruce: "How do I feel about working for Disney? I don't know, but I feel really good about paying my mortgage."

He had to cut the Q&A short, since there was approximately 2 million people and he had to leave soon. I got my book signed again, Fabish's book signed once, and at one point I mentioned to him that I had seen him the day before. He said "Yeah, I remember it.... distinctly." He really wanted to say "like it was yesterday", I could tell. I wished he had said it, so I could reply "Yeah, it WAS yesterday." Unfortunately, I didn't get my chance to outsmart Bruce, since it's fairly obvious he's quite a bit smarter than me.

And that was that. We made our way out, and there was huge, huge crowds. It was a tad bit insane, actually. He was a really nice guy, a complete smart ass, and definitely dead sexy.

Here's a picture of me with Bruce:

And my drunk friend Wolford with Bruce:

Right now I

2001-07-17T17:00:00-07:00

Right now I need someone to feel sorry for me, because I am a big stupid loser. Any takers?

You don't really need to do anything. I'm easy to feel sorry for. Just a quiet "poor fella" to yourself will do.

You could also send me some money.

So what makes

2001-07-17T17:00:00-07:00

So what makes a good friend? What makes a good person?

Lately I've been asking myself bunches of rhetoric questions, because of certain things going on in my life. I see myself changing... drastically, and for the worse. It started slow, when I'd get annoyed slightly easier and faster than before. When things that used to remain only in my head starting slipping out of my mouth. The condition has accelerated, leaving me in the state I am now: in shambles.

I don't really now how to stop this progression or, better yet, reverse it. I do know a little bit though.

I want people to understand me. However, I know more than anyone that I'm not making that an easy task for anyone I ask. I'm not very open about the problem or the reasons behind it. I like putting on a happy face more than I like to expose the sad one. Well... not so much that I LIKE to do it, as I feel that I SHOULD do it.

I know that the sad friend isn't the friend that people want to spend time with. The guy who bitches all the time and never says anything good usually turns into the guy who never gets invited anywhere. It's a shame, too, because when the guy is that upset, he needs all the friends he can get. But that's never the way it works out.

The sad guy is usually just sad and stupid enough to separate himself from everyone. And everyone is stupid enough to let him.

I just wish I could be sad in the presence of others and have it be okay. I wish I could just sit here and be confused, and not have people tell me that I'm right or wrong or smart or dumb. I wish people wouldn't necessarily try to cheer me up, but be there when I'm ready to be happy again. I've only got one friend who I'm comfortable enough with to do those things. Just one guy who will listen, nod his head, and understand. Or at least pretend to understand. It doesn't matter which, really. One guy who understands that not everything needs to be said. One guy who is comfortable following one of my big speeches with complete silence, or a light-hearted, non serious comment, whichever happens to be more appropriate.

I wish I could be selfish and not feel bad about it. I wish I could dwell on my own problems without worrying about other people's. I'll worry about their problems when I feel better about my own. How can I possibly be sensitive to other people's places in their lives when I'm not comfortable with mine? How can people expect me to meet their expectations for me when I can't even reach my own expectations of me? How can people unload insult after insult on me and expect me not to fire back when I feel this low? Why do people feel the need to kick me when I'm down? Why do people choose the worst times possible to present disturbing information and revelations? Why is everyone so eager to turn my problems around on them when my problems are all about me? Why is everyone trying to get me to find a solution quickly?

So back to the original question, what makes a good friend?

I used to think it was honesty. But I think after today I've changed the #1 spot. I think what makes a good friend is understanding. Understanding that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. Understanding that even your best friends have little spells when they get really confused about their entire lives. Understanding that, when you see your friend's entire world collapse around them, they're liable to be a bit rude and sensitive and selfish about things. Understanding that, as bad as it gets, it will get better again, but it may take time. Understanding that it's very easy to make their situation worse, and make that healing time days, weeks, or months longer than it needs to be.

What makes a good person?

Not deserting that person when they need you around the most. Whether you're a good friend, girlfriend, friend of a friend, aquaintence, or you just met him at the local bar... it doesn't matter. The guy needs people around him so he knows he's not going through anything alone. Believe me, I know that it's tougher than all hell to be around someone who is acting all depressed and weird. I've had my share of friends do that. It's extremely hard to refuse an invitation to a great kegger because you're taking your depressed friend to dinner to listen to him whine for 2 hours. It's tough answering the phone when you know it's him, and he's going to complain for a little while and may not even let you talk. But doing those things for the well being of your friend... THAT makes you a good person. However, a TRULY good person wouldn't mind doing all those things in the first place. He wouldn't consider it a chore or a favor... he'd want to do it. Not only to help his friend through a confusing time in his life, but also to know that maybe someday the friend would return the favor.

It's not an easy time for either party, but sometimes people are just all too willing to give up on the other person. I can't really blame them... everyone has their own problems.

I don't need anything else to worry about at this very instant. Any of you who are reading this who would like to complain about any part of me... whether it be my hair color or the way I drive or the fact that I'm a complete and total failure as a human being, PLEASE, for the love of GOD, save the complaint for just a little while, okay? You still have every right to say it, and I certainly want to hear what it is you have to say. But there's a time and a place for it, and now is neither the time nor place. The only way for the timing to be worse is if you told me this complaint at work. Right before my yearly review. With the owner of the company. I'm sure if you did that, I'd make it fairly clear to the owner and president that right then wasn't a good time to talk to me, and probably act really stupid and irrational. That wouldn't be a good thing.

That said, my yearly review was supposed to be today, but has been pushed back until Friday. I'm going to quit my job.

I'm going to

2001-07-18T17:00:00-07:00

I'm going to make my plea one more time, in an effort to get it to reach as many people as possible. PLEASE, stop complaining about me. I'm begging you. You know you're right, you know I'm wrong. Chances are I know the same things. I'm always wrong. Everyone else is always right. That's fine, and I can accept it. But please, stop rubbing it in. I'll come to terms with it on my own, in my own time, without your help. Take comfort in the fact that you know you're right, and use that comfort to stop telling me how wrong I am. Thanks.

I got a call from my dad last night. My grandma took a turn for the worse... she got really confused in the middle of the night and thought she could walk to the bathroom, but unfortunately she hasn't been able to walk in about 3 months. She fell, of course, the entire 2 feet from the bed to the floor. In the process she broke both arms, a few ribs, and her hip. A few days ago, I didn't think her condition could get any worse until she died. I guess I was wrong.

She's in the hospital now, and will probably be there the rest of her life. Her hip is broken bad enough that they would need to perform surgery to insert the pins to reset it correctly. Since she wouldn't survive the surgery anyway, they're just going to leave it broken.

It's really hard to watch one of your family members in that state. Knowing they'll never heal. Knowing they'll never get better again. Knowing that every time you see them, it will probably be the last time you see them.

I'll heal. I'll get better. I've had rough times before. I'm getting really good at turning off that part of my brain that gets affected by negative things. I was hoping to not have to do that this time. I was hoping to confront the issues head on and deal with them, one at a time. But since I've never really done that before, I knew it was going to take a long time. Unfortunately, I, and everyone else, is losing patience with that approach.

Just got back

2001-07-19T17:00:00-07:00

Just got back from my evaluation.

Ah, I feel SO MUCH FREER. So much better. Lots of good stuff.

It got cut short, because of a meeting the big boss had to go to. We didn't get into discussing my working at home options, or even freelancing options. When I mentioned them, he said I absolutely COULD do either of those things, but we wouldn't have time to discuss them today.

I got a raise. That's always a nice thing. It was a pretty fat raise too. The raise, of course, will mean absolutely nothing if I choose to go freelance, which I probably will.

The big boss also said he'd like to keep me around, and may take measures to discourage me from going freelance or working at home. That's fine... he can take those measures if he wants. We'll discuss those options on Monday, I guess.

Last night I went out with Steph and got some stuff off my chest that needed to get off my chest. Our phone is now disconnected, for some reason. I'll have to check into that today.

What a lame

2001-07-22T17:00:00-07:00

What a lame weekend I had.

Friday I was supposed to go bowling with Steph and Molly, then to see Jurassic Park 3. Plans were changed blah blah blah, so we ended up doing nothing, and I went to bed early.

Saturday, since plans had been changed, we were supposed to go to see Jurassic Park 3, and go bowling. Well, plans changed again, and we ended up doing nothing. Steph came over and wanted to watch a movie. This really annoyed me.

So, we're going through my movies trying to find one to watch. She keeps suggesting some of Alan's movies that I've seen, and have absolutely no interest in ever seeing again. Finally Alan and Steph pull a "sorry, you're outnumbered" on me, and start watching "The Whole Nine Yards". I don't think I'm being selfish or greedy or immature at all when I say that I didn't appreciate their democracy to put themselves in charge of my TV, DVD player, and stereo. I didn't even want to be at the apartment at the time... I wanted to be at Jurassic Park 3 or bowling. So, I let them watch their movie, and I went into my bedroom and played on my computer. Later Steph told me I was being an asshole. Ah well, such is life.

Sunday we were supposed to go see Jurassic Park 3, but instead Steph went to Molly's to go swimming. So, after lunch with my parents, me, Alan, and Fabish went to see it. It wasn't as good as part 1, but way better than part 2. It was just a stupid action movie with lots of dinosaurs who fight each other and kill people. Fun stuff. Don't go in expecting to be enlightened or anything... just go in expecting to watch a stupid action movie, and you'll enjoy it.

The rest of the day was spent dicking around and doing nothing in particular. I'm spending a lot of time redoing www.timwasson.com to make it less of a "how drunk can Tim get" page, and more of a "here's why you should hire Tim" page. They're pretty different.

Anyhoo, I woke up today, not tired for the first time in a long time. I didn't dread going to work today. I didn't mind the car ride in. Is my slump ending? Or is this the calm before the storm? Or am I just anticipating not working here anymore, come tomorrow?

My dad gave me a $1500 loan to get a new computer for my art stuff. That was appreciated, but now I have to worry about paying him back. That will be the hard part.

I just quit

2001-07-23T17:00:00-07:00

I just quit my fucking job. Go me.

Yes, you heard right. I've been talkin' all big and bad about just up and quitting for quite some time now, but today I actually did it.

I just got back from the second round of my evaluation. This time it was mainly me talking about complaints I had with the company and why I want to go freelance. The only questions I really had were how to handle the projects I had on my plate, as well as how to handle the vacation time I earned. I was relieved when he said that my earned vacation time was just that.... EARNED. So, he's not going to try and take it away from me. We discussed plans on timelines, and when I intended to finish my stay here, and how that fit into the timeline of the projects I was working on. We also talked about how to handle the work I had done for them, and if I could show it off as part of my portfolio without breaking any copyright laws between me and Iona, and Iona and our clients.

So anyhoo.... my last day here is September 1st. I have one project that I'm going to try to get finished by then, and if not, I'll have to negotiate on a price to finish it off. Another bigger project will definitely not be finished, and I will either give that to another guy to do in house, or it will also be negotiated.

So, it was a good discussion, and ended in the 3 others in the room telling their freelancing stories. I'll get paid for the next month, plus my 2 weeks vacation, and then I'll be on my own. Weird.

Wolford, you should definitely get a swank ass digital camcorder and get back to P-town so we can record our flick. I'll have plenty of free time come September 1st.

This weekend, I order a big bad computer to get my stuff done with.

Ever since I

2001-07-24T17:00:00-07:00

Ever since I decided on this freelance thing, I've had many encounters with many naysayers. A lot of people tell me things like "You'rs going to have to stop that DVD buying habit" and "it's going to be REALLY tough" and "Good luck... you'll need it". I know all that stuff, of course. I'm planning on supporting myself with freelancing, although I don't plan on becoming a millionaire with it or anything. Well, today I got my first few tastes of support.

At work, Jim, a really cool guy I really like, walked up to my cube. Here's our conversation:

"Hey Tim, I hear you're going freelance soon."
"Yeah, yeah I am. By September 1st."
"Wow, that's great. You're going to make a shitload of money."

He followed the comment with a story about his freelancing days and such. It was nice to hear.

I just got back from dinner at my parents house. My dad told me how excited he was for me, although scared, too. I can't say that I blame him. It's a scary thing.

But anyhoo, I'm rarin' to go. The first step in the process is to complete my website, which I'm going to do right now.

I know I

2001-07-24T17:00:00-07:00

I know I have a month to go at this shitty job, but I'm already feeling about 200 times better. A big weight has been lifted off my back. I realize the freelancing thing isn't at all responsible and it will be a lot of hard work, and I realize I'm going to have to stop eating and start begging my parents for help in making ends meet. But damn, I'm going to be so much happier working much harder for much less money. It's kind of sad that money is the thing that kept me here for so long, although I feel better about quitting in spite of my raise.

Last night I did some work on my webpage, which is taking way longer to do than I expected. I got a few phone calls, messed around with Fabish, made a cheesecake, and got set up the "Steal my Shit" cam for hidethecam.com. The project was a complete success, and we got some great footage of a shirtless guy stealing a porno magazine. Look for the update later today or tomorrow or something.

While at work

2001-07-25T17:00:00-07:00

While at work yesterday, I got an email from my dad asking if I could go out to their place and eat dinner with them. I went straight there from work and had a good, home cooked dinner and discussed plans for my new career.

I went home and worked on my webpage. I made lots of progress, although it's still not quite ready to show the real world yet. Maybe tonight, but don't bet on it.

I also updated hidethecam.com with hysterical pictures of a guy stealing a porno magazine. Everyone should go check it out.

The phone call.

2001-07-27T17:00:00-07:00

I just got the call from my dad. My grandma died at around 3:30 this afternoon.

I've gone down to visit her every weekend the past month or two, every time knowing that it would probably be the last time I ever saw her alive. This doesn't come as a shock at all... it wasn't unexpected. Not like my other grandparents, we had plenty of time to brace ourselves for the inevitable.

I didn't go see my grandma today because of a phone call I got from my dad earlier in the week. Every time I saw her before, she never really responded to anything I said or did, but you could always tell she was listening and she understood. It was a look in her eyes or something... I'm not sure. But my dad said this week she was especially distant, never responding to anything, and she probably wouldn't even know I was in the room. I didn't think I could handle seeing her like that. Sarah and Robert also weren't going down until tomorrow, so I was going to get a ride with them, and that way I'd have some way to get away from the grandma situation if I needed to get away from it.

But unfortunately there will be no trip tomorrow.

Why do I always choose the worst times to fuck up? Why did I even bother going down there every single weekend if I chose to not go the one time it actually mattered? Sure, my grandma may not have even known I was there, but I would have liked to have been there for my mom, my grandpa, my uncle, and my cousin who made the trip from Kansas City. And it was for such a stupid, selfish reason. I didn't want to brave it alone, I didn't think I could handle seeing my grandma in the state she was in, I wanted someone else there to distract me from everything. What a retard I am sometimes. Ironically enough, I was at my parents doing laundry when I got the phone call.

She went peacefully. She just sort of drifted off, breating less and less, more and more shallow until it was obvious that she wasn't going to be breathing anymore.

And that's about all I have to say about that.

So I ended

2001-07-28T17:00:00-07:00

So, I ended up going to my grandma's yesterday after learning about her death. I got a ride with my sister and Robert, and we just talked to my uncle, mom, and grandpa. We went out to dinner at the nicest restaurant in Woodhull, which isn't very nice at all. I didn't really do anything last night, despite being invited along to both my roommate's adventures. It seems like they had fun, but I just wasn't up to it. Plus I had to wait around for a phone call I was supposed to get early this morning, letting me know the plans for the visitation and funeral.

I got the call today. The visitation is tomorrow at 6, and I have to be there at 5:30. The funeral is tomorrow and will probably take all day. I went out and bought new clothes for the occassion this morning. I'll probably take a half day at work tomorrow, and all of Tuesday off.

In other news, my web page is now finished. I'm still going to have to tweak it a little and rethink some of the text that I just quickly threw it, but it's very close to completion. Go to it here and tell me what you think.

That's about it.

Not much to

2001-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

Not much to say today. I'm busy at work until noon, then it's off to my grandma's visitation.

I just wanted to apologize for the comments left unanswered. We all know LJ's been screwy lately, and now on top of that, my work email isn't accepting outside email, which includes your comments. So, I have to look at my journal and read the comments the hard way, which sucks. The rumor is that our office email will be back up and running later today, but then again, I'll only be here 'til noon, so I won't see it.

That's all I have to say today.

A horribly detailed account of the last few days.

2001-07-31T17:00:00-07:00

I'm going to pick things up on Saturday, since I didn't get into it last time.

So, I had plans with Steph to go out to a nice dinner and to see Planet of the Apes. I got the phone call from my dad telling me my grandma had just died, so I called up Steph to cancel our plans. I didn't get to tell her why, since I only talked to her mom, and I didn't have much time before Robert picked me up.

Robert picked me up and we were on our way to Grandma's house. They had just finished taking apart the hospital bed that was set up in the living room and were carrying to a big van. Robert and I helped finish the job and went in to visit with the family.

Everyone was in surprisingly good spirits considering Grandma had just died a few hours before. It was expected, of course. She was on a downhill slide for quite some time, and just when we thought it couldn't get worse, it did. I think all of us were kind of relieved at her passing. As horrible as it is to have someone die, it's much more horrible to try and keep them alive and in pain for your own benefit.

We went out to dinner at a truck stop down the street. I had ravioli that did horrible things to my stomach. Conversation was awkward, but pleasant. There was no crying, with the exception of my mom tearing up a bit when she asked Robert and I to be pall bearers. We accepted, of course.

I went back to my apartment where Alan had a long list of messages from me. Weird, considering how rarely I've been called the last few days, weeks, whatever. I tried returning some of the calls, but to no avail. Steph's mom said Steph was worried about me because I canceled the plans and Robert picked me up. She assumed something was wrong with my sister, for some reason. Everyone always worries about the pregnant chick, I guess.

Some of Alan and Fabish's friends were at the apartment. Fabish and crew were hitting some bars, and Alan was going to a party down the street. Both groups invited me along, but I declined. I wasn't too eager to tell them about my grandma, since that's sort of a 'downer', and they were trying to have fun on a Saturday night. Eventually they got too pushy, so I told them I just wasn't up to it after my grandma had just died.

I went to bed early, and Sunday was just plain uneventful. I fiddled on the computer and Steph and Molly came over to watch Jackass.

Monday I went to work for a while. I was really productive, but I left at noon. The visitation was more than an hour away, and started at 6, but at my work you can only take bereavement days in 4 hour chunks, so I went ahead and took a full half day. The visitation was horribly crowded, which no one really expected. All the relatives I knew passed through the line within the first half hour or so, so for the next 2 hours I was introduced to people who were only kind of related to me through many, many different people. It's odd, because my dad's side of the family are the ones to exercise, diet, and take care of themselves really well, and they all die very early. My mom's side all smoke, eat too much, and don't really do anything to take care of themselves and they live forever. My great grandma died at 94, and my grandpa is 80 and spunkier than I am. I hope I inhereted their long life gene.

The next day, today, was the funeral. I was a pall bearer for the 3rd time. The first time was for my other grandma's funeral, and the 2nd time was for Jill Zarr. It was horribly hot outside, but it was nice to see everyone I don't get to see often. I have a cousin named Eric who I barely consider a cousin. See, I'm the youngest of any of my cousins, with the exception of 2 who live down in Georgia who I never see. But the oldest of any of these close cousins is only 5 years older than I am. Well, Eric is 10 years older than me, so it's hard to view him in the same light as the others. I used to really look up to him as a kid, and I still think he's an incredibly smart and talented guy.

I also got to see Craig, who is either my 2nd cousin or 1st cousin once removed... I can never keep them straight. A really nice guy, almost exactly my age. We talked about his college, which is a small private school about 100 miles away. I actually was quite close to some people in high school who went there, and Craig knew quite a few of them. Small world. He'll probably go back there and tell them we're related, and they'll be all shocked and bring it up to me next time we see eachother.

There was a lunch in the chuch basement, and we mingled for a while but got bored. Me, Russ, and Robert found our way to the church playroom and spent our time playing fooseball (no idea how to spell that) and ping pong.

The saddest part of the whole event, I think, was as we were leaving. We were trying to decide on plans for the remainder of the day when my mom asked if we were headed to Grandpa's house. He said "Sure, we can go back to our place. Or, I mean, my place." They had been married 54 years... it's hard to adjust to things like that, I think. He's a tough cookie though. He'll be fine.

I drove back, and here I am. Doing nothing in particular. It feels like tomorrow will be Monday, but it won't... it'll be Wednesday. That's a good feeling. I have to pay bills tomorrow though. That's a bad feeling.

I forgot a few things.

2001-07-31T17:00:00-07:00

In my overly detailed account, I forgot to add a few things.

First of all, yesterday Mullens kept trying to call me. He always calls me from work, and we always get interrupted about 25 seconds into each phone call so he can help a customer. He'll call me back 20 minutes later, and do the same thing. Anyway, eventually he stopped calling and just came on by. I have to admit that it was good to see him again. I've come to the conclusion that Mullens is still a good guy at heart, when it boils down to it. He's done things I don't like and acted in a less than mature and responsible way, but I think he's got a good heart. Angie, on the other hand, I believe to have a bad heart. I don't think she's a good person, but I think she's gotten really good at acting like one. But I'm getting away from the point.

The strangest part of the visit was right when I opened the door and he mentioned how I dyed my hair. It really bad been a long, long time since we'd seen each other or talked. He asked me what I was up to, and I couldn't think of a thing to say. I mentioned meeting Bruce Campbell and attending my grandma's funeral earlier that day, but it wasn't until much, much later that I remembered to mention quitting my job.

This conversation struck me as very odd. I got pretty excited as I was talking about freelancing, telling Mullens all about the tax write offs, making my own hours, etc. etc. etc. He said something like "Wow, I can't believe you're starting your own business." Below is the conversation that followed.

"Well, I'm not really starting my own business. I'm just going freelance."
"So who will you be working for?"
"A lot of different companies. I'm not really going to be employed by anyone, just working for them."
"So you go to different companies and sell your services to people?"
"Yeah."
"And how is that different from starting your own business?"

I couldn't think of a good way to answer that question. I had never considered it starting my own business or going into business for myself or any of that.... I just considered it freelancing. A step in the big process of wherever it is I'm going, finding whatever it is I'm looking for. But I guess it is a business. As I described it more, it only sounded more like a business to me and him. I mentioned keeping in touch with some people if I took a bid on a project I was incapable of completing myself, and paying them to do some things for me. He called it 'outsourcing'. I guess it is, technically, but I had never even thought to apply a term to it.

This weekend will be spent preparing myself for this big jump. Me and my dad are going to go place an order for a big, bad computer. We also have to cancel our current cell phone plan and get a new one that I will use for my 'business'. Then it's on to talk to an accountant to discuss everything I have to do and be prepared for. This includes saving receipts, something I've always sucked at. But it will be nice, since when you're a freelancer, everything is tax deductable. My computer, internet access, car payments, car insurance, mileage, rent, software, web page hosting, everything. My dad said I'll be doing VERY well for myself if I claim $10,000 a year while working freelance because of all the deductables. Weird.

In one month, I will no longer be employed by anyone.

Not much to

2001-08-01T17:00:00-07:00

Not much to say today. I wrote a bunch of checks last night. My credit cards are paid off now, and all my bills for the apartment are paid. That's a good feeling. KJ stopped by for a little while.

You know what I love? I love it when a friend of a friend becomes a friend. It's awesome. It's awesome when KJ calls the apartment and talks to me for a while when I answer before asking for Fabish. And it was awesome that he just stopped by last night to hang out, and stuck around even after finding out Fabish wouldn't be there. Wolford, Brice, and Polk all used to be friends of friends. Even Steph was a girlfriend of a friend. Weird.

I also talked to a buddy of mine Brian Kelly. He's a damn computer genius, and I asked him some tips on what kind of computer to buy this weekend. He volunteered to just sit down with me, order the computer parts, and help me put them together when they arrive. What a nice fella. I built a computer right before I started college, which lasted me over 2 years. I'm a bit out of practice now though, so I'll need the help.

Ah last night.

2001-08-02T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, last night.

I got home and had a message to go to Angie's for a cookout. I decided I would go, as long as Steph was going too. So I called her up, and she met me at my place and we went to Angie's. Mullens and Fuller were also there, so that's 3 people total that I've had a falling out with and didn't really have any desire to talk to again. But you add enough beer to the equation and anything becomes a fun situation. I talked mostly to Steph, Fabish, and KJ, and I drank a lot of beer. At around 9, the 21 year olds were off to Lowry's for dollar bottle night, and those people were me, Fabish, Callahan, and Fuller. Conversation was pleasant, if not a little fluffy. I got good and drunk, but came back to my apartment earlyish... around 11:30 or so.

I woke up really early this morning and got all ready for work, but then decided that I didn't really want to go. So I didn't. I called in sick, cashing in on some of the remaining 11 days I have left that I won't be reimbursed for after I quit.

Fabish and I just went out to eat lunch at the New China Buffet. Good stuff.

The Weekend

2001-08-05T17:00:00-07:00

The weekend was alright. On Friday I skipped work, and did basically nothing all day. It was great. Brian Kelly, Steph, and Molly stopped by later in the evening and we hung out and chatted. Some of Alan's friends who I hate stopped by too. I went to bed around 2.

I woke up bright and early on Saturday, took care of some chores and whatnot, then went to get a new digital cell phone and talk to an accountant with my dad. I got this one phone because of a clip on speaker you can use with it for a speaker phone. I figured it would be nice to talk on while driving, since I drive a stick shift, and it's hard to shift, turn, and talk all at the same time. Well, the clip on barely works, so I'm going to return the clip on and hopefully the phone ASAP.

Saturday night was even less eventful than Friday night. Fabish and I went to see Planet of the Apes, which wasn't nearly as bad as people are making it out to be. I rather enjoyed it, actually. Afterwards, Alan needed me to go get him and his friends some beer and drop them off at some girl's house. I did that, and they invited me in for a few drinks. I stayed for the duration of exactly one beer, then went home and goofed around with Fabish for a while.

Sunday I did even less, if that's possible. Alan, me, and this girl Heather went to eat at Hooters, then back to our place to watch Jackass. Jackass was funny, as per usual.

And that takes us up to today, where I'm at work and very busy all day. Hopefully I can get this CD pounded out quickly. We'll see.

Saw Rush Hour

2001-08-06T17:00:00-07:00

Saw Rush Hour 2 last night with Steph and Molly. It was quite enjoyable... better than the first. Still, Project A was Jackie Chan's best work.

I also tried to do another "Steal my Shit" cam for hidethecam.com, but that didn't turn out nearly as well as the other one. Such is life.

Last night I

2001-08-07T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I watched Saving Silverman. It was way, way different than I thought it was going to be. I was expecting an intelligent comedy, but this was corn ball and cheesy. It still had it's funny moments though. That Peet girl (Amanda, is it?) sure is hot, even when she's playing a straight up, hardcore bitch.

I went to bed stupid early last night... like 10 or so. I've been really tired the last few days, but I'm wide awake today. Good thing too, since I have a lot I need to get done on this bloody CD today.

My nights keep

2001-08-08T17:00:00-07:00

My nights keep getting more and more boring.

Here's something interesting though. Since I will soon be freelance, I've been checking up on a few sites pretty much every day to see what kind of work I'll be able to find. I ran across one ad that was asking for contributors to a 'labor of love', that is, no one who works on it will be paid immediately. Ah, but that's no big deal, since it offered me a chance to be really creative and original, and work as long or as short as I wanted on it. There were no deadlines, since it's hard to impose them when you're not paying anyone. So far I've painted 2 backgrounds for an animated film 'Carnage', for Evil Clown Animation, which took maybe 3 hours a piece. They're very pleased so far and may give me actual animation to work on. That would be nice... They also promise that if this movie does wonderful things for the company, the people who worked on it will be reimbursed, either financially or by offering them a full time job or something. But at the very very least, if this movie ever gets any kind of release, that means I'll have a movie credit. An entry in the IMDB. Amazing. Plus then I can claim some sort of professional experience in the entertainment industry, which will probably do good things for me someday.

But the point of this story is that I spent last night finishing up another background for them. I didn't do much else. I watched the Joey Lawrence E! True Hollywood Story for some inexplainable reason.

Last night I

2001-08-09T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I went to my parent's house to eat some tacos. They were good. Then I went to Best Buy. I bought Event Horizon. Then I went home. Then I watched Event Horizon. Later Fabish and KJ stopped by. Later, Molly and Steph stopped by. I finished watching Event Horizon and then I went to bed. It was an exciting night.

One of the best weekends ever.

2001-08-12T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, this weekend was good, despite a tragedy with my best friend.

So, it was Friday night, and the plan was to meet at our apartment, then go to the New China Buffet and a 7:00 American Pie 2. Me, Steph, and Fabish were there, waiting for Molly, and Fabish was wrestling around with Abby as per usual when all of the sudden he screamed, clocked her in the face, and pushed her across the entire room and ran to the bathroom. I kind of laughed, since... well, it's Fabish, and pretty much everything he ever does is a joke. But since he had been in the bathroom for a little while, I decided to go back and see what was wrong. He didn't respond to many of the questions that I yelled through the bathroom wall, but finally he came out, all red and swollen, saying I needed to take him to the emergency room. Apperently Abby had scratched his eye.

I drove him in, of course, and waited in the waiting room for a couple of hours as they saw what was wrong. It was a scratch, not very long, but VERY deep. They gave him a perscription and we were on our way. He seemed okay through most of dinner, but all of the sudden his eyes and nose starting watering really bad, and we left early to go get his perscription filled.

Fabish's girlfriend came over and she took care of him for the rest of the night, while me, Steph, and Molly went to see American Pie 2 as planned. Good flick.

Saturday I took care of some things I've needed to take care of for a while. Saturday night was awesome. And I'll leave it at that.

Sunday I went out to my parents to help my dad with some car things and eat dinner. Then I watched Simpsons and Jackass with Fabish. It was a good weekend.

Fabish is walking around now with an eyepatch. He looks like a little geeky pirate. On the plus side, his relatives keep coming by to visit him and drop off food. I like Fabish's relatives (I grew up with most of them... they're kind of like my relatives too), and I like free food, so it's all working out.

Last night I

2001-08-14T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I bought Gremlins and Poltergeist on DVD. I haven't seen either of them in probably 10 years. I was watching them last night, and it's bizarre the things I remember.

I remember little stupid things that have no relation to the plot at all. For example, in Gremlins I remembered the scene where they're behind the movie screen and you can see the shadows of all the Gremlins on the other side. In Poltergeist I remembered, and could even recite, the scene where they put the dead bird in the cigar box, and the part where Craig T. Nelson ties his tie into the phone cord, but I didn't remember the hand coming out of the TV, or the lady walking down the stairs. Weird. And the parents smoking pot as their kids slept? Was that in the version that I saw as a little kid? Anyway....

Yeah, that just about sums up what I've been up to the last few days... not much.

Tonight Brian Kelly is supposed to come over, and we're going to order computer parts for my 'business'.

13 working days left and counting....

I'm making final

2001-08-15T17:00:00-07:00

I'm making final preparations for this freelancing thing. Last night a computer genius friend of mine stopped by to help me order a computer. I had about $2000 budgeted for the computer, and he had a good plan to use every penny of that. It would have been a monster computer, but unfortunately his plan depended on some sort of something or other being released already, and it wasn't. We had to use his fallback plan, which is still a faster computer than I'm working on now, and it was also only $1200 or so. I still have to get $200 or so worth of parts from around town, but I'm ready and rarin' to go that. The parts should be here in about a week, and it shouldn't take more more than a night or 2 to put them all together and make them run.

We finished our shopping and our ordering at around 9:30, and surprise surprise, in walks Scott Olsson and his fiancee Jackie at like 9:45. Scotty was a good friend of Brian and me in high school, and absolutely the smartest guy who has ever lived. I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that. If I had to pick one human being in the world to switch places with, I would pick Scotty. Or Bruce Campbell. One of the 2.

We talked and caught up a bit. Scott has one year left to get his Masters (what the hell is that? The kid is 21), and then he's going to go into some sort of research team as he completes his doctrate. I know a few summers ago, he was researching the physics of black holes, although I'm pretty sure he's not anymore. I'd ask him, but he'd just spout off a bunch of stuff I don't understand, then laugh at me for trying.

After they left, I went right to bed. Today I have to deposit my paycheck and pay off my credit cards. Ah, the days when I had a $0 balance on my cards. It seems like just yesterday... oh, yeah, it WAS just yesterday.

I didn't do

2001-08-16T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't do much of anything last night. I am an exciting guy. I'd like to go out tonight, drinking or something, but I don't want to spend the money. After paying off my computer and other bills, I only have a couple hundred bucks in the bank, and I like having some sort of cushion for myself. The only way I will go out tonight is if it's a BYOB type situation, and the only place in the Peoria area I know of that's BYOB is Shooters, the most god awful strip club in the universe. Ah well.

You know what's great about the internet? Tracking packages. It's fantastic. My computer parts left California this morning. UPS provides an "approximate delivery date", but FedEx doesn't. When will my computer be here, damn it?

Friday was a

2001-08-19T17:00:00-07:00

Friday was a good night. I didn't go out to the bars as I sort of wanted to do, but I got a call from Brian Kelly, the computer genius, to go out to his house for a "reunion" of sorts with a bunch of people I used to hang out with in high school. Included in them with Smalls, John Zarr, Scotty, Jackie, and Amy. We hung out a lot in high school, but most of them are very, very smart and headed towards huge, huge accomplishments in the future. They've been scattered throughout the country doing their own thing, so it's hard to get people together. Back in high school, we'd go over to Brian's and hang out in his basement and watch movies and talk, just as we did on Friday. The only difference is that in high school, our group was probably 12 people strong. When we can get 5-6 people of the original 12 together, we feel very accomplished.

I also ran into this guy at a supermarket who I thought had left town to head for Vegas or LA or something. But, Vegas and LA were not on the agenda for this fella. I knew he was full of shit. I won't name names... yet. I'm sure the filthy liar feels bad enough. He'll come out of hiding soon.

This weekend I also did a lot to prepare to sell my Jeep. I've only had it for 8 months or so, but I'm already kind of sick of it. My dad and I checked out some BMW 325is on the internet, which are, remarkably, cheaper than what my Jeep is worth. I may be able to sell my Jeep and buy a BMW, while making a little profit on the side. Plus it's just a better car for road trips and such, and I plan on driving a lot after going freelance. The BMW I test drove had this awesome little gauge for monitoring gas mileage. As you step on the gas, this gauge goes down and shows you're getting like 5 mpg. As you let up or shift, it goes up to about 30 mpg. Amazing stuff. Oh, and heated leather seats, an electric sunroof, onboard computer, etc. etc. It's a far cry from my Jeep that doesn't even have cruise control or automatic locks, for a price that's probably cheaper if I get the money out of my Jeep that it's worth.

And finally, last night, we had our 4th bat scare. I was watching Growing Pains True Hollywood Story and I swear I heard something in my wall. So I called Fabish in and we were sitting there like idiots with our ears to the wall and we kept hearing weird scratching. We figured it was a mouse or something, even though we definitely discussed the possibility of it being a bat. It seemed unlikely that a bat would be in the wall, ya know? So, figuring that a mouse is harmless and kind of cute, even, we didn't do much to help the problem.

Later in the night I was dinking around online when I heard the same unmistakable flapping from the ceiling. I told Fabish the problem and he wanted to tape the whole thing. Unfortunately my camcorder was out of batteries so we plugged it in to charge it, shut the door to my room, and waited. About 20 minutes had gone by and Alan got home, visited for a while, and was informed of our little bat problem. He got a phone call and went into his room to talk, but upon opening the door screamed out "OH SHIT! THE FUCKING BAT IS IN MY ROOM! OH SHIT! HE'S FUCKING BIG!" Without a doubt, he was the biggest bat we had seen up until this point. I grabbed the camcorder and started taping as Fabish got a bucket and a towel and Alan grabbed a broom. We marched into Alan's room, hit the bat into the bucket, and covered it with a towel. It was really quite remarkable. We took it outside and let it go. At first, the bat would not leave the bucket. We all hovered above it, looking in, and it flew out, scaring all of us and sending us all backwards. It flew around a few times, coming within inches of hitting all of us before finally flying away.

So, our new theory is that these bats are somehow getting in the walls and moving room to room inside them. How to stop the bat problem? Ah... not too sure, but hopefully winter will just kill them off. Can bats survive winter or do they hibernate or something? Something to look into I guess.

Went bowling with

2001-08-20T17:00:00-07:00

Went bowling with a few buddies last night. Dodged Barb the whole time. Had a weird conversation with some girl while walking my dog.

My computer parts are on their way to my parent's place. Brian is getting his wisdom teeth pulled today, so he will be unable to help me in setting it up. I think I can get it done on my own though... it shouldn't be too hard. I'll certainly need his help in setting up our network, since I have failed so many times in the past with that.

God I want

2001-08-21T17:00:00-07:00

God, I want this car.

I got my new computer.

2001-08-21T17:00:00-07:00

I was tracking my packages online a little too frequently last night, but saw that they had been delivered to my parent's place (I have them delivered there because they'll leave them on the porch without a signature, but if no one was there to sign for them at my place, they'd take them back to the FedEx place and I'd have to pick them up there). So anyway, they were delivered and I ran out to their place after work to get them, and came back and started the assembly process.

This is my third computer, and it's certainly the most Frankensteinish of the bunch. I took a hard drive from here, a CD Rom drive from there, and threw them all together. The result is 2 working computers, one stupidly fast, one kind of sort of fastish. I could get the third to work with a few hours work and $50 worth of parts, but it would be really slow, so why bother?

The computers I've assembled in the past all have very easy processors to put in, but this one is a little more complicated and I don't feel confident enough to do it myself, so I'm waiting for Brian to come and finish the job for me.

Later in the evening KJ stopped by and we hung out, ate some cereal, watched some TV, drank some beer, and then he left and I went back to my computer nonsense.

I also seriously messed up our internet connection. Oops. Since last night at around 6, our apartment is internet-less. That also should be fixed by this evening.

In other news, Friday night I'm eating at my parent's for my sister's late birthday celebration. For her birthday, she asked that I take the family out to see "The Others". I said sure, but Robert backed out because he said it looked too freaky. Pansy. I don't know if my parents will take up on the offer, but if not, this will be a cheap birthday present.

So I killed

2001-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

So I killed some time last night before Brian and Smalls got there to help me finish up my computer and hopefully get me back online. I got this huge fan for my processor, which unfortunately didn't fit. We made a last minute trip to Best Buy and got one that's slightly too small for the computer. I may have to rig something up to keep it cooler, since... well, it seems like a good idea.

We got one computer up and running as well as it's going to run (the 700 Celeron I just bought), but it only has a 4X CDROM, since I took the fast one out to put in my new computer and the 4X was leftover from my old Pentium II. Anyway, everything is up and running well, with the exception of a few simple things. Like my second video card isn't supported by WIN2K, so I'll need to replace it with one that is. My ethernet adapter isn't working (which means still no internet), and my sound card isn't working. By tonight hopefully all the bugs will be worked out. I'm taking Brian out to eat Chinese tonight and maybe to a movie or something as a thank you.

In any case, I was up way too late last night fiddling... 'til around 2:30 or so. Normally not a big deal but I had to wake up at 7:45 this morning. I don't do good on less than 7 hours of sleep.

Today is the "production outing" for my company, which means we production folk go and eat lunch outside and play softball. I'm not really looking forward to it.

A gas station

2001-08-23T17:00:00-07:00

A gas station here in town has dropped their price dramatically down to $1.04. Amazing, no? It would be a good deal and I'd certainly go fill up, except that the line to get into the station stretches about 2 miles in all directions. The jam is right in front of the building right now, making it impossible for anyone who works here to leave. Apparently some people are waiting in line an excess of 2 hours to get gas. It's amazing what some people will do to save just a few dollars.

The Wasson apartment is back online, AKA rarin' to go.

2001-08-23T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was the "Production Outing", where all the people classified as "production people" are sent off on a field trip of sorts as a little reward. It was held at Bradley Park, just a couple of blocks from my apartment. It was odd, since before the trip some people came along, asking me what kind of beer I wanted. I had no idea alcohol would be involved.

So we get to the park but don't have any food yet, and as we're waiting we crack into the beer. It was odd seeing people I've worked with for a year in a social situation for the first time ever. Some of them got a bit tipsy, slurring their speech and saying things that I wouldn't expect them to say. It was a good time.

Then it was time for the softball game. The teams had been decided beforehand, and as he told us what team we were on, it seemed like it would be a fair game until we actually divided up and saw that a majority of our team didn't show up to the outing. So, it was like 7 against 10. This put us at an immediate disadvantage.

Amazingly enough, I was one of the best players. I couldn't catch for a darn, but I can hit like a mother and run pretty fast. So I scored a few homers and did better than I expected. Members of our team were dropping like flies as some of them had to leave early and such. By the end, it was really just a joke. The final score was 38 to 7 if memory serves.

We were expected to stay until 5, but most of us went home right after the game. I did some work to my computer and got the dual monitor thing working (which is just awesome, by the way), but no luck on the network or sound card. I called Brian to hopefully finish the job.

I took him out to dinner first to thank him for all the help he's been giving me when I'm stumped. Then we picked up Fabish who wanted to go to Best Buy and get a new computer, and I had to buy a new WIN2K compatible network card. We threw it in and got it working, and Brian got the network working while I put a DVD player in Fabish's new computer. So the apartment is networked, although only 2 of the 3 computers on the network can get online. I'm blaming this on software problems and the fact that I don't know how to set up the software. I've decided the best thing to do is ask Brian to do it for me.

We got me back online somewhere around 10:30 last night and I still had to take Brian home. I got home, read the emails that had been collecting in my onlineless days, and went to bed. I didn't sleep nearly as much as I wanted to.

I don't have big plans for the weekend. Tonight I'm eating at my parent's place for a birthday dinner thing for my sister, then I'm taking everyone out to see a movie. Tomorrow is Mullens' 21st birthday bash, but I've yet to decide whether or not I'm going to that. Maybe I'll go to the party but leave before everyone goes downtown.

Proof that I

2001-08-26T17:00:00-07:00

Proof that I can afford the BMW of my dreams

This weekend was somewhat uneventful, but good.

Friday was the celebration of my sister's birthday which was more than a week ago. We had dinner, then I took the family out to see "The Others", which was really freaky and really good. Afterwards I just went home and watched "Planet of the Apes".

Saturday I went out to see "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" with Bryan, Bryan, Diane, and Brian. Good flick. Afterwards we went to Perkins and had a little din din.

I had to take Brian home, then I went to home and watched "Beneath the Planet of the Apes". After that I worked on getting the apartment's network set up (still not working yet, but so very close), and doing nothing in particular.

Sunday I planned on being really productive. Let's just say I wasn't as productive as I would have liked to have been. Ah well.

Tonight, I will finish the network, I swear.

5 working days left and counting...

Molly came over

2001-08-27T17:00:00-07:00

Molly came over last night. It was strange, because she's more of Steph's friend and I hang out with her only when hanging out with Steph. I really thought that's all we'd ever be, so I was shocked to get the call last night, and even more shocked when she came over and just hung out at the apartment with me and Fabish. It didn't really seem like her idea of a good time.

Anyway, she left to go out with her boyfriend, and later Amy and Myra came by to watch Oh Brother, Where Art Thou, one of the greatest movies of all time.

And with just under 4 working days left here at Iona, I feel I should ramble on about it for a while.

As most of you know, I've had this job a little over a year. However, what most of you DON'T realize is that I wanted this job long before I applied for it. In my Career Development class we had to pick a company we wanted to work for, call them, and interview one of the people in charge about the job. That was about 6 months before I graduated. I stumbled across Iona's webpage while looking for jobs in my field in Peoria, since I wanted more than anything to get back in Peoria, away from Chicago.

Why, you ask, did I set my sights so low? Well, for my friends, mostly. Steph, Mullens, and Angie were my little group of buddies who I thought were just the greatest thing ever. If you read the beginning of the journal, I was working in the same place, living in the same place, but perfectly content because of this group of friends. Well, since then the whole thing has fallen apart. I don't think while I was in college I realized I was "setting my sights low", even though some instructors and other students hinted at it. They said I could do things better than the Iona Group, that in a few years I could be playing with the big boys. At the time, it didn't interest me. I just wanted to hang out with Mullens and drink beer.

Were my priorities wrong, or were the people I chose to prioritize wrong? Hm.

Nowadays I seem to think the opposite... if I can be happy in a job, I'll be happy with my life rather than vise versa. When I say it outloud (or in typing, rather) it seems rather simplified and naive.

In any case, I'm not happy with my job or my social life. But for the first time ever I'm taking steps to improve both of them. I'm not going to settle for a crappy job for a great social life, or a great job for no social life. I want both. Is that possible in Peoria? No... I don't think so. I want to play with the big boys. I want to get a real job with people like me, my age, who are interested in the things I'm interested in. I want to get a job where my work will be seen, where I'll get some recognition. I want people to ask me "what do you do?" and I'll be able to reply "well, did you see that movie? I did one of the scenes in there."

I'm stuck in Peoria until May. I could probably talk my roommates into letting me out of the lease, but I'd feel bad for that. So I'm going to try and make my remaining months here as good as possible, knowing full well I'll never feel 100%.

But anyway, less than 4 working days left. I feel like I should be more worried than I am.

I was late for work this morning.

2001-08-28T17:00:00-07:00

And I don't care. With just under 3 working days left, it's hard to care about much of anything.

I'm working on this CD ROM with a testing section. From the beginning, I've let my supervisors know that I had no idea how to do what they were asking, and since it was my first CD, someone else would need to handle the complicated stuff. Well, long story short, in an effort to simplify the test so I could handle it on my own, they've made it much more complicated. They've also said I need to get in done before I go, which is 3 days and counting now. I'm not going to finish it.

My network still isn't working. That's because I'm retarded and don't know how to do it. I'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure, but it's a frustrating process to say the least.

I also took my love of piracy to a new level last night. I downloaded my first 2 full length movies. What were they, you ask? "Shrek" and "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". I don't feel too bad about doing that, since it's just sort of like renting them. I plan on burning them onto video CD and watching them on my DVD player. Pretty sweet, no? Sure, the sound and picture quality will be a bit sub-par to say the least, but no worse than a VHS or anything. And if I like "Shrek", I'll go buy it on DVD. And I already know I like "Jay and Silent Bob", so I'll just watch the video CD until the DVD comes out.

The coolest part about it was that I downloaded "Shrek" at about 160K/sec., which means that I got the entire movie on my computer in about an hour. The movie is like an hour and half. Isn't that a bit strange?

But I can't get the movies to play yet. I'm missing the codec. It's not MPEG 4, since Media Player tried downloading that one. It's probably DivX, but I downloaded the latest DivX codecs with no results. How frustrating. Anyone with a little more experience in this arena, feel free to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I can get the audio, but no video.

This entry is going to get long. I have a lot to cover.

2001-08-29T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, first things first. I have 3 out of 4 computers in our apartment hooked up to the network and running perfectly. Fabish's damn computer is the one that doesn't want to work. I don't know what the problem is, but it's pissing me off.

Secondly, I figured out the codec problem with Shrek and Jay and Silent Bob. Apparently they were compressed with an out of date codec, that was released for only a couple of months during a beta stage of Windows Media Player, and hasn't been in use since. So I had to find an old (and illegal, since Microsoft decided not to support it anymore) codec and install it, and the video played with no problem.

Shrek looked and played perfectly, but there was a problem with Jay and Silent Bob. I downloaded the movie in 2 chunks... part 1/2 and part 2/2. Part 1/2 turned out to be the first half of Pearl Harbor. Part 2/2 turned out to be the second half of Scarface. I was a bit pissed. But I still had Shrek, so I was happy.

I had to compress and uncompress the movie several times to get it into VCD format for my DVD player. But I finally got it working, took disc 1 out to my living room and gave it a shot. It worked the first time. Well, sort of. The video worked perfectly and looked okayish (as good as you could expect from a downloaded movie that had been compressed 3 times), but the sound was just a loud, high pitched hum. Eventually the hum stopped and it just started clicking on and off millions of times. I'm not sure which was more annoying.

So anyway, during one of the compressings of Shrek, it said it would take a little less than 2 hours. So I figured I had some time and I was going to go to Circuit City to check out the new DVD releases. On my way back to the DVD section I crossed the digital camcorder section and stopped to take a look for a few seconds.

I saw an open box buy of a JVC camera. I had been doing a lot of research on which camera to buy on the internet, and this JVC certainly wasn't at the top of my list, but it was a really good camera for around $800. The open box buy was $400. It was missing it's lens cap, one of the covers to a couple of switches, and some random cable used to hook it into your TV for a picture slideshow that I would never use. How could I pass the chance to get an $800 DV camera for $400? Well, I couldn't pass on it, of course. I bought the camera, a firewire card and cable, a few tapes, and was going to buy a better battery but they were out. The camera is fantastic. I love it.

And with my pimptastic new computer, I'm planning on making some movies and such with it. I just need a good idea. I'd love to play with compositing in some special effects and animation and such. It would also be good if I could shoot it in a day with as few extras as possible, since it's hard to find loyal movie makers who will do it for free.

I'm thinking about making a short little 5-10 movie of a spaceship landing outside the apartment building or something. Something weird like that.

And I'm down to my last 2 days at work. Tomorrow some people are taking me out to lunch at La Fiesta, which will be nice. The whole office is invited, but not everyone will show up, I'm sure. Today I'm going to back up some of my work and things I want to keep and take home whatever personal things I have laying around my cubicle. Tomorrow it's real work again, trying to wrap up the test on that blasted CD. It seems strange though.

Iona has supported me for over a year. It's allowed me to not have to ask for handouts from my parents or anyone else. It bought me a new car, got me an awesome apartment with an awesome TV and a ton of DVDs (yeah, I know I don't have as many as you, Wolford). It bought me that camcorder I bought last night. It seems strange to just turn my back on all that. It seems strange for me to tell them I don't need them. But I did, and I am.

I didn't think I was the type to leave security like that because of the rhetoric nonsense going on in my head. But it's good to see that I did leave, in spite of a raise. It proves that I can still surprise myself, and that I can still take steps to improve my life without just accepting everything that comes my way. It's good to be able to surprise other people too.

Lunch and other stuff.

2001-08-30T17:00:00-07:00

Just got back from lunch. I had no idea how many people would end up coming, and they ended up paying for my lunch too. The people that showed up to my final lunch for future "cool list" reference: Shane, Jim, Jerry, Matt, Becki, Shep, Ed, Kala, Rob, and 3 former Iona employees just happened to be there so Roz, Val, and Sheryl joined us as well. 3 or 4 others came to me personally and apologized for not being able to make it.

I got my final paycheck, which included pay for vacation and sick days. It was a big check, and will keep me alive and kickin' with no income for a good 2 months at least. It's good to have at least a little fallback.

I gave up my key to the building just seconds ago. Very symbollic if you ask me. 3 hours from now, I'll be leaving Iona and I can't come back until I'm invited. I'm giving up the right to come here voluntarily.

What a weird, weird feeling.

My last day at my shitty, shitty job.

2001-08-30T17:00:00-07:00

Well, this is it. My last day.

Yesterday I cleaned up my cubicle. I've never enjoyed cleaning, but I was having a fantastic time. The rest of the day was spent filling out paper work, revising contracts, and talking to the accountant here about what I need to do for tax purposes. With all this tax talk, I wonder if I've gotten in over my head. I'm not good with numbers or budget or keeping receipts or anything. I've talked to a couple people around the office about it, and the opinion is basically this: ripping the government off and fudging your taxes is much easier than doing it the right way. Until they make it easier to do things correctly, do them the best you know how and claim ignorance if the IRS comes knocking. Sounds like good advice to me.

I also burned some stuff to CD that I want to keep around as back up for when I'm working from home. I cleared off as much as I could, including personal stuff that's collected here throughout my year of working on this computer. People have put dibs on all my stuff, so they kept coming around yesterday to take my scanner, zip drive, monitors, one of my other computers, and whatever other cool toys I had laying around.

Today was the last all employee meeting I will ever attend for this company. I was shocked at what was revealed: August was a profitable month for Iona. The first profitable month since I've been here. Way to go out with a bang. The owner and president of the company made it a special point to announce my last day and thank me for quitting before he had to start firing. As I looked around the room at this all employee meeting, I couldn't help but think back to what it was like at my FIRST all employee meeting. There were many more people. So many that we couldn't even all fit in the conference room. When I signed on to Iona, I was the 48th employee they had. I'm leaving Iona with 33 remaining employees. That's a big jump. I joined a multimedia team here that was 12 people strong. I'm leaving it with 4 remaining multimedia production people. Weird.

One of my supervisors came up to me the other day and said he knew about the lunch that was planned as my last lunch here, but someday next week, he, Jim, and Shane (the cool kids of Iona I speak so highly of all the time) are going to take me to a "real" lunch at CC. CC is Iona talk for Club Cabaret, which is a strip club just outside of Peoria. I don't know if that invitation will ever pan out, but if they really do invite me, I'll certainly go. I mean, not for the strip club, just to strengthen the bonds I have to Iona of course.

I'll have to apologize for the lengths of my posts these days. I realize they're long and pretty self serving. But what can I say? I'm taking a big step, and it's weighing heavily on my mind right now. Will I make it as a freelancer? Will I have to stop eating? Will I survive well on a schedule where I don't know when my next paycheck is coming, and from where? How will I find business?

Ah, lots of questions to be answered.

I'm still confident in my decision. Even in the face of all the risks, I know it was right for me. Even knowing that it's possible that I'll fail miserably and end up working at a company either the same or worse than Iona, I know that I have to try. I would hate to be working here for the next 15 years, only to look back and wonder what would have happened if I had tried something else.

In a way, this is like graduating. It's closing one door to a section of my life and opening another.

My new life begins in less than 6 hours. Whoa.

reasons right now I feel like puking.

2001-09-01T17:00:00-07:00

I just wrong a long as post but have now deleted it. Let me sum it all up in just a few sentences:

Right now, I'm every single bad emotion that anyone could ever feel. I hope you all die in a horrible car accident or something more painful. I've decided to go this alone. No more depending on people, trusting people, believing people. From now on, everyone I know is a filthy fucking liar who doesn't deserve my time. I hate you all. Go to hell.
Fuck this noise. I'm going home.

A new day.

2001-09-02T17:00:00-07:00

It's a new day. A Monday. Around noon. If we pretend this wasn't a holiday, I would be at work right now. I would have been there for 3 hours. Instead I just woke up.

I want to apologize for the post I made yesterday. I was feeling pretty shitty and just posted nonsense for the sake of posting nonsense. It really meant nothing for the most part, although I guess there's some truth in all the nonsense I speak.

Well, today I start freelancing. I've got some things I need to take care of, and my day is pretty full tomorrow too.

That's about it on my end. I was going to recap the weekend but I don't see the point. I'd like to mention one thing I did though.

I went and saw "Jeepers Creepers". First of all, the name sucks, but it makes sense by the end of the movie. Second of all, I loved this movie with all my heart. If you don't want to read spoilers, don't read on.

It was very, very formulaic. Lately it's become trendy to define that formula and stick to it in the same movie, a la Scream. While I enjoyed Scream, I hated the rash of self parody horror movies that followed, and longed for the days of Jason and Freddy when horror was horror, rather than self referential bullshit.

Jeepers Creepers is about 2 kids driving through the country who get into trouble and have a psycho monster running after them trying to eat them for the rest of the movie. Not a brilliant plot mind you, but that wasn't the point.

There was 1 self-refential, self-parody line in the movie that I absolutely hated. Unfortunately it got a big laugh while all it did was make me sick.

In any case, the movie dealt with legends. The monster that was chasing them was thousands of years old, immortal, and did nothing but kill people.

The people I saw the movie with hated it. Despised it. Wanted to leave the theater in the middle. Going into it, they claimed to love horror movies, but they just didn't "get it".

They hated the "legend" of the monster. They said "old time horror movies don't have legends". Bull shit they don't. All the great horror movie monsters have legends. Jason drowned in the lake because of camp counselors who didn't do their job and has killed ever since. Freddy raped kids and got burned alive by their parents so he came back in their dreams to kill them. Mike Myers was a loony toons little kid who killed people and grew up to be a loony toons adult who killed people.

All these monsters were introduced to us in the first movie, and their legends were defined then. Jeepers Creepers followed this formula, and I loved it.

Now, to completely ruin the ending for you guys, in the last shot of the movie, we see the monster alive and kickin'. The people I was with hated that. "None of the classic horror movies lets the monster live". Bull shit they don't. They all do. Even though Jason wasn't technically the monster in Friday part 1, he was certainly in the movie and very much alive at the end. In every horror movie, they think they kill the monster but in one last glorious shot you realize they were wrong. In Nightmare, it was the car scene at the end. In Friday, it was Jason jumping out of the water. In Halloween, it was looking down and seeing that Michael's body had disappeared. The only difference was that in Jeepers Creepers they didn't even pretend to kill him off. He just sort of flew away.

The only thing that Jeepers Creepers needed to make it a kick ass, mid-eighties horror flick was sex (there was no sex in the movie, not even referrences to it), and a bigger group of kids who get picked off one by one.

In any case, the movie is for true believers in the Slasher genre. If you know more about the Scream series than you do about the Jason series, don't bother seeing this movie. If you want to see the first true slasher horror flick made in more than 15 years, this is the movie for you.

9:30? it's like I'm back at work.

2001-09-05T17:00:00-07:00

I woke up early this morning for a series of 2 meeting which should have taken the greater half of a day. Unfortunately, they did not. They took the greater half of an hour, leaving me to sit around for the rest of the day and be productive at the same things I was productive with yesterday, including but not limited to setting up several online portfolios, bidding on jobs, and replying the the dozens of emails that collected while I was sleeping.

Tomorrow is Spike and Mike's Twisted Animation Festival. I can't wait.

My first day of real work.

2001-09-06T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, I did some freelancing stuff yesterday, I guess. Only an hour or 2 (and yet earned $100, almost as much as I made per day at Iona), doing mindless stuff.

I slept in today, and sent out a lot of job requests to various people on the internet. I have one guy interested in me doing an animation for a TV pilot, as well as an animated opening sequence. I'm doing it for basically nothing, but it will be yet another credit for me on imdb.com. If the pilot gets picked up, I mean.

Today I'm going to look for more jobs on the internet, clean my room, and make a big list of places to visit tomorrow with my updated business cards and resume. On Thursday I have an early meetings. I'll have to get up ass crack early, and that will suck, but you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

This really is a big adjustment. Wow.

Yesterday was a

2001-09-07T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was a good day. Even though I didn't do anything to make myself any money, I still ended up being fairly productive. Today will be another one of those days where I don't have any projects to do for money, so I'll spend time fixing up my webpage, redoing my resume and business cards, and maybe even my demo reel if I get really ambitious.

Last night was Fuller's last night in town. He got hired on as an assistant manager at some fast food place so he transferred down to take it. It's not a great job and it doesn't pay well, but I'm so proud of the lad for getting out and doing something.

In any case, we ended up going to Gorman's. I had a nice time chatting with Angie and Fuller, which we haven't done for a long, long time. Fabish was there and we were being our goofy selves as per usual, and later in the evening I saw Dave McAtee, so I went and joined his table. I've seen him about 3 times since high school graduation. He's a lot like Fuller in some respects... really smart, really talented, but comes from kind of a fucked up background and because of that, has a hard time getting his act together. After high school graduation, he bought a $600 car and drove out to California and lived in that car for months. He describes that as the best time in his life. Interesting guy.

And today, starting right after lunch, I will be productive. I swear.

I swear to

2001-09-10T17:00:00-07:00

I swear to God, I've never been so pissed off as when I saw those Palestinians or Islams or whatever celebrating in the street after America's attack. Tossing out candy and screaming "God is great". Little fuckers. I say we nuke them. Nuke the world. Go America.

This thing is

2001-09-10T17:00:00-07:00

This thing is much harder to type into religiously without being at work. I have no set schedule anymore. I'm not complaining, since I LOVE not having to set my alarm at night, or working at 10:30 at night. It's the most fantastic thing ever.

Anyway, to sum up the past week, here's some stats:

Money made: $0.00.
Meetings attended: 2.
Jobs bid for: 25.
Serious personal injuries: 2.
Meals made: 2.
Cigarettes smoked: 4.

Ah, I think we need some sort of explaination on some of those. $0. True and misleading. I've sent out a few bills, but haven't gotten any money back. I've been working, but I'm not at the point where I can charge anyone yet.

I signed up for this service to connect freelancers to employers. I can search through hundreds of jobs and apply for them. You place a bid based on their explaination, and they view your profile and portfolio and award the project. They all have a time limit of about a week. I've applied for around 25, and definitely lost 3. I'm a finalist for 2, and it seems I've been awarded 1. Those are not bad stats since most of these jobs get 60 or 70 offers. The one that I've been awarded was an illustration job, as is one other I'm a finalist for. I would love to get these jobs. Despite all the work I do on computers, drawing and illustration will always be my first love. We'll see how these jobs work out for me.

Personal injuries: Fabish and I were watching Seinfeld, and there was some little skit where a guy spun around 3 times in an office chair. Convinced I could do way more than 3 times, I tried spinning around on my living room chair. On my first rotation, I cracked my knee on a door frame. I bled and it left a scratch and a bruise. It wasn't pretty. Today while doing the dishes I picked up a hot pan from the stove, put it in the water, and it bobbed up and hit my finger. It made that oh-so-pleasant burning noise, and left my finger red and swollen.

The meals I've made: an awesome chicken casserole that went over well with me and my roommates. Hamburger helper today. Good stuff. I like working at home because I can cook home cooked meals like this for cheaper than going to McDonald's or something.

I bought a carton of cigarillos because they came with a free Zippo. I've been smoking one a day. Enough to make the investment worth it, but not enough to ruin my teeth or lungs.

Ah, what else?

I need money, and fast. All my bills are paid off and I owe money to no one. Unfortunately, bills will be due soon enough, and I don't want to mooch off the roommates. I may have to borrow money from my dad which will be sort of humiliating, but everyone knew the first few weeks would be the hardest. Soon enough the jobs will start coming in. I can't wait. It's hard going from making so much to making nothing, but I'm making due for the most part.

This is getting too long, so I'll cut it off. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. It's amazing what a difference a change in employment makes.

However, I'm thinking I need somewhere to go and something to do sometimes. I think tomorrow I'm going to go apply at Circuit City tomorrow. Just for one day a week, and mostly for social reasons and discounts on DVDs and things. The dependable cash will be nice, but I seriously doubt it will make much of a dent in my bills. It will just be hard to explain to the manager why I would ever want to go from a high paying job as an animator to a register jockey making minimum wage. Ah well.

So I applied

2001-09-11T17:00:00-07:00

So I applied to work at Circuit City yesterday. I had forgotten how long and stupid those trivial job applications are. Honestly, I could take or leave the job. I don't care. It's just a way to get out of the apartment sometimes. I had to fill out a huge application and when that was over, I had to fill out this 100 question questionaire. I vaguely remember doing that for Kinko's, followed by a series of 4 interviews, only to be shot down. A few weeks later, they called back saying nevermind, I had the job. It's liberating just being able to say "Fuck it, I don't need the job", although, truth be told, I could really use the cash right about now. Or a week ago. Whichever.

Nothing else much is going on, though. A lot of half-work, I guess. It's hard to be motivated as days get longer and I'm still not getting paid. I make a lot of phone calls and work on personal stuff that will hopefully get me work. I bid on a lot of jobs. Nothing solid yet, although I was promised a job but have only gotten one email from him and nothing since. I need to spend one of these days just responding to everyone who sent me an email but I never heard from again. I think they owe me at least a rejection if that's what's going to happen.

Ah well. Back to work, I guess.

My long day.

2001-09-12T17:00:00-07:00

My long day.

I did a lot of work today. I made a lot of phone calls, and I went to this one guy's house to take pictures for this Quicktime VR thing I have to do for work. I accidently left my camera there, and boy am row and see if I can get it. Stupid, stupid me.

However, I did get this done.

I also almost got the Quicktime VR thing done, but I can't stop from worrying about that camera. I hope frost and/or dew doesn't fuck it up.

Things are just

2001-09-13T17:00:00-07:00

Things are just downright frustrating right now.

I went into this whole freelancing thing, fully aware that it would be a slow start and take a while before I started making as much as I was making at Iona. However, now that I'm 2 weeks into it, I'm not sure I can keep my head as high as it's been.

If I had stayed at Iona, I would have made a little over $1000 in these past 2 weeks. Instead, I've made $0. I've worked, sure, but not really. The one billable project I have going right now is lame as hell and can't be billed for quite some time. It's about half done. Maybe I'll send them a bill for half just to keep myself fed, since I am now completely out of money.

I honestly thought I would make some money in my first 2 weeks. I didn't dream I'd make as much as I made working at Iona, but I thought I would make SOMETHING. You know, $40 here, $50 there... it would be inspiring to make just a little bit on my own. I haven't done that yet. Most of the work I've done has been on my web page and demo reel, but it just sucks wondering where my next dollar or meal will come from. It sucks having to mooch on my parents and roommates after being so completely independent for so long.

It's getting harder to even get out of bed in the morning, knowing there's not really a job to do. "Your style just isn't what we're looking for", some people say. "You're perfect! Oh, but wait, we just lost funding," others say.

How frustrating. I'm not ready throw in the towel just yet, but here's my promise to myself: I will try this for 2 months. If, at the end of 2 months, I have made absolutely no money, I'll look for full time work wherever I can get it, even if it means crawling back to Iona.

This just in:

2001-09-15T17:00:00-07:00

This just in: Alkaline Trio is a fantastic band.

"When was it that you sold your life or wasted,
Every bite of that small slice you never tasted?
I guess I should be one to talk.
There's times when I can't even walk.
There's days I couldn't give a fuck,
and in between is where I'm stuck.
From blocks away I heard somebody screaming,
that small child inside of you that you left bleeding.
You stabbed him up not once but twice.
Cubicles will now suffice.
Some say it's the roll of the dice.
I think they're wrong, I know I'm right."

That's good stuff, I tell ya.

So, this weekend was about the least eventful weekend on earth. Every day since Thursday I've been invited to go to various bars, but was forced to decline their invites since I have no money. What a sad state of affairs. On Friday I didn't do anything until Alan got home, at which point we watched some TV and drank a couple beers. Mullens stopped by briefly. He's in the Marine reserves, so he's all packed and ready to go if we get the word we're going to war. We talked like old times, although it was weird that he had to update me on things that happened 5 months ago. Shit. 5 months. I used to know everything that was going on with the kid, and we've now missed 5 years of each other's life because of some stupid girl. Crazy.

Saturday night I did nothing. I sat on my couch. That's about it.

Oh, I've been picking up free meals wherever I can get them. My dad has taken me out to lunch a few times, and on Friday I went to dinner with my family and grandpa. Today I'm going to my sister's place. I went to my parent's again yesterday to talk to my dad about this project he's planning, and while I was there I stole as much food as possible. I miss being able to go out and eat whenever I want, and go out and buy DVDs when one I sort of want to see comes out.

The amazing turn around.

2001-09-16T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I was extremely productive today. I mailed out a demo reel to a guy in Beverly Hills about producing a national commercial. I doubt I'll get the job (I bid $6000 on it), but I feel accomplised that he liked my portfolio enough to ask for my reel.

I finished up exactly 3/4ths of the 360 degree room projects, and billed out the project. Iona called me today and they need an emergency Flash piece finished up ASAP. Hopefully I can get it banged out tomorrow and be a few hundred bucks richer, still. I bid on a bunch more illustration jobs online. I'd love to get way more illustration jobs and way less computer jobs. Drawing has always been, and will always be, the love of my life. The stuff I do in between is just to pay the bills, but unfortunately that always takes up most of my time.

So things are looking up. I should have quite the wad of self-made cash in my hot little hands by the end of the month, which will just feel awesome. Sure, most of it will just be used to pay off bills, and even then I probably won't have enough to pay them all off. But I've decided that I will be treating myself to a nice dinner when I make some money. I deserve that much, I think.

I keep listening to this Alkaline Trio CD. Man, that's one good CD.

Better and better

2001-09-17T17:00:00-07:00

Better and better, and better still.

Everything's coming up Wasson.

I did the rush job for Iona. 8 hours later, I'm $350 richer. Not too shabby if you ask me. If all goes well, I'll have some cash by the end of the week. I'll have made in 2 weeks about the same as I made at Iona in 2 weeks. Not exactly the outcome I was hoping for, but at this point I'll take what I can get. This job is harder, but I like it much, much more. And if I ever get an illustration job, I'll love it.

I got another job redoing a casino's web page. That should be fun. I don't know how long it will take me, but hopefully no more than a week. It's nice to be working.

Tomorrow will be the 3rd day in a row I wake up early. I'm driving about an hour to take the final sunroom pictures, coming home, banging out the last scroller, then sending out a bill and calling that project finished. Yee haw.

However, I still don't have a permenant home for www.timwasson.com. That little problem is turning into a big one.

I promise this will be the last update on the number of freelance jobs I have for a while.

Fuller and Callahan

2001-09-18T17:00:00-07:00

Fuller and Callahan stopped by last night. Ever since Fuller moved to Champaign, I've been seeing more of him. Strange how that works, eh?

Anyway, we went drunken bowling. Well, not really drunken, since it requires at least 3 games to get drunk and we only played 2. It was weird, since during the first game I was relatively sober and I scored exactly 100. The second game I was getting pretty tipsy and scored a 145. I should do everything drunk.

I solved my little homepage hosting problem. No more crappy Geocities, hello fast, good, host. Of course I have to pay for it, but it's only like $9/month or something. I also had to buy a new domain name. You're looking at the proud owner of BOTH www.timwasson.com and www.tim-wasson.com. Jealous? I thought you would be.

It's 9:30, and I've already been to Eureka and back. I woke up way too early this morning.

Last night was

2001-09-20T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was $1 drafts at Gorman's. Since Fabish owed me for several things due to the repair of his car, loaning him mine in the interim, etc., he treated me to a night out. It was fun. We grabbed a few seats at the bar, which was nice, but limited the conversation we had since I could only really talk to people 2 seats away, at the most. Since I only really knew 2 or 3 people, I guess that didn't matter too much though.

I saw Dave McAtee again, as well as all of Angie's roommates. I hadn't seen any of them in quite some time, so it was nice to say hi again.

And if that didn't make my day good enough, I also downloaded Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which I burned to video CD and watched on my nice big screen TV. It was quite strange though... the lips only matched the words rarely, and the colors got sort of funky sometimes. Plus, some scenes played really slow, then played really fast to make up for it. Weird.

I also downloaded American Pie 2 and The Others, which I'm going to burn to video CD today if I get around to it. There's got to be a way to fix the lip sync and the fast/slow problems. Something tells me it has to do with a system clock.

Also, I think the Jay and Silent Bob movie I got is a prerelease of some type. There were parts in there I don't remember from the theater. Bryan, Bryan, and whoever else who has seen it, was there a part right after Jay and Silent Bob arrived in Hollywood where they had a conversation with hookers about kinky things to do in bed? There were a few parts that stood out to me as new, but that one is the only one that comes to mind right now.

Last night was

2001-09-21T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was supposed to be dinner out with the boys. Unfortunately, some people got sick and others, like Fabish, just decided they didn't want to go. I ended up going to Hooters with Mullens and Angie. It was the first time we'd been out together since everything went down.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be as I waited for them to come pick me up. I was really dreading it. But it was almost a pleasant dinner, complete with them lying to me about their plans afterward, just like old times.

I came home and watched part of that telethon, but I got bored pretty quickly and started watching the first half of American Pie 2. I got a call to switch to the telethon so I could see Eddie Vedder singing "Long Road" with Neil Young. Amazing. I also saw Wyclef singing "Redemption Song" in true Bob Marly fashion. I'd love to hang out with Wyclef someday. He seems like a cool guy, although not nearly as cool as Eddie.

When Alan got home, we ordered a pizza and drank a few beers. I also ended up buying a keg for his little brother, and running into Angie's roommates yet again at the store where we bought it from. Strange how that works sometimes... you don't see someone for so long, then you run into them 2 nights in a row. The same thing happened with Dave. I hadn't seen him since high school graduation and more than 3 years later, I run into him randomly 3 times in 3 weeks. Weird.

Anyway.

Tonight I have no plans. I may or may not do some work depending on what else is going on. If I'm feeling really pathetic, I may go hang out at my sisters.

What a craptastic day.

2001-09-23T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I got my demo reel all ready to go. I spent a few hours at Kinko's, my favorite place on Earth and a former employer, printing out business cards, my new resume, and labels for my demo reel and box. That took much longer than expected, so it was 3:00 before I even got to use my handy self-made list of video production houses in Peoria. I went to all the places in Peoria that I knew how to get to before finally calling it quits at around 5, figuring most places were closing and didn't want to talk to me.

If there is a hell worse that cold-visits, I don't know what in the world it could possibly be.

It's not quite as bad as I'm making it out to be, I suppose, but it's pretty... I don't know the right word. But walking into a production house, claiming to be a freelancer and begging people to read your resume and look at your demo reel... it's a bit not fun, if you can imagine that.

I stopped by and was talking to this one guy, really nice fella. Our conversation went like this:

"I've spent the last year at the Iona Group... I don't know if you've heard of them."
"Oh yeah, I've heard of them."
"Right, well, I've been working there a year, but they wouldn't let me put any of the video work I've done for them on my demo reel. They said it would violate copyright regulations or something."
"Yeah, that's not why. It's because they're just mean."

So, I guess the Iona thing left a bad taste in his mouth. But he was impressed by what I had to offer, I guess. I dropped off 3 demo reels and resumes total, and no one watched the tape while I was there. Hopefully I'll start getting calls soon. We'll see.

The last few days have been uneventful at best. This weekend I did virtually nothing, barely leaving the apartment. It's fun to have no money sometimes, but when you really want to go out and have a good time, being broke blows.

Day 2 of

2001-09-24T17:00:00-07:00

Day 2 of driving around dropping off my demo reel to anyone that would watch. Today was better than yesterday in some respects, worse in others.

The better parts: I dropped off 4 demo reels, leaving only 3 or 4 left to get rid of. 2 people expressed interest. They don't have jobs for me just yet, but said they "sometimes get offers they don't know how to do", and suggested I could help them out. So hopefully something will pan out there.

The worse parts: I got so incredibly lost on more than one occassion. Peorians should just stick to Peoria, I think. I made the trek into Pekin, and my God, that is one ass-backwards town. I swear the guy who designed the roads there must have been laughing his ass off as he drew the plans. At one point I was at an intersection of 3 streets, all of which named "Court". How the fuck does that happen? How in the world can one street intersect itself 3 times in one area? Amazing. 2 way streets turned into 1 way with absolutely no advance notice, causing you to either unwillingly turn down an unknown street or face cars headed the wrong way. Streets stopped for blocks at a time, then started again a half mile later. I couldn't believe Pekin is a real place. Then I headed into Washington. Christ, don't even get me started on Washington. So, I'm on Washington Road when it finally ends, sort of. It doesn't really end, it just sort of drives into a big fountain. There's a weird ass diagram that says "Washington Rd." with a picture below of what sort of looks like a 'cent' symbol, only minus the line that goes through the "c". Follow? Anyway, I figure this means I drive around the God damn fountain and I'll be on Washington Road again. Nope. I'm on Peoria Street. Finally I pull into a gas station and ask how to get back to Washington Road. Apparently Washington Road is called Peoria Street for 3 blocks right after this "Washington circle" nonsense, then it goes back to Washington Road. Anyway. That sucked.

So, I get home and it turns out I have an unpaid job. It's more of a consoltation job, really. I give this guy some information on how to create a webcam and in return he gives me some free web space. So far, all is well. Then it turns out that this webcam is for an adult page, in which a young lady will take her clothes off and a dirty old man jerks off to it and pays. Okay... I thought. The free web space they're giving me is on a porn server. Porn space is very expensive, and when you have a porn site you're pretty much guaranteed to make craploads of cash. But it's sort of a moral dilemma... will I be selling my soul to the devil in making money off porn? Will it compromise my integrity? Questions questions.

I just did something I probably shouldn't have... I bought Total Recall and Blood Simple on DVD. Good movies, but I don't know if I really have the cash to go out and buy DVDs anymore...

Oh man oh

2001-09-25T17:00:00-07:00

Oh man, oh man, oh man.

Day 3 of driving around dropping off my demo reel at places. I have 1 reel left, and no where else in Peoria to visit.

So, as I was dropping off my 3rd reel today, it dawned on me. I have become the guy I laughed at while working at Iona.

See, my cube was right next to the receptionist, so people were always coming in and dropping off their reels, resumes, etc. She'd call back to one of the big bosses, and they'd claim to be in a meeting so they wouldn't have to talk to whoever it was dropping off the package. It was sort of understood that they were salesmen, and the people in charge had no time to talk to salesmen.

Well, today all 3 receptionists said that the person I needed to talk to was in a meeting. I can only hope that they at least get my reel delivered to them and take a look at it. I guess in a sense I AM a salesman, and that thought is pretty scary. I never wanted to be a salesman, I always wanted to be an artist.

On the upside, I bid on a multimedia CD project. It was a big project and I bid very, very high, never intending to actually get the deal. I mean, I bid VERY high. Well, the lady in charge emailed AND called me today, all excited, and told me she mailed me a bunch of information on the CD. She's probably doing that to a few other people, but that makes me feel good. I'll make a more educated bid on the project and she'll award it to someone, hopefully me. That would be amazing if I ended up getting it.

God, I hope some money starts coming in soon.

I haven't done

2001-09-26T17:00:00-07:00

I haven't done much today, basically because I can't even think of anything to do.

I've given my information out to everyone I know, and now it's just sort of a waiting game. This part sucks, especially since I've been out of money for so long and I'm getting the urge to buy things. Those who know me well know that I'm no good at resisting that urge.

This thing is

2001-09-29T17:00:00-07:00

This thing is getting harder and harder to update.

So, Thursday night. Fabish's friend was having a kegger for her 21st, so I went. At midnight we went to the bars, but since me, Fabish, and KJ are poor we stayed at the one with dollar drafts. I drank a little more than I should have. I used to go out drinking a lot and got drunk very rarely. Well, I've pretty much stopped drinking due to lack of money, so I'm not used to it anymore. 3 beers these days feels like 10 would have in my prime.

Friday I woke up several times to dry heave, as is the norm for me after a night of drinking. I had plans to go see Jaimee that day, but I was feeling shitastic and called them off. After sleeping about 15 hours I was feeling better and went up to see her. I won't see her again before my birthday, so it was sort of a birthday celebration. She took me out to dinner and made me a cake and everything. I actually had candles to blow out. I never have candles, or even a cake for that matter. Birthdays never meant much in my family. I always got my birthday presents a few months early and by the time the actual day rolled around, all I got was a card. I've only had one birthday party my whole life. I still remember it... it was lots of fun. I guess I'm a quality over quantity guy. Plus, 22 isn't even a special birthday. No one cares. I wasn't expecting any celebration or recognition at all.

So anyway, Saturday came around and I went birthday shopping with my mom. I got new shoes, a couple new pairs of pants and sweaters and a jacket. I've never owned a jacket before. I always owned a coat. In that weather that was too hot for a coat and too cold for a sweater, I always ended up either sweating or freezing. No more of that for me. I have a jacket.

Last night I was threatened with several plans I would have been forced into, but luckily none of them worked out. I wasn't in the mood to do anything other than sit around and watch some movies. So that's what I did.

And now it's Sunday. My dad offered to buy me lunch, but I actually declined this time. I'm just not hungry at all. Abby looks like she's in the mood for a walk in the park, so maybe I'll be a nice fella and take her there.

So I ended

2001-10-01T17:00:00-07:00

So, I ended up taking Abby on a walk with my new shoes on. It was a long walk, and now I have 2 huge broken blisters on the back of each foot. They really hurt. I haven't put on a pair of shoes since. I walk around with Fabish's sandals now when I need to leave the apartment.

Last night Mullens stopped by with a 12 pack. We drank beer and discussed his plans for Angie's party. It was funny to see him tiptoe around the fact that it was also my birthday, but the party was not for me. "So, Angie's party... I mean, your guy's party starts..." Stuff like that happened a few times. All I could do was laugh, really. I mean, it's her 21st and my 22nd. Of course hers is a bigger deal. That doesn't bother me.

So I guess Fabish and I are picking up the keg and heading over there around 5ish or 6ish. We'll hang out for a while and hit the bars at midnight since Angie will officially be 21. I don't know if I'll go to the bars or not. I probably shouldn't, since I don't have any money or anything.

Also, the Boogeymen DVD comes out today. I'm still debating on whether or not to treat myself to an early birthday present or to just save my money for something a little more necessary, like food.

happy birthday to me.

2001-10-02T17:00:00-07:00

So, I went out last night. It was Angie's 21st birthday, so she was having a party. Fabish and I picked up the keg and headed over there and visited with Angie's roommates and family until Angie finally got home. She wasn't surprised at all. I thought that was pretty funny. At midnight we went to Gorman's, then downtown to Sully's and Big Al's, of course. I didn't drink anything after leaving Angie's house, since I was not in the mood to get stupid drunk.

The first couple times they sang "Happy Birthday" to Angie it didn't bother me. After the 3rd or 4th time I heard it, I wanted to slap someone or yell out my own name at the appropriate time. I thought I could handle it, but it sucks having your birthday ignored while another person gets it celebrated by everyone in the world. I did get into the bars without paying the cover charge, so I guess that was nice.

My parent's just took me out to Damon's. They gave me a stupid hat to wear, and the waiters and waitresses sang me Happy Birthday. I was glad to hear it at least once.

And thus ends the least eventful birthday of all time, with the exception of my 20th birthday. Boy did that birthday ever suck. I'll leave that story for another journal entry.

Computer fixed, because I am a genius.

2001-10-04T17:00:00-07:00

You heard me. Before this blasted thing was crashing every time I tried to do anything even slightly processor intensive. With a freelancing job, pretty much everything I do is processor intensive.

I figured it was an overheating problem so I went in today and spent $60 buying more fans for it. I'm up to 4 now, and my computer is really loud. I've spent the last 20 minutes or so trying to crash it and failing miserably. Hopefully this little problem is solved.

And now it's back to work.

It's official.

2001-10-04T17:00:00-07:00

I am now a freelance illustrator. Before, I was just a freelance multimedia designer. But not anymore. Now I'm a freelance illustrator.

I got a job drawing "gag gifts", like whoopie coushins and shock buzzers and stuff. I'm sure all guys will remember those old ads in the back of Boy's Life advertising them... well, now I'm drawing them. The way I got the job was a bit odd and I wasn't positive I even had it, but he sent me a check for the first 1/3 of the project and promised me that I am his "go to" guy for this entire project, as well as a lot of stuff he's got coming up.

He's a strange fella, making money in weird ways in weird places. He's in charge of several sponsored websites, all of them a bit goofy, like Clumsy Crooks, and he assures me that he can keep me pretty busy. Awesome. I'm drawing cartoons for money. I haven't done that since I was 16. It's an exciting time.

Plus Iona just gave me more work to do, so next week I could make a grand or so. Of course, then I probably won't work again for a few weeks, but still. It's exciting.

It's a shame my computer is acting weird though... I can't get this stuff done with computer problems, you know. I'll get it figured out, I hope.

Go America.

2001-10-07T17:00:00-07:00

I've been watching the news for the past few minutes, and of course they're describing the attacks on Afghanistan. All I have to say is "GO USA!"

They showed some footage of "protestors" in Afghanistan. They looked so sad and tired and defeated. I almost felt sorry for them, until I remembered the footage of how New York residents looked on the day of the attacks. I remembered the same country celebrating at the loss of so many innocent lives, tossing out candy and cheering. There's no way I can feel sorry for anyone in that country now.

Afghanistan is to blame. They've had nearly a month to hand over Bin Laden and they chose not to. A month. We've been more than patient, and it's good that we're taking action.

Some people with high Muslim population are condemning the attacks. "Innocent people will die", they say. No shit? What about those thousands of innocent Americans who died? They had no chance of survival. No warning.

And now Bin Laden is calling for all Muslims to take up arms against Americans. What in the fuck is that all about? Bin Laden is a coward behind the death of 6,000 Americans. American fights back and Bin Laden throws a hissy fit saying the attacks are unfounded.

I can't understand anyone in the world saying the attacks are unfounded. America was attacked. Brutally, horribly attacked. No warning, no hint, no nothing. How can anyone say that we're wrong by giving them a month do what we say? We told them an attack was coming if they didn't follow our rules. They thought we were bluffing apparently, so they got what they deserved.

I don't want more innocent people to die, but I certainly want the guilty to be punished. I want the entire world to know that terrorist attacks on America will not be tolerated.

And that's about all I have to say about that. Go America.

I cut off all my hair.

2001-10-09T17:00:00-07:00

I went in to get my haircut today, and as I sat in the chair the lady asked me 2 questions.

It's been a while since you got your haircut, huh?
and
Who did your highlights?

I had to laugh at the second question. I explained that I dyed my entire head many months ago and simply hadn't gotten it cut since then. I was getting really shaggy. She cut off every colored piece of hair, so I'm back to really dark brown now. It's weird walking by a mirror... it doesn't even look like me. The week or 2 after I died it blond I had the same feeling. I'm thinking of bleaching my hair this time. That would be cool. We'll see.

Not much has been happening on my end in the past few days, which would explain the recent lack of updates. Been working, yes working, quite a bit. Believe it or not, it's actually nice to pay bills again. I love being able to pay for stuff. It's such an amazing feeling after being broke for 6 weeks.

Not all my bills are paid off and I'm out of money again, but that doesn't really matter. More money and more projects are on their way, and I'm not worried about it at all.

I also bought a new toy. It's one of those printer/scanner/fax machine/copier combos. The best part is that I can write it off as a business expense. It's a good way to justify buying toys. I need more business expenses.

I've spent the

2001-10-12T17:00:00-07:00

I've spent the last few days working my ass off on these few projects I have going. It's so, so nice to be making money again. It's been too long.

I made a few more cold calls to different companies begging for work. I got some interest generated. I guess this is what people were refering to when they said it's 3 months of building contacts before it finally starts paying off. I can't wait for the payoff.

Well, tomorrow is the Goldfinger concert. Reel Big Fish is also playing, but I couldn't care less about them. I'm there for good 'ole Goldfinger. My sister is having an open house, so I'll be there for a while and will be going to the concert with my brother in law and some of his friends. It should be a good time.

Then Tuesday is They Might be Giants. It's quite a week for concerts. Thank God I actually got some money coming to me or I wouldn't be able to afford these shows.

Mest, Reel Big Fish, and Goldfinger

2001-10-14T17:00:00-07:00

So, I saw the big show last night, and it was awesome.

Saturday was a fun day all around. My sister was having an open house, so friends and family were invited over. I spent most of the day talking to Robert's friends from college, who I sort of knew and hung out with back in the day. Then it was time for the concert.

The concert was great. Mest was much better than I expected them to be. I'm not a reel big fan of Reel Big Fish, but they certainly put on a great show. And Goldfinger... man, I don't even need to mention how awesome they are.

It was a bunch of cool bands who just goofed off and interacted with the audience a lot. I love shows like that, where the bands aren't afraid to talk to the crowd. Some highlights were the Mest impression of bin Laden, the guys in bikinis singing "I'm a Survivor", the rock, paper, scissors match, the butthole licking, the guy flashing the stage, and all the people who made it past security and got on stage with the band, and had no idea what to do with themselves once they get up. It was a really fun show. I'm downloading a bunch of Mest songs right now... if I like them, I'm going to have to track down some of their CDs.

After the show, Brian Kelly invited me over to his place. He and some buddies of his from Chicago were in town. I stopped by at around 12:30, and they were just finishing up Army of Darkness. John Zarr later stopped by. It's always good to catch up with those guys. We sat around and talked for a while, then went to Steak 'n Shake for a late night snack and called it a night at around 3:30. It was a really fun time all around and I had a good time. I was pleased that Zarr had gotten a job better than the movie theater, although he still worked there occassionally for extra cash. I need to call that guy sometime. I hate the drifting off between friends that has been pretty frequent lately.

I have $125 to my name, and bills due in 5 days. I had a great week this week, but tons of bills to pay. More money should be on it's way, and I'll really need it pretty soon now.

Books Books Books

2001-10-17T17:00:00-07:00

So I was checking over my finances and comparing them to what I owe and what I expect to be coming in, and I actually had some cash to burn. Sure, I could have been responsible and saved it, but what fun is that? Instead I ordered a bunch of books from Amazon.com... 3 books on Flash ActionScripting (2 on fun and games if you can believe that), and one called "The Business of Illustration", focused on making illustration a full time job. It should be an interesting read, and hopefully one I'll learn a lot from it. Plus it's a tax write-off, my new favorite reason to buy anything.

Last night I went up to DeKalb to visit Jaimee and see TMBG. They played an awesome show, although they played too many songs from Mink Car that I didn't know. I like singing along at concerts, and it's hard to do that when they play songs I don't know. Anyway, it was a really good time. It was the 4th time I had seen my boys in concert, and the second best show I've seen them play. My favorite show was the first time I saw them, when they formed an 800 person conga line to "No One Knows My Plan" all around the Madison Theater.

And Callahan just asked me if I wanted to see New Found Glory November 2nd. If I end up going, that will be a bunch of really great concerts in a row, after a really long dry spell of no concerts.

And finally, I am REALLY close to securing a CD-ROM job that I would *love* to get. It's about mosquitos and it's for a job in Los Angeles. The lady I've been talking to is rooting for me, but needs to approve me to a whole council or something. I've got to send her some more samples and some references. That will be the 3rd package I've sent to her regarding this job... It certainly is a lot of work to get the job, but I just know it will be worth it if (or should I say when?) I get it. Last I heard she was still waiting for funding, so I hope that goes through. I'd hate to be doing all this for nothing.

I had a

2001-10-18T17:00:00-07:00

I had a funnish night last night. I went out to a few bars with Fabish, KJ, and Callahan. I ran into quite a few people I knew, and I drank beer. That's all it takes for me to have a good time.

I sent out a bill to one of my clients. I am having a stellar month. This month, I'll probably make more than I would have if I stayed at Iona. That's pretty remarkable in my second month into this freelancing thing, and it's all due to one guy in Florida who absolutely loves me. I've heard that all it takes to be an ultra-successful freelancer is 5 clients who really like you. Well, I have one now. That's a good thing.

Oh, here's a funny story. I was at a bar last night and ran into a guy I knew in gradeschool named Chris Tippet. Here's our conversation:

"So, Tim, do you still draw pictures?"
"Yeah, I sure do."
"Really? So what are you doing these days?"
"Well, I'm a freelance animator and illustrator. I do..."
"Cool! So where do you work?"
"I'm freelance, so..."
"Where is that? Is that in Peoria?"

Anyway, I thought it was really funny.

Everyone reading this should download "The Innocent" by Goldfinger/Mest/Good Charolette. Go. Now.

Happy Anniversary to me.

2001-10-19T17:00:00-07:00

Tomorrow marks the 1 year anniversary of my Live Journal experience. I've never had such a detailed account of an entire year before. I've spent the last few nights reading through all the entries, seeing where I was a year ago and comparing it to where I am now. Self-reflection is made a lot easier with a tool like LJ. I was in a remarkably different place a year ago... friends have come and gone (mostly gone), relationships have been established, broken, re-established, improved, worsened... relatives have died, gotten married, gotten pregnant. Old careers were quit, new careers established. I've been rich, been poor, been happy, been depressed, been retrospective, been drunk, been everything.

First, the friends that have come and gone. First of all, Missy. At the beginning of the journal, I was using a fake name for her, but I was just obsessed with her. I wanted to date her so bad and despite all the clues she was giving me, I didn't get the hint that the feeling wasn't mutual. I cut off ties, which was a brilliant thing to do. A few months later, we were able to talk as friends. Good friends. We got along better than ever without the weird "I like you" tension. It was good. That new and good relationship lasted until she was too busy for me once again, and she left. For good this time? I don't know... we'll see.

And Barb... where do I start? Around December she started trying to be my friend again and I tried to tell her I wasn't interested. When her dad died, I visited her to extend my condolences even when we weren't on best terms. That meant a great deal to her, and put us on "not bad" terms. She still enters and leaves my life occassionally. I don't mind that, necessarily. She promises to be a more dedicated friend. I don't see that happening, so that's the end of any kind of "relationship" as far as I'm concerned. She'll always be an aquintance, and always someone where I'll wonder where she is and what she's doing. Anything beyond that, I'm not interested anymore. Sometimes people just grow apart. There's no sense in fighting it. Sometimes it's for the best.

Jaimee, the best thing to happen in the long (yet short, surprisingly) run of bad choices in girls. We've had our ups and downs, our discussions that could have gone much better than they did, but it's been a good relationship in every form it's taken. Even the bad parts I've learned a lot from. We've both made some not-great choices, but throughout it all, we kept hacking away, knowing we could find a common ground. We have, and I know I'm the better for it. Hopefully she is too. She's also the only relationship that's been established in the past year, in a year that I lost way more friends than I gained.

Brice moved to California, inspiring me to take drastic steps in my life as well. Sure, he's made some not so great decisions in his life, but this last one was a good one. I'm happy for him, and I wish him the best. I'm not sure if I'll ever see him again. Probably not... he lives so far away and hasn't even emailed me since he's been out there.

Bryan J. Wolford was living with Brice a year ago. He started off as a friend of a friend, but somewhere along the line we became friends. It was a good transition. I'd go to their place and hang out with whoever happened to be there at the time, drinking beer, watching South Park or Friday the 13th movies and occassionally planning or writing our own little project. I haven't lost Wolford as a friend, but he sure did make it a lot more difficult to visit him by moving a few hundred miles away.

Bryan J. Polk also lived with Brice and Bryan briefly, so we got to be buddies during that time. Since Wolford has moved, I've seen less of Polk until recently, when he's gone out of his way to invite me along on some of his plans and drop by the apartment occassionally. I hope this trend continues.

Steph moved way out to Colorado. She's also not off the "friend" list, but it's hard to contribute to my life in an "every day" type way without her living in the same state. I see her occassionally, but not nearly often enough for my taste.

Fuller and I had our ins and outs as well. I told him to his face that I hated it when he got a girlfriend, since it meant that I wouldn't see him again for a few months, when they broke up. He resented me for saying it, and we stopped talking. When he calls, I'll always be willing to go out and see him, but I'm not going to invest a whole lot in that relationship anymore. It's just not cool to me when people come and go like that. Of course, it's a moot point since Fuller got a promotion and moved about 100 miles away and I never see him anymore.

Alan moved in around January. It was nice living with someone after braving it on my own for a few months. I had some extra cash to throw around, and someone to talk to at night. It took a few months, but we're finally on good enough terms that we'll go out to eat together and things, on the rare occassion that we're home at the same time.

Fabish moved in in May. He'd been my best friend my entire life, and moving in did nothing but make that relationship stronger. His schedule is more similar to mine than Alan's, so I see him more often. It was good timing too, since in May I was dealing with some pretty horrible shit with some of my former friends, so his company to me was more appreciated than I could ever express to him or anyone else. It really did keep me sane during those time. Speaking of which...

Angie. When I started this journal, I was talking to Angie every day, hanging out at her house and doing stuff with her every weekend. Out of all the lost friendships this year has presented to me, this is the one that hurt the most. She'd been keeping pretty serious secrets from me, using another best friend as an accompliss. Throughout the course of this journal I made several observations that should have clued me in to what was going on, but in the words of Jaimee "you see what you want to see". It took Wolford to snap me out of it and show me what was happening. All the secrets came crashing down, and I was forced to see Angie for what she really was. I consider myself a great judge of character, but Angie had me fooled for quite some time. Realizing the truth was quite possibly the hardest thing I dealt with this year, and it came at a time when I had other things to deal with too. It wasn't fun.

Mullens... Angie's "crime" wasn't committed alone. Mullens played a huge part of it too, but after the secrets started being told, Mullens confronted me and flat out told me that he didn't consider it my business and he wasn't going to tell me the whole truth. I respected him for that over Angie's technique. 6 years of friendship were down the drain, but at least it was proof that I hadn't misjudged Mullens' character. He's a good guy. We just took different approaches to our friendship, that's all. He's been trying recently to get us on back on a casual friend level. I'm not going to be the one to initiate anything, but I'll follow along with wherever he's directing this friendship.

I could add more... Becky and Shea, who were fast becoming "friends" rather than friends of friends. With the whole Angie/Mullens split, they went on Angie's side and I haven't heard from them since. Steph was also forced to take sides, ruining the whole dynamic our great group of friends used to share. KJ and Callahan, who are fast becoming "friends", beyond the "friend of a friend" thing.

Almost 2 months ago, I quit my job and started a new one. I was at a point where I didn't think I had anything else to lose. My friends were all leaving, going on to bigger and better things, and I was stuck alone in a job I hated. I took inspiration from people like Wolford and Brice and Fuller and up and quit, taking a big chance on the self-employment thing. Things are going well so far. Will I stay in Peoria? For at least another 6 months, yes. I'm still considering leaving, but I don't know where I'd go anymore. If the self-employment thing works, I could live anywhere and still do okay. As the past year has taught me, only time will tell certain things.

Other big news... my sister's pregnancy. I was the last one to find out, as is the norm these days. I'll be an uncle for the first time, which I'm pretty excited about. I really can't wait til she has this kid. I've been pestering them to have one since they got married. Their second anniversary is in December and the baby is due in January. I've waited long enough.

My cousin Russ also got a girl pregnant and got married, in that order. I can't say that I agree with either decision, but I wish him the best. He moved from Galesburg to Kansas City and is doing okay for himself. His sister Val also got pregnant and had her baby. She also lives in Kansas City, so I haven't seen either baby. My cousin Eric also had a kid, who I also haven't seen since he lives in Witchita.

My grandma passed on this year. It wasn't unexpected, and was kind of a relief after how sick she had been. My grandpa, last living grandparent, is still as active as ever, repairing his roof and cutting down trees. Not bad for an 80 year old man. I hope I inherited the gene that lets him do that stuff at his age. My aunt Nellie also passed away. It also wasn't unexpected after a long fight with cancer.

Other random things that happened this year that don't deserve their own paragraph: I've been introduced to new and great bands... New Found Glory, Alkaline Trio, Saves the Day, Get Up Kids, NOFX, etc. I met the one and only Bruce "the man" Campbell. I read his book cover to cover. I took a few road trips to my old home, Chicago, revisiting old ghosts and making peace with the city that made me miserable for so long. I turned 22, the most uneventful birthday on earth. I sold my Camaro (still hurts to talk about it), got a Daytona, sold the Daytona, got a Jeep. Terrorists attacked the US, scaring the entire country.

It's been a big year, and a good one for the most part. Despite the dissolved friendships, things are good and looking up. I'm growing up... getting older, getting wiser (mostly). Some friendships forged in high school or gradeschool just don't have the substance to keep it together as things change. Personalities change, places in life change, everything changes. I finally accepted that this year, and no longer try to hold on to relationships just for the sake of holding on to them. Sometimes it's best to let them go and wait until you know things are better. I've come to peace with everything that's happened in the last year, and ready to go forward without looking back. That's something I've never been great at, but I'm certainly going to give it my best shot.

Countdown.

2001-10-21T17:00:00-07:00

I've been trying to get this job for a long, long time. It's a CD for schools in California. It's a big project, and I could really use the money. I didn't think I stood a chance in hell of getting it, but applied on a whim and sent them my webpage address.

Well, they loved the webpage and wanted to see a sample CD, so I mailed them one. Then they wanted a demo reel, so I mailed them mine. Then they wanted a print portfolio, so I just got back from sending that off. Let's do a countdown on what I've invested (monetarily) into this project:

1 demo reel: $2.00
tape case: $1.50
tape cover: $1.50
2 sample CDs: $1.00
2 CD covers: $2.00
10 color prints: $8.00
15 b&w prints: $5.00
3 seperate shipping charges: $15.00

That's $36 total I've spent trying to get this project so far. If I don't get it, I'm going to be one bitter, bitter man. $36 is 2 VERY nice meals, 5 movies, 2 DVDs, 3CDs, groceries for 2 weeks. I'll be so mad if it turns out I just threw that away.

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.

junkmachine.com

2001-10-21T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm doing this webpage for a local band and was on a quest to find a good, cheap host for him to use. In the process, I found an awesome one. They even have price freeze, which means that when I sign up, that's all they'll even charge me... my rate can never go up. Since they're a new company, they're practically giving the things away. Free domain, $5/month for unlimited space and hits. So, I went ahead and signed up, thinking I may use the service in the future. Which means I own more domains than a man should own.

timwasson.com
tim-wasson.com
hidethecam.com
junkmachine.com

I don't know why I picked junkmachine, really... it seemed good at the time. I don't have a clue what I'll put there, though. I'll figure something out. I wanted junkfactory.com, but it was taken.

And speaking of hidethecam.com, I need to update it. And I will. Right now. It will be up later, funny as ever.

It's been an

2001-10-24T17:00:00-07:00

It's been an uneventful few days. Ah well, such is life, sometimes.

Things are going well for me, though. This freelancing thing is great, and I am making some fat cash.

My one big client is a guy named Dave. I'm working on the graphics for a site called funnyprizes.com for him, in which you submit your email and the email of 5 of your friends, and you get a free prize. He runs a newsletter that is sent out to 2 million people per week, and they will be endorsing funnyprizes.com in this newsletter. He expects 1 million people to visit funnyprizes.com within the first month.

One million. One friggin' million visitors. 1 million people. 1 million people are going to see my drawings. A MILLION PEOPLE WILL SEE MY DRAWINGS. In case you don't understand, let me explain it a little more. 1 million people are going to see my illustrations.

Granted, they're not the best drawings in the world. They're drawings I would have done at like 10 or 12 years old, but that's not the point. The point is that I have never done anything that people would have seen on such a wide scale. I mean, 1 million is huge. I can't even grasp how many people 1 million people is, and they're going to be seeing something I had a hand in creating. That alone is worth more money than Iona ever could have given me. 1 million.

So I was talking to Dave tonight, and he wants to send me a semi-consistent income. Marvelous! He alone is going to be paying me almost as much as I made at Iona (after taxes, so I still need to make some money from other clients), which will be nice... I'll have some reliable income.

AND, as if that wasn't enough, once I get junkmachine up and running, he's going to advertise it for me via his newsletter. I plan on junkmachine.com being just like an entertainment site with games and movies and music and such, by me and other people. Hopefully I can rig something up so people can submit their own games and movies. It should be good. Good 'ole junkmachine.

It will be a lot of work and many months in the making, but hopefully I can make something good out of a crappy domain like junkmachine.com.

So, that's all the news in my life right now. I'm so glad I quit Iona. And to think, a little more than a month ago I was all frustrated and pissed off that I wasn't getting any jobs. Who would have thought I'd be here this early in the game? Meeting Dave was a lucky break.

I've got a meeting at Iona tomorrow for an upcoming project. I'm also going to Best Buy to buy a copy of Windows XP... it's $99 for the upgrade, but with the upgrade I'll get 256 megs of RAM free, a free MP3 player, a free music CD, and a free cable/DSL router. Granted, I don't *need* any of those things, but they couldn't hurt, right? Right.

It has come

2001-10-25T17:00:00-07:00

It has come to my attention that people suck. Thank you.

Anyway, last night I went out with Fabish and KJ to Gorman's, who were having $.50 drafts for some reason. Sure, the cups were small and plastic, but they were also $.50. We spent the first half of the evening brainstorming on cartoon ideas among other things. All 3 of us have a sort of odd sense of humor and weird ideas about things. Once junkmachine is up and running, I'm sure we'll have some weird, weird cartoons to put up.

Later in the evening Amy and Bridget joined us. They didn't stay long... KJ and Bridget had to get to their respective places to do homework of some type, and Amy was tired and wanted to go to bed. I was home by midnight and started watched Desperado, but fell asleep right after the naked Salma Hayak scene.

Ah... How's things

2001-10-28T17:00:00-07:00

Ah... How's things, world? I am good and getting better every day.

The weekend was good. I was all geared up on Friday to sit back and watch some of the scary movies they were playing on Encore, but Fuller called and asked me to Gorman's. I went, and didn't have a horrible time or anything. I still have no respect for Angie, and I probably never will respect her again. But anyway, we drank some beer and ate some hot wings and some cheese fries, and it was fun.

Saturday I went up to visit Jaimee. We ate the world's greatest chicken strips at Chilli's, and rented one of the best horror movies the world has ever known. Good preparation for Halloween if you ask me.

So that was my weekend. Now I'm at work, trying to get my dual monitor thing to work. I'm chatting online with Microsoft's new "chat" thing for tech support. Yee haw.

Guess who has

2001-10-28T17:00:00-07:00

Guess who has 2 monitors again? I do, I do.

I am so

2001-10-30T17:00:00-07:00

I am so bad at being a salesman. I am really, really horrible. I should get on the phone right now and call up my potential clients and bug them for work. I should make little memos and send them out in the hopes of landing a few more jobs. I just can't bring myself to do it for some reason.

Things are starting to come together, though. I can feel it in the air... soon I will be a millionaire.

We better get some Trick or Treaters tonight, damn it. I spent like $10 on candy for them. The neighborhood kids know us... hopefully they'll come around.

I got one

2001-10-31T17:00:00-07:00

I got one trick or treator last night... a ninja. If my cup was half empty, I would say that all my candy went to waste. But, my cup is half full, and the bright side is that I have a bunch of candy I can eat by myself.

Fabish took me to Hometown Buffet for dinner... he won 2 free passes a few weeks ago and I had been looking forward to the day for quite some time. Dinner was good... we ate a ton.

After that we came home and drank some beers and watched some scary movies on TV. The remake of the Blob was on... Fabish and I used to watch that movie as a kid on parent's Betamax VCR. Good stuff.

I am working a lot, and I am happy. Go Tim.

Tonight I'm supposed to go with some of the guys from Iona to see Zoolander. I'm really looking forward to it... Rob, Matt, and Andrew will be there. Not the cool kids, mind you, but still cool guys. We're into the same things. It will be nice to talk to someone about Flash and 3D animation and ActionScript and have them know what I'm talking about. I miss that about going into work, I guess. Pretty much no one I know fully understands what I do, and if they do, they don't really have an active interest in it, or know much about it. Ah well. Now I know how my dad feels when he tries to talk to me about Psychology or how Fabish feels when he talks about sports.

Ever see that one episode of Northern Exposure where Whats-her-face meets a guy and flies him in to see Joel, because then Joel will have someone to talk to about medical things and being a doctor or whatever? Yeah, it's like that. I guess.

Last night was

2001-11-01T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was a lot of fun. I went out with a few of the guys I knew from Iona... Andrew and Shep. We saw Zoolander, which was hilarious, and then went out to eat at Steak 'n Shake. We talked about 3D animation, Flash, and web development. Andrew's freelancing career is taking off much, much faster and better than mine, so I'm happy for him.

After that, I went out to Gorman's with Alan for his 21st birthday. We drank some beers and came back home. Tonight we're going downtown and hitting all the bars, and tomorrow night is the party that I really, really don't want to go to. I'll live, but I won't enjoy it.

Boy did last

2001-11-02T17:00:00-07:00

Boy, did last night suck.

It was Alan's 21st, so I volunteered to take him out to dinner, and pay, of course. We had plans set up, but he wanted to go to the DMV and get his license updated first. It was about 4:30, so I figured he'd be home by 5:30, which is abotu dinner time, so all is well. 6:30 rolls around, then 7. I finally get the call saying dinner is off, so I had a very late dinner of chips and salsa. Mmm mmm good. We hit the bars around 9... the original group was me, Fuller, Angie, Laura, and Amanda (Alan's sister). I've had a falling out with Fuller, although we're back on good terms. Angie tries her best to not talk to me. Laura I hate, and Amanda I don't know well. So I spent my time at Gorman's talking to Fuller mostly, and occassionally Alan. Later in the night Erica, Alan's ex, stopped by and we chatted for 15 or 20 seconds. She brought along Julie, who I also don't like. Finally Callahan, Fabish, and KJ got there and saved me from the horrible time I was having. We played "drinking and driving", which is when you play those race car video games with a beer in one hand, steering with the other. I played Alan, and let him win, of course. After all, it was his birthday.

Then it was time for downtown. Our little group mostly stuck together and didn't talk to Alan's friends much. We also left early, around 1:30 or 2, before they went to Big Al's. I like a trip to Big Al's every now and then, but I really didn't want to spend the money, and I was sort of tired anyway. Plus, last time I went to Big Al's was on my birthay, almost exactly a month ago. I figure if I went to a strip club 2 months in a row, some would describe that kind of thing as "consistent". I don't want to be considered someone who frequents strip clubs. Twice a year is good enough for me.

And tonight is the big party. Yee haw. I am just so excited. No, really. I can't wait. I may be social for a while, but I think I'll spend a lot of time in my room tonight.

It hasn't been

2001-11-03T17:00:00-07:00

It hasn't been that long
Since we drank to the sunset, until it was gone
And down with it went our pain and fear
As we slowly broke contact
more and more with every beer
And we passed out in each other's arms
Both admitting we'd never felt better
Never felt so warm
But awoke in each other's eyes
Without wearing a stitch of clothing
We were both deeply in disguise
And maybe I just set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
In my own special selfish way
And if I hadn't set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
Hell knows where your heart would be today
Maybe with me

It seems like it's been so long
Since we kissed through the darkness
Until it was dawn
Up with it came our pain and fear
That we'd already lost each other
We both knew that the end was near
Maybe I just set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
In my own special selfish way
And if I hadn't set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
Hell knows where your heart would be today
Maybe with me Maybe with me

Update on the party on the 'morrow.

The party wasn't

2001-11-03T17:00:00-07:00

The party wasn't quite as horrible as I thought it was going to be. You get enough beer in the equation, and anything is fun, I guess.

Thankfully Mr. Bryan J. Polk stopped by and saved me from the conversations I would have had to have otherwise with the people there I didn't like much. We went through quite a bit of beer, and the apartment was trashed. As per usual, Fabish and I cleaned up the mess as Alan slept.

Nothing too exciting happened at the party, I guess. Played some Asshole, and it was the first time I had ever been Asshole. Then I turned out to be Asshole 2 times in a row. Weird.

That's about it, I guess. It was more uneventful than it was bad.

My parents just got done driving me around town checking out townhouses. Man, I can't wait to buy myself a townhouse. That will be pretty sweet. Although I need to figure out whether or not I'm staying in Peoria when my lease is up. I need to decide if and/or where I'm going within the next month or 2 to be prepared for whatever comes my way. Chicago? Milwaukee? St. Louis? Big cities are calling my name, I think.

The attack of the crazy old lady.

2001-11-04T17:00:00-07:00

Those of you who read hidethecam have heard about our encounters with the crazy old lady. Well, last night I was in Fabish's room chatting with him, and we thought we heard her singing to herself. Since Fabish's room shares a wall with her apartment, we put our ears to wall to see if we could hear what was happening. It's a strange fascination we have with her, I realize. It may or may not have been singing, but it was definitely talking or mumbling of some sort.

Suddenly the sounds stopped, so Fabish and I just put our ears closer to the wall. All of the sudden she started screaming very loudly, although we couldn't make out any words. Then she started hitting walls and banging things around. I ran to our back door and locked it, since she could very easily just walk right in, and we don't want that happening. Fabish told me to grab my camcorder and go out and see what was going on.

I got my trusty camcorder and ran into the laundry room, which is right next to her apartment. She was still screaming as we made our way around the corner to her front door. When we got there, we ran into Molly, who has an apartment a few floors up and came down to make sure the crazy old lady was okay. We chatted and laughed a bit before Molly actually knocked on her door to make sure she was okay.

She was fine, but pissed off because the people living one floor up was doing something moderately loud, apparently. Fabish and I didn't hear anything coming from their place, only hers. But regardless, that's why she was so upset and she was banging on things in an effort to get them to stop.

Today everyone in the building is talking about her. For such a little, crazy old lady, she sure can be loud.

townhouses, and why I hate people.

2001-11-06T17:00:00-07:00

I went today to look at townhouses to buy. I'm still considering moving to some far away land... I have about 2 months to figure out what's going to happen, I guess. The realtor was nice, and I'll feel bad not buying a place from him. Nice fella.

Why I hate people: I was bidding on this job to do a Flash website. The lady in charge of the project and I emailed back and forth several times because she praised the work I did on a few other Flash sites. I walked her through a few necessary steps in deciding how the site would be set up and designed, offering advice and suggestions and everything else. Everything was going splendidly until she told me that she was going to be making a decision based on the applicants who had applied through a freelance service that I'm not subscribed to. I told her I would subscribe to the service to seal the deal, to which she replied "Don't bother. I have enough applicants." What the shit is that? Then why did she keep asking my questions and ask for my advice? She wasted way more time than she needed to. If she chose someone else, fine, but it's really rude to tell me not to bother applying. Bah, I hate people sometimes.

My latest project.

2001-11-08T17:00:00-07:00

Well, here it is. I bought junkmachine.com, not knowing what to do with it, really. I put it up, so you can now take a look at it.

Things have been busy lately.. I went in for some meetings at Iona today, and I will be there tomorrow as well. Possibly Monday too. These will be big projects in the thousands of dollars, which will be really nice. Iona has a habit of dragging me into meetings promising me riches, then not giving me any work. I should start charging for meetings.

Fuckin' A.

2001-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/jason_x.html

It's about damn time. Some of us have been waiting for Jason X for like 2 years. By the looks of this trailer, it looks like it may be worth the wait. But c'mon... 2 years.

I just changed

2001-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

I just changed my picture.

It's from a video Fabish and I shot the night the crazy old lady went nuts. Windows XP doesn't capture from a Firewire port very easily, kiddies. Just in case you were wondering. I'll have to see if I can get that pesky problem fixed.

My head looks all weird and elongated in the picture. Ah well, it's good enough for now. I'd fix it, but I really just don't care enough.

Maybe I'll fix it anyway, since I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night at 10:00. May as well be productive, right? Right.

A conversation I

2001-11-11T17:00:00-07:00

A conversation I just had with my dad:

"So, Tim, have you thought any more about that house you looked at on Central?"
"Yeah, it's a great house... I love it."
"It's all your mom can talk about these days. She thinks it's a great deal."
"Yeah, it is."
"Do you think it's too early to buy?"
"Yeah... I won't want to move out for about 5 months. I don't think I can afford 5 months of apartment bills AND house bills."
"Well, what if your mom and I made your house payments for you until you were ready to move in?"

So, wow... We'll have to sit down and have a nice long chat about it, and I don't know if anything will come of it, but it would be nice if it did. It's a wonderful house that I think would be perfect for me. Except that it's pink. I can live without it being pink.

I got Thirteen Ghosts playing on my DVD player, but I deemed it "unwatchable", since the audio trails the video by about 3 minutes. No good. I'll have to try other settings to see if I can make it work.

I don't know

2001-11-11T17:00:00-07:00

I don't know why I didn't mention going to Jimmy's last night with KJ and Fabish. I did. I drank beer there. That's the end of that story.

I just went grocery shopping at 11:40 on a Sunday night. Have I mentioned how I love being self-employed? I love it.

I have no

2001-11-11T17:00:00-07:00

I have no reason to post, other than I want to keep up this amazing once a day habit I've got going here.

It's a shame I don't have more to update on. I barely leave the apartment anymore. It's good for bills, bad for my social life.

Today I went and looked at houses. I think buying a house will be better for me than buying a townhouse. With the exception of my utilities, it will be even cheaper than apartment living. You know what I figured out the other day? In the last 4 years, I've moved 5 times. When I was 18, I moved to Chicago. When I was 19, I moved back in with my parents for about a month before moving back to my 2nd place in Chitown. At 20 I moved back into my parent's again for about 5 months while working at Iona and at 21 I moved into my current apartment. At 22, I'll either move into my own place that I bought with my own money, or to some far away land... that has yet to be decided. Although I must say, the prospect of buying my own house is a good one... it will give me some equity... some stability with a career that is anything but stable.

I'm a bit worried about a house loan though. When you're self employed you need 2 years of back tax records for a loan. 2 years ago I was still in college.

I'm converting 13 Ghosts right now to watch later tomorrow or something. Tomorrow I also have a meeting at Iona. It was supposed to be at a time convenient enough for me to go eat lunch with the cool kids and be back in time for the meeting, but as it turns out isn't until 3 in the afternoon, so I guess I'll be missing the lunch. Ah well... maybe Fabish will pity my apartment dwelling ways and go out to lunch with me again.

So my dad

2001-11-12T17:00:00-07:00

So, my dad and I took a look at that house and decided against it because of it's horribly poor and outdated electrical system. Since I will be using my home as a business as well, it's important to have reliable electricity. I can't risk having my computer blow up because of a short, ya know?

Anyhoo, that's about all I have to say today. I just went out and bought Swordfish and Dario Argenta's Suspiria, which I will watch and enjoy tonight.

Oh, yeah, that big CD-ROM project I was bidding so hard far... I was just called by the woman in charge who told me I am in the top 3 contenders for the project. She was going to call me yesterday and give the job to me, but then funding fell through on some other portion of the project, so she's once again out of money. Now it's just a waiting game.... I wasn't promised the job yet, but I think that fact that she almost gave it to me is encouraging. The project was planned to being on January 1st, which is still possible, but now unlikely. Ah well. I'm happy to be in the top 3 choices. I think that says a lot.

My dad took me out to lunch today. It was good. I like leaving the apartment.

I just looked

2001-11-13T17:00:00-07:00

I just looked at the date. I lose track of the days sometimes... Jerry from Iona called me today to schedule a meeting for Thursday, and I swear, I thought that TODAY was Thursday. Weekends have lost their meaning for me since I never really go out anymore, and when I do, it's usually on a Thursday. I work pretty consistently on time I shouldn't be working just to keep my mind off things, and prepare for the future, as I always tend to do for some reason. I suppose I should live in the present instead, and I do for short periods at a time. I just don't keep it up for some reason or another... I don't know why not.

I'm overly cautious sometimes, I guess.

But anyway, back to the real reason I noticed the date... it's the 14th, which means that my good buddy Mr. Bryan J. Wolford will be back in town for Turkey Day or something so I'll get to hang out with someone new and see a new face and have a new conversation for the first time in a long time. Maybe we can even schedule a meeting with Mr. Bryan J. Polk, even though I just saw him at the lame party.

I am getting very, very tempted to shave my head again. This hair stuff is for chumps.

Jaimee is such

2001-11-13T17:00:00-07:00

Jaimee is such a fucking bitch.

Why do I have feelings for her? Or, why do I grasp on to them so fucking hard? They're barely existant anymore... not like Missy and Barb. Although I'm sure that I've just simply killed the feelings off rather than they never existed at all. I was hoping that Jaimee would remind me of how it feels to love someone, since I am sure I love her on many levels. I was hoping she'd snap me out of whatever rut I was in. I was hoping to feel, and to love, again.

Plus, it just felt good to be so loved, so praised... worshipped, almost. But then the girl who gave me more compliments in the world has kept telling me how I'm not good enough for her. It hurts, bad. It makes me wonder if I'll ever be good enough for anyone. I probably won't be. I'm not good enough for my friends anymore... how could I ever expect to be good enough for a girl? I'm so stupid sometimes.

About once a week she makes me feel horribly inadequate, and I'm sick and tired of it. She makes me feel not good enough after I've been trying so hard to improve myself. She's as fucked up as I am or more, really. She doesn't know what she wants and she doesn't know when she'll get it. She won't know when she has it.

But niether will I, apparently. I'll think I know what it is, get lead astray, and follow nothingness for too, too long. I'll follow a dream that I should have given up on a long time ago.

I used to believe that I would know the right girl when I met her. This is #3 that I was wrong about, giving me a total of 100% wrong guesses. Which either means I'm not good enough for anyone or am looking in completely the wrong places.

I'd cut off contact with Jaimee and feel no real loss, and that thought makes me sick. How can I be so heartless and cold? I would feel terrible for breaking her heart, but is that really worth all the heartache and pain for both of us? There's a certain jealousy that would go with her dating other guys... is that love? No. What is it? I don't know. Just jealousy? I think it's something more. Jealousy I could use logic to get rid of... I've done it before and I can do it again.

All I know is that her snide comments that obviously apply to me are fucking killing me inside and making me like her less and less and less every day. I don't feel nearly as close to her as I used to, and I blame that on her. She's been pushing me away, even though she's been trying to tell me the exact opposite.

Things suck right now. I've got big decisions to make here, so wish me (myself and I) luck. Time will tell how things work out. For now... I'm not sure. I sent Jaimee a pretty snide email earlier tonight so we'll see how she reacts to it. I'll probably react to her with my avoidance technique.

God, there's so much I want to say about this... I wish I could express myself well enough to explain them all, but hopefully I'll remember the frustration and inadequacy she caused me, and not get into the boat to experience those things again.

Some things suck

2001-11-14T17:00:00-07:00

Some things suck right now. The good things: November is going to be a stellar month for me financially. Wolford will be in town in a couple of days to hang out... I haven't seen the kid in too long. Steph will be home in a little more than a week, and I haven't seen that kid in even longer.

Too many meetings at Iona in the past few days, but I get money for them, so... yeah, it's okay. It's strange going back there.

Yesterday Dain, one of Iona's salesmen, took me out to lunch to discuss a project that he's got planned. It was good to have a conversation with someone out of the standard 3 people I talk to every single day.

Now I'm going to deposit a check and buy an office chair with a bit more support. I've been using this $30 chair for as long as I can remember, and it's making my back and neck hurt pretty badly.

On Wednesday night

2001-11-15T17:00:00-07:00

On Wednesday night I went out with Mullens to grab a bite to eat and a drink at Gorman's. While we were there, we ran into Dave McAtee, who I run into a lot at Gorman's these days. We chatted and got all caught up again.

Last night I went out with Mullens, Angie, and Callahan. We went to Lowry's, which sucked. Then we went to Gorman's and met up with Fuller and some kid named George. Everytime I hang out with Angie, I'm reminded of how much I hate her.

I have a lot of work to do these days, and have decided to undertake yet another project. I was going to spend tonight playing catch up with some of my work for Iona so I could go out with Wolford and Steph tomorrow night. Well, Wolford ended up showing up early, so I had to ditch Polk and him to get some of this stuff done. Ah, the life of a freelancer... I know, I shouldn't complain.

So, tonight will be lame, but tomorrow will be fun. And at the end of the month I will be quite a bit richer, so that's a good thing too. It's all going in the bank, though. No more toys for Tim for a while.

Oh, one more weird thing... on Friday I ran into Dave at Lowry's. He was with his sister Angel, who didn't remember me at all. For a bit of background info, I used to be moderately obsessed with her, because she's very, very cute. I was a sophomore in high school when I got a pretty big role in the school play with Angel, and I spent a lot of my time in quiet admiration. I was hanging out at Dave's house a lot back then, and Angel would frequently walk around topless and/or completely nude. It really bothered Dave, but I didn't mind it. When I was a senior in high school, she and her best friend Molly (who was Dave's girlfriend, by the way. I used to date Molly's little sister April) were stripping at Big Al's for some extra money. At that point I stopped liking Angel as much as I used to, although it really shouldn't have come as any suprise.

And that's the end of my story.

I've had a

2001-11-17T17:00:00-07:00

I've had a good weekend so far.

I knew that Wolford and Steph were going to be in town on Saturday night, and I really wanted to see both of them. So, I devoted my Friday night to working to clear up my Saturday night. I worked until 1 or so before I went out to wait for Wolford and Polk who were supposed to come and hang out with me. But, they ditched me, so I just went to bed. Losers. Not that I'm bitter or anything....

Saturday I slept in way, way too late for my own good and spent the majority of the day dicking around and playing video games. I met Polk and Wolford at One World and then dicked around some more. Steph called me around 6, and Wolford came over about 7, and we just hung out until Steph came over and we headed out to the movie.

We saw Shallow Hal, which was way, way more girly than I expected it to be. Wolford... remember our conversation where I thought this was the 2nd Farrelly brothers movie in a row that was somewhat girly, but you said Me, Myself, and Irene was the last one? Well, I thought of their REAL last one.... Say It Isn't So, which actually is girly too. So there you go.

So anyhoo, after the movie, we met Molly at Perkins and grabbed a bite to eat. Polk was also there, but he was too busy macking on some chick to notice us. After that we went back to my place to chill and hang out, but unfortunately Alan was throwing a kegger for himself and like 6 annoying little fuckers. They were yelling and screaming and being obnoxious. Finally I just had to turn down the TV and scold them... Fabish was sick and sleeping, so I thought Alan should have been a tad more considerate than to drag those loud retards over there and get them drunk. But I digress. Molly, Steph, Wolford and I sat on my porch to get away from them (or at least I was trying to get away from them) before Steph and Molly called it a night.

Today I was woken up by a phone that wouldn't stop ringing. It was Alan, who was driving his brother home and ran out of gas on the interstate. So I had to pick him up, go buy a gas can, fill it, and take him back, which is way more activity than I like before my morning shower.

Today will be spent working on this brand new money-making scheme before taking a break to watch Simpsons and Futura and Malcome in the Middle.

Today marked the

2001-11-18T17:00:00-07:00

Today marked the 1st argument I have ever gotten in with Fabish ever, in the history of the entire universe. Well, except one time when we were little and I got pissed at him and knocked him off his bike. But I don't remember what that was about.

So anyway, dishes were stacking up, and Fabish told me to do them. I told him I'd do them after I ate my lunch, since it didn't make any sense to me to do the dishes, then dirty some up immediately to make my lunch. Anyhoo, about half an hour later I'm there washing the dishes and Fabish tells me that after I wash them, I need to dry them and put them away.

See, I have this habit of doing about half of every job. I'll take out the trash, but I won't put the bag back in the can. I'll do the dishes, but I won't put them away. To me, that's fair... one of the other roommates finishes the jobs. There's been times that I put the clean dishes away after someone else does them, ya know?

So anyway, I tell him no... I'll wash the whole stack of dishes but I didn't plan on putting them away. He starts spouting off things about how I don't contribute to the apartment and how it's disrespectful to only do half the job. That kind of pissed me off.

"I don't contribute to the apartment? Whose chair are you sitting on right now? Whose table are you sitting at? Whose dishes are you eating off of? Whose fork are you eating with?"

He answered back saying "So just because you buy things means you don't have to put away dishes?"

"No, but it means I contribute to the apartment in more ways than just doing dishes."

"Well, it's just disrespectful to do the job halfway, leaving dishes all over the kitchen not in their proper place."

"Fabish, don't talk to me about respect. Tell ya what, I'll put the dishes away every single time I do them if you respect me and my property the way I say. That means no more metal utensils on my Teflon pots and pans (a conversation we've had many times), no more leaving DVDs on top of my TV out of their case, no more putting your shoes on my couch, or throwing my remote control, and putting my phone back on the receiver every night instead of sleeping with it (all conversations we've had before)."

Fabish said he was sorry and went back to playing video games, and I washed and dried the dishes and put them away. And that's my whole story.

Later Fabish called me into his room, all excited because he found coupons online for the China Buffet for 20% off. We love the China Buffet, but never go there because of the expense. But we're going there tonight.

I suppose all roommates have these little fights... Fabish has been in the apartment for more than 6 months and this is our first... not a bad record if you ask me.

So the night

2001-11-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, the night I went out with Andrew and Shep and we saw Zoolander, Andrew ended up borrowing the ED trilogy from me. He told me a good time to get them back would be if I met him at Iona today at noon. I showed up and Andrew wasn't there, but they were having their Thanksgiving lunch for the employees. I stuck around and ate some free food, which is always the best kind of food.

Andrew showed up later, and I talked stupid techno-babble to him, Jim, Shep, and Rob (who will soon make the job into freelancing like me and Andrew have). It was good.

I came home and did a ton of work, and then went to dinner with Steph and Fabish. I had planned on doing more work tonight, but I didn't get around to it. It's just so hard to motivate myself.

Tomorrow I'm heading down to Missouri with my parents for Turkey Day with my rich aunt and uncle at their cabin down there. I'm not looking forward to the car trip, although I'm thinking 8 hours in the car may be good justification for a few new toys... a Game Boy Advance perhaps? Perhaps... I plan on getting up early tomorrow to take care of some things before we leave at 2. We'll see how that works out for me.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

2001-11-22T17:00:00-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, even if you get this a little late.

I had a good one... I ended up buying a Game Boy Advance, although I'm not sure how smart a purchase that was. We drove 4 hours to Missouri to my aunt and uncle's new cabin there... it sits on 3,400 acres. Can you believe that? 3,400. There's 5 old, run down houses on their property. They took us on a tour of some of the highlights of this place, and on our way to one we found an old car... a '50 Oldsmobile. On the side of it, in stainless steel, it had a badge that said "Futuramic". I thought it was the coolest thing ever, so I ripped it off and took it home.

I had to sleep in their guest bed, which was puny... the kind of bed I slept in at age 12. I kept waking up in the night because I would toss and turn and ram my elbows into the wall.

Dinner was good... it was me, my parents, my aunt, uncle, 3 cousins, and John's girlfriend. They have so much money and so many cool things that it's unbelievable.

On the ride home tonight, I got a call from Molly, telling me it was Steph's last night in town. Originally she was going to stay until Sunday night. So, they were going to go to Perkins and they invited me. 45 minutes I was there, and we bitched and moaned about some things and joked around about others. Fun stuff.

So now here I am... good news, I finally got my license plates. I ordered them in January. They were supposed to be personalized, but instead are just generic. I'm a little pissed, but I guess I'm over it. At least I have them now.

I also got some dating service thing in the mail. Weird.

A few crazy days.

2001-11-23T17:00:00-07:00

Man oh man.

So, it started yesterday when I was all geared up for a long day of working to finish up this stupid project that I'm already sick of doing. I got up around 10:30, showered, the whole routine, then sat down and worked for a good 10 minutes. Then Fabish called me to the living room for an episode of Junkyard Wars, which is absolutely the coolest show in the world. The teams are put in a junkyard and assigned a task, like building a car or a boat or a hovecraft or something. Anyway, it turned out to be a Junkyard Wars marathon, so I pretty much didn't move from the couch all day, and instead I watched 13 hours straight of Junkyard Wars. It was a stupid things to do, but you gotta be stupid every once in a while.

Mullens stopped by and we drank a few beers, and he was all upset about his troubles in paradise. At around 12, we decided to hit some trashy bars outside of Peoria that we had never been to, so after picking Angie up at Becky's and dropping her off at her place, we headed out on the town.

It's kind of fun hitting those types of bars. Everyone was trashed out of their mind and acting retarded. It's not the kind of scene I'd like to hit every night, but once in a while, it's a lot of fun.

Mullens and I had some sort of deep conversations about how it takes me a long time to forgive and forget because I analyze things too much. A lot of people in this world think my analytical side is a negative... I disagree completely. I think it's one of my better traits.

So, I didn't get in last night until around 6 am, which I haven't done in a long, long time. I woke up to a ringing phone today at noon... it was my dad, reminding me of the Thanksgiving lunch at my parent's house that I was missing as we spoke. I got there as soon as I could, but I had already missed the lunch. Ann and Harry were there... I have no idea how I'm related to them. My neighbor, Emma Byers was there, Sarah, Robert, Grandpa, Cathy, and Dave. Sarah is looking very, very pregnant. With just 2 weeks until her due date, I suppose that should be expected.

so, I got home from that at around 6:30, and planned on working on this project again. But I'm just too damn tired. Alan is having some of his loser friends over tonight, so I may just drink a couple beers and be asleep in bed by 11. That sounds good.

Alan had one

2001-11-25T17:00:00-07:00

Alan had one of his shitty parties on Saturday night, so I locked myself in my bedroom to get away from all of them. Abby and I just tinkered around on my computer and played Game Boy Advance all night. Those batteries last forever.

Sunday Simpsons wasn't on because of Episode I. God, I fucking hate that movie and I hate George Lucas like you wouldn't believe.

Mullens and I went to Hooters on Sunday and were waited on by a girl I know through Fabish. That was a bit awkward to say the least.

And now it's Monday and I will spend today working hard on this stupid project to get it out of the way. I have until Friday to finish it up. It's going to be a tight finish.

So yeah things

2001-11-28T17:00:00-07:00

So, yeah, things suck.

Any and all compliments are welcome below.

Last night I

2001-12-01T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I downloaded K-Pax, Iron Monkey, and Tomb Raider. Tonight I will watch them, but right now I have work to do.

The weekend was really uneventful. On Friday my sister called and brought over her shiny new car for me to see. Then we went out to my parent's house for some dinner. After dinner, me, Sarah, and Robert went out to see Behind Enemy Lines, which was excellent.

Last night I just sort of sat around, downloaded some movies, played on my computer, and did a little bit of work. Iona gave me a ton of stuff to do last week, which sucks because I really just want some time off right now. I have this web-project I'm doing for myself which is going to be fairly time consuming. Ah well, such is life... I'll get everything taken care of.

Next week I'm also going to have to spend some time at my sister's house painting her nursery in preparation for that kid of hers that's on the way. I'm really looking forward to being an uncle. I think I'm going to be a good one.

It's official.

2001-12-02T17:00:00-07:00

1,000,000 people have seen my artwork and graphics. How freaking cool is that? If you'd like to be number 1,000,001, head on over to funny prizes.com... I did all of the graphics and illustrations there. They're not the best or most complicated drawings in the world, but 1 million people have now seen them.

I've been extremely busy lately with all this freelancing nonsense, and on the side I'm doing this new web-based project. The project requires me to go open up a new business account at my bank and do all sorts of tax stuff, which will be a pain, but I'll certainly learn a lot in the process.

Plus Dave (the guy who did the funnyprizes site) just came up with yet another cool new business plan, so I'll be insured more jobs from him for a long time to come. If my business starts up and does well, I'll be sitting pretty for a long time... my own business, Iona, and Dave will keep me well fed with many toys for a long time to come. And anyone who knows me knows I like eating and playing with toys.

I bought everyone their Christmas presents for this year without leaving my house. I accidently bought 2 DVD players, one of which will go to my sister and Robert, and the other will be sent back for a refund. I bought my unborn niece or nephew this weird little toy... I hope it's a niece, because if it's a nephew this toy may turn him gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

When is it gonna stop?

2001-12-04T17:00:00-07:00

Today Dain came by and took me to lunch and to discuss the project I'm doing for him and Iona. I'm going to charge him more than I thought originally, because of all these change orders. It's making the project much, much longer than it should be.

Tomorrow I should have a few more jobs tied up and in the bag, but my work day will be interrupted by my meeting with Jackie, who is going to set me up with a business and merchant account for my "business". Strange that in a matter of months I will have my own business, but kind of exciting, too. I also meet with my insurance guy for some reason or other... don't ask why yet, but I'm sure I'll give you the full report when I figure it out myself.

Next week I have to paint my sister's nursery and FINALLY start working on this business of mine. That's the plan, at least.

In my off time, I go to the couch and fall asleep. It's an exciting life.

So today was

2001-12-05T17:00:00-07:00

So, today was my day of many meetings.

First off, opening a business and merchant account with the help of my new friend Jackie. In the end, I got nothing accomplished. It may be more trouble than it's worth to get that set up. There's plenty of transaction services on the net who will process credit cards for me, for a small fee, of course.

Second, my meeting with my insurance man. It was about health insurance, and how I haven't had any since I've been self-employed. While there, I ran checks on how much it would cost to insure me in my next car... a BMW M3. Right now I pay $175/month for my Jeep, and an M3 would got $250. That's quite a big jump. I may have to wait a little longer until I'm a little more financially secure to buy that thing.

Third, my many phone calls to Iona. God, they're annoying me at this point. Let me finish something before giving me more to do, please.

That's about it. Tomorrow I trade some movies with Andrew, go to Iona and drop off some files, hopefully take some din-din to Polk at work, and try to clear Friday. Why, you ask? Because I'm headed up to Chi-town for a night to visit my dear friend Brian Kelly. Hopefully. If I can clear Friday.

This year New Year's will be held at Brian Kelly's house. It will be the first year in 4 years that I don't celebrate with Angie and Mullens. It's going to be a lonely holiday season... thinking about good times I've had with Steph, Mullens, and Angie... and the Christmas parties at Brice's and Bryan's. Ah, good times, good times. I think we're going to have a Christmas party here at the apartment somewhere around the 15th. That will be excellent, I think.

Today was mostly

2001-12-06T17:00:00-07:00

Today was mostly a good day.

I woke up on the late side, even for me. I took care of a little bit of work, then headed off to Morton to drop off some files and pick up some other files. I got home around 3 and decided to not do anything until 5ish, since Andrew was coming over to drop off a monitor I bought from him. He stopped by right on time, we swapped some movies, I got my monitor, and he was off. Then I went straight to work.

I'll spare you the gory details about how I was ass-raped when it came to this job... and how it was a big job, a rush job, and I'm not getting paid nearly enough. Yeah, that's enough details. Anyway, I didn't want to work on the job, but I wanted to get it out of my face. It ended up taking way longer than I thought, and by 10:30 it was time for a break. I called up Polk at work and bought some Taco Bell for us to eat. We ate and dicked around for a little while, then it was back to my place and back at work by by midnight. Here it is now, almost 2 AM, and I just finished. I did a totally half-assed and terrible job on it, and let them know that if there were any revisions, they'd need to be change orders. Usually I do revisions for free, but they've raped me enough on this deal.

Anyway, I'm not really tired, which is a disturbing trend for me lately. I've been trying to wake up earlier so I'll be tired by 1, but it never works. I guess today I woke up pretty late, so that will be my excuse this time.

Tomorrow is yet another fun-filled day of much work for yours truly. My plans to clear Friday to get to Chi-town didn't work out so well, so I'm going on Saturday instead. If I get enough done tomorrow, I may go out to Fuller's birthday dinner. The rest of the group plans on going to Big Al's after dinner, but I will have to bow out of those plans.

Friday was Fuller's

2001-12-09T17:00:00-07:00

Friday was Fuller's birthday celebration, so me, Fuller, Callahan, Mullens, Angie, and Renee all went out to eat at Damon's, then we hit a couple of bars before coming back to our place and playing X Box for the rest of the night. Pretty exciting stuff.

On Saturday I went up to Chi-town to visit Brian Kelly, and planned on spending the night. We went out to eat, drank a few beers, and went back to his place and watched a few movies. I hung out with him and his roommates for the whole night... his roommates are nice guys, but huge, huge nerds. It's not like I'm the coolest guy in the world or anything, but these guys... well, they're just socially weird is all. We went to Mass, which is a horrible experience for non-Catholics. They had to wake up at 8:30 the next morning, so by 1 they were ready to call it a night. Since I wasn't tired and wanted to sleep in my own bed, I made the decision to just go back to Peoria that night. It's much better to drive late at night when no one else is on the road. I made the trek from downtown Chicago to Peoria in just over 2 hours. It was great.

Today my parents treated me to lunch at a Mexican restaurant, then I went to their place and did laundry, came back here, watched Simpsons, and here I am. Mullens keeps stopping by unexpectedly. I fucking hate that.

I'm getting sick...

2001-12-10T17:00:00-07:00

I'm getting sick... I can feel it coming. That sucks. I used to never get sick, and now it seems I get sick all the time.

PS- Bottle Rocket is a fantastic movie. I recommend it to everyone and their mother.

Oh another weird

2001-12-11T17:00:00-07:00

Oh, another weird thing.

I went to high school with this girl named Ann Smolen, who I never really talked to and who I haven't seen or heard from (or even heard of) since I graduated. She was one of those girls who everyone secretly had a crush on, but who never had a boyfriend for some reason.

Anyway, last night I had a dream that she and I were dating, and I was living in an upscale apartment in Chicago with a butler and a pet elephant, that actually more resembled a dinosaur than an elephant. Ann and I would make home-made champaign and walk our pet elephant... it was all very bizarre. I wonder where that came from.

Yeah I got

2001-12-11T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, I got sick. I spent the majority of the day fighting off a sore throat, headache, fever, and any other symptom you could think of. Then at around 10, I started puking everything that I had eaten that day. Today, I feel pretty much A-OK... I still have a bit of a sore throat, but otherwise I'm fine. It must have just been a 24 hour thing.

In other news... well, I guess there is no other news.

Ever been so

2001-12-12T17:00:00-07:00

Ever been so tired that you felt sick?

I woke up at 9 this morning, which is horribly early for me these days. I didn't get to bed until about 3:30 last night. I can tell I'm going to be really alert and really helpful at the meeting I'm going to.

I just got

2001-12-14T17:00:00-07:00

I just got back from Michigan. My dad bought some new fancy engine from some guy up there, and he wanted some company on the 6 hour drive to pick it up. We got a hotel room, which I will never do again. My dad snores. Loudly. I couldn't sleep. At one point I turned on the air conditioner in the room and slept on the floor with my ear against it, hoping the white noise would drown out the snoring. Long story short, it didn't work. I ended up just staying awake until 3:30 or 4 until I passed out from frustration.

While I'm on the subject of hotel rooms, does anyone remember when it seemed like every hotel room had those sauna things in the bathrooms where you turned the dial and the room turned red and got extremely hot? Those were awesome. What ever happened to those?

Anyway, right before leaving for Michigan I got a call from Barb asking me to dinner tonight. Weird, sure, but what could I say? Her phone call surprised me and I was in a hurry to get out the door. I said yes, so in about 2 hours I'll be on my way to pick her up. It's a strange turn of events. I wonder what will happen.

I am really

2001-12-15T17:00:00-07:00

I am really tired right now. Not only did I wake up at about 6:30 this morning, but I also woek up at 6:30 with about 3 hours of sleep under my belt.

Dinner with Barb wasn't terrible, although it wasn't great either. I've been avoiding her purposely for a few months... dodging her phone calls and making excuses as to why I can't hang out with her. Well, tonight she told me about how depressed and, for lack of a better word, messed up she's been since her dad died. I felt so bad for deserting and ignoring her. We'll never be the best of friends, but I could have been more understanding towards her situation than I have been.

Right after I got home from dinner with Barb, Molly called me and came over to hang out for a bit. We went to Perkins, but called it a night early since we were both a bit sleep deprived and very tired.

So, you say, it's about 1:30 now, why aren't you in bed? Well, the apartment above mine is having a party with horrible, thumpy music. This is the first one of these awful parties that they've thrown, and they threw it on the one night I really wanted some sleep. Strange how that works sometimes. I guess I'll just have to sleep in until 1 or 2 tomorrow afternoon to make up the difference.

In an unrelated note, Steph gets home from Colorado for good on Sunday night. Yee haw.

Loyal readers of

2001-12-17T17:00:00-07:00

Loyal readers of my LJ will know that I've been trying for months now to get this big CD-ROM job for the LA County School district about mosquitos. After going through several annoying requirements and several shipping charges and everything else, I was told that the project would be delayed. I was sort of halfway told that I would have been awarded the job if it hadn't been delayed, but because of the delay they were going to look at other resumes and references and anything else, and anything could happen that would prevent me from getting the job.

Anyway, we've worked our way through the delays and I was awarded the job. Go me. Originally it was going to be finished by January, but now they're aiming for July, which give me plenty of time to finish it up.

Last night I went out to Crusen's with Fabish and KJ, and we met up with JL and some other guys there. By some weird stroke of un-luck, Angie and Mullens were there. I also ran into Mr. Claywell, who told me to start calling him Randy. He was the computer teacher in high school, and I knew him because I helped set up the network at my high school, and I also helped build some computers for the lab. He's a really nice guy who really like me and Brandon Wickwire, so we helped him out with a bunch of projects he did for the school. I hadn't seen him since I graduated, and he seemed amazed at what I've been doing for the last 3.5 years. It was weird to drink with him and talk to him in a bar setting after only knowing him in a Catholic high school setting until that point.

After Crusen's we went to Jimmy's, which sucked. We were there about 5 minutes before going home. A few minutes later, Steph and Molly stopped by and we caught up a bit and made some dinner plans for this evening.

And now I'm working, trying to get some of this stuff wrapped up. I hate work. I can't wait until this website I'm planning gets off the ground and I'll have some consistent income without having to work too hard for it. I've already sent a guy a pretty hefty check, so the site is a-go. I'm hoping to launch it by February... wish me luck on that one.

It's been a

2001-12-19T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a long and hectic few days for me.

This year, Christmas with various families is going to be bigger than it's been since I was about 8. On Saturday we're having a Christmas with my mom's side of the family down in Woodhull... So, I need to get presents for my aunt, uncle, grandpa, cousin, and my cousin's little kid who I can't remember their name. Christmas morning will be spent with my immediate family plus Robert, and the next day my family from Georgia will be getting here, which means I need to buy presents for my other aunt and uncle and little cousin. For the last 10 years or so, we haven't celebrated like this... it's always just been me and my family.

The last few days have been spent Christmas shopping (almost done now), and procrastinating on this project that's due tomorrow. As soon as this entry is finished I'm going to start on that. I mean it this time.

Last night I had dinner with my parents, and then they were going to go by Kinko's and order some calendars. Unfortunately Kinko's told us the calendars wouldn't be done until Saturday which was simply unnacceptable, so with my parents watching, I went behind the counter and resumed my keyop position that I haven't worked for like 2.5 years. It was kind of hard to get used to the machine again, but I got the calendars finished up and looking great in about 25 minutes or so. Not too shabby, although in my prime I could have done it in about 10, I bet.

I also dragged Alan to my sister's house since she needed some help carrying things around the house. They weren't heavy or anything, but for a girl whose 8 months pregnant, I imagine it would be kind of awkward and hard to carry. She's due in just about a month now. I think I'm more excited then she is. I still have to paint her nursery though.

I feel bad since I've been so busy and have only spent 1 meal with Steph since she's been home. I'll have to give her a call tomorrow. Oh, another weird thing... Today I got a phone call from Missy who I haven't talked to in about 5 months. We're eating lunch together tomorrow.

I refuse to use my LJ for personal attacks.

2001-12-21T17:00:00-07:00

So, there's 3 days left until Christmas, and I really couldn't care less. When I was a kid, I used to get so excited and I'd look forward to Christmas for months. Nowadays it's just another day. That's a shame. I get more excited for Halloween than Christmas. I guess I'm just getting older. Too bad.

Lunch with Missy was uneventful. We just caught up on the last 5 or 6 months we haven't seen each other, and after lunch we went our seperate ways. I probably won't see her for another 5 or 6 months.

Yesterday was my dad's birthday, so we went out to eat. After that, Robert and I went shopping for a digital camera that he could use for his kid. Then Robert and I had to go out to my parent's house to help my dad move an engine from garage to garage. After that, Robert, Sarah and I all went to see Lord of the Rings, which was very, very good. I didn't even notice that it was like 3 hours long.

Today is Christmas on my mom's side of the family. I'm not looking forward to it. I still have shopping to do before I head off.

Man Christmas at

2001-12-22T17:00:00-07:00

Man, Christmas at my grandpa's was something else... my mom's side of the family is pretty poor, so I didn't expect to get any gifts at all, really. In the end, I got a sweatshirt (plain blue with some holes in it), a lottery ticket, a card with another $20 check I'll never cash, and a picture frame that I just remembered I left at my grandpa's. Oh well.

The lottery ticket actually ended up winning me some cash... the initial ticket got me a free ticket, and the free ticket got me $15. Not too shabby. I was tempted to get another 15 cards, but opted for the cash instead. That means I've never lost one of those scratch off lotto ticket things.

And now I'm home. Fabish and Alan are both out of town now, so I called up Steph and she's coming over to watch a movie.

I also bought myself an I-Cybie. That thing kicks ass.

The Eve of Christmas Eve

2001-12-23T17:00:00-07:00

So, I bought my sister and Robert a DVD player for Christmas, only to find out later that Robert had gotten a DVD player for Sarah. So, I don't know what they're going to do with the one I'm giving them, but hopefully they'll figure something out. On a related note, I bought my dad these new shop lights that he wanted, only to find out later that he had bought the same exact lights a couple days ago. I don't really care. I'm just going to give them the presents I had originally planned on with a reciept and they can do whatever they want with them.

Tomorrow night I'm going to a Christmas Eve church service, as is the tradition with us, then I have nothing planned. On Christmas we're opening presents at my parent's house, then I have nothing planned. For the last few years, Christmas night was spent in drunken glory with Steph, Angie, and Mullens. Maybe this year it will just be me and Steph, or me Steph and Fabish, or whatever. Or maybe it will be nothing. Whatever.

That's about it on my end these days. My dad told me one of my Christmas presents: Jurassic Park 3 on DVD. That's the only thing I know for sure I'm getting.

I just noticed

2001-12-23T17:00:00-07:00

I just noticed that way too many of my posts haven't had anyone at all comment on them. To solve this problem, I have decided to not post anything else until this here entry has an acceptable amount of comments.

It's about 16

2001-12-23T17:00:00-07:00

It's about 16,000 degrees in my apartment right now. The heat is making me kind of tired, but not sleepy. If you were me, you'd know the difference between tired and sleepy.

So, that leaves me awake and bored at 12:30 on a Sunday night. Fabish and Alan are both out of town, so it really leaves me awake, bored, and alone at 12:30 with nothing to do. I don't really want to go to sleep, but damn it, I can't think of anything better to do.

Finally.

2001-12-30T17:00:00-07:00

It took almost a week, but I finally got 3 people to comment on my last post. Which means it's time for a brand new one. So, what have I been up for the past few days? Let's see if I can remember.

Christmas I went out to my parent's and opened presents. I got some cool stuff, including a George Foreman grill, an industrial strength drill, some shoes, a sweater, a book of poems from Ethan Coen, a wireless keyboard and mouse, etc. After I left my parents I just sort of sat around for the rest of the day and did nothing in particular.

The next day I finally started painting my sister's nursery. I made good progress but I'm not finished yet. I actually spent a few days going over there every day, eating dinner with them, and watching a movie or something.

Steph came over one night and we drank some and watched Comedy Central. On Wednesday my family from Georgia got into town, so I went out to dinner with all of them. I won't mention either of my cousin's weird obsessive compulsive behavior, since this is neither the time nor place. On Friday they all came over to watch a movie. After the movie, I went out with Brian Kelly, his sister Julia, and Jason Smalley. We went to this bar downtown I had never been to called F. Scott's. I drank more than I probably should have and woke up more hungover than I expected to.

Last night me and Brian went out to dinner, then picked up Alan and went to Jukebox Comedy Club to watch some stand up, which was hilarious, and get sort of tipsy. After the show we came back and watched some SNL before calling it a night sort of early.

Today was my family's last day in town, so we went out to breakfast before they headed back to Atlanta. After that, we packed up and headed out to Woodhull to visit my poor family again, with my cousin Val who I don't get to see often. We stayed longer than I would have liked, but it was okay I guess.

Then I made some phone calls in preparation for tomorrow's New Year's plans, and I really needed to talk to Brian Kelly. I called his house and learned that he had gone to John Zarr's place. Since I had no idea what the phone number was there, I just headed over to his house. I hung out with John, Scott, and Brian. We watched Assassins and joked around a bit. Good fun, good fun. I think I've covered just about everything that happened in my absence from LJ. I hope you've enjoyed it.

Some disturbing dreams.

2001-12-30T17:00:00-07:00

I had some weird dreams last night. I have a sort of recurring nightmare where me and a friend will accidently kill someone, then spend the rest of the dream trying to hide it and cover it up. The cops are catching onto us just as I wake up, and I am always so glad it didn't really happen.

Last night was slightly different, because I didn't accidently kill someone, I planned on killing them. Me and a guy I knew in gradeschool planned this whole elaborate murder for no real reason. We killed the person we were trying to kill, then left as planned. My partner in crime kept bragging to everyone about the murder despite me telling him we needed to keep in on the down-low. Well, he didn't, and eventually the cops took us in. That's when I woke up, and have never been so glad to wake up.

My next dream involved me and Fabish and some other guys I know going back to high school for some reason. Fabish and I were in a Biology class together with KJ, and our teacher was nuts. She handed out a worksheet for us to do, and everyone was getting it done faster than me. By the time Fabish was done, I was about 10% finished and he looked at my work and told me I was doing it all wrong. I went to get a new worksheet and the teacher yelled at me and called me stupid. When I went back to my seat, Fabish and KJ made fun of me even more. I think I was even more glad to wake up from this dream than the murder one.

Last night was

2001-12-31T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was New Year's Eve, which was fun. I went to a party at Brian's house with Steph and some Notre Damers. It was a good time and allowed for catching up with people I don't get to see often.

Since everyone else is putting their resolutions in list form, I will copy them and do the exact same thing. My resolutions:

Take even less stock in people's opinions of me. Realize that who I am is not affected by how people feel about me, or what they say about me.
Go back to the time when I liked myself better as a person.
Buy a house.
Finish a movie script.
Paint more, spend less time on the computer.
Tear down some walls between me and the people I care for.
Call people for no reason more often.
Make more friends to make up for the lost ones this year has presented me with.

That's about it. Much sadder resolutions than last year's, I guess.

I'd like to end this post with a story. I was at Chili's, pulling out of my parking place. I had reversed out and was shifting into 1st gear when a truck backed into me pulling out of his place. I got out to check the damage only to see none. The guy came out, apologizing and telling me that there was no damage and he had only hit my spare tire. I checked the tire and saw that it had been hit, but there was no other damage so I wasn't going to worry about it. Fast forward a few hours when I need to open my trunk to put something inside, and the door doesn't open. At first I assumed it was frozen shut, but upon closer inspection I saw that the spare tire being hit caused a lot of damage to my back door, which means it won't open anymore. I was a bit pissed off. You can't see the damage, but I'd like to be able to open my trunk. There's no real way to track him down though, so I guess I'm just going to have to live with it. God damn it.

So I just

2002-01-02T17:00:00-07:00

So I just got back from a night on the town with Steph. Well, not really a night on the town, but whatever. We went to see Ocean's Eleven (very good, but what's with these remakes that are nothing like the original these days?), then out to grab something to eat. We hit Perkins as per usual.

Me and Steph are very similar in the relationship field, and our relationship discussions tend to dominate our conversations. Both of us have always been the person that people go to with their troubles in paradise, and both of us feel the need to fix things with other people a lot. We've both had our experiences which crashed and burned, and others that just sort of limped off and died. I think the results of everything above makes us very cautious of relationships, and very focused on the negative side. For example, I have a huge list of things I DON'T want in a relationship, and a relatively small list of what I do want.

Both of us are also horribly independent. I use the word "horribly", because I think that describes it well... we're independent to the point that it really isn't healthy for us. So many of our friends always need someone in their life, and feel like less of a person when that significant other isn't around. I hate that. I think that's lame. When one person goes, they hunt down a new one and settle for the first or second thing to come along. I've spent so much of my life proving that I don't need anyone that I really, truly don't need them. That's really a shame, because it's nice to need and be needed. Or I guess I imagine it would be nice.

Both Steph and I realize that we're simply not ready for a relationship. We're not ready for the strings attached to them. I can't speak for Steph, but I don't really feel comfortable in my own skin most of the time. I realize I screw things up, I realize I have plenty of faults and plenty of shortcomings that have resulted in the destruction of my relationships. I feel like I shouldn't enter another one until I sort those things out for myself. When I do sort them out, I will ultimately meet a girl who will show me how much I haven't sorted them out.

And ultimately, that girl will move on and leave me in the dust to wallow in my own retardism, thinking and rethinking when and how things went wrong, why it was my fault, and what to do last time. After that gets boring or after I feel like killing myself, whichever comes first, I'll change my train of thought and blame it on the other person for a few months. I'll sit there and do that until I come to one end all, be all for relationships. Fuck it, it ain't worth the trouble.

Of course, it absolutely is worth the trouble. I guess denying it is my way to deal with the fact that 1 of 3 things will happen to me, relationship-wise.

I'll spend the rest of my life on this vicious cycle until I've convinced myself that relationships really aren't worth the trouble and I'll die alone.
I'll spend the rest of my life on this vicious cycle until I've convinced myself that I'll never be ready/never be good enough for a relationship and I'll die alone.
I'll go gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, I guess that's that in a nutshell. I'm such a mess.

Tonight I went

2002-01-03T17:00:00-07:00

Tonight I went out to eat with Brandon. I like that kid. Afterwards we came back to my place and played some Super Smash Brothers Melee on Game Cube. I sucked at first, but by the end I was kicking his ass all the time. Molly and Steph stopped by. It's always nice to see them.

Something I've noticed about myself lately: 2 years ago, when people didn't want to tell me things, I was totally okay with it. I think that made them a lot more willing to tell me anything. These days I get a bit weird and defensive, as if I can't be trusted when people decide to keep some tidbit of info from me. I don't like that as much. I'm going to try and go back to how I was before.

Alan wants to have a party tomorrow. I'm not into that.

I finished up

2002-01-04T17:00:00-07:00

I finished up my sister's nursery walls yesterday, so it's nice to have that off my list of things to do.

Last night I went out with this kid , this kid , and this kid , Essay Bee, Forrest, Sarah, some girl who I can't remember her name, and later Jeannine and some other girl I can't remember ner name stopped in to say hi. It was good fun.

I've now read 2 different LJ entries describing vaguely the details of last night, and neither of them mentioned Mr. Bryan J. Polk's unfortunate car situation. My theory remains that his starter is bad and not necessarily his battery, but time will tell on that. In any case, his car wouldn't start and we wasted a good 3 or 4 hours standing out there in the freezing cold trying to get the thing moving. Cops passed us by and simply waved rather than actually helping (God forbid), and Amy took the credit for the car starting for reasons still beyond my realm of understanding.

And that's about it... tonight I really want to see The Royal Tenenbaums, and I'd also like to go bowling with Angie and crew. We'll see how good I am about squeezing both of those in today.

Bowling and a movie

2002-01-05T17:00:00-07:00

So, Angie's big group of bowlers turned out to be just 3... me, Angie, and Alan. I bowled pretty well with a 129 and 148. I am such the man.

After the bowling I went to Willow Knolls and met up with Polk and Amy and Steph and we saw The Royal Tenenbaums, which was so amazingly good. I love the Wes Anderson/Owen Wilson team almost as much as I love the Sam/Bruce team and the Coen Brothers. Not quite as much, but getting there.

The highlight of the film for me was the first time you saw inside Owen Wilson's character's house with the paintings in the background and piles of porn on the TV. For some reason or another, that struck me as the funniest thing I have ever seen.

Anyhoo, after the movie was out I came home and watched some TV and started watching Brazil, which I borrowed from Mr. Polk. I'm just too tired to really get into that movie right now, so I had to stop it. I'll watch it when I'm more awake and in a more Brazilian mood.

Last night was

2002-01-07T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was a good time all around. Me and Steph went to this kid's apartment to see The Saturdays play, as advertised in his journal. While there, Polk confirmed that I was right all along about his car troubles. It was not his battery, it was his starter. So there, Amy.

Anyhoo, the band was good and it was just interesting to see a concert played in that small a room. I bought their CD, but have yet to listen to it.

After the concert, I went to meet KJ and Fabish at Gorman's, where much beer was consumed. I came home and dicked around on the internet for a while, wasting time so I wouldn't go to sleep drunk. Going to sleep drunk is a sure-fire way for me to be totally and completely hungover. Instead I'm just tired.

Today I have a lot of work to do.

On a completely unrelated note, I can now take credit card payments over the phone or internet. If you want to pay me for something, I'm sure we can work something out.

It's been a

2002-01-10T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a pretty uninteresting couple of days all around so far.

Yesterday Steph ditched me when we had lunch plans, so I went with Alan instead and guilted her into accompanying me to Hooters sometime this weekend. That should be fun. I've been working a lot, none of it actually billable. Which means that I haven't made a dime in over a month. That's fun, eh?

But, I have been productive in my new business, which is always a good thing. Tonight I went out to dinner with the family at some Chinese restaurant, who had the worst food I've ever had. Or maybe it's because I've become accustomed to very Americanized Chinese food at the buffets and I don't like the real deal. Well, whatever the reason, it wasn't the best meal I've ever had.

Tonight I'm going to Sullivan's to meet Polk and whoever else ends up showing up.

I just got done watching Bachelor Party. When I was a kid, like 13 or 14, I used to rent those cheesy 80's comedies with tons and tons of nudity in them. They even showed below the belt. Nowadays no comedies have that much nudity. The closest we get are things like American Pie and Road Trip. Oh, the good 'ole days. Anyone else miss those kinds of movies?

Oh, I forgot.

2002-01-11T17:00:00-07:00

I was the only one who showed up at Polk's club on Thursday at Sullivan's. I best see more people there next week. You know who you are.

Sweet Holy Crap.

2002-01-11T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so funnyprizes.com is doing very well, getting millions of hits per month. Millions of people are seeing my drawings on that site alone. I was just talking to Dave, and not only are millions of people seeing my art on that site, but on other sites as well. Imagine my surprise when I stopped by www.twistedhumor.com only to see drawings that I made in an advertisement.

Then he told me that he's going to advertise on Yahoo. On friggin' Yahoo. Ya know, Yahoo.com, the highest traffic website on the planet. All this for a job I happened to stumble upon out of pure luck. Amazing.

Soon, many other people will see even more of my art at a website I'm designing. Production is slow but steady and the address is very much a secret until I at least break even with the site. I doubt my site will get millions of viewers, but I'll take what I can get.

So Mullens came

2002-01-13T17:00:00-07:00

So, Mullens came over on Friday to chill for a bit and watch some TV. The Simpsons was on and just starting, so I decided to watch it. Here's the conversation that followed:

Mullens: Woah, this is a really old episode.
Tim: This is only the opening credits. You can't tell how old it is.
Mullens: Yeah I can. Look at how they're drawn. It's really old.
Tim: Yeah, they've used the same exact opening credits since the first series.
Mullens: Whatever. This is an old episode.
Tim: It may very well be an old episode. The point is that you can't tell that from the opening.

As the episode started, it turned out to be a very old one. That only reinforces Mullens' stance on the subject, which pisses me off. I hate it when things like that happen.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. Steph came over to watch a movie, and today I did laundry at my parent's house and worked on my webpage. It's getting so close to being up and ready to go now.

I went to

2002-01-14T17:00:00-07:00

I went to bed earlier than usual last night, and I woke up much later than usual this morning. I have that groggy, overslept feeling going on, which is weird since I never once woke up and went back to sleep.

So, lately we've been having a mouse problem in the apartment. We've never seen one, but we've heard them and see the holes they make in the dog food bag. Yesterday I went out to get some traps and when I got back, Alan had a little baby mouse cornered in the bathroom under a trashcan. We were trying to think of the best way to take care of the problem, and we figured the best way would be to catch it and throw it outside and let it fend for itself in the cold. Neither one of us could bring ourselves to crush a little baby mouse, even after crushing our fair share of bats.

So, we lifted the garbage can and went in for the catch. The mouse ran about 3 feet, then fell over and died. No lie. It was all too strange. Alan said sometimes baby mice and rabbits will have a heart attack and die if they get too scared, so I guess we are responsible for the death of the little guy.

So, we set the traps and put them under the sink where we noticed much of their activity, and by the end of the day we'd killed another mouse. Checked again this morning, and there's 1 more. Humans - 3, Mice - 0.

Although the good results we've been getting either mean we have a shitload of mice running around in our cupboards, or we have the dumbest mice on earth.

I'm an uncle.

2002-01-15T17:00:00-07:00

At around 3, my sister gave birth to a little baby boy. 8 pounds, 1 ounce. His name is John William Ziemba, but they're going to call him Jack. I should have some pictures to put up later tonight, but for now I got nothin'. I held him for a little while, and he is the cutest little guy ever. My mom said he acted a lot like me... not a lot of crying, but a lot of looking around and grabbing people's fingers. Anyway, so now I'm an uncle, and that's just exciting. I probably won't see him again while he and my sister are in the hospital, but I'll certainly go over and visit when they go back home, which should be Friday.

Last night we

2002-01-15T17:00:00-07:00

Last night we killed mouse #7. That was a gross one. It got it's little leg stuck in the trap and was running around dragging it behind. Fabish and I had to kill it. We wrapped it in a garbage bag and smashed it with a hammer. It was really, really disgusting. We also threw the trap out since it wasn't really worth it to us to reuse it. I checked the remaining trap this morning only to find good 'ole number #8 dead.

In a completely unrelated story, my sister's water broke last night. That's right, by the end of the day I will be an uncle. Around 1 I'm going to go to the hospital and play my Game Boy and wait for the news, but for now I'll sit quietly trying not to be too excited.

Oh man, I feel terrible.

2002-01-16T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so here's the story.

I was working at Iona about a year ago, and my cousin told me he was going to get a website made for my uncle's company, Peoria Siding and Window. Now, my uncle is really rich, and this project was going to be like a $400,000 deal. I told one of the salesmen at Iona that it would be a good idea to call my cousin to place a bid on the job. Iona placed their bid, but lost it to a company called Web Giant.

So, the next time I saw my cousin he mentioned that a guy named Rob that was going to do most of the work on the site through the company Web Giant. He also said that he thought it was funny, because Rob worked at Iona, and Rob placed his bid through Iona AND through Web Giant.

Anyway, I thought that Web Giant was just an outfit that represented freelancers, and since much of the production staff at Iona did freelance on the side, I didn't worry about it much.

Fast forward about a year, and Dain, the another saleman, not the one I recommended call my cousin, takes me out to lunch to discuss a new project he wants me to work on. We were talking about the production team at Iona, and how virtually all of them do freelance on the side. I mentioned that I knew Rob did, because he did the site for my uncle's company. I didn't even mention the name of my uncle's company.

A few weeks later, I hear that Rob had been let go from Iona. I didn't know exactly why, but Dain called me up and told me it was because of his work at Web Giant. Web Giant didn't just represent freelancers, they actually employed him.

Now, granted, being employed by 2 companies at the same time that are bidding on the same jobs is a huge, huge no-no. It's just not accepted. You just don't do it. He should have been let go for that, but now he's blaming me for letting the secret out.

And if that wasn't enough, both Rob and Web Giant were using Iona produced material to sell themselves and their services. That is an even worse no-no, and I had no idea about that part, so I couldn't have let the cat out of the bag there.

In any case, Rob has emailed me since out right blaming me for what happened to him. Several people from Iona have placed the blame for what happened to Rob squarely on me, even though I feel my part in the whole thing was 1. an accident, and 2. not nearly as big as people are making it out to be.

But anyway, this guy is married with 2 kids, and I feel bad for playing any role, no matter how insignificant, in his getting let go. So, I ask you, if you still worked at the company in which Rob worked for, would you have any hard feelings against me? I don't really care if Rob does or not, because the simple fact is that he was doing things that should've gotten him fired. They got him fired. No skin off my back. What I'm really worried about, and what I feel terrible about, is that now some trust is lost between Iona and me, and Iona still pays a lot of my bills. If you still worked at Iona, would you hate me and stop trusting me?

The first pictures

2002-01-17T17:00:00-07:00

Here's some pictures from yesterday, when the baby was about 1 hour old. The first one is of me and my mom looking in, and the second is of my dad. Enjoy.

Man I want

2002-01-19T17:00:00-07:00

Man I want this car.

Well, the last few days have been uneventful as per usual. I'm fast approaching some financially trying days, so I've been doing what I can to spend absolutely no money. That means no food and no fun. Hopefully by the end of the week my money problems will be solved, but I'm certainly not betting on it.

My parents have been taking me out to eat a lot since they know I can't afford it alone anymore. We've visited little Jack a couple more times, and he spends his days crying like the little baby he is. Thursday we went to Pizza Uno, Friday night Avanti's, and today Red Lobster. Last night Mullens stopped by and he bought Pizza Hut for us. That's 4 free meals in 4 days. Not too shabby.

The webpage is all progress progress progress, and coming along quite nicely if I do say so myself. I was hoping it would be finished by today, but the programmer feel behind, so no such luck.

Rent is due today. That sucks. I didn't need that right now.

another picture There

2002-01-20T17:00:00-07:00

another picture

There is no hot water in the apartment. I refuse to take a cold one. I can't work until I shower. It's a sad state of affairs.

Last night me and Fabish watched 2 back to back episodes of Blind Date and laughed and made fun of the people. It was really nice. Those are going to be the things I miss when I live alone again. Granted, I think living alone will be much nicer than having 2 roommates for the most part, but I'm going to miss the little things like that. Ah well.

I keep having

2002-01-21T17:00:00-07:00

I keep having these dreams that I have to go back to high school for some reason, and I'm haunted by the things that really used to bother me in high school, but I've since learned that they're not a big deal. These include: forgetting my locker combination, having to sit by myself at lunch, forgetting "casual day" and coming to school in a uniform, and the list goes on. In real life, none of these would bother me anymore. In the dreams I've been having lately, they're like the worst things in the world.

Ah well. Today Alan is going car shopping and taking me with him. I'm driving, and Alan is giving me $8 for gas, which is nice. That will buy some more meals. I haven't been eating much lately.

I am a

2002-01-22T17:00:00-07:00

I am a starving artist. Literally.

Yesterday Alan and I went car shopping for a few hours. That's always fun. We even stopped by the BMW and Mercedes dealerships to take a look at my dreamcars. I thought about bullshitting the salesman into letting me drive one, but I decided against it. In high school, me and Mullens tricked a salesman into letting us drive an SS around, and I felt bad about it afterwards. He kept calling my house to try and pressure me into buying it, when I had no intention of buying it.

Anyway, after the car hunt we went to the Jubilee Cafe where Angie works and gave us free food. I've been lucky to get 1 free meal a day for the past 5 days or so, and tonight my parents invited me to dinner at my sister's. So that's another free meal. It's just too bad that the only meals I eat are free ones. I am starving right now and free dinner isn't for 3 more hours.

Last night our landlord called and will be showing off our apartment to potential renters. We had to clean a lot. My room is now cleaner than it has been since I moved in. It's nice to live and work in a clean room.

Praise the Lord.

2002-01-23T17:00:00-07:00

Praise the Lord. I got a project finished for Iona, and will be sending the invoice tomorrow. It's not a huge project, but it will give me more money than I have right now (I think it brings my net worth up to about -$1800). Plus the webpage will be up and ready to go next week, hopefully, so that will be income too. Things are turning around for my financially, and hopefully with finances comes a social life.

Yesterday I was

2002-01-23T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday I was walking Abby and I ran into Brett Lewis, one of 2 people I went to gradeschool AND high school with. Turns out he's living with 2 other guys I went to high school with, and the answer surprised me a bit. The people he lives with are 2 of the guys who have been popping up in my recent high school dreams (had another one last night, FYI), despite me never really talking to them when I went to school with them. Anyhoo, it was nice to see him again. I run into him about once a year at bars or parties or something.

Today I had to pay for lunch. That made my $10 into $5, then I spent another $4 on patches to repair my sad, sad pair of jeans. They're like 4 years old and falling apart. I've sewn up the crotch and the butt and the knees more than I thought was possible, and now they're getting to the point that after I sew them up, they rip immediately right above or below where I sew. So, today I bought some iron on patches to put on the inside to hopefully solve some of that. I ironed them on, and in the process burnt the knee. They are some sad looking pants. But the point of the story is that I now have exactly $1.

This weekend will be spent in St. Louis, visiting Amy with my dear friend Bryan J. Polk, esq. They know that I have no money and will do nothing but mooch, but they invited me anyway. I really should spend this weekend getting my page launched, but I've been working every weekend for quite some time and need a break to drink some beers and watch some movies and such.

Fun Times in Illinois' other half

2002-01-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, I went down to St. Louis this weekend with Bryan J. Polk to meet Amy at her apartment. She made us some excellent, excellent homemade pizza. She even made Polk's horrible choice in bacon taste okay. We drank some beers and watched some movies, including the cinematically perfect Army of Darkness, and Star 80, which was good because of all the nudity.

On Saturday night we rode the Metro, which brought back some fond memories of Chi-town and the El. I miss the big city sometimes. We got half-lost on the way to the Science Center so we ended up blowing off those plans to get back to Amy's apartment in time to meet Laura (side note: mission failed), and Cambry.

We didn't go to Chili's, but dinner was good anyway.

After that we hit a pool hall and bar briefly before drinking more beer and watching more movies. I also almost knocked Amy's eyeball out with a bottle cap. I guess my "throwing stuff at people's head" habit got a little out of control, although I haven't learned my lesson. Fabish and I have been throwing stuff at each other's head since I got back to P-town, which proves that I am equal oppurtunity annoyer, and I don't do it just for flirting's sake. Anyhoo.

Laura's car broke. My diagnosis: distributer cap/rotor... Time will tell, but I'm really curious about this one.

I spent too much money this weekend, but I'm still betting that my financial situation will turn around soon. My mom was supposed to take me grocery shopping tonight, but plans changed and instead she'll be taking me to dinner and shopping tomorrow night. Food is good, free food is better.

Side note #2: The Glass House sucks.

Yesterday was a

2002-01-28T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was a good day. I got a lot done on my website, then went out to my parent's house to take a nice long bath and wait for my dad to get home. He took me out to eat, then out to buy me some groceries to keep me fed for a little while.

The webpage is getting so close to finished now... Basically all I can do is wait for my programmer to finish his part and then tell me how to finish mine.

The only bad part of yesterday: Somehow some of my groceries disappeared after I bought them but before I put them in my cabinets. I don't know how that could have happened.

Once again, there is no hot water in the apartment.

I've been not

2002-01-31T17:00:00-07:00

I've been not updating lately, so here's a rundown of the past few days.

Mullens took me out to eat at Hooters, which means that once I'm making money again, I'll owe him 2 meals. We watched Junkyard Wars and drank some beers. Last night I went to visit Jack and my sister, and my parents brought some Famous Dave's ribs, which were excellent. One more free meal. Not a lot else has been going on with me, I suppose. It sucks having no money.

The worst part is this webpage that's in progress. The guy who is doing the programming is either dragging his feet or just really terrible at estimating dates, since he has yet to meet one deadline that he sent to me. I'm to the point where I can't do any more work until he's done with his part, which is a horrible, horrible waiting game. I don't necessarily want to go out and look for more work, since I want to keep my schedule free and clear so that when he's done I can devote every second of my day to finishing it up and promoting it. But I'm out of money and will owe him a lot more once he's done with his part, and that fucking sucks. If he could have kept his deadline of January 1st, none of this financial stuff would have been a problem. I guess I just need to plan ahead better in the future, and plan for the worst.

So, it slushed a lot here the other day and water is leaking under our door to the courtyard, soaking our entire hallway. Now that it's drying up, it smells like mold. Plus there's never any hot water in the building until like 3:30, which sucks. Only 3 more months here and then I'll get a better place. I'll miss the roomies though, I'm sure.

I just put on Yield for the first time in about a year. This is such a great album. Why don't I listen to it more often?

So Barb called

2002-02-04T17:00:00-07:00

So, Barb called me up on Friday night. We have a long, not so pleasant past, and she's been trying her best to be my friend again. She's even gone so far as to invite me to be in her wedding party. Weird. Anyway, she wanted to go out with me, but I told her I had no money. She treated me to bowling and dinner, which was nice.

Barb and I aren't friends in any kind of "real" sense. We go out, she spends all her time complaining about her fiancee, her mom, telling me how much she misses her dad, and basically all the reasons why her life sucks. At the end of the night she thanks me for helping her feel better. That happens once about every other month. It's fine with me, I guess... if it keeps her sane and feeling okay, then I'm glad to do it. She always proposes other plans, like wanting me to take her out to the bars on her 21st, but those never work out, and probably never will. I'm a reluctant friend, I suppose.

Anyway, that was Friday night. On Saturday Alan and I got some beers and sat around and drank and watched some TV. It was a fun weekend for me, I guess, considering how free it was. Superbowl Sunday Mullens came over and brought a bunch of pizza, and we just chilled and watched the game. Piece of trivia for you: Superbowl 36 was the first and only football game I have sat down and watched in it's entirity. We also made plans to go down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Those plans depend on me getting my check from Iona. No check, no money, no Mardi Gras. We'll see what happens there.

Yesterday I bitched at my programmer a bit and went out to my parent's to do some laundry. Exciting stuff, I tell you. Today my programmer emailed me saying his portion of the site will be ready to go by the end of the day. I'm not holding my breath, but I am getting pretty excited.

I'd like to take a few minutes to bitch about my current financial situation.

2002-02-06T17:00:00-07:00

It's all I can think about these days. It sucks. I hate it. Every second I have this thought in my mind about how incredibly broke I am.

I have just enough in my checking account to keep my account open. No more, no less. In about 10 days I have a car payment and insurance. I have never been this hard up for cash. It sucks so, so bad.

See, here's the deal. I've done a lot of work for this guy in Florida, and at one point he recommended I do my own money-making website. He gave me a great idea and offered to front the money to get the page done. He would put up all the money for a programmer, make back twice what he put into it, then hand the site over to me. It was a generous offer, and we started working on the site. A few weeks later, he said he felt bad because all he was doing was paying for the site and I was doing all the work. He said if I wanted to, I could pay for the site and just live off the profits without having to pay him back. I thought it was a good idea.

I had a stellar November and could actually afford the page. I worked my ass off on projects throughout November and December and had the cash to 1. give the programmer a down payment on the site, and 2. live off the cash I made for a month while I worked exclusively on the site to get it up and running. He gave me a due date of January 1st, so I had to have enough to support me until then.

So, January first comes and goes, and the site isn't finished. By this point I was already stretching the last of my month's supply of money, and he promised the site would be done within a week. I figured I could stretch the money another week.

Well, I stretched the money and lived off my credit cards. I haven't been looking for more work because I really want to devote my time to finishing off the site, and he's been promising me day by day that it would be finished. Every day it's "it'll be finished tomorrow" or "it'll be finished by the end of the week". For the past 4 days it's been "by the end of the day". Holy shit. I can't tell you how incredibly broke I am after stretching 1 month's money into 2 months. And still, I haven't been looking for more work because I want to finish this stupid page.

But, I guess it's getting close. Now he keeps adding functionality that I don't want or need in the page when I wish he'd just finish what he started. It's frustrating beyond belief.

A big email advertising campaign starts tomorrow. I may have to delay it. God damn it. That sucks.

The webpage is

2002-02-08T17:00:00-07:00

The webpage is ultra close to being finished, so finances have started to become less of an issue for me. Now he says it'll be finished by Monday night, which is strange because that makes it exactly 1 week that he told me "by the end of the day" consistently. Remarkably, I still believe him every time he says it.

Unfortunately, Monday night is also the night we planned to drive down to Mardi Gras, which means I won't be part of the oh-so-important "test drive" of the site, which means that it probably won't be launched until my return. That really sucks. But I suppose it's a moot point since I didn't get my check from Iona and can't afford to go to Mardi Gras anyway.

I've spent like 10 hours a day for the past 4 days trying to get the site up or reading about cheap ways to promote it. I think I'm becoming obsessed.

So, it's been a while since I've been out to eat at a real restaurant. Since I went down to visit Amy, actually. People don't understand how much you miss things like that. When you're self employed and work from home, you don't really interact with a large number of people or anything. You just sort of wait for the times that you can go out and see people. Even strangers, it doesn't matter. Just having a waitress ask for my order is something, ya know? Well, I'm sure you don't know... it's just hard. Anyway, so yesterday I decided to treat myself to a Chinese buffet. I had intended to pay for it (with my credit card of course, since I don't even have $5 in my bank account anymore), but Fabish paid for me. What a nice boy. I'm still living off the groceries my dad bought for me, but an Avanti's gondola sounds great right now. Maybe I'll try to talk someone into going to Avanti's with me.

Ah Mr. Pibb

2002-02-09T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, Mr. Pibb, how I've missed you.

So I worked

2002-02-09T17:00:00-07:00

So I worked long and hard on my webpage last night, and around 6 or 7, Mullens called to see about the plans for Mardi Gras in St. Louis. I told him I wasn't really interested since it sucked last year, and I just had too much work to get done. In the end, though, I decided to go. I needed to treat myself and be social for a little while, so at 8 we headed down to St. Louis. Alan gave me $30 spending money.

We got there at about 10:45, just as Mardi Gras was being broken up. Cops were walking down the street shining their flashlights at people telling them to go home. So we walked down a deserted street with tons of beer bottles everywhere, then went back to the car.

Mullens had the idea to go to the landing to hit a few bars or something. Unfortunately none of us knew where the landing was, so we just wandered around forever to find it. When we finally did, it was so stupidly crowded that we couldn't get into any bars or anything.

So we packed up and went home. It pretty much sucked a lot.

The best part of the night was when we were walking down the street to the landing with a ton of cars that were in a traffic jam. People had their windows rolled down and would just talk to us. The rest of the night I could have done without.

Oh man. I

2002-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

Oh man. I just got done with the 3 S's, and I feel so much better. That's the first time I was able to do that in about 4 days.

So, Monday I tried to wake up really late in preparation for the long day ahead of me, but I failed miserably. I guess I can only sleep in when I don't really need or want to. I woke up at around 10:30 and just sort of laid there with my eyes closed for a couple of hours before giving up and getting up.

Alan and I did a bit of planning and preparation, and we picked up Fuller and Mullens around 7 and started the long drive to New Orleans.

We got there at around 7 in the morning, making the drive just over 12 hours, which was shorter than any of us expected. We didn't eat or sleep on the drive down, so when we got there we had some McDonald's breakfast bicuits and tried to not fall asleep while eating them. After watching the crappy Mardi Gras parade (horrible, boring parade), we went back to the car to get some shut eye since none of us had slept a whole lot in the past 24 hours.

After maybe an hour of sleep we got up and started drinking a bit. We got good and buzzed very quickly and headed off to Bourbon Street at around 3. Our group got split up relatively early in the night (we were there for about 20 minutes maybe before we lost track of each other), so me and Fuller went one way and Alan and Mullens went another.

We walked around the street talking to strange people and having odd conversations with people there. There were these God lover types who walked around with big signs about how we're all going to hell and God told them to be there and save our souls. Homeless people were everywhere getting their alcohol from us. Fuller dropped his pants for beads. I just waved to many of the girls in the balconies who threw their beads down to me. I even got Harry Anderson's (from Night Court) beads, which is a long story I don't feel like typing.

By about 10, we had enough and headed back to the car and called Mullens' cell phone to come let is in so we could get some sleep. By this point I had been up somewhere in the neighboorhood of 40 hours on about an hour of sleep. Once you add alcohol into the equation, you really have a hard time walking, keeping your eyes open, and saying things that make any sense. So they met us there at about 10:30, and Mullens decided he could start driving us some. We all passed out very, very quickly. When I woke up, the car was stopped and I was freezing cold. I looked outside and noticed we were in a gas station parking lot. I laid there for a while feeling like crap before I decided to just get out and puke to make myself feel better. So that's exactly what I did, then went back to get some sleep. We slept until about 6am, then drove back.

None of us had showered or shaved or even changed clothes since Monday, so we all smelled and felt like crap. We took turns sleeping in the back while 2 people stayed awake and drove.

So that was my Mardi Gras weekend. I will definitely be going back someday, and when I do I'll plan a bit better. Even get a hotel room and a full night's sleep before the event. That will be better I think.

Iona called me today. I thought they were going to give me work, but really they wanted my advice on how to handle difficulties going from a computer to video. If I go in and tell them what's what they'll pay me a consultation fee, but otherwise I'm still poor. Woe is me.

So I went

2002-02-15T17:00:00-07:00

So I went out to my parent's place tonight to do some laundry and help my dad with various things. I went outside to play with Abby since she loves running around in circles like an idiot and it's hard for her to do that in the city. I was out in my parent's front yard as she ran around and a neighbor drove down the street. I know him because he's one of my old friend's grandpas, and of course, I grew up down the street from him. So I waved as he drove by and he waved back. I went back to playing with Abby a bit and glanced up at the top of the street where Mr. Johnson was pulling into traffic. As I looked up I saw a little black car run smack into the side of him. Probably around 60 miles an hour.

My parents live in a subdivision off a small, 2 lane highway. The traffic along the highway moves extremely fast, and there's some twists and turns, so you have to be pretty careful when turning onto it. I'm not quite sure how the Johnson's didn't see this car coming since it's pretty straight in the direction it came from, but for whatever reason there was a pretty bad accident.

I ran inside and called 911, telling them that an elderly couple had just had a car accident but I didn't know if anyone was hurt. After the phone call I ran up to the top of the street to see if everyone was okay.

Mr. Johnson's car was in the ditch across the street and the driver's side door had been collapsed. The little black car was basically totalled. No one in either car could open their door, but their windows had been broken so they told me they were basically okay. Mr. Johnson was on his cell phone, and the guy in the black car just looked stunned.

By this time other people were pulling over and on their cell phones. I kept trying to tell them that I had called 911 and it wasn't necessary for them to do it too, but they weren't listening to me. I have no idea how many 911 calls they got related to the accident.

So, after a while it was obvious that I couldn't do anything, and I was getting cold, so I went back to my parent's and we watched from a window. In the end, the guy in the black car had a pretty banged up knee and the Johnsons were basically okay, but pretty shaken up. They took everyone to the hospital, basically just to make sure they weren't bleeding internally or anything like that. It was pretty obvious how the accident had happened and who was at fault, so the police didn't question me, as I thought they might.

And that's my story.

The webpage is finished!

2002-02-18T17:00:00-07:00

Sweet Holy Jesus, I had no clue how extensive this project was going to be. Not to mention expensive and an all around pain in my ass.

I had to set up a merchant account to take credit card orders, which was a pain in itself. But you can't take credit card orders without a secure server, so I had to apply for one of those. The testing/revision stage was enough to want to shoot myself in the face. I've been building webpages since I was 15, and I've never had the slightest idea what went into bigger, more dynamic sites like this one. I wish I was a bit more prepared for it than I was, but such is life sometimes.

In any case, it's finished. Not perfect, but finished. I'll be tweaking and tweaking in the days/weeks to come, and once I make back my initial investment I'll post the address here for the world to see.

Much thanks to my dad who has been loaning me money and buying me food throughout the course of this project. Especially for tonight when he treated me to chicken fingers at Chili's, which I had been craving for... oh, just about forever.

another webpage, redone and done.

2002-02-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, i got my first CGI script working. It was a script that I downloaded for free and should have taken about 15 minutes to get it to work, but instead it took about 3 hours because I didn't know what I was doing. It's a petition to bring back Mr. Pibb and get rid of that horrible Pibb Xtra replacement. You should go sign it here:

http://www.junkmachine.com/pibb/

And after that, go to:

http://www.junkmachine.com/

and read the stupid crap I've been working on today.

In an unrelated story, Alan brought home a bunch of fireworks tonight so we were playing with them. He decided it would be a good idea to launch a bottle rocket into the toilet, and after doing so, the toilet basically exploded. It smelled terrible and our toilet is very, very broken. We're headed to Lowe's tomorrow to get a new one.

Tonight Fabish had diarrhea. I thought that was a hilarious stroke of bad luck for him. So, what does one do when they have diarrhea and no toilet? He crapped into a garbage bag. It was disgusting and hilarious at the same time.

This is going to be really long and really lame.

2002-02-22T17:00:00-07:00

So, the money making webpage has been up about 3 days now. It's odd... I thought I knew what to expect with a website that got this much traffic, but I was way off. It's been 3 days and I've gotten close to 6,000 hits and exactly 0 sales so far. I'm not discourages, but I am a bit disappointed. I thought I'd get at least a couple sales with 6,000 hits.

The interesting things are the parts I didn't expect. Like the bigger jobs. I've gotten 3 email inquiries about doing bigger jobs, so that's good. I've gotten 7 or 8 asking me if they could work for me, which I had no idea would happen. And perhaps the weirdest part is the mailing list. I thought after 3 days I'd be lucky to have 15 or 20 people on my list. Close to 300 signed up. Can you believe that? I was shocked. That's close to 5% of the visitors. Weird.

So, after the whole toilet breaking fiasco, Alan and I went to Menards to buy a new one. We got the cheapest one available of course, which was $60. Before removing the old toilet, we decided to really kick the crap out of it (no pun intended), so we fired more bottle rockets into it before finally throwing it away and breaking it with a hammer. Good times. All the events were documented with pictures, so there will be an update on junkmachine.com soon, I'm sure.

Thursday night, Bryan J. Polk took me, Bryan J. Wolford, and Amy out to a nice din din at Old Chicago. I drank an Asian beer, which I absolutely do not recommend to anyone. It was not a pleasant experience.

Friday Jaimee got into town, and we went to Chili's (I love their chicken fingers), took Abby on a walk, and went to see The Majestic, which was kind of boring and kind of cheeseball, but good enough to justify the $3 admission. Especially because Jaimee paid for me (because I am a pimp). After a quick dinner at Pizza Hut we headed over to Bryan J. Polk's apartment for a party, which turned out to be less of a party and more of a gathering, if you ask me. It was Polk's apartment but for the majority of the evening, he was nowhere to be seen. Ah well, such is life.

I had to wake up stupid early this morning to get to my dad's to help him take our cat to the vet. Cats have a tendency to freak out in the car, and our cats are the worst of the bunch. I had to hold him down to make sure we actually got the vet. All his hair is falling out and my dad is really worried. I mean, it's not healthy, but on the other hand that stupid cat will be 18 years old pretty soon. My diagnosis for the loss of hair: The cat is like 130 in cat years. IT'S OLD. I was right, technically, since his old age has apparently made his liver fail or something like that. He gave us some medicine, but if he's not better in a few weeks he'll have to be put down. He's had a good life.

He took me out to lunch and I came back to the apartment, still expecting to see a sale. I was a bit disappointed. Soon enough my very first mailing will go out to all my loyal viewers. I haven't a clue what it will be about. And soon enough, I will make my first sale (hopefully sooner than later, beings how I'm SO FREAKING POOR).

And sign my Pibb petition on junkmachine.com, slacker asses.

So the other

2002-02-25T17:00:00-07:00

So the other day it was like 80 or 90 degrees outside, so I went out to my dad's house to wash my car. The next day it rained like a mother, then snowed. That's always fun.

Nothing is going on. I am still so poor and I really want one of those P'zones from Pizza Hut. I also want Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I remember when I used to be able to go out and buy stuff. Those were good times.

Don't have much

2002-02-28T17:00:00-07:00

Don't have much to report. Been working hard trying to find more freelancing gigs, and taking breaks by working on junkmachine. And still no one from this journal has signed my Pibb petition. For shame.

Fabish cut off all my hair. It's really short now, which is kind of refreshing. It was getting pretty long and pretty annoying. I don't think I'm going to dye it blonde again. Not this time anyway.

I also visited my sister and my little nephew, who is turning into more of a person every day. He's so cool now. I can't wait til he starts moving a lot and talking and smiling and such. He's getting a lot more curious now, always looking around and seeing what's out there.

Tomorrow night is a party here at the apartment. I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. Anyone in the Peoria area is welcome to head on over.

work, money, and more work.

2002-03-03T17:00:00-07:00

Things are turning around for me, financially speaking. That's a great thing. I checked my credit card statements and I'm not quite as in debt as I thought, although still very much in debt. This week I should have quite a bit of money coming in, and in 2 weeks I'll owe my programmer the last of his money. I should be just out of debt by the time my lease runs out, so I can move into a new place and start getting in debt again. I love my life sometimes.

In other news, I spent the weekend not going out and doing stuff, so I was able to make a cool little cartoon, something I haven't done in way too long. Polk, you'll love it. It's at junkmachine.com under the "watch a cartoon" link. Enjoy.

Friday night we had a party here. It was fun. I was mostly sober, which is rare for our parties. I think it's because I was drinking hard alcohol most of the evening and I'm always more careful with hard stuff than with beer.

Well, back to work. I'm trying to pound out some of these project quickly so I can not worry about them (and get the money in a hurry).

Treating myself.

2002-03-04T17:00:00-07:00

So, I've been very broke for about 2 and a half months now. I mean VERY broke with virtually nothing to spend entertainment or food wise. I've been pretty responsible about it. Only buying the essentials, and even cutting back my 3-per-week DVD habit. I think the last DVD I bought was Tron, which came out more than a month ago.

But, today I had to break tradition and spend some money on, what else, a new DVD. I bought the special, limited edition, Necronomicon covered Evil Dead DVD. It's awesome. A Bruce Campbell documentary about fans like me was included, which explained why he wears those horrible, horrible shirts to conventions. I rate about a 3 on his 1-5 fan scale, which is good, since that's still in a the likeable range. My favorite part of the documentary was at the very end during the credits when Bruce was approached by a "non-fan" who spent about 5 minutes telling him why he sucked and why his movies were awful. Bruce just stood there, nodding, and saying things like "Yeah, you're probably right."

I also bought a P'Zone, which I had been craving since the first stupid P'Zone commercial I saw. It was only okay. I think I'd rather just eat a pizza, really.

So I was

2002-03-05T17:00:00-07:00

So I was up until like 3am trying to get this mailing list script working, and finally, mission accomplished. You can sign up for a junkmachine.com mailing list now. Worthless, sure, but I've been wanting to be able to make scripts like that for a while, so any practice is good practice.

Not a whole lot else going on. Fabish got me all excited today with plans of going out to eat Chinese food, only to disappoint me later. I guess we're going Friday instead, but I'm hungry for Chinese now.

It's been a

2002-03-06T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a busy but very productive few days for me. I'm doing this project for a guy, and the money I get from it will go straight back to the developper I paid to do my website for me. After that, the only debt I have to worry about is my credit cards, which is still pretty substantial. But I'll be getting the downpayment for a big project very soon now, and that will pay off about half of my debt. Things are looking up for me. Plus Iona hasn't paid me for a project I did about 6 weeks ago now, so I've been bugging them for my money. They promise me that it will be in my hands by next week. It will feel like free money since it's been so long since I did the project. Free money is good money.

Today I went out with Fabish for some Chinese food, went to check out some apartments I might be moving into, and have been working on this project ever since. For some reason, I feel like if I can get it finished by the end of the week, I'll immediately stop being poor and in debt, so I've been really driven to get it done.

So, the apartment hunting was lame. I think I'm going to have to move into one of those big apartment complexes where every apartment is exactly the same, the walls are very thin, and it's just all around lame. I like my apartments to have some personality, but the complexes are cheap and readily available. Plus they all have central air, which is something I've never had while living out of my parent's house. Central air is nice.

the interesting thing that seems less interesting.

2002-03-07T17:00:00-07:00

I thought of it. I was going to mention the Perl class I signed up for. I've been learning a lot about website back ends and databases and the like, and been downloading, viewing, and modifying scripts for my own use. Now I'll learn how to write them.

The only thing that sucks is that it's 5 whole days, from 8-5. It starts March 18th and goes that entire week. I'm looking forward to having a reason to wake up and a reason to leave the house. Unfortunately I'll lose an entire week when I could be working or looking for jobs. But hopefully this Perl stuff will keep me from blowing money on another website with a huge back end, so I can still money making sites without dropping 5 Gs on it.

Anyway, that's boring now that I figured it out. And now I'm back to work on this other project.

Today my dad

2002-03-07T17:00:00-07:00

Today my dad took me out to lunch and gave me some extra cash so money isn't quite as tight now. That's a good feeling... knowing I can spend a little money on groceries or pay more than the minimum on my credit cards.

I took Abby to the park and printed up some junkmachine.com promotional material at good 'ole Kinko's.

It seems like I started this post intended to post something interesting. But I can't remember what that was.

Waking up and

2002-03-08T17:00:00-07:00

Waking up and being able to take a hot shower is something most people take for granted. Not me.

It was a

2002-03-10T17:00:00-07:00

It was a good weekend. Friday I did nothing. I worked on a project trying to get it out the door and get the money in my hand. Saturday I went up to visit Jaimee. It was a good visit.

I came home today to my check from Iona, which makes me much, much, much less broke than I was before. I paid off my debt to Fabish and still have a bit left over to pay off some credit cards. Once I get a couple other checks coming soon, I will be almost out of credit card debt. And none too soon.

I registered a new domain name for my latest web project which will be started hopefully tomorrow. I'm also heading out to my parent's house to get some laundry done tomorrow. It will be a busy day.

a reminder on why I hate freelancing and wanted to do the web thing.

2002-03-12T17:00:00-07:00

Anyhoo, I've bene hard at work for far too long on this web page I'm doing for one of my clients. He's from Singapore, and his English is not the best I've ever heard (or read, as the case may be) so getting the project done has been pretty trying.

And not only that, but he's one of those clients who keeps wanting more and more and more without expecting to pay for it. It's really pissing me off. I'm kind of over a barrel though, since I've only gotten a $200 down payment and have done $1000 worth of work. I may end up just swallowing my pride, doing it for free, and sending him a nasty email once I'm paid. That will work nicely.

I've had experiences in freelancing like this before, which is a rude reminder of why I wanted that web page to start making money and I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

And speaking of that webpage, it's been up for about 3 weeks now and I finally made my first sale. Followed closely by my second sale. That's $17 the page has made me. $3,983 to go and it will have broken even. In the meantime, $17 will buy me a nice ass dinner. Or it will buy Jaimee a birthday present. It'll probably go towards #2.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK.

2002-03-13T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm a bit pissed off. The guy I was doing the webpage for refuses to pay me for services rendered. I have been more than reasonable throughout the course of the project, doing things above and beyond what was required of me, and he fucking turned me around, bent me over, and put his penis directly in my asshole. I could not be more pissed off at him right now.

Since he paid me the deposit via PayPal, he's going to do whatever he can to get it back. Which will mean I lost more than a week of work I could have spent on other projects. FUCK.

I'm calling my dad's lawyer tomorrow to see if he can help me in getting my $1,000 out of this fucking shitfuck fucker, but since he lives in another state, it may just be cheaper to let it slide than get my money. Maybe I'll call Judge Judy if that's the case. She'll hook me up.

Plus the Perl class I was so excited about has been cancelled. FUCK. This has been a bad few months for me.

I am up

2002-03-13T17:00:00-07:00

I am up way too late for my own good. I just compiled a bunch of tax stuff and will be taking it to H&R Block tomorrow. I usually do my own taxes, but this year it's just too much for me to handle. I was employed until September 1st, then self employed for the remainder of the year. I get all sorts of tax breaks for being self employed, but I'll be damned if I know what all of them are.

The good part is that since I was employed until September, I've already paid like $3,500 in taxes this year, and with my deductables, I've made virtually nothing as a freelancer. So hopefully I'll be getting a tax return. Cross your fingers for me, since I am broke and need a break in that department.

Rumor has it that self employed people are supposed to file by March 15th. If the IRS comes calling, I'll plead ignorance, since I had no idea of that until today.

Fucking son of a bitch.

2002-03-14T17:00:00-07:00

I called our family lawyer today to see what I can do about this guy wasting a week of time in which I could have been making money. Unfortunately his advice was to forget it. It would take $300 to get the case into small claims court with no guarantee that it would ever be heard, much less won. I would probably end up spending $800 to win a $1000 case. Plus even more wasted time. So I've filed a complaint to the Better Business Bureau, to PayPal, and to his web server. If I can't get my money I'm going to waste his time and give him a bad reputation.

This couldn't have come at a worse possible time. I'm so broke, with bills due. This money was going to get my head above water for the first time in months. God, this fucking sucks. I guess it doesn't pay to be a nice guy in business. I was more than reasonable and compromised more than I should have, and I still get screwed up the ass. It's days like this I wish I had never quit Iona.

The last few months have been disappointment after disappointment, and there is no end in sight. I wish I was smart enough to think of a quick money making scheme, but I'm really not. Well, I suppose I could make some quick cash with a porn site or something similar, but I'd rather not sell my soul to the devil for money.

a conversation with my mom

2002-03-16T17:00:00-07:00

Mom: "Tim, how would you feel about being Jack's Godfather?"
Tim: "Oh no, they're not going to ask me, are they?"
Mom: "Why? Don't you want to be?"
Tim: "No, I don't. I hope they don't ask me. I'd have to say no."
Mom: "Why would you say no?"
Tim: "Well, I don't think I'd be a good role model for a child whose parents are trying to raise him religiously."
Mom: "Why do you say that?"
Tim: "I think all organized religion is pointless, and I have big problems with Catholicism. Since they're probably going to raise him Catholic, I wouldn't be good for the job."
Mom: "Oh. Well, I was just asking because I think they're going to ask Brian Jenn to be his Godfather."
Tim: "Oh, good."
Mom: "You don't care?"
Tim: "I'm really happy about the decision."
Mom: "Okay. You're still his uncle, and you're still in his life."
Tim: "Yeah, it's fine. I didn't want to be his Godfather."
Mom: "Okay. I just wanted you to know that you can still participate in raising him."
Tim: "Mom, I know. I don't care."

Apparently everyone in my family was concerned with how I'd take the news that I will not be my nephew's Godfather. I really couldn't care less. I'm relieved, actually.

I've spent the last few days helping my dad set up a new office in the house and trying to find ways to make some quick cash. I just went over the limit on one of my credit cards and they're charging me a penalty for it. Fuck. I did not need that.

I may have to do something involving porn to make some quick cash.

So I was

2002-03-17T17:00:00-07:00

So, I was checking through my logs to see what kind of traffic junkmachine.com has been getting, and ran across something weird.

http://www.zadara.cz/Programy%20internet/java_prog.htm

I haven't the slightest idea what that page says, but it sure does link to junkmachine.com. Weird.

Traffic is okay on that page. It's getting better every day. Polk, you never told me what you thought of the All Alone cartoon.

My downpayment on the mosquito project should be coming within the next day or two. That will help immeasurably with bills and whatnot.

In other news, I just learned that Iona, my former employer, has laid off 6 more people. Again, weird.

Junkmachine.com's first arch

2002-03-18T17:00:00-07:00

Junkmachine.com's first arch enemy has fought back. Awesome. Read about it on junkmachine.com.

Andrew Haben removed

2002-03-20T17:00:00-07:00

Andrew Haben removed his webpage created in my honor. I'm really disappointed.

Wolford came into town last night, so me, him, and Polk went out for drinks and a little din din. Alan had one of his shitastic parties, so I locked myself in my room. When I got back from drinks I walked into the apartment only to see 2 people about to have sex on my couch. It was an awkward situation to say the least. I only knew the guy a little, and I didn't know the girl at all. She was obviously embarrased. I said "what's up" to the guy, who gave me a thumbs up. Then I went to my room and went to sleep. There's no stains or anything on my couch, so I'm not too bitter about it. Alan cleaned up most of the trash and the rest will stay until I get the nerve to yell at him.

I'm really tired today, but I've been extremely productive the past few days. I rule.

My parents took

2002-03-20T17:00:00-07:00

My parents took me out to Famous Daves last night, which was excellent. Then I had to help them fix up my dad's new office, carrying stuff from one room to the other and blah blah blah.

Not much else up on my front. Been applying to get more jobs, nothing panning out so far. I'm waiting for some feedback on the mosquito project before I get started on that. I'm not fond of these waiting games this job makes me play.

So I haven't

2002-03-25T17:00:00-07:00

So, I haven't updated for a few days. Here's the update covering everything.

Friday, Andrea called me and we went out for lunch. I haven't seen her or talked to her since my senior year of high school, so it's been almost 5 years. With the whole Barb fiasco that took place that year, she took Barb's side and I haven't seen her since. Now that Barb is trying to be my friend again, Andrea took it upon herself to give me a call. I was supposed to meet her at Chuck E. Cheese and hang out with her and her little brother and sister. Instead I showed up really late because I'm cool like that and we just went to lunch.

Saturday Barb called me wanting to discuss how things went down between me and her so many years before. Even though the situation left me bitter at the world and effected me in more ways than I care to count, I like to think that now, I've moved on. I don't need her, and I hope she doesn't need me. And I really don't need to discuss things with her that I dealt with years ago, on my own. Bringing up everything again may be helping her figure things out, but it's not helping me. It's annoying me at least, and making me hate her again at worst. I don't want to hate her anymore. But I don't want to hang out with her either.

Anyway, Sunday I went up to visit Jaimee and get her pictures of Sir Humps a Lot. There are some excellent pictures in the bunch, and one day soon I'll get the motivation to scan them and update junkmachine.com.

After I got home from Jaimee's, I spent a bit of time dicking around the apartment and talking to Fabish for the first time in a week and some odd days. Then all of the sudden, the sickness hit. It's odd, because usually you can feel a sickness coming on, and it approaches very slowly. Then one day, you wake up and you feel sick. Well, that's how it is with me. But yesterday, it was so sudden. One second I felt great, and about 15 minutes later I had the worst sore throat you could ever begin to imagine, headache, fever, etc. etc. etc. I decided to take a nap for a few hours, which is rare for me. I felt even worse waking up from it.

I went to bed early last night and woke up not too long ago now. I made the trip to Walgreen's and bought some sore throat medication. A sore throat is the worst thing in the world to have. It's terrible. Everything sucks with a sore throat.

But the worst part of this whole thing is that right now I feel like I did last year when I developped a mean case of strep throat. That sickness kicked my ass for like 2 weeks. I'll never forget when I finally caved and went to the doctor's office, only to barf all over their bathroom and be scolded for not showing up earlier. Anyway, I'm still hoping and praying that this little disease is just one of those 24 hour things, but I don't know if a 24 hour thing could make my throat feel this bad. Not that I'm complaining. Oh wait, yes I am. Fucking sore throat.

I feel about

2002-03-26T17:00:00-07:00

I feel about 300 times better today. My dad called me to see if I wanted to go out to lunch with him, and while I was talking to him, my mom stopped by to drop off my lunch. It was a weird coincidence.

I felt like crap, but I'm not sure it was a bad enough sickness to make my parents worry so much about me. And truthfully, I think they were worried about more than just the illness. It's just that for the past few months, things have been rough for me. I always promise myself "well, it will be better once this one thing happens", but that one thing never happens. Or it half-happens and gets taken away. Either way, it's been a few bad months for me. Just when things started to get better again, I get sick.

I've been keeping a relatively positive outlook on things through the course of it all, but I think my parents are worried that someday soon I'll admit defeat and get angry at the world or something. I never thought making myself happy would make myself this frustrated.

So the latest

2002-03-28T17:00:00-07:00

So, the latest is that the guy who ripped me off and didn't pay me for the webpage I did for him started sending me viruses. I used an email tracker to see if I could figure out the IP, which I did pretty easily. I reported him to his ISP and sent him an email asking him to stop sending viruses, since he had sent a bunch of them.

He took the oppurtunity of my new email to tell me that he was going to sue me to get back his $200 down payment. I really, really hope he sues me. That way, he pays the court fees and I can counter sue for free. There's no way in hell I could ever lose.

The whole situation makes me laugh, because I am 100% right, and everything he does is just going to dig his hole deeper and deeper. No skin off my back.

I went out to my parent's house to change my oil earlier. Now I'm working on the mosquito project that will get me out of debt. Later, we're having a cook out.

A clean computer

2002-03-29T17:00:00-07:00

A clean computer is a happy computer.

I forgot to back up my address book, so I lost that. But other than that, I am up and running to go again. That wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I thought for sure I'd lose a lot of stuff.

Fabish called me

2002-03-29T17:00:00-07:00

Fabish called me into his room just a couple of minutes ago, all excited to show me something. I walked in and he showed me his computer screen, and he had just opened up Morpheus. He wanted to show me the banner ad at the top of the opening screen. www.funnyprizes.com... the site I did all those illustrations for. The ad contained about 6 of my drawings.

I know it's silly, and I know that no one in the world other than me and like 10 other people will see that banner and think "wow, Tim did that!", but it's still an amazing feeling to have people look at what I've drawn. I only wish I was more happy with the quality, not to mention the content, of the pictures. But either way, it was a big deal to me.

Shit.

2002-03-29T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I had many things planned to do today. Unfortunately, I probably won't get around to doing them. Why, you ask? Because I have a feeling those viruses I've been getting have been doing more damage than I originally thought. I bought some Antivirus software to check, but it won't let me install it. I'm blaming this on the virus I may or may not have. Other little annoyances have been popping up since I started getting the emails, so I figure a reinstall is my best bet at this point. Shit.

Anyway, I'll be backing stuff up as to not lost anything important for the next couple hours, then reinstalling for a few hours after that. Wish me luck.

My good buddy

2002-03-30T17:00:00-07:00

My good buddy Brian Kelly stopped by Peoria for Easter and gave me a call yesterday. We went out to see Panic Room. I ran into my other good Bryan buddy, Bryan J. Polk. If only I had run into Wolford... it would have been the night I saw all of my Bry(i)an friends.

I also "met" the infamous Jim Kerr, although Polk is rude and never introduced us.

Panic Room wasn't a fantastic movie, but I thought it was good. Jodie Foster spent a good deal of the movie in those glasses I love, which made her look so freaking hot.

I came back and had dreams about Halle Berry wanting to date me, but her black friends didn't approve. But I didn't really care, because I didn't want to date her anyway.

I felt really

2002-03-31T17:00:00-07:00

I felt really, really terrible last night. I think it was a combination of being half-sick, then going to my aunt and uncle's house where everyone smokes. I inhaled about 3 packs worth, which made me miserable. When I got home, I watched Simpsons but could barely keep my eyes open. I forced myself to stay awake until 9, when I finally went to bed.

And here it is, 4 AM, and I've woken up and I'm not tired at all. That sucks. And my throat is killing me and I'm sure I have a fever. Fuck you, sickness. Fuck you to hell.

I should really

2002-04-03T17:00:00-07:00

I should really be tired right now.

So I downloaded

2002-04-03T17:00:00-07:00

So I downloaded a bunch of Strokes songs, and I must say they kick ass. I recommend them to everyone reading this right now.

It's been an uneventful few days. I applied for a full time job as a comic book artist. I almost certainly won't get it, but it would be totally cool if I did.

I'm hard at work with this mosquito thing in the hopes that I'll get the Alpha CD out tomorrow, leaving a few days off that I can work on my own thang... a timwasson.com renovation as well as many junkmachine.com updates. Exciting times.

When I was

2002-04-05T17:00:00-07:00

When I was a kid, I used to get nightmares all the time. At least every week. Back then, they were always about how bad guys were trying to get in and kill me and my family. Then, for about 15 years, I never had a nightmare. Ever. Now I'm getting them again occassionally... just a few times a month. But now the nightmares are never about bad guys or me being killed. They're always about me breaking the law somehow and avoiding the police, the whole time wishing I hadn't done whatever it was I did.

So, last night I had one that me and my cousin Russ kidnapped my nephew for no real reason. We were running from the cops and eventually they caught us. I remember thinking that I'd probably be let off with a slap on the wrists and Russ would end up getting jail time, because of drug offenses and such in the past. I can't tell you how glad I was to wake up.

Anyway, I wonder what these kinds of nightmares mean. I wonder if I'm nuts.

I finally broke down and bought Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back last night. I was looking forward to watching it, watching it again with the commentary, then watching all the bonus stuff and basically wasting my whole night. But after I got home, I noticed Mr. Affleck is not on the commentary. How disappointing. He was always the highlight of the other commentaries.

The new timwasson.com will blow your mind. Once I get it done.

Finally after many

2002-04-07T17:00:00-07:00

Finally, after many long days, the timwasson.com renovation is finished. And, if I do say so myself, it's the best webpage in the whole entire world. I mean that seriously.

Next up: A couple modifications to junkmachine.com. I'm debating as to whether to go ahead and keep working and finish it up tonight or do it tomorrow. On one hand, I've been ultra productive lately and don't want to ruing my streak. On the other hand, I'm bored sitting at my computer and want to watch TV or something now.

I had another

2002-04-08T17:00:00-07:00

I had another one of those dreams last night. Me and a few others were going to rob a rich old man, but our plan was stopped by security guards, James Woods and Andy Richter. Weird. People were killed and I just wanted out. Then I had to drive an expensive German car somewhere, but I couldn't quite drive it properly since it was a stick shift and my legs were too long. Then I ran into a pig. It was a messed up dream.

Anyway, I had more I wanted to do to junkmachine.com, but the server appears to be down. That's fun.

Every time I

2002-04-10T17:00:00-07:00

Every time I feel like updating this stupid thing, LJ is all slow and retarded. Anyway.

I went to take care of Jack with my dad last night, and the little bugger wouldn't stop puking all over the place. It was really gross. I'll feed him, but I refuse to burb him. So last night I was feeding him and gave him to my dad to do the burping. My dad wouldn't stop talking about how Jack doesn't burp up anything, he just burps. So, he demonstrated. Jack burped, but there was no vomit. Then my dad was making fun of me for not wanting to do it, and 5 seconds later his whole right side was covered in baby vomit. I thought that was funny.

My sister gave me a gift certificate to Papa John's and to Kohl's for painting her nursery for her. So, today I went and picked up some new pants, which I have needed for a long time. I looked at some apartments, and bought some T-shirts and transfer paper for this other project I'm working on. I was going to stop by a friend of my dad's place and hopefully get some work, but now it's around lunchtime, so I'll go around 2 or so.

It's like 75 here and I can't put the top down on my Jeep. My back door is all messed up from that guy running into it, and the back window slides into the door. So, since I can't open the door, I can't take out the back window. And since I can't take out the back window, I can't put the top down. I'm really disappointed.

So I was

2002-04-11T17:00:00-07:00

So, I was emailing this guy who gives me a lot of work, and he was giving me pointers on how to promote my loser of a website that was supposed to be making me mad cash by now. Anyway, it led into a conversation about how little money I have, and my recent horribly bad luck streak with my financial situation. So, long story short, the guy fronts me a significant amount of money to keep me fed while I pay off my debt. I couldn't believe it. He's like a saint.

Tonight Fabish and I were going to hit Gormans, but on the way were stopping by a house party to pick up a few people. We ended up just staying there for an hour or 2, and I talked to a couple tech geeks like myself about speakers and amplifiers and car engines. It was nice... I haven't really had one of those conversations since I left Iona.

It was also the first house party I had been to in a good long while that wasn't hosted by yours truly. I felt kind of old since most of them were under age.

We came back and Amy and Myra came over to watch a movie. We watched Lost Boys, and I sent a bitter email to a stupid girl who smells bad, and now here I am. I'm about to head out to Steak 'n Shake to meet Mr. Bryan J. Polk. It's been a really active social day for me after a long streak of nothingness.

This weekend will also be busy. I'm going to visit Jaimee, and I also have to hit my parent's house tomorrow for din din with my Aunt whose here from Kansas. Jaimee's on Saturday, and on Sunday I'm headed to Woodhull for my grandpa's birthday thing. I'm not looking forward to that last one, but I'll survive.

I was walking

2002-04-12T17:00:00-07:00

I was walking Abby yesterday when I ran into Brandt, who I used to work with at Iona. He was a victim of the latest layoffs there. I took the oppurtunity to ask him some things that had been bothering me since I left.

First off, how many people are left at the company. When I started, I was the 53rd employee they had. They're now down to 23. That's a significant drop considering it happened in less than 2 years.

Second, the thing with Rob being fired and blaming me. It made me feel a bit better.

And third, the thing I had heard about a possible name change for Iona. Apparently they dropped a huge, huge chuck of change on this new promotion idea. They turned "IONA" into blocks, so like the "I" was a rectangle, the "O" was a circle, and so on. They planned on sending these to clients so they could kind of play with the blocks and such. Apparently it set them back a bunch of money. Then, as they were about to send out all this stuff, someone asked if "Iona" was trademarked. They rushed to trademark their name, but found out that someone beat them to it. So, they're going to have to change their name again. They just changed it to Iona not more than 4 years ago. And all the money they put into the promotion stuff is just gone. Unless they change their name to OINA or something.

Anyway, it's a shame. I appreciate that they gave me my first real job using my degree in such, but the management there are a bunch of retards. Their current financial situation is their own fault.

I forgot to

2002-04-16T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to mention that the new place has a swimming pool, community grills, and garages. And did I mention 2 balconies?

I got my

2002-04-16T17:00:00-07:00

I got my new apartment. How exciting. No more of this looking around nonsense, calling people, vising the leasing offices. I have it secured. Plus it's a corner apartment, overlooking a courtyard and a playground. Plus she told me the rent would be $575, but they're going to put me in an apartment with older cabinets and an older dishwasher and give it to me for $525 with 2 months free rent. Awesome. It feels good to have this stuff worked out.

The bad part is that the apartment won't be available until June 1st, which means I have 10 days in between moving out of here and moving into there. I'll probably spend those days at several different places between Jaimee's (if she'll have me), my parent's (if they'll have me), and my sister's (if she'll have me).

I'll have 2 balconies. For fun, let's go though the other crappy apartments I've lived in and compare it to this new one.

I moved out of my parent's place at age 18, up to Chicago. I shared a shitty 1 bedroom apartment with the worst roommate ever, Jon. The counter was falling apart, the whole building stank like shit, and I witnessed a murder outside of my window one night. If that wasn't enough, a drug dealer got killed in my lobby while I was living there, so for the following 6 months I had to walk by an armed guard to get to my apartment.

After that, I moved to a much better apartment in a much better area of Chicago. I lived alone, but it was a studio apartment. A very small studio apartment. The Mexicans next door smoked a lot of pot, the building didn't have AC or good heat, and I had a wonderful view of an alley with really rank trash cans in it.

Then I moved into my current apartment about a year and a half ago. I've dealt with stink, no AC, bats, mice, bugs, crazy ladies, and of course, the drug dealers across the street. Amenities... not many. We have a soda machine and a laundry room, but that's about it.

This new place is in a really good part of town, and has balconies. 2 of them. I've never had a balcony. I've also never had a good view, or a parking lot that didn't suck ass, or a dishwasher, or a garbage disposal. Well, I had them in my parent's, but not on my own. Plus they take pets for just $10/month extra. How exciting.

I've had a

2002-04-16T17:00:00-07:00

I've had a good couple of days. On Saturday I got some work done during the day, then headed up to DeKalb to visit Jaimee. We had a good night, and I had chicken fingers from Chili's. Mmm mmm good.

Sunday I had to leave sort of early to drive down to Galesburg for my grandpa's birthday thing. It was the typical family gathering for that side of the family. They talked a lot about tractors and farms, and me, Sarah, and Robert just sat there.

I had left my cell phone at Jaimee accidently (or maybe not), so, since she's such a nice girl, she drove down to give it back to me on Monday. We saw Frailty, which was okay at best. The coolest part was that they showed a Jason X trailer before the real movie. That movie looks so awesome.

I've also been hunting around for a new apartment. I hate hunting for apartments. I've visited a couple of them, nice ones, and I think I have it pretty much decided which one I'll be taking. The bad part is that the building won't be ready until June 1st, and I have to be out of my current apartment by May 20th. So, that leaves me 10 homeless days. We'll see what we can work out.

It's been a

2002-04-17T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a productive day. I went out to put my downpayment down on my new apartment. Unfortunately, it does not have 2 balconies. I also drove by the building last night and noticed that, since my apartment is on the top floor, it may have cathedral ceilings. Unfortunately, it doesn't. She did let me see the actual apartment, however, which was rough. They had ripped off all the walls and were installing new drywall.

I also finished up these t-shirts I was doing for a client, which I haven't been motivated to do lately. Now I'm going to do a bit more work, and hopefully get around to updating junkmachine with the SexSexWorld stuff, just for you, Polk.

Oh another thing

2002-04-17T17:00:00-07:00

Oh, another thing I wanted to mention.

We're fast approaching the 3rd anniversary of the death of Jill Zarr, who was a good friend of mine in high school and through my first year of college. She died in a horrible car accident during my second year of college. Anyway, shortly after her death, I had a few dreams about her coming back and warning me of things, or assuring me that she was okay and happy where she was. But after a month or 2, the dreams stopped.

But, I had one again last night. It was the weirdest of the bunch. It involved Jill having a crush on me while she was alive, and her warning me about the end of the world that was coming soon. The weirdest part was that she wasn't visiting me as an angel or a ghost or anything, but as a real person. Once I finally got around to asking her how she came back to life, she told me all my questions would be answered once the world ended, which at that point, was in a matter of hours. Things started flooding and catching on fire, and generally falling apart. Me, Jill, and a few close friends of mine avoided it for as long as we could, and at that point I woke up. Weird dream. I really hope she visits them more often.

Fuckin' A

2002-04-18T17:00:00-07:00

So, I applied for that job as a comic book artist but didn't think I really stood a chance. They were looking for someone with an "Anime" style, like Ninja Scroll or Akira. While I'm a big fan of these movies, I've never really even tried to draw how these cartoons looked. But, regardless, I applied for the job.

He came back saying my style wasn't what he was looking for. I told him I could adapt. He asked me for a sample drawn in Ninja Scroll style. So, I drew up a couple of samples and emailed them to him. Today I got an email asking me my rates and availabilty information. Fucking awesome.

Sure, there's still not a 100% chance I have the job, but I think (hope) my chances are pretty good. The only bad part... the guy in charge is foreign and speaks in broken English. Sure, not nearly as bad as that fuckface fucker Chua Hong, but it still brings back bad memories. Will I still do the comic? Fuck yes. In his original ad, he promised a year of steady work. DRAWING. A year of me drawing for a living. Can you believe it? It's totally worth the risk.

I should really try to not get my hopes up, but I just can't help it. I really want this job.

Praise the Lord.

2002-04-18T17:00:00-07:00

Praise the Lord. Today I got my second payment for the mosquito CD-ROM, which was couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I immediately deposited the check, then came back here and made some payments on my credit cards. Good bye, half of my credit card debt. That's right. Half of my debt is paid off. I just have to keep living like a poor, poor bastard for a few more weeks, and I will be out of debt.

With my WAP project chugging along, slow but steady, and the possible comic book job, it seems like everything's coming up Wasson. If I actually get that comic book job... well... I don't know. Something. Something good. Something good will happen.

To prepare, today I went and treated myself to a $20 gift at Dick Blick. New art supplies. I kind of convinced myself that I could use them on the comic book job, even though I don't technically have it yet.

I've been sleeping

2002-04-20T17:00:00-07:00

I've been sleeping entirely too much lately. I don't know why, but it's been like 12 or 13 hours a night. It's kind of disturbing. I've decided to try and break that trend, starting tonight, when I'll go to bed late and wake up early. Eventually I'll get used to it, right?

It's been an uneventful few days. I've been trying to hunt down some Goldfinger/Sum 41 tickets (Sum 41 headlining... what the shit is that about?) and I've practiced drawing like an Asian man. I picked up some Anime/Manga books and have been slowly cycling through my old Anime movies, trying to pick up on the differences between Asian characters and Western characters. I haven't heard back about the comic book job, but my hopes couldn't be higher now. That's too bad. I was trying to prevent that in case of a disappointment.

I used to love Anime and watch anything Anime I could find. One of these was a movie called Robot Carnival. If the opening sequence of that movie doesn't give you chills, then you have no soul. My tape is old and worn out from having watched it so much. I really hope I get that comic book job. I'd love to be able to draw like them.

I bought a

2002-04-22T17:00:00-07:00

I bought a stupid toy. I'm so lame. I've been so good for months now, eating out less than usual, buying virtually no DVDs, and basically only the essentials for about 3 months now. But last night, I found a good deal on this awesome digital camera/digital camcorder/MP3 player/voice recorder, and I had to buy it. Here's what it looks like.

Not much else to report. Going up on Friday to see Jason X with Jaimee and Wolford and possibly Toni. I'm ridiculously excited about that stupid movie.

Where's my damn toy?

2002-04-23T17:00:00-07:00

I want my toy, but he hasn't shipped it yet. I want it now.

I bought Behind Enemy Lines and The Man Who Wasn't There last night, because I'm lame and can't help myself from buying toys and worthless stuff. I've resisted for so long, but I'm not giving in.

Behind Enemy Lines has the sweetest chase scene in the world with the fighter plane and the missiles chasing it. The Man Who Wasn't There is just freaking amazing in every sense of the word. Of course, it's a Coen Brothers movie, so its to be expected.

My parents are coming to take me to dinner soon. I'm hungry. So far today I've eaten a banana and a fish stick.

This has been a lame entry.

There is justice in this world sometimes.

2002-04-24T17:00:00-07:00

So, that fuckstick who ripped me off with that webpage deal... he went to PayPal and actually got his down payment refunded. I couldn't believe it. I was 100% right, and somehow he won the war without me even putting in my two cents.

Today I got around to calling PayPal to bitch, since they hadn't responded to the emails and disputes I had sent. After being put on hold and transferred around a lot, I got to talk to someone who finally heard me out. He told me that PayPal didn't refund money like that, and I must be mistaken. I read him the email they had sent and told him why they were wrong, and I was right. After hearing my side, he said to me "Hang on, I'm going to talk to my supervisor". After about 30 seconds he came back saying "Yeah, you should have won that dispute. We're reversing the refund and giving you back the original down payment. We'll be in touch if we have any more questions for you". Awesome. Fuck you, Mr. Hong, you fucking piece of shit.

In other news, me, Wolford, and Jaimee are seeing Jason X tomorrow, quite possibly at a theater in Crystal Lake. How sweet would that be? (hint: super sweet, baby)

Jason X was so cool.

2002-04-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, after congratulating myself on a job well done with the PayPal incident as well as a meeting for more work that went surprisingly well, I headed up to DeKalb to visit Jaimee and Wolford and see Jason X.

Jason X was everything I'd hoped it would be. It was so awesome. I can't say that I was too fond of the sci-fi elements they threw in, as well as the similiarity to Aliens, but it was still just a hard core slasher flick at heart, which I love. I doubt many people will share my opinion about the movie, so I guess I'll stop my little review there.

I had to leave early this morning because Jaimee had to work. On my way home, I was on a 2 lane highway, going way too fast. A semi was coming at me in the other lane, and as he passed, he kicked up a pebble into my windshield. I was going about 75, so I assume this pebble was going at least 100 mph. That's pretty fast. It was headed right towards my face, and it scared the living shit out of me. I thought I was going to die. Fortunately, it didn't break my windshield or kill me, although it did make a ridiculously loud "pop" and put a huge crack in my windshield, right in the middle of where I need to look out to drive safely. So, I guess my $200 PayPal victory will be going towards a new windshield for my car. Damn it.

I finally got

2002-04-29T17:00:00-07:00

I finally got my awesome camera thing. You can see pictures I took with it here.

It's been a productive few days. I got a new job here in town which starts soon. I also got Joy's message board working on the junkmachine servers. And, if that wasn't enough, put a conspiracy page up on junkmachine. Plus I'm working on a new cartoon.

My mom's birthday is today, so yesterday me and my sister went out to buy her presents. It's odd how little time my sister and I spend together considering how close we live. We just don't have a lot in common, and our family isn't very close anyway.

Today I wrote up some contracts and delivered them and got a down payment on a job I've got lined up. I also ate at McDonalds, which I haven't done in a long time.

In 3 weeks, I will be homeless for 10 days. I'm kind of looking forward to it in a weird way.

I've done just

2002-04-30T17:00:00-07:00

I've done just about everything I know how to avoid doing work today. I worked on junkmachine stuff, watched some TV, took Abby on a walk, paid some bills, and set up an appointment to get my windshield fixed.

Now I'm out of stuff to do. Luckily it's almost 6, which means it's time for Just Shoot Me. Then I can make some dinner. Then Junkyard Wars. By 9, I may be ready for a few hours of real work.

junkmachine community

2002-04-30T17:00:00-07:00

I made a junkmachine.com community, because I'm cool like that. Everyone reading this should go join it, so that when I start promoting it, it won't look lame with just 1 member and no posts and such. Get to the community here.

Good-bye debt, hello DVDs.

2002-05-02T17:00:00-07:00

I finished up and mailed off that big mosquito CD-ROM job today, which puts the final $1500 into my pocket. Or, rather, it puts the final $1500 into Mastercard's pocket. Also, I got the second payment for another job, so I'm almost back in the green. My credit card debt piqued at just shy of $4000, plus another $1000 I still owed to a developper. Now, 4 months later, my only debt is $650 divided between 2 credit cards. I should be able to pay it off just before I move out on my own, so the bills can start stacking up once again.

Tonight I'm headed over to John Zarr's house to visit with him, Brian Kelly, Scott Reyling, and Scott Olsson. I love those guys, but don't get to see them nearly enough.

I got my windshield fixed yesterday. Sort of. It's a ton better than it was, but it's still really, really obvious that there was a rock in it. It's right in my line of sight, so it's a bit distracting. Fucking semis. Someday my debt will be gone, and I'll have extra money, and I'll be able to afford a new windshield. I can't wait.

So on Friday

2002-05-05T17:00:00-07:00

So, on Friday me and went to Kouri's Pub, which was a first for both of us. Hopefully we'll make this a tradition for every Friday. After I dropped him off, I went to John Zarr's place to hang out with the old high school crowd. The whole crowd was there... me, Scott Reyling, Scott Olsson, Steve Tendy, Brian Kelly, John Zarr, and Jeremy Johnson even stopped by. The only person missing was John's sister, Jill. We had a moment of silence for her before beginning the festivities, which was very touching for me, at least.

On Saturday I haded up to see in DeKalb. We walked along the river in Naperville, and ate at Chili's with Jaysa and Mike. After I got home, I went out to my parent's house for dinner with my sister, Robert, Jack, and my parents. I missed The Simpsons. I didn't do anything else last night.

I don't have a lot to do today, either. Maybe I'll start packing. 2 weeks left and counting until my homeless days.

new toys

2002-05-06T17:00:00-07:00

So, I sent the final mosquito CD away on Friday and have been anxiously awaiting the final check for more than 1 reason. 1. It eliminates the credit card debt that has been ruining my life for the last 6 months or so, and 2. it gives me a few hundred extra bucks to save for the slow months at my new place.

Well, the mosquito thing came back to me today. They love the final product but want 1 more change. The change is so ridiculously minor and unnoticeable. Basically they want something that's a dark red to be slightly brighter. It's a stupid change, really, since they had 3 revisions to catch it and have me change it, I don't feel an obligation to fix it for free. So I told her it would cost $200 for the change. The change only took like 15 seconds, but then I had to burn a new CD and ship it. Anyway, I expected them to say that the change wasn't worth the money and they'd just send me the check. To my surprise, they approved the $200 change. So, 10 minutes later, I've got that much extra in my pocket. I'm very pleased.

So, I went into Best Buy to look at getting a new DVD player since mine is on the fritz. The one I wanted had a $30 instant rebate, but was sold out. I asked for a rain check, but they told me I couldn't get one that included the rebate. I was a bit pissed, since they didn't give me a good reason for that at all. But whatever.

So I went back into the computer section, as is the standard now, to look for some merchandise. See, 6 months ago when I bought Windows XP, Best Buy was running a promotion where they gave you a free router, free MP3 player, free RAM, and a free CD when you purchased it. Well, they were all out of those things, so they gave me a rain check for them. Every time I went to Best Buy since I looked to see if they had the stuff in, and they never did. Sometimes they would have 1 or 2 things, but they said I had to redeem them all at once. Today, however, they had all 3, so I tried to redeem them. Basically they just flat out told me that the rain checks were unredeemable. When I told them that was false advertising, he sent me to the manager who was a fucking dick to me. I was even more pissed off. I've spent thousands of dollars at that store on DVDs alone. Nuts to you, Best Buy. Nuts to you. I'll get my DVD player from Circuit City.

My new dog

2002-05-07T17:00:00-07:00

I adopted a new dog today. It's awesome. It's a shepard/chow mix, a female, and ridiculously cute. It's a bit over the 25lb. guideline my apartment set, but hopefully they won't notice or care.

It gets fixed tomorrow and I pick her up on Friday. Any suggestions for names?

An uneventful few days, I guess.

2002-05-11T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, well, on Friday I picked up my dog. I was hoping that she'd be housebroken, but no such luck. Although she's catching on fairly quickly, which makes me think (and hope) that she's been housebroken before, but has simply forgotten.

Abby and her don't get along at all. It's a shame. I've decided to name her Winston, since I really like that name. I know it's a boy's name, but I don't care. Winston it is. Winnie for short (which is a girl's name. it all evens out, see).

here's some pictures of her.

My newest money making project is up and running (mostly, except for the mailing list), and can be seen here. Lame, I know, but not bad for a night's work. Hopefully it will bring in some dough.

Fabish and I are trying to take advantage of our last few days in the apartment together. We've had drinky drinks a few nights in a row and have gone out to lunch almost every day. I'll miss living with the chap. Less than a week from now, we won't be roommates anymore. Sad but true.

Last night I had drinky drinks with at Kouri's Pub. Next week we'll eat there, and it will be free for me. And I saw Mr. Conley bartending. I love that guy.

That's about it on my end. I'm tired now.

There's less than

2002-05-14T17:00:00-07:00

There's less than a week left at my current apartment, which makes me a bit sad. I've spent the last few days packing and packing and packing some more. I've also thrown out a bunch of stuff. Lots. About 5 garbage bags full of junk that I don't even remember having or needing. While some of you who have seen my collection of junk will think that 5 bags isn't enough, I like to think it's an accomplishment. I'm one of those pack rat types who saves everything. I convince myself that when I throw something away, I'll need it the next day.

So, I'm basically packed up and prepared for the move on Friday and Saturday. It won't be fun, but I'll manage. Then I'll be homeless for 10 days before settling in my new place.

So all my

2002-05-16T17:00:00-07:00

So, all my stuff is packed into boxes, with the exception of my dishes. Everything is scattered throughout my living room, waiting to be packed into a truck and moved across town.

I'll be sleeping here tonight, then tomorrow will move everything I own from my apartment into my new apartment's garage as I wait for my new apartment to be finished up. Starting Saturday night, I'll be homeless. Sunday we're finishing the cleaning process to the old apartment, and on Monday the new tenants move in.

Then, for close to 2 weeks, I'll be moving from place to place, sleeping on couches and other fun stuff. June 1st is the big day. I move into an apartment with a dishwasher.

Not a lot else going on. I saw Spider-Man with my dad and Robert last night. Today I went out to eat with Polk, as to not abandon our Friday ritual. Tonight Wolford will be in town, so I'll take a break from packing and moving to eat dinner with him, hopefully. Those will be the only breaks I've taken from packing in quite some time.

I can't wait to be settled into my new apartment. 2 weeks from tomorrow, I will be. Yee haw.

What a long fucking day.

2002-05-18T17:00:00-07:00

I had 4 or 5 people volunteer to help me move out, but today when I called them, they either weren't there or found an excuse to back out. So, I loaded and carried 3 truck loads of stuff to my new apartment's garage, and a few more to my parent's house. I took a break to attend a graduation party for Fabish, Kelly Fabish, Pam Fabish, and a few others who are graduating with different degrees.

Then it was back to moving. I moved everything I could have ever hoped to move by myself, and since I could see no help on the way, decided to try and move some of the bigger stuff. By myself, I got my couch and loveseat out the door and up the porch steps. Thank God that Alan got home just as I was about to try and load them into the truck. He helped me out with my couches, my TV, and my Donkey Kong arcade game. I helped him out with a few larger things he had. It was awesome to finally get a little help, since up to this point, I had done every single thing myself.

I had planned on getting everything out of the apartment, but the moving today went way slower than it should have on account of no one helping me do anything. So now I'm left with 1 more load, including my bed and computer. I moved from 9am to 12:30 am, and I just got finished steam-cleaning the living room. It's been a big day and I'm ready to go to bed.

Tomorrow begins my homeless period, I guess. I can't wait to just get settled into my new place.

Homeless, Day 1

2002-05-19T17:00:00-07:00

I'm completely homeless now. My dad and I took the 1 huge load back to my parent's house, and some to the garage I have for the next 2 weeks or so. Fabish and I spent roughly 2,000 hours cleaning and cleaning and cleaning some more. I feel sorry for anyone who steam cleans for a living. What a horrible job.

So, as we were leaving, Fabish and I shook hands. I said "Well, it's been fun." He replied "For you, maybe. You didn't have to live with you." I thought it was a fitting end. One of us says something mostly sincere, and the other makes fun of him for it. That's how we've been since we were kids.

It was really sad leaving the place. I didn't think it would be. I've had a lot of good times there. I've been through a lot living there. Lots of good times, and some bad. Fabish and I became even better friends than we were before, which I didn't think was possible. It was the first place that I lived in for more than a year since I was 18. I'm really gonna miss the joint.

If nothing else, it's another chapter finished. I'm getting older. I'm moving out of the college area. I'm getting an apartment where I can't have keggers every week. I have to be quieter and more responsible. It's hard to put into words I guess.

Anyway, I'm extremely tired and sore. my knuckles are all scraped up, and my joints are all sore. I'm ridiculously tired. And that was my day. Tonight I sleep on my parent's futon. Fun stuff.

Homeless, Day 2

2002-05-19T17:00:00-07:00

I slept for about 13 hours straight last night, which was excellent. I feel much better today.

My parent's shower is probably the most excellent thing in the world. It's very high pressure, and there's always hot water. And the shower head is high enough that I can put my whole head under it without bending into a weird shape.

The futon is slightly less comfortable. I have to sleep diagonally to fit correctly. It will work for 2 weeks, I guess.

Homeless, Day 3.

2002-05-20T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday I woke up bright and early to take care of stuff I hadn't quite taken care of. This included cutting off my energy, cable, internet, and phone at my old apartment. I finished all that up around noon and headed up to DeKalb to see Jaimee. I brought along my retarded dog.

Now Jaimee is at work and I'm alone in her apartment. I made the trek to find Goldfinger's new album, which is excellent. I've drawn some drawrings and I'm getting ready to watch some TV. It's a fun time. I don't really have any big plans for the remaining 10 homeless days ahead of me. I just really want to get moved into my new place.

Homeless, Day 4

2002-05-21T17:00:00-07:00

These days have gone relatively quickly for the most part. Today Jaimee and I went out to a lazy man's picnic with Winnie, then out for ice cream. I left around 4, and have been doing basically nothing since I got back to my parent's house. It sucks, since they've gotten a satellite dish since I moved out and only have it on one TV. That leaves me very bored most of the time.

I've been in a creative slump lately. Tonight I think I'm going to go through my old sketch books and half-drawn comics I did in high school and younger and see if that sparks some of that good old creativity.

Tomorrow I have to go in to the post office and fill out a change of address form, but other than that I have no big plans. I may start the resume renovation/sending out process. I hate that.

Homeless, Day 5

2002-05-22T17:00:00-07:00

AKA - Goodbye, credit card debt.

Well, not quite goodbye, I guess. But close, and that's what matters. I'm down to about $400, but keep buying stupid stuff I shouldn't be buying. I can justify the purchases now since I'm so close to being debt free, but I should still cut back a bit.

Today I bought Winnie a new leash, bought myself a new toothbrush, and finally made my way to the post office to fill out the change of address forms. I also stopped by my new apartment building to introduce my dog to the necessary people and make sure I was still on track to move in on June 1st.

I found my Berni Wrightson book while searching through all my old junk last night. I'd missed that book.

Homeless, Day 6

2002-05-23T17:00:00-07:00

So, I spent most of yesterday looking for new jobs on the internet. I ran into some really, really cool ones, but I've decided to not discuss potential jobs until I know I have them. That just gets my hopes up. Then people ask "Whatever happened with that sweet ass job such and such?", and I have to reply "Yeah, I didn't get it. Thanks for mentioning it."

Anyway, so I applied for 6 or 7 I really want. I got a response today from one of them saying if I want the job, it's mine.

But here's the thing the original job posting didn't make clear. First, I think they accept any and all artists who apply for them. They pay the good ones a lot and the bad ones not much. I looked at some of the other artists work, and without tooting my horn too much, I'm totally better than most of them.

The second thing the original job posting didn't make clear was the subject matter I'd be illustrating. Well, brace yourself. It's erotic BDSM stuff. It's pretty messed up. While I have drawn, and love drawing, nude figures, the sort of things they have on their site are... well... a bit much.

They do allow pseudonyms, which is nice, so my name won't be attached to the drawings. And it would be awesome to make some extra, consistent money. But is it really worth selling my soul to the devil just to pay my cable bill? I have a few days to decide if I really want to spend my time doing these drawings. I never thought it would be a tough decision... draw for money or not? It's harder than I thought.

Tonight is 's birthday. Dinner and beer at Kouri's Pub, followed by.... something. Not sure what.

Homeless, Day 7

2002-05-24T17:00:00-07:00

Seven days down, seven to go until I move into my new pad.

Last night was the traditional Friday night dinner at Kouri's Pub where I finally got to meet the infamous Jim Kerr. For the second time. It was good times. Afterwards we headed to Polk's place for more drinky drinks. When it was time to head downtown, I said my goodbyes and went home. I shouldn't be spending my money on Big Al's when I'll be having all these moving expenses coming up soon. Plus I was tired since I haven't been sleeping well on my parent's futon.

Today I have no big plans. What a life.

Homeless, Day 8

2002-05-25T17:00:00-07:00

So, I spent the majority of the day yesterday painting my old bedroom/my dad's old office since my parents are turning it into a spare bedroom. After finishing, my mom decided she didn't like the color, so today I'm probably going to end up repainting it. Fun stuff.

Not a whole lot else to report. I'm bored most of the time.

In other news, I have decided to take that pornographic drawing job, for several reasons.

They want me to tell a story. That's right, kiddies, I'll be doing a comic book. Sure, it will be chalk full of disgusting stuff, but it'll be a comic book. Once again, I am a paid comic book artist. I haven't been paid for comic art since I was 16.
Everyone hates their job. Now, so do I. There's always part of a job you like, and part you hate. At Kinko's, I loved working the machines but hated dealing with the customers. Now, I love to draw but hate the subject matter. Ain't no thing.
Pay my dues. All artists take jobs they don't want just to put food on the table and keep drawing. Now I'm one of them. Hopefully this crap job will earn me some recognition and ability to do less crap jobs. That's the plan, anyway.
Maybe someone will see it? Maybe? Someone important? The site will get me good exposure, even with a fake name. Maybe someone important will see it and want more, less pornographic drawings from me.
I really need the cash. My dad won't be able to help me out as much as he hoped he would since my mom will soon be out of work. I need to pay rent and car payments. This is a good way to do it.

My morals are saying no, but everything else is saying yes. The only really shitty part of the work is the embarrasment attached to it. No, I don't plan on telling my parents where the money is coming from. No, I will never show anyone the drawings I do.

So, there it is. I think I'm going to start drawing tonight and will send the people in charge some samples once I get my new apartment set up.

Homeless, Day 9

2002-05-26T17:00:00-07:00

Nothing much to report today. Yesterday, as expected, I finished up repainting the spare bedroom. Today I went to Circuit City because my dad wanted more RAM in his computer.

Later today my grandpa, uncle, step-aunt, sister, brother in law, and nephew are coming for a cook out. It looks like it's going to rain.

Homeless, Day 10

2002-05-27T17:00:00-07:00

Still homeless, but keepin' on keepin' on.

Today I have work to do for my dad's webpage and I'm going online to look for more work. Today I've already made a trip to Dick Blick to pick up some art supplies for my porno comics.

Just 4 more homeless days until I move into my new place. I can't wait.

Homeless, Day 11

2002-05-28T17:00:00-07:00

So, it's Wednesday and I move into my new place on Saturday. 3 days and counting.

I finally got a response from my Best Buy complaint. They told me to talk to the manager of the Peoria store, which I've already done. Slackers. I complained again telling them no, so we'll see what happens.

I called to set up an appointment to have my cable internet installed, which turns out it will take way longer than I expected. Such is life, I guess. So, my dad got me a free modem from somewhere and I'll use one of those free AOL deals or something for the week that I'll be cable-internet-less.

Here's a weird thing. I called my new apartment to see if everything was all set to move in on Saturday, and she told me sure, but not until 1:00. I said I would prefer to start before then, but she told me the apartment won't be ready before 1:00 on Saturday. I thought it was a bit strange, but whatever's clever, I guess.

My journal is boring.

Homeless, Day 12

2002-05-29T17:00:00-07:00

Being homeless was fun for a while, but it's getting boring now.

I sent in my first porno pictures. Apparently the lady I've been dealing with is sort of like a secretary, and her job is to review candidates, ask for samples, and weed out the bad artists. I've made it through her screening process and my samples have been sent to the guy in charge. Now I just have to wait for his reply and we can start talking money. Speaking of money, I really need some right now.

I move into my new place the day after tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to find new and interesting things to do with my day. I'm coming up short most of the time and basically have been drawing a lot and watching a lot of TV.

Tomorrow I get to pack up all my belongings (again), and get ready for the big move on Saturday. Also, that's family picture day.

Homeless, Day 13

2002-05-30T17:00:00-07:00

AKA- FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK.

So, I spent my day doing laundry and packing up for the big move tomorrow. Everything I took to my parent's house is boxed up and sitting in front of the door, ready to be loaded into my dad's truck when he gets home and taken to my new apartment tomorrow.

I had just finished and settled in to watch some TV when I get a phone call from my new apartment building. Apparently they waited until the last second to get Peoria officials in to certify the building, and therefore aren't going to be certified or let people start moving in until Monday night at the earliest, but probably more like Tuesday.

This not only sucks because 13 homeless days is way too much, but also because 1. Robert could actually help me move in on Saturday, 2. Jaimee was coming down to see my new place, 3. I want to get the hell out of my parent's basement for God's sake. Plus, who can help me move in on a Tuesday during the day? No one. That's who.

Every time I move into a new apartment, all this weird stupid shit happens, I swear to God. My last apartment left me stranded in my parent's basement for about 2 months over deadline. My Chicago apartment left me without a refridgerator or oven for a month.

Fuck. I was so looking forward to moving in.

Tonight is beer and wings at Kouri's. I hope.

Homeless, Day 14

2002-06-01T17:00:00-07:00

So, I just typed a big huge thing that I decided to delete. The basic gyst of the entry was this: fuck. Fuck it all. It should matter less than it does.

Anyway, today I got my picture taken with my family. That was a lot of fun. Pictures of the whole group, followed by a picture of my parents, then a picture of Sarah, Robert, and Jack. To top it all off, a picture of me, all by myself. Sweet. I can't tell you how cool I felt. After that we all went out to breakfast. I shared a table with Jack. I realized this morning that 4.5 month old babies aren't good conversationalists.

Winnie puked on my foot today, too. It's been an awesome day all around. I'm waiting for something good to happen today, but with only 25 minutes to go, I don't see it happening.

I should have been all moved into my new place.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

2002-06-03T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so today is my last homeless day. The word is that I move into my new place tonight at 5. Sign my lease, move on in, and spend the night tonight. I'm pretty excited, but pissed off because I was supposed to move in this morning when the weather was nice and the skies were clear. Instead I was put off for a few more hours until 5, when it will surely be raining like a mother, making me unable to move anything that I don't want to be soaked.

Or maybe I'm being pessimistic, and the rain will have cleared up by 5. We'll see.

Homeless, Day 15, 16, and 17

2002-06-03T17:00:00-07:00

Homeless Day 15 I went up to visit Jaimee. We met up with Wolford and went bowling, which I hadn't done in a long time. I came in #2 every round. Right where I like to be. I left early on Homeless Day 16 to head back to Peoria and get prepared to move on Homeless Day 17, which is today.

I called up my apartment complex early this morning, and she told me I needed to call back around 2 for a definite yes or no. So, now I have 4 hours to kill until I may or may not move into my new pad.

I've been so ridiculously busy the last few days, and it sucks. All I want to do is move into my now place and watch TV or something.

Home, sweet home.

2002-06-04T17:00:00-07:00

AKA - There's no place like home.
AKA - Home is where you hang your hat.
AKA - Hi Honey, I'm home.

I'm moved in, boys and girls. The rain didn't clear up until around 7:30 or 8, but that didn't slow me down much. I called Robert to give me a hand with the heavy junk, but he was working tons of overtime at his job. He got away for an hour or so to help me with my TV and couches.

My TV was easier to move than I expected, but it still totally messed up my back. See, it's a huge TV (53") and weighs a ton (actually, 215 lbs.). You also can't tip it more than 45 degrees or it gets the guns all out of wack, so I had to stand all best over, holding a huge heavy TV while going backwards up a flight of stairs. It didn't hurt at the time, but it's freaking killing me now.

I was looking forward to relaxing in a nice hot bath, but there's no hot water.

My rooms aren't set up, and my stuff isn't all unpacked or even completely moved in yet, but I'm proud of the progress so far.

In other good news: My phone was actually all set up and ready to go. I didn't expect that. Also, when I got my phone hooked up, they offered me an awesome deal on DSL, so I'm making the switch from cable to DSL for way cheaper. Since my first month's rent is free, they're prorating my July rent since they were 5 days late in moving me in. Cheap rent is a good thing. Jaimee is coming to visit me on Sunday.

All good news. Now I need to see if I can get a satellite hooked up. That would be sweet, baby, sweet.

I forgot to

2002-06-05T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to tell a very important story.

So, I was moving and unpacking all day yesterday, and as I was carrying a speaker from one side of the room to the other, I started feeling really light headed and woozy. I decided to sit down for a minute, since I may die or something soon. While sitting there, I realized that I hadn't really eaten anything in like 36 hours because I had been so busy and simply forgot. I had a couple bowls of cereal and was back in action. Whoda thunk that me, of all people, would forget to eat?

I love my new apartment.

2002-06-05T17:00:00-07:00

I took my first shower in my new place today, since yesterday there was no hot water. All I have to say is HOLY CRAP. I thought my parent's shower was high pressure, but it ain't got nothin' on this new one.

Still unpacking and getting this place set up. I got a satellite yesterday, but I'm retarded and have no idea how to set it up. My dad is coming over tonight with a level and a protracter to help me get the job done right. I'm pretty confident that I can get the rest of my crap unloaded if I just keep at it all day.

So I have

2002-06-06T17:00:00-07:00

So, I have this ecommerce site. It's a failed project. While I haven't completely given up on it, I've accepted the fact that I will never make back my initial investment, and the page will never take off and do well. The site cost me about $5,000 to set up, plus close to 100 hours working on it. So far, it's made $17.

In an effort to not give up on my dream of making a website to make me money, I threw together http://www.freegreenstuff.com in about 20 minutes and spent about $100 promoting it. I now have about 30 referrals and about 120 secondary referrals. That means that if they use the service for an hour a day, I get about $300/month. Not too shabby, eh? Strange how that works out sometimes.

holy freaking crap.

2002-06-10T17:00:00-07:00

So, in honor of me finally posting new content on junkmachine, I finally decided to start the too damn fat project. I went jogging just now for like a half hour or so, and was reminded as to why i didn't ever start exercising regularly. holy crap. i imagine by the end of the week, i'll have an easier time with it than i just did, but holy crap. i am really, really out of shape.

Anyway, Jaimee came down to visit and see my new apartment this weekend. It was a fun trip. We played in the field near my place with Winnie, tried to have a cook out, drank some of those new malt liquors, watched some scary movies, etc. It was good times.

Today I was supposed to get my cable internet installed. For reasons beyond my control, I wasn't able to get that done. My hope now is that the DSL will come through and I'll have fast internet that way. My satellite gets installed tomorrow, so I'll have some entertainment for the first time in a while.

Winnie is getting worse and worse when I let her off her leash. The last time I did it (about an hour ago), she ran across the street and almost got run over. Well, sort of. The car that would have hit her was really smart, and when she saw Winnie run across the street like a jack ass, she stopped and waited there for me to grab her before going on. Smart move, because Winnie is retarded and would have almost certainly ran under the car just to get away from me, as she does when she's in trouble. I really have to get her one of those shock collars. I hate to do it, but it's better than any alternative I can see.

So shortly after

2002-06-12T17:00:00-07:00

So, shortly after leaving my place, Jaimee returned so she could spend her day off job hunting here in Peoria. While she was here, we went over to Circuit City to buy the new New Found Glory CD, and also found a CD they did of cover songs from movies. It's hilarious and awesome stuff, kids. I recommend either of those CDs.

I finally got my satellite installed. It works awesome, even in a horrible thunderstorm we had yesterday. It's good to have some new entertainment instead of just cycling through all the commentary tracks on all my DVDs.

A week from today, I will hopefully have DSL. Then I'll be all set up and rarin' to go. I'm getting really sick of this crappy AOL nonsense.

oh my god.

2002-06-13T17:00:00-07:00

I ate naughty food today, so I punished myself by doing 11 laps around the field as opposed to 8. In addition, I only gave myself 1 lap of rest walking. I am sweating so much right now you wouldn't even believe it.

Getting in shape is for the birds.

So, last night was really interesting.

2002-06-13T17:00:00-07:00

I was supposed to meet Polk at the UPN station downtown at 1 am. Unfortunately, I left a bit late and had no gas to get there. So I stopped at a gas station on the way. While filling up, a guy came running up to me, drunk out of his mind, asking me for a ride downtown in exchange for $5. I told him no problem. He only had a $20, though, and instead of waiting for him to run inside and get change, I told him I'd give him a ride for free since I was in a hurry. The whole ride downtown he was yelling about his girlfriend and other nonsense. It was pretty funny.

Anyway, the whole ordeal made me a bit late meeting Polk. We headed to his place for a few drinky drinks and a little Mr. Show, and I called it a night after my Captain's Gold. It's amazing how buzzed you can get off 2 drinks when you haven't eaten anything all day.

Now I'm just wasting time until I go pick Polk up and we head to Angie's cook out. I'm not really looking forward to it. but at least I'm getting out of the apartment.

The barbeque at

2002-06-16T17:00:00-07:00

The barbeque at Angie's turned out to be not so horrible, really. That's about all I have to say about that.

Saturday we celebrated Father's Day with the family down in Woodhull. We ate at a buffet. Without sounding like a stuck up snob or anything like that, it's really bizarre what that side of the family considers a nice dinner. They got all dressed up in their best clothes for this restaurant, which was a crappy $8 buffet place. Before we left, my retarded good for nothing uncle was making cracks about my mom's weight. I wanted to just be like "Yeah, well, at least she's accomplished something in her life, fuck stick." I mean, he's an alcoholic, a drug addict, and a huge loser. He mooched off my grandma until the day she died and now he's mooching off my grandpa to support his fat ugly wife and retarded kids. Anyway, I don't have a lot of respect for that little section of the family.

Yesterday I changed my oil in good 'ole Jeepy and finally got around to watching Run Lola Run, which was just awesome.

It's been a pretty uneventful few days, I guess.

So last night

2002-06-18T17:00:00-07:00

So, last night was Scotty Olsson's bachelor party. I was trying to convince him to go to Big Al's, but he was having none of it. We ate some steak then headed downtown to Richard's for a couple of drinks. Scott's brother Phil was all about me, my pornography career, and junkmachine. Hopefully he'll write some articles or something for it soon. Funny chap.

Anyway, I got to see all those guys I only see rarely. Brian Kelly, John Zarr, Scott Reyling, Jason Smalley... it was good times. I think tonight we're hitting Kouri's for some theology thingie.

I bought Rollerball on DVD. I'm one of those types who likes, or at least appreciates, every movie I see. I rarely hate movies. But Rollerball is the biggest piece of shit on the face of the planet. It's absolutely fucking awful. There's not one good part of the movie. The whole thing is garbage. Terrible acting, writing, directing. How the hell do bullshit movies like this get made when independent genius filmmakers can't get a dime to work on their movies which are actually worth buying? Or even watching. And why the hell did I buy this movie? Screw you, Rollerball. I can't say enough bad things about this horrible piece of shit.

Now I'm organizing my office, finally. My crap has sat out for long enough, so it's time to put it away. Tomorrow my DSL gets hooked up, so hopefully, junkcam will be up and running. Since I'll be letting strangers into my office, I figured it should at least be clean, right? Right.

DSL is the

2002-06-19T17:00:00-07:00

DSL is the greatest thing on earth.

help

2002-06-19T17:00:00-07:00

can someone go see if my web cam is working? thanks. peace out.

wow, it's been a while.

2002-06-25T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, I haven't posted in quite some time.

Anyway, picking up where we left off. Friday night Polk and I went to see Minority Report. I liked it for the most part, but it was far, far too long. Saturday was spent moving Jaimee into Peoria and watching The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Sunday must have been really uneventful, because I can't remember a thing about it. Monday I did laundry. Tuesday I drew porn. And today is today. And now we're all caught up.

It's really nice to finally have Jaimee living close to me. We don't have to make long trips or plan something special. She can just come over, eat some Hamburger Helper, and watch some TV.

I'm trying to wrap up some of these drawings so I can dedicate tonight to a junkmachine facelift. Exciting stuff.

So work has

2002-07-01T17:00:00-07:00

So, work has been really slow lately and I have been very poor. All of the sudden, all this stuff is coming at me at once. It's a welcome change. I can't wait to have money again.

I'm also hungry pretty much all the damn time. People say that you lose cravings for junk after the first week or 2 of a diet. I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. I wanted McDonald's so bad today, but luckily Jaimee was around to distract me with a slightly more health conscious bowl of Mac N Cheese.

Still, though, I'm enjoying the whole shrinking process that comes with losing weight. Even though people laugh at me when they see my rollerblade and/or jog. Just wait a few months when I'm a skinny fuck again. They won't laugh then.

Wednesday my sister

2002-07-03T17:00:00-07:00

Wednesday my sister had her traditional 4th of July dinner at her house. Jaimee came along and got to meet the fam. Today is the 4th, so of course we have to go watch fireworks by the river. I just got back from seeing Lilo and Stitch with my sister, Robert, mom, Matthew, Samantha, Stephanie, and Tommy. I love free movies.

Other than that, life is boring. I spent today working on a slight facelift for junkmachine and a new the thing for joylugod. I wish I could turn junkmachine stuff into a full time job somehow. I love that stupid site.

The amazing pootastic adventure

2002-07-04T17:00:00-07:00

As mentioned in jaimee's journal, we went to see the fireworks last night.

Let me first explain the "cleaning the system" process. Fabish clued me into this while we were still were roommates. Basically you just eat very little and drink a lot of that fiber Metamucil stuff. You poop a lot, and eventually your system is clear. I had been taking a lot of the fiber stuff with just disappointing results. Jaimee warned me that eventually all the fiber stuff would come back to haunt me, but I didn't believe her.

So, last night we were down by the river waiting for the fireworks to start. I had just finished my Strawberry banana smoothie when I started to feel a bit sick to my stomach. I stood up to help my circulation a bit. It was an improvement, but I still felt a bit sick. Suddenly I had the urge to poo. A big urge. I figured I could certainly make it home, so I didn't worry about it too much.

As the fireworks went on, I got those odd stomach cramp things that you get when you're about to get the runs. I grinned and beared it, still knowing I could definitely make it home. The fireworks ended and we started our walk to my car, about 4 or 5 blocks up the road.

As we walked, I felt the poo getting closer and closer to the point of no return. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of places to poo in downtown Peoria. The places where I could have pooed where closed. I told Jaimee that I would drive to the closest restaurant and poo there, since at this point I was pretty sure I couldn't make it home.

However, sitting down in the car was a big relief. I didn't dare buckle my seatbelt for fear that the extra pressure would squeeze out something I wanted to stay in. For a bit of added security, I also undid my pants. The traffic was stop and go, which made things much worse.

As we made our way back to my apartment, the stomach cramps got more and more frequent and the large poo got closer and closer to the back door. As we turned the final turn into my parking lot, I was pretty sure the head of the poo was sticking out. It took every piece of my will power to keep the poo in. I was having a hard time shifting gears and braking, since I was sure that any movement of the legs would squeeze out a small, or perhaps large, chunk of poop.

Jaimee hopped out of the car and ran to unlock my door. I got out of my Jeep. I was glad that Jaimee was already inside, because I was quite the sight to see. My pants were still undone, so I was holding them up while walking. The word "walking" is kind of a stretch, since I was afraid to move my legs above the knee. By the time I got to the security door, I had temporary relief from the pain and worry that came with almost shitting my pants. I was walking mostly normal again as I walked up the stairs and shuffled quickly into the bathroom.

I don't think I need to go into any more details, but I will say that I pooed very, very big. Huge. It was ridiculous. I spent the next hour or so making frequent trips to the bathroom which were mostly for large farts followed by a bit of liquid poo. I pooed another large poo before bed and woke up in the middle of the night for another relatively large poo. I was miserable at the time, but I'm feeling good now. I recommend cleaning the system, but perhaps an overdose of fiber supplement isn't the best way to get things done.

crap.

2002-07-06T17:00:00-07:00

crap.

So it started

2002-07-09T17:00:00-07:00

So, it started off as a bad day today. First off, my pornography career went right down the drain. I got the email today saying that my porn drawings weren't attracting a big crowd, so my services were no longer needed. I had really been banking on that job to pay my rent until something legitimate came along. With the job over and done with, I had to start looking for something REAL all of the sudden.

It was odd, though. I started off being a bit pissed off. The more I thought about it, the more upset and crappy I felt. I mean, if I can't draw good enough porn pictures, what can I draw? What are the chances of me becoming a great artist if I can't even hold the most pathetic job in the art industry.

But, on the other hand, it was porn. Which is totally lame. And humiliating. And non-reliable. I mean, it's not like they had a great reputation and I couldn't make the grade. They publish fucked up porn, and I guess my porn wasn't fucked up enough to fit in their library.

Jaimee recommended a book which lists tons and tons and tons of places that are always accepting new artists. Magazines, greeting cards, posters, comic books, books, galleries, etc. I went though it tonight, highlighting a bunch of them that I plan on sending samples to. While I don't expect to land even a small portion of the the ones I apply for, I do have my hopes up for one or two. And the best part... this is legitimate work that I'm not ashamed to do and don't feel dirty about.

In the meantime, I have rent to pay and no way to pay it. That sucks. But I still have my sights set on becoming a famous artist. I hope this whole pornography thing was a blessing in disguise.

Barely 24 hours after losing an illustration job...

2002-07-10T17:00:00-07:00

... I get this email back in reply to an email I sent yesterday:

Thanks for writing, Tim. I had a look at your web site. A few items did not
load properly, unfortunately. But overall you seem to be a talented artist.
I've bookmarked your site for future reference.

Out of curiosity, how are you with historical figures? We have a book about
ninja clans almost ready for printing but we find ourselves in need of some
additional illustrations. If you have some JPG samples of your more
"realistic" subjects I'd love to see them.

Mark Arsenault

President, Gold Rush Games | http://www.goldrushgames.com
Director of Communications, Game Publishers Assoc. | http://www.thegpa.org

Dude, drawing ninjas for money. How cool is that? Anyway, even if this never leads to anything of any importance, it's encouraging that someone actually replied so quickly. Maybe I don't suck at this whole art thing. Maybe I can make it as a professional illustrator. Go Tim.

So I haven't

2002-07-14T17:00:00-07:00

So, I haven't heard back from anyone else regarding illustration jobs. Not that I expected to just yet, mind you. My dad bought me gift certificates to the local art store so I could stock up on supplies necessary to get my submissions done.

In other news, I was out jogging the other night. I always go at night because it's not ridiculously hot at night. I live in an area that's not really residential at all, so when the stores close down at around 6, my part of town dies. Anyway, I was jogging my some local businesses that were obviously closed. I didn't notice at first, and probably wouldn't have noticed at all, but there was 1 lone car sitting in a parking lot. I noticed only because I heard a scream coming from it. The car shook a bit, but I didn't notice anyone sitting inside.

I figured it was a couple teenagers doin' a little sumptin sumptin, but I also worried that it may have been a girl getting raped or killed or something, so I went in for a closer look. There was definitely a little sumptin sumptin goin' on in the hizouse, and they both totally saw me as I got within about 10 or 15 feet of the car. They both started trying to cover up a bit, but I just laughed and moved on. Silly kids.

Wolford was in town last night, so I stopped by to see him. We ended up going to Perkin's and to see Halloween Resurrection, which totally kicked ass. So formulaic and very 1980's slasher flick. I loved it. It was complete with a little recap at the beginning, mindless plot, bad acting, and dope smoking. It was perfect. And not at all self-referential, which was the best part. Even the best of the recent horror movies have thrown in a line or 2 about scary movies to get a cheap laugh, which was always the worst part. Jeepers Creepers and Jason X both did that. But not this movie. I hope they keep coming out with these cheeseball slasher flicks. I love 'em.

Jaimee's family has also been in town for a while, so I got to meet her mom, sister, and nephew. I even got a free dinner out of the deal.

Food I want right now:

2002-07-16T17:00:00-07:00

With my new diet, I've had to give up a lot of food I love. I thought the cravings would go away, but alas, they have not. So, the list:

Cheese fries, double quarter pounder from McDonald's, Hamburger Helper, anything from Long John Silvers, brownies, Mr. Pibb, cheese sticks, cheese balls, Meat Lover's from Pizza Hut, baby back ribs, nachos, cinnamon bread, Avanti's gondola, fried mushrooms, a triple steakburger with cheese and bacon from Steak 'n Shake with a cookies and cream shake, shrimp, garlic bread with mozzarella, Sun Chips, Corn Nuts, anything with lots of cheese, anything fried, anything meat.

So, there it is. But, on the other hand, I'm lighter and smaller than I was a month ago, which is good. 3 out of 4 of my fat pants can go on and off without unbuttoning them. I fit into a pair of 36 shorts. All good things, but I want my food back.

So I've been

2002-07-17T17:00:00-07:00

So, I've been fairly productive the last few days. Drawing lots of stuff for specialized submissions, trying to get the addresses I'm sending to organized and not doing a good job with it. I really need to clean the apartment, too. Maybe later today, but probably not.

So, my dad and I are going to cut down dead pine trees for money. It sucks because I can't pay rent without doing shit jobs like this. Then on Monday I interview for a part time job as a framer. It will be a good job, but it's the same one Brandon (the guy who got me the interview) had when he was 17.

As a result, I'm feeling totally lame right now. When I was a kid, I was always the one who was going to be a famous artist. I knew it, my parents knew it, everyone I knew knew it. Around age 18, I chickened out on that dream and decided computers were the way to go, because I could get a job. Now, at almost 23, I feel like I made the wrong choice completely.

My heart was never into multimedia stuff. It's impossible to stand out in a field that you don't love. So, I'm going back into illustration slowly but surely to try and take advantage of some talent and do something I actually like doing. But, in the meantime, I have to cut down trees and frame other people's drawings to pay the bills. And borrow money from my dad. Can't forget that.

It seems weird. A year ago I was "accomplished". I mean, I had graduated from college and was working in a job that used my degree. I was 21 and making quite a bit for a guy my age with my education. I never had to worry about money or about paying my bills, or consider selling all my stuff. For the last few months, when the jobs weren't coming in and I was living off my savings and my credit cards, I felt completely retarded for leaving Iona. I felt like I didn't have direction, or a purpose, or a point to doing what I was doing. If all that was true, than I should have stayed where I was and at least gotten a consistent paycheck out of the deal.

But now, with my refound interest in illustration, things are looking up. When I wake up, I have stuff to do. Although I'm not getting paid for it, it's still productive and will help me in the future. I've learned a lot in the past 5 years, but sometimes I wish I could go back to the middle of Senior year and give the illustration thing all I had to give. Oh well. The only thing I can do now is keeping stuggling to pay the bills until some more illustration stuff comes in. And that sucks. But at least it's a destination.

woah.

2002-07-21T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so my interview at the framing place just ended. I'll make $7/hour, which is less than half of what I made when I was working at Iona. I don't have the job yet, but I think I'll probably get it.

In other news, Fabish got engaged. Weird. The goofy fuckstick I grew up with is now going to get married. I feel old.

Back to the grindstone.

2002-07-22T17:00:00-07:00

So, I just got the call. I got the job at the art gallery.

In one way it's good. I get free inspiration by framing artwork all day. I'm sure I'll get discounts on framing my own stuff. I don't have to work with customers.

The bad part: I don't really want to go back to the whole 9-5 routine. I'll only get $7/hour. I made $7/hour when I was 17. I made $16/hour at Iona.

But, hopefully it will lead to something better. We'll see.

Up way too late on my new project.

2002-07-22T17:00:00-07:00

For those of you interested, I'm now selling VCDs.

'Signs' should be available tomorrow.

Signs sucks.

2002-07-24T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so, Signs is a terrible movie. I'm really glad I just downloaded it rather than actually paying to see it.

I hate M. Night Shyamalan with every fiber of my being. He's terrible. Okay, the 6th Sense was a great movie. Fantastic. I loved it. I still love it. Unbreakable was okay. On a good day, Unbreakable was pretty good. I liked it a lot less only because it was really, really similar to the 6th Sense. Kind of dark. Very monotonous dialogue. Lots of "just set the camera down for 45 minutes" type of direction. Awkward conversations between characters.

From here on out there's gonna be lots of spoilers for Signs, so if you want to see it, skip this post. If you don't want to see it (which I recommend), read on.

Similarities: Bruce in 6th Sense. Lost his passion for his job after a New Kid shot himself in his bathroom. Bruce in Unbreakable. Never had passion for his job. Had to take it because of an injurt. Mel in Signs. Lost passion for his job when his wife died.

Bruce in 6th Sense. Estranged from his wife because he was dead. Bruce in UB. Estranged because he's a loser. Mel in Signs. Estranged because she's dead.

Always with the fucking little kids. Hey, Night, write a movie that doesn't rely on interaction between a big Hollywood star and an unknown little kid.

Everything is always so sad. All the time. The "funny" bits are never really that funny. They only seem funny because after watching depressing, drawn out nonsense for 2 hours people are dying to laugh. The characters are always the same character. They never have personality. There's always a ridiculous amount of flashbacks in every M. Night movie. Stop it with the flashbacks. We don't care.

And the twist ending. I didn't see the end of 6th Sense coming. Unbreakable, I predicted. Signs, I didn't predict. That's because the twist ending of Signs was terrible, contrived, and fucking lame.

So, to start up with the big spoilers. Aliens land on Earth. You never really see them too well. Mel and his family lock themselves in their basement while the aliens "attack". They're in there overnight, and when they come back out, the "war" between humans and aliens is over, for some reason that they never really explain. Humans win. Somehow.

Anyway, so the last "twist" was that 1 alien is left over. He takes Mel Gibson's son and there's a big long "climax" where Mel and his brother have to kill him. So, you want to know what the aliens main weakness is? WATER. Fucking water. Yes, water. Remember Ernest Scared Stupid? It was a ridiculous movie where monsters attack, and it turns out that they kill them with milk. Water is even more ridiculous. What is that?

And to REALLY give away the ending, the last 30 second confrontation with the alien is supposed to tie up all the loose ends and say "there's no coincidences". So, Mel's brother beats the alien with a bat because he's a former minor league baseball star with a bunch of home run records. There's a bunch of water glasses laying around the house because Mel's daughter only drinks 1 drink and leaves the rest of the glass laying around. The alien is the same one Mel encountered in the pantry with the knife... I'm sure you've seen previews of that one. So, after killing an alien, Mel decides that he believes in God again and takes up his old job as a reverand. That's probably exaclty what I would do after killing an alien, too.

This whole story is around lame flashbacks to Mel's wife dying. M Night shows up in this movie, again, as the guy who killed Mel's wife accidently. He's not really important to the plot except to say that he's moving to a lake because somehow he knows the aliens hate water.

But the thing I really hate about M. Night is his cocky fucking attitude. Yeah, he made the 6th Sense and that was a good movie. But 1 good movie followed by a mediocre one followed by a shitty one doesn't give him the right to put "M. Night Shyamalan's" on every single thing he does. Even Spielberg doesn't do that (much), and he's much more established with a much better track record than Night. And those DVDs. I love deleted scenes, but not when they're prefaced with a 30 minute discussion on why it was cut. Especially when the preface is given by a cocky director who talks all condescendingly (as if that's a word) like he's the best thing to ever happen to the movie industry.

I honestly hope that he never works again after this horrible piece of garbage. Jaimee asked me if I thought this was worse than Rollerball. Honestly, yes, I think it's worse. Rollerball didn't take itself seriously. It was a stupid movie, but it never tried to be anything great. Signs is a B movie that tries to be A and does a terrible job at it. You wanna make a movie with aliens invading Earth? Make Indepence Day II. Now that's a good idea.

Freddy vs. Jason

2002-07-25T17:00:00-07:00

Freddy vs. Jason starts filming September 9th. Rob Zombies "House of 1000 Corpses" comes out on video in October. So does Jason X on DVD. It's a good time to be a slasher movie fan.

Cheap. cheap, cheap.

2002-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

For anyone who has ever wanted their own web space/domain name, here's a neat link:

https://www.securesslserver.com/hostonce/cgi-bin/special_order.html

$30 for a year, free domain registration, and price freeze. That's $2.50/month. That's cheap. Unlimited space, unlimited transfer.

Enjoy.

Weird happenings.

2002-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

So, I got home from work last night and Jaimee was already here. We went to dinner at Chili's, and right when we got home I got a phone call from Ryan Morge, who I went to high school with. He approached me about several projects he has planned. We decided to meet at Old Chicago for a few drinks and a little business meeting.

As I walked up to Old Chicago, I saw Jeremy Johnson, who both Morge and I went to high school with. I've seen him a total of about 3 times since high school. We also ran into Tom (I won't even try to spell his last name), who all 3 of us knew from high school. Jenny Edwards was our waitress, who I went to grade school with. Jon Crusen was the bartender, who we all went to high school with. It was very odd. As we were leaving, I also ran into Erica, Alan's exgirlfriend. It was weird that so many people I knew kept popping up everywhere.

Anyway, Ryan is now reselling long distance. It's good to see someone else my age giving the "self employed" thing a shot. We had a lot to talk about. I think that's going to be a good partnership for us.

In other news, I totally love my job. It's so laid back with not a lot of paperwork. And I get to use lots of power tools and other cool toys. I did get injured for the first time yesterday, however. I'm not exactly sure how. I was cutting some glass and the next thing I knew, I was bleeding all over. Fun stuff.

I imagine the job will get a bit boring once I have the process down pat, but for a while I'll really enjoy it, I think.

So it was

2002-08-01T17:00:00-07:00

So, it was an exciting day at work today.

It started off normally enough. I was cutting some frames and doing what it is we framers do, and all of the sudden the lights flickered out. We figured we blew a circuit in the basement, but since we are in the basement, it was impossible to see the circuit box, much less our way to the light.

After a few minutes of stumbling around the dark, someone came downstairs with a candle so we could at least get out of the basement. We realized that the entire building had blacked out.

We looked down the street and saw a couple of street lights out, too. We figured it was a temporary thing and we'd be back up and running in no time. Brandon and I decided to take lunch instead of sitting around waiting for the electricity to come back on.

We headed down the street, but it took a couple of blocks to realize the severity of the outage. It seemed to be everywhere. We drove about 4 miles before finding a restaurant that could actually serve us anything.

So, it seems Peoria died. But not only Peoria. The electricity is out in several surrounding towns, all the way to El Paso, which is about 40 miles away. Luckily the outage seems to have hit Peoria and the towns to the south and east. My apartment is about 2 blocks away from the beginning of the outage, so I'm sittin' pretty in my air conditioning with my computer on. Not many people are this lucky. I'd say 95% of Peoria is without electricity. Fun stuff.

I've heard an unofficial estimate that we will be without electricity for 10-15 hours. Radio stations and TV stations aren't transmitting, of course, so that's not the greatest source. Hospitals are shut down, too. Weird.

So work is

2002-08-05T17:00:00-07:00

So, work is going well. I'm enoying it. I get my hands cut up every single day. There's really not a lot to learn, but everything needs to be practiced.

The new soda of the hour: Mr. Green. It's by Sobe, and it's freaking awesome. I was disappointed after Mr. Pibb turned to Pibb Xtra, but glad when Dr. Pepper came out with a very similar Red Fusion. And now comes along Mr. Green, which is even more similar to the original Mr. Pibb, except with a bad aftertaste.

In other news, I'm considering trading in the Jeep on one of those new bad ass Hyundai Tiburons. Those are sweet.

holy crap.

2002-08-07T17:00:00-07:00

So, I made these VCDs of hard to find Bruce/Sam shorts from their high school and college days. They've been selling really well. I've sold 10 now, with at least 3 more orders on the way. I've been selling them via eBay for $7 each, which I thought was a really fair price. But look what happened:

people made the price go way, way up.

So, I'm thinking maybe I wasn't charging enough. I've raised my price to $15 for this next round, and we'll see what happens.

86 people who

2002-08-10T17:00:00-07:00

86 people who saw Signs and loved it changed their minds after reading this review.

I need to grow some balls

2002-08-12T17:00:00-07:00

I am not very eager to actually put money into a new business, since last time I did that, it was a disaster. I dropped nearly 5 grand on a company that's made me exaclty $17. So, lately I've been trying business things that take no money. The Bruce/Sam VCD is a good example, and I'm riding high on the success of that experiment.

But, I want to try it again. I want to invest money into a "business" and make it work. I like my job and all, but I don't like going in every day. I want to do my own thing.

Anyway, I've run across another business idea I'm seriously considering. It will take an investment of somewhere between $300-$600. Between my new job at the gallery, the VCDs, and a couple of recent freelancing gigs, I've had a stellar couple of weeks and have the money to spare. But, it's still a risk, and with the loss of $5K still in the back of my mind, I'm having a hard time goin' for the gold.

I should really just get over it. I mean, sure, I lost 5 grand, but I learned a lot. And I lost the 5 grand almost half a year ago. It's time try something new. People are starting to laugh at me when I mention new business prospects, but I don't care much. I am bound and determined to someday work for myself and not for someone else. I don't like working for other people. It sucks.

Anyway, the $5K loss is still haunting me, which is kind of the reason I'm reluctant to lose more money on a business that's not a sure thing. I still have credit card bills that I racked up because of that $5K. Every time I look at my bill, I'm reminded of my failure. But the moderate success of my VCD thing makes me really want to try again.

My new business experiment involves me buying a box of various electronics, seperating the contents, and selling them individually. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'm pretty sure I could make money selling this stuff on eBay. If eBay has taught me anything, it's that there's someone out there who will buy whatever it is you're selling.

I grew some balls.

2002-08-13T17:00:00-07:00

I grew some balls and spent $550 on some "mystery" merchandise that they say may be worth between $1000-$3800. I'll be satisfied if I get my money back plus a few more electronic toys.

I can't wait to be an eBay whore.

Well it was

2002-08-18T17:00:00-07:00

Well, it was a busy but good weekend. Friday was the traditional Kouri's night with the one and only freakwolf, who I haven't seen in quite some time. We followed the drinky drinks at Kouri's with drinky drink's at rad_jose's pad.

Saturday I went to Mullens' birthday party to catch up with people I haven't seen in some time. It was really fun, but when I got there, there was only like 5 people there. It was really depressing. I had made plans with jaimee, so I had to leave early. I got to hang out with Jaimee and her sister, which was fun. I had decided that after dinner, I would head back to Mullens' party. If nothing else, an extra person would make it look less lame.

So, I got back to the party, and there was plenty of people there. I guess I had nothing to worry about. I got to see people I haven't seen in a long time, and got to talk to people I've only seen in passing. Mullens was drunk and in a great mood, and thanked me over and over for coming to the party. A drunk girl kept walking around and falling on people and things. It was a good, old fashioned party. The kind I used to go to when I was underage. And really, really fun.

Me and freakwolf headed downtown to meet rad_jose, but he was nowhere to be found. We went to a bar where we knew some people, but it was loud and lame. I like nice, quiet bars where you can actually talk to people. This bar was not that.

Yesterday jaimee and I went to my parent's house. I had to put a new back door on my Jeep from an accident last New Year's Eve, and Jaimee's car is just a mess. My dad and I fixed her windows, changed her oil, and examined her turn signals. We had to meet freakwolf and rad_jose for dinner, so we didn't get a chance to fix my Jeep door.

And now it's today. I'm up way too early for myself, but I have a lot to get done today. The gallery opens at 9, so I'm heading over there for a couple hours to get some frames done. Then, my mystery packages are (hopefully) arriving today, so I need to get out to my parent's to pick them up and inspect the contents. The UPS tracking system says my tracking number (that worked yesterday) is invalid. I hope that my packages are still delivered, or I'm going to be really sad.

I got my goodies.

2002-08-19T17:00:00-07:00

That's right. I got my stuff. And I only got 1 lame item.

Included were one of these, 2 of these, a stupid pair of headphones, an awesome region free DVD player, a surround sound system, and a set of speakers.

I think I'll break even on the deal... if not, I'll make like $20.

I haven't listed any of my stuff on eBay yet. It's boring to do, and I'm tired and want to watch TV or something.

So I put

2002-08-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, I put everything I have on eBay, and it turns out that if I hit my reserve price on everything, I will have lost about $4 on this whole "buy unclaimed freight" experiment. That's not bad, though. Losing $4 is just a lesson learned, and a great lesson, really. I plan to try something similar again if I make my money back, or anywhere close to it.

Not a whole lot else to report, really. Fabish called me the other day and invited me out to Applebee's with KJ. We had all you can eat riblets, which were awesome. Fabish and I were champs, but KJ barely ate anything. Ah well, such is life.

I had to wake up really early this morning to take Jaimee to work because her car is lame, lame, lame. So, I'm tired. I'm glad it's my day off.

I have to go out to my dad's house and get his computer to recover from a vicious virus. That will be fun. Or something.

Errands and more errands.

2002-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

I was out running errands today. I deposited some checks, mailed off some CDs and VCDs, and stopped at Wal-Mart to return a shitty ICEE maker I bought. As I walked out to my Jeep after stopping at Wal-Mart, I noticed a huge, brand new 6" slice in my back window. Someone had cut it open during my 15 seconds at Wal-Mart. I was pissed off.

But, I can't let that get me down. I came home on my day off, ready to sit back and watch some daytime TV that I've come to miss since going back to work. My satellite doesn't work. Weird, I thought. So I called up DirecTV to see what the deal was. Immediately I was greeted saying I had a past due balance of $12 and my service will be discontinued until I pay. Bullshit, I said.

See, I got a free 3 months of Starz, which hasn't ended yet. I got my last DirecTV bill, and I was billed for it. So I called up to see what the problem was, and the operator told me that I would be credited for the $12, but I haven't been yet. Just pay the standard rate, and it would be sorted out. So, I wrote a check for $12 less than the bill, and figured that was that.

Anyway, now I'm pissed. I've tried calling DirecTV and when I press the option to talk to a representative, I get cut off. Fuck you, Wal-Mart! Fuck you, DirecTV!

Kick ass.

2002-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

So, the unveiling of my failed project. Ready, set go!

Here it is.

Custom-art.com. I spent $5,000 setting it up, plus getting a merchant account up and running for processing credit card orders, plus getting the whole mySQL, PHP back end set up, etc. Anyway, up until last week, it had made me $17. Then I decided to sell it by putting it on eBay. It didn't sell (or get any bids, for that matter), but one guy did email me and asked if I would sell him non-exclusive rights to the mascots for $150. I said abso-freaking-lutely.

So, that got me thinking. If I could make $150 for a fraction of the content, what are the chances that I could put the content on a CD and sell it for $15 or $20 each? Pretty good, I think.

I emailed funnyprizes.com Dave and asked for his advice. He said it's a wonderful idea and he's all about helping me get going on this project. The great part is that the stuff is already finished. I would need to make neat little graphics for the CD case and a cool interface when you pop it in, but that wouldn't take more than a few hours. So, I'm feeling good, and feeling like maybe all that work wasn't a complete waste. I've now made 3% of my money back (minus the monthly costs of maintaining it, but let's ignore those), and I'm aiming for aroung 50%.

Everything's coming up Wasson.

And this guy wants to go into business with me. And it's been 27 days since I started selling the Bruce/Sam VCDs, and so far it's made me just over $230. My auctions on unclaimed freight are doing fairly well, and I'm doing pretty okay myself. Go me.

Plus, I think we're eating at Kouri's tonight.

Weighin in

2002-08-25T17:00:00-07:00

I weighed in again this morning, which I haven't done for many Mondays in a row, for fear of actually gaining weight. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that I now weigh 230. I was stuck at 233 for... well, basically forever, which is really, really frustrating. But now I'm back on track. And yes, junkmachine has been updated accordingly.

225 coming next week. I can feel it in my bones.

So the custom-art.com

2002-08-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, the custom-art.com CD is finished, custom-art.com has been given a facelift, and we're all set to start sellin'. The first round of ads should be going out tonight.

It's nice, because these mods were pretty quick and fairly easy, but the best part... completely free. Free is good. Dave is doing all the promotion and selling for me (for 20% of my profits), and those should be my only expenses.

I've done the math. I'll need to sell about 450 CDs to make 100% of my money back (once you add in CD cost, cost of inserts, etc.). Dave estimates he can sell 100 CDs a week. I have a hard time believing that, although at this point, my hopes are up.

Now it's to the job at the art gallery. Fun stuff. I guess.

awesome awesome awesome AWESOME.

2002-08-28T17:00:00-07:00

The new custom-art.com is doing SO AWESOME that I can't even believe it. It's been just over 12 hours since my ad went out, and already I have 2 sales. I'm pumped. I can hardly believe it. Maybe custom-art.com will actually turn a profit.

I'm headed to work today, and now I have my hopes up to see hundreds of sales when I get back.

It's been a

2002-08-28T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a really busy couple of days.

Today I spent some time updating my dad's webpage. My auctions were also all ending today, so I monitored them and got them ready to go. So far, I've made $340 off the merchandise with eBay, plus $150 selling Fabish some speakers. So, I'm down $60, but I have that cool Jensen stereo to sell, and those gay headphones that I will never get rid of. I'll probably make a profit, but if I can't sell that stereo, I'll just keep it. It's pretty cool, after all.

I also won an auction. An old Nintendo for $12. Sweet, baby, sweet. The games on eBay are like $2 each, too. Most Nintendos on eBay are going for like $40, but this one may or may not be broken. We'll see.

I went to Kinko's and got more Sam/Bruce things printed, as well as a few things for the new custom-art.com. Dave sent out my ad tonight, so hopefully I'll get some sales tomorrow.

Then, I had to go out to my parent's house to help my dad with some things he needed help with. So it's been a busy day. It's weird... when I was just doing my own thing, it seemed like I never had enough to do. Now that I work 15 hours a week, I never have a day off anymore. I've always got something to do... CDs to burn, freelance to do, updates to my own stuff, etc.

Kinko's also offered me a 3rd shift position while I was there today. I used to work 3rd back in the day. I dismissed it at first, but I've been considering it more and more. I loved working 3rd, and they paid me way more than the gallery pays me now. But, I also have to keep in mind that this is not my career. I should be working on my own stuff, and be carving out a new job in a new field, rather than resorting to what I was doing at age 17 to pay the bills. Can't lose focus. Eyes on the prize and all that stuff.

Why does this keep happening?

2002-08-28T17:00:00-07:00

People must really love Sam and Bruce.

Well one of

2002-08-29T17:00:00-07:00

Well, one of my auctions finished for $200, which I was pretty excited about. Unfortunately, the winner turned out to be a deadbeat. So, I'm going to have to relist. And that sucks. But such is life.

I've been really, really busy lately. Hopefully that will end tonight. I feel lame, though. It's been so long since I've actually been making my own money and doing well at it that it's a welcome change, and I feel bad when I'm not working. I've had a really good couple of weeks, financially speaking, and I want to keep it up.

I've still only gotten 2 orders from custom-art.com, but it's still adding to the site to hopefully make it profitable, even if it takes years. I'm not sure what else I'll try after this, but certainly something.

feardotcom and other ramblings.

2002-08-31T17:00:00-07:00

As jaimee mentioned, we saw feardotcom tonight. My review is a bit less angry sounding, but still a definite thumbs down.

I hate hating this movie. It makes me sad. Sure, it had a weak plot and bad acting and uninspired direction, but it was a horror movie, so that was to be expected. The only part I liked about it: No self-refential bullshit made famous by Scream. It at least TRIED to be a real, scary movie.

And now the spoilers.

Why I hated this movie: It tried to be 5 different movies at once. Horror movies are very formulaic, and that's one of the greatest things about them. When you try something different it never works.

So, this movie had many plots. 1. Serial killer doctor who kills women on camera for the web. 2. Detective movie tracking down the killer. 3. Ghost movie, with the visions of the little girl with the ball. 4. Supernatural horror, with the killer who is made of energy. 5. Sci-Fi horror, with the whole "internet" and "computer" and "feardotcom.com" nonsense. I think I would have liked the movie if it had picked one of the above 5 and stuck with it rather than adding stuff that didn't have anything to do with anything.

And the ending. What a terrible ending.

It was long and boring, and resorted to cheap camera tricks and loud noises to be scary. It also resorted to fast moving, distorted images with blood and stuff to try and be unsettling and horroriffic. It failed. It was more annoying than it was scary. Plus, horror movies need to be like an hour and a half, tops. At just under 2 hours, this movie was way, way, way too long.

In other news, today marks my 1 year anniversary of being a freelancer. That's right. 1 year ago I up and quit my good ole stable job in favor of starting my own business, only to have varying degrees of success with it. I have a lot to say about it, but I think maybe I'll save it up for my 2nd year anniversary on LJ, which is coming up in like a month and a half.

I'm sharing my

2002-09-02T17:00:00-07:00

I'm sharing my internet connection with my neighbor. I have DSL and a router, and I had an open space, so we ran a cable and badda-boom, it's a shared connection. It's nice because we split the internet bill, so we both get cheap, fast access.

Well, tonight Doug came by to pay me for the connection and then asked me to unplug his cable from my router for the next couple of days. He says his girlfriend has been online way too much and it's pissing him off. He wants her to get away from the computer to clean the apartment and such. I thought it was pretty funny.

I'm running short on funds again. I really wish I had consistent income sometimes.

Doug finally gave

2002-09-05T17:00:00-07:00

Doug finally gave me the thumbs up to plug his internet connection back in. Over the past couple days, his girlfriend has stopped by.. oh, roughly 10,000 times to ask me why it wasn't working. I mean, I make my living off the internet. I hunt for jobs, buy and sell on eBay, etc., but I don't think I'd freak out if my internet was taken away for a couple days. I'd find other ways to occupy my time.

In other news, my eBay auctions are doing splendidly. I love selling my old junk, and I love seeing when I get bids. It's great.

In more news, jogging has become harder lately. Strange, because I thought it was supposed to get easier as I did it. Oh well. I'll keep at it and hopefully it will get easier again. I've been losing weight steadily, which is good, and I don't believe I've gained any since I started losing. All my fat pants are way too loose, and even my size 36 shorts are getting on the loose side.

And finally, my last piece of non-news, I haven't shaved for about 4 days and I am growing some impressive stubble. I even have way more of a mustache than I thought I could have. So, I have decided to simply trim and see what kind of a full beard I can grow. More than likely, it will end up lame and patchy and I'll shave it off before it even finishes growing in. But still, it's been more than a year since I experimented and I think it's time to try again.

And thus ends the lamest entry in the history of lame entries.

So I got

2002-09-07T17:00:00-07:00

So, I got 2 Nintendos off eBay for $35 in "as is" condition. They were untested, but I figured it was worth the risk. The tested ones were going for $50 and $60 each, even if 1 was broken, it was still a good deal for me.

Well, I was ecstatic when I popped in Super Mario Brothers and it worked the first time. I also popped in the other game the systems came with... Flying Warriors, which is totally lame. Anyway, it worked without having to play that "blow, then try again" game.

Today me and Jaimee went looking for more Nintendo games. I bought Paperboy, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street. None worked. We had some success with the blowing trick, although I was getting pissed off at the whole thing. I figured since I had an extra Nintendo, I could take a little risk and see what would happen if I tried to clean it. 20 minutes and a bit of Windex later. I have 1 fully operational Nintendo that doesn't need to be blown on every time you switch games. I plan on giving the other Nintendo the same treatment.

So, why did I buy 2, and what do I plan on doing with the other one? I bought a mini-motherboard which will fit perfectly into the Nintendo, so I plan on converting it into a computer. Should be pretty sweet.

In other news, Jaimee and I finally got around to watching Amelie. I'll be damned if I can pronounce it, but that is one awesome movie. I've been wanting to see it for some time but have never gotten around to it. Some of the reviews I've read said it was life altering. I wouldn't go that far. But there's definitely a few scenes that will send chills down your spine.

And that's about it for me. Paperboy isn't nearly as fun as I remembered it to be. Friday the 13th is confusing at first, but a kind of decent game once you catch on. Elm Street is simply terrible. So is Flying Warriors.

I was just

2002-09-08T17:00:00-07:00

I was just out jogging. I was nearing the end of my 2 miles and getting a bit tired. I guess I dragged my feet a little too much and totally wiped out right on the sidewalk. I feel totally cool right now, especially with a bloody knee that hurts like a motherfucker and 2 scraped up palms. Screw you, jogging! Screw you, getting in shape!

Reasons to go jogging at night rather than in the daylight:

You won't get sunburned.
You won't get horribly sweaty.
Less people around to see you fall and humiliate yourself.

I guess I

2002-09-10T17:00:00-07:00

I guess I didn't have a lot to say last year at this time, but I do have a bit to say now.

I don't have a good memory. Ask anyone I know. It's pretty terrible. But I remember last September 11th like it was yesterday. I had only been freelancing a little over a week, and I slept in late. I went into the living room, where Fabish was watching Saturday Night Live on Comedy Central. After about half an hour, he got up to take a shower and I kept on watching. About 5 minutes later, my mom called and told me to turn to a news channel. I was absolutely shocked at what I saw.

By that time, both planes had hit the towers and there was huge clouds of smoke everywhere. Every once in a while, they'd cut to a reporter who was covered in dust. The streets were white. The ground and cars were all covered with thick, light gray dust. It looked like a scene out of a movie. I couldn't believe it was real.

I ran back to the bathroom and yelled at Fabish through the bathroom door. "Dude, get out here right now! We've been attacked! Some terrorists flew airplanes into the World Trade Center." Fabish replied "Yeah right. Whatever." I mean, I don't blame him at all.

It was unbelievable. We sat down and watched the reports and the live footage. Just as the first building fell, Alan got home from work.

He'd been sent home early because he worked at an airport. It was then I learned that every airport in America had been shut down. Not even 1 plane was in the air. We just sat there, speechless, until one of us was so overcome with anger that we had to say something. We'd try to crack jokes, but what exacty could you say that was appropriate? Was it okay to be funny? There was some awkward laughter as we tried to sort out what was and wasn't appropriate to say.

But overall, the general feeling of September 11th to me wasn't sadness. It wasn't grief. Yes, those were there. But the biggest were anger and confusion. How could someone do this to America?

As the towers fell, my heart sank. CNN kept playing and replaying the planes hitting the towers. Over and over again. From every possible angle. It was unbelievable that so many cameras were out that day, and that so many survived the attacks. I remember one shot that I only saw once. It was a guy on the ground, shooting up at the towers. The plane flew overhead and crashed into the side of the building. The noises, the glass, the fire, the smoke. It was all unbelievable.

The days that followed restored my views on America. I've always loved this country. Always. I've always stood up for it when people, fellow Americans, would bash it. I still believe to this day that there is no other country as good as we are. There's no country I want to live in more. The days following September 11th only proved me right.

People in my neighborhood put up signs on their houses. "Together, we will stand". It was odd that such a tragedy, such a horrible event, would bring everyone together. For the next few weeks, all Americans loved America. It's a shame that feeling wouldn't last forever.

Then, the episode of SNL with Rudy Guliani and the NYC Fire Department making an appearance. Lorne asked Rudy if it was okay to be funny. Rudy replied "Why would you start now?"

Last year, everyone said that this event would change everything. I couldn't be happier that it didn't. What would that say about us, as a country, if we let 1 event... 1 day in a long, long history, change who we are? Sure, it's changed some things. But overall, things today are exactly as they were last September 10th. Americans still have a cynical, arrogant, and sarcastic sense of humor. America is still the greatest place on Earth to live. America isn't afraid to take action against these terrorists. America is still strong.

I still want justice. I still want to see Bin Laden's head cut off. I still want to see the War on Terrorism and I want to see America taking measures to make sure this won't happen again. Yes, i'm still angry about the event, even a year later. And I'm still angry about those fuckers on the street last year, dancing and saying that God is great.

It's been a big day.

2002-09-10T17:00:00-07:00

Lots of stuff happened. Well, not really, but considering it's me, lots of stuff happened.

I went into work at noon, as per usual. The owner of the gallery, Marianne, wanted to talk to me about working more hours. As we talked, Sue mentioned some doodles I had done while working on Saturday. She said something to the effect of "You've really got some talent there. You should try to develop it". So, I replied, "Yeah, well, you know I went to an art school, right?" Marianne was blown away. Her resident artist just left the store, so I think she was in the market for a new one. Everyone in the gallery seemed interested, so I'm going to bring in my art to show them. I'd been wanting to mention that I was an illustrator for a long time, but it never seemed right. I'm really hoping this opens some doors for illustration in Peoria. This gallery has been open for close to 40 years, and Marianne has basically made a lot of local artists. Maybe I can be next. We'll see.

So, I cut my finger pretty bad at work. It wouldn't stop bleeding. I bled through several band aids and some artist's tape, since we didn't have real tape to use. Then, just about 10 minutes ago, I was working on my Nintendo computer and cut my thumb even worse than I cut my finger. Fun stuff.

I just found out yesterday that someone I went to high school with died over Labor Day weekend. Carlos Sarrif. I never really hung out with him, and I could probably count the number of conversations we had on one hand. He was riding a jet ski that ran into a boat. He got sucked into the propellors and died. It's a pretty terrible way to go. As far as I know, he is the first person to die from my high school class. Jill Zarr died a few years ago, in the summer after her senior year, but she was a class below me. It's odd to see people like that die. I mean, they were my age or younger. The things that killed them were simple mistakes that could happen to anyone. The next time I get in my car and drive the 2 miles to work, I could die. The next time I go jogging, a drunk guy could swerve off the road and run me over. Next time I go grocery shopping at midnight, a robber could shoot me in the head.

Worrying about that sort of thing too much will make anyone miserable, so I'm definitely not going to. It's just strange to think about sometimes. I'm still alive, and I don't think I'm any more careful than Jill was. I've got jet skiing in the Illinois River just like Carlos, but I didn't die. So what's the difference? Luck? Coincidence?

But in an effort to end this post on a non-depressing note, my relisted auction (due to the dead beat bidder) finished higher than the previous one. So I came out okay.

So I brought

2002-09-12T17:00:00-07:00

So, I brought in my artwork for Marianne to look at. She was impressed. She seemed under the impression that I would be willing to do artwork for the gallery for the same rate as I do framing for them. I told her there was no way. My artistic skills are worth way more than my framing skills, and I do expect to get paid accordingly for it. I don't think I was out of line, but they seemed surpised.

My remote control on eBay went for $37, for some reason. My broken DVD player went for $33. Don't get that, either. Tonight I'm putting up more stuff. eBay is so great.

So, it was ridiculous at work. We took in a much bigger order than we should have, so I ended up working almost 11 hours yesterday. While at work, I got a call from Brian Kelly. He's moving to Kansas City, so it was his last night in town. Me, Brian, and John went out for a couple beers. It was a good time. I don't see them enough.

And now it's today. My Nintendo computer is complete except for a power switch, which I'm having a hard time finding. I've gone to every store in Peoria looking for one with no luck.

And it's also Friday the 13th, so me and Jaimee are watching Friday the 13th part 2, which is definitely the scariest and my 2nd favorite in the series.

My Nintendo computer

2002-09-15T17:00:00-07:00

My Nintendo computer is finished. And it's awesome.

The weekend was good. Friday the 13th part 2 scared Jaimee, as I knew it would. Polk was sick so we didn't go to Kouri's. Saturday me and Jaimee ate with my parents and saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. And that's as close to a compliment as I'm getting.

Other than that, things have been uneventful. I turn 23 in like 2 weeks. 23 is old.

Man my Nintendo

2002-09-17T17:00:00-07:00

Man, my Nintendo computer is freaking awesome. Last night I took it into the living room and watched Queen of the Damned on my big screen, playing off the computer's hard drive. Man, that movie was so terrible that it wasn't even worth the time it took to download. Luckily I'm too poor to buy DVDs these days, and at least I didn't waste money on it. But either way, it was still nice to not have to decode and re-encode, then burn to 2 VCDs. Higher quality and less of a pain in my ass. Go Nintendo. I can't wait to build one I actually keep.

There's a lot of interest on eBay with like 6,863 hits, but only 1 bid.

Today I'm cleaning my apartment. It's a big job.

So on Tuesday

2002-09-19T17:00:00-07:00

So, on Tuesday I went ahead and bought Panic Room. It's a great movie, and even though I hate spending money on stupid things like DVDs these days, I figured it was worth it. I haven't bought a DVD in too long.

On Wednesday Jaimee came over to watch it. After she left, I met up with Mullens and Alan for some drinks at Hoops. It was good times. Alan and I talked about how much we missed the old pad, and how it sucked to be getting older. They both also mentioned how skinny I looked (and by skinny, they meant "not as fat as you used to be"), and how much they loved (and by loved, thet meant "not hated") my beard (and by beard, I mean "long stubble I should probably just shave off at this point").

Anyway, it was fun, and I like talking to Mullens again like nothing ever happened. We do mention it in passing, like when we talk about Angie and how she never wants to hang out with me. But, it's been like a year and a half, and I've let it go as much as I'll ever let it go.

Tonight Fabish and I are going to happy hour. It's pretty exciting for me, because I've never been to a happy hour before. Oh, the excitement.

My dad took me out to lunch today, so I wasn't here when the mail got here, so I don't get to get Super Mario Brothers 3 until tomorrow. Crap.

What a great freaking weekend.

2002-09-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, yesterday was happy hour night for me and Fabish. We went to Sullivans and got free food and cheap beer. Then it was on to Oktoberfest.

It was $5 admission. That sucked. But, we paid, figuring we'd get a pass for a free beer or something like that, but all we got was a map. After walking around for a couple minutes, we felt really ripped off. We were kind of early, but there was nothing at all going on. So, we finally found a beer tent and got some tickets for beer, complaining the entire time. The ladies working the beer tap talked to us, and we kept complaining that we had just paid $9 for 1 beer. They offered us a free refill, so we stopped complaining. Little did we know that our free refill woudl turn into about 4 free refills, plus a couple of tickets for free beer they were given for volunteering. And if that wasn't enough good fortune for the night, Fabish found $21 worth of beer tickets just lying on the ground.

We even saw Polk and crew there, so we shared some of the wealth that we knew we were going to use. We left kind of early and I hung out at Fabish's for a couple hours before heading home.

And if that didn't already make for a good night, Fabish told me that I would be in his wedding party. I'm probably not the best man, unfortunately, but I was kind of worried I wasn't even going to be in the party. I mean, the wedding is in a couple months and I hadn't been asked yet. But, I was asked, and now I'm relieved.

Super Mario Brothers 3 is the greatest game ever made.

So yesterday I

2002-09-22T17:00:00-07:00

So yesterday I went with Jaimee to her dad's house. One may think that the highlight of the day was winning about 4,500 bags games in a row, but it wasn't. The highlight was trying on a bunch of my "skinny clothes" that I haven't been able to wear in over a year and have about 80% of them fit again. And even though this isn't the weekend anymore, another highlight was getting on the scale this morning and having it stop at a very solid 220. Which means I've lost 30 pounds in the last 4 months. That's almost 4 gallons of milk. 2 heavy bowling balls. 1 bag of manure. I do think I look a bit different, but not 30 pounds different.

Anyway, those were the highlights. The lowlights were very different and I don't think I need to get into them now. I had a really hard time falling asleep last night, but luckily I was able to sleep in until about 10 minutes ago. And now I plan on keep myself really busy all day to avoid thinking about anything of any importance.

In other news, when I was out with Fabish on Friday, he told me about 200 benefits of fasting for 72 hours. So, I've decided to give it a shot. It seems interesting. And even if it doesn't "clean out the toxins" as Fabish promised, it should be a good test of my will power. And it will save me a couple of bucks, too.

My email appears

2002-09-24T17:00:00-07:00

My email appears to be down, which is no fun at all.

I had planned on not producing any more Bruce/Sam VCDs, but I got a lot of orders in a short amount of time, so I'm making more. That little project has done great things for me. Hopefully I can think of a few more clever ideas and sell those on CD or, better yet, some form of eBook or something.

I'm cleaning my apartment now, but getting bored with it really quickly. Cleaning is no fun at all.

My sister seems a bit upset that she hasn't seen my new apartment yet. I keep telling her that this is the most generic apartment of all time, but it doesn't phase her much.

My fasting hasn't been doing so well. I go about 16 hours each time before I get an offer for free food. In the past few days, my dad has bought me dinner, Bibo bought me a late lunch, and mom bought me lunch just a couple minutes ago. I do want to fast for 72 hours, but I'll be damned if I give up free food for the cause. I mean, it's free.

Thus endeth an incredibly random entry.

Crap.

2002-09-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, it's not just that my email/server is down, it's that my domain expired because for some reason they didn't send me a notice saying I needed to renew it. So, this is annoying. Screw you, HostRocket!

Email still down. Still pissed off.

2002-09-26T17:00:00-07:00

Anyhoo, I had this really weird dream last night. My mom took me on a trip to Greece, and while leaving the airport for our hotel, this guy came out of nowhere and offered us a trip to Heaven. I was a bit confused and asked for more details. He started walking away, so I quickly changed my mind and said I wanted to go. It cost me like $350 and he gave me a flight plan. It was really ambiguous, of course. I had to wait a few days before take off. In Greece, I was talking to a few people about the flight to Heaven. No one had taken it themselves, but everyone claimed to know someone who knew someone who did. As the day approached, I got more and more excited to see what it was all about.

The day the plane was supposed to take off, I got to the airport and the only people there were the people going to Heaven. We all had the same idea... we weren't going to "Heaven", but we were going to like Heaven, Greece or something like that. But either way, we were curious about what was going on.

Finally the guy who sold me the ticket showed up and got us onto our plane. Just as it took off, I woke up. And now I'm pissed off. I really think I would have gone to Heaven.

Anyway, I think that would make a really good short story. Considering I haven't written a short story since high school, I don't know if I'm the one who could pull it off. But maybe I'll give it a shot anyway.

Nintendo Power

2002-09-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, I was at my sister's tonight, and while I was there I picked up our old Nintendo and all our games. It's exciting to play games like Zelda and Contra again. Although, I remember trying for at least weeks, if not months, to beat Contra with Fabish. Tonight, I beat it in like 20 minutes or so. Have I really gotten that much more coordinated? What's the deal? I can't beat Super Mario Brothers 3 anymore. Tomorrow I'll have to try some other games and see how it works out for me.

In other news, there is no other news. I'm tired and I have a headache. And my dog chewed on my screwdriver and ruined it. It's a shame that I will never, ever, ever trust her to be by herself while I sleep or run errands or anything. I'd like to have a dog that could greet me at the door rather than need to be let out of the bathroom, but until she learns not to chew on everything in the world, the bathroom it is.

Fasting: Hour 38.

2002-09-28T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, it's been 38 hours since I've put anything other than non-caloric beverages in my body. The last thing I ate: Fried mushrooms at Kouri's. It was a good last supper.

My weekend was excellent. Friday night I went to a barbeque at Fabish's (free, of course), where I saw people I hadn't seen in some time. I was sure it was going to be the night when the wedding party was announced, but alas, it wasn't. Afterwards I went to Kouri's with Polk, and after that I went to a midnight show of Office Space.

Fasting is going well. Yesterday was way harder than today has been (so far). I keep waiting to expel the toxins and such, but I'm not even sure I could tell when that happens. We'll see.

The effects of the fast/Artisitic inspiration.

2002-09-29T17:00:00-07:00

Now that I've hit hour 60 in the big fast, I've pretty much lost all desire to ever eat again. I'm really just not hungry anymore. Hopefully the hunger will come back tonight at 9 when I get to eat my first meal in 72 hours: 2 buffalo chicken sandwiches. I can't wait.

So, I got the weird sweating that people warned me about last night. I was just sitting there being hungry when all of the sudden I started sweating for like 15 minutes. Then, an hour later, same thing. Weird. I couldn't finish my 2 mile run for the first time in many months, which I blame on losing a lot of energy. But, the most shocking development.... Yesterday morning I stepped on the scale. 220. I figured I had lost a couple pounds, because I figured I had gained a couple pounds from a few nights out with Fabish, Polk, and Mullens, drinking beer and eating bar food. But today, I stepped back on the scale about 24 hours later. 216. No joke. 4 pounds in a day. Some may say that's all water weight, but I've been drinking a crapload of water, so I don't know if I believe that or not. Anyway, I also smell really bad, which I was also warned about.

Yesterday Jaimee and I went to the art show. It was a good day, and I only got slightly burned, which made it better. Those people are such a huge inspiration to me. They make art, then tour the country to sell it. What freedom. What a great career. I'm really not one who would like to tour the country all year, but I think it would be a blast to make some art, then hit a couple of mid-west art fairs during the summer or something. So that's my new goal.

It was interesting though. Most of the booths there had 1 style of painting/photography. Jaimee mentioned it, and I agreed, that my booth would not really just feature one thing. I love it all. Realistic illustration, cartoons, sculpture, etc. I'd probably have a little of everything. And I wouldn't charge billions of dollars for a print. Some of the PRINTS for sale cost like close to $200. That's ridiculous. A print only costs about $1 to make, and about 5 seconds for the artist to sign and number it. Some of these weren't even limited edition prints. Anyway.

So, that was that. Today I think I may head to Dick Blick and get some canvas to paint. I'm not a great painter, but I was inspired by some of the paintings we saw at the fair. Bright, colorful, cartoony ones that don't take a lot of painting experience to do.

You know it's

2002-10-01T17:00:00-07:00

You know, it's weird. I've been around people who are making a big effort to lose weight, and it seems like that's all they can ever talk about. But now that I'm one of those people, I'm doing the same thing. And I annoy myself every time.

So, work at the gallery is going good so far. They keep asking me to work more hours, but I'm really reluctant. I'm scraping out a living and making ends meet between the gallery work and the Bruce/Sam CDs, believe it or not. I do have a good idea for my next project, but it will take time to complete and a bit of money, which I don't have to spare.

Some days I really miss working at Iona. I mean, I hated the work. I hated the people in charge. I hated the whole "corporate" atmosphere. And I especially hated being treated like a computer monkey than an artist, a creative person. Okay, yeah, I guess I was miserable at Iona. It was the worst job I've ever had and I'm glad I'm gone. But God damn, I loved those paychecks. I loved not having to save up for 3 weeks to go buy a DVD. I loved being able to pay my rent on the day it was due rather than pushing it as far as possible for my next pay check. Those days are coming again, I'm sure, but every so often I get extremely frustrated at myself for not being there yet. I mean, it's been over a year now. But anyway.

Today, I'm cleaning the apartment. I swear.

Happy birthday to me.

2002-10-02T17:00:00-07:00

Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday dear Tim,
Happy birthday to me.

When I was a kid, up until I turned 21, I counted the days til my birthday months in advance. Now it doesn't even feel like a special day.

Screw you, 23!

My birthday was

2002-10-03T17:00:00-07:00

My birthday was good. I had to work, and was greeted by everyone at the gallery wishing me a happy birthday. That was nice. Then, Jaimee took me to dinner at Old Chicago, which was awesome. She also bought me Transformers DVDs. I had admired them every time I went to Circuit City, but always talked myself out of buying them because I'm so poor. But now I have them, and I've been watching them all day. It makes me feel young again.

Barb sent me a birthday email. That was odd. Fabish sent one too. That was nice.

My birthday dinner with the fam isn't until tomorrow night. Last I heard, they still haven't bought me a present. I told them I didn't want one since they help me so much through the year anyway. If they insist, I'll probably ask for an elliptical machine, however you spell it.

I'm also halfway anticipating going out tonight with Angie and a few others I haven't seen for a while. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

So last night

2002-10-04T17:00:00-07:00

So, last night was awesome. Me and Jaimee met up with Angie, Carissa, Brynn, and Alan at Gorman's. I hadn't been there in a long, long time, and I really missed their wings. I ate a bunch and was happy. After that, it was down to Kelleher's, however you spell it, where Mullens and Steph met up with us. Jaimee was feeling a bit under the weather, so I took her home after that, then met up with the group again at the new SOPs. Mandy and Fabish also showed up, so it was nice to see everyone again.

True Dat was playing, and they sucked. Every song they played had a "funny line", which was queer. They're a cover band, and not very good at it either. They did "Wonderwall" by Oasis, and at one point substituted "cock and balls" for "wonder wall" in the lyrics. It was really funny. Or something. Then they played "Down", by 311, but obviously they knew about half of the lyrics, tops. It was depressing to watch. And it was also way too loud.

Today I had to wake up early to go to work for a few hours. I'm still pissed off. I guess I helped, but not much. Anyone could have done the things I did today, and calling me in was a bit on the unneccessary side. I guess it's nice to get a few extra bucks, but I would have preferred a few extra hours of sleep.

In a while I'm heading to my parent's for my birthday dinner, finally.

Polk, I totally forgot that last night was our drinky-drink night. My bad.

So, it's been a few days since I've posted.

2002-10-10T17:00:00-07:00

I guess not a whole lot has happened this week. I went to work. On my days off, I worked on my Nintendo computer. I'm close to getting my Nintendo controller working with a computer, which will be really sweet once it's done.

I don't know why I didn't mention this when it happened, but I guess I got all wrapped up in my birthday posts and whatnot. The day before my birthday, me and Mullens went out for some drinks. It was just me and him, and we had a big heart to heart about our falling out that happened about a year and a half ago. I think both of us had some things we wanted to get off our chests, and it was a really good way to do it. We were both completely honest even as we said not-nice things to each other, and there weren't any interruptions or raising of voices. It was a good thing all around.

In the end, he said he wanted us to go back to the way we were when we were 19 and 20. Best friends. Called each other all the time. Did everything together. I told him that was impossible, and that I would never trust him again the way that I trusted him back then. But that doesn't mean I don't like the kid. I do. I think he's a great guy and I really like hanging out with him. It's nice to be friends again, but even though I've forgiven, I'm having a really hard time forgetting.

On Wednesday, Mullens told me that Angie was really hurt that I haven't had the same talk with her. I'd be more than happy to discuss everything with her, too, but I don't feel any kind of responsibility to call her up out of the blue to talk about it. I guess that's part of the difference. It meant enough to Mullens to call me up and start hanging out with me again, and then to initiate a long discussion about why we aren't the way we used to be. Angie is content to sit there and complain about not being friends, but doesn't care enough to do anything about it.

Ever since the falling out, I've made an effort to put myself out there for them and reciprocate anything they were willing to do. Whenever either invited me somewhere, I'd go. When they called, I'd call them back. I think that's my job. Reciprocation. Not initiation. Like I said, I haven't forgotten what happened, and I'm still really hurt every time I think about it. As far as I'm concerned, they're the ones who messed up and now it's their job to fix it as best they can. Mullens has. Angie complains that I haven't. But anyway.

This Wednesday, Jody and Alan joined me and Mullens at Hoops, which was a good time. Jody is a cool girl, and it's always good to see Alan again.

So Nintendo Computer

2002-10-13T17:00:00-07:00

So, Nintendo Computer Part II is almost finished. This one was actually harder to do than the first. But it will be way cooler.

Today Jaimee was sick, so I went over there to visit for a while. I just signed up to be a mystery shopper, and my first assignment was Hooters. I got this big long survey thing to fill out, and had to really prepare before placing my order and picking it up. But, it was a free lunch and totally worth the extra effort. I'm also hoping to mystery shop Chili's, Damon's, and other various restaurants that I want to eat at but am too poor.

Not much else interesting going on, I guess.

Nintendo computer part

2002-10-17T17:00:00-07:00

Nintendo computer part II is finished up now. It's totally sweet as anything in the world. Or maybe even sweeter. It's just cool. Pictures coming soon, hopefully.

So, I applied for another job, this time making cartoons for the web. The guy in charge emailed me back and told me that they're porno cartoons. I couldn't believe the weirdness of that. The jobs I really want always end up being porno. He linked me to a couple of cartoons that were examples of what they did, and they seemed more like NC-17 than anything else. I wouldn't necessarily be embarrased to show people these or tell them what I was doing, and it would be fun. He's looked at me work and we've scheduled a phone call to discuss animation and what I can do. So, that's encouraging, but it's still weird that it's porn.

I'm just getting back into a slump where I'm pissed off at my life. I feel like I've wasted so many years doing nothing. I hate the fact that I was always the one with heaps of potential when I was a kid. Everyone was convinced I was going to be a famous artist and be successful at a young age. Now I'm 23 and working as a God damn framer. Why did I even bother going to college? I certainly don't use anything I learned in college on a daily basis anymore. At the very least, these adult-themed cartoons would be using my college education for something.

I loved calling myself an animator/illustrator. I loved it. I loved telling people I was self employed. Hell, I even loved telling people what I did at Iona. It made me feel like something. I'm so ashamed to tell people I'm a framer. Especially people who knew me 2 years ago when I was way more "successful" than I am now. I'm just drifting. I'm looking for what I want to do with the rest of my life, but sometimes it just feels so random and pointless.

And it's discouraging failing at so many things. custom-art.com was a ridiculous failure. The freelancing thing started off great and went downhill really quick. I never got any replies from the dozens of art submissions I sent out during the summer. Sure, everything in the industry is slow right now (except for porno, apparently), but it hardly seems like an excuse.

It just seems that at this point in my life, I need to be trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. And I have no idea. And that's disappointing. I want to draw. I want to make cartoons. I want to paint. I want to create. Build. And not have 30 God damn managers and project leaders and directors and salesmen breathing down my neck all the time. But how do I make money at doing what I love? I'll tell ya when I figure it out, I guess.

Cheering up.

2002-10-18T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm feeling better now.

I had my phone conversation with the aforementioned porno guy, and it went really well. He didn't mention the porn cartoons much, and when he did, he seemed to be saying "we have enough people doing porn cartoons. We need this other kind of cartoon". The kind he's looking for are fast paced, action oriented, flashy lights type cartoons. Basically they'd be a freaking blast to work on and I'm really hoping I get it. They'd be for a site selling legal alternatives to pot, ecstacy, etc., so they're still not 100% legit, but close. And I wouldn't be ashamed at all to show friends and family what I've been working on. So that's a positive too.

He was one of those nervous types who couldn't stop talking. He stuttered a lot. Be he had lots of great ideas and I think it would be fun to work with him. At this point, I think I have a very good chance at getting at least a cartoon or 2 finished for him.

At the end of the conversation I was feeling good about the whole thing and I knew I had a shot to work with him. He pointed me in the direction of a couple of drawings he really liked and told me he wanted me to copy the style and do a drawing for him in that style. He'd pay me $35 just to see what I could do. I told him no problem. He said he wanted it in 20 minutes. I said there was a problem. He gave me an hour.

Basically, I couldn't do it. I was trying to do it so fast and it just came out looking like ass. I redid it a few times, but it never looked right. Finally my hour was gone (plus a little more), and I had nothing to show for it. I emailed him a lame excuse (a lie, too) about why I couldn't get it done but promised him the drawing by the end of the night. I took a short break to yell and be pissed off, then tried 1 more time. And I got it done. And it looked pretty okay to me. But he absolutely loved it. He wants me to do another one now. Which is encouraging.

But man, last night I sure felt like shit when I couldn't draw this thing. I was so frustrated. I mean, drawing is what I think I'm supposed to do with my life in one way or another, and I couldn't draw this damn cartoon girl? What kind of artist am I? But in the end, I finished it and the client is happy and he wants another, and I'm about 75% sure that this will lead into me making a cartoon for him. So things are good. And the cartoon won't be porn. And that makes me happy. And I'm using my college education, which is good. And it will give me something to do and make me feel not worthless on the days I don't go to the gallery. And I'm down to a legitimate (not a fake) 217. Go Tim.

I got the

2002-10-19T17:00:00-07:00

I got the job. The cartoon job. Making a cartoon. This is like the 2nd time in my career I've been paid to make a cartoon, so I'm pumped about it. And it's not porn. And it will be fun to work on. I'm back to being an animator after a short time off.

I'm not getting paid as much as I would have liked, but it doesn't matter. This is going to be fun and will get me some exposure, and he promises a pay raise once I prove myself as good and reliable. He told me he was in discussions with dozens of animators and illustrators, but he's only giving 3 of them the chance to make a cartoon, and I'm one of them. Maybe I don't suck as much as I thought I did.

Today I'm really busy. I have some work to do for the guy and the cartoon, I have to start typing up my Nintendo tutorial, I have to go to my parent's and pick up my laundry. So it's a busy day.

Livejournal - Year 2

2002-10-20T17:00:00-07:00

Yep. Today is my 2nd LJ anniversary. What an exciting time, eh?

So, let's see. Where was I a year ago compared to where I am now... well... about the same I guess. Compared to last year, this year has been really, really uneventful. The best thing to happen this year was Jaimee moving to Peoria. Also, my nephew was born this year. And I got a job at an art gallery. And those are about the most eventful things.

I moved. I got this new boring apartment way far north in Peoria. It's proof that I'm turning into an old, old man. No more keggers or parties or any of that for me. I'm 23 now and looking for whatever it is I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life. And that's weird.

A year ago I was self employed, living with Alan and Fabish, and I loved it. I had work to do most of the time, but I would blow it off to watch TV with them, especially when a Junkyard Wars marathon happened to be on. These days when I'm not at the gallery, I don't really do much at all because I can't find any work to do. So that makes me miserable and makes me feel like a loser. All that is about to change, though, I can feel it in my bones. Next year I'll be updating this thing as a 24 year old millionaire, wondering how I got through more than a year of absolutely no money.

Yeah, last year was a pretty big year. This year... not so much. I wish I could bore you all to death and fill pages and pages with an update, but I can't, really. This is about it.

Nintendo Computer

2002-10-20T17:00:00-07:00

Nintendo Computer, the sequel

So I guess

2002-10-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, I guess it's been a while since I've posted.

The cartoon job is going well. It's all planned out, characters are designed, and I actually start animating today. The guy I'm working with is a really nice guy, who can hopefully give me a lot of work soon. He even funded a 22 minute cartoon, which is mediocre at best, but set him back many thousands of dollars. I would absolutely love to get one of those jobs.

On Wednesday we went out to Hoops again. This may be our last Wednesday at Hoops. They changed their drink specials, it was ridiculously crowded, and Steve, the bartender, is a jerk with hair too horrible to look at.

On Friday, me, Jaimee, and Mullens went down to Kelleher's to see Jody, Alan, and some Irish band. That was a fun time, although Polk is a punk ass and backed out.

Yesterday was a lazy day at home. I didn't ever take off my pajamas, except to go jogging and take a shower. My mom bought me a vacuum cleaner, so I don't have to use Jaimee's anymore.

This morning I

2002-10-29T17:00:00-07:00

This morning I woke up bright and early (for me) to go jogging. I've decided that when I don't work at the gallery, I want to jog 2 miles, twice a day. I've done that for 3 or 4 days now. This morning I was getting ready when I realized my calves hurt like a motherfucker. At first it felt like a cramp, but it wasn't going away. After standing there in agony for a while, the pain subsided a bit. Now I can't even tell I messed something up except when I walk around. I just walk carefully. I may take tonight off from the jogging thing to heal.

Plus, it's time for me to get an eliptical machine anyway. Last night every time I exhaled, my glasses fogged up. Even this morning I could see my breath when I was out walking Winnie. I think that means it's time to stay inside. I've also started doing sit ups and push ups again in addition to my jogging. But all the hard work is paying off. I stepped on the scale this morning. 211. Which means if I starved myself today, I could hit the big 210 landmark by tomorrow and eat me a #4 value meal from McDonald's. And it also means I've lost 40 pounds, which is halfway to my goal. Wait... only halfway? Shit.

In any case, I don't think I'm going to eat a #4 value meal just yet. I'm on a roll, and don't want to ruin it. Maybe McDonald's can wait until 200.

I've also decided that I hate my beard, but I will not cut it off until I hit 200, as a bit of extra motivation for me. I've also decided that I won't even trim my beard between 210 and 200, as even more motivation.

This has been an update on the dieting life of me.

Tonight Jack is coming over dressed as Spider-Man. I have to get out of the house for a bit to go to the store and get some candy for the trick or treaters. And I have to clean a bit. And I have to work on my cartoon. So it's busy, but that's okay.

It was a

2002-10-30T17:00:00-07:00

It was a weird night last night. Me and Mullens went to Sully's for some hot wings, and while getting ready to leave, the waitress spilled all sorts of beer on me. Tons of it. I thought that mistake would have gotten us free food, but all it got me was 4 free drinks of beer.

Then it was on to Hoops. This is where things get weird. We were at a table and sharing it with a group of people who were really, really trashy. One of the guys was pretty cool and kept talking to us and telling jokes and such. A few of them got up to go to the bar, and the cool guy went to the bathroom. About 15 seconds later, one of the girls smashed a beer glass against the bar and started screaming at some guy, calling him an asshole and such. She was escorted out. Later we found out that some random guy at the bar offered her boyfriend a shot, saying that the only way he'd ever take her home is if he was completely smashed. Well, the boyfriend went off and started screaming and we were about 10 seconds away from a bar fight. The bartender escorted him out, and we thought that was it. By this time, the cool guy was back at our table, claiming to be with us rather than the group who had just been kicked out. It was pretty obvious who he was with, but I guess it was worth a shot.

So, about 20 seconds later the boyfriend walks back into the bar and starts yelling at the bartender and at the guy who offered him the shot. I heard a lot of "fucks" and a lot of "pussies" as he screamed. He demanded his change back for a drink he had bought, but said the bartender kept the change. He kept screaming and eventually they called the cops. A few minutes later they were questioning the whole group outside and a cop came in to get the stray guy who was still at our table. They asked us a few questions about what we saw, but we weren't much help. We didn't really know any more than anyone else in the bar.

Also, another girl, in an unrelated story, was picked up later for puking and collapsing in front of Hoops. It was an eventful night.

My apartment is

2002-10-31T17:00:00-07:00

My apartment is very cold. The hallway leading into my apartment is very warm. How do I harness the warmth of the hall and use it for my own benefit?

Thinspiration

2002-11-02T17:00:00-07:00

So, I've lost close to 40 pounds now. I've noticed a difference in the way I look and others have said they notice one too. But it has never been so apparent as when Jaimee got back her last roll of film. I guess it had been in her camera for a while, so there were old pictures on it. We used the last of the roll on Halloween.

Here's me at my heaviest:

And me a few days ago:

Yeah, I saw a difference after looking at those 2 pictures. Weird. Just wait until I drop these last 40 pounds. I'll be irresistable, I tell ya.

And here's a picture of me with my ridiculously cute nephew and ridiculously cute dog:

Lately it's been

2002-11-05T17:00:00-07:00

Lately it's been like 5 degrees here in central Illinois. I usually go jogging at night, but it's gotten too cold. I switched to mornings, but even that got too cold for me. So, I broke down and bought an elliptical machine today. I'm broke as shit, but I really want to keep exercising and losing weight, so it was something I had to do. Plus it's only going to cost me $10/month, and I got a really good deal on a really nice one because it was missing some parts and was bent up in a few places.

I've also decided that, in addition to not trimming the beard, I will not drink beer between 210-200 lbs. You heard right. But, I've also decided that I'm not going to even bother weighing myself until I'm confident I'm at 205 or so. It's cheating the system, but since I created the system, I've decided it's okay.

My cartoon is going SO SLOW. I'm probably 2 minutes into it now. I've given up the dream of having it 100% done by the November 10th deadline, but I do hope to have it finished without sound effects or music. We'll see.

The guy paying

2002-11-07T17:00:00-07:00

The guy paying me for the cartoon has gotten kind of anxious for it or something, I think. He's kind of been bugging me for a sneak peek, so last night I sent him what I had done and talked to him about it. He didn't seem overly enthusiastic about mine, which was expected. I think mine is incredibly average. But he did say that mine was about 1,000 times better than the others he'd received.

The way he was talking, it seems like we're going to do a lot of work together, which is good. Hopefully after this one, I'll be paid a more fair rate for the work I'm doing. There was even talk about a serial cartoon with it's own site "sponsored" by his site. All good talk, definitely.

I love being an animator again. I also love my elliptical machine.

Me and Polk

2002-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

Me and Polk went out for Chinese food and beers on Friday. It was good times. It was also nice to resurrect our Friday night outting after a couple weeks of it being interrupted with different stuff.

Saturday I had to work. That was lame. Brian Kelly was in town, so he, John Zarr and I went out for a couple drinks to catch up with each other. Today me and Jaimee saw 8 Mile. I don't have much to say about that movie other than it was really, really, really, really good. Eminem was impressively good at acting, although I can't imagine it was much of a stretch for him to play that part. Great flick. I recommend it to everyone.

The rest of today has been spent on that fucking cartoon. Now it's getting annoying. I just can't get ahead on it. Everything goes slower than I think it's going to, and I'm getting pissed off that I'm getting paid so little for so much work. The other people got paid the same as me for cartoons that absolutely sucked. I guess this will lead to bigger better things for me (I hope), but until then, I'm just frustrated.

Holy debt relief, Batman!

2002-11-10T17:00:00-07:00

I'd heard a rumor that if I called in and tried to cancel my GM card that they would give me all sorts of deals to make me keep it. I only half-believed the rumors until I gave it a shot today. I told them I wanted to cancel and within 5 minutes I'd lowered my interest rate by 6% and my transfer rate by 8%. I increased my credit line an extra $1000. So, the plan is to transfer my debt from my other card onto my GM card. Then I'll have just 1 monthly bill at low, low interest. I'm about $2600 in credit card debt, so hopefully these changes will make it easier for me. Instead of $30-40/month in financing fess, I'll be paying $10-15. Debt free life, here I come!

Riot Act

2002-11-11T17:00:00-07:00

So, Pearl Jam's new album, Riot Act, is freaking awesome. After being really let down by Binaural, it's good to see them back on track with a kick ass, yet mellow entry. It reminds me a lot of No Code, where no song really sounds like typical Pearl Jam, and every song is very, very different from the last.

Also, Pearl Jam tried really hard to keep the cost of this CD down, taking the stance that less people will pirate if music isn't so ridiculously overpriced. As a result, I picked it up for $11 at Circuit City. You should buy it just to support low CD prices.

Someone at Best Buy isn't a fuckhole.

2002-11-11T17:00:00-07:00

Finally! Justice has almost been served! After a battle with Best Buy lasting more than a year, I finally get a call from someone who wants to help me out. A guy named Brad McCoy called me today regarding my latest Best Buy complaints, asking me to send him the rainchecks I received. He's going to show them to someone in charge and either get me a gift certificate or actually redeem the rainchecks.

Best Buy still sucks, but suddenly they suck a lot less.

Also, Pearl Jam's latest album comes out today. I recommend you go pick it up.

My third and final update for the day, I promise.

2002-11-12T17:00:00-07:00

My cartoon is finished! Well, sort of. I need music and sound effects, but it should be finished-finished by tomorrow. All the animation is done. It clocks in at just over 3 minutes. I'm pleased with certain parts of it, but overall, I think it's a very average cartoon. I know I can do much better, but not for the price he paid for it.

I'll post a link once it's completely done, sound effects and all. I know you're all very curious. Okay, I know most of you couldn't care less. But still.

I finished my

2002-11-14T17:00:00-07:00

I finished my cartoon. I sent it away to the guy who needed to see it. He was... well... unimpressed, I guess. I mean, I thought it was pretty average myself, but I also thought that it was absolutely the best cartoon he could have bought with the money he wanted to spend on it. He kept comparing it to this other web toon he saw. He said himself that this other 90 second toon was created by a team of 6 people over the course of a month. My 3 minute toon was created by 1 guy over the course of 2 weeks. Of course it wasn't going to be as good as the other one. In the end, I told him I was capable of the type of cartoon he was looking for, but not for the kind of money he was willing to pay, and not in the unreasonable amount of time he gave me to do it. But it's frustrating. I doubt this will lead to anything else, really. His expectations are too high. He'll probably spend a long time looking for someone and never find them. But, such is life, and I guess I never put too much stock into it anyway. I was hoping I could work for him for a long time and get some consistent income out of the deal, but I've learned to not bank on that ever happening. Freelancing is a frustrating business. I'm not sure how much longer I can live with being so ridiculously poor. And on top of it all, my stereo is about 15 seconds away from dying. I've learned to love my surround sound, and I'm not sure if I can go back. But, until I get some of this debt paid off, I'm sure I can't afford a new one.

But, I'm keeping my chin up through it all. Or trying to, at least.

Sam Diaz sent me an email today. I went to college with him. He was the 1 of 2 guys I knew in college who actually hung out with me when we weren't in class. At the time, I was underage, but he'd buy me beer. We'd go get some pizza and eat it and drink beer under overpasses and on street corners. I don't have many fond memories of Chicago, but being a hoodlum on the streets with Sam are good ones. We used to walk around thrift stores and buy t-shirts and coats. So, it was good to hear from him again.

Holy crap. It

2002-11-15T17:00:00-07:00

Holy crap. It sure is snowing hard. None of it is sticking, but it's still nice to look out my window and see snow.Yay Winter!

Well it's time

2002-11-15T17:00:00-07:00

Well, it's time to start looking for a full time job again, I think. I hate doing it. I hate giving up. But I think I just started at a bad time to start. Job boards online are a friggin' joke anymore. People just post a job and never close it, never reply to me or (probably) any of the other applicants. Things on the web and multimedia field are just kind of stopped. The business ventures I've taken lately have been unprofitable, considering how much time I spend on each project to make so little money. I'm sick of living like a poor fuck and wasting away my college education doing nothing related to what I went to school for. So, it's time to do something else.

A place here in town is looking for a web designer. I'm going to apply. I'm not really a web designer, per se, but I can do the job that they require. Plus, hopefully they'll see that I'm better at other tasks and put me somewhere else. Even after I get a full time job, I'll probably stay at the gallery, working on nights and weekends to pay off some of my debt. And this will give me some consistent income to pursue business ventures that require me to have money.

So, I'm not going to look too hard for a job. I'll scope out the newspapers every couple of days, and places like monster.com and apply only to ones that I think will use my degree in some way. Maybe on my days off I'll just drive to every multimedia/design place in Peoria and drop off my resume and see what happens. I hate giving up, but I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I already feel like shit borrowing so much from my dad to make ends meet every month... I can't imagine doing it for years to come. Nothing is on the horizon for me. Nothing is coming. I have no other great money making schemes. Maybe it's time to take a break, stop living in the clouds, and get a real job like the rest of the population. That just sucks.

The search has

2002-11-20T17:00:00-07:00

The search has begun. I went out on Monday and handed my resume to a few secretaries who probably just threw it away. But that's okay. I did talk to the owner of one smaller company, but that was in Washington. The more I think about it, the more I really don't want to drive like 25 minutes to get to work. But still. The web designer position at the other place had already been filled.

I am getting a lot of portrait jobs for Christmas, though. Lots of them. So, I guess I'm keeping myself fairly busy.

Not much else going on I guess. There was some snow on the ground when I woke up this morning. That's 2 snowfalls in November. Is it going to be a white Christmas?

What's going on

2002-11-24T17:00:00-07:00

What's going on with my LJ friends these days? No one is updating anymore. Not even me, I guess.

Yesterday I had to go out to my parents house to help my dad install one of those new antennas, since he has a satellite and doesn't get local stations. So I climbed onto the roof while it was half frozen and snowing, risking my life so my mom could get 4 more stations. Not that I'm complaining.

Since I'm too broke to buy anyone Christmas presents this year, I've decided to make everyone something. I've started most of the projects now. Between my family's projects and a couple of portraits I have to do, I'm going to be pretty busy between now and then, even on my days off.

awesome.

2002-12-01T17:00:00-07:00

awesome.

What an exciting

2002-12-01T17:00:00-07:00

What an exciting week. I've been putting in more and more time at the gallery. I don't want to, and I don't particularly care if the jobs due get finished on time or not. I go because the people I work with will freak out if I don't, and I stay longer because I really need the cash. And speaking of cash, I've suddenly gotten the urge that I'm not quite pathetic enough, so I'm going to take the last step into patheticness and try to collect unemployment. It's time to face the facts that I am no longer a freelancer. I haven't had any freelance jobs for a long ass time, unless you count the ones I do and don't get paid for. Basically I get my money from the gallery, selling shit on eBay, and my dad. Collecting unemployment will just get me in the mindset that I need to really focus in on getting a full time job that applies to my major and incorporates my artistic talent, since I've wasted that enough as it is. I do feel a bit bad for trying to get free government money, but I have rent to pay and I'm sick of begging my dad. Things just suck financially, and I need a bit of help getting back into a stable, good place. So there's that.

Jaimee's car had some issues that needed to be resolved, so my dad and I spent the weekend taking her engine apart, replacing the water pump, and putting it back together again. It reminds me of pretty much every single car I've ever owned, until the Camaro. Wait until something breaks, then spend a few days fixing it, then wait until something else breaks. Eventually you will have replaced everything in the car and it'll run forever. At least that's what happened with the Bluick.

Turkey Day was good times. Jaimee came out to my family get together with my dad's side of the family. Thanksgiving is usually celebrated with my mom's side, but I'm glad we broke that tradition. Unfortunately, that means Christmas will probably be with them. And that will be no fun. Turkey Day did slow down the 'ole diet, I'm afraid, and I haven't really checked the scale in a few days. I don't plan on checking it until I'm confident that I'm REALLY close to 200. My ego can't take it at this point.

I was really looking forward to the Saved by the Bell True Hollywood Story, but I was really let down. No real scandals or anything I didn't know, really.

Wow...

2002-12-01T17:00:00-07:00

So, for those of you "in the know", I used to maintain a really, really ridiculously extensive and high-traffic website about the movie Army of Darkness. In it's prime, the site got close to 5,000 visitors a week, and I was kicked off many, many servers for going over my bandwidth. While that's not rare these days, it's rare that a page dedicated to a movie that was 10 years old can get such traffic. I got a lot of stupid email about the site and took it down several times when I got too frustrated with it. To my surprise, people had downloaded the entire site and mirrored it in other places, so it never really went away. In the 3 or 4 years I maintained it, I got tons of free movies, free software, and free interviews with Bruce Campbell himself. At one point I was approached by the current maintainers of bruce-campbell.com to be the "Official" Army of Darkness site, but I turned them down because they would have made me delete all the cuss words and update every few days. It was just too much responsibility in high school. Anyway, the site can still be seen on the 'net... one of the aforementioned people who mirrored it never took it down. You can see it here: http://www.neises.com/ode2ash/aod/.

Anyway, the reason I mention all this now is this email I got today. It was pretty much the last thing I expected to see in my inbox. Enjoy.

Dear Tim,

I don't know if you remember me. It's been almost 5 years since I first
annoyed you with my newbie antics. 5 years ago, your Essential AoD site
was one of the first websites I visited. It had tons of stuff, like
pictures and sounds, all the goodies that made up a good site back in
those days. Plus the design was pretty cool too. But after a while you
closed the site. I've always felt partial responsible since I once
emailed you that I took all your pictures to use for my site, which I
actually never finished, and you told me it was rude to just take the
pictures instead of asking if I could use them. It thought me a valueble
lesson.
However you returned with your AoD site. You trimmed down the content
since all the other ED/AoD sites already had all the pics and wavs. The
design on the other hand was superb, and it was red. You managed to
create a site with red as background, wow. Plus when I saw it on
1024x768 you had this bonus frame where lucky people could download a
wallpaper. Once more the newbie me emailed you attaching your own logo.
That wasn't so smart of me. And after that, even though you already
wrote you didn't want to zip the alternate ending, I emailed you why,
because on dial-up it costed me 90 minutes to download the 10Mb movie,
and ofcourse the connection broke at 99%. Nowadays it takes 3 minutes to
download 10Mb.
So in my first months on the internet I managed to piss you off at least
three times. I was such a n00b, like it took me 6 months to realise that
resizing in a WYSIWYG editor doesnt mean the image is smaller to
download. I adored you as webdesigner, and I always thought you and Pete
Neises where responsible for the major overhauls on Evil Dead websites a
few years ago, when design became more important. Although I always
thought it was a shame you got rid of the red EAoD design.

Anyway, what I want to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry I irritated you with
my inexperience.

Herald

But in my own way, I am king.
Hail to the king baby.

Holy crap. I

2002-12-05T17:00:00-07:00

Holy crap. I just fixed my digital camera. It's supposed to turn off when you close the cover, but for the past few years, it hasn't. So it just sucks up batteries and is annoying to use. Since I've been taking stuff apart for fun the past few weeks, I took my camera apart, found the problem, and fixed it. Of course, it's still a craptacular camera I bought like 7 years ago, but I fixed it. And that's what counts.

Yeah so I

2002-12-05T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so, I kind of have a social life again. And it's with Mullens and Angie, the people who I would have suspected the last people to be friends with if you asked me 6 months ago. We had a falling out, but I've had time to come to terms with the whole situation. So, on Monday, Mullens called me from the bar he works at, complaining that there were no customers and he was bored. I went down for a few drinks. For a while, I was just sitting by myself at the bar like a lonely drunk, but Angie and Mullens' sister Steph came in, so I had some company later on. On Tuesday, Angie invited me to have drinks with Fuller to celebrate his birthday. I never really had a falling out with Fuller, but we don't get along anymore. We just sort of went our seperate ways, I guess. He hasn't really changed since we were 14, so the people that HAVE matured don't really want to spend time with him anymore. But it was nice to catch up with him for the first time in like 8 or 9 months.

On Wednesday, I was invited down to Hoops, but politely declined. I'm an old man and can't go out drinking every night anymore.

Goodbye, facial hair.

2002-12-15T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm not quite 200 pounds yet, but I have gotten really sick of my stupid beard and my stupid long hair. So, this morning, I decided to cut it all off. Now I kind of wish I hadn't. I look a lot like how I looked when I was 11 or 12. I've decided that maybe no hair, no facial hair doesn't work for me. I need at least 1 to look okay. So, I've decided to grow back some sort of goatee or something until the hair on my head catches of. That will do nicely.

Nothing else has been going on, really. I'm making a lot of progress on my Christmas presents for everyone, as well as portraits I'm doing for money. Exciting stuff.

I can't decide if this is good or bad.

2002-12-19T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so, I got an email from eBay today, saying an eBay member complained about the Within the Woods VCDs I had for sale, saying I violated a copyright. The eBay user... a mister Samuel Raimi. Can you believe that? So, this email from eBay included Sam's email address, eBay user ID, and a lot of other stuff about him. While I'm not going to give this information away, I will say that Sam buys some WEIRD stuff on eBay.

Anyhoo, I've emailed him to see what it would take to actually get the rights to these old movies and sell them legally and legitimately. I'm not sure if he'll respond. I think if I could make a killing on this collection if I put it on DVD and could sell them legally, to big markets and video stores and such. We'll see what response I get...

So I semi-officially

2002-12-19T17:00:00-07:00

So, I semi-officially weighed in at 200 the other day, which is a loss of a ridiculous 50 pounds in the last 7 months. To celebrate, Jaimee and I went out with a group of people to Hoops. I ate too much pizza and drank too much beer, but had a good time. This was followed by dinner at Hooters the next day, where I ate too much fried food, and the first french fries I'd had in a long, long time. As a result, I suspect that I'm back over 200, but scared to step on the scale again for the next few days.

Nothing else happening, I guess.

Picking up where we left off...

2002-12-25T17:00:00-07:00

So, Christmas was awesome. I got a lot of great stuff, including an awesome jigsaw that I will put to good use, a Homer action figure, a dust buster, bunches of DVDs, some silverware, and yadda yadda yadda. I've also gone out far too often this week, but it's Christmas, and Wolford was in town, and I like to drink beer and have a good time.

On Sunday, me and Jaimee attended Polk's Sunday night party for the first time. I was feeling a bit too fat to drink beer, so I didn't. Monday, we all met at Sully's for lunch, then went to Jimmy's in the evening for some drinks. After Jimmy's, we headed downtown where everyone got completely trashed out of their minds, especially Wolford. Christmas Eve was relatively uneventful. Me and Jaimee exchanged presents, then called it a night early and I went to bed earlier than I've gone to bed in a long, long time.

Christmas morning I was woken up by a couple of men screaming at each other in the parking lot of my building. That was a good way to wake up on Christmas if you ask me. Me and Jaimee headed to my parent's to exchange presents, then left in a hurry to get to her dad's place for more present exchanging. Jaimee won some cash there, but I lost a lot of her winnings for her since I'm such a great boyfriend.

We headed home to meet a couple people at Hoops. I didn't know what to expect hanging out at a bar on Christmas night. There were more people there than I thought there would be. It was me, Alan, Jody, Wolford, Steph, and Jaimee. We had some pizza, some drinks, and called it a night around 2:30 or so, after witnessing a fight (a lame one), a homeless man getting thrown out of a bar, and some guy getting pulled over by an excessive amount of cop cars.

And now that's all over. I'm really wanting to go vegetarian soon, but events keep popping up that are stopping me from doing it. Soon enough, I'll go veg for a little while. I'm looking forward to it in a weird way.

I have a cut in the webbing between my fingers. It hurts.

That's my story.

Wow. And I'm

2002-12-29T17:00:00-07:00

Wow. And I'm linked from whatever the hell this is. Who knew the internet wanted to see some exploding toilets?

Wow I sure

2002-12-29T17:00:00-07:00

Wow, I sure am linked from weird links. junkmachine is finally getting some much deserved publicity. Maybe I should actually update it.

The official weigh-in

2002-12-30T17:00:00-07:00

The official weigh-in today: 205. That means I did 4 or 5 pounds of damage in the past (almost) 2 weeks. That's not so bad. A small pothole on my way to 170. Starting tomorrow, I'm vegetarian for a week. This time I mean it.

As noted by

2003-01-01T17:00:00-07:00

As noted by Bryan and Jaimee's journals, New Years Eve was an excellent time. I got driz-unk and partied like a rock star, all without throwing up. I did comeclose a few times, and I sure did feel really shitty the next morning, but I managed to keep the liquer down. I've also noticed that hangovers don't last as long when you're in better shape. There's a tip for everyone interested.

I should go into work today, but I don't think I'm going to. I need to clean this joint up, and my dad is coming over at 5 so we can start on our big money making experience. I'll go in tomorrow.

So, the big New Years Resolution this year seems to be to lose weight and get in shape. I'd also like to add myself to that ever growing list. I want to lose 30 more pounds and be "in shape" for the first time in my life. I don't really know what "in shape" means, but I have a small list of feats I'd like to be able to accomplish by the time I'm through with this whole dieting thing.

I'd also like to buy a house, get a consistent paycheck somehow, and stop being so god damn poor all the time.

holy crap that's

2003-01-02T17:00:00-07:00

holy crap, that's awesome.
i'm linked to from here, too.
here, too.
bucket 'o chicken?

There's others, but no need to get cocky, right?

Another interview?

2003-01-05T17:00:00-07:00

That's right, kiddies, I'm on my way to employment! Tomorrow I have 2 interviews. 1 at 4:00 at a company which I actually know what they do. I'll hopefully be a 4 color pressman. The other is the mystery interview part 2 at 5:55. Exciting times.

Mysterious interview REVEALED! Sort of.

2003-01-05T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so I'm back from the mysterious mystery interview, and let me say that I still don't really have any idea what happened while I was there.

I got to the office where this interview was to be held and was amazed to see a room full of about 40 people there, all filling out applications. On the huge dry-erase board was a bit of information about this company, as well as the positions available. They had advertising, sales, service, and customer service positions available. The application was short and sweet, and the guy gave us all a bit of information about the company, although non of it was too specific. He asked us questions personally and focused in on me a bit for, I think, a few reasons.

He asked who had owned their own business. I raised my hand along with about 10 other people. He followed that question with "Who knows was DBA stands for?" I was the only one who could answer it correctly ("doing business as..." for those of you keeping track at home. I had to file all sorts of DBA applications to get my merchant account). Then he asked who had worked under profit sharing before, and I was the only one to raise my hand for both questions. He asked for details from me and others, before launching into a tyrade about how he's the most honest business man in the world.

So, he said this "interview" was for them, and the 2nd "interview would be for us. Out of about 200 applicants, they're going to call 20-30 of us back for a 2nd interview. If, after the 2nd interview, we want the job, it's ours. He also said that about 20% decide not to take the job after the 2nd interview, so we'll see.

As we left, he talked to all of us singularly. I handed him my application as well as my resume, which he promptly handed back saying he didn't need it. He looked over the application for a couple seconds, then asked for the resume back. He glanced over that and said "I look forward to seeing you at the 2nd interview. Call this number at exactly 5:05 for the details". He handed me a card with the name "Maria" and a phone number.

As I got into my car, I realized that I still haven't the foggiest idea about what this company is or what I'll be doing for them. I circled "advertising" on my application as the job I'd most like to have out of the ones listed on the board. There was also all sorts of posters in the "interview" room which listed company mottos and mantras. I read most of them, but it didn't help me figure anything out. I guess he'll go through that at the second interview, which I will find out if I have in about an hour.

Welcome back to the land of the working!

2003-01-05T17:00:00-07:00

Well, not yet, but I'm busy applying to all sorts of jobs today. I just called 1 lady whose ad offers a $1000 sign on bonus and $530/week starting pay. I doubt that I'll get either of those if I get the job, but it's worth a shot.

The problem is that I have no idea what the company does. When I called, it seemed like they were looking for a delivery driver, since she asked me about a reliable car and such. But that seems a bit odd. Their ad said they were looking for all sorts of positions. I guess I'll ask about it during the interview. This is just the first time I've ever applied to, and been interviewed for, a job that I have no idea what it is. Hm.

Mystery interview finally revealed.

2003-01-07T17:00:00-07:00

I was suspicious, and with good reason. They wanted me to sell air purifiers or some such thing. It was a crock. I feel like a chump for even going. Ah well, live and learn.

On the other hand, my other interview today went great. I'm pretty sure I'm a shoe in for the position. It's definitely not what I would love to do, but it's money. I'm not exactly sure how much I'll make, although I can pretty much guarantee it's not as much as I made at Iona. Between that job and the gallery, I may be doing okay, but it will be long, long days. I have a second interview with them tomorrow. I'd basically be doing the same thing I did at Kinko's, minus the customers, plus a little more design thrown in. Plus I was already told today that there would be a lot of down time. I love me my down time.

How well job interviews go when you assume you don't have the job.

2003-01-08T17:00:00-07:00

So, I went in for my 2nd interview at the print place today. It went fairly well with the exception of salary talks. The manager of the place told me that they would offer me $9/hour to start, with the promise that I would move up to $10 within 2 months. He made sure to mention that $9/hour is a very fair rate for the job I would be doing. At that point, I said "Well, that's just not enough. Thanks for your time, though." and I got up to leave. He stopped me, saying that the owner and president of the company wanted to talk to me.

So he leaves and the owner comes in. We just have a pleasant conversation where he asks me what I want to do with my life. I told him I wasn't quite sure, but I wanted to own my own business, maybe with a few parters, where we actually created and sold something, whatever that "something" turned out to be. He was kind of pressing me for information, and finally said "So, if this job is in no way related to what you want to do for the rest of your life, why are you applying for it?" I answered "I'm broke. I have credit card bills and need to pay the rent." He replied "Thank you for not bullshitting me. That's the answer I expected."

We talked a bit more and he mentioned the direction he wanted the company to take. In addition to keeping their print services, he also wanted to expand into graphic design and illustration. He needed someone to work there who already knew about these, but he didn't have anyone. He asked if I would be open to that position. I said absolutely. Unfortunately, that position is only a possibility, and it's not even a possibility for a few more months. But, regardless, he said "Would $10/hour keep you working here until that position opened up?" to which I replied "No. I'm not sure I could even support myself on $10/hour for a couple months." "So what would happen if we hired you at $10/hour?" "Well, I'd keep looking for another job that paid better, and I'd leave when I found it."

He seemed to like the fact that I wasn't just blowing smoke up his ass to get myself the job. At that point he asked me how much it would take to hire me and keep me there until the graphic design thing panned out. I told him $12 or $13/hour. He didn't seem to put off by that figure, wrote it down, and just continued to chat with me. He asked me how $13/hour compared to my pay at Iona, and I told him it was significantly less. I think he realizes that hiring someone with my background into a company who is making the dive into graphic design is a smart, smart move. Hopefully he also realizes that paying me what I'm asking for is a bargain. We'll see what happens, and in the mean time, I'm still looking for another job.

I also have to work about 1,000 hours at the gallery today for the hospital job. That will be so much fun I can't handle it! YAY!

So my 1

2003-01-09T17:00:00-07:00

So, my 1,000 hours at the gallery today turned out to be about 9. Not too bad, I guess.

I had to return some DVDs I got for Christmas and exchanged them for a ton of old, crappy movies. I got the Sleepaway Camp boxed set, Kung Pow, Big Trouble in Little China, Jason goes to Hell, and the Time Machine. I guess The Time Machine isn't old or crappy, but still. Kung Pow was way funnier than I expected.

Jaimee has been teaching my dog bad habits, so I'm going to have to spend the next few days setting her straight again. I should get one of those little things that shocks her when she jumps on the couch or something. But those cost money, and I have none of that.

It's been an

2003-01-13T17:00:00-07:00

It's been an eventful couple of days, I guess.

On Saturday Mullens called me, letting me know that he's been called up from reserve to active duty as of today. Kind of shocking for someone like me who doesn't keep up on the news or have any clue what's going on in the world most of the time. So he ships out on Saturday at the earliest. On Sunday and yesterday there were some gatherings to wish him a safe trip and such.

My plan was to not go out drinking or go out to eat until Fabish's bachelor party, which is on Saturday. But this kind of threw a wrench into those plans. I'm sure everything will work out in a good way, but still.

In other news, I got my new digital camera, which is pretty much the awesomest camera ever. I love it.

And in still other news, I've been trying extra hard to reverse the damages that New Years and Christmas did to my belly. I gained about 5 or 6 pounds in about 12 days of drinking too much, eating way too much, and no exercise. But those damaged have been reversed now, and that was confirmed when I stepped on the scale this morning to see I weighed in at an amazing 199. That's right, kiddies, I'm strolling triumphantly back into the 100's! Barely, but still.

Tonight I'm forcing myself to eat broccoli.

Okay so this

2003-01-19T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so this weekend was pretty great.

Friday was a lazy night, just sitting around watching movies with Jaimee. On Saturday I woke up nice and early to pack and get ready for Fabish's bachelor party. Alan picked me up at about 9:30, and we went to pick up a couple other guys who were heading down with us. We hit up a nice sports bar where we drank huge glasses of beer and ate possibly the best ribs I've ever eaten. Then it was on to the basketball game which I couldn't have cared less about.

Apparently it was a game I should have paid attention to, though. Some guy made a shot as the buzzer went off that just happened to win the game. The refs had a meeting for almost 20 minutes to decide if it should count or not. We left early, so we didn't find any of this out until we got to the next bar.

We spent a few hours bar hopping and trying to convince Fabish that going to a strip club would be a really good idea. He wasn't ever convinced, and no one ended up going to a strip club. Ah well, such is life.

We didn't get back to the hotel until around 3:30 or so, and I woke up around 8:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. I was really tired yesterday.

Yesterday was also Jack's first birthday party, so Jaimee and I picked out a present for him with my leftover bachelor party fund and partied with my parents and a bunch of people I didn't know. After that, we came home and both fell asleep on my couch right around 8:30.

And now, after 12 hours of sleep, I'm feeling great. Never been better.

That was my weekend.

I applied for

2003-01-21T17:00:00-07:00

I applied for a graphic design position at another print shop here in Peoria, but they haven't called me back yet. It's a really bad time to be looking for a job, I suspect. I can't find anything. Maybe I should have just taken that crap job where I would have been underpaid. At least it would have been work, right? Ya win some, ya lose some. I've just lost a lot lately.

I did go to another interview/meeting thing yesterday, though. It was to teach old people art. I think it could be a whole lot of fun, if I do say so myself. It's for the Park District here in town, and as far as I can tell, they basically let anyone who wants to teach a class teach a class. I fill out some forms describing my class, and people either show up, or they don't. So now I wait until she sends me the proper forms, I fill them out, and then I teach a class. This isn't until June, though, so I'm not on the edge of my seat or anything. But I am definitely looking forward to it. I also told her I want to teach kids some cartooning classes or something. They're not looking for anyone now, but that would really be fun.

Last night Jaimee's oven exploded. It was pretty awesome.

The hunt is still on for a house for me. My dad is getting eager to buy me one, but tells me I need to take a more active role in the search. He's right, of course, but also wrong for a couple of big reasons:

The whole "unemployed" factor. I'm not really working. I make ends meet through work at the gallery and selling my old belongings on eBay, and my dad still has to loan me money every once in a while. So I'm not really in a good "house buying" position.
Since my dad is fronting the down payment and will be helping with the monthly payments until I get a job, this ball is more in his court than mine.
I don't really know a whole lot about rewiring a house or installing new heating and cooling units or fixing foundations or seeing if the roof is okay... I'm all about fixing up a house. I can run new electrical lines, new cable lines, new phones lines... I can paint, retile, drywall, hang doors, but I'll be damned if I have even the slightest clue about fixing a foundation and jacking up a wall of a garage. So I'm kind of relying on him to point out huge problems with a house.
I'm not really too picky, because I really can't afford to be.

Anyway, that'll about do it on my end for now.

I hate getting

2003-01-22T17:00:00-07:00

I hate getting sick. But my throat is sore and my head hurts and when I move I feel like I'm going to puke. Fuck you, sick!

I woke up

2003-01-26T17:00:00-07:00

I woke up in the middle of the night last night in desperate need for NyQuil. Other than that, I slept great and woke up after 11 hours of sleep wide awake, alert, and feeling good. Except for my stuffy nose and occassional coughing fits. But compared to how I've been feeling lately, this is a walk in the park.

Jaimee went from sick to injured. Poor girl. I have to go in and work for a few hours today, and I'll probably do a little cleaning around this joint. Sickness makes things messy.

So I've been

2003-01-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, I've been sick. I think I almost died.

Wednesday I started feeling pretty bad. By Thursday I felt absolutely terrible. Since I always work on Thursdays, I called in and told them I'd stop by on Friday instead and take Thursday to heal. I got sort of a guilt trip, so I ended up putting in a few hours work on Friday despite feeling even worse than I did on Thursday. Saturday I felt sick too, but still went to work for about 10 minutes before deciding that I was unecessary. Today I woke up feeling pretty bad, but have gotten much better through the course of the day. Hopefully with a good night's sleep tonight, I'll wake up refreshed and good in the morning.

I dragged my bed into my living room and basically haven't left it with the exception of the few trips mentioned above. Jaimee has been taking good care of me and keeping me all doped up on Day Quil and cough drops. I've been sleeping about 12 hours per day, but never more than an hour or 2 in a row. I've had a fever, sore throat, coughs, headaches, body aches, stuffy head, runny nose, clogged ears, and have just been groggy, tired, and useless. But hopefully that's all done with and I can get on with the rest of my life starting tomorrow.

I never really got sick as a kid, so when I'm sick as an adult I'm kind of a baby about it. I don't know what happened to me over the course of the last year or 3, but I seem to get sick much more often than I did when I was a kid. Now I sit around, moan, and feel sorry for myself. It's fun for me and everyone around me.

Now I'm off to bed again. I've been awake for about 12 hours now. It makes sense that I'm this tired.

Okay so I'm

2003-01-29T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so I'm feeling great aside from my stuffy nose. It's annoying. It's all stuffed up so I have to breathe through my mouth all the time. Normally this isn't bad, except when I sleep my mouth gets all dried out and I have to wake up a couple times and make a weird motion with my mouth to get the spit flowin' again. I was blowing my nose in the shower this morning, as per usual, but my snot kept getting bloodier and bloodier. Eventually there was no snot left but my nose sure was bleeding. It was awesome. The water made it spread everywhere, and I bet I looked like John McClane by the end of the shower.

I called Speedcolor today regarding the job I interviewed for. No one has called me either way, which is pretty rude after 2 interviews, I think. I just left a message. We'll see what happens.

My dad called me at work today. He wanted me to call another guy about getting preapproved for a home loan. It's important because we're looking at a house on Saturday that we'll have to make an offer on VERY quickly if we decide to go ahead and get it. So by Saturday I may have a house with a kiln, and that will be cool. Keep your fingers crossed.

Also the print

2003-01-30T17:00:00-07:00

Also, the print shop who interviewed me twice STILL hasn't made a decision on who to hire. I just called, since that was like 3 weeks ago, and he told me they expect to make a decision in about 2 weeks. Holy crap.

I've decided if they offer me the job, I'll just take it at whatever rate they want to pay me. I'm broke and need the work. Goodbye, dignity!

I just got

2003-01-30T17:00:00-07:00

I just got off the phone with my dad. We've abandoned the idea of getting a loan through a bank because we need him to cosign with me for a decent interest rate, and banks hate that. So we've been talking to a broker... real nice guy.

As it turns out, I have AWESOME credit. I guess credit is based on a number between 0-900. Basically, it's impossible to have a rating of 900. You would have had to have paid off all your vehicles, credit cards, house, and be in debt to absolutely no one, never missed a payment or been late, etc. 720 is considered way above average. It's illegal for him to tell anyone else your credit rating, so all my dad got out of the guy was that mine was above 660, which is considered excellent.

Proof that you can be a broke ass and still have good credit.

Anyway, the reason he gave away the 660 number is because, if your credit is above 660, you can take out a loan in which you don't have to reveal your income or other debts. This is good for me since my income is basically non-existant these days. The broker said I could go ahead and get that loan, by myself, for a slightly higher interest rate.

But, I don't see the point. If my dad cosigns, it will lower my payment by about $60/month. I'd rather have lower payments, since being the only one on the loan is basically a pride thing and nothing more.

We're looking at a house tomorrow. My dad suspects we're going to put a bid in. We'll see.

Well I'm a

2003-02-02T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I'm a homeowner now.

I bought a house. For you Peoria-ites, it's 304 E. Forrest Hill, so it's 3 blocks up fron Knoxville, towards Prospect. It's a nice part of town, and the house is big and awesome. I'll post pictures soon. I have a 2 stall garage, 3 levels, fenced back yard, and all for cheaper than the rent I pay now. The closing date is April 1st, so I have a bit of time left in this apartment, especially since I may even stay here another month or so while finishing up some stuff on my new house.

Besides buying a house, me and Jaimee ate at my sister's house and played Uno, and me and Alan saw Final Destination 2. Me and Jaimee saw Darkness Falls. Me, Jaimee, Alan, and Angie ate at Avanti's. Alan, Jaimee and I went driving around looking for houses for him. But not in that order.

So I guess

2003-02-03T17:00:00-07:00

So, I guess my persistence is paying off. I called the print shop that I interviewed for, asking for a yes or no response. Didn't get one. I emailed the guy saying I'd take the lower pay rate, and he emailed me back saying the job I applied for had been filled internally.

The good news is that there's another opening that pays more than the last one. I interview for that one on Friday. It's still basically the same job I did at Kinko's, I think. We'll find out on Friday. But I'm pretty sure that 3 interviews means they HAVE to give me a job. Right?

This house buying

2003-02-04T17:00:00-07:00

This house buying stuff is hard. There's lots of paperwork, and lots of me having to dig through a bunch of folders looking for stuff I never thought I would need. And it's all happening so fast...

Not much else happening, I guess. I'm really looking forward to this interview on Friday. Hopefully I'll get it. I've done the math, and I figure that between working at the print shop, the gallery, and the freelance gigs I get, I'll be making as much as I did at Iona. The problem is the 60 hour weeks and such, but it's a small price to pay to be able to pay my bills again.

Speaking of paying my bills, goodbye Circuit City debt! I paid them off this month. I'm down to about $3000 in credit card debt at this point. The guy on TV with the money on his suit tells me the average is $8000, so I'm not too worried or feelin' too bad.

I hate days

2003-02-05T17:00:00-07:00

I hate days like this.

I had to run out to my dad's house this morning to pick something up for our meeting tonight. Then I had to work for a few hours. Now I'm home, preparing more documents for our meeting with the mortgage broker. Then we go meet with him, fill out some papers, then go meet with the current owner of my house and fill out more papers. Thankfully, I think this is the last time we have to do this before waiting a few weeks for my loan to go through and some details to be worked out.

I just hate paperwork and filling out forms. Especially for something like a house. I feel like I'm going to mess something up. I'm just really glad I have my dad to help me along this time.

So I borrowed

2003-02-09T17:00:00-07:00

So, I borrowed my dad's truck yesterday to help Jaimee move some stuff to storage and to my apartment. In the process, I ran into a huge concrete post and banged up the fender pretty good. I felt so awesome about it. I've been driving and borrowing my parent's cars on occassion for more than 6 years now, and all of the sudden I start hitting non-moving objects.

Beyond that, not a lot is happening. I'm trying to squeeze in some quality time before Jaimee goes to Albaqueerkey. I'm taking care of this house buying stuff. I'm working on a comic. I'm hunting for a job. I'm a bit stressed, preoccupied, and tired. A lot of stuff is hitting me at once. My responsibilities as a groomsman, paying for the hotel, the tux, the wedding gift, and figuring out the "guest" situation to the wedding and the shower, buying a house, filing my taxes, not finding a job, not having money, my girlfriend moving thousands of miles away, denting my dad's truck, and not having money for things I NEED, much less things I WANT. It all sucks. But I don't want to bitch and moan. It's not nice.

The good part is that I'm moving into a house. And I'm pretty sure I got that job at Speedcolor. So that will eliminate a lot of money issues, which is a good thing. And I get all of Jaimee's food when she goes. And her bed. And those are good, too. Those are the bright sides, I guess.

I'm not afraid of being a homo... sometimes.

2003-02-10T17:00:00-07:00

AKA - The post where Tim stops being a cocky fuck.
AKA - The post where Tim stops trying to be funny all the time.
AKA - The post that a lot of Tim's friends would never want to read.

I have kind of a reputation, especially with friends who have known me more than 5 or 6 years, of being an asshole. I'm kind of cocky. I never let things bother me. I make sarcastic comments at innappropriate times. I make fun of everyone relentlessly, especially my good friends. For the most part, I have a "whatever" attitude. I'm apathetic about most things. But shit, man, every once in a while, a guy has to be sensitive and girly. And now is my time. So brace yourselves. And those of you who would prefer not see me in any other light besides the guy described above, feel free to skip this post.

I just dropped Jaimee off at the train station, then came home and took a bath and thought about the things that have happened in the past week or so.

In the past week, both Jaimee and I have been out of work and been together almost the entire time. I never thought I'd ever meet a person whose company I never got tired of. Even after days and days and nights and nights together, I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to go with her to help her pack even though I'd just get in the way and slow things down. I never thought I'd have anything as good as what we have together.

The past few months have been rough for both of us. I'm unemployed and making basically no money. She hated her job. In the past few months, she's made the decision to move a couple of different times, and we always talked our way out of it. "Well, it will be different when you get your raise". "It will be different when you get your Christmas bonus." "You'll have another job in a week or 2". "Let's give it another month and see what happens". Nothing ever seemed to work out for us, and things were stacked up against us. Bad financial situations for both of us, a crappy car for Jaimee, no way for me to help her in any way that required money. So after a couple of times backing out of moving to New Mexico, the decision was made.

I wasn't happy with it. I never was. I resented Jaimee's mom for making it so easy for her to move there and so hard for her to stay with me, where she belonged. I fucking hated it that she poked and prodded Jaimee to move thousands of miles away from me in public forums, including here on LiveJournal. And I fucking hated more than anything that she referred to Jaimee as single. But maybe she was right. Maybe moving in with mom, getting rid of monthly bills, and focusing on her debt would be a good move. Even though I didn't want her gone, maybe it was the right choice. I know from experience that you can't hate your job because it makes your life suck. I know from experience that driving a crappy car and having big credit card debt sucks ass, and having parents who aren't helping would suck even more. I understood.

So today was the big day. Jaimee and I spent the day hugging each other on her couch and watching Trading Spaces. I was just trying to memorize everything. How she looked, how she smelled, how she felt. Things she said, moves she made, expressions. For once, even her hair tickling my face didn't bother me. I was just soaking it all in one last time.

I'm under the impression that 2 people who love each other as much as me and Jaimee shouldn't ever be apart. That's just ridiculous. I'm not a religious man, but I can't believe that God would let it happen. I mean, Jaimee and I are perfect for each other. Everyone sees it and tells me about it. I know they're right. We're happy. We don't fight. We love each other. How is a fucking thing like money ripping us so far apart? How does that happen? How did we let it happen? How can we stop it? What can we do? I've never felt so helpless and confused, but I had to put on a brave face. This was a decision that was made logically, and it made sense to me. I can't let stupid things like emotions get in the way of the "right" thing to do.

So anyway, I drove Jaimee to Galesburg, to the train station. The drive didn't take nearly long enough. Even though we didn't talk much, I didn't want the drive to end. I knew the destination was New Mexico, but I wanted her to stay in the car with me forever.

Things went wrong at the train station. The bag situation was sketchy, and Jaimee lost her ticket. There was a huge snow storm. They were signs for her to stay. Jaimee knew it, and even though I was less confident, I wanted so badly for it to be true. She wanted to come back to Peoria with me, but I talked her out of it. Sort of. When you're desperate, anything is a sign. We've spent the last few months praying, waiting, and hoping for something to happen to let her stay, and nothing did. I didn't want to delay the innevitable, you know? I mean, I felt closer and closer to her every day (another thing I never thought would happen), and I didn't want to get even closer before having her ripped away from me. She's going to be back in 6 months, and I would prefer that she be back forever 6 months from now than 6 months from 6 months from now, if that makes sense. Logically, I know that her leaving was best, financially speaking. But fuck me, I can't stop feeling like a miserable human being for not driving her back when she first asked me to. How the fuck could I put the girl I love on a train going thousands of miles away when she just asked me to take her home? What the fuck am I doing? Why did I do that?

So here I sit, surrounded by memories of her, not to mention her bed and couch and some clothes and other things. I just keep thinking about standing out on the train platform, snowing, with my hands in my pockets, watching Jaimee through the train window, going away from me. It was like a movie. The saddest fucking movie ever made. And I think that if I handled it differently, it wouldn't have had to happen. And I think that I won't see my girlfriend for months.

But, I'm confident that she'll be back in 6 months, tops, and things will be great. She'll move in with me, and we'll be a happy couple again, and my friends will tell her that they're glad she's back because I've been lonely and depressy since she's been gone. And things will be good. She'll make me dinner sometimes, and I'll have a job, and she'll have a job she likes. We'll have Winnie and she'll be happy that her mama is back to stay. And that's about all I have to say about it.

bad news and more bad news.

2003-02-11T17:00:00-07:00

This is a fun time for me.

slashdot.org, a ridiculously high traffic web site, took it upon themselves to link to junkmachine.com. I got about 30,000 visitors yesterday and my site crashed. Today I got a call from my host saying I was 7 gigs over my transfer limit and I owe them money for it. And that sucks.

My dad just called, saying the lady whose house we're buying is stupid. She hasn't been paying her bills and they're foreclosing. Great, except that means that we don't get the house. So, that sucks. It means that we need to close ASAP, and I don't really know how we're going to do that. This is just more stuff I didn't really need to deal with today. I just wanted to sit around and mope about being lonely. Instead I have to do stuff.

Things are starting

2003-02-12T17:00:00-07:00

Things are starting to look up. Jaimee called me from Albaqueerkey, safe and sound. It's a sad time no matter what, but hopefully we made the right decision.

The house situation is sketchy. The chances that we still have the house are good, but it means a lot more paperwork for yours truly. It may also mean that we need to close really soon and pay double rent for a few months. So, this isn't a very smooth transaction, but we'll get it dealt with.

I got Gone in 60 Seconds yesterday. The original. Up until a week ago, I didn't even know "an original" existed. It was made in the 70's and it's not great. The action scenes are awesome, but the rest of it is pretty terrible. It's still good for a laugh.

Well the slashdot

2003-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

Well, the slashdot madness still isn't dying down. Hits are back up today, and I don't know if that's from slashdot or another page that linked to me. I'll find out tomorrow. I put up a desperate link, begging for money because I'm so far over my transfer limit, and broke. We'll see if anyone replies. I've also put my NESPC back on eBay, because I think with all the hype, people are willing to pay more. We'll just have to see. Things are weird right now in the world of junkmachine.com.

So last night

2003-02-15T17:00:00-07:00

So last night was Fabish and Amy's shower. All of us groomsmen were there, with the exception of one. It was a good time to be had by all, and I ate some really, really, really, really good food. Some sort of pork, I was told.

Not much else happening. Now that Jaimee's gone and I'm a bit lonely and depressed, it's getting really hard to resist just making the 20 foot walk to McDonald's and getting a #4 value meal. I will stand tall! I will succeed! No McDonald's for me until I lose another 25 pounds. Although, I did promise myself McDonalds when I hit 220, which was 25 pounds ago. God, I'm hungry.

Today I'm sitting around in my own filth. No, I still haven't cleaned or put away any of Jaimee's stuff, so I don't really have any kitchen counter. I'm going to watch TV and work on my comic. Starting tomorrow I'll be productive, work on my dad's CD, clean, and various other things I've been putting off.

Okay so the

2003-02-16T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so the latest on the house is this.

The current owner is being foreclosed. As a result, the bank wants to close really, really, really soon. How soon, you ask? March 17th. So things are going to have to be kicked up a notch, here. It's delayed even more since the current owner is out of town and can't fill out the necessary paperwork.

So, that kind of sucks. I guess I don't know what else to say about it. If we close on March 1st, the current owner is definitely going to have to keep living there, at least for a little while. As long as she pays me rent, that's fine. If she doesn't pay me rent, then I'm kicking her out, since come March 17th, the house is MINE.

This is turning into a pain in the ass, but it will be worth it once I move in.

What the hell

2003-02-16T17:00:00-07:00

What the hell is wrong with my sleeping?

If nothing else, the past few days has only proved the importance of working out, and how much it helps with your schedule. For a few weeks I was trying to get back onto a 1st shift type schedule, since I'm really looking hard for full time work. I was always tired and went to sleep at around 10. I also wasn't working out, due to a couple different factors. Since Jaimee's departure, I've worked out just like normal every day, and starting yesterday I'm wide awake most of the time, and wake up in the mornings completely refreshed. For you slacker asses who eat Famous Amos and play Zelda instead of spending some quality time with an elliptical machine, I suggest you review your priorities.

So, Bibo's has made 2 important announcements to me.

I'll be making their TV commercial. That's going to be awesome. I'm going to be all director and editor and designer and stuff again. Maybe I'll even give myself a cameo and be famous. Plus it'll put some money into my wallet.
They're going to hire a full time framer, which basically means there's no use for me anymore, since 1 full time guy should be able to handle all our jobs. But, that's also a semi-good thing, because Bibo's never fires anyone, unless they're nuts. So I think my job will change, and instead of framing, I'll do gallery work and build displays. I was talking to the owner's daughter about all this, and it seems exciting. I actually start building displays next week. I'm drawing out plans to be approved on Tuesday, and display city, here I come! It's going to be a lot more fun, creative, and interesting than picture frames, so I'm happy. Plus if they sell some of the gallery stuff I do, I'll get a cut. So things are looking up.

Plus I have a few jobs to send my resume to this week. Design jobs, believe it or not. We'll see what happens. I also have to email about the Speedcolor job. 3 interviews should get me at least a call back, but it hasn't yet. That sucks.

So last night

2003-02-17T17:00:00-07:00

So last night was Hoops night. Usually it takes about 25 minutes to get from my apartment to Hoops. Last night I caught every single green light. Every single one. It was amazing. I got there about 15 minutes early, sat down, and ordered a drink. Since it's $6 pitcher night for Killians, I ordered a pitcher and felt like such a lonely drunk. I also told the waitress I needed 2 glasses since a friend was coming. She gave me a half-smile like she felt sorry for me and said okay. But then she only brought 1 glass. I think she thought I was lying and I had no friends. But such is life.

For most of the night, it was me, Alan, and Angie. Steph stopped by for a little while too, which was weird. Good conversation, good food, and Alan told me I'll probably be his best man at his wedding. That was weird too. But good weird, since I considered myself out of the running in the best man category, since Fabish opted for his brother (what chump).

Uh, not much else happening. I sold my Nintendo Computer for almost $700. That should help with the closing costs of the house.

Last night was

2003-02-23T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was a big night out with Fabish and Alan. Well, okay, it was a small night out. We went out at 10 and were home by 11:45. It was good conversation though. Fabish and Amy are getting pretty nervous about the big day, which makes sense, beings how it's less than 3 weeks away. We even talked politics, and I kept up a little bit with the stuff I learned watching The Daily Show.

Our old landlord was also there. Strange that just the 3 of us would be out when we ran into him, since we were his 3 tenants.

Today I go to work and I mail off my Nintendo Computer.

My diet took a bit of a spill. With Jaimee leaving, I kind of overate everything I could possibly overeat, then continued that after she left, because her food was here. I gained back about 5 pounds, but I've lost about 3 of that in the past couple of days from working out extra hard and eating extra less. No more Famous Amos and Zelda for me. I'm back on course and ready to lose the rest of my weight. And the crowd goes wild.

Things that suck:

2003-02-23T17:00:00-07:00

Things that suck: LiveJournal. PayPal. Here's why.

The post that just showed up should have showed up many days ago, but didn't. LJ, you suck.

PayPal, you suck, because you charge me ridiculous fees for stupid services. A guy transferred $680.00 to me for my Nintendo. He didn't pay with a credit card. He just paid with money already in his PayPal account. PayPal took $20 for that transaction. $20! No "real" money exchanged hands. No one did anything. It was just an entry in a computer. That pisses me off to no end. When money is transferred to or from a bank account or from a credit card, I can understand the fees. But not PayPal account to PayPal account. I hate PayPal for taking my $20.

So, in the past few days, Bryan came into town and left again. I went out with Angie, Alan, and Matt. I've had some sort of stomach flu or something that's given me the craps for a few days straight and had me out of commission on Friday.

I applied for another job today. It's getting really frustrating at this point.

So I spent

2003-02-25T17:00:00-07:00

So I spent Monday night watching Battle of the Sexes and working on the 'ole comic book. I'm both proud and happy that my work hasn't really slowed down, and I'm not really bored with working on it yet. Maybe I'll actually finish it and get it published. That would be awesome.

My dad came over to work on his CD. I'm pretty convinced that it's never, ever going to get finished at this point. I may just have to take drastic measures and lie to him. Tell him that there's no room left for any more pictures or text. That'll learn him real good.

Then last night Wolford came back into town, so we went to dinner and went to see Polk. Tonight is Hoops night. Today I have a couple of business meetings for money. That's right, kids, FREELANCING business meetings. Next week I also have to teach a class of 5 year olds about art. That should be fun.

So the business

2003-02-27T17:00:00-07:00

So the business meeting on Wednesday went well, and on Sunday I'll be spending some quality time by myself in a restaurant in the middle of the night. Hopefully the mural should be done in 1 night, but I'll probably be there until the wee hours of Monday morn.

We went to Hoops on Wednesday. Nothing too eventful, except that's the last time we're going for a couple of weeks. Next week we're skipping it so assure that I'll fit into my tux at Fabish's wedding, and the week after, everyone but me will be in Mexico.

And last night I went to work for way too many hours considering the work I did, then went to see Daredevil with Robert. It was good, but not great, and nowhere near as good as Spiderman.

It's been a

2003-03-02T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a long time since I've posted 3 times in a day.

I went back to put some sealer on the mural I painted, and the owner of the restaurant praised my work and paid me the rest of my dough. I gave him some business cards to hand out in case someone asked who did the painting, and he said he's already had some interest. As a result, I'll be meeting with the owner of Sully's, a pub downtown, about painting leprochauns on his windows. That's tomorrow morning. I have a feeling this mural thing may get me a lot of business. It seems like the type of thing that people will see, then want for themselves. So it's exciting.

I also had an interview with a company for a video production assisstant. Now, with freelancing stuff actually working, I'm reluctant to take the job. Since it hasn't been offered to me, that's a moot point. He told me already that I'd be coming back for a second interview, but he also told me that he usually starts people at $6/hour. I made more than that at 16, working in a movie theater. No thanks.

Oh here's some

2003-03-02T17:00:00-07:00

Oh, here's some pictures I've been meaning to link to, which include pics of my new house and pics of the mural I painted last night. Enjoy.

hearz sum piktours.

So I'm awake

2003-03-02T17:00:00-07:00

So I'm awake now.

As I mentioned, the work went really, really fast. I was expecting it to take in the neighborhood of 8 or 9 hours. It took about 3. Plus, he switched mural locations, so I ended up painting bigger and more than I thought I was going to, so my cost went up. I made so much money last night, it's ridiculous. He seems pretty excited about doing more murals around the restaurant, so hopefully this will lead to something else.

Because I got done so early, I got to join Angie, Alan, and Brynn for drinks. Alan left pretty quickly to go work for some guy, so I just hung out with the remaining party. It was fun times. There's always a lot of cops at Jimmy's, and one seemed really interested in talking to Brynn. I took the opportunity to ask all sorts of questions, like if cops would do anything about my expired plates, how fast you have to go over the limit to be pulled over, the "quota" myth.

For the record, cops in Peoria absolutely have a quota. The guy at my driving classes lied to me.

So I'm back

2003-03-02T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm back from my adventure at the restaurant. Alone. By myself. In the middle of the night. Only not really, because the work went quick and I went out drinkin' afterwards. More tomorrow. I'm tired right now.

Okay so the

2003-03-04T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so the mural meeting at Sully's didn't happen. It happens tomorrow morning instead.

My house. It's all up in the air. The current owner is being a shitfuck, and I don't know if I'll end up getting it or not. I really just need to get a hold of her, shake her, and get some answers. Unfortunately, she's very hard to reach.

My comic. Doing well. 0 pages left to pencil. 4 pages left to ink. 21 pages left to scan. 22 pages left to script. I hope to have it finished over the weekend, then spend a few days with my submission requirements, then send it in by the end of next week.

The wedding. The wedding is on Saturday. I go up for the rehearsal on Friday. I cut off all my facial hair and got a real haircut in preperation.

On Monday I went to Angie's to eat dinner with her and Alan. I got way, way drunk. I blame Alan for that. It was fun, though.

Is this description

2003-03-05T17:00:00-07:00

Is this description of "The Hobbit" accurate?

It's a shame

2003-03-05T17:00:00-07:00

It's a shame that the Hobbit link stopped working. The description of the book included Bilbo Baggins, transvestites, hookers, and houseboats originally. It was probably posted by some disgruntled WalMart employee. It was funny while it lasted.

Work today was uneventful, except while I was changing the blade on our miter saw. The nut holding the blade in place was stuck and wouldn't move for the life of me. Finally I just put the wrench on and pushed with all the force in my body, and it finally gave. Great, except that my hand went flying into the back, where the saw attaches to our table. I tore a lot of skin off my pinky and ring finger of my left hand. It hurt really, really, really bad.

The last 2 days at work I've been building displays, with more to build by our big 40th anniversary. It seems my job has moved from framer to carpenter, which I enjoy a lot more. Power tools and huge chunks of wood. Perfect.

The meeting at Sully's went well, and next Sunday will be mural #2 on the door outside. I hope it's warmer by then. I don't know if I'll be able to paint with gloves on, but we'll give it a shot.

I ate dinner tonight with John Zarr. He's a nice kid who I don't see nearly often enough. We hung out a lot in high school and really tried to get him out of his shell. When his sister died, he kind of cut everyone off. I think I've mentioned that before. Anyway, it's good to see him on a 1-on-1 basis again, even if it's sporadically, and even if it's because all his friends have moved away or have been shipped out.

So today is

2003-03-06T17:00:00-07:00

So today is the big day. I drive up to Kankakee for the rehearsal dinner, and I stay to see my best friend get married tomorrow. It's so weird. That kid is younger than I am. It's just crazy. I felt old when my sister got married, but I feel REALLY old now that my best friend is.

Well, the current owner of my house went to her bank, and it turns out she's only asking for an additional $800. If worse comes to worse and the bank turns her down, my dad and I have decided to just borrow an extra $800 on the house and give it to her. Over the course of a 30 year mortgage, $800 is just a couple of bucks a month. It's not worth the extra hassle and headaches for that little money. So things are looking up. All we can do is sit and wait for people to make their important decisions.

The big wedding

2003-03-08T17:00:00-07:00

So, my best friend is married off. This weekend has been so much fun, I can't even take it.

Friday I went to my parent's house and dropped off the dog and ate some of their food. Then, it was off to Kankakee. I opted to drive the entire way on a 2 lane highway, which took a bit longer but was more scenic and less frustrating. So I get there and Larry, Amy's dad, hands me my tux and tells me to try it on. Instead, I went and visited the other groomsmen who were already there, and tried on my tux just a bit later.

After that, it was back up to KJs room where we enjoyed a couple of screwdrivers and Bud Lights. Various groomsmen wandered in and out over the next few hours, all getting nice and toasty for the rehearsal.

I drove to the rehearsal with T-Bagg as my navigator. We got completely lost and showed up just a tad late. We didn't miss much. Just a little bit of standing around that I could have done without, really. We stood around waiting for some girl named Erin, whose flight was delayed for some reason. I found out later that Erin was the girl who I would be escorting up and down the aisle during the wedding. Finally she walked in and took off her coat. All the groomsmen proceeded to walk up to me, pat me on the back, and tell me I "hit the jackpot". It's true. She was, by far, the hottest of the bridesmaids. I suppose it's a fitting match, since I was the hottest person in the building at the time.

We did the rehearsal thing, which mostly consisted of the groomsmen standing up on a balcony, by ourselves, making inappropriate comments considering we were in church. We didn't stand like I normally see, with guys on one side, girls on the other. We stood in couples. I was the 1st guy on the Amy's side.

While we were standing in the hall waiting for the 2nd rehearsal, everyone was chatting with their respective bridesmaids, introducing ourselves so it wouldn't be so awkward dancing and walking with them. At this point she told me that she's an actress and has been on a couple soap operas, with speaking lines, even, and now is in plays in New York City. I was sure to ask for her autograph so I'll have a cool "I knew her when..." story for when she's fially a big star. At this point Fabish walked up and whispered in my ear "I forgot to mention that she was HOT." How was I supposed to respond to that with her standing right there? I think I just sort of nodded and called him gay. It's all a blur.

After the rehearsal, we went to a pizza place for the dinner. There was a ton of people there. All the groomsmen sat at one smaller table, and the other 2 huge tables were filled with everyone else. The waitress came along and asked for our beer orders. Fabish said "Yeah, I think we'll need about 4 pitchers". The waitress kind of laughed and said "really?". Fabish replied "Why? How many are the other tables getting?" "Well, they're getting 2 pitchers each." Fabish looked around the table and did some quick math before replying, "Yeah, you better make it 4 pitchers."

We got our gifts. Mine was a bunch of gift certificates to places that Fabish knows I love. Hardware stores, Circuit City, and NCB (Now the Dynasty Buffet). All the presents called me gay in some way or another. The highlight was the one for the hardware store. In the "To:" field, he wrote in "Tim Wasson - homo home owner". He also included a card, which was very sweet and sentimental. If I hadn't been around a bunch of drunk guys while reading it, I may have teared up a bit.

We laughed and had a good time, and everyone left before us. The groomsmen just sat there until the pizza place closed, then it was back to the hotel, back to KJs room, for even more drinks. We were kicked out around 1:30, and me, Fabish, and T-Bagg went to my room, because we were the only ones not tired. We just bullshitted around for another hour or so, when T-Bagg left. Fabish and I stayed up until around 3AM, talking about the wedding and how nervous he was. I was trying my best to calm him down, mentioning over and over again that in 24 hours, it would all be over and he'd just be happy for the rest of his life. I'm not sure how much better that made him feel, but I did what I could for the poor kid. At this point, I could tell that he was getting really nervous.

Fabish stayed in my room that night. I had a hard time sleeping, but not as hard as he did. At around 7, with just over 4 hours of sleep under his belt, he got up and walked out of the room. I said "hey, where are you going?" I was planning on eating breakfast with him or something. He replied "I don't know. I can't sleep. I just have to get outta here." I figured he needed some alone time, so I slept for another hour or so before getting up for real.

Justin and I needed to get some minor adjustments made to our tuxes, so we left early the next morning to get to the tux place. A kid named David went with us. After the adjustments, we went and ate breakfast. David mentioned he was currently living in Chicago. This is the conversation that followed:

Tim- "Oh yeah? I used to live there. What part of town?"
David- "Lakeview"
"Yeah, I lived there for a year. Whereabouts in Lakeview?"
"The corner of Wellington and Broadway. Do you know where that is?"
"You have got to be kidding me. What's your address?"
"540 Wellington. Why?"
"That is the exact same building I lived in about 3 years ago."
"Bullshit!"

It took some convincing, but that is absolutely true. We even had some of the same neighbors! And landlord! It was crazy. I really want to get some sort of math major and tell me the chances of 2 people, strangers, meeting in a small town that neither of them is from, who lived in the SAME EXACT BUILDING in a city as huge as Chicago is. I figure there's better odds to winning the lottery. No, we didn't have the same apartment if that's what you're wondering, but still.

After that, we had many hours to just kind of sit around, which is exactly what we did. We rotated rooms occassionally and just watched TV. At one point Amy's dad brought us Subway. For the most part, we just kind of sat around looking at the clock. It wasn't the highlight of the weekend, but it was fun to talk to everyone. I really like all the guys in the wedding party and the parents and relatives of the bride and groom, so just chatting it up with everyone was fun.

Then, the big event. The guys were all put into a little kid's room with lots of toys, waiting for our cue. We played foosball and air hockey and cussed way too much, considering it was church. We took some pictures, and the photographer was a big dickfuck. He was an idiot. Just was just very short tempered and not friendly. He'd take a picture and say "No blink?" If we blinked, he retook it. After several times, Fabish just said "Why don't you just take 2 or 3 of each, just to make sure?" He didn't have a good answer.

Fabish and Amy were chauferred away in a 30's Rolls Royce, so at one point he wanted all the groomsmen to stand in front of it for pictures. None of us knew where it was, so we asked the photographer. He answered really short "It's right over here", to which Justin replied "Oh, is your personality over there too?" That made him in an even worse mood. When we thought he couldn't get less friendly, Fabish said, a bit too loud "Oh, by the way, it's a wedding, not a funeral". He got even meaner. While taking the car pictures, the photographer said "Okay, just one more..." As he brought the camera to his face, he totally dropped it. On the cement ground. In a puddle. It made a very expensive sounding "thud", which I don't think helped the situation much. We didn't make any more rude comments after that.

We men stood at the top of this huge staircase, waiting for the cue to head down. My mom wouldn't stop staring at us. It was really freaking me out. For like 5 or 6 minutes, just staring, from downstairs and in front of us. At one point I asked Callahan if there was some kind of universal sign language for "turn around and stop looking at me". He replied "The middle finger". I started laughing at the idea of flicking my mom off, in church, before my best friend's wedding. It kept sounding more and more like a good idea. Finally she stopped.

So, the actual wedding. We were all standing up there when the doors opened and Amy walked out. I looked at her, then over at Fabish. His eyes got huge, his face turned red, he started crying, and he looked like he was about to faint. You don't see the emotional side to that kid very often, and it was very sweet and very moving when to see him like that. All the bridesmaids instantly starting bawling their eyes out, along with most of the girls in the audience. I don't remember so much crying at any wedding I've ever been to.

The wedding went off without a hitch, with the exception of 2 small events. I was only included in one of them. So, at one point, Amy had to hand her flowers to the maid of honor. The maid of honor had to hand her flowers to Erin, who was the first girl in the line up. Great, except that Erin was already holding this weird boquet with a glass and a lit candle in it. So, Erin held it in front of me. I kind of freaked and didn't know what to do. She said "Here, take this from me". So I did. I wasn't warned! Why wasn't that mentioned in the rehearsal?! So here I stood with a girly boquet of flowers and all the groomsmen giving me weird looks and laughing. And there was a lit candle, which didn't help the heat situation much. I was so freaking hot up there in my 30 layers of clothes, and now I'm holding fire. If I hadn't shaved my goatee, I probably would have erupted in flames. That would have been funny, but maybe not appropriate.

As Amy turned to leave, the maid of honor stepped on her train accidently. Amy kept walking and almost fell over when she ran out of slack. She just laughed it off and kept walking.

The wedding party, once again, was stuck in a small room to wait for everyone to leave, so we could take even more pictures. The groomsmen were giving the newly married couple a hard time about "consumating the marriage", since it's well known that they haven't yet. Fabish grabbed Amy's arm and said "okay, give me about 20 seconds". Normally this wouldn't have been funny except that Amy and Fabish's moms were standing about 2 feet behind them. When they realized it, their faces turned bright red. Neither seemed to mind too much, I guess.

More pictures. More of the photographer being an asshole. At one point he raised his voice to Amy saying something to the effect of "Look, we need to get this taken care of. Can you get things under control so we can get to the rehearsal?" Fabish didn't like that. Understandably so. It's their wedding, and the photographer is yelling at the bride? What the hell? He said something to the effect of "We're paying you. Be friendly. Be nice. Be tolerant. Calm down".

We almost ran out of gas on the way back to the hotel, where the reception was. Since we didn't run out, it's not a good story. I'll skip it.

The reception was awesome. The food was excellent. The waitresses were nice. The beer was plentiful and free. Finally it was time to mingle. I kept looking into the audience at the wedding and the dinner, but I was never allowed to go mingle. We were always very separate. So finally it was time to go chat it up. I visited my family first, who, of course, gave me shit for holding the candle and stuff during the ceremony. And, of course, messing up the seating order when we were announced as the wedding party.

As I was talking to my parents, a lady comes up and says "Hi Tim". I reply "Oh, hi, how are you?" She replies "You don't know who I am, do you?" I replied "Yeah, you're Scott Olsson's mom, I just can't figure out why you're here."

Scott Olsson is a friend of mine from high school. He never hung out with Fabish, with the exception of maybe once or twice. Anyway, it turns out that she was there on a date with Fabish's Uncle, who isn't really even his uncle. So that was weird coincidence #2 of the evening.

Not a whole lot to note during the reception. Nothing was really annouced very well. The wedding party dance was annouced so poorly that only about half of us heard it. There was 2 girls for every guy on the floor, so the guys that showed up got to dance with 2 girls and look all studly. Yeah, I was one of them. Go me.

Anyway, the reception was fun, and all my old teachers came up to say hi. Fabish's mom works where I went to gradeschool, so my 3rd, 5th, and 7th grade teachers were all there. I had several 5th and 7th grade teachers, so about 7 or 8 were there in total, I think. It will never cease to amaze me how teachers remember each and every kid even years and years later. Lots of fun was had by all.

Finally around midnight, the lights turned back on and the DJ left. Those of us who remained were still talking, and Fabish and Amy were still wandering around mingling. At one point, Fabish's dad yelled "Mark, what are you doing? Go get some!" It's bizarre hearing Mr. Fabish say things like that, but over the course of the wedding, bachelor party, shower, and everything in between, I've heard things from lots of old people I never thought I'd hear. It's odd to see friends parents act less like parents and more like people.

Fabish went up to get some, and Alan, Angie and I went back to my room for a few more drinks. Aaron and Corey Davis, Kevin, and Chris all came along too. They all left kind of early, and Angie, Alan, and I got a little too bored and a little too drunk. We started jumping on the beds and making asses out of ourselves, but it was all in good fun.

I've been sleeping weird lately. You know that time between sleep and awake, where sometimes you get leg spasms and such? I've been doing weird things during that time especially, including kicking violently or singing. I always wake myself up in the middle of these and keep doing them for 2 or 3 seconds, and really freaking myself out. I warned Fabish, Alan, and Angie about this, since I slept with all of them during the course of the weekend. Apparently I slept pretty soundly, except at 1 point I yelled "Get her out of here!" for no apparent reason. And once, I laid on my back and lifted my leg straight up in the air and kept it there for 20 minutes, according to Angie. I'm really impressed with myself. It takes some strength to do a leg lift for that long.

We left this morning after grabbing some quick breakfast. And that was the weekend. And now my best friend is married. And now it's time for a nap, because I haven't really slept a lot in the past couple days.

Comic book status

2003-03-09T17:00:00-07:00

Comic book status update: completely done, except for the scripting. It's all penciled, inked, scanned, formatted, and ready to go except for the words. I'm taking a little break, but will hopefully finish it up by this evening and have my submissions package ready by the end of the week. Exciting stuff.

It's a busy

2003-03-11T17:00:00-07:00

It's a busy day today.

First I go teach a class of 5 year olds about art. Then I go to Childers to discuss a 2nd mural for him. Then to Sully's to discuss his mural. Then to a printing place for a job interview. Then to CDSC Video for a 2nd interview. Then home to call a new contact about doing some portraits. Then I plan to sit and watch TV, because I will be tired.

Okay so I'm

2003-03-11T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so I'm back from most of my chores. Mural at Sully's on Sunday, and one at Childer's on Monday. In 2 days, I will have made more than I made during a week at Iona. I need more of these mural jobs.

The class of 5 year olds was so much fun I can't even explain it. The kids were so adorable and awesome. I think the one named Abbie was totally hitting on me. 2 little twins wouldn't stop hugging my legs. They were just so excited to have someone new in the class who was doing something interesting with them. It was great fun and I really enjoyed myself, and I hope the kids did too. When it gets warmer, I may go back to do chalk drawings with them on the sidewalk.

Then I went to fill out an application at another printing place. The application process never ceases to amaze me. It's happened a couple of times now, when I'll fax my resume, they'll review it, then need me to fill out an application. Why? Everything they need to know should be on the resume, right? On this whole application, the only new information I filled out was my social security number. They had everything else. I don't know. It's just odd. Anyway, so I didn't have an interview like I was promised. I just did my application and was shuffled out the door. I hope they call back.

And now, it's time to make a couple business related phone calls, then go back to the video production place for my 2nd interview. Fun times.

The 2nd interview

2003-03-12T17:00:00-07:00

The 2nd interview at the video production place went better than expected. I don't think they're going to pay me enough, and I also don't think I'm too interested in the position. But, sadly, I'll probably still take it if it's offered to me. I just really need the cash, especially since my mom is probably going to be quitting her job really soon.

I came home and worked on the comic for a while, then my dad came over to finish up this CD-ROM. No, it's still not finished, and yes, he's still adding more and more so it will never be done. Today he added 5 more sections to it. I hate this fucking CD and wish I had never started it.

Then I went jogging for the first time in a long time. I'd been using my elliptical machine the past few months, but finally it's warm enough for me to jog outside again. It was still a bit on the chilly side, but I can take it. I've been doing astoundingly well with the 'ole diet this week, despite my dad buying me a box of Fig Newtons. I love those things. Speaking of good food, pizza sounds really good to me. But I won't eat any until Monday. Monday marks 1 solid week of not straying from my diet for even a second. There will be a big party to celebrate. Everyone is invited.

So it's been about 13.5 hours since I've woken up, and I haven't really had a lot of time to sit down and not do anything. Maybe I'll take a bath, watch the Daily Show, and work some more on the comic. It's been a big day, and I didn't make a dime, either. Except for the $3 I found in a pair of pants I haven't worn for a while. Does that count?

Man my ass

2003-03-12T17:00:00-07:00

Man, my ass hurts so bad this morning. The pain is located only in my butt cheeks. Does jogging work some butt muscles that aren't worked by the elliptical machine?

Well, I have to go make pretty picture frames now.

I was really

2003-03-13T17:00:00-07:00

I was really, really tired all day yesterday. I went to bed at around 10, which means I was awake just over 12 hours before sleeping another 10. Hopefully that's out of my system and I can start sleeping like a normal man again.

In other news, my legs, ass, and arms are killing me. I'm guessing from my work out, but it was no different than it is every night. I don't know what happened there. And speaking of my work out, it's been 5 days since I haven't veered off course with the diet, and 5 days since I've been working out extra hard in the evenings to drop the weight I gained during the 2 days of livin' it up at the wedding. The result: I've lost exactly nothing. I give myself until Monday to lose at least a pound, and after that, this is officially a plateau.

Comic book status

2003-03-14T17:00:00-07:00

Comic book status update:

Completely, 100% finished. Done. Pencilled, inked, scanned, converted, scripted. The artwork turned out... strange, for lack of a better word. I worked actual size, which never happens in comics. Then, I scanned the art and converted it to vectors, to allow for dark blacks and crisp lines. Then, I simplified the lines to see what would happen. The result: unusual, but I actually really like it. Some things came through looking perfect, others (usually small details) got distorted and just look... wrong. But I like it. I think it works for the story, but some people may be put off by it.

Tomorrow I'm formatting it and getting it ready to print. I'm heading to Kinko's and printing up 5 or 6 copies. 1 will go in a submissions package to Diamond to see if I can get distributed, and the other 4 will go to people who may be interested in seeing it. It's an exciting time, or something.

So yesterday I

2003-03-15T17:00:00-07:00

So yesterday I worked for a couple hours. During my 6 hour shift, we had a total of 4 customers. It was an exciting day.

I went home and made some phone calls, trying to make plans for the night. I couldn't get a hold of anyone, so I ended up going to Kinko's to get my comic formatted and on the right paper and such. It's weird to hold the finished product in my hand, all bundled like a comic and whatnot. As I was finishing, Fabish called my cell phone, so I headed over to his house after I was done.

We went down to Gorman's, which was the only bar we went to when we were underage hoodlums. It's Bradley's Spring Break, so it was nice and quiet, with only old people there. We had their hot wings, which are the best hot wings on the planet. Man, those are good.

And now it's this morning. I'm getting ready to go to Sully's and paint a leprochaun.

To celebrate sending

2003-03-16T17:00:00-07:00

To celebrate sending in my comic book submission, the hundreds of dollars I've made in the past 2 days, and getting a new job, I went off today to get a new pair of glasses. My old ones were 5 years old and getting yellow and spotty. I didn't even notice until I put on these new ones. Colors are brighter, and no annoying spots anywhere.

Something weird: My perscription hasn't changed in about 10 years, but today the Doc told me that my astigmatism had actually IMPROVED. He said it's not unheard of, but incredibly uncommon, especially for someone like me who doesn't wear contacts or make any effort to go to the eye doctor or anything. So with these new glasses, my depth perception is completely out of whack. I feel about 10 feet tall when I walk around.

fotoshop phun

2003-03-16T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to mention that the glasses place had a 2-for-1 deal, so I got 2 pairs. One for when I'm an artist. The other for when I'm a business man.

"You're such a handsome, hip looking young artist!"
"Yes, but you're a handsome, professional business man!"
"We're hot!"

workin' man.

2003-03-16T17:00:00-07:00

So, I got offered the job at the video production place, and I took it. I know nothing of my pay rate or other important details. My first day is Wednesday, and if he tells me anything less than $8, I'll politely decline the position. I mean, I'll be shooting an editing video... that seems like a job where I should get paid more than I make doing picture frames, right?

This is a part time gig, but I don't know the hours. I guess I should have asked more questions. I'll still work at the gallery and do freelance stuff on the side, so between all those things, I should be doing pretty okay financially speaking.

I should be happy to get a job that's at least sort of in my field, in Peoria, in hard economical times like these. And yet, I'm also disappointed and sad that I have to resort to this.

I hope everyone

2003-03-17T17:00:00-07:00

I hope everyone had a splendid St. Patty's Day. Mine was good. I started on my mural a bit on the early side, so that I could get it done quickly and go get some drinkin' done. I finished in record time, then made my way to Sully's to meet the gang. We didn't stay at Sully's long because of the crappy, ridiculously loud music.

We headed up to Jimmy's, where we met Brynn. It was packed when we got there, at about 10:30, but an hour later, there was pretty much no one left. At midnight, me and Alan headed down to Hoops but Angie and Brynn went home early like losers. Steph showed up later on, as did Emily and a bunch of people whose faces I knew, but not their names. A lot of people from high school were there too... Melissa Winchill, Brian Schafer, Richie Savage, etc. etc. Also, my "cousin" Craig was there. I'm not sure how we're related, but I'm pretty sure we're not cousins. I haven't seen him in many years. I'm surprised we recognized each other.

Richie was always a cool guy, but man, has he changed. He was talking about getting his masters in Philosophy, which spawned a number of conversations I didn't want to have with him. I kept trying to wiggle my way out of them and get back to talking about normal things, but he wasn't letting me. It came to a head when he was saying he was "pro-terrorism" just because most Americans aren't, as well as saying that we're Nazis and oppressors and yadda yadda. It was all lame and I wish I had never disagreed, because at one point he started calling me a bitch and screaming into my ear. A few seconds later, we were cool again and he was shaking my hand, apologizing. As we were leaving, he warned me to stop being condescending before telling me he was schizophrentic, however you spell it. So that was the excitement of the evening. The rest of the group I knew from high school were very cool, very mellow, and very glad to catch up. I don't know what's happened to Richie in the past couple years.

Okay so it

2003-03-18T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so it was my first day at the video production place. That sentence is going to be the last sentence in which I don't complain for many paragraphs, so feel free to skip this whole entry.

Basically, going there this morning and working there all day made me feel absolutely miserable. I was miserable. Completely, totally, horribly sad and miserable. He offered me the $8/hour that I needed to actually accept the job, and I accepted it, knowing full well that I made twice that working at Iona 2 years ago. No benefits, no nothin'. The promise of a raise after 30 days didn't raise my spirits at all.

Now, I admit that I make less than $8/hour at the gallery. But they pay me exactly what that job is worth. It's not a skilled trade. Any high schooler can do it. This job is another story. He admitted that he wanted to tap into my skills, my education, and my experience at Iona to make his company a lot of money. Great, that's expected when you're an employee, but I also expect to be reimbursed for my skills, education, and experience. And I expect to be reimbursed for more than $8/hour. I don't think I'm being cocky or unreasonable. I'm worth more than that.

He mentioned wanting me to do 3D animation and multimedia, including authoring DVDs. I told him that there was no way I was going to do any of that for $8, but I'd be more than happy to do that for him as a contract worker. He told me that he was not going to pay me as an employee and a freelancer, which made sense to both of us. I wouldn't even be complaining if he had offered me $13/hour. But for $8... well, I can't do that kind of work for $8/hour. It's just plain disrespectful to me.

He gave me a no-competition form to sign, and I read it over and handed it back to him, without my signature. Basically, this thing was signing my life away. It said I couldn't work for any other video production place or multimedia house for 2 years. BULL SHIT. Freelancing is still my numero uno, number one priority, and he knew this going into it. If I can't sell my services to them, then I'm shit outta luck. I'm completely unwilling to have my hands tied with no way to make extra money for a fucking $8/hour job with no benefits. He overlooked this, and I still started.

I hate this job the same way I hated working at Iona. They put me in a room, by myself, staring at a computer screen. I have no input and make no decisions about the job. My creativity and artistic skills are completely overlooked and useless. I dicked around with this god damn wedding, editting it in the most boring and pathetic way possible, all the while completely miserable that I've had to resort to this bullshit.

I mean, at age 20 I graduated from college and got a job making almost $30K/year. Salaried. With benefits. I hated it after the first couple of months, because I wasn't allowed to be creative or artistic. That was the salesman's job, for some reason. They'd stand over my shoulder and tell me what to do. I hated everything about it, except for the money. After almost a year and a half, I was up to $32K/year, significantly more than most 21 year olds make. Then, I went freelance. My first 6 months in the freelancing world, I made so much money it was unbelievable. I worked all the time, and weeks when I'd make as much as Iona were common. Weeks I made more than Iona were relatively frequent. Weeks that I made in the thousands were rare, but I had a few of them. I was doing great. All of the sudden, the economy crashed and I started doing horribly. I had saved up a couple grand, so I "invested" it into a small business site, custom-art.com, which didn't make me any money at all. In addition to it not making me money, I lost a shitload on it. All my savings dried up quick, and then my credit card bills skyrocketed. People don't realize that it takes money to get a lot of freelancing gigs. You have to print up copies of your portfolio and VHS copies of your demo reel to leave on doorsteps of anyone who may even be remotely interested. When you're broke, you can't do that. As a result, I stopped getting any kind of work at all.

It was a steady decline after that. My return customers stopped returning after their businesses stopped doing well, and month after month, I made less than the previous one. I took the job at Bibo's to make ends meet, which worked for a bit. Then I had to borrow more and more from my dad. Even looking for a full time job again made me sad, since it was admitting defeat in a career where I felt skilled, with something to offer. And now this. It's a slap in the face is what it is, and a wake up call. I hope to God that I can blame these problems on the economy, and not on the fact that I suck at what I do.

Anyway, I'm going to quit tomorrow. Yes, already, because I can't even imagine lasting there for more than a month. I'd be working full time, giving up any chance I had at getting freelance jobs, to make less money per week than I make per night doing murals. So, I'm going to go whore myself around town as a painter/illustrator rather than a multimedia guy and see if I have more luck with that. I don't necessarily want to make millions of dollars. I want to be able to pay my rent and be happy in my career. I think this job at the video production place is a step in the wrong direction, so I ain't gonna take it.

Fuck you, CDSC Video Production!

... and then, and then, and THEN...

2003-03-19T17:00:00-07:00

The meeting at Jones Brothers went awesome. I'm doing at least 1 cartoon for them, followed by the possibility of a lot more for the newspaper. We'll see how it goes after they see the finished product.

So I go home and at around 6 (while I was still supposed to be at the video place) I get a call from a lady I did a portrait for at Christmas. Now she wants a mural for her kid's room done. So, uh, that absolutely kicks ass. 2 random jobs from out of nowhere, both during the time I "should have" been at the video place. A sign? Absolutely. Fuck you, video place! I hate you!

How you know you've made the right decision

2003-03-19T17:00:00-07:00

So I woke up bright and early this morning after a shitty night's sleep. I had cheered up considerably just knowing what I had to do the next day, but it still weighed a bit heavy on the 'ole mind and shoulders. So I got up and went to the gallery where no one was yet. I did a bit of work before Sue got there, then went up to talk to her about my new job, how much it sucked, and how I was leaving. She gave me encouraging words, which are always nice to hear when you're about to do something that you're not 100% sure is the right choice.

Anyway, 10:00 rolled around, which is when the video place opened. I went in and had a talk with the owner, basically telling him that my time would be better served looking for freelance work rather than giving up any chance I had to get freelance work and working for peanuts. He kind of half-tried to talk me out of it before giving up. It wasn't quite as friendly of a goodbye as I had hoped for, since I hate burning bridges and all, but it worked.

I went back to Bibo's feeling great. About an hour later, Cori came running downstairs telling me to get the phone. It turns out that some lady called looking for an artist to do a cartoon for her business, which is a jewelry store. I talked to her and gave her a rough quote. I meet with her to discuss it in more detail in about 15 minutes. If I had worked at the video place all day like I was "supposed" to, I never would have gotten this job. I definitely take it as a sign that I made the right choice. More than likely, this cartoon job will pay more than I would have made working at the video place all day. Strange how things happen like that sometimes.

Things are lookin' up. Off to a meeting....

So yesterday I

2003-03-21T17:00:00-07:00

So, yesterday I went to meet with a few "clients", because this freelancing thing is starting to work again and I actually have "clients". It's fun to have "clients". It's fun to say I have clients. Clients, clients, clients.

Anyway, so I went to Jones Brothers with 6 sample sketches. They loved them all and took them to discuss which one I finish. I sort of got the impression that they'll want me to finish all 6 for various ads and whatnot. We'll just have to see.

At Childer's, he wanted me to do 2 more murals. I do 1 on Sunday, and 1 on Monday. Another mural for some lady in Morton on Monday, too. It's a busy time, but good money, which I like.

The only other big thing on the horizon: the diet from hell attacks this Monday. Alan read about it in Men's Health magazine, and it outlines every single meal and snack you eat for 21 days. I will stick to this diet loyally, and I mean it. The goal is to lose 15 pounds in 3 weeks, if you stick to the diet and your normal work out schedule. So we'll see how it goes. The hardest part will be not drinking anything but water for the entire time. I love soda.

I went to my sister's house to help with some home improvement projects, and I was promised all of their work out equiptment on "extended loan" for whenever I get my house. They have a nice, nice, nice set up of weight benches, with an intricate pully system and such. Pretty neat stuff. They gave me all their hand weights tonight so I can start building muscle to get off this last small bit of fat I got goin' on. It's weird to be getting close to the end of a diet that's lasted 10 months so far.

I just went

2003-03-22T17:00:00-07:00

I just went grocery shopping with Alan to prepare for the next week of this diet. This diet is going to suck so bad, I can't even believe it. To top it off, I haven't even the foggiest idea of how to steam vegetables. Any hints?

So half of

2003-03-23T17:00:00-07:00

So, half of day 1 of this diet is now complete. I've learned a few valuable lessons since starting this thing.

Oatmeal tastes like nothing if you don't put brown sugar in it.
Squash tastes like nothing.
Rice tastes like nothing.

Tonight I eat zucchini and asparagus, which I hope also taste like nothing, since I have to choke it down and nothing is better than gross.

I've kind of been fighting off some sort of cold or something lately. Hopefully these vitamins and vegetables I'm eating will help with that whole thing.

I didn't paint at Childer's last night because of this "illness" or whatever it is. Tonight and tomorrow I'll be there, and Wednesday I'll be finishing a mural in Morton. Fun times, I tell ya.

Last night I

2003-03-24T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I woke up coughing so hard that I ended up puking. That was fun. Today I'm tired and have a ridiculous headache, but feel okay otherwise. I just put in a few hours at the gallery, and now I'm about to head off to Childer's to finish up the mural I didn't quite get finished last night.

My dog is the saddest little thing in the world. As I was getting ready to go to the gallery, I told her to go to bed. She started walking really slow and kept turning around, looking at me with sad eyes, hoping I'd change my mind. I finally decided to take her with me to the gallery since I felt so bad about leaving her in there alone all day. When we got there, Heidi, the owner's dog, kept growling at poor Winnie. Winnie just kept wagging her tail and jumping around, completely oblivious that Heidi did not want to be friends. Sue gave Winnie a grape, and she tried with all her might to eat it, but instead kept making weird sour faces. My dog is pathetic.

Went to Hoops

2003-03-26T17:00:00-07:00

Went to Hoops last night in Wednesday fashion. I drank water all night, along with Alan. Both Alan and I have agreed that there is no way we could stick to this diet without a little support. It's rough, man, especially when watching Angie and Brynn eat the pizza I know and love with all my heart. In an act of cruelty, Angie and Brynn took the seats with their back to the kitchen, leaving me and Alan to watch them make pizzas and nachos all night long. It took a lot of will power to keep drinking water and keep not eating pizza.

I did cheat this morning, though, and weighed myself. 190. Which means I've lost 4 pounds since this thing began, which isn't bad. Especially when you consider that I haven't starved myself... on the contrary, I've been eating much more healthy. Veggies and fruits have replaced my usual snacks of... nothing. Anyway, enough about my shitty diet.

So we were sitting there when a guy, drunk off his ass with long, stringy hair comes walking up to me. He points at me and sticks his hand out to shake mine. I comply, and he says "You're Tim Wasson". I was a bit surprised. I know I'm a local celebrity and all (or not), but still. He finished with "I knew I knew you, man. I knew it". I had absolutely no idea who this guy was. He didn't even look vaguely familiar. Finally I had to break down and ask who he was. Turned out it was Mike Rutz, who I went to high school with. He's really, really, really changed. Every once in a while, I caught of glimpse of the Mike Rutz I knew, but for the most part, he looks like a different guy. I only have a few memories of him from high school. 1 was in Ms. Scharle's class, where Mike and I were right next to each other in the front row. At one point in class, Ms. Scharle just shoved her hand down the front of her dress and left it there for about a minute. No one else in the class seemed to notice or care, but me and Rutz were cracking up. As a punishment, she sent us to the back row where we could be even more disruptive.

Freshmen year, I only knew 2 other people at my school, so I was a bit timid and scared. Mike showed me how to master the hallways, and explained to me how it worked like a highway. Then he showed me what would happen if you disobeyed the rules by running headlong into a huge group of upper classmen, knocking down 5 or 6 of them before running away laughing. The rest of the Mike Rutz memories I have involve him finding ingenious ways to smoke dope during school. Once he used a pen cap as a hitter. Crazy guy, but really nice and really funny.

More mural painting

2003-03-29T17:00:00-07:00

More mural painting tonight, but then I'm out of projects. The Jones Brothers cartoon is still waiting for approval and I haven't called the people who want portraits yet, so hopefully I can take care of that on Monday and be busy working this week, as opposed to back on the 'ole couch. I like working again.

I haven't heard back from my potential distributor yet... not sure how long that process will take. I've been checking out sites for books by other independent publishers, and man, do they ever suck. I'm not completely confident in my writing abilities, but I know mine is better than theirs.

My elliptical machine

2003-03-29T17:00:00-07:00

My elliptical machine, the machine helping me lose all this weight and keep it off, died a horrible death tonight during my work out. Can she be repaired? I'm not sure. I'm calling tomorrow about a refund, but my hopes are low considering it's like 6 months old. And it's not paid off yet. Crappy machine!

Work keeps comin'

2003-03-30T17:00:00-07:00

Work keeps comin' my way, and I'm lovin' it.

I got a new wardrobe at Goodwill today. Total cost: $5.40. Total s bumped into: 1. Total pounds lost as of this morning: 65.

Awesome.

2003-03-31T17:00:00-07:00

Awesome.

Here's some pictures.

2003-04-01T17:00:00-07:00

Here's some pictures.

Holy shit. I

2003-04-02T17:00:00-07:00

Holy shit. I just got an email from some guy at The Screensavers who wants to talk to me. Is it possible that they'll fly me out to meet Morgan, Megan, Leo, Pat, and Martin? Cross your fingers for me.

The show I work for is TechTV's primetime technology help & variety
show, "The Screen Savers"; broadcast daily 90-minute live broadcast. TSS is
geared toward helping people with technology: product reviews, interviews with
industry celebrities, instructional segments, etc. If its about technology, we
talk about it! You can visit our website at http://www.thescreensavers.com.

I am very interested in talking with you about your projects and an
appearance on our show!

Question #1: Where are you located?

Please contact me via email, or phone: *secret phone number*

I look forward to hearing from you,

Joshua Brentano

So I got

2003-04-02T17:00:00-07:00

So, I got a link from http://www.memepool.com, and with it came a lot of other good stuff. The Screen Savers possibility, and this:

A friend of mine emailed me your link, beautiful work! My name is Jonathan
and I
am the Editor of a Design, Art and Architecture magazine called Textfield.
We are currently working on our second issue, and I would like to know if
you would be interested
in an article on your Nintendo Computer, perhaps and interview or simpy
publication of your
tutorial?

Yeah, it's all about the NES PC, but it's an art magazine! Maybe if I get my foot in the door there, I can whore myself to them and their readers as an artist rather than a computer nerd. Everything's comin' up Wasson.

Yeah so I

2003-04-02T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so I just called the guy at the Screensavers. He has to get things cleared with the higher-ups, but I may, in fact, be making an appearance on live, national TV! Probably in May if things work out. Go me!

What a disappointing

2003-04-05T17:00:00-07:00

What a disappointing night last night.

I didn't go out like I was supposed to. No one called me. Sad me. Instead I watched TV. Specifically, I watched 2 very disappointing sequels. Blade 2, which was lame, and Cube 2: Hypercube which was ultra-lame. How was Cube 2 even related to Cube 1? Maybe I'm just too dumb to understand it.

On the agenda

2003-04-06T17:00:00-07:00

On the agenda today: do my taxes. Do a portrait. Make a few phone calls. Watch Battle of the Sexes.

I just bought TurboTax, but man, do I ever hate doing my taxes. I'll put it off as long as I can.

Since getting the email and phone call about The Screen Savers, it's really hard for me to think about anything other than my live, national television appearance.

TurboTax sucks ass.

2003-04-09T17:00:00-07:00

TurboTax sucks ass.

$60 for this piece of shit software. Like I can afford that. Sure, it helped me do my taxes, but for $60 it shouldn't be loaded up with advertisements for other software. It put all those annoying shortcuts on my desktop, like "Special offers" and whatever else. It's worse than paying $8 for a movie and having Coke commercials in front of it. If I pay for software, it should be as non-intrusive and non-annoying as possible. Right? Right.

Not a lot has been happening the past few days. Been out a few times. Got off my diet for some hot wings. I haven't lost any weight for quite some time, so I think I'm officially off this shitty fish/chicken/veggie nonsense. I'm happy being a 185 pound man, although I still want to lose this last bit of a spare tire. 65 pounds down, and not much left to lose.

I was supposed to hear about the house and about Screen Savers this week, and I've heard neither. I hate waiting.

House update: They've

2003-04-10T17:00:00-07:00

House update: They've all but accepted our offer on the house. It's pending approval on estimated closing costs, which they should have by this afternoon. Then, hopefully, they'll accept our offer and we'll have a closing date soon. It was a pain, but it's all coming to a close, and it will hopefully all be worth it in the end.

I'm still waiting to hear about The Screen Savers. I want to call and ask about the status, but I don't want to annoy the poor producer I've been annoying so far.

It's going to

2003-04-10T17:00:00-07:00

It's going to be a boring day. The errands I needed to run have been ran, and I can't get a hold of anyone for potential jobs. I'm thinking today will be devoted towards creative activities for yours truly, but can't think of anything I want to do. Suggestions?

Kick ass.

2003-04-10T17:00:00-07:00

Kick ass.

I knew I

2003-04-11T17:00:00-07:00

I knew I had 1 more thing I wanted to mention in that last boring, crappy entry.

I ran into Jerry today at the grocery store. Jerry was one of my team leaders when I worked for Iona. Real nice guy. I had heard that things were looking up for Iona after a long couple of years in which they weren't making a whole lot of profit. Here's what I found out.

The lay offs: A bunch of people were laid off after I left. None of these people were production people, like I was. They were all middle management, or their positions had been kind of outdated. Like the photographer and videographer... they weren't needed anymore, but I was still sure that my position wouldn't have been cut. For about a year, these were the only lay offs.

Recently, they laid off some production people. I probably would have been one of them, since I hadn't been there as long as most of the people that were there. This is where it gets interesting, so pay attention.

The people who weren't laid off, but were deemed relatively useless were given a 4 day work week and their pay was cut 20%. What a slap in the face! Something tells me that's not even legal, although I don't know why I would think that. If nothing else, it's unethical and shitty. That's worse than being legitimately laid off, because you can't even look for another job.

Think it can't get any shittier? The remaining employees, EVERYONE, were given a 10% pay cut. 10% pay cut! For no reason! They cut everyone's salary by 10%! Now, keep in mind that these were the staff deemed USEFUL. These were the ones that lasted through the layoffs and other pay cuts. "Congratulations. You're more useful to us than a lot of the company is (was). As a reward, we want you to work just as hard for substantially less money. Sound good?"

Surprisingly, these moves didn't make anyone else quit. Granted, the multimedia field is shitty right now with no jobs to go around, but still. It makes me so angry that my former employer is treating it's current employees like that. How dare they.

Hopefully things will turn around for them. I've never liked the decisions that the management made, and I don't necessarily like any of the upper management as business men. But as people, I think they're all great. I'd love to talk to all of them again, but I would never, ever, ever work for that stupid ass company again. I mean, I'm an artist with art school training, and I think I'm more capable of running a business than those guys are. They need to listen to their employees more and not just blow off the advice. Pissing off the help isn't going to make your company succeed. Reward them for doing well instead of punishing them for no reason. How insane. I'm so glad to be working for myself after hearing about bullshit like this.

Last night was

2003-04-11T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was super fabulous. Fabish's wife called me for the first time in history to invite me to their house for dinner. I brought some beer and we ate corned beef and cabbage, which was a first for me. And corn and mashed potatoes, but I had eaten those before.

We just dinked around and talked for a while, then Myra got there and we headed to Jimmy's. Fabish and Amy got in some fight about how he wouldn't be weirded out if Amy kissed another girl, and finally he just said "Okay, what do I need to say to stop this fight now?" It seemed pretty diplomatic. I was taking notes.

We also ran into Anna, Mullens' girlfriend, who gave us all sorts of updates about where he was and what he was doing. She's a nice girl.

My ass is

2003-04-11T17:00:00-07:00

My ass is burning. My legs are in such agony. In an effort to end this silly diet thing and hit my 170 mark before June 1st, I've started doubling my normal work out. After my 4 mile jog today, my legs feel like they're going to fall off. It's ridiculous. I just took a long, hot bath to rid myself of some of the soreness, but the results were minimal. Ouch. My poor legs and ass.

Work today was uneventful. Tonight I'm seeing House of 1000 Corpses, after only a 2 year wait to see it finally arrive in theaters. Why are the good movies always stuck on the shelves for years? I can only pray that Freddie vs. Jason will go straight to theaters instead of movie shelf limbo for a few years first.

In a word

2003-04-12T17:00:00-07:00

In a word, House of 1000 Corpses was good. In another word, it was disappointing. In a few words, it wasn't what I expected at all.

I had heard that Rob Zombie was trying to make a 70's horror movie. For some reason, I immediately thought it was going to be a zombie movie. I mean, the guy's name is Zombie for God's sake. Plus, what other kind of horror movie was made in the 70's except zombie movies? Tons of zombies and not much else comes from the 70's. But, alas, this wasn't a zombie movie. It was a "kids get abducted by a weird family and weird shit happens to them" horror movie. Come to think of it, there were a few of those in the 70's too, most notably Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I Spit on your Grave, The Hills Have Eyes, uh... I'm drawing a blank, but there's a few more I can't remember.

Anyway, that's the type of movie it was. Rob said he wanted to make it a horror movie like in the 70's, without this Scream comedy self-referential bullshit nonsense. He did that. No crappy "this is only a movie" jokes or 1-liners, which was awesome. But, I also thought it was going to LOOK like a 70's movie. The kids were all dressed in 70's clothes, and the movie itself took place in 77. But, again, alas, it looked like a bad music video from 1997. They'd cut to ridiculous scenes that didn't have any effect on the movie and the colors would get all funky and stupid. The split screen scenes were way, way, way overplayed. There were scenes where all the action was taking place on 1 side of the screen and the other side was a mirror image of it. Why? I don't know, but it was stupid and gay and lame.

All these directors are coming out now and saying "I loved the horrors of the 70's and 80's, so I'm gonna make one like those!", but they all find a way to fuck it up. I thought Rob would do it right, since I know he's a big fan and the movie was made without any studio interference. The only problem I had with it was the weird music video elements and the weird (big spoiler here) techno-cyber-robotic guys at the end. I know, it sounds like I'm kidding there. I wish I was.

To his credit, I hear the studio chopped the hell out of the movie to get an R instead of an NC-17. Maybe the NC-17 will be better, but I can't see how. I imagine it was just more blood and gore, which isn't even necessary in a horror movie. Texas Chainsaw had very little gore, and that's a classic, great horror flick.

If you're a horror fan like me, you'll see this movie no matter what I recommend. So see it. If you're not, then I'd wait for video or skip it altogether.

After the movie, I went over to Alan's and watched 1 Hour Photo. That movie was 1,000 times creepier than 1,000 Corpses.

I just talked

2003-04-14T17:00:00-07:00

I just talked to the guy at The Screen Savers again. Apparently my project is still on a waiting list to be approved or shot down. I don't know when I'll hear anything, but hopefully soon. I'm getting anxious.

The house situation is annoying. We're almost definitely going to get a "yes", but now interest rates are climbing again. If the bank would just hurry up, we'd be scott free.

Tax day today. Don't forget, kiddies.

So, yesterday I was "officially" off the shitty diet from hell, even though I hadn't really been sticking to it very loyally for the entire 3rd week. To celebrate, me, Alan, Brynn, Angie, Carissa, and Stephanie all partied hearty all day long. Well, most everyone came and went at different points in the day/night, but it was still fun. I got a sun burn, as per usual. We bowled. I got a 122 and a 117. We ate a lot. Too much. Way, way too much. I may or may not have been hit on by the waitress at Hooters. She was paying a lot of attention to me, but she also kept mentioning her boyfriend. I suspect she was just fishing for a tip.

Anyway, in the "too much information" side of things, I woke up about 4 times last night to take a crap, and topped it off this morning with the crap to end all craps. I think my entire intestines and stomach were just full of food, after being relatively empty of food for the past 3 weeks. Anyway, the pressure on my belly and intestines was ridiculously uncomfortable, and as I sat on the toilet I knew that I was not only going to poo, I was going to barf. I kind of leaned most of the way towards my sink while nasty brown junk shot out of both ends of my body. The worst part of the process was cleaning up the puke I couldn't get washed down the drain, which consisted of half-digested curly fries and some seseme seeds. Yum. I hope you all have enjoyed my story.

The house is

2003-04-17T17:00:00-07:00

The house is a-go. The bank has approved our original offer (made in January, believe it or not), and now it's just a matter of when we get the house. We still have a couple of hoops to jump through, but the house is mine, all mine. Yee haw.

Not much else happening these days. Alan and I went to Hoops and ate pizza for the first time in a very long time, and it was more delicious than I even remembered.

Victory is (sort of) served!

2003-04-17T17:00:00-07:00

After calling Best Buy and bitching for the last year or so, I finally just kept saying to people "let me talk to your supervisor" until finally some guy said "I'm an executive. There is no supervisor." I told the guy everything I had done to get this rain check received, and he looked up my account on their computers. I told him it was a slap in the face to spend many thousands of dollars at a store only to be shot down when trying to redeem a raincheck for about $300 worth of stuff. So, he's sending me a $50 gift card. Not exactly as much as I had hoped for, but that's like 3 DVDs, right? Good enough. Best Buy still sucks, but this Tony guy was pretty nice. If I actually get my gift card, I may even shop there again someday.

I went out

2003-04-19T17:00:00-07:00

I went out to my parent's house pretty early this morning to give Winnie the chance to run around and be a stupid dog for a little while. As I pulled up, I saw the neighborhood Chow who runs around seeing everyone in the neighborhood occassionally. They played for a while and I took some pictures (to be posted soon). They looked almost identical, except for this Chow had really, really long hair. Then, the Chow started running home and Winnie followed right behind. I yelled, but she wasn't listening. I chased her about 3/4ths of a mile down the street until the Chow stopped in it's yard and Winnie tried to hide from me behind her. I grabbed her collar and walked her until she started almost choking. Then I picked her up and held her in a very uncomfortable position and carried her the entire way home, yelling at her whenever she tried to move or fight me. So, she's in trouble all day long now. If Winnie disobeys everything I say, she sure as shit better come when I call her. She crossed a very busy road and could have gotten hit. Stupid mutt. I don't think I've ever been so frustrated with her.

So, then we went and saw my grandpa for his birthday. Jack looks more and more like my sister every day. He even said "please" for the first time today, and pointed to me when asked where his Uncle Tim was. What a cutie.

Now I'm waiting for a friend of mine who is in town for Easter to call. We're going to drink beers.

The moment I've been dreading

2003-04-19T17:00:00-07:00

I don't know if I documented the last Barb encounter in this here journal, but in case I didn't, I'll do it again. Barb tried really hard to be my friend again after a long time of being anything but. I wasn't eager or willing to be her friend again, especially not the kind of friend she wanted me to be. After a few months of "Tim is a jerk because he doesn't return every phone call I make or go out of his way to hang out with me", I finally just told her and she and I would never be friends again, and that's okay. We had a past, but we don't have a future. Let's just let it go. I haven't heard from her since, with the exception of a birthday email that I didn't respond to.

I knew that it was only a matter of time before I ran into her somewhere in Peoria. And last night was the night. Brian, John and I were at Old Chicago, and we saw a guy named Tim Gimbert, who I also knew in high school. We were friendly, and he mentioned that he was here with his faincee. I knew that Barb and Nick were good friends with Tim and his fiancee, so I put 2 and 2 together and figured that Barb was probably there. Unfortunately, we were sitting such that they needed to walk by us to leave.

The walk by was the most awkward thing ever. I made eye contact and gave the 'ole nod to say hello, but both Barb and Nick were like frozen, not knowing how to react. Brian waved, and they waved to him because apparently he's not a dickfuck like I am. Brian was a bit offended that they didn't stop and say hi, because they've had nothing but pleasant interactions. I was overwhelmingly happy they just kept walking.

Everyone must have been home for Easter or something, because we saw a lot of people from high school last night. Fun times.

I found an entry about the last time I was 'friends' with Barb. Go me.

Break in

2003-04-20T17:00:00-07:00

Break in #2:

So, my Jeep was broken into last night and they stole my CD player, worth about $30. They left my digital camera, worth about $300. Smart criminals, I'll tell you what.

My back window on the Jeep was ripped to shreds, which would normall suck, except that my top is in terrible shape and this could get me a fat insurance check to buy me a new top and a new $50 CD player. I guess that's my bright side. This is the second time I've opened the door to my car and seen that someone other than me had been in it, moving things around and looking through my shit. It's a weird feeling to say the least.

So even with

2003-04-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, even with the bad news this morning presented me with, it's going to be a good week. I can feel it in my veins.

The break in. With the rips in my top and the water damage on my carpet, I'll be getting a new top, new carpet, new CD player, and new CDs courtesy of the insurance company. For the first time in 7 years, I feel like my car insurance is actually worth paying every month.
So far, I have 4 business meetings this week for murals and portraits. And, if that wasn't good enough, THEY all called ME. That's right, THEY called ME. Which is an amazing feeling. Finally, after doing the freelancing thing for almost 2 years, people are calling me and wanting to pay me for drawing and painting. What a feeling.
Tomorrow I take care of 2 out of the 3 tasks I need to do to finish with this house buying stuff. And, although our interest rate isn't as good as it could have been, it's better than we originally expected. House payment, insurance, and taxes come out to just over $500/month. Not too shabby, if you ask me.
The Screen Savers WILL call this week. I just know it. I just know it.

Update on the robbery:

Some dude just stopped by my apartment. He was taking out his trash when I saw that my car was broken into, so I talked to him about it for a little bit. He just figured out today that his dad's apartment (in my building) as well as his dad's car (parked right next to mine) were broken into. His dad's place gets robbed about once a year, always by the same people who have a grudge against him for some reason. So he gave me a handful of names of people who probably were the ones who broke in. I'm definitely going to call the cops back and tell them what I've learned. It strikes me as ridiculously unfair that people can just break into cars and steal shit and the cops don't even try to find them. Maybe if they get 2 complaints they'll at least investigate a bit and do something about these thieving fuckholes. I'm not expecting this to get me any more money in the insurance thing, or to get my stereo and CDs back, but I want to see the bad guys punished, god damn it.

Fun day yesterday.

2003-04-22T17:00:00-07:00

Fun day yesterday. I finally got to eat at a Chinese Buffet, which I had been craving for weeks. After work I went to Alan's for Simpsons and beer, a tradition which neither of us has taken part in since leaving the old apartment. Brynn and Angie came by later and we hit Jimmy's. I kept saying that I had to be home by midnight because I have a business meeting this morning at 9, only to come home at about 1 and find out that I have to be at the house appraisal at 8 this morning. So, I'm about to leave to that on very little sleep. I'm tired. I want to go back to bed. Instead I have a busy day meeting many strangers.

More good news, and more ways for me to be famous even if this Screen Savers thing doesn't work out.

2003-04-22T17:00:00-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I love it when people call me about doing jobs?

During the appraisal this morning, I get a phone call from a friend of the lady whose class I did a presentation for. What a weird sentence. Anyway, this lady calls looking for local artists to be hooked up with local companies for a project in Peoria. It's sort of like Chicago's cows, or Peoria's pigs, but slightly different. Basically these companies will donate to have a chair built and painted for them by an artist like yours truly. These chairs will be displayed throughout the city, then auctioned off for some charity. The person behind the whole deal: Doug, from Trading Spaces.

Basically she just wanted to put my name on a list of artists who can be contacted about the project. It should be a fun gig, and I'm really looking forward to it.

I've done everything with the house that needs to be done at this point, so it's just waiting for financing, then signing a few more papers, and I'll be in come May 1st. I haven't talked to the current owner about when she plans to leave, but according to my dad, she's really anxious to get out of there. And I'm even more anxious to get in.

It was a

2003-04-25T17:00:00-07:00

It was a boring night last night. I don't really go out on weekends anymore, opting instead to go out on weekdays whenever and wherever the drink specials are. It's part of being broke without a real job.

I downloaded and watched Punch-Drunk Love last night. I can't say that I understand the title, but I'm so stoked that I actually LIKE a Paul Thomas Anderson movie. His other ones have sucked. This one was amazing. It was one of those movies with ridiculous characters who you just fall in love with and feel sorry for. Adam Sandler played the same guy he usually plays... shy and awkward and prone to psychotic outbursts, but he did it so well in this movie without the comedy aspect of it. All of you should go here and read all the quotes from this flick. They'll all hilarious and awkward and great. I can't say enough good things about this movie. It was amazing.

I also downloaded Trapped, which I had been looking forward to for a while. It was less impressive. If I would have watched Trapped first, I may have enjoyed it more.

Today I go to work for a few hours, then I have no plans. I'll probably spend another night at home painting. I like painting.

Drank beers with

2003-04-26T17:00:00-07:00

Drank beers with Alan and Jenny Robb while watching Office Space last night. I like nights that are cheap.

Today is laundry day.

Apparently my Nintendo

2003-04-27T17:00:00-07:00

Apparently my Nintendo Computer was published in Electronic Gamers Monthly. Who knew? Not me. A couple magazines have asked me for permission to be printed, but not them. I just checked Walgreens, but they don't have the latest issue. So, please, anyone reading this who has EGM issue 167, can you please scan in page 56 for me? Be a pal.

I met with

2003-04-28T17:00:00-07:00

I met with the insurance adjuster man today. He was a nice guy with a terrible toupee. Just as I suspected, the costs of a new window/top turns out to be... well, a lot. He does have to adjust for depreciation, which I think is lame and stupid. I mean, just because my top is 5 years old doesn't mean a new one costs less, right? Right? Right?

Anyhoo, so the check is coming soon, I hope. I don't know how much I'll get yet. I hope it's enough because I'm broke as shit.

So yesterday my

2003-04-28T17:00:00-07:00

So yesterday my dog was sick. She took 2 dumps in the morning, and I felt bad locking her in the bathroom, but I had a mural to paint. I came back a few hours later, opened the door to my apartment, and it smelled so bad. Worse than usual even. I was afraid to open the door to Winnie's room, but I had to do what I had to do.

The smell almost gagged me. Winnie came running out and sat by the door, waiting to be let out again. I ran her outside and she squated and shat liquid poo about, honestly, a foot and a half. It was insanity. I let her into the field and took her off her leash. She ran around, squating and pooing every few feet. This went on for about 20 minutes. I took her inside and put her on my deck, knowing that it was about to rain, so that I wouldn't have to clean up anything else if she had another accident. Then it was time to face the shit.

I have a terrible gag reflex. Anything sets it off. The smell almost made me puke. Cleaning up a mixture of puke and shit would be too much for me to bear. I held my breath and cleaned for about 30 seconds at a time before running back out for a few puffs of air. Shit was everywhere. On the floor, walls, bathtub, sink, toilet. The poo literally shot out of her butt.

I sprayed the whole floor with Orange Clean, then spilled bleach all over it, then covered it in OxyClean. That pretty much covered the smell, and it made this cool foam all over the floor. I strapped some paper towels to my shoes and finished the job by wandering around the floor. What a terrible experience.

So that was my day yesterday. Then I watched BOTS. Next week is the last episode, and I'm really sad and disappointed about it. I love that show.

For the first

2003-04-29T17:00:00-07:00

For the first time in the history of my portrait making career, someone was displeased with the results. I shouldn't say displeased. I should say lame, lame, lame, lame, lame.

I hate it when bankers try to be artists. Okay, I hate it when anyone tries to be an artist who isn't one. It's not that I don't have thick skin about criticism... I do. It's just that I think the people criticisizing need to know something about what they critique.

So I go into this bank to hand over a portrait I did, and he immediately starts talking about how the glisten in the eyes is different than it is in the photo. "Yeah, it is," I say, "because I took a few artistic liberties with it. The photo was taken in an office building with harsh overhead lighting, so I lightened up some shadows and put in some details that would have been there in better lighting conditions."

He held the photo right next to the portrait and pointed out every little thing that was different, including a few variences in the shirt pattern and wrinkles. Finally I said "It's a portrait, not a photograph. It's an artistic representation, not an exact duplication. If you want a photograph on your wall, then you should get a photograph."

I, of course, offered to make a few small changes, which he will be charged for. For anyone reading this, please pay attention. Paying an artist to do a portrait gives that artist some license to change, modify, exaggerate, accent, tone down, etc. The most important part of a portrait is looking at it and seeing the person you want to see, NOT that every hair is in the same place and every line on the face is exactly right. I think I did my job well, and I think he has no idea what the point of a portrait is. So, that's my frustration for the day. I hope you've enjoyed it.

It's fate baby

2003-04-30T17:00:00-07:00

It's fate, baby, fate.

Terrible day today. Terrible, frustrating, awful fucking day. I won't bore you with the details, but I will say that it has to do with financing for my house and my lack of tax knowledge.

The good part of today... I was working at the gallery and my dad stopped in. I assumed it was about the house and the paperwork and the nonsense. Nope. He was just at a baby store getting something for Jack and the lady in front of him in line asked about someone to paint murals. The lady working handed her a book saying an artist had dropped it off. They had nothing to do with the artist except they referred people to him. My dad waited for this lady to leave, then asked what it took to be an artist that they would push. Apparently, all I have to do is drop something off. People haven't been happy with the quality of that painter anyway, and they were looking for a new one to push. And, they're also looking for an artist to do sketches of some type. I need to stop in and get the details. I'm so glad this is working now. This fits. This feels right. This feels like what I'm supposed to be doing, and I think everything is finally falling into place.

Praise the Lord

2003-05-01T17:00:00-07:00

Praise the Lord that my car got broken into! Praise Jesus! Yay! I'm getting a check in the mail for $625, which will cover the cost of a new top AND a new CD player AND probably most of the CDs that were stolen. Awesome.

So Simon Rickards

2003-05-02T17:00:00-07:00

So, Simon Rickards is a putz. He emailed me a couple days ago because I posted stuff on junkmachine.com about him, calling him a fag. He emailed me, threatening a lawsuit, and I emailed back, telling him to shove it. Now he's changed the nameserver information on junkmachine illegally, and essentially taken the site offline. This is illegal and a total abuse of power on the part of a host. I'm pissed beyond words. I'm going to bitch and moan until he gets fired. I hate him.

junkmachine is still

2003-05-03T17:00:00-07:00

junkmachine is still down, but since my new host kicks a ridiculous amount of ass, they switched everything to junkpit.com for me. So all the content is there, with just a few litte bugs here and there. They'll get sorted out soon enough.

I saw Identity last night. I loved it. It was awesome. I don't want to say too much about it, but it was a really interesting, though provoking movie. And very different from the typical Jon Cusack movie. I love that guy.

Today I'm doing more laundry.

junkmachine.com is back

2003-05-04T17:00:00-07:00

junkmachine.com is back up and running, but I ain't done makin' a stink about it yet. Simon Rickards will pay, damn it.

Oy vey. So

2003-05-04T17:00:00-07:00

Oy vey. So, a couple of things to preserve for myself and no one else. I'm concerned about Jaimee's feelings, so this is a private post. She seems unconcerned about my feelings, so I don't know why I'm bothering, but there ya go.

So, I went into deliver a portrait to an investment banker. While there, he sat me and his assisstant down, and basically interviewed me for a date with her. I thought it was funny, she was really humiliated. At the end of this session, he set us up on a date and gave us money to go out with. We saw Identity, then spent a couple hours at IHOP just talking. It was fun. It was good. She's a cool girl and I like her a lot. The only real issue I see is that she has a 2 year old girl.

I don't want to be one of those guys who writes off a person just because they have a kid. I think I'm over that. But, I do want to do this more carefully because of it. See, I think it's okay for me to date a girl for a month or so and come to the conclusion that we're not a good couple, then just call it a day. When you juggle a daughter in there, it's a harder situation. I don't want to date her for a month or 2, get attached to her daughter and have her attached to me before leaving. That seems unfair. So, I'm just going to go extremely slow and extremely carefully. We'll go out as friends for a while and meet each other's friends. I like meeting new people and I always need more friends, so that will be good no matter what. If we decide to make it romantic, we'll be damn sure that we're going to be romantic for a while. The other concern is that she weighs 84 pounds. Literally. My goal weight is twice her size. That makes me feel really fat, but I have a feeling I can get over that pretty quickly.

So, the Jaimee situation. I don't want to tell her any of this, despite the understanding that I'll never see her again as long as we live. I've accepted that, and so has she. We'll never see each other. We'll never be together again. We were talking on the phone yesterday and she brought up me living in Peoria, and added the phrase "for the rest of your life", all sarcastic as if it were a bad thing. I don't think it is. She also said she was going to try to get me to leave. What a horrible thing to say.

I don't hate Peoria as much as a lot of people do. I like having roots here, and a past. I like driving by an intersection and having a story about it. I like going out on weekends and running into people I knew from years and years ago. I like having something in common with a lot of people. I like knowing the same people other people know. I like knowing where stuff is. I love having the history I have with my friends. Me and Fabish have a 23 year history. I will never have that with anyone else for the rest of my life. I'll never grow up with anyone else, and I like the security of knowing he's going to be there. Even some of my newest friends, like Alan, I've known for 4 or 5 years. That's an awesome feeling. Why would I leave that? How could I? How could I leave and not watch my nephew grow up? How could I not be there for my dad when he needs me?

That stuff makes me happy. Sure, Peoria isn't the best city in the world, but it's my city. I know it well. I have stories here, and a past. My career is blooming. I'm happy here. I like it. I don't want to start over. I want my past and my present to be the same. I can't imagine that living in 1 town your entire life can be considered bad or wrong. I think what Jaimee does is wrong. Leaving everywhere and everyone she knows every 8 or 10 months? How is that a way to live your life? Having your best friends live thousands of miles away? Talking to them on the phone once a month and being content to call that a friendship? Why and how does she consider that healthy? My life is better than hers. I wanted to give her the stability and the roots, and she wanted to give me the instability of moving all the time. No thanks.

I've never been so sure that it was over between me and her than I was last night on the phone. And that's a shame.

It was a

2003-05-05T17:00:00-07:00

It was a busy day yesterday. I'm doing more painting at Sully's on their food cart, which will be pretty fun. Yesterday was just a meeting, and since I'm painting on stainless steel I'll need to do some research on the best paints to use. I also need to get some sort of stencil or frisket film because he wants the Sully's logo, which shouldn't have a "hand painted" look to it... it should be flat and smooth. So that will be a trying experience.

Anyhoo, after that it was time to pick up my new Jeep top and get it installed. Only no such luck, because I had to babysit my nephew, which I had completely forgotten about until it was time to babysit. What a cute freaking kid he is. He whined a little bit when my sister left, but no crying. Fabish and Amy were walking around the neighborhood and saw Jack and me playing outside and stopped to say hello. He whined even more when they left. The amount of words the kid knows is incredible. The ones he can say clearly ar few and far between (duck, bike, bye bye), but he at least tries to say a ton more. "Please" sounds a lot like a rasberry. "Thank you" sounds like "Danks". "Clock" sounds like "clawcockclawcock". We're still working on "Uncle Tim".

It was supposed to rain last night, and since my Jeep top had already been removed and there was no time to put the new one on, I switched cars with my dad, parked my Jeep in his garage and took his truck. After that, it was the finale of Battle of the Sexes (my boyz represented), and after that Alan, Angie and I met for a drink or 2 at Kouri's, which was really crowded considering it was almost 11 on a Monday night.

And speaking of Kouri's, Polk, let's go to Kouri's on Friday.

We're A-GO, baby! A-GO, A-GO, A-GO! Baby baby, GO!

2003-05-06T17:00:00-07:00

June 10th-13th, I will be out in beautiful San Francisco, starring in my very own episode of The Screen Savers. Okay, well, I won't be the star, and there will more than likely be several other people sharing the episode with me. But still. I'll be on live, national television with my stupid Nintendo Computer, I'll have speaking lines and I'll totally hit on Morgan Webb. Kick ass, baby. Kick ass.

I bet someone from a major network will see the episode and offer me my own sitcom or something. That is my prediction.

I painted a

2003-05-08T17:00:00-07:00

I painted a food cart for Sully's. It sucked ass. It's one of those food carts that sits downtown in the courthouse. They had locked up the cart in a dark alley, where I did my painting. It was stainless steel, and despite purchasing all new paints, nothing would stick worth a damn. The alley smelled like urine. I was afraid to sit on the ground because of the aforementioned urine smell. So I squatted the entire time, really hurting my legs. The final product turned out pretty mediocre because of the paint issues and the uncomfortability issues. But such is life, right?

Tonight is dinner at Kouri's with Bryan J. Polk himself. The rest of the weekend will be spent bored, by myself, dreaming of my live national television appearance. Fame and fortune, here I come.

It's going to

2003-05-08T17:00:00-07:00

It's going to rain tonight and tomorrow. Good for grass, bad for me, since I was supposed to make money painting outside tomorrow.

Polk, we still on for Kouri's? Outside may not work, but Kouri's food is good inside, even.

The closing on my house is Tuesday. Tomorrow I have a meeting with a computer store to sell parts on my website. Since The Screen Savers will make me a national celebrity and turn me into a common household name, I want to profit when I can. I love to profit.

The easiest $20 I never made

2003-05-11T17:00:00-07:00

I went to Sully's to collect on the food cart I painted. Here's the conversation I had with the owner.

"So how much do I owe ya?"
"Let's say $220. I had to buy about $40 worth of paints and supplies, so..."
"$240! What an excellent price! I'll get my checkbook."
"Uh... okay."

Closing on my

2003-05-12T17:00:00-07:00

Closing on my house is today.

I just realized that my post yesterday didn't state how I was going to be a national celebrity. That's a shame. I think all my posts should note that at least once or twice.

I saw X2 last night with Robert. I had heard so much about how awesome the fight scene was when Wolverine went apeshit in the mansion that I couldn't help but be a tad disappointed. But damn, Anna Paquin is fine, fine, fine. Even with those wierd teeth.

What a stressful

2003-05-13T17:00:00-07:00

What a stressful day. Closing on a house sucks ass.

So, I get up at about 9:30 and go through the regular morning routine, then call the mortgage place to get an exact dollar figure I need to bring in. "Oh, we don't have it yet. Call back in an hour." 11:00. "Not yet. Give us an hour." Noon. "Yeah, we still don't have it. Can you call back in an hour?" Getting worried. 1:00 "Uh... we're getting that right now. Please call back in an hour." "In one hour it will be 2:00. If I don't know by 2:00, the closing won't happen today since I need to get the cashier's check, the deed, various other legal papers, and meet downtown at 3:00. We're on a tight time schedule here." "Right, please call back in an hour."

At 2:00 they had all the info I needed. I made 3 quick stops to get various business papers and money, then headed downtown. I was about 5 minutes late, but still the first one there. My dad came later. The "escrow officer" was next, then the mortgage broker. Wendy, the seller? Uh... nowhere to be found.

By 3:30 I had signed all the papers that needed to be signed and Wendy had to sign about 15 or 20. But where is Wendy? I don't know. We called her house about 20 times, and her work. We called her boyfriend, her exhusband, her aunt. Nowhere. She's simply disappeared.

4:00 rolls around and there's another closing, so we all have to go, despite no signatures from Wendy and no official closing. Basically, no signatures mean no financing, means no house.

As we leave, I'm both hugely frustrated, hugely angry, and my blood is boiling. I say to my dad "Well dad, on my way home I'm going to stop by Wendy's and yell at her." "That's a good idea. I'm coming too."

We stop there at about 4:30 and start pounding on the doors and ringing the doorbell. We don't stop. Pound pound pound, ring ring ring. Her car is in the garage and there's lights on in the house and the air conditioner is on. She's at home. We know it, but she's not answering the door. It's becoming pretty apparent that she's decided not to sell the house and instead has chosen to ignore us completely. I'm fuming. I'm ridiculously angry. I'm pounding on the doors and windows and yelling for her to come to the door. Finally I just decide to write a note.

I write an angry, vicious note saying that she's signed legal documents that are forcing her to sell her house. She has $1000 of our earnest money which she owes us. If she doesn't get the closing papers signed, then we're going to press charges. It's legally fraud (says our mortgage broker) which can get her some prison time. I write all that down and leave it on her back door. As I'm climbing into my Jeep, she comes outside.

"Wendy? What the fuck?"
"What?"
"Closing was 2 hours ago. What are you doing?"
"No, closing is tomorrow."
"No, closing is 2 hours ago. Let's go. Right now."
"Wait, no, I've cleared tomorrow for it. I'll just do it tomorrow."
"No. The papers are dated. If you don't get it done today, there will be about 6 weeks worth of paperwork to get us back to this point. (complete bullshit, but hey, whatever works)."
"Oh, well, I just woke up."
"I don't give a shit. Let's go. We're going. Right now. Get in the car."

We go and make the escrow lady stay about an hour overtime to get this mess dealt with. She was a nice lady and very understanding. Our mortgage broker, who has been doing this for over 20 years, has never seen someone not show up at a closing. I mean, it's a pretty important thing. You'd think you'd mark it on a calendar and set an alarm. Since everything has gone wrong while purchasing this house, I should have guessed that she wouldn't show up. I guess I gave her too much credit.

Wendy signed all the papers and we closed on the house. It's mine, all mine. Wendy seems to realize that I'm being extremely friendly by letting her stay there until the end of the week, and even hosting a garage sale for her this weekend. So that's all good stuff. But really, what else could have gone wrong? Nothing else, that's what.

The weirdest part? Despite being in foreclosure and going through the short sale and Wendy spending the earnest money we gave her (don't ask), Wendy STILL walked away with a couple hundred bucks. Can you believe it? I can't. Fucking weird, man.

We suspect she's on drugs. I mean, who can sleep past a house closing, 20 phone calls, 20 minutes of doorbell ringing and door knocking, and act like it's an everyday occurance? I shouldn't make assumptions like that, but something weird is going on with that lady, believe me. She asked the date about 5 times while signing those documents today. She can't keep up with her house payments or bills. There's just something shady going on. Anyway, whatever, it's dealt with now.

All her stuff is still in the house. I'm letting her use 1 stall in the garage until June 1st, and after that, whatever is in there is mine. Me and Fabish are moving her stuff from the house into the garage on Friday. We're doing that because there's no way she'll ever get it done herself, and she needs to realize I'm serious about the May 15th date I gave her. So that's the story, morning glory. It's been extremely stressful and frustrating today, and I'm looking forward to having drinks with Fabish and Alan, coming up here in a couple minutes. Ah beer. You've never slept through an important day in my life.

So far Wendy

2003-05-14T17:00:00-07:00

So far, Wendy has called about 6 times today about the status of her packing and arranging. Every time, she offers me more free furniture. Every time, I say "yeah, sure. Whatever you don't want, just leave it and I'll take care of it." She keeps going down a list of free furniture, and I keep giving her the same response. I'm not going to answer the phone anymore when she calls.

We already got a good deal on the house. She's already given me all her lawn care equipment and grill and lawn furniture and many other things. It's getting to be a better and better deal, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.

Today was supposed

2003-05-14T17:00:00-07:00

Today was supposed to be a day of cookouts and good times. Instead, it will be a day of me packing stuff and working on my website. Awesome.

Why are they

2003-05-15T17:00:00-07:00

Why are they doing this? Why?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is being remade. With Jessica Biehl. Produced by Michael "Pearl Harbor" Bay. Taken directly out of Premiere magazine:

"Will this movie be grimy and gritty like the first one? No, they did that already."

"People want to see that chainsaw taking it's toll."

No! No! No! You've got it all wrong, Michael "stupid ass" Bay! Horror movies should be gritty and grimy and, yes, SCARY. Horror movies should not be clean, polished, "hot young hollywood" type "I know what you did last summer" bullshit.

Why does everyone think Texas Chainsaw Massacre was full of blood? There was hardly any blood at all. Hardly any gore. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think anyone died on screen. People don't need to see a "chainsaw taking it's toll" to enjoy a scary movie. I doubt anyone involved with the project has even seen the first one. And if they had, why would they remake it? It's already perfect. I can only hope this will be like the color version of Psycho, which people will only see out of curiousity, then trash afterwards, to encourage people not to touch the classics.

In the picture, there's a sweaty Jessica Biehl with her shirt pulled up, exposing her belly. She's surrounded by sweaty, good looking guys with big muscles and some other girl with a low cut dress who looks a little fimilar. Where's Franklin, the fat kid in a wheelchair? Why? Why? Why?

Wendy called me

2003-05-16T17:00:00-07:00

Wendy called me 4 times in the course of about 10 minutes just now. I have bought all her couches, tables, end tables, and desks in her entire house for $200. While I do feel bad about it, I don't feel THAT bad. It's more than she would have goten by leaving it in my garage for 3 weeks before I end up with it for free.

The Journal Star has contacted me about an article on yours truly, how I'll be a national celebrity and all. It's a weird time for me, for sure.

I'm bored. I want someone to call me so I can leave my apartment. I'm sick of being here. Hopefully next week, I'll be gone for good. I can't wait.

I have just

2003-05-17T17:00:00-07:00

I have just inherited all of Wendy's tools, including a circular saw and electric sander, both of which I desperately needed. Awesome.

This weekend I did absolutely nothing. Fabish had a cook out, but I was still home by 8. Last night I watch Reign of Fire on Starz. That movie sure was awesome. I hate everyone who wouldn't see it with me when it was out in the theaters.

I emailed Brice about my trip to San Francisco. Since he lives in San Jose, I figured it was just a hop, skip, and jump away and we could meet up for lunch of dinner or something. He emailed back and said sure thing. I haven't talked to the kid in a long, long time. Almost 2 years now. So that's exciting. I like seeing old friends and catching up with them. Wolford, I'll be sure to give a full report on him, since I know you're best friends.

The new timwasson.com

2003-05-17T17:00:00-07:00

The new timwasson.com is done. I hate writing biographies. Now I'm working on the NES PCs shopping cart. Then I'm doing a few other junkmachine related things. Apparently th eNES PC has now been published in The Edge Magazine, which is a UK based magazine, I guess. Weird.

My house is nearly cleaned out. We talked to a contract worker guy about doing my floors. Apparently it will be about 6 or 8 hours of sanding, followed by 5 coats of polyurethane, which will take a total of about 4 days. So, that kind of sucks. I can't start REALLY moving out for at least 4 or 5 days. Ah well.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.

How do those

2003-05-20T17:00:00-07:00

How do those Trading Spaces people do it?

It's been a really busy 2 days for me. Yesterday I worked at the house. All day. Stripping paint off old chairs, nearly burning my skin off with the paint remover. Priming the horrible bedroom from hell. Various other small tasks. Today I went into work at the gallery for a few hours then headed back to the house. Alan and Brandon came by to help me paint. We got the living room, sitting room, and hallway painted stark white as opposed to the aged, antique, nicotine filled white she had before. The difference was truly remarkable. It was so bright and cheery in there after all was said and done.

We also filled the nail holes and a big hole in the old plaster. It's really looking nice. Tomorrow we're finishing the paint job in the dining room, then a guy is coming to help out with the floors. By the end of the day tomorrow, the main floor in the house will be transformed from a run down, dirty place to an amazing clean and fresh place. I'll take pictures, don't worry. It'll be nice, nice, nice.

Winnie seems to like the outside, but mostly just stands at the back door, looking in, waiting for me to come out. When I do, she runs around like an idiot. Then I go back in, and she stands and looks at the door some more. She'll get used to it.

Brandon knows about a place in town who has been looking for an art director. I could be an art director, right?

Holy fucking Christ

2003-05-21T17:00:00-07:00

Holy fucking Christ Almighty. Redoing hardword floors can suck my balls off. I hate it so much. Sand sand sand, noise noise noise, vibrate vibrate, faceful of dust. Crap crap, suck suck, hate hate. I hate you, hardwood floors.

I'm not done yet. Hopefully I'll finish sanding tomorrow and put my first coat of varnish on. 24 hours later comes the 2nd coat, then the 3-6th coats applied 6 hours apart. It'll take some time. Some sucky ass mother fucking time that I don't mother fucking have. I still have to build another NES PC in enough time to UPS it to San Fran, and, of course, MOVE. I hate moving. I hate packing. I haven't even started packing. Today was the 3rd 14 hour day I've spent at the house, and tomorrow will be the 4th. This sucks. I wish I had more time.

And on top of it all, people keep calling for me to do work for them. It's great, sure, but where were they when I had time to work with them?

My balls hurt from being shaken around by a huge belt sander all day. My poor balls. I'm going to go massage them now.

I just got

2003-05-21T17:00:00-07:00

I just got done with the big drum sander. My nose is full of sawdust and it feels all weird. I keep picking it, and get huge handfuls of sticky, nasty dust. It's really disgusting. Have I mentioned I hate redoing hardwood floors?

So, I was going to return the big sanders to the rental place, then go pick up Winnie and take about a half hour break. I was really looking forward to it, since I haven't really had any kind of a break in about 4 days. Then I saw that Winnie had shat herself again. So I spent my break trying not to puke while cleaning up a bunch of dog shit. I fucking hate life. My day has consisted of trying to get sawdust out of my nose and cleaning up dog shit on my hands and knees. I don't want to work on the house tonight. But I will.

I think breathing

2003-05-22T17:00:00-07:00

I think breathing saw dust and varnish for a couple days made me temporarily crazy in the coconut. Me, my sister, and my mom spent 6 hours in my yard cleaning up crap back there. Then I mowed. I tried to trim, but couldn't start the damn trimmer. Damn trimmer.

Now it's break time. At 5, we're going to visit my grandpa because my aunt is in from Missouri. Then I'm going to come home and put a 2nd coat on those floors. They look even better today than they did yesterday.

PLUS!

2003-05-22T17:00:00-07:00

Plus, $29! $29 from my online Nintendo computer store in the past 24 hours. Did I mention the shopping part just went live... oh, about 24 hours ago? Fame, here I am! Fortune, here I come! Screen Savers, make me a superstar with cash to burn!

Remember all that

2003-05-22T17:00:00-07:00

Remember all that bitching about redoing the floors? Forget I said any of it. The 4th 14 hour day in a row working on the damn thing, and we put on the 1st layer of poly. Holy crap, that is a nice looking floor. It was worth every second, even though I'll be picking sawdust out of my hair and nose for weeks. Nice, nice, nice.

Ah... had a

2003-05-25T17:00:00-07:00

Ah... had a fun time at Bryan J. Polk's big Hawaiian birthday bash last night. I got to meet many of the people I've only heard stories about, and see many of the people I haven't seen very often, IE, Mister Jim. His hair was way gayer than I remembered it being.

Today I hope to finish up the NES PC so tomorrow will be clear to pack and start getting crap out of my apartment. Wee.

how cool is

2003-05-27T17:00:00-07:00

how cool is this?

Tonight, my dad and I installed a new outlet in my kitchen. That was fun. Now I'm going to take a bit of a break to watch The Daily Show and then I'm going to start packing for my big move, which is tomorrow, hopefully. I don't plan on getting all the way out, but hopefully I'll only have 1 more truckload before I'm ready to be done with this awful apartment.

I just picked

2003-05-27T17:00:00-07:00

I just picked up a 40 foot U-Haul for today. Let me just say that driving one of those things sucks ass. It's a 5 speed with a messed up shifter and it's the biggest damn car on the road at any given time. It freaks me out. Why did they have to be out of the 20 foot ones? Damn those U-Haulers.

Sweet Holy Jesus

2003-05-27T17:00:00-07:00

Sweet Holy Jesus, moving can lick my nuts. It sucks. Sucks sucks, and sucks some more. Everything hurts. Driving around in that huge truck sucked. Here's a story.

So, it's a 40 foot U-Haul, and I drive it at a level that only a few people would call competent. I'm scared to death to even try reversing. So, I had Alan stand outside and yell directions to me as I did exactly what he told me to do. Part of this contract I signed says that I have to return it with a full tank of gas, so the entire day I'm dreading the trip to the gas station, where I know I'll need to maneuver it around tight quarters that could explode if I mess up. It's a diesel, of course, so we need to wait for the diesel pump to open up. After blocking traffic waiting for a car to move to open up the pump for about 5 minutes, I pull around the station to line myself up with the diesel pump. By the time I get there, a minivan has stolen my spot. I made Alan ask the guy to move before he started pumping his gas. He complied, but he looked pissed off while moving.

I eventually got the hang of the thing, right when it was time to return it. I actually enjoyed the drive back to the U-Haul.

Now I'm tired, and I can tell by the because the inside of my eyelids are burning a little bit. But, I have to pack up my little stuff into big boxes to move tomorrow. Plus, I'm thinking of going to Hoops tonight. I'm tired, but shit, I needs me my social interaction.

I just left

2003-05-31T17:00:00-07:00

I just left my old apartment for the last time (hopefully), and I gotta say, it wasn't a sad event like it was to leave the apartment on Underhill. Sure, I had a lot of good times and a lot of good memories at the old, shitty apartment on Viking Court, and I don't think I'll ever live on a street with a name as cool a "Viking Court" ever again (editors note: in a lot of movies edited for television, they say "viking" instead of "fucking", because the lip movements are almost identical). Anyway, I've chalked it up to the fact that Underhill was a college apartment. It was where I drank a ton of beer, fired a ton of bottle rockets into weird places, threw up a lot, entertained a lot, etc. Leaving that apartment was the end of an era, sort of. And that was sad. Leaving this apartment was... well... nothing. It didn't mean anything. No kind of symbolism or anything. It was just... leaving. Gone.

In other news, because of the new tenants we've seen at my old apartment complex, we think they're starting to give apartments out to government programs supporting underage mothers, juveniles, runaways, etc. It's hard to find renters, and I don't blame them, I guess. It's just that's not the type of place I thought I'd end up living in after the extensive credit checks and income statements I had to turn in to get into the apartment in the first place.

So moving sucks.

2003-05-31T17:00:00-07:00

So, moving sucks. I'm still not out of my old apartment, but there's not a lot left to move. Tomorrow I'm cleaning up the joint and callin' it a day. It will be good to finally be out of the joint.

I'm fucking beat down right now. I'm so tired. It's been a long few days, and moving sucks even more when no one is around to help you do it. Even if someone were just hanging around to talk to, it would have made the task more bareable. Fuck moving. Moving blows. I'll be glad once I'm settled into this hizouse and won't move for a couple years. Awesome.

More things comin'

2003-06-01T17:00:00-07:00

More things comin' up Wasson.

So I called my phone company because the previous lady I talked to told me to call this week and see if I could get the date my DSL is activated pushed up a bit. Well, it turns out they never filed the order to transfer the DSL from my old place to my new one. Sucks, right? Oh wait, no it doesn't. Instead of the transfer order, she put in an order for a new DSL line. Which means no transfer fee (that would have cost $50), a credit on my equiptment ($100), and cheaper service for the year because it's a new contract ($6/month). So I came out way ahead. And the date which the DSL is installed doesn't change because they messed up and put in a rush order.

Then, then, THEN I go to Sears to return my busted elliptical machine, and I get a $20 credit because it's cheaper now than when I bought it. If I knew moving would save me so much dough, I woulda done it a long time ago.

Today my mommy is coming over to clean my house.

So the nervousness

2003-06-04T17:00:00-07:00

So, the nervousness about the whole TV appearance is setting in. I haven't finished my NES PC, and time is getting tight.

My house is still not unpacked. There's boxes and clutter everywhere.

There was a job in the classifieds yesterday for an illustrator. I'm going to go see what that's all about.

There's a package waiting for me at the post office. I haven't the foggiest idea who it's from.

Tomorrow is dinner at Kouri's.

Last night was

2003-06-06T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was a sack 'o fun. It was Kouri's night, of course, but the regular group of just me and Polk tripled in the last week, and included Captain Kerr, some guy named Brian who I had never met but had cool hair, Dana, and Cross Eyed Josh. After din din, I rode in a fancy BMW to watch Noodle's band play. After most of the group had left, I met my fan club. I wish someone had been around to see these guys worshipping me, my television appearance, and my NES PC.

Then Dana and I headed to Richards where we met Jenny, Dayv, a girl whose name is pronouced "Twee" but I won't even try to use the real spelling, Alan, Adam, and a couple others. I came home way too late and worked way too long today and I'm piss ass tired like a mother.

Tonight is the welcome home party for a Marine friend of mine who just got back from Iraq after a 6 month or so stay. It'll be good to see everyone again, even if I pass out from the tiredness of it all.

4 days until I'm a celebrity.

Went out hardcore

2003-06-07T17:00:00-07:00

Went out hardcore like a rock star to celebrate Mullens' return to the good 'ole US of A last night. It was a good time, and over the course of about 6 drinkin' hours, I managed to spend roughly $3. People were buying drinks and passing them around, and I drank. And I drank. And man, was I drinkin'.

We were at Jimmy's until it closed, then headed to Richard's until it was almost closed. I gave piggy back rides and dry humped many legs. Fabish was there, and it's always good to see the lad. Wolford was there, and it's always good to see that lad, too. Everyone who hasn't seen me in a few months said I look like some sort of mountain man or homeless man, due to the crazy hair and awesome beard. I took those as compliments.

Starting last night, Alan is my room mate again.

And the nervousness

2003-06-09T17:00:00-07:00

And the nervousness sets in like you would not even believe.

I couldn't sleep last night. My heart is just racing all the time. I guess it's nervousness and anxiety and anticipation and a fear of royally fucking up on national television. I'm really worried there's something I missed. Something I did wrong, or completely forgot to do. I feel unprepared. I feel preoccupied. For everything I get done today, I think of 10 more I need to do. And tomorrow I'll be in San Francisco on television. And that's fucking with my head.

I used to get nervous like this before the plays I was in in high school. Then, while backstage a few minutes before I went on, all the nervousness went away. Like magic. It disappeared, and I always did an okay job with it. I hope that's what'll happen tomorrow.

Out of curiousity, I went to The Screen Saver's site to see if there was going to be a celebrity or something on the show with me. There's not, but my project is listed on the main site and it's the first thing listed, with a picture, with me by name, on the "tomorrow's show" page. You can see that here.

Anyway, I'm fucking nervous and freaking out just a little bit. I'll be okay. Things will be okay. Leave me a comment if you're going to watch me on TV tomorrow. Sometime between 6-7 Central time. TechTV. Channel 354 on DirecTV, and I have no idea what channel it is on Dish Network or any other cable plan. Watch me on TV.

Man it's been

2003-06-13T17:00:00-07:00

Man, it's been a long couple of days of not sleeping much and traveling a whole lot. I'll start out this post by saying I didn't suck, and that all of the Screen Savers are the nicest people ever.

So, Monday night I spent the day finishing up the work on NES PC part 3 and loading up the software. At around 1 am, my roommate really wanted to play with it and see what it could do, so I walked over and hit the power button. Nothing. I pushed and held the power button. Nothing. I wiggled it, and it finally started turning on for a couple seconds at a time. Oh shit. I started freaking out just a little bit, because it was 1 in the morning and I was leaving for Chicago the next day, and it needed to work by then. I
was bracing myself for an all-nighter of fixing this blasted machine when it finally booted up. I don't know what went wrong, but it hasn't gone wrong since.

So, Tuesday I had to write a quick article and bio for the TechTV website and sent those along with some pictures to put up. I packed everything up into my big green suitcase, picked up my dad's truck since my Jeep is remarkably unsuited for a road trip, and headed off to see Wolford and Toni in a suburb of Chicago.

I hadn't slept much on Monday night. I was really nervous about the TV thing, and a bit freaked out about the power button incident that had just happened. I also had to wake up bright and early on Tuesday to finish things up for myself and my NES PC. So, I was really tired as I completed the 3 hour drive to my friends' apartment.

After a bit of chit-chat I was left alone to take a quick nap. I'm not the napping type, but after about 2 hours of sleep on Monday night, I passed out really quick. Toni came back from her softball game and found me passed out on her couch. She woke me up and drug me to dinner and drinks with a few of her friends from softball. I would have had a good time if it wasn't for the nerves and the sleepiness and the fact that I had just woken up.

We got back to her place at around 11, and Wolford was there. Of course I had to chat with him a bit, but by midnight I was ready for a solid 3 and a half hours of sleep. I had to wake up at 3:30 AM because I was an hour away from the airport, my flight left at 8, and I was bracing myself for a long, long, long check in period. With all the security these days, I thought there was no way I'd ever get on a plane carrying fancy electronics inside of an old Nintendo case. In fact, my entire bag was filled with tons of electronic toys. No one batted an eye, and I was at my gate about 2 hours early.

I landed in Oakland about 4 hours later and found another buddy waiting to pick me up at the airport. His car was loaded with all sorts of fancy GPS gadgets, so we didn't get lost while heading to the TechTV studios. We checked in with Dan, who can sometimes be seen in the background of Screen Savers episodes, dropped off my huge bag, and headed to grab some lunch with Brice.

The walk around San Francisco while looking for food was the most I saw of the city on my whirlwind trip. We settled on some crappy Mexican place. About halfway through the meal I realized I shouldn't be eating Mexican food, because it may give me the shits on live television. I could just picture myself talking to Leo and all of the sudden shitting my pants. On live TV. That wouldn't have been very cool. So I threw away the rest of my meal and paid a bit too much attention to my bowels to see if they were acting up. They weren't. Crisis averted.

Anyway, it was back to the studio to meet Joshua Brentano, the producer who had done all the work to get me on TV. He sat as down at the LAN party computers while he took care of some things. It was a surreal experience, passing guys like Yoshi and Kevin in the hallway, sitting at the LAN party computers, and even meeting Joshua, who has been in a few episodes of the show. After more of the cast started showing up, I just sort of wandered around talking to people. The show I was on was also the show that featured the X Box controller that would shock your hand when you got hit. I was the first to test it out, and although some people describe it as the same sensation as licking a 9V battery, it wasn't. It was more like getting bitten by a chipmunk. That shit hurt. I took it like more of a man than Leo to that Lowell guy did, though. I'm tough.

So, for the next couple hours it was basically just wandering around, talking to Yoshi and getting a tour of the whole joint with Joshua. Leo and Pat either were busy or just looked busy, so I didn't get a chance to talk to either of them before the show. They were shooting promos for the next day's show and commercials and things. Oh, yeah, I forgot that I had to shoot a couple of "teasers", as they call them. Basically, before the commercial breaks they show teasers of what's about to happen on the show. They were shooting mine with Yoshi, and they wanted us to be playing a game on my NES PC. So, I get things set up and the cameras are
setting up, and I realize that my controller isn't working. Yoshi's is fine, but mine is just not reacting at all. So, while the cameras are rolling and the video game is playing in the background, I'm actually saying to Yoshi, "What the hell? Why isn't my controller working?" Anyway, hopefully that wasn't obvious on TV.

Alright, so rehearsal came next. They ran through the entire show in about 20 minutes, and my "rehearsal" with Leo was about 30 seconds long before they moved on to the next thing. I felt a bit unprepared, but I wasn't nervous or anything. I saw Leo's blue cue card, so I knew what questions to expect.

The show went well, and it was a lot more improvised that I expected it to be. Very off the cuff and non-scripted and non-rehearsed. I was remarkably non-nervous as the show went on, despite all the teasers and promotions my little project got. Finally it was time to be on TV. During the commercial break, I ran over to help Yoshi wheel this cart around which had my NES PC on it. Leo walks up and starts making chit-chat with me during the break. "So, is this the Nintendo you had as a kid", "how much did you pay for it on eBay?" I answered all his questions just in time for the producer to give us the cue that we were on. Then, Leo proceeded to ask me the same exact questions in the same exact order as he had just done it. It was a little bizarre and caught me off guard, but what are ya gonna do? They told me not to look at the camera and not put my hands in my pockets. I'm a pretty tall guy, so leaning on that table wasn't an option at all. Then, as the interview was ending, I did the 1 thing I regret in my entire 3 day trip. I looked at the camera. Straight into it. I looked like a deer in headlights for the 2 seconds I stared into that black box. Then I broke away and hoped it didn't make it on TV. Part of it did, but it's not as bad as I remember it being while I was there.

So, it's finally over and I go and take my seat back in the audience. I had told Brice all day that I needed to ask Jessica for her autograph for 2 of my friends back home, but she always seemed busy or I was a wuss and never did it. As the show was ending, she was packing up and I knew I didn't have a choice but to ask her right then. I ran up and tried not to sound too desperate and pathetic as I asked her for the autographs. She was very nice and personalized them for my friends who don't deserve the treatment I give 'em. She's hotter in real life than on TV. Really.

After the show I got Kevin, Yoshi, Pat, and Leo to take pictures next to my creation. They were really nice and made a bit of small talk as I packed up my stuff and prepared to leave. Really nice guys. I can't say enough good things about anyone I met on the show.

I spent about half an hour after the show calling everyone who I knew watched it live to get compliments from them.

Brice and I braved rush hour traffic to go to The Cheesecake Factory. We had a couple beers and caught up with each other about everything. It was good to see the kid again, and good to see that he's actually doing something productive with that huge brain of his. I got really tired really quick after a few days of not sleeping much and a bit of alcohol in me. Brice took me to my hotel and I proceeded to pass out the fastest I've ever passed out. It was a weird hotel. Very weird.

The next morning I left bright and early for my flight at 8:50 AM. I got a cab who was quite possibly the coolest man ever. I get in, and immediately he tells me that he has to take a shit, so would I be nice enough to let him use the restroom? I said sure, and he pulled up on the sidewalk of a hotel and ran in. On his way out the door, he says to me "I'm going to leave the keys in the car. If a cop or metermaid comes, just pull around the block and come pick me up." Then he ran away. He told me later that he had eaten bad shrimp that morning. After telling him that eating any shrimp in the morning was a bad idea, he told me that you can't refuse what your mother makes you. It's rude.

The coolest conversation was later though.

"I have been in California for 6 years, and I have yet to find a wife."
"Well, you're in the right place. There's a lot of pretty girls here."
"Pretty, yes, but they are all STUPID! They want to be boss. But there is only 1 boss in my house, and it is me, myself, and I."
"That's 3 bosses, right?"
"No! Just the 1 boss! Just me!"
"Yeah, but you said me, myself, and I. That's 3."
"No! You don't understand! They are all just me. It is me."
"Oh. Okay."

I hate it when people don't get my jokes, but what are ya gonna do? Nothin', that's what. I got on my plane without getting any shit from airport security, and was on my way back to Chicago.

I met Sam and Vanja at the airport and we ate dinner at a crappy little bar with awesome food and caught on on each other's lives and careers. I feel bad for both of them, being so, so talented and not being able to find work in the industry. Vanja's artwork puts mine to shame. She's amazing. Sam's designs put mine to shame. Vanja works in a video production place, making less than I started with at Iona and doing work that's less applicable. Sam works in a coffee shop. Vanja just thanks God for her job, which makes me wonder why I quit Iona. Maybe that job was better than I thought it was. Probably not, but maybe I was lucky for getting it. Others
aren't having much luck lately.

Anyway, so that was my trip in a nutshell. If you're not lucky enough to get TechTV, you can watch my segment on their site. It's right here.

Friday night was

2003-06-15T17:00:00-07:00

Friday night was Kouri's night, as per usual, but the regular "group" of me and Polk keeps changing. My theory is that people want to hang out with a national celebrity like myself. This week, it was me, Polk, Dayv, Jenny, Alan, and Brandon. After Kouri's, we went out to a party in Princeville where everyone played video games. Me, Jenny, and Dayv just sat by ourselves and talked and wondered why we had driven all that way to not talk to anyone else.

Saturday was a small cook out here at my house. Nothing too eventful.

Yesterday was Father's Day. I went out to lunch with my family, including Jack, the cutest little nephew in all the world. Man, that kid is cute, cute, cute. He knows a couple of 2 word sentences now, and is getting really good at knowing who I am. When I walked in to the restaurant, he looked right at me, smiled, pointed, and yelled "Ti!". He's not so good at the "M" sound. I went out to my parents' house to help them a bit out there, then to my sister's new house to help a bit out there. I wasn't home for long when I got the call inviting me to Mr. Jim's birthday bash. We ate at Schooners, then dropped of Dayv. Jim, Polk and I headed down to Big Al's and enjoyed cheap $2.75 beer and loads of naked women. I hadn't been there in a long time. I didn't stay for too long because I thought Alan was going to wake me up when he got home from work this morning. Starting today, I'm back on the diet and exercise schedule after a few weeks off. Me and Alan are going hardcore, not letting ourselves eat out, making ourselves exercise, and only allowing beer once or twice a week. It'll be tough, but I'm sick of being pudgy. And my television debut didn't get me nearly enough women saying I was hot. Maybe next time.

It's been a

2003-06-17T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a busy few days, working, paying bills, and catching up on things that I've been slacking off with during my big TV adventure. That should be just about wrapped up now, thankfully, and it's back to a normal life.

Alan and I started our diets back up yesterday and kicked 'em into full gear. We jogged a few miles, then walked to the grocery store to pick up healthy food to eat for the next few days and weeks. My beer intake is limited to twice a week, as is my eating out intake. I've got about 15 more pounds to lose before I color this diet over.

Last night Alan and I stopped by Angie's place to pick up some stuff we'd left over there. She wasn't there, so we just turned around and left. Angie's landlord described me as "a skinny guy with a beard in a Jeep". It's really weird being referred to as skinny.

So last night

2003-06-18T17:00:00-07:00

So last night was Hoops night. I got to meet Alan's new crush, Jamie, who isn't attractive at all. She's a neck downer, sure, but man, her face is weird. And she's crazy annoying. Brynn, Mullens, Anna, Alan, and Jenny were all there too, watching this girl be crazy drunk and crazy annoying. She kept saying things about going home with Alan and wanting to "have fun", but not get in a relationship. It seemed like a sure thing that Alan was going to seal the deal.

Apparently, nothing happened. Maybe Alan saw the light and realized that this girl is nutty and not nearly attractive enough to justify dating her. Nuttiness needs to be balanced with hotness, otherwise it just doesn't work. Being weird in the face is okay, as long as you're not loony toons.

Anyway, enough of that. Hoops was fun, and I haven't seen Brynn for a good long time. She's a nice girl. I've been eating out and drinking out a bit too often lately, so I've made up my mind to stay in tonight and prepare for Friday at Kouri's. The tradition is back and better than ever. I look more forward to Fridays at Kouri's than Wednesdays at Hoops these days. You should be honored, Mister Polk and Mister Jim.

Remember how I

2003-06-19T17:00:00-07:00

Remember how I said I wasn't going to go out last night? Color me a liar. After watching a show revealing some magic secrets, I headed down to Crusen's to see Jenny, Dayv, Alan, and some girl named Cami, which I imagine was named after my car.

I wore my old gym shirt from high school, which turned out to be a really terrible idea. I ran into this kid who I knew from high school who I don't have fond memories of. I won't get into a big, long story about why, but I just don't like him. He knew Cami and was trying to mack on her and finally he saw my shirt. He pointed to it, and in a really drunk voice, yelled "dude, holy shit! Did you go there?!" I repliead "Yeah, I was in your class." "No shit? When did you graduate?" "Well, I was in your class. '98, just like you." "Oh, no shit?! What's your name?" At this point I pointed to my shirt where it clearly stated my name, first and last, and thought the conversation was over. He proceeded to walk over and make "small talk", which basically consisted of having the same conversation about my gym shirt, over and over and over again. A few people from Notre Dame saw the shirt and asked questions about it's origin. If nothing else, it got me some attention, but I think it'll be a while before I wear it out to a bar again.

Tonight is Kouri's night, minus Polk. Mister Jim and I are the only confirmed attendees, with a few possibles up in the air. After that, I have no idea what I plan on doing. Something good, though, that's for shizzo.

So Kouri's was

2003-06-20T17:00:00-07:00

So Kouri's was just me and Jim for quite a while, but then Jenny and Dayv and Randy and Bryan all showed up. They weren't there for long before we headed to Kelleher's to hang out with Polk and Polk's family. Much fun was had, and much Honey Weiss was consumed. It's odd that I hang out with Polk's family more than I hang out with my own.

We left for Sully's but stopped by UPN to park and pee. While wandering aimlessly around the station, Alan picked me up over his head and tossed me on the ground, right on my back. The carpet there is... well... basically nonexistant, and I'm pretty sure it didn't cushion my fall at all. Alan has sure been getting violent while drinking lately. Twice in a row he beat the living shit out of my shoulders and back for no good reason, and now he tosses me from 6 feet up onto a hard concrete floor. The bastard. I laid there for about 45 minutes, trying to heal and make sure my back wasn't broken. I'm not fully convinced that it wasn't. It hurts like a mother fucker today.

Then we headed to Sully's. I normally hate Sully's with a passion, but last night wasn't so bad. Cross Eyed Josh, Dub, Forrest, and a few others who I'm forgetting were there. We also ran into Alan's crush Jamie, a girl from high school, Erin Sullivan, and the weirdest encounter of the night, Rachel Bradford. Now, Rachel is a pretty girl and a few years younger than me. She seems like the type who gets hit on a lot, so I'm sure she was a bit surprised when I came up to her, tapped her on the shoulder, and opened the conversation with "You're Rachel Bradford, right? Can I have your mom's phone number?" Rachel's mom was my high school art teacher and the person who encouraged me to go to art school and pursue a career as an artist. She got me meetings with various higher-ups at various art schools, and even got me back to Notre Dame a couple times to help out at her art classes during breaks from college. She doesn't work at Notre Dame anymore and has remarried, leaving me no way to contact her again. Rachel wouldn't give me her number, but she took mine and promised to give it to her mom. I hope she actually does, and doesn't just consider our conversation a thinly veiled attempt at hitting on her.

So that was my night. And today, in about 10 minutes, I'm leaving to see Pearl Jam at Alpine Valley for a 3rd time. I'm a big fan of Pearl Jam.

So Fabish Amy

2003-06-21T17:00:00-07:00

So, Fabish, Amy, Irby and myself drove up to Wisconsin yesterday to see Pearl Jam play. It was good times. Fabish, Irby and I all have very similar senses of humor and keep trying to out do each other, so when we get together it's sort of like a sarcasmfest. Amy seemed a tad annoyed, but she was dealin' with it.

So, Pearl Jam was awesome, as per usual. A few highlights... "Better Man", which was sung almost completely by the audience while Eddie just stood there listening. Eddie announcing "Jeremy" as "one of their new songs". Eddie's speech about reality television ("You've got American Idol and American Juniors and American.... Blow job butt fuck or what the fuck ever.") One of the strangest things was right when Pearl Jam took the stage, everyone in the whole place stood up and walked as close to the stage as possible. It's an outdoor venue with no "real" seating, just on a hill. So, we're all walking up to get closer and we notice a couple who stays seated. It just so happens that we ended up standing right next to said couple. After a while, they laid down and, as close as we can figure it, pleasured each other manually. A few minutes later they were laying on top of each other, grinding, and a few minutes later, the guy was getting BJ at a PJ show. It was simply fascinating. Everyone was standing around, watching, making comments and giving the guy high fives. Weird.

During "Crazy Mary" in one of the encores, this huge fat bald man ran up to Eddie and looked like he was going to pound the shit out of him. They had about a 3 second conversation before security ran up and tried to drag the guy away. Eddie stopped them and handed the fat man the mic, at which point he sang a few lines of "Crazy Mary", then started yelling something about loving his wife. Eddie gave him a huge hug and did some weird dance with him around the stage, then pushed him to the side of the stage where more fans were standing. At the end of the song, Eddie introduced the guy as "some fucking idiot".

It was my duty to drive us home, even though I wasn't really in any condition to drive. I haven't had a full night's sleep for many moons, and it was 12:30 before we even got out of the parking lot. Everyone else was asleep and I had to keep reminding myself to keep my eyes open. It was pretty bad. We got back to P-town in record time, which was just before 4 AM. I almost hit 2 deer on the way home, too. That was fun.

Last night Jenny

2003-06-22T17:00:00-07:00

Last night Jenny came over to watch Sorority House Massacre with me and Alan. It has also come to my attention that tim@timwasson.com, my oh-so-popular email address, isn't working and hasn't been working for about 3 days. I wondered why I went from 80 or 90 emails per day to 0.

At the Pearl

2003-06-23T17:00:00-07:00

At the Pearl Jam concert, Fabish and Amy mentioned that they've been married almost 3 months now. I realized that the wedding was the last time I was clean shaven, and I've had this beard for 3 months now. I like to shake things up with my appearance, so yesterday I shaved the beard. It's a weird feeling being bald in the face. Everything feels weird now. Washing my face, talking, eating, drinking. All different. And maybe not good. The good part is that having a bald face makes my hair look long and huge. It's getting a bit out of control, and it's totally cool. Soon, I'll be too old to look like an asshole all the time, so I have to take advantage of it now.

So Mullens decided

2003-06-25T17:00:00-07:00

So, Mullens decided it's his duty to kick my ass back into shape. I assumed (wrongly, as it turns out) that I could keep up with him during any kind of running or cardio stuff. After all, he's a fatty fat fatty, and I've been doing this for more than a year.

So, we went running. Mullens estimates that he ran about a 6.5 minute mile, and if I would have completed the whole thing, I would have run it in just over 7. It's a pretty decent time, but I felt like I was going to die. I have asthma which doesn't really bother me, unless I'm exercising or on really cold or really humid days. Well, yesterday was really humid. I kept up for almost the first half, but had to stop and catch my breath for a few seconds in the middle of the run. My legs are never what makes me stop. It's these cursed lungs.

Anyway, the ultra fast and ultra sweaty mile run made it easier to justify eating 4 slices of pizza and drinking 3 beers last night at Hoops with Alan, Mullens, Anna, Dayv, and a few others who were there in spirit.

I get home

2003-06-26T17:00:00-07:00

I get home from work last night and Alan and I install a new 220 volt plug in the basement for my dryer. After that, we picked up sticks and garbage that the storm had blown into the yard. Then we mowed and weedwacked, and then we went to the grocery store to pick up food for our barbeque. About halfway through the mowing, I realized that Alan is my new boyfriend. Or at least that's what the neighbors must assume.

The cook out was me, Alan, Mullens, Brynn, and Carissa. They went to Crusens, I didn't. I had to be up at 7 this morning. I was supposed to be at my parents' house at 8, but I'm not gonna make it.

Been having fun

2003-06-27T17:00:00-07:00

Been having fun lately, but spending too much cash. Last night we actually went to a new bar called Centerfield 9. Then we went to Sully's. Then we went to Richard's. Tonight Mullens is having a part-tay at Anna's. It was supposed to be a pool party, but it looks like the weather had other plans. Maybe there will be women wandering around in bikinis anyway. I'm praying that's the case.

Up early? No.

2003-06-28T17:00:00-07:00

Up early? No. Up really fucking late. I've wanted to go to sleep for... oh, about the past 11 hours or so. Damn being the designated driver. Damn it all to hell.

Okay so yesterday.

2003-06-28T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so yesterday. I woke up piss ass tired after about 4 hours of drunken sleep to go to work all freaking day. I was concentrating really hard on keeping my eyes open all day long while doing basically nothing all day at work. It sucked. I get off at 4 and go home for a few brief hours of sitting and not doing much. Then it was off to Mullens' party.

Everyone was completely and totally trashed when I got there. Crazy, insane drunk out of their minds. I figure that they'll need a ride downtown, so continuing the tradition of not letting drunk people drive, I don't drink much and prepare to take everyone down town.

Around 11, "everyone" turned out to be just me and Mullens heading down to Jimmy's to meet a whole slew of people, including Alan, Jenny, Dana, Thuy (which is only a guess at the spelling), Brynn, and some crazy drunk girl named Nicole. It was decided pretty early on that Jenny and I were the drivers because everyone else was already at least a little drunk.

After Jimmy's, it was time for Sully's. Now, I fucking hate Sully's on the weekends. I hate the music, I hate the people, I hate the crowds, I hate the prices. I just kind of stood out of the way and talked to Jenny, who was also bitter at the fact that we were at Sully's and bitter about the fact that we weren't drinking. I was okay about not drinking, since I figured 1 beer would pass me out with the whole tired thing and all. Sully's was good, though, because I ran into Aneesha Bajaj, who is one of many girls I had a crush on in high school. I knew her through Jill Zarr, who died in a car accident my 1st year in college. Since then, I've run into her a couple times and exchanged emails, but I hadn't talked to her in years. It was good to see her again. I also saw Amber, who I only vaguely remembered from the same group. I always seem to run into everyone I know at Sully's.

The rest of the group wanted to go to the Underground. I've never been there, but I'm sure I would hate it. From outside I could hear the thumpy techno shit and I was sick of yelling to talk to my friends. The $5 cover was enough for Mullens to stomp off in a drunken rage, and Jenny and I chased after him. We made plans to meet at Sullivan's at 4, so we just went early to actually talk and not yell.

Mullens stumbled around Sullivan's like a crazy drunk ass and I talked to a bunch of people I knew from grade school. Josh Barnewolt, Aaron Davis, Dave Sutton, and a few others. We also ran into Katie's bachelorette party there, who consisted of a ton of other people from grade school. Kelly Heinz, Mandy Carroll, and a few others I can't remember at the moment. My favorite was running into Jenny Edwards right as she was leaving. She was saying good bye to our entire table, and I said "bye, Jenny Edwards", and she glanced at me for half a second, gave me a weird half smile, and looked away. "Uh... Jenny Edwards?" She looked back for other second, but seemed like she was staring right through me, like I had just interrupted her entire life to say her name twice. She also seemed completely confused that I knew her name and she hadn't the foggiest idea who I was. I sat there making an expression which seemed to say "uh... why don't you remember my name?" and a few seconds later I was vindicated. "Holy shit! Tim Wasson!" Finally. I love seeing people and seeing absolutely no recognition in their eyes. It makes me feel all warm inside.

Anyway, everyone left before 4, leaving me and Jenny sitting in a booth by ourselves, Mullens stumbling around the bar, and everyone else still at the Underground.

4 came and went, so we decided to walk back to the Underground to meet the rest of the people. While standing out front, Jenny called a couple of the cell phones we knew were inside. While she was talking, a couple guys came up to us and started asking us for our phones to make a phone call. He looked directly at me and asked for Jenny's phone, which I thought was weird. I answered the only way I knew how, which was "uh... I don't know...", ya know, since it wasn't my phone and all. The guy threw a hissy fit and called me a bastard for not helping a guy who only needed a phone call. I could only say "uh, dude, it's not my phone to give. What do you want me to say?" They walked away, which was good.

Anyway, so they come out finally and suggest Steak 'n Shake. I didn't want to go. But I was the god damn driver, so we all went. Me, Alan, Brynn, Jenny, Nicole, Dana, Mullens, and Thuy. We got there at about 4:30 and stayed until the sun came out. We drove everyone back to my place where Mullens and Dana slept on my couches. But I wasn't done yet. I had to drive Jenny and Thuy back to their car, which was still at Jimmy's, because they had been driving Alan's car all around. I got home at about 6:30 and got a solid 5 hours of sleep before deciding not to sleep the day away.

So that was my big adventure yesterday. I hope you've enjoyed it.

I want to

2003-06-29T17:00:00-07:00

I want to eat at a Chinese buffet right now. Alan is asleep. Everyone else I know is missing in action. All I want is some General Tso's and maybe some Peanut Butter Chicken. And those red things on the wooden sticks, whatever they're called.

So after our

2003-06-30T17:00:00-07:00

So, after our big Saturday night adventure, Mullens was absolutely humiliated. He did stuff that was embarassing, sure, but I think he took it a bit too hard. He's now made the promise to never drink again, and normally I wouldn't believe him, but he said it with such conviction that I'm tempted to think it's true. Weird.

Last night, Mullens, Angie, Andy, some girl named Ann and I went bowling. I bowled terribly. Then we watched Old School. I drank some diet Dr. Pepper and discussed my weight loss with Andy, who seemed at least sort of impressed.

I'm tired today, but I just got back from eating at a Chinese Buffet with Mister Jim and Mister Polk and Mister Brandon. I should be back at the gallery, but I don't want to be. The gallery can suck my nuts off. Today I'm finishing up this CD-ROM for my dad, finally, and taking care of a few other small business-related tasks. Tonight may be a cookout. Maybe.

I didn't want

2003-07-03T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't want to go out tonight, but a bunch of other people did. With it being July 4th and all, I knew there would be a lot of cops out, so I decided to be the designated dumbass once again. I'm such a good friend. I hung out with a bunch of drunk people at Old Chicago all night, then drove them to SOPs. There was another sober girl there, leaving me the perfect chance to get the fuck home and to bed. I'm still up waiting for Alan to tell me I can definitely not worry about driving them home, at which point I will fall asleep faster than I ever thought possible. Otherwise, I have to sit awake until 4 AM then pick them up. I think the weather and my decision to not turn on my AC is making me tired all the time.

Last night marked

2003-07-05T17:00:00-07:00

Last night marked the 3rd time in a row I played designated driver to a group of drunk asses. It was this kid's 21st birthday, PK, who I don't really know, but Alan and Jenny did. So we took him out to get shit faced drunk, which turned out to be a not-so hot idea.

We started as a big group at Jimmy's, a slightly smaller one at Kelleher's, smaller still at Roxy's, and very small by the end of the night. At around 3, PK was stumbling into Big Al's with me right behind him. He mentioned vomitting, so I quickly turned him around and took him to the alley close by to take care of the whole puking thing where it would be less embarassing. And it was disgusting.

By the time we got to Richard's, he was pissed off at the world and making everyone else pissed off, too. As the sober guy in the bunch, it was sort of my responsibility to keep my eye on him and make sure he didn't do anything too retarded. I didn't do a very good job. He started yelling about wanting to go home and he stormed off, in the completely wrong direction.

Anyway, long story short, he somehow got away and, we think, walked home. If he didn't walk home, then he completely disappeared. And we all vowed to never drink with this guy again. I wasn't a fan of him. Not at all.

But overall, this driver thing is A-OK with me. I get to save some dough and still go out, and I remember everything and in the right order. Who needs drunkeness?

So my big

2003-07-07T17:00:00-07:00

So, my big story of the day. I'm at work and me and Brandon decide to go to lunch. It's bright and sunny outside and I volunteer to take my car since the top was down and it was so nice. Brandon refused, since my lack of CD player or any kind of music really bothers him a lot. No, I still haven't replaced the CD player from when it was stolen. Anyway, we get in his car and we're off.

No more than 20 minutes later, on our way back from picking up the food, it starts absolutely pouring down sheets of rain. It was a terrible storm. I was hoping someone from the gallery would see the rain coming and put the top on my Jeep for me, but alas, they did not. I had to drive the thing home to get the windows, since I don't keep the new windows in the Jeep itself anymore.

So, that, ya know, sucked a lot. My ass got soaking wet along with the entire inside of my Jeep. And my basement is flooding again, right after it stopped smelling like mold from the last time it flooded. Fun stuff.

So I'm in

2003-07-08T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm in good 'ole St. Louis as a boring ass car show right now, and I will be until Friday. And it sucks. And it's boring. Did I mention that it sucks and that it's boring? Because it sucks. And it's boring.

I'm selling those CDs I've been working on with my dad for forever now, and they're selling at a less than stellar rate. So far, 10 down, and 40 to go until we reach our goal. Will we reach it? No.

Anyhoo, I'm bored and this place sucks my ass off. I can't wait to be home.

I sure am

2003-07-09T17:00:00-07:00

I sure am bored. I sure do hate car shows. I sure do wish I was home. I sure am in St. Louis until tomorrow. That sure does suck.

So the car

2003-07-13T17:00:00-07:00

So, the car show was really lame. I sold a lot of CDs, which made it at least bareable, and I have some money to throw around for the next month or so. But, hopefully I won't need it as much as I have been needing it, because more and more jobs are just falling into my lap. And this week I'm going to really hit the streets and whore myself out as a painter to get more work.

I'll need the extra work because I've been informed that my services at the gallery are no longer needed. With Brandon out of school and working full time, my jobs have mostly been doing gallery pieces and artwork. Since the artwork stuff is considered freelance anyway, there's really no reason to have my regular hourly job anymore. It kind of sucks, since I did like the job and the people and the flexibility with my schedule, but now I have more time to devote to my "real" job, which is the self employed thing. This week is my last week.

Not much else happening. My car shines like glass after spending a few hours washing and waxing yesterday. It's been a long time since my car has been clean.

Look at me being famous

2003-07-14T17:00:00-07:00

I'm in The Journal Star today, under the Science and Technology section. A 2 page article and 3, count 'em, 3 pictures. Be impressed!

So Alan got

2003-07-15T17:00:00-07:00

So, Alan got a bulldog yesterday. I don't want the dog in my house. And the dog is making Winnie bad. And they play too much and annoy me. And bulldogs are so fucking loud and never stop panting. And it's hideous. I want it to go away.

I can't walk anywhere in my house. I always have 2 dogs tripping me and getting in my way whenever I try to do anything. Winnie was getting to the point where she wouldn't have to follow me around anytime I went somewhere, but that time is over now. 2 dogs is too many dogs.

First things first...

2003-07-16T17:00:00-07:00

First things first... here's me being famous.

Second things second, an accouncement which will shock and surprise some of my old friends who have known me a long time. I've decided to take steps to make myself less sarcastic and cynical. My sarcasm has landed me in some mild trouble once or twice, like fights that I've barely avoided and people angry at me because they can't tell if I'm joking or not. I've never let those things bother me before and moved on with my sarcastic ways without a second thought.

But lately I've felt completely dead inside, and I think the cynical side of me is to blame. Sure, it's hard to hurt my feelings and make me cry (real, real fucking hard), but at the same time, it's real hard to feel any of the good things, too. I was discussing this problem with my partner in crime, Fabish, who helped me reach the horrible levels of sarcasm that I've reached. To quote him, "yeah, it would be really great if I could get excited about something again. Or even upset." For the past 15 years or so, I've been talking to people, but thinking of my reply instead of actually listening to what they're saying. Then I act all condescending like what they said didn't matter. Not to be a jerk, but because sometimes it's funny. Like "Hey Tim, I just won an Oscar!", and I'd reply "Sweet. I went grocery shopping. So what?"

Anyway, I'm closing in on the time in my life that I should stop being an asshole all the time. Sarcasm used to be a good friend, but I have enough good friends these days that I don't need it anymore. I'm not ever defending myself against anyone or anything like that. And I'm crazy funny, so I know I don't need the sarcasm for my sense of humor. Right? Right.

My next vice to conquer: Procrastination. Then: Beer. But the beer one is a long ways off.

I think the

2003-07-17T17:00:00-07:00

I think the whole "going out" thing was too much, too soon. Or maybe I'm just too old. I'm all burned out on it already and just want to watch movies and eat popcorn again. I've had enough beer for a while. Until Kouri's, I mean. Then after that, I'll have had enough beer until the next week at Kouri's.

Last night I met Alan, Jenny, Thuy, and Cami at Old Chicago, stayed for a drink, then went to Jimmy's to see Phillips, since he just got back from Iraq and this was his welcome home party. I stayed for longer than I wanted, but had a good time. I was still in bed by 11.

I also kicked my own ass something fierce yesterday. Alan and I finished putting together my sister's old gym junk, and I worked out hardcore for like 25 minutes, followed by a 25 minute jog in 300 degree weather. Today, everything hurts. It's been a while since I've jogged every day, and I've never really worked out with weights. My boobs hurt. My arms and back hurt too, but mostly it's my boobs.

My sister is taking me out for Chinese today.

So as it

2003-07-17T17:00:00-07:00

So, as it turns out, lunch with my sister wasn't a purely social event. It was to annouce several important family things to me. So, over my sesame chicken, Sarah and Robert told me that their second child is due in February. Jack will be just over 2 years old, and I'll be an uncle for the 2nd time. This time around, they'll probably find out the sex of the baby before they have it, and hopefully they'll tell us the name before hand as well.

The second big announcement: My cousin Valerie got divorced a few months back. Details as to why are sketchy, but basically she said it was because they stopped loving each other. The reason for the lack of love... Val is totally gay. Apparently she told my sister and gave her the task of telling the rest of the family. My dad took it about like I suspected he would take it (his reaction: "Yeah, that explains SO MUCH."), but I guess my mom's reaction was a bit less desirable ("Can't she go to a psychiatrist or something? What's wrong with her? Is it because her mom didn't help raise her?"). But, she's happy, she's got a girlfriend, and she feels better with it off her chest. So that's good. I'm happy for her, but I'm not nearly as conservative as a lot of the people in my family.

Today I went

2003-07-19T17:00:00-07:00

Today I went out to Mullens' house to play on his motorcycle. I tried driving it one other time in high school, but I sucked at it. This time I rocked it out hardcore and convinced myself that I absolutely need one. Motorcycles are totally sweet.

In other news, I fucking hate Alan's retarded dog. And I hate that I have to take care of it while Alan boozes.

Wow. I just

2003-07-20T17:00:00-07:00

Wow. I just looked at all 3 of my LJ pictures at the same time, right here, and man, it's weird. In 2, I look pretty much identical except for a hat. And in the 3rd, I look like a crap bucket. A crappy beard, a crappy Goodwill shirt, stupid emo glasses. I thought as you get older, you're supposed to get more conservative and clean shaven. Is this a quarter life crisis that makes me think it's okay to wear wrinkled crap shirts everywhere when in high school I wouldn't have left my house without a pretty sweater or freshly ironed button up shirt? And, more importantly, which is the "real" me, and is the "real" me really effected either way by what I choose to cover my beer gut with?

I think I can trace the decline back to when I left Iona. That's when it started. I didn't have to get dressed up for work anymore, and it's been a steady decline since. And that leads me to believe that the Tim who stands before you is more "real" than the other ones. I never really do anything for image or to impress anyone anymore. I just sort of am, take it or leave it. I've been lucky in my life that most of the people who I want to "take it" actually do, and the ones I want to "leave it" also do that eventually.

Most people say the same thing about me, which I think is exactly, 100% true. I can be abrasive and rude, but underneath it, I'm a really nice guy with only the best intentions, willing to do anything for friends. I couldn't have said it better myself. But what I need to do is get people to leave out the "abrasive and rude" comment before the amazing compliment.

It's been a weird couple of weeks in which I've had to do a lot of self reflection and other annoying things that make my brain hurt. A lot of decisions just waiting to be made, a lot of discussions just waiting to be had. I hate drama, I hate having things left unsaid, I hate anyone thinking I'm the bad guy, I hate not knowing where I stand with anyone, and most of all, I hate Alan's shitfuck dog.

After a long

2003-07-21T17:00:00-07:00

After a long ass bike ride with Angie, I had a meeting to go to last night in Dunlap to discuss a few murals for this rich lady. It seems promising, because, in addition to the 2 huge ones she wants done next week (that will pay my bills for at least a few weeks), she kept throwing out ideas for other rooms and other murals. And she seems like one of those rich people types who is doing it to impress other rich people types, which could mean that my business card gets passed around I can keep eating for a while. Which is good.

After that, I did nothing, and it was great. I don't sleep well in this heat, so I get really tired when I stop moving and tend to pass out on the couch while watching TV... something I've never done, but I know I'm genetically predisposed to it since my parents do it constantly.

Today I redo an old family tree and do my laundry.

I think the

2003-07-21T17:00:00-07:00

I think the 20 minutes I spent riding Mullens' motorcycle has had a terrible effect on me. I keep finding myself looking at tradinpost.com and ebaymotors.com at old motorcycles, wondering if I can afford one as early as next summer, and trying to justify buying one in the winter when I know they'll be cheaper. I wonder how one goes about getting a motorcycle license...

So I'm working

2003-07-24T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm working on building this chair for chair-ity, and in the process nearly drilled my finger off. It hurts like a mother fucker, even now, a solid 18 hours after the accident. It's all bloody and gross, and if it didn't hurt so much, it would be totally cool to have a bloody stump instead of a thumb.

I quoted this lady $120 to redo her family tree for her. I thought I was going to make a killing on the project, but now, 3 days later and no finished product to show for it, I see I got totally screwed. The lady has absolutely no concept of how a family tree operates so I have to disect her entire family history into something that is both accurate and looks okay. It's a pain in my ass. I can't even keep all my cousins straight, much less this lunatic's entire family. I hate family trees. Never again.

So on Friday

2003-07-26T17:00:00-07:00

So on Friday, Polk, Jim, Schwa and I went to Koui's and had our weekly beer/greasy food fest. After Jim left, his girlfriend came over and talked to us. Apparently she's my neighbor. Who knew? She's our favorite waitress because she always gives us the higgity hook up on the beer prices.

After that, I went to Jimmy's and tried to spend as little as possible. I did a pretty good job of it, too. On Saturday I spent my last $4 on dinner from Taco Bell, so I was forced to take a night off to watch movies. Around 10, I get 2 phone calls in a row. 1 from Jenny and Thuy, saying they'd buy me a drink if I met them at Jimmy's. While putting my shoes on for that event, Fabish called and asked if I wanted to come watch a movie and drink beers. So, I stayed at Jimmy's for exactly 1 beer, then headed to Fabish's to watch Kentucky Fried Movie, which wasn't nearly as funny as I remember it being when I watched it in high school. Lots of nudity though, which is always good.

So... I was

2003-07-27T17:00:00-07:00

So... I was laid off from the Gallery, but not really too worried about it since the freelancing jobs were comin' and comin' without me doing much to get 'em. But, I haven't really done any kind of murals in the past week and funds are low. After my house payment, I've got exactly $16 in my checking account and bills to pay, and well.. that sucks. Bibo's money would be real nice right about now. I was getting frustrated and planned on spending tomorrow looking for more work, but then 2 little miracles happened.

Funny prizes Dave called me. For those of you who haven't been reading my journal forever or keeping up, funny prizes Dave is a millionaire in Florida who paid me a lot of money to do awesome work. For a while, he was sending me $2000/month to do whatever he asked me to do within 24 hours. Those were good times. He was hit hard with the economy crashing, and he got cancer, and hasn't given me much work. He said his business is booming again and needs my help, which is freaking awesome as all get out.
The single biggest freelancing job I've done was a CD-ROM for nearly $5K for the LA County School District. They came back to me a few weeks ago for revisions and actually approved the quote I gave them, so I have more work to keep me occupied for a bit.

Ignoring the fact that the mural leads I've gotten have lead... uh... nowhere, things seem to be looking up, if just a bit. Time will tell. I've been broke as a joke for 2 years now and just really want a steady paycheck and money to throw around again.

Sweet. I just

2003-07-27T17:00:00-07:00

Sweet. I just realized I share a birthday with Steve Stifler. That means that between Gwen Stefani, Neve, and Steve, I have the sweetest birthday ever.

I'm getting really

2003-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

I'm getting really bored with watching MTV and sitting around the house. Won't someone entertain me with something that is free? Anyone? Free entertainment? Anyone? I'd settle for anything just to get me outta dis hizouse.

So I went

2003-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

So I went and had another meeting with the crazy ass old lady today. As I was buzzing her apartment, she walked in the front door. This is our conversation:

her: "You're early."
me: "Well, I'm actually like 10 minutes late."
her: "Did you already buzz the apartment?"
me: "I tried to, yeah."
her: "Did anyone answer?"
me: "Uh... no. Is there someone there?"
her: (looking at me like that was the most retarded question ever) "No. I live alone."

Oh my God. Why did she even ask if someone answered if she knew no one was there? What the fuck? It wasn't a good way to start the meeting, and the meeting didn't end well either. I really don't like her.

Something about paying

2003-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

Something about paying all my bills makes me feel so happy and warm on the inside. Ah....

Me and Fabish

2003-07-31T17:00:00-07:00

Me and Fabish ate at Dynasty Buffet yesterday. God, I love that place.

A few days ago I applied for a job at Dynamic Graphics. I hear lots of horrible things about the place, but on the other hand, I need money. With Alan moving out soon, there's pretty much no way for me to be able to afford a house all by my lonesome without borrowing ridiculous amounts of money from my dad. So, I'm kickin' it up a notch in the career search.

Truth be told, trying not to be cocky or anything, I'm way overqualified for the position I applied for. But, I've also done some research into the place, and I know I'd advance quickly and get paid a lot within a relatively short time frame. I dropped off my resume a couple days ago and followed up with a phone call just a few minutes ago. They've stopped collected resumes, and mine was one of the ones forwarded to the hiring manager. It was encouraging that I only needed to say "Hi, I'm Tim Wasson..." before she knew exactly who I was and what I was calling about. She must have looked the the resume a little closer than some people's.

So, I've been instructed to call back next Friday and see about an interview. My impression was that all the applicants forwarded to the hiring manager would be interviewed, but I don't know. I kind of get the same feeling about this job as I did when I applied for Iona... I know I'm exactly what they're looking for, and I know if I get an interview I'll get the job. I'm not so sure I want to go back to a full time, 9-5 job... in fact, I'm sure I DON'T want to, but 2 years as a freelancer and still strugglin' means maybe I'm not right for a freelancing career. I've found it to be increasingly difficult to get out there and look for jobs, send out demo reels, make cold calls, etc. So, my career plans have been altered.

Get a well paying job that continues to put food on the table and pay my mortgage (that sounds weird).
Spend my free time trying my damndest to set up some sort of business (don't know what yet, though) that I love to do.
Hopefully, let my business blossom into something that can put food on the table and pay my mortgage.

Basically, it's exactly what my dad did. It took him 7 or 8 years to get enough business and enough notice to actually live off what he makes in his side business. Unfortunately, he's also really close to retirement and doesn't want to blow his retirement money. I figure I'm 23, and in 8 years I'll be 31. Hopefully I'll have the balls to up and quit again, but hopefully this time I'll have a business that is already doing well for me instead of just jumping in head first without the slightest idea on how to succeed. I don't know. We'll see. And if I hate Dynamic Graphics as much as I think I possibly will, then I can keep looking for more multimedia jobs, put my degree to work for me, and just look at the bright side of the situation: I'm not a broke ass, I have health insurance, and I can afford a sweet ass motorcycle.

Anyway, all that is a moot point because I haven't been interviewed, don't have an interview set up, and may not get the job at all. And yes, I'm already putting my eggs in 1 basket and thinking about what I'll do with the extra money, what debts to pay off first, and how great it'll be to be debt-free and have extra money, as well as health insurance and other good good goodies. So there's an update on my career. I hope you've enjoyed it.

Last night I went out for a drink with Dayv and Jenny, and was later joined by Mr. Bryan J. Polk hisself. And I see him again tonight. That's twice in a week, which has to be some sort of record.

Apparently the episode

2003-08-01T17:00:00-07:00

Apparently the episode of TSS I was on is being re-run today. Those of you who missed it before have another shot here.

Finally!

2003-08-01T17:00:00-07:00

From one of my admirers who saw me on a rerun.

Tim,

You looked HOTTTTTT on Screen Savers today......mmmmm

~*~*~ Lynn ~*~*~

Awesome.

Last night was a good 'ole time. I had my mind set on spending $10, but didn't exactly get that accomplished. Kouri's was good as good can be, as per usual. Afterwards, we went to Gorman's for a drink, then to Martini's for a drink, then to Richards to sober up a bit. After leaving Kouri's I spent all of about $8, which isn't too shabby if you ask me.

Tonight, I do nothing. Alan is getting home from his trip and wants to throw himself a welcome home party. I'm not into that whole thing. Well, maybe a party, as long as I don't have to spend any cash.

So yesterday I

2003-08-05T17:00:00-07:00

So yesterday I made the trek to Naperville to see Jaimee for the first time in 6 months. I was a bit worried things would be awkward or, at the very least, different. But they weren't. They were as good as ever. We watched some TV, saw a movie, and played in a park, just like old times.

Today I'm crazy tired and will spend the remainder of the day working on my chair-ity chair. Exciting times, or something.

Exciting news on

2003-08-06T17:00:00-07:00

Exciting news on the job hunt. Sort of. I still have no interviews set up or anything, but I just called Dynamic Graphics back as I was instructed to do. I talked to Lisa, the hiring manager, who had absolutely no idea who I was, which was discouraging after the last lady knew my name after mentioning it in passing. So Lisa told me that she'd looked at all the resumes and hadn't called anyone back for an interview because they were all unqualified. She didn't even remember my name, so she couldn't tell me exactly what I had done wrong or why I was unqualified. I pushed the issue a bit, and she finally admitted that there was a small stack of resumes she hadn't looked at yet. She looked through them and found mine while I was talking to her, and everything she asked I had a response for. It was a good introductory phone call, and I was proud of myself for being a bit more forceful than I usually am. Normally I would have just accepted the fact that I was unqualified and hung up, but I'm so certain I'm actually OVERqualified that I was a bit insulted.

Anyway, she said for me to call back in the early part of next week. She didn't promise an interview, but I'm still closer than I was before. So that's good.

And more jobs keep popping up in the classifieds which are actually really suited to me. It's weird to see multiple listings which would use my degree and my training after a long period of only McDonald's and nursing entries. One of the openings for an Illustrator is at a company who employs a former salesman for Iona. Normally this would work in my favor, but said salesman was the one involved the conspiracy when I "got someone fired" from Iona. So that may not work in my benefit afterall.

And finally, Dana saw an opening at Cat for a job which I'm totally qualified for. The pay is a bit less than I was making at Iona, but the oppurtunity for advancement at Cat is huge. While I'm not a big fan of "working for the man", I'm a big fan of paying my bills on time and getting out of credit card debt. Plus if I get a referral and a chance to submit my resume before the job is even posted in public, I may get the job without a fight or any competitors.

So that's my big stories on the employment front.

Signs review, Part II

2003-08-06T17:00:00-07:00

So, I just got done watching Signs for the second time, and let me just say that the 2nd time around changed every opinion I had about this movie. This is one of the best movies ever made. Oh, wait, no, it still sucked, and sucked even more hard than the 1st time around. I hate you, M. Night Shamalongadingdong.

Yesterday I went

2003-08-07T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday I went out to my parents' house to see Jack and my sister. Jack is the cutest little thing in the world. I brought Winnie, as per usual, and she was walking around begging my mom and dad for food. I said "Winnie, no begging!", at which point Jack started running around the house yelling "No begging! No begging! No begging!". When my sister asked him who I was, he replied "Bill!" and started giggling. I guess that's his idea of a joke. I didn't think it was funny. Anyway, that is one cute kid, right there.

Today is going to be spent cleaning, preparing for Jaimee's first visit to my new house with me living in it. I hate cleaning.

A quick bit

2003-08-08T17:00:00-07:00

A quick bit of Kouri's math for those interested:

Bill, $57 + Tip, $7. = $64 total.

Tim, $X + Jenny, $1 + Schwa, $7 + Brandon, $6 + Polk and Sarah: $15 = $29.

$64 - $29 = $35.

Which means, of course, that the broke ass paid for every pitcher. That's the only way the math makes sense. I really need to get a damn job so I don't feel terrible for doing shit like this.

In my eagerness

2003-08-10T17:00:00-07:00

In my eagerness to brag about my potential future employment, I forgot to recap the weekend.

Friday I went to Kouri's, as per usual, and spent too much money. Afterwards I met Jamie Wahl at Jukebox where I was let in for free because I used to work with the door man at Kinko's. It was a good show, but I prefer shows where they humiliate audience members.

Saturday I got a wedding/job interview hair cut where the lady made fun of me for not cutting my hair for 4 months. I told her my last hair cut was when I shaved it, and she looked shocked and horrified. She went through 3 pairs of scissors and 2 trimmers before the cut was over. Then it was on to Jaysa's wedding reception, where I realized I probably drink too much. 4 Captain and Cokes and 3 beers later, I was still feeling incredibly sober. Damn alcoholism, always ruining my good times. A lot of people told me I looked like a different person because I've lost 200 pounds. I love it when people mention my weight loss. It's awesome.

I slept with Jaimee, Gina, and Jen where we made fun of each other's feet and told poo stories (my favorite kind of stories). We all ate at Panera Bread, then Jaimee and I went back to P-town. We ate at Steak 'n Shake and watched a movie and fell asleep really early. She left early this morning, leaving us not a lot of time for a proper goodbye.

Anyway, that was my weekend. Goals this week: Finish my fish, clean my office, and get a god damn job.

Yay for job

2003-08-10T17:00:00-07:00

Yay for job interviews! I was just getting ready to call Pudik Graphics about the resume I submitted for the illustrator position when they called me asking, no, BEGGING for an interview! So, August 21st at 10:00 AM I have my interview. It was kind of discouraging because she had to schedule me in, and made sure to mention that there's 3 days of interviews. That means a lot of competition.

Anyway, I guess I don't have a whole lot to say about Pudik or the job position, other than it's good cash. Plus I get to say I work at a place called "Poo Dick". I realize it's pronounced "Pew Dick", but that's not as fun.

Dynamic Graphics is

2003-08-12T17:00:00-07:00

Dynamic Graphics is making it really, really fucking hard to get an interview. I called yesterday so she could set up an interview after looking over my incredibly awesome web site, at which point she requested that I send her samples of sites I've worked on. I told her that, because of some documents I signed before leaving Iona, I was unable to show her any of the sites that I did while working there. That was no excuse to her. So I sent her a small list of a few that I've done as freelance jobs and what I did on those sites. Tomorrow I'll call and bug her again.

I guess it's encouraging. I mean, they didn't just blow me off and tell me to go away. Plus, this process may weed out any competitors I may have. We'll just have to see if this whole experience will work in my favor or not. It's the waiting that sucks, though. My interview at Pudik is a week from tomorrow, and I'd feel great about it if there weren't so many unemployed people out there right now. I really need one of these jobs to work out.

So we went

2003-08-12T17:00:00-07:00

So we went and saw American Wedding yesterday. Angie, Alan, and Carissa and I all went with the intention of bowling, but it was league night, so we couldn't get in. We wandered over to the theaters, where all of us said we wanted to see American Wedding, so plans were changed. With over an hour to kill before the movie started, we wasted time by grabbing a drink at Friendly Valley, a little shit bar that I've always wanted to visit but have never been to. What an awesome joint. It wasn't nearly as shitty as it looks from the outside.

Then it was on to the movie. We noticed everyone coming out of the theater had big bowls and various containers. I remembered that Tuesday was "bring your own bowl" night, where popcorn was served for $.50 in whatever bowl you had. So we opted to go to the later show of American Wedding and go to Wal-Mart to buy some containers. We came back with a trashcan. They filled the trashcan with popcorn, and we all ate out of it. It was kind of surreal.

The movie was pretty good, but it was basically a "look at how funny Stifler can be" movie. It was my least favorite of the 3.

3 dogs is 2 many.

2003-08-13T17:00:00-07:00

So, I took Abby for the weekend while Fabish is away. Her and Winnie get along fine, but her and Mazie hate each other. The plan was to leave Winnie and Abby inside for the most part and leave Mazie outside.

So I'm using this little air compressor to pump up my tires with 3 annoying dogs running around me trying to get me to play with them. I hear my phone ringing and run in to get it. It's Angie, and her and I make chit chat for about 2 minutes before I realize I should go outside to turn off the air compressor. While turning it off, I notice there are only 2 annoying dogs and Abby has run away. I tell Angie to come pick me up so we can go look for her.

One of the first stops we make is a vet clinic about 2 blocks up the road. No Abby, but I leave my information after being promised that neighborhood kids bring dogs there for a reward. Angie and I keep driving in circles around the neighborhood, speculating as to how far a lazy stupid dog could have traveled in 15 minutes.

An hour and a half later, I decide it's time to give up and just wait to see if 1. She comes back when she gets hungry, or 2. The vet clinic or PAWS calls me when they pick her up. I get home and I have a message from the vet clinic we stopped at saying they have Abby and I can pick her up in the morning for a small (large) retrieval fee.

So that's my story of the day. And tomorrow I'll pick up Abby and lock her in Fabish's basement for the duration of their trip, letting her out twice per day because she doesn't deserve a yard to play in anymore. Stupid dog.

My fish chair

2003-08-13T17:00:00-07:00

My fish chair for chair-ity is almost complete. It's not exactly how I hoped it would be, but it turned out pretty nice. I had this horrible nightmare last night, though. I dreamed that I took the chair to the auction and wandered around looking at everyone else's chair. Mine was the worst of the bunch, and when it came time for them to move mine onto the stage for the auction, the whole thing collapsed. It was a terrible dream.

Anyway, all I need to do at this point is paint it and find a way to attach some cushions to it. Yay for cushions.

Still no word on the Dynamic Graphics job, although I tried to call today and just got her voice mail. I'll call again tomorrow. My interview at Pudik is a week from today.

So I woke

2003-08-14T17:00:00-07:00

So, I woke up this morning at about 7:30 so I could walk to the cash machine, then to the vet to pick up Abby. The cash machine by my house was out of service, so I half-jogged back to my place, got in the car, and drove to the next closest ATM. Out of service. Finally to the bank ATM. Out of service. As a last ditch effort, I drove about 5 miles away to an ATM, which was actually working. I got the money I needed to get Abby back and headed back to the clinic, arriving 45 minutes late.

The lady said they did, indeed, have Abby, but since they don't have a large kennel for strays they have PAWS come pick them up every morning, which is why I was instructed to pick her up at 8 AM. My sob story about the out of service ATMs didn't help, because Abby was already on her way to PAWS.

So I go to PAWS to get her, where I was scolded for not taking better care of my dog. Granted, she wasn't my dog. And, granted, I have the most well behaved, awesomest, sweetest dog in the whole world, and that's partly because I'm the best dog owner EVER. Screw those PAWS people. I handed over my hard earned money and was escorted to the kennels where I found Abby, looking horribly sad and miserable. And I laughed. She saw me and was happy for about 3/4ths of a second, then her tail went between her legs and her ears went back.

On the ride home, I lectured her about how running away was a minor inconvenience for me and Angie and whoever brought her to the animal shelter. I also made sure to mention that last night she had 2 options. 1. Sleep in a nice, air conditioned house with 2 dog friends, or 2. Run away and spend the next 18 hours miserable and sad in a loud stinky kennel with hundreds of dogs whose owners don't want them. Then, spend the next 3 days and nights in the basement with no dog friends only being let out twice per day and unable to run around because I don't trust her without a leash anymore. She made the wrong choice. By the look on her face, I think she'd figured that one out already.

But, she's back, safe and sound. I was really worried I'd gotten Fabish's dog killed. He loves that dog almost as much as I love mine. I can't imagine how I would react if someone else got Winnie killed or lost.

Tomorrow is Freddy

2003-08-15T17:00:00-07:00

Tomorrow is Freddy vs. Jason, and I am pysched beyond words. Go Jason!

I sure do

2003-08-16T17:00:00-07:00

I sure do love Fridays at Kouri's, even when they happen on Sundays. Tonight it was me, Atomic, some kid I think was named Kevin, Polk, Rachel, Dana, Brandon, and Joshy T. It was good times, and super cheap for me because last week was so expensive. The only thing that could have made it better was Schwa. And Jen. And if Freddy vs. Jason was playing on the TVs while we were eating, because that's the greatest movie ever made (except for the Evil Deads).

Tomorrow I finish my fish chair, hopefully and finally.

And finally, look at the awesomest LJ community ever.

So I just

2003-08-16T17:00:00-07:00

So, I just got back from seeing Freddy vs. Jason and let me just say that it was the world's greatest movie ever made on the face of the whole entire earth (right after the Evil Dead movies).

With the exception of a cheesy "Jason hates water, Freddy hates fire" bit, I have 0 complaints about the flick. That should come as a surprise because I've been waiting roughly 10 years for this flick and my expectations were crazy high. But I loved it. Every second. And Jason kicked Freddy's ass, just as I predicted he would. Within the first 20 minutes, there was Freddy, Jason, a few bloody deaths, 2 sets of boobs and 1 ass. Film making at it's best, I tell ya what. I can't wait for Part 2, featuring Ash kicking both of thier asses.

Last night was

2003-08-20T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was the 20th, which meant 20% off everything at Hooters. Me and Alan went and ate a lot of wings (a LOT of wings). Then we went to Hoops and met up with Angie, Brynn, Carissa, and some guy. I don't know his name, but he had stupid hair.

Today, in less than an hour, is my job interview. I actually interview pretty good, so I'm not too worried about it. But, send your good luck wishes and/or prayers my way, because I really need a job.

Long post time

2003-08-20T17:00:00-07:00

Long post time, so either brace yourselves or skip. Whichever.

I just got back from my interview. It lasted more than an hour and a half, which is really encouraging. Another encouraging thing was that the guy I was interviewing with (the creative director) kept saying things like "we're looking for someone like you who can draw traditionally and has computer skills". He said that a couple different times... "we're looking for someone like you". Anyway, it felt good to hear that.

He said he got 80 resumes and was doing 20 interviews, then "a handful" of second interviews. The only truly discouraging thing was that I couldn't show any of the illustrations I had done for Iona, due to contracts I had signed when I left. He seemed to understand that and wasn't too concerned about it.

Anyway, the cool parts. This company seems like it would kick so much ass to work there. They're moving away from being a production house like Iona was and into being a creative consultant group. Their main focus was displays and packaging, and they need illustrators to mock up these displays and packages, as well as small product illustrations for the packages. Another cool thing is their clients. Holy Jesus, do they have awesome clients. Harley Davidson, Eureka vacuums, Panasonic, Sony... the list goes on. So, it's entirely possible that work I do for them could end up on the shelves at Wal-Mart or Target. Pretty cool stuff.

The interview just went really well. The things he mentioned about the company all seemed great. Everything I hated about Iona he hated too, and told me so without me volunteering anything. I know it's a bad idea to bad mouth a previous employer, but he had no problems doing it, then insuring me that this company was different. All good stuff. Everything was good. Great, even.

I didn't get a chance to talk salary or the vicious no compete clause I've heard about. That seems like a 2nd interview type thing. Anyway, it just went great.

The 2nd round of interviews happens after the holiday, and I hope I at least make it to the 2nd round. We'll see.

The auction people

2003-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

The auction people picked up my fish today. So, my fish chair for chair-ity is o-fish-ally fin-ished.

How's that for punny?

No Kouri's last

2003-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

No Kouri's last night, but instead, one of the most fun nights I've had in a long time. For some reason.

It's Fabish's week off between semesters, so he's been rarin' to go out after a long, long time of never being able to do anything. On Thursday he called to go out, but I was broke, so had to decline. To my astonishment, he offered to pay for my night out, rationalizing it that he'd put me through a few hours of hell when I lost his dog. So I accepted, and we went by Katie McButts, who unfortunately didn't take credit cards, because I would have loved hanging out there forever. Instead we headed to Sullivan's for some good beers and good conversations.

Last night I was still broke, so Fabish offered to pay for me, again. First we stopped by Mullens' new house which he had just closed on, then a whole lot of us went down to Sully's for happy hour. Sully's happy hour used to be a tradition with me and Fabish when we lived together. They had $1 generic beer pints and free chicken wings and chips and salsa. They only give you tiny little plates, but Fabish and I have learned how to stack up those wings. So anyway, me, Fabish, Mullens, Amy, Angie, and Justin stuffed ourselves silly with free food and cheap beer.

Everyone had other things to do that night except me and Mullens, so he wanted to sit on lawn chairs in his new house and drink beer. I wasn't too excited about that plan, so I wasn't disappointed when he accidently locked his keys in his house. We came back to my place and watched Comedy Central. I was in bed and asleep by 11:30. And it was a great night.

THE COOLEST WEBSITE

2003-08-24T17:00:00-07:00

THE COOLEST WEBSITE IN THE HISTORY OF ALL THE UNIVERSE!

So the freelance

2003-08-24T17:00:00-07:00

So, the freelance world for me has fizzled and died, and I find it increasingly more difficult to spend the time it takes to actually get the jobs. I'm really banking on this illustration position working out, so if it doesn't, I'll probably have to go back to Kinko's or something for a while. And that would suck, suck, suck, suck ass. But, I gots bills to pay and whatnot.

Last night was a free night out on the town because Mullens was tending bar at Jimmy's. It was a fun night with lots of people. The weekend was significantly less eventful, since I'm broke all the time. Saturday night I went to a barbeque at Fabish's which consisted of me and 3 married couples. Weird. Weird. Weird. And more weird. Sunday I tried to squeeze in Kouri's amongst other, premade plans, but failed. Barely failed, but failed.

So Winnie has

2003-08-25T17:00:00-07:00

So, Winnie has found a way outside of the yard. I don't know how she did it, but it's annoying. So now she's an inside dog until I figure out how she got out and how to stop it.

I wrote a follow up letter today. The first of my entire life. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think if I send a follow up, then I'm absolutely guaranteed the position. Right? Right? Right. Good.

Anyway, I'm crazy broke and have been surviving mostly by eating stuff I was given a long time ago and don't normally enjoy eating. This includes canned fruits, frozen vegetables, soup, and washing it down with vegetable oil. Yum. I have also been drinking a lot of water, which is healthy, but I've only been doing it out of necessity and I can't wait for the time when I don't have to drink it anymore. Water blows. I'm really looking forward to Kouri's on Friday, but I may have to skip the eats and scour the couch cushions for change for beerz.

I was supposed

2003-08-27T17:00:00-07:00

I was supposed to go to Madison today with Mullens to help him "set up" a Verizon store up there. That basically means hanging signs and mounting shelves. I helped him with 2 of the stores in Peoria free of charge, but for this one it would be a paying gig... $150. Not too shabby for a day's work. But, that has been cancelled, which shouldn't really come as a surprise to those of you following my financial life as of late (read: broke all the time and all potential jobs fall through). I really need to get this illustrator position at Pudik.

Mullens just bought a house that needs new windows, so he called my uncle's siding and window company to get a quote. He mentioned that he knew the owners, so they sent out my cousin to give a quote. I decided I'd stop by to say hello, and my presence ended up getting Mullens an awesome deal... almost half off the normal price. As a thank you, he took me to dinner at Hoops because I'm too poor to afford the $2 dinner myself.

Last night I spent more than I should have (a whopping $13) to go out with Carissa and Brynn. I've known them both for a long time, but we were always just friends of friends. It was nice to get a call from them to just hang out without the normal "in between" friends. So, we went to Babes (my first time) for half-priced drinks and terrible karaoke, then to Steak 'n Shake to finish the night.

Grolsch is a terrible beer. I order everyone reading this to never drink it.

So I don't

2003-08-28T17:00:00-07:00

So I don't forget:

2nd Interview at Pudik Graphics, September 10th, at 10:30 AM with David Smit and several others.

Yeah, they just called, which is freaking awesome, awesome, awesome. David told me that I wouldn't hear about a 2nd interview until Tuesday or Wednesday, after the owner of the company got back from vacation. I don't know if it's a good thing or not that the scheduling is premature, but I'm going to assume it's good.

I'm excited. Financial freedom, here I come! Hopefully. And if nothing else, it's validating to get a 2nd interview with some pretty harsh competition. I don't imagine there's more than 6 or 7 2nd interviews out of a batch of 80 resumes, so I'm feeling fine. I'll feel even finer if I get the job.

Thank heaven for

2003-08-28T17:00:00-07:00

Thank heaven for piracy. AKA - Goodbye, TV. AKA - Hello, temporary financial freedom.

So I was all bummed out because I can't ever afford to do anything anymore and after writing all my checks and paying all my bills yesterday, I realized I was going to have to skip paying 1 or more due to lack of fundage. I've done that before and it's rarely a big deal, but it's still just a bummer when it happens.

So I'm all depressy and bored and all sitting on my couch watching the same episode of Conan O'Brien I've watched many times in the last few days when I realized that I have a fast internet connection and Kazaa. So I pirated 28 Days Later and tried for Freddie vs. Jason, but came up short. But anyway, last night I had some good, free entertainment, and 28 Days Later was totally sweet enough to buy it on DVD when it comes out, if I have money by then. So I don't feel too bad about the pirating stuff, but then again, I never do.

And in other news, I'd like to bid a fond farewell to my huge, ridiculous TV. Goodbye, TV. We've had some good times, you and I. We've watched a lot of great movies together, and you've hurt my back on several occassions while dragging you up and down stairs, moving into 2 house and 2 different apartment buildings. You were the first major purchase I made after getting a good job, and it's sad to see you go. I will miss you. But I'm sure that you will enjoy your stay in Mullens' house, and I'm sure that I'll enjoy the $700 he's giving me for you. While I'm sure you're worth more, you understand how broke I am and how much I desperately need the $700.

I'd also like to welcome back to my life my old TV. Hello, 25" TV. We have less fond memories together, when I pissed off the Circuit City salesman getting the cheapest TV I possibly could. You lived with me during the time in Chicago when I had the worst roommate ever, and kept me company on those long nights he'd be humping his girlfriend and kept me locked out of my own bedroom. Sure, your picture isn't the greatest and half of your screen has an annoying green tint to it, but at least you're a TV, and hopefully able to keep me slightless less bored while I remain unemployed for the next couple of days (hopefully) or possibly weeks. Or maybe years.

Last night was a new low in my poorness. Angie called, needing a ride from downtown because she was half drunk and didn't have a car. I told her I'd pick her up if she'd buy me a drink at Jimmy's, where Mullens and Andy and a few others were. She agreed, and I was on my way. When I got to pick her up, I was rejected, because she said her friends wouldn't let her leave. So I collected my drink money and went to Jimmy's, where I consumed a free beer and 2 trays of free popcorn (which, yes, was my entire dinner). Then I came home, driving about half the way while it sprinkled on my Jeep which had the top down.

Hurray for my pathetic life!

A big shout

2003-08-29T17:00:00-07:00

A big shout out to my dawggy dawg rad_jose for treating me to dinner and drinks at Kouri's tonight, and not even expecting me to put out. Even though I totally would have.

The weekend was

2003-08-31T17:00:00-07:00

The weekend was pretty rad, yo. We kicked it out hardcore on Friday like a mother, partying it up with the brothers Polk, Brandon, Captain Jim, and Planet Schwa. I was broke as a joke, so Bryan J. played my sugar daddy, jumping in with some cash for me and my tenderloin.

Saturday was enough fun for 2 days worth of good times. Fabish, Amy and I arrived at Katie's wedding just in time to not go to the wedding at all, but instead go to the rehearsal for free food and free drinks. And I drank. And I drank. And I drank. And I dr... okay, long story short, I got fucked up. But I wasn't insane drunk whore drunk, just cool funny Tim drunk who was able to make friends with complete strangers by mocking Catholicism and pissing on trees. At around midnight, Fabish and I decided we were bored with the whole wedding nonsense and went and "rented" a golf cart (by rent, I mean stole from the golf course) and tried to do burn outs. This proved remarkably hard, even as we tried to decrease the weight and, later, lean on the front of the car hoping to lift the back tires enough for them to spin. That didn't work either. Eventually we had to drive it into a sand trap for the tires to actually start spinning.

On the ride home I was acting completely smashed, as I'm prone to do when I'm completely smashed, playing with all the gizmos that Alan has available in his car. Worried that I'd break them, he'd keep taking his eyes off the road to grab the aforementioned gizmos and swerve a little bit. And, you guessed it, we were pulled over by the 5-0 for driving eradically. I'm guessing they were watching all the drunk asses drive away from the wedding and pulled over anyone who looked slightly drunk, but the jokes on them since Alan was at work and hadn't had a drop of alcohol. Feeling a bit overconfident that the cops had nothing on us, when the cop told Alan he was driving eradically, I proceeded to yell out "I think you mean erectionally!", then pretended like I grabbed Alan's schlong and was driving with it. The car was silent, assuming I had just gotten all of us arrested, but the cop laughed it off and let us go once we convinced him that Alan was sober and merely tending to the drunk guy next to him.

On the way home, Angie wanted to stop for cigarettes, so we all pulled into the gas station. I felt a bit sick to my stomach, so I got out of the car, calmly walked over to the ice machine, and proceeded to puke more than I've ever puked right on all the ice bags. It was quite a sight to see, I'll tell you what. The people at the pumps were mortified, but I was laughing. We got out of the gas station as quickly as we possibly could.

Sunday was much less eventful. I spent the day tending to my horrible hang over and dry heaving. And that was my weekend.

PS - most of the events I referred to on Saturday night were completely made up. I'll let you decide which were real and which weren't.

So hungry, and no money to eat with.

2003-09-01T17:00:00-07:00

So Pudik Graphics just called again, and moved my interview up from September 10th to tomorrow. The lady I spoke with asked if I could come in "Tomorrow. Or possibly the next day. As soon as possible." Is this good? Is this bad? Does this mean absolutely nothing? We'll find out tomorrow, I suppose.

In other news, being out of work and bored most of the time with no income and no hope of getting income has really taken it's toll and life has lost virtually all meaning to me. Why wake up? What do I have to do today besides walk downstairs and watch TV? The interview at Pudik is at least a reason to wake up tomorrow. Hopefully they'll give me a job and I'll start very very soon, getting a consistent paycheck and paying off these god forsaken credit cards that have been killing me for the last couple years.

In other news, for those of you keeping track at home, virtually everything that I said happened on Saturday night didn't actually happen. I did, however, mock Catholicism, but the company wasn't very mixed and I knew no one would be offended. And I got kind of drunk. But other than that, all lies.

Oy! So the

2003-09-02T17:00:00-07:00

Oy! So, the interview was good. It lasted 2 hours. It was a really good interview... not a lot of silences, and a good dialogue about not just work, but also hobbies and some joking around. We got along well. It was good. They said my "body of work" was "impressive". I think it was their way of telling me that they noticed I've been working out.

Uh... so, they didn't hire me on the spot as some people, myself included, predicted they would. The owner said there was 3 candidates up for the position and they hadn't decided how many to hire. It's possible, although unlikely, that all 3 would be hired. The tour was awesome... the creative department was what I wished Iona was... a huge room with computers, drawing tables, art supplies, toys, movie posters, music... it was really an environment that encouraged creativity rather than smothered it, like Iona was.

The only discouraging thing about the interview was that the owner mentioned that he was looking for a traditional illustrator with animation experience and a background in graphic design. I'm by no means a graphic designer, and my design skillz are average at best. Still, though, I doubt that many people in Peoria can do what I do. Not to be cocky. Ah, fuck it. I'm the best.

The only thing that bothered me was their no compete clause. 2 years or 150 miles. That sucks. A lot. But, I understand. This company does work for big name clients, and they do big name jobs. 1 week of vacation my first year, 2 weeks after my first year is complete. 8 paid holidays, health, life, and dental insurance, and, most importantly, a SALARY. Thank God for consistent pay checks.

He didn't say when I'd know something for sure, but he said it would be soon. So keep your fingers crossed if you're the supernatural type, and if you're the religious type, pray. I really want, and more importantly, really need this job.

A few notes

2003-09-03T17:00:00-07:00

A few notes about today:

My boobs and my arms hurt because I've been working out. But I'm seeing results.
I'm bored an awful lot.
Getting back on a first-shift type schedule sucks.
I'm having a hard time not thinking about the possible job I have all lined up.
It feels good to have money in my bank account for a change, but watching TV is less fulfilling on a small screen.
I'm all out of soda, and I'm thirsty for one right now.

I think I

2003-09-03T17:00:00-07:00

I think I need LJ friends who post more often. It's a shame that I haven't added anyone to my LJ friends list for like 2 years. Maybe later today I'll just add every single person on LJ who I've met in real life. That seems like a good way to waste some time.

Today a crazy old lady who I don't know was crying in my driveway because she had a flat tire. That was an experience.

Last night I went to Hoops. That wasn't much of an experience, except that I ate too much pizza. 4 slices. But it was good.

Today I went back to Pudik to drop off some samples of portraits I've done while freelancing. Hopefully I'll hear something about the job either today or tomorrow. I hope all of your fingers are still crossed for me.

It was the

2003-09-06T17:00:00-07:00

It was the most uneventful weekend ever this weekend.

Friday was Kouri's, as per usual, and we got there at a bit after 7:00 and took a seat inside because all the outside tables were taken. We sat there, waiting to give our drink orders while being ignored by the waitress. And we sat there. And we sat there. And we sat there. For just over 20 minutes. Finally she came, after we got Jen to find her for us, gave us a casual "sorry", and took our orders. Another 10 minutes passed before we got our beer.

The meal was good, but not good enough to justify the time we wasted waiting for it. Since was paying with a debit card, he laid the card at the end of the table. And we waited. And waited. And waited. For about 15 minutes, before she finally came and picked it up. There's very few times that I wouldn't feel bad about pullin' the 'ole dine and ditch, but this was one of them. And it's not like the restaurant was crazy packed with only 1 waitress... our waitress was waiting on the other tables really well, always checking in on them and constantly bringing drinks and food to them.

In the end, we left a $.29 tip. That'll learn her. That'll learn her real good.

After Kouri's I came home and watched TV.

Yesterday I helped my dad a lot in the yard, then I came home and watched TV.

Tim: On the

2003-09-08T17:00:00-07:00

Tim: On the effects on not working and instead sitting at home watching too much TV and dreaming of the job that he thinks he may have in the bag.

So, I've been battling off the 'ole depression bug for the past week or 2. I've had bouts of happiness, usually following the phone calls I get from Pudik, although I haven't received "the big one" yet, either giving me the job or turning me down.

It's a hard feeling to describe, this unemployed feeling. It's being completely directionless, unmotivated, unhappy, and yes, even a little worthless. Like I'm just taking up space and wasting time. Sure, I've been unemployed, or self employed, whatever you wanna call it, for over 2 years now with varying degrees of success. But even in my broke times, I wasn't completely unhappy. I felt like I was striving for something... at least TRYING for something. But not lately. I've done what I know how to do, and it's time to accept the fact that I failed at it. I couldn't make it work.

That's a depressing thought. Sure, I'm unemployed, living a day at a time, unable to spend money on anything of any worth, but then there's also the fact that I failed. I completely failed at making a business work. It's probably the first time that I really set my mind to something, had a specific goal in mind, and didn't reach it. I couldn't do it.

Excuse me for a second while I sound like a cocky son of a bitch.

I always thought I was born to do something with myself. I was born to make an impression... born to do great things, influence people. I thought I'd be successful at a young age. Maybe not a millionaire, but I thought people would know who I was. I don't even mean everyone... I mean the kind of guy that I used to look up to when I was a kid. Sure, everyone knows who Sam Raimi is now, but they didn't back when I fell in love with him at age 16 or so. When he was 20, he wrote and directed The Evil Dead, now looked at as one of the most influencial movies of all time and respected among industry pros. I thought I would do something like that... something that most people wouldn't give a shit about, ever, but that people who KNEW would KNOW I did it. I just want to have a credit to my name that people know. That's all I ever wanted. Either as an influencial comic book artist like Berni Wrightson or an influencial animator like Chuck Jones. I just thought I was destined to do something new.

And sure, there's time to be that guy. But every day that goes by that I'm not being that guy depresses me. Why aren't I that guy? And why aren't I trying to be? And in what field am I supposed to be "that guy"?

Anyway, it's a depressing time, I guess. I'm at an impasse and I don't know where I'm going, for the first time in my life. I've always had a direction, but I don't right now. And sure, I guess my potential job is a direction, and while I'll like the money, I don't think I'll like much else, and I'll just tell myself that I'm doing it "in the meantime". But in the meantime for what? What's next? And why haven't I accomplished nearly as much as I wanted to accomplish by the time I was 24?

I do like the idea of a full time job for the money's sake and for the sake of making my house payment and all, but I don't like the idea of being a faceless employee at a faceless company who, by contract, can never take credit for the work I do. But, if I keep my mind focused on the paycheck, maybe it'll be bareable. At least. And the artist inside of me is saying that every ounce of creativity, originality, and motivation to do my own thing will be sucked out by "the man".

I just don't know anymore, which, I guess, is sort of the issue at hand. I just don't know of anything, and I used to be so sure of myself and my life.

And my Jeep needs a new exhaust, and 1 tire leaks air like a motherfucker and I have to refill it every time I drive it. I used my spare a while back because I drove over a bolt. The tire now broke a belt, which makes it unrepairable. Which means I just have to fill it with air before I drive anywhere because I can't fix either tire and can't afford to replace 1 or both of them. It's frustrating that something so minor can be so devastating when you have absolutely no disposable income. Don't even ask about how I plan on repairing my exhaust leak, since it's been like 6 months and it's no more fixed now than it was when it started leaking. I plan on not fixing it, I guess.

Anyway, kids, it's just a bad, sad, lonely, boring, depressy time for yours truly at the moment. Hold tight. I'll be back to my old self soon, I hope.

So I've been

2003-09-10T17:00:00-07:00

So, I've been psyching myself out of thinking I got the job at Pudik. I keep thinking... if it was good, I would have heard something. So today I gave in and called, asking what the story was. The receptionist said I needed to talk to David again, who was on another call, and he'd give me a call back. So I waited. And waited. And I thought to myself that if I got the job, he would have called me back right away. At around 4, after waiting 6 hours for a call back, I finally got one.

They'd narrowed the field a bit, and I was still in the running for the position. There's 3 of us now (I was misinformed... 5 got a 2nd interview), all of which possessed different skill sets and they just needed to see who would fit into the company best. So my chances are good, but not as good as if there was only 1 candidate. I'll hear something next week.

And in the mean time, I'm working at the gallery again while Brandon recovers, which will put food in my belly and keep my lights on. Things don't suck, but they'd be a whole lot better if I got that job. So I'm feeling gooder than I have in a while.

And I really need this job. Still.

I'm bored. I'm

2003-09-13T17:00:00-07:00

I'm bored.

I'm also becoming obsessed with reading journals on this here livejournal thing that piss me off. I don't know why. I'm up to three, count 'em, three LJs which piss me off due to their respective authors' crazy stupidity, and yet I read them incessantly. It's like an addiction, sort of like Diet Coke.

I'm cheering up a bit, but man was I in a pissed off mood last night. I was just glad no one was around to witness it. I just played some Snood and listened to some MP3s and did a bit of drawing. On top of being broke, unemployed, and in a pissy mood, I'm also feeling pretty creatively frustrated. I get this way every once in a while, and I just need a solid few hours of painting or drawing or building to get over it. Tomorrow, I will work out. Then I will paint. Then, maybe, if I feel like it, I will clean. Maybe.

I worked at Bibo's again on Friday for a few hours, and actually felt like a member of society once again. I work there again on Wednesday at least, and depending on the load, maybe a few other days next week. Pudik also promised me a phone call next week, so I may very well be employed again. Making money. Able to pay bills. And credit cards.

A big shout out to my dad, who took pity on his son and hooked me up with a tire which, although doesn't match in size or brand to my other tires, holds air. We put it on the car, so no more filling up the tire every time I drive anywhere. Overlooking the fact that the Jeep sits kind of crooked due to the different size of said replacement, it's perfect. Once I get a job, these little expenses won't phase me, but shit, that tire situation put me in a terrible mood. So minor, and yet I am financially unable to cover it. It's frustrating, to say the least. My friends can afford to go out to eat, and I can't afford the necessities. Ah, but you've read enough of my financial woes.

I also never mentioned seeing an ad in the classifieds for a comic book artist. I applied, of course, but haven't heard anything yet. Maybe this week. It seemed legit enough, I guess.

So the days

2003-09-15T17:00:00-07:00

So, the days are running together into 1 gloriously long TV show at this point, with brief commercial interruptions for working on refinishing my chairs. It's a wonderful life. Until around 3 PM, I thought today was Tuesday.

I've been trying to keep myself busy though, which is proving to be difficult. I could clean, I guess, but I hate cleaning. A lot.

But, my spirits have improved considerably. I guess I've gotten pretty used to being worthless. Or maybe I'm just getting more optimistic about this job I may or may not have.

Tonight is Jimmy's, and since I think Mullens is working, it will either be cheap or free. And, of course, free popcorn, which, yes, is my dinner, and yes, I realize this sentence had far too many commas, but I think they were all used accurately.

I know that I cut my fingernails on the couch while watching TV, but it still bothers me to death when I hear Alan doing it. I don't know why. Someone please explain this phenomenon.

I talked to

2003-09-17T17:00:00-07:00

I talked to Jack. Conversation was vague. Outlook looks good. Meeting at 2:00. I think I'm employed.

Oy. So. I

2003-09-17T17:00:00-07:00

Oy. So. I don't know what just happened.

I went to Pudik and talked to the owner of the company, who told me that if he had it his way, he would make me an offer today and have me start tomorrow. Unfortunately, they're too busy to hire someone new. Sort of a catch-22, I guess.... too much work means not enough employees to have someone free to show me the ropes. I just sort of need to learn the chain of command... who to report to, where to get the projects from, who to give them to, who to ask questions, how the network is set up, ya know, those business things that you just need someone to show you.

Then he launched into a speech about Iona, and freelancing, and how they were different from Pudik, and made sure that I could adjust to the different environment. I assured him it wouldn't be an issue, and he seemed satisfied with that. He ended by saying that he needed to talk to the creative director and account managers to find someone who could take some time to teach me what I need to be taught. He said he'd call back next week, make me an offer, and have a start date in mind. As it is now, he's sure I'm hired, he just doesn't know when I'll start.

And, I think they're going to hire all 3 of us who made it to the final round. He already hired a graphic designer and she started yesterday. He mentioned needing to have the same talk with the other illustrator candidate. It'll be good to not be the only new guy starting out.

Imagine, me, employed. Weird.

So I worked

2003-09-17T17:00:00-07:00

So, I worked all day at Bibo's today, getting home at around 5:00. My answering machine was blinking. It was Jack Pudik, of Pudik Graphics, wanting to talk to me. I had almost gone home on my lunch break to check my messages, but convinced myself that there would be no message.

Anyhoo, Jack was out of the office when I tried to call back, so I'll call back bright and early tomorrow morning for... bum bum BUM! THE FINAL DECISION! I think. We'll see.

David warned me that the phone call would be a mini-third interview. So... yeah. I think it's encouraging that the owner called... I would think that bad news would mean a person a bit lower on the totem pole would call me. But we'll find out at 8 AM tomorrow morning, and I'll post here immediately since I'm sure everyone (no one) reading this cares a lot.

Tonight was Hoops. I ran into Noodle, of Rad Jose fame. That's 1 nice guy, right there.

Okay so this

2003-09-18T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so, this is a friends-only post. Basically, I didn't get the job at Pudik. And, basically, it's because of this here journal. And, basically, I'm extremely happy about not getting it, and surprisingly, am not depressed and realize it's all for the best. I didn't need it, and I don't want it. In retrospect. For now, it sucks. Tomorrow, it will be okay. And it will be a relief. Details will be made available... well, maybe never, depending on... well.. stuff. But I'm still unemployed with a couple of potential leads.

And it's important for me to remember (as well as everyone reading this...) everything happens for a reason. It's really important. God, or whoever, didn't want me to have this job, and therefore, I can't be angry or upset that it's not going to be given to me. While I'm not a religious man, I know that God wouldn't ass fuck me for fun. This is how things are supposed to be, and I'm happy. Relieved, even. And validated. And fuck anyone who can't see how talented I am and how much I would help their company. Fuck them to hell. I'm better than that.

Go me. I'm happy.

Goodbye, last 3 years of my life from the public.

2003-09-19T17:00:00-07:00

Welcome to my first friends-only post in my friends-only journal. Even though this post is friends-only, I won't get into why. It's a lame story that doesn't matter.

All I can say is thank God for blessings in disguise. I was depressed and upset about the recent events for all of a few hours, but with the help of my awesome friends overcame that pretty quick, and I realize that everything that's happened will be for the best in the long run. I'm no better off than I was a few weeks ago, but also no worse. And that's what matters.

All the shit hit the fan on Thursday, and that night, Alan, Jenny, Angie, Mullens, and Fabish all came over and drank beer and made sure I wasn't suicidal. I was actually in very good spirits and starting to accept that this whole mess was for the greater good. I don't have a job, but at least I haven't signed my life away and locked myself into a life I may have hated.

Last night, Fabish treated me to a free dinner at Sully's, then we came back to my place and watched Anger Management with Angie. I miss hanging out with that kid, for sure.

all dressed up and no where to go.

2003-09-20T17:00:00-07:00

I was all excited to go to Oktoberfest last night, but alas, couldn't get a hold of MrJim on his cell phone. Angie and I had made back up plans because her date wasn't calling and I couldn't get a hold of the group I needed to get a hold of, but those fell through once her date actually did call. Then I fell asleep on the couch watching Interview with the Vampire, missing a phone call from Fabish inviting me to Jimmy's. But, at that point, I figured I was too tired to go anywhere or do anything.

Ah, it was for the best, I imagine. I shouldn't be spending any money. After all, I'm unemployed.

So I ate

2003-09-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, I ate lunch with my parents and had a big long talk about me, my life, my goals, etc.

I said that this multimedia thing isn't working out for me. I already had, and quit, a position at one of the multimedia places in central Illinois I could work at, and another I was blacklisted from. There's about 2 other big firms, and a handful of small ones, but none are hiring of course because the economy sucks. So I told them that, for now, my plan is to get a full time job doing shit work (IE- anything I possibly can get) and then get a part time job to finish making ends meet. It's a shit goal, really. And I have no idea how long I'd need to do that before another position opened up. So they presented to me a plan which makes a whole helluvalotta sense.

I go back to school, get a shitload of financial aid, finish up my degree, and be an art teacher. In 3 years, all of Peoria will need new teachers, since all the teachers right now are old. There's tons of perks to this plan. Here we go.

It's a damn plan. It's a future. It's a goal. It's something to put my mind to and look forward to, rather than think I'll spend the rest of my life in a shit job which is only making ends meet.
I get to be the art teacher I loved when I was a kid. Even if I only meet 1 future artist every 10 years, it will be worth it to encourage them to pursue art, to talk to their parents and encourage them to send them to summer art classes, like my art teachers did with me. I'd actually be making a difference.
The hours and vacation time can't be beat with a stick. 3 months off every year to do my own thing, try and start my own side business, or try to get more mural and portrait work, since I realize teachers don't get paid a lot.
Retirement. I'd actually have a retirement plan. Amazing in today's society.
Financial aid. There'll never be a better time to go back to school than now, when I don't have to claim my parents' income and mine is virtually nil. I may get all of school paid for, with some extra to pay my bills.

So I'm calling ISU and Western and a few other choice schools tomorrow and see what they have for me. I've already got an associates, so it shouldn't take more than 2 years to finish up my degree and be ready to teach. I don't imagine I'll start before January, so until then, it's all about finding shit work. I've already called an employment agency or 2 around here to see if they can find me something, anything, in the mean time.

Anyway, I feel good about this plan. And, if nothing else, at least it's something.

Meeting at 2:00

2003-09-22T17:00:00-07:00

Meeting at 2:00 at PJS, with a guy who is going to try to grease the 'ole wheels and get me a place in their New Media or Art Department. Sweet.

So here's a

2003-09-22T17:00:00-07:00

So here's a funny story.

My dad had told the story of what happened to me at Company X to one of his coworkers, who, in turn, told his son-in-law, who is also an artist/designer in Peoria. Apparently he didn't remember the name of Company X and only gave a really short description of what had happened. At that point, his son-in-law said "Was it those assholes at Company X?" Apparently they have a reputation in Peoria as being really good, but also fucking Nazis. The owner is a control freak and kind of a jerk, and no one feels comfortable working there, but because of the agreements everyone has to sign, is there for life. It's becoming really obvious that what happened to me was for the best.

And, in other news, the aforementioned son-in-law has inside information about an artist job at the Journal Star. He's one of the guys who got my story about the NES PC published, and now I'm supposed to call him regarding this new opening. We'll see what happens. Even if I get it, I'm going to pursue the whole college thing again so hopefully I won't be backed into the same corner I'm in now... nowhere to go and no way to get there.

Also, the employment agency place called me back and asked for my resume. At this point, I would take any job you could throw my way. Well, probably not fast food. But any other job. I'd love to work 3rd shift again.

The meeting at

2003-09-25T17:00:00-07:00

The meeting at PJS went well. Really well. I met some people who could possibly get me jobs in the future. The guy I was meeting had pretty much the awesomest job in the whole universe, but there's no openings in his department, nor will there be for quite some time. Hopefully I could get in with the advertising and move on up if they ever need someone new or something. Time will tell.

Iona still hasn't returned my phone call begging for my old position back.I'll call again today. Right now, though, I'm meeting my mom who is buying my birthday present for me. I like getting birthday presents.

Man. If I

2003-09-27T17:00:00-07:00

Man. If I had it to do over again, I would have worked out with weights when I started the big weight loss program a year and a half ago. Sure, I've lost nearly 70 pounds, but damn... I notice more of a difference from the weight training over the past 6 or 7 weeks than I do with the 70 pound weight difference. I feel better, and muscles are starting to pop out where before it was just flat, or fat, skin. The only down side is that I'm hungry constantly. I mean... all the time. Starting about 10 minutes after I eat, I get crazy hungry again. Friends who work out tell me that's a sign of my metabolism speeding up and the body compensating, as well as needing more nutrients to rebuild the muscles I've tried so hard to tear down. My arms are getting lumpy, and my boobs are really close to becoming pecs. I've thought long and hard about the difference between boobs and pecs, and here's my theory:

If your boobs are lower on the outside (towards the arms) than they are in the center, they're boobs. If they're higher on the outside than in the center, they're pecs. So it is written, and so shall it be. Go in peace, my children.

Yesterday was a

2003-09-28T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was a fun, boring day. I went up to Fabish's, hung out, smoked a cigar, watched some Comedy Central, and went to a Chinese Buffet. Good times. We're starting to turn into old men.. or, some would say, we're already there. When we hang out, we just sit outside on one of our porches, talk, and drink beer or smoke cigars.

Afterwards, I came home and watched part of Halloween 5 before falling asleep at 9:00.

This morning I went out near my parents' house to look at the wall for the mural I'm painting for the Trading Places thingie later this week. Then I came home to find 3, count 'em, 3 places that sound like they're hiring someone with my skills and experience. I applied online to all 3, but tomorrow will actually visit the places and drop off my resume personally. I'm not scared to come on strong when I'm this desperate.

On Saturday I went out with a whole slew of people. Angie, Carissa, Brynn, Fabish, Callahan, Fuller, Marie, Renee, Alan, and Drew. I was the driver, so I managed to go out from 9 PM to 3 AM and spend exactly $4, while eating a ton of free popcorn at Jimmy's. When you're broke, being the driver is the only way to go, I'll tell you what.

It's been a

2003-10-01T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a big week for me, considering I'm unemployed and all. My dad has taken pity upon me once again and given me a job cleaning carbs for him. It's totally lame. I take them apart, bead blast them, wipe 'em down, paint 'em, and leave them for him to put back together. For those of you who don't know, he runs a small business on the side doing tripowers and I've always helped him with the website (pontiactripower.com/pontiac/index.shtml), eBay, email, and the like, but this carb stuff isn't my style. It's okay though, and makes me feel less bad about the financial help I get from him on occassion. And it leaves him time to do the important stuff, so he's able to take more jobs and make more money. So it's a good thing. Although one of the worst things about being unemployed is the severe lack of human contact. And working alone in my dad's garage is no better than sitting alone on my couch.

Yesterday was the job fair. It totally blew. And sucked. The 2 jobs that look appealing to me from there are a correctional officer at a prison and a car salesman. Most people were looking for telemarketers, and in a huge completely tasteless move, there were no less than 5 colleges and trade schools there looking for students. It's a fucking job fair, not a "go back to school" fair. I was one of the people who got duped by walking up to them and asking what they were looking for, only to hear "students". I saw a bunch of people do the same thing.

And today is the Trading Places thingie. I just hope I get my name in the paper. Again.

happy birthday to me.

2003-10-02T17:00:00-07:00

Today I'm finishing up the mural for that Swapping Spaces or whatever thing, then going out to my sister's house for my birthday dinner. Not to be picky or anything, but I didn't get to choose the restaurant. Or lack of restaurant. Nor did I choose the meal we're eating. Maybe it's selfish that I expect that on my birthday. Or maybe I'm just bitter because I have a terrible sore throat that I can tell is working itself into a full blown sickness. Either way, I plan to be in bed and asleep by 9:00 tonight, which I haven't done since my 6th birthday, I think.

24 is old, old, old.

What great friends

2003-10-03T17:00:00-07:00

What great friends I have.

I came home from my birthday thing at my sister's house to find a gallon of orange juice in the refridgerator and a bottle of DayQuil next to a birthday cake that said "Happy 23rd + 1 birthday" on it on my dining room table. I suspect it was the work of Angie and Mullens, although Fabish could have also played a role. Anyway, it was very, very nice. I popped in Resident Evil and was asleep on my couch by 9. I woke up around 11 to make the long trek up to my bedroom, where I slept until 10 this morning. Today, I feel about 90% what I usually do. My sore throat is gone, praise the Lord, but the headache and stuffiness remains. We'll see if I recover enough to make it to this photo party I hear so much about. The promise of seeing may get my ass there, as well as the potential to have my picture posted in several journals throughout the world. Or at least throughout the Peoria area.

Polk and MrJim's

2003-10-04T17:00:00-07:00

Polk and MrJim's photo party was a blast and a half. I took no less than 154 pictures through out the night, which can be viewed here. My personal favorites:

polk's conscience

planet schwa's little bizarro head

schwa has an idea ('cuz of the lightbulb, get it?)

does this look infected?

sorry dude. i have a monkey face

everyone! shut your eyes!

hang on, i have to pop a zit.

"look, i can balance a record on my head!" "yes polk, truly amazing."

i have to piss, but my head is stuck to a wall.

i'm completely speechless.

either hand me a glass to pee in or a crowbar. to unstick my head from the wall.

i hate getting phone calls from dicks

simon says raise your left arm. and look at the person you have a crush on.

"is that a ufo?" "dude, stop being a fag."

I can't believe

2003-10-06T17:00:00-07:00

I can't believe no one else has posted any pics from Polk's photo party. How disappointing.

The most eventful

2003-10-07T17:00:00-07:00

The most eventful thing to happen to me in the last few days has been trimming my facial hair. It's an exciting time.

So, Mullens has basically secured me a job at Verizon. It's a gay position, really. There's a store about 3 blocks from where I live that no one ever goes to. That's where people start out and when they learn the ropes, they always transfer out to some other store to get more commission. So, the store needs people, and I'm certainly people. Basically I'll work by myself, watch Dish Network, and help the 3 customers per week that come in. Commission will be non-existant, but it's something ridiculous like $9.50/hour to basically sit there and watch TV, which is remarkably similar to my career now. Just a different location. Combined with what junkmachine pulls down per month combined with the tripower CDs I sell for my dad combined with the incredibly random mural job, I'll be doing pretty okay financially, just without any free time.

Plus, I have a new idea, similar to the NES PC which will hopefully get me back on national television, get me millions more hits, get my traffic up, up, and away, and make me more than what junkmachine already makes. Between all the affiliates and part sales, the occassional controller adapters I make, and donations, that site gets like $110/month. Not too shabby, really. Go junkmachine.

The project requires me having broken Nintendos, so I'm on a hunt for them if anyone reading this has any to give me. I went around town looking for them only to have 2, count 'em, 2 given to me just for asking nicely. They're the most fucked up Nintendos I've ever seen, but they'll work.

Oy. What an incredibly boring and rambly post.

A big shout out to my dawg who forwarded me that Marvel is actively searching for artists for the first time in forever. They have sample scripts for download, so I may go ahead and draw 'em out and see what happens. If you're gonna be rejected, ya might as well be rejected by the most popular comic book company on the face of the planet. Right? Right.

Finally got Steve

2003-10-08T17:00:00-07:00

Finally got Steve, my old boss at Iona, on the phone and had a chit-chat about my career and where I'm going. He said, as I expected, that they don't have anything open and available for me at the moment but would keep me in mind for the future. I told him that I may be going back to school and switching fields entirely, and that seemed to concern him. But, that's also 2 years down the road and there's plenty of time for a position to reopen at Iona. So, we'll see.

And in the meantime, I have my interview with Stephanie Mullens tomorrow about this Verizon gig. I feel better after talking to Steve and realizing that I won't be back on at Iona in the near future, and I can take this Verizon deal without wondering what would have happened if I had tried harder to get in touch with Steve. It's a shame that the economy sucks so bad.

He also brought up the TV thing and the newspaper stuff, which I thought was funny. I warned him about me being in the paper again soon, and he commented that it was pretty funny that I've gotten all this notarity in my self-employed days which equals roughly nothing monetarily. Funny, and also depressing. Arg.

Tim Hi this

2003-10-08T17:00:00-07:00

Tim,

Hi, this is Jonathan Short from 89.1 WIDR-FM is Kalamazoo. I'm the
producer of a show called Super-Pop here at the station, and we generally
interview authors, musicians, film directors, etc. However, on the 22nd of
October we're interviewing the author of the book "Hacking the X Box"
and thought that perhaps a short (10-15 minutes?) pre-recorded phone
interview with you about your NES PC would be a great companion piece
for a hardware modding theme. It could act as a good, free method of
promoting your site and product, and would be of great interest to our
listeners.

Let me know if you're interested, and we can arrange a good time to do the interview.

Cheers,
Jonathan
89.1 WIDR-FM

Awesome. Awesome.

So the interview

2003-10-12T17:00:00-07:00

So the interview at Verizon didn't happen because Steph was out of town. It'll be Wednesday, maybe, but time will tell about that stuff.

So last week I was reading the classifieds looking for work, and this one ad said something like "we're looking for people who want to goof off, have fun, and make money. We need product testers for toys" or something like that. So I was all excited and thinking it's a cool, "Tom Hanks in Big" type position. I called and asked about the position and was instructed to come in and fill out an application today. I went in, filled out this short app, and talked to the owner of the company for about 5 minutes. He didn't really describe what the company did at all, but asked me questions about leadership, inventory, and mentioned something about sales. From what I gather, he's looking for people to drive around town, visit these companies, and try to sell toys. I'm not sure how accurate that guess is, though.

At the end of the 5 or 10 minute interview, he said he wanted me to come in tomorrow at 9:00 and spend some time with one of the employees, see what the company does, and see if I'm interested in the position. And they'll see if they're interested in me. It's bizarre, but I didn't have anything planned tomorrow anyway. Might as well waste some time doing this, and if I'm not interested, no big thing, chicken wing.

Then on Wednesday I have the Verizon thing, and Mullens assures me it's mine if I want it. We'll see what this toy thing is all about before I decide about the Verizon thing. All things being equal, I'd rather not work for Mullens' sister. She's a cool girl and all, but honestly, I'd be taking the job until something better came along. I'd feel bad working for her for 3 months until I get a salaried position somewhere else.

Okay so let's

2003-10-14T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so let's recap the last couple of days.

Saturday was pretty much the nicest day in the history of the world. It was so awesome. In celebration of such a perfect day, I dug out my outdoor fireplace, raked, and burned the leaves and sticks outside. It smelled just like fall. Later, Fabish, Jenny, Angie, and Mullens came over and we started drinking beer, eating KFC, and bullshitting. Fun times. I ended up getting piss ass wasted and spent the entire day (yes, the entire day) Sunday hungover.

Monday was the weird application/interview thing, followed by heading out to my parents' house to help my dad rip apart a '67 Lemans. It was a lot of fun, actually. I got to hit things with hammers and crow bars and tear out plastic and windows and such. Good times.

Tuesday was my "tagalong" day which followed the weird application thing I had done on Monday. It was gay. Super gay and lame. Super retarded and fucked up. They sold stupid shit door to door. I had kind of guessed that it was a traveling salesman type position, but I had also figured that they set up appointments at businesses, sold this shit to them for wholesale and they'd put it on their shelves and sell it retail. No. That's not what it was. They'd go to these business and bars, pull out a bookbag, and start this sales pitch. I was embarassed for myself just standing next to them, and couldn't imagine doing it myself. I did feel bad though because on the drive home, which took about 2 hours, they asked me what I thought. I said "well, I don't think this is my thing." From then on, it was awkward silence when before we were talking about movies and music and such. Back at the office, I had the talk with the main manager guy who I told that I was less than not interested. He said something like "you're not interested in a job where you have fun walking around talking to people?" I said "Not really."

I'm not dumb. I overheard these conversations where cops were called because they were soliciting, stories about other employees of the company stealing sales, and whatever else. It seemed like a crock. Although the money wasn't terrible if you're okay with humiliating yourself.

Then today was my interview with Steph at Verizon. It went well. Not a whole lot to say about it, I guess. In half an hour, I have a phone interview which will eventually be played on the radio. Weird.

Employed. Finally.

2003-10-15T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm a working man again. At Verizon. Or, rather, the Digital Store. I'm going to do some sales stuff, and they're also going to train me on how to repair the phones and do some computer/networking stuff. It's definitely not the job I'd love to have, but it's $9/hour plus commission. It'll be good to have money again, and since I start on Monday that means I can party harty this weekend like someone who has money.

And maybe I'll also go buy some paint, since I want to paint a few rooms in my house but haven't because I've been broke. Yay for being employed.

Last night Mullens

2003-10-18T17:00:00-07:00

Last night Mullens had a small gathering around my fire place at his house. I had cheddar wurst and exactly 3 beers... 1 per hour and a half, keeping my promise to never, ever, ever get as drunk as I was last weekend. Never again. Anyway, it was fun times.

Today is my extremely productive day. I've already killed my lawn, or at least I think I'm done killing it. When I moved in, there wasn't much grass. It was all crab grass and Creeping Charlies. I thought I could kill the weeds without killing the grass, but I was wrong. Especially since Alan's dog has moved in and killed everything but the weeds. So today I sprayed Round Up over the entire yard, which means in 5 days it'll be ready for new seed. Hopefully next Spring I'll have a bright, shiny, new yard to play in.

I also spent some time redoing my office. It's now a "muted gold" (color name compliments of Jaimee) with deep red curtains and a sweet ass curtain rod. I'm in the process of a huge painting to fill the only empty wall, after which, I will have 1 room in my house which I will consider complete.

It's weird how I actually enjoy this stuff now. I always hated doing this crap when I was a kid, but I'm glad my dad showed me how so I can do it myself now that I'm all grown up.

Tomorrow is my first day of employment. Stephanie was at Mullens' cookout last night and she said that, despite what she said about me being part time on paper, I'd be starting full time with benefits. And that kicks ass. We also talked more about the cell phone repair and networking stuff, so hopefully I won't be a "sales rep" for long. I never saw myself as a sales rep. But I guess I never saw myself as a cell phone repairman either.

Well day 1

2003-10-19T17:00:00-07:00

Well, day 1 is done. Day 2 tomorrow.

Surprisingly, this Verizon thing is more of a "real job" than I expected it to be. Except for Mullens and 1 other guy, I'm the youngest guy at any of the Digital Stores in Peoria, East Peoria, Washington, and Pekin. I spent about 5 or 6 hours today going through this online training course learning all sorts of stuff about the plans they offer, cell phone service, future services, etc. Commission is more than I expected it to be. They're really starting to promote Dish Network sales, which is $40 per unit commission. That plus my hourly wage means I'll be making pretty good money, actually.

Everybody seems really nice and cool and friendly and all that. Even though I didn't sell any phones today, a guy gave me a sale just because I was looking over his shoulder and figuring out how to do everything he was doing. Easy money.

The coolest part of the day was when a delivery truck pulled up in front of the store, then proceeded to explode into a huge ball of flames. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but the truck did catch on fire. Flames were not only rising out of the hook up to the top of the cab, but flames were also dripping down, out of the bottom of the truck and rolling towards the back. Within 2 or 3 minutes, a fire truck had gotten there and put it out. It took them another half hour to get the hood open since the flames had sort of welded it shut. It was quite a sight to see.

I'm tired. Yesterday was crazy productive and including spraying RoundUp, raking, cleaning, mopping, painting on canvas and on walls, moving, organizing, and eating Domino's Pizza. It was a good day.

fucking whoa.

2003-10-20T17:00:00-07:00

fucking whoa.

So my third

2003-10-22T17:00:00-07:00

So, my third day at the store and I'm becoming more confident with a bunch of issues. It's a good job. I don't hate it. If I get more ambitious, I'm sure I can make a ton of cash doing it. Even being a fumbling new guy who doesn't know a whole lot, I got nearly $40 in commission today on top of my hourly. And that was a slow day in between watching 2 movies on HBO. Around Christmas I hear the slow days bring in $200 commission. Busy days, it's not uncommon to see $600 commission. That's good fundage.

So the money is good. The people are cool as hell. I get health insurance. It'll be a great job to have until I get my dream job, but honestly, once I get used to it, it may take a lot to get me away from making a lot of money while watching HBO and Cinemax. The only thing is the respect factor... working retail gets people no respect in my opinion. Working at Iona seemed interesting and professional. While it's possible I can make more doing the cell phone thing, it also seems like people will feel sorry for me if I tell them what I do. Ah well. No need to worry about such things on my 3rd day when I don't plan on being there for even a year.

I guess the point is that I like the job and I'll like it more when I know exactly what's happening there. It's not nearly as bad as I thought working a shit job would be, and I appreciate what Mullens did for me more every time I go to work.

Plus Jaimee is coming back. Everything's comin' up Wasson.

Note to self:

2003-10-24T17:00:00-07:00

Note to self: It's a really terrible idea to eat an entire cheesecake by yourself just because a couple people say there's no way you can do it. If you do choose to accept such a challenge, expect to find yourself sick to the stomach for several hours following the cheesecake consumption. This sick feeling will subside when you wake up in the middle of the night, stumble to the bathroom, and proceed to vomit your guts out in the most disgusting way you can ever possibly imagine. Ever.

In celebration of

2003-10-29T17:00:00-07:00

In celebration of the perfect day today (can I get an agreement from the locals?), I did a shitload of yard work, including raking up the leaves I'd let sit on my lawn, keeping the moisture in to help spawn the growth of my new grass. I raked it up, and what did I see? New grass, baby. Not a lot. Little blades here and there. Not at all even or smooth or consistent, but definitely more grass than I had before.

It's good to make new life.

I missed the 3rd anniversary of this here LJ. And with the 3rd anniversary, I'd like to share with you a story of me, an illustration position, and how this LJ both ruined it and saved my whole life at the same time.

So I posted a lot about this company and how I had 3 interviews and made it to the final selection out of 80 candidates, and I was all excited to get a job in my field and make good money again. Well, in a bizarre twist of fate, the company found this LJ, and although I didn't post anything sensitive, decided to not hire me. At first I was devastated. Completely crushed. I had made it... out of 80 candidates, I was 1 of 3 that was good enough to get onboard. And something so silly and innocent had ruined it, and it was my fault.

In the days and weeks that followed, I decided it was the best thing to ever happen to me. Completely a blessing in disguise. I've never felt like God helped me out as much as He helped me out of that potential horrible situation. They were corporate Nazis. I met a guy who knew a bunch of people who worked there, and they were all miserable and wanted to leave, but were stuck because of no-compete and non-disclosure statements. They kept their employees by keeping them scared, not keeping them happy. They used business practices which were a bit shady. People came out of the woodwork to tell me how horrible it is to work for that company. They have talented people and make good shit, but I wouldn't want to work there. And I'm glad I'm not.

So there's the whole story about how LJ contributed to the best and worst thing to happen to my career this year. I ended up never being sued, although it was a threat for a while. The end.

I haven't been

2003-10-31T17:00:00-07:00

I haven't been sleeping much or sleeping well lately. Lots of stuff on my mind and lots of stuff to deal with, I guess. As a result, I've been groggy and disconnected and tired almost all the time. I just want 1 good night's sleep. I'm up to 3 or 4 hours now, up from the 1 or 2 hours from earlier this week.

Last night I had about 15 trick or treaters, including my nephew Jack, AKA, the cutest kid in the world. Jenny brought pirated copies of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Cabin Fever, so we watched those and I struggled to keep my eyes open while Cabin Fever ended. That movie was lame. Then I ditched the brothers Polk and Neo in favor of my bed. And that was my night. It hardly felt like Halloween.

So my exhaust

2003-11-02T17:00:00-07:00

So, my exhaust leak needs a-fixin', and today I took the Jeep to a friend of my dad's to get some bolts cut off, since they're so old and rusty and virtually welded to the car frame. When the Jeep was up on the rack, he informed me that at some point before I owned the car (probably at the lot I bought 'er from), they installed a 94 Cavalier muffler on it. Backwards. With a tailpipe 3/4" too small. Which probably contributed to the exhaust leak in the first place. $78 later, I got my muffler and tailpipe, and will fix that and the manifold on Wednesday.

I spent the remainder of my day off painting my old upstairs storage area which will soon be Jaimee's office/reading nook after a few coats of paint and some pretty curtains or something.

Exciting news on the job front, but I've learned my lesson and won't be posting about it until I know it's a sure thing. So there.

You Peoria locals can see me in last Saturday's paper. I look stunning in the picture, if I do say so myself. Stunning.

My Jeep is

2003-11-05T17:00:00-07:00

My Jeep is quiet like a Cadillac now.

Yesterday my dad and I spent around 6 hours outside in 37 degree weather with no gloves on holding bare, cold metal. There was a lot of laying on my back, reaching into the guts of my poor Wrangler and trying to avoid the chips of metal and paint that fell on my face. Add to that it was freezing as shit, and you had an uphappy camper or 2. We ran out of daylight, heat, motivation, time, and patience, and ended up sending the 'ole girl to a muffler shop to have them finish the job. It was done as of this morning, and she's quieter than she ever was. Don't get me started on the catalytic converter, though. I'll never stop.

Last night was Hoops night with Alan, Jenny, and, unfortunately, Fuller. He sat there being annoying to me constantly. Then Alan invited him back to my place, so I went to bed early to avoid him. Fun times. Or not.

This morning I took Bryan J. out to breakfast, then went to pick up my car, then came to work and have been here, bored as shit, ever since. I love myjob when I'm at Grand Prarie watching a 42" plasma TV while making money, but hate it when I'm at a mall kiosk sitting on a hard stool for the exact same amount. Funny how that works.

Digital Store this

2003-11-06T17:00:00-07:00

"Digital Store, this is Tim. How can I help you?"
"Yeah, is this US Cellular?"
"No, Verizon."
"Oh. What about US Cellular?"
"What ABOUT US Cellular?"
"You're not them?"
"No. Verizon."
"What's the phone number for US Cellular?"
"I haven't the foggiest idea."
"Aren't they right there?"
"No. They're upstairs."
"Can you go see?"
"No. I'm with a customer."
"Well, they're not in the phone book..."
"I can't help ya. We're Verizon. Not US Cellular."
*click*

(10 seconds later)

"Digital Store, this is Tim. How can I help you?"
"Can you at least tell me when they close?"
"I haven't a clue. We're not them."
*click*

Thus endeth the most annoying phone calls. Ever.

here's a rant

2003-11-07T17:00:00-07:00

here's a rant for ya.

"Seeing Red...Dots:
This is a bit off the beaten path for our tech page, but I think it fits as many of us see the impacts of digital piracy every day.

As I mentioned before, I sat in the theater on Sunday watching a flick by the name of Kill Bill. I kept seeing something going on during the movie that obviously was not supposed to be part of my viewing experience, or was it? There were red and brown dots flashing at seemingly random moments in the film. It turns out they are far from random and apparently Miramax thinks my distractions during the movie are worth their antipiracy agenda. Roger Ebert refers to this form of Cap Code, as "Crap Code". A projectionist brought forth this in a recent column.

Well, something new and horrible has been introduced on some studios' prints. Sort of a giant picture-marring version of Cap Code dots: Very large reddish brown spots that flash in the middle of the picture, usually placed in a light area. They flash in various patterns throughout a given reel while other reels of the same film may have none at all.

A Kodak spokesman who helped devise the original Cap Code says this is not the work of his company but theorizes that it may be intended to be more visible on the murky compressed copies that get posted to the Internet where the original, very subtle Cap Code may be difficult to discern.

I don't go to the cinema that much, so when I do it is usually because I want to enjoy the impact of the big-screen. It is a damn shame that the MPAA feels as though they can piss all over my in-theater movie experience because tons of industry insiders rip them off steadily. Hey, I got an idea, why don't they just make the sound pop and hiss throughout the movie too. That will throw the pirates right off.

I would tell you to run right out and drop $7 on Kill Bill, but you know what, I say save your $7 in protest of this Crap Code. The movie was so great with Crap Code that the first thing I asked my wife when we left the cinema was, "Did you keep seeing those spots? Something must have been borked."

In an attempt to share with you an email address that we would be able to use to contact Miramax and share our thoughts with, I found little information available to me. After about an hour on the phone and blindly dialing made up extension numbers, I finally got a live person on the phone in their business and legal department. Then I finally got to a general receptionist and asked her how did I lodge a complaint with Miramax about the Cap Code in Kill Bill.

SURPRISE! Miramax has neither an email address nor phone numbers for such concerns. I was told I could be given a general fax number, but of course they could not promise that those "could be forwarded along." So it seems that Miramax does not want to hear from me, you, or any of their customers that give them their hard earned money. And somewhere on a personal level, I feel as though I just got screwed out of an experience that I had been waiting to really enjoy. Quentin ought to be pissed that Miramax turned his move into a Crap Code experience, I know I am."

Okay. Even in Peoria, at a kinda-sorta nice-ish theater, it costs nearly $8 to get in. For that $8, I get to sit through 6 or 7 commercials, 3 or for trailers, and 1 or 2 movie theater promos. That's 15 or 20 minutes of pure advertising I've just paid $8 to watch.

Now the movie. I get to suffer through cell phone calls, screaming brat fuck kids, sticky floors, uncomfortable seats, the inability to pause it for piss breaks, and I get to pay $8 for all that. And now, the crap code, which inserts random dots on the prints to further distract and annoy me.

Which means, basically, that going to the movie theater can suck my nuts off. This shit just pisses me off. They're so worried about people stealing movies and so unwilling to give people a legal option that they'll further piss off their paying customers for a bit of protection.

The funny part? These movies are still being pirated, then cleaned up before being distributed online. It seems like the music and movie industry is trying their absolute damndest push customers away, piss them off, and encourage them to steal what they produce.

Instead, give us a legal option. I'd rather pay $5 to download a movie safely and legally then over KaZaa. $5 is a fair price, and then movie theaters wouldn't have the overhead of building costs, electricity, and everything else now. These corporations are clinging to business plans that simply don't work anymore, and they're refusing to adapt.

If they're going to spend 15 minutes of my time making me sit through ads, they better make it less than $8 for me to do it. And once the movie starts, they best not annoy me with red dots everywhere. Fuck the movie theaters.

I love being

2003-11-11T17:00:00-07:00

I love being a homeowner. I love making the house a nicer place to live. I love getting dirty, walking to avoid new, growing grass, fertilizing, painting, getting paint on my hants and shirt. I love having a gas powered leaf blower that probably annoys my neighbors but makes raking much, much easier.

I love having money again. I love being able to pay bills. I love being able to eat when I'm hungry. I love being able to put more than $2 worth of gas in my car at any given time.

I love my friends. I love how they used to pay for my food and drinks just to hang out with me, and I love that they don't have to do that anymore. I love that they live close enough to just drop by and say hi. I love that they stop by my work and talk to me when I'm bored, and have enough sense to leave when I'm busy.

I love that Jaimee is coming back to Peoria. I love knowing she'll love her new office, even though it's a surprise. I love knowing that there will be someone else in the house who isn't Alan.

I love my dog and the way she eats Lemonheads.

I love Diet Dr. Pepper.

I hate Alan's dog.

I was walking

2003-11-14T17:00:00-07:00

I was walking to Polk and Schwa about an Inspector Gadget toy I remembered as a kid. Well, I found it on eBay a few days back when the bidding was at like $4. I was all prepared to spend upwards of $30 to get it. However, I cannot justify spending more than $50, which is what the auction is at now.

Such is life. I'll keep my eyes open and try to get one out of the box or something. I want my toy!

Been a busy

2003-11-21T17:00:00-07:00

Been a busy week for yours truly, filled with lots of working, mostly. For the most part, these have been uneventful days, except for fighting off a bad case of stomach cancer (don't worry, it was only temporary), and a psycho after my girlfriend's heart.

I would like to mention a night out on the town followed by being pulled over by some cop hoping to give me a DUI or something. It was Thursday night and once again I was playing designated driver once again to a few of my peeps. Okay, I was playing driver to Mullens. We ended up down at Jimmy's at around 12:30. Fuller was there. Which meant, of course, that I didn't stay too long. At around 1, I decided to make my exit. After pulling out of Jimmy's I made it roughly 4 feet before I saw the sirens pulling me over.

My car was like a ticking time bomb with those old ass plates and the old ass registration. I had gotten the new plates, sure, but I think they're ugly and haven't put them on. And yeah, my car is registered with the state of Illinois because I am a good, responsible car owner. The fuckin' piggy pulls me over and asks for my license, registration, and insurance card. Long story short, I could only produce my license.

He goes back to his car, types in his little fucking computer and sees my car is registered. So, he gives me a ticket for not displaying said registration. Like a dick. I paid my $80, god damn it, and now I pay $75 more because I didn't display my receipt properly? Fuck the po-lice.

And not only that... my lack of insurance card also earned me a $750 ticket (yikes), and a mandatory court appearance. My complete disregard of changing the address on my license earned me a warning. So I guess he wasn't as big a dick as he could have been, but he could have let me off with a warning being's how I was registered, insured, not speeding, not drunk, and haven't had a ticket in like 4 years.

Anyhoo, that was the downside of my post-less days, I guess. The $750 will be striken from the 'ole record books once I can show the court proof that I am, in fact, insured, but I'm most definitely stuck with paying the $75 ticket for registration. Not the end of the world, but it does hurt the 'ole pocket book, especially considering I'm not the most well off I've ever been, financially speaking.

The holiday season is earning my fat commission. It's nice. My credit card bills thank the loyal cell phone subscribers.

I'm hungry.

the end.

For those of

2003-11-25T17:00:00-07:00

For those of you disappointed by the lack of sharers and the abundance of renamed files on KaZaa, I give you the best online resource for downloading cool shit ever. Now I just need a DVD burner.

It was a

2003-11-29T17:00:00-07:00

It was a good weekend filled with too much drinkin'.

Wednesday was Hoops night, as per usual. It was a small crowd. Me, Mullens, Anna, and Angie. I ate too much pizza and drank some beers. Good times.

Thursday was Turkey Day, of course. I headed down to Woodhull to spend the day with my mom's side of the family. I ate too much turkey and ham, and tried to eat around the bugs that were crawling on my pumpkin pie. Ew. My mom's side of the family aren't a classy bunch.

After a shitty lunch, I headed back to P-town and met up with Wolford. By "met up", I mean he came to my house. He, Alan, and I tried to go to Hooters, which was closed for the holiday or some such nonsense. Hoops is always open though, so I hit up Hoops for the 2nd time in 2 days, where they promptly burnt my calzone and made me a new one for free, despite the fact that I had eaten the entire burnt one before they got my new one to me. I shared it with Wolford because I'm such a nice guy.

Friday I worked, made fat commission, and stayed late, meeting the brothers Polk, Brandon, Wolford, and Craigomatic at Donnelly's. Since it was President's birthday celebration, we headed downtown to Sullivan's, where it was less crowded than I expected it to be. Later in the evening, Schwa, Princess, Adam, and shit tons of people from high school showed up. It was like a mini high school reunion. The difference being that I wasn't wearing a name tag and, hence, no one remembered who the fuck I was. Having Mullens there made it worse, since everyone remembered him, he remembered everyone, and everyone looked at me like "I know I should remember you but I haven't the foggiest idea who you are". But such is life, and I find myself relatively unaffected by the lack of hellos I got that night.

I left early since I had to work on Saturdays, and since I haven't been working out as per usual, and have been all groggy and stupid feeling as of late. I missed Big Al's, but my night was complete after seeing Pres puke at Sullivan's.

Saturday was spent with my dog watching TV, and it was good.

Today I worked. Freddy vs. Jason has been successfully downloaded and I just made the trek back from Wal Mart with my new $30 DVD player so I can actually watch it on my TV. I got the last $30 player, which made my day complete.

I have the next 2 days off. It'll be awesome. AWESOME.

Tomorrow I re-start my diet and excercise schedule. Hardcore, baby. Hardcore.

Crap. I think

2003-12-01T17:00:00-07:00

Crap. I think it may be time for a new computer.

You can do

2003-12-01T17:00:00-07:00

You can do anything at zombocom. The only limit is yourself.

My computer has

2003-12-03T17:00:00-07:00

My computer has been cleaned and is running cooler, crashing less, and probably won't need replacing. But it's still really loud. Such is life.

A bunch of people I either don't know or don't like are at my house right now. I hate it.

I got a new phone for Jaimee today. I'm jealous of it and want to steal it, but I'm holding off for my Samsung 670, with a camera, flash, and photo caller ID on the outside. I do so love my gadgets.

End of an era....

2003-12-06T17:00:00-07:00

So, Mullens and I have been discussing this a lot lately, and I haven't launched into a big LJ rant about life for a while, so here goes.

My life has been divided into a series of eras. And with the exception of 1 era, I've loved every bit of them and, despite my terrible memory, have great memories from each that I'll have for the rest of my life.

Era 1, age 0-15: Fabish was my best friend and lived a few houses down from me. We both hated our sisters, pestered them, and tried our damndest to never, ever, ever be home. We'd play in the creek, play in the woods, climb trees, and in the winter, build snow forts and dare each other to walk out on a frozen lake. Good times. The end of this era was when, of course, I got my driver's license.

Era 2, age 16-18: The freedom of my new '83 Buick Skylark was just too much for me to handle. Fabish and I were still good friends, but the car allowed me to kind of branch out and hang out with all sorts of people I didn't normally hang out with. I started spending more time with Mullens, hanging out with different groups of people every night. Again, the goal of this era was to stay out of my own house and never just spend a night at home with my parents.

Era 3, age 19-20: Otherwise known as the drinkin' years. I was living in Chicago and hating it most of the time. About one weekend a month I'd hop into my '86 Buick Century and head home to live it up. Everyone was in college, and everyone was all about parties, drinking, staying up until 4 am, sleeping 3 hours, then going out to breakfast somewhere. Great times, man. The parties at Brice's place rivaled any other party I've ever been to in terms of good, fucking awesome fun with lots of stories to tell the next day.

I look back at these times and it's so weird to me now. I know it was only 4 years ago, but it seems like forever ago. I can't even imagine going to a dorm room crowded with 15 people and 30 bottles of liquer anymore, but back then, I couldn't imagine anything better.

It was also during these years that it took me 10 or 12 beers before I started to feel even a little drunk, due to the constant drinkin' that raised my tolerance to unhealthy levels.

Era 4, age 21-24: More drinkin' and boozin'. Everyone I used to go to parties with turned 21, so we stopped going to the parties and started going to the bars. While living on Underhill, I'd get completely wrecked out of my brain and stumble home on foot, and do the same thing the next night. Bartenders started recognizing me and knowing what I drank.

Somewhere along the line, and I'm not sure where it happened, getting drunk stopped being fun to me. Nowadays, I much prefer going out with a small group of friends, milking a drink for as long as possible, and just bullshitting and catching up.

Era 5, age 24-???: Jaimee is moving in with me on Tuesday. And since Mullens and I have been together for all of our different eras, we've been discussing the change that we're seeing, and the change that is inevitable.

Angie started dating Dave pretty seriously and virtually disappeared. Mullens is spending more time with Anna than he has before, and we're all seeing marriage as not just some distant thing in the future, but actually fairly soon in the grand scheme of everything. We're realizing that, while our friends are still fantastic and we love 'em and would do anything for 'em, they can't always be first.

Other changes... I don't hate spending time with my family anymore. I used to. I don't know why. Now I love seeing Sarah and Robert and Jack and Mom and Dad. I love talking to them like they're actually people and not just relatives... a relationship I've never really had with people I'm related to.

And sure, I still like beer, and I still like bars, and I still like large gatherings of people. But I don't like them every day anymore. I told Mullens that it's only a matter of time before our trips to the bar are going to be all about catching up because we haven't seen each other in more than a week. We've seen it happen to Fabish, and in the course of a year, I've gone from thinking he's a chump to being jealous of what he has.

Maybe these will be the settling down years, or the stabalizing years. I don't know, but I do know that one era is definitely coming to and end. And I'm not sad or wishing it would stay, I'm looking forward to what's next. Sure, I miss playing in the creek with Fabish and not having a worry in the world. And I wouldn't mind going back for an hour or 2, but for the most part, I'm done. And when I'm eating breakfast at IHOP and see a table full of 20 year olds who obviously spent the night drinking, yelling, and singing, I'll be a bit jealous and look back with fondness on the years I spent doing the same thing, but I don't think I'll have any desire to do it again.

Does this make me and my life boring? I hope not. I'm still all about Hoops and Wednesdays for half off everything and Friday night with my boyz at Donnelly's or Kouri's or wherever we choose to go. I'm just picturing that scene in Old School where Will Ferrel is telling the frat boys that he can't drink because he's got a big day of home improvements to prepare for. I guess my idea of a good time is shifting again, or possibly, has already shifted.

My priorities are changing, which is scary and good at the same time. I wouldn't have it any other way. I think my life is headed for great things.

Jaimee comes home

2003-12-08T17:00:00-07:00

Jaimee comes home today, and I have a whole lot to do to get ready for it.

Jaimee's flight has

2003-12-08T17:00:00-07:00

Jaimee's flight has been delayed, and I'm either finished cleaning or don't feel like doing it anymore. I can't figure out which. Either way, I think I'm done. Just about 7 more hours to kill now.

It's mine all

2003-12-12T17:00:00-07:00

It's mine, all mine!

Good times in the last few days. Jaimee is back, of course, and we're both adjusting pretty well to living life together. Hopefully I'll get a tad more clean and organized and she'll get a tad less anal about it when there's shoes on the kitchen table or something. Adjusting to life with Alan and his retarded dog will take a bit more effort on both our parts, however.

Speaking of Alan's dog, I'd like to take a time out to mention how fucking much I hate this dog. I hate it with a passion hotter than a thousand suns. People may think I'm blowing it out of proportion how god awful this dog is, but I don't think I am. It's just awful in ways people can't even begin to appreciate without actually living with the dog. Jaimee is even a bigger dog lover than I am and her patience with that foul beast is wearing thin. I'm glad that it's not just me but feel bad that someone else has to deal with it. I honestly have murderous thoughts about this dog and have seriously contemplated mixing cyanide with it's food. I hate that dog. Not to get off track with this post or anything...

So, since Jaimee's return, we've been to Hoops, Donnelly's, both Wal-Marts (we should head to East Peoria to hit #3), Steak 'n Shake, and a few other greater Peoria establishments.

Work and commissions have been a bit slow this month. Work right now is crazy slow and I'm crazy bored. I'm hoping to get off early to get to Fabish's welcome home party to greet him after a couple months in Seattle. Mullens is trying to pull some strings to see that happen.

I'm just trying to place in the top 6 salesman for the last 2 months to win a good prize at the Christmas party, which takes place in January sometime. That shouldn't be too much of an issue, but we'll see.

I'm hungry. I'm bored.

I'm so excited about Inspector Gadget I could explode.

I'm a jerk

2003-12-14T17:00:00-07:00

I'm a jerk for trying to sell a refurbished phone as new. I have my 2nd place in holiday points to maintain though, damn it! That's how I justify it.

The world is good. Jobs are opening up all over the place, and some of them look like I'm qualified for them. Salary, here I come! Someday.

The world is

2003-12-17T17:00:00-07:00

The world is lovely.

My court date was yesterday. I was called up more or less on time and went to the lawyer/judge/whatever guy to plead my case. It went sort of like this:

"So, you have a ticket for no insurance and not displaying your registration. Do you have proof of insurance?"
"Yeah, right here. But I don't have an excuse for not displaying the registration, so I'll just go ahead and plead guilty and pay that one."
"But your car is registered?"
"Yeah."
"Do you have proof?"
"Yeah, right here."
"Okay. I'm gonna go ahead and let you off for both charges. Here's your license. Take it easy."

Nice. It restored my faith in the legal system. I came out and found a parking ticket on my car, but all I could think was "Well, I suppose that's fair."

It snowed again, and I sure do love the snow. Christmas shopping is done, and yet I still have a bit of extra money to pay off a chunk of my credit card bills. The world is lovely!

I sure do

2003-12-26T17:00:00-07:00

I sure do love Christmas. I haven't updated for a while, so here's a long and totally random update on what you've missed since I've been gone.

Jaimee and I hit up Schwa's going away party, which was fun. Schwa is a good kid, and he'll be greatly missed, I'm sure. Friday nights at Kouri's and/or Donnelly's won't be the same without him.

Other random funness included Fabish's welcome home party, his welcome home Chinese Buffet visit, and a couple dinners with the fam.

I've been fighting off a cold for the past few days and not really doing a very good job of it, to be quite honest. I've had a stuffy nose and stuffy head, along with a sore throat, which is definitely the worst symptom of sickness to have.

Christmas festivities were fun as ever. The eve was spent driving a few thousand miles to Jaimee's family's place, where much food was consumed and many presents opened. The highlight of the night was when I got Bottle Rocket, Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrells, hole saws, files, and needle nose pliers. Jaimee's family is pretty good at getting presents and even better at fun, after dinner events, like the dice game.

Christmas Day was a bit odd for me, since it was the first Christmas I'd ever spent without my sister there, and my first Christmas in 7 or 8 years without Robert. They were off celebrating in Hawaii, so they weren't there to witness me opening up my table saw, antique mail box, tin full of fudge. Jaimee got some stuff too, but none of it as good as a table saw.

Jaimee's gift to me was pretty much the awesomest present ever... a home-brewery kit to make my own beers. Wolford says that's like "giving a crack addict crack", but I think it's more like "giving a meth addict a meth lab". I got her the Indiana Jones Boxed Set after she ruined the present I almost bought for her.

Christmas night was spent at Hoops for the 2nd year in a row with Jaimee and Wolford and some strangers.

My plan of putting all my commission towards my credit card bills isn't exactly working out the way I had planned. The strain that Christmas put on my wallet made sure of that. Now that the holidays are over, the plan should go back into effect.

T3 is a good movie.

Tonight is Jessica's birthday party celebration.

New Years will be at our house this year.

I love the world.

Happy New Year

2003-12-31T17:00:00-07:00

Happy New Year, all.

Mine was a good one. We had a party. A small one compared to the ones I used to throw in my prime, but it was fun nonetheless. I got a bit loopy early on, but stopped drinking near midnight so I wouldn't be all hungover today at work, where I'm at now.

The funniest part of the night was easily a completely drunk and belligerent Mullens, screaming about Jews and Jesus and Nazis and Communists before stumbling outside and puking his guts out. Wolford and I stood back, watching and laughing.

And now I'm at work. I have been for nearly 2 hours. Not even 1 person has walked into the store, and I've seen about 2 walk by. I'm going to lock up to grab some lunch soon.

I'm missing movie day and I'm fucking pissed. Fuck Verizon.

I forgot to

2004-01-01T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to mention my resolutions this year.

First off, I want to finish my fucking diet. I lost nearly 70 pounds, then gained some back, and stopped exercising. I've already re-started jogging and working out. I want to become more consistent, drop the weight I've gained back, plus drop a few more pounds after that. I've come so far and don't have much further to go as far as my waistline is concerned, and this is the year I finish 'er up.

Second off, I want to get a real job. A salary. A consistent schedule. I want to feel like they pay me enough to do my job, and I don't want to work in retail anymore.

Third, pay off my credit cards. I went from just over $6K down to just under $4K. This is the year I really focus on getting that shit taken care of. Next week I should be able to knock another $500 or so off that, which will be a good start to finishing off this debt.

Fourth, get back on The Screen Savers. That was a fun, free trip.

Fifth, start a side career that makes me a bit of extra money. I do that already, sort of, with random murals and portraits, as well as selling parts of junkmachine. I want some area of my side projects to take off and start making myself some extra money. That should help with resolution #3, as well.

Eat more vegetables.

Other than that, life is grand and I've never been happier. Except for yesterday when I was tired and cranky and didn't get to eat pizza.

So I called

2004-01-06T17:00:00-07:00

So I called Alan the other night regarding the dog situation. He got testy relatively quick when I asked him to come home and clean up the dog shit instead of staying wherever he planned on staying that night. I figured it wouldn't be the best time to mention that his dog needs to go when he's already angry about the shit situation. I didn't want the whole ordeal to turn into a yelling match where everyone walks away angry, so I just hung up.

Yesterday I called again after not ever being able to see the kid face-to-face, since it seems that he's avoiding me, and the house, on purpose lately. The phone rang, but I got his voicemail. I left a message saying he needs to call me back about the living situation and about the dog situation, but no phone call came.

Instead, I took the chicken's way out and left a note. It was pretty long, explaining that it was unhealthy to leave the dog in the kennel in the basement in this weather, but when it was out, all it did was shit, piss, fight with Winnie, break stuff, drool, fart, and be a general nuisance. I explained that if the dog wasn't gone by the 15th, then I would take it to the humane society. Also, starting the 15th, Alan's rent would be weekly and more expensive than before to pursuade him to start looking for his own place to live.

I woke up this morning to a short but sweet note saying Alan and his dog would be out by Saturday. I just hope there's no bad blood between anyone. I still like Alan, and I still think he's a good guy. I think he's not a great roommate and I think he's a terrible dog owner, but I still like him. I just hope he doesn't see me as a heartless, cruel human being for the dog situation over the past 4 or 5 months, or how I kind of kicked him out now.

But the good news is that Jaimee and I are living alone together finally. Well, starting on Saturday. And we'll have a guest bedroom for anyone who wants to spend the night. Except for Wolford, who is unwelcome.

I'd like to

2004-01-07T17:00:00-07:00

I'd like to tell a story about Seanbaby.

Years ago, I maintained a website about a stupid movie that got too popular for it's own good. It was published in a few magazines and yadda yadda yadda, really popular. A little brat named Seanbaby emailed me begging for a link from my hugely popular site to his shithead retard site. I told him no, because I was totally too cool to link to his site. I was 16 or 17 at the time.

Fast forward a few years (7, actually), and there's Seanbaby on MTV presenting garbage about video games or some such thing. Ever since I saw his retarded, ugly, mohawked face on TV I've been pissed off about him.

I always saw myself as a guy like him. A guy who did his own thing but became hugely successful and popular because of it. Sure, I had some success with the Army of Darkness site, and even more success with the God damn Nintendo computer. It was a start, but where's the fame and glory I always saw myself having when growing up? And why am I now striving for an 8-5 job at a huge corporation for okay money doing something I CAN do, but don't really WANT to do?

Fucking Seanbaby.

I guess I'll just keep on keeping on, hoping to get re-published in some magazines and hoping to get back on TV again, and hoping one of my little projects gets me on MTV preseting something.

What weird timing.

2004-01-07T17:00:00-07:00

What weird timing. I just finished typing that last entry when one of my mom's friends spotted me at my shitty kiosk here in the mall. She walked up and asked me why I was selling phones when she always thought I was going to be a famous artist. Nice to hear I guess, but also frustrating because... well... I'm not one.

Fucking Seanbaby.

Thanks to for

2004-01-09T17:00:00-07:00

Thanks to for sending his parents in to buy cell phones, making this 1 good commission filled day for yours truly. 6 lines so far. Not too shabby for a day's work.

Someone, try going here to see if you can see my camera phone pics.

More people need to have camera phones. They sweet, baby.

This article makes

2004-01-12T17:00:00-07:00

This article makes me want to take acid.

You know it's

2004-01-14T17:00:00-07:00

You know, it's amazing how short days are when you work 8 hours every day. Simply fascinating. There's never, ever, ever enough time to get everything done that you want to get done. I've been trying for over a week to get stuff up on eBay but never seem to have the time or motivation to do it. That plus a lot of other small tasks that just keep adding up and not getting done.

But, on the plus side, this working out thing seems to have started taking effect. I'm more awake and alert during the day, with the exception of this morning when I was slightly hungover and headachy from last night's Christmas party.

But tonight is the night. I'm skipping the half hour work out in lieu of more productive activities, like updating a few websites for my dad, emailing people about job prospects, and, of course, working on my Optimus Prime computer.

Freddy vs. Jason is out on DVD. Everyone should go buy it since it's one of the best movies ever made.

I'm thirsty.

I hate working in the mall.

It was 49

2004-01-21T17:00:00-07:00

It was 49 degrees in the building when I got to work today. That's way too cold if you ask me, which you didn't. It's been rising steadily since the repairman left, and it's now 62. But it feels way colder than that.

I cut open my face yesterday shaving. Like a rookie. I've been doing it for years without incident, and yesterday I cut a huge chunk out. It's healing nicely, but looks ugly until then.

I'm broke.

The working out schedule has been going great since January first, skipping only 3 or 4 workout days since then. I'm definitely more awake and energetic during the day, with a very definite crash when I go from nice and awake to needing sleep desperately. I like that feeling. The working out is definitely having an effect on my mood, my schedule, my body, and my energy. It also makes me hungry all the time. I've already eaten a lot today and my poor belly is rumbling.

I have the next few days off. Tomorrow I want to hit the Civic Center for the sale for poor people like me. I'd also like to hit Kouri's or Donnelly's with the boyz, since it's been a while since we've done that. Polk, Neo, you into that? Gimme a ring... I have all day off tomorrow. 360-9027, but you probably knew that.

I've got bills

2004-01-22T17:00:00-07:00

I've got bills to pay and money to pay them with, which means the world is good today.

Big plans for my day off today. I'm going to wash Jeepy, pay some bills, work on Optimus Prime, and pick Jaimee up at 5 to go to the poor people sale downtown. That's a sale for poor people, not a sale where they sell poor people. Just to clarify.

Since I just spent an hour of my day lifting weights and working on my elliptical machine, I'd like to express my contempt for gastric bypass surgery. And liposuction, while I'm at it. Man, I fucking hate those surgeries like fat people hate exercise.

Everywhere I look, I see celebrities get gastric bypass (that American Idol judge being the most recent, but also Carnie Wilson and Al Roker), and everyone puts them on magazine covers and says how great it is. Why? Why is it great? Because they're rich enough to be able to afford an uneccessary and unhealthy surgery to lose some weight they gained by being lazy?

I can say that without much guilt because I, myself, gained a bunch of weight by being lazy. But when it was time to lose it, I took over a year out of my life and consistently ate better and exercised. I came out of it 70 pounds lighter and 300% healthier. Starving myself wouldn't have produced the same results, and that's all that gastric bypass is about.

It's great that magazines and newspapers and everything else are showing weight loss success stories to get people into the gym and into a more healthy lifestyle, but I wish they would stop making it seem like surgery or the Atkins diet are the only ways to do it. EAT LESS. EXERCISE MORE. That's all you have to do to lose weight.

I also don't mind fat people who don't mind being fat. That's fine. You should be happy in your own skin and happy about your body. But if you're not happy with your body, you should take the steps yourself to become happy. Liposuction and gastric bypass are an overkill, and it's the lazy man's way out of a lazy man's problem. Instead of buying a surgery, maybe you'd be better off buying a treadmill.

So my eBay

2004-01-26T17:00:00-07:00

So, my eBay auctions all ended today and I made just enough money with them to cover my heating bills for the month. Just over $200. I've still got quite a few things to sell, thankfully, so maybe I'll have some eBay money to burn instead of just to put towards practical things.

Life barrells on. Sales are slow, income is low. I'm just glad I had a few good months while supporting the family, but I'm sad I'll be of less help now that I've had several days in a row of 0 sales.

I'd like to mention my awesome purchase at the poor people sale. 76,000 games built into 1 controller. Sure, I was conned into it by the salesman saying it contained every Nintendo game ever (it doesn't), and sure, it actually has about 150 games with shitloads of repeats, but it's still pretty cool. Nevermind the fact that I paid twice what it sells for online. But it's still cool.

Tomorrow I clean up the basement, find more stuff to sell, and make more money off Wendy on eBay. Awesome.

After a horrible

2004-01-31T17:00:00-07:00

After a horrible January, sales for February are already grand.

It's been a really cold few days, and yesterday was when it really seemed the coldest. Jaimee and I woke up to a house that was around 48 degrees, a little colder than we usually keep it while we're sleeping. We turned the heat on, but no heat was to be found. One of our pipes was frozen and there was water all over the floor in the basement. It wasn't a good way to start the morning.

First, we checked the water leakage problem and found it to be unrelated to both the frozen pipe and the heat problem. Next it was time to tackle the old furnace.

After removing a few covers and watching it for a few cycles, I had the problem narrowed down to the fan motor. At that point I ripped out the phone book and started down the huge list of heating and cooling places, starting with the full page ads, getting quotes on how much it was to replace it. The standard was around $100 to just come out and diagnose the problem, then around $75-100 per hour, plus cost of parts. It was a lot.

I then started going to the lesser-quality ads in the book only to find most of them closed on Saturdays. Then I saw the ad for Earl's Heating and Cooling, glowing, calling to me, whispering "moderately priced.... moderately priced...." I called them up and the Great Earl himself answered with a "YYYEEEEEAH." I knew I had found my man.

I told him the problem and he said the price would be $150 total and he'd be there in 30 minutes. I'd been sitting in a 50 degree house for 2 hours by this point and everything was numb. I didn't have time to price hunt anymore, and was sure I couldn't get it done for cheaper than that anyway.

Earl came, he saw, and he conquered. My diagnosis turned out wrong, but not completely wrong. He replaced the parts that needed it and charged the quoted price, and heat and happiness was one again restored to the house. Earl himself was a classy gent and very friendly, and I'd recommend him to anyone who asks me for a heating and cooling guy. Thanks Earl, wherever you are. You're my hero.

Every single night

2004-02-02T17:00:00-07:00

Every single night I work at GP, the fax machine rings. Every single night, it's not a fax, but a lonely voice on the other end. The machine simply beeps, and I hear this voice talking to her son's answering machine. The messages get more desperate and lonely every night. Just now it sounded like she was about to cry. I feel like I should do something, but it's the kind of fax machine without a phone attached and no real way to answer it without unplugging it mid-message. Poor lady.

2 things that

2004-02-04T17:00:00-07:00

2 things that make me so mad my head falls off:

First off, work. Fucking work. I hate everything about it these days. I work almost every day in the shittiest hours, 1-9, at the shittiest location. I never get any sales and, therefore, no money. There's stretches of time 6 or 7 hours long in which no one even comes into the store.

On top of that, there's no fridge or microwave here. Which means I've been living on cold cut sandwiches for the last few weeks because I'm too broke and fat to go out to eat everyday. And I'm broke because I'm stuck here where there's no customers or sales.

But the last straw was when I got written up. That's right, kids, for the first time in my long, 8 year work history, I got penalized at work. For something retarded. A guy brought in a broken phone, and I took a look at it to see if I could figure out what was wrong. I couldn't. That customer then took his phone to a corporate store where hey blamed the problem on what I did to the phone. THE PHONE WASN'T WORKING WHEN IT WAS BROUGHT IN! THAT'S WHY HE BROUGHT IT IN! I COULD HAVE HIT IT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER AND IT WOULDN'T HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE! Either way, corporate placed the blame on us because the phone was expensive to replace, and they placed the blame on me and Kara for trying to help a customer. I was pissed beyond repair because of it.

Ever since, I haven't been very careful not to step on any toes. Yesterday my manager asked me to do Photoshop work. I replied "sure, if you pay me as if you'd pay me to freelance it for you". They declined. When he asked if it was hard to find work in my field, I replied "that's why I'm here". I openly discuss plans to leave and how depressed I'll be if I'm here much longer. I've lost all patience for the retail world. I'm bored and ready for the next thing.

But the best story I have that relates to my hatred for this job is the one involving my 2 managers and a customer that came in wanting her phone looked at. She brought it in claiming that sometimes it wouldn't charge and sometimes said "invalid battery" on the screen. Here's our conversation:

me- "Where did you buy your phone originally?"
her- "Out on Pioneer Parkway"
"Okay. You'll have to take it back out there"
"Can't you just take a look at it?" (at this point she tried to hand it to me. I didn't touch the phone)
"Nope. We're not affiliated with that store, so there's nothing I can do."
"Isn't there a quick fix or something? Someone in another store reset it for me. Can you do it?"
"No, but they can on Pioneer Parkway."

The conversation continued with her trying to give me her phone and me backing away from it like it was cancer. She stormed off upset and disappointed. My managers asked why I didn't just reset it, at which point I replied "last time I touched a broken phone I got written up. I'm never touching another one."

I need to find another job ASAP. Since I'm not getting sales, I'm essentially making less than I did at Kinko's at age 18. It's time to go.

Rant number 2: my fucking weight. Fuck people who are skinny without trying.

After getting down to 183, I stopped exercising as regularly and eating more than I should. After a few months, I realized I put some of that weight back on, but estimated I was around 200 or possibly 205. I weighed in this morning. 215! 215! I couldn't believe it! Last time I broke the 200 pound mark, I promised I'd never go over again. Damn it. It's back to the elliptical and ridiculously harsh diet again, starting today. I lifted weights for 40 minutes this morning, and I'm going home to jump on the elliptical for another half hour, at least. I figure if I'm strict about it, I'll have the weight off in less than 3 months.

Fuck.

God I want

2004-02-08T17:00:00-07:00

God, I want a new job. Any new job.

My second nephew is due any day now, and I can't wait. Tomorrow I'm painting a mural in his new room. Tonight I'm working out. For at least a half hour.

I haven't had a customer walk into the store in 6 hours.

I'm running out of things to do.

I need junkmachine.com to be back up and running soon.

I need a better paying job.

But for the most part, my life is good. I can't complain about much. I'm getting that itch again. Anyone who has ever felt it knows what I mean. The itch to do something productive, creative, and maybe even a bit profitable. Another comic, now that I'm financially able to take it beyond the approval stage? Finish Optimus and get back on TV? I'd love to sculpt something. I'm really in the mood to sculpt.

As much as

2004-02-17T17:00:00-07:00

As much as I love snow and wish we had a huge snowstorm this year, I'm ever so happy to see it melting and be able to walk around without a coat on without feeling cold. Even though it's still February, Spring is in the air and I can smell it. Ah, Spring.

My last 2 days at work here at GP have been remarkably lame. No customers, no sales, and now, no phones. That's right, the phone systems are down, leaving me all by myself with no distractions at all. It's kind of nice, since Junkmachine needs updating and now I can do it.

The eBay auctions are going splendidly, and as per usual, I can't help myself from watching them every 15 or 20 seconds. I have more stuff to sell, too. Always more. I'm sort of liking the feeling of getting rid of the stuff I never use, putting money into my pocket, and getting rid of some of the boxes in the basement while I'm at it. Jaimee's habits are wearing off on me. Pretty soon I'll be organized and actually balance my checkbook in the proper fashion. That's probably not going to be for a while, though.

Tonight was supposed to be Hoops, but then I found out I work until 9. Hopefully everyone will still be up for it. It's been too long.

Hoops last night

2004-02-18T17:00:00-07:00

Hoops last night for the first time in a long time. I love Hoops and I love the pizza and on Wednesday, I love the price. Jaimee and I got out for $12 which included 2 beers, 2 sodas, and 4 slices of the world's greatest pizza. Plus an encounter with the drunkest man with the hugest scar I'd ever seen. Or not.

Today is the big day. My sister is having her second son and my second nephew today. The name is still a secret. She's in the hospital right now, but I don't know much else about the status. I was promised updates today, so you'll know when I do.

I'm hungry.

Today at 3:23

2004-02-18T17:00:00-07:00

Today at 3:23, my second nephew, Peter Joseph, was born. As of right now, it's unsure whether or not our matching middle names are a coincidence. I'd like to think it's not.

He was big by some standards, but not by Wasson standards. 8 lbs, 12 ounces, and 21 inches long. Tell me congratulations now.

Jesus I hate

2004-02-23T17:00:00-07:00

Jesus, I hate my fucking job. I hate retail. I hate knowing I have to go back tomorrow.

On Monday I went into the store, already a bit pissed off because this week I start a new, shitty schedule with fucked up hours so they don't have to give us overtime. So I walk in only to find out the person who closed the night before fucked up a bunch of stuff that I had to fix. So I fixed it, annoyed the entire time.

Then a guy walks in and starts yelling at me about rebates. I told him what I tell every customer when it comes to rebates, but it wasn't good enough for him. I forwarded him to the lady in charge of them who wasn't pleased that I did that, and this guy complains about me saying I treated him poorly. The whole thing was silly and pissed me off even more. They don't pay me enough for this shit.

So then I find out that, in addition to only giving us 37 hours per week now, they also docked me hours last week. That's not only fucking wrong and annoying, but also illegal. Fuck the Digi Stizzy. It's not quite as bad as I hated Iona, but it's getting there. I want out so bad. But I suppose that's a good way to motivate me to find another job. I'd take just about anything. I just really hate it there.

Everything else is fine, though. When I hated Iona, the hatred seeped into every facet of my life. Now I just need a bit of unwind time and I barely think about how much I hate working.

I've once heard that some people are born to work and some people are born to play. I guess I'm the latter. I'm just looking for something I love as much as I loved working at Kinko's, but preferably paid more.

I sent my

2004-02-24T17:00:00-07:00

I sent my resume to a company last night to fill a position as "Production Artist". I called this morning to annoy them, and I am in the pile of "considerations".

I'm stopping by another company on my way to work to drop off another resume. Peace out, Digi Stizzy.

Reasons I hate

2004-02-26T17:00:00-07:00

Reasons I hate working in the mall:

The rock-hard stool I have to sit on with no backrest.
People always asking me where stuff is.
People always asking me what time it is.
People always asking me everything about every cellular service that has ever existed.
No surfing for porn since everyone can see what I'm doing.
Public restrooms.
The fucking mall walkers.
Old people.
No Dish Network.
11 year olds dressing like hookers.
The constant temptation to eat Auntie Anne's Pretzels.

And the number 1 reason I hate working at the mall:

The annoying lady in the kiosk next to me who always tries to strike up a conversation with someone completely uninterested (me).

Things are good. We found a car for Jaimee, which is spectacular. I wish we'd have gotten that sorted out earlier so I wouldn't have to keep waking up early, but better late than never. I also just received Friday the 13th 1-8 just in time for the news that they'd all be released in special edition format. Such is life.

I'm hungry.

I have to

2004-02-27T17:00:00-07:00

I have to say, this is the sweetest thing ever.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Everyone should have a camera phone.

Everyone should check

2004-02-29T17:00:00-07:00

Everyone should check out my moblog to see my awesome bowling scores. While I realize they're not exactly clear, they ready 128 and 181, respectively. Because I rock. Hardcore.

Ah sweet rain.

2004-03-02T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, sweet rain. A sign of Spring, and also a sign that I won't get another god damn customer for the rest of my work day.

I went jogging this morning and found myself locked out of the house when I got home. I took the oppurtunity to do some yard work and talk to the one and only Kouri's Jen who was taking her baby on a walk as I raked up some weeds in the front yard. It was an eventful morning.

Jaimee got her car, so she's able to come and go as she pleases now. We got a great deal on it and it should be a good car for a while.

Exciting news on the job front... I applied to a job I saw on monster.com thinking I didn't stand much of a chance, but then got an email from the HR department asking my salary requirements. I take that as a good sign. Ever since, I've been thinking about nothing else because I'm so eager to get out of this crap shit fuck ass dick hole cunt lick job.

I'm going to go pee now.

I'm hungry.

Wow. Big day

2004-03-03T17:00:00-07:00

Wow. Big day at work today.

It was mostly uneventful until around 4:00 when Kieth got back from a short meeting with some of the upper-ups at the company. He walked in, a bit stressed out compared to when he left, saying he wouldn't be working at the company anymore. I assumed that he and the management had a war of words and he decided to leave, but alas, he was let go.

Not because he was inept. Not because he made mistakes. Just because the company made some bad decisions and has been losing a lot of money and needed to let people go. 4 were fired today. 4. out of the 8 sales reps. And, somehow, I made the cut.

Why? I don't know. I had a short talk with Stephanie, the vice president who got me hired on, and it was basically a "invoice to invoice decision", which I guess means I got more sales, or at least a higher percentage of sales, than others.

So I'm still employed, but kind of disappointed about it in a strange, strange way. I kind of wish I was eligible for unemployment and able to spend more time hunting for a better job. Instead, I'm sure I'm in for longer hours, a more screwed up schedule, but hopefully more money. I'd love to work 10 hour days, 4 days a week. That would be awesome.

So that was my day. I know 2 of the people cut and I'm trying to figure out the last 2, just for curiousity's sake.

I'm still employed. I'm still here. But a part of me envies the people who are gone.

Oh I forgot

2004-03-07T17:00:00-07:00

Oh, I forgot to mention that Jaimee and I took Jack to Chuck E Cheese yesterday as well. Man, that kid is so cute it hurts. Sarah and Robert had been telling him that we were going to take him for pizza and root beer, so when we got there to pick him up, he just kept running around yelling "pizza and root beer!" During the car ride, he sang all sorts of classics, like "The Wheels on the bus", "The Alphabet Song", and "We love Fruit Snacks" (which sounds remarkably like "we love book nuts" when sung by a 2 year old). He seemed to have a good time on most of the rides we forced him on, but probably had a better time when we took him to Target to buy a toy. He kept saying "stop", making sure that Jaimee and I weren't moving, then "go", at which point we were allowed to walk again until he yelled "stop" again. That was a fun game if I ever did play one.

Pictures available on my sweet ass moblog.

What a weekend.

2004-03-07T17:00:00-07:00

What a weekend.

Jaimee and I joined the crew at Donnely's for a few drinks and some hot wings on Friday. Afterwards, she went home to sleep and I went down to see Fabish and Amy at Jimmy's. Good times.

Jaimee left on Saturday morning to go pick up her dog and I had an uneventful day at work. That night I got home and fell asleep on the couch nice and early. I woke up in time for Wild Things 2, which I didn't even know existed, then fell back asleep for a good long time after that.

Sunday was a big day. Jaimee brought her dog back, but her and Winnie haven't exactly been getting along as well as planned. While breaking up a fight, Winnie managed to tear a huge chunk of skin out of my arm, exposing the bone beneath. Well, not really, but she bit pretty hard and definitely punctured the skin pretty good in one area, and left toothmarks on the other side of my arm. Bailey caused damage to my hand on the same arm. It hurts pretty much all the time, whenever I move any part of my arm.

Now I'm back at work. I don't like it here.

Tomorrow I have

2004-03-08T17:00:00-07:00

Tomorrow I have an interview for a job in my field. For fear of jinxing it again, I won't mention the specifics, but I will mention that I'm excited about the prospect of earning good money again, with good benefits and a consistent schedule. And, of course, I'm excited about paying off my credit cards.

Wish me luck. I want out of this crazy cell phone business.

The interview went

2004-03-09T17:00:00-07:00

The interview went well. Now it's waiting and hoping. Keep your fingers crossed.

Mmm... Chili's.

Damn snow.

2004-03-14T17:00:00-07:00

Damn snow.

What a damn

2004-03-14T17:00:00-07:00

What a damn weekend, right?

Friday night I worked until 7:00, then called up pretty much everyone I know in an effort to find someone to eat pizza with me. No one was home or everyone had eaten. I went home, sad and hungry, and looked for something to eat. Then I saw Polk's post that he was home early, so I gave him a ring and made plans to meet at Nick and Willy's.

By the time we got there, it was closed. In the meantime, I had called The Brandon, so we waited for the whole crew before heading to Donnely's, our usual hangout.

Later in the evening we went to Richards, where beers were consumed and drama was abound (yes, ABOUND!), and I stayed out late considering how old I am.

I woke up early the next morning, since it was Saturday (AKA- Home Improvement Day), and Jaimee and I started taking everything out of the basement and putting it in the back yard. After that, it was a quick trip to Big Lots to pick up some supplies to finish the daunting task in front of us. That included scraping the cleaning the floors and walls, priming the walls, mopping the floor, and painting everything in the basement and bring it back to shiny, bright, and new life. I think I had more fun with it than Jaimee did.

Anyway, there were some delays and, due partially to the weather not cooperating, this 1 day project will turn into a several day affair as we wait for paint to dry.

Sunday was yard work day, and while Jaimee and my mom raked and pulled weeds, my dad and I cut down several trees and dozens of bushes using an undersized hand saw and clippers. That was a big project, and our yard is really shaping up nicely. Once the weather is warm for a few days at a time, I'll plant more seed and have all grass for the first time since I've lived there. It'll look awesome.

Speaking of the weather (from 2 paragraphs back), I'm getting pretty sick and tired of this bullshit warm/cold stuff. I can deal with cold. That's fine. But damn it, don't get warm then immediately cold again! What the hell? Sunday was all warm and nice and I even broke a sweat while tending to the lawn, then today I'm back to my leather coat and using my heater in the car? Fuck this noise.

I can't stop thinking about my job prospect. It's probably unhealthy.

To everyone who

2004-03-16T17:00:00-07:00

To everyone who kept their fingers crossed for me, or prayed for me, or simply wished me well... thank you. I got a call for a second interview at what will possibly be the best job in the world.

Today is horror movie day. Today I get a new camera phone. Today Jaimee is making me waffles. It's a good day and everything is coming up Wasson.

I got my

2004-03-18T17:00:00-07:00

I got my new phone, and it's awesome. The pictures it takes are way better than my old one. Look here and check out the last pic I sent there. Neat.

Uh, what else? The house is taking shape, and I'm spending a lot of time in the yard lately. This morning I cut down all the bushes out front because they were hideous. Tomorrow I'll load all the crap into the truck, remove some rail road ties, and pull out the stumps of the bushes if possible. If not possible, then... well... I haven't figured that part out yet.

I'm having a really hard time thinking about anything other than this possible new job and how I'll pay off my credit card debt and spend the rest of the money on other necessary home improvement type stuff.

The music playing in the mall just got very loud. I hate working in the mall.

Alright so first

2004-03-21T17:00:00-07:00

Alright, so, first things first. My second interview was today and it went pretty well, although not as long as the first one was. I also don't feel quite as good about the second as I did about the first, mostly because of the length. But it was good. I'm particularly encouraged by the director's (and my possible boss') comment as I was leaving that went something like "Good luck, and I really mean that. I'm pulling for you." We'll see what happens.

Second things second, a big group of us (Jaimee, Wolford, Emma, The Brandon, Fabish, and Amy) went to see Dawn of the Dead. Being a huge horror movie fan and a huge fan of the original, I feel I should comment a bit on the movie.

I liked it. I liked it a lot. I thought it was hugely entertaining, and was particularly impressed by the opening sequence of chaos, car crashes, and explosions that happened before the credits. I thought it was executed amazingly well, and choreographed perfectly. The characters were all good and believable in their own canned horror movie character way, and I liked that the zombies were quick and ruthless, very much different from the original Romero version in which they were slow and overwhelmed with numbers rather than speed.

As a zombie movie, I thought it was fantastic. As a "Dead" movie... I was less impressed.

I really wish people could find a happy medium between a frame-by-frame remake like Psycho and one like this one which shared basically no similarities with the first one. None of the characters were the same except in a very vague way. None of the original plot twists and turns of the first occurred here, such as the biker gang and the semis that had to be driven around to block the entrances. I mean, this was at least sort of based on the Romero one, right? They share the same name and Romero is given credit. It seems like it should have been at least kind of similar to the first in terms of characters and plot. I was expecting an updated story... not a completely different story with the same exact name.

But, that said, I really did enjoy it. It was a fun zombie movie, more similar to 28 Days Later than it was to Night, Day, and Dawn of the Dead. For someone that had never seen the first, I think the remake will really please you. For someone who loved the first, don't bother looking for references to the first. I suspect you'll be disappointed.

I saw a poster for Alien vs. Predator, which will kick ass. It's the first of the Jason vs. Freddy inspired "vs." movies. My prediction: There will be many more.

Jesus I hate

2004-03-22T17:00:00-07:00

Jesus, I hate today.

I hate customers. Every fucking customer is a god damn idiot, I swear to God. Today a guy asked me how to unlock an AT&T phone to use on T-Mobile. I answered "We're Verizon, so I haven't the foggiest idea." Another asked me how our rates on prepay plans compared to other companies. We're not fucking Progressive. How should I know how much every other prepay provider charges? And besides, prepay customers are fucking useless and I don't want them using my network anyway. And finally, a lady came in asking all the details of TracPhone, yet another wireless provider who isn't Verizon. Why do people assume it's my job to tell them every detail about other carriers?

I hate customers. I'm also in a piss poor mood today, and nearly screamed at the lady in front of me at the ATM who insisted on letting her kid push the buttons for her, making a 30 second transaction last well over 15 minutes as I stood there with a disgruntled look on my face. Fucking people.

And don't even get me started on how no one knows how to drive.

I'm glad tomorrow is my day off. This job is driving me fucking crazy and I can't deal with it so many days in a row. Hopefully this job at Illinois Mutual will pay off and I'll make good money without fucking customers.

So it was

2004-03-23T17:00:00-07:00

So, it was a long ass day of yard work. After breaking a shovel, an axe, and bending a pick axe on the bushes, I decided there had to be an easier way to remove the stumps. I haven't figured out what that way is, but I will.

I decided to take time off from bush removal and focus on railroad tie removal. In the process, I smashed my foot up really good. I'm pretty sure I broke, or at least cracked it. That may sound like a joke, but it isn't. My foot is black and blue and swelled up and hurts like a motherfucker. I can't bend my big toe. I'm pretty sure it's messed up. I also got, and popped, a blister which also hurts.

Anyway, so that's my day. Jaimee and I also saw Eternal Sunshine today, which was excellent. Very, very good. The writing was genius, the acting was splendid, and it was just one of those movies that made you think. Fantastic flick. I recommend it to everyone reading this.

My foot is

2004-03-27T17:00:00-07:00

My foot is healing up nicely, but Jaimee and I decided that a trip to Ikea may not be the best thing to do with it half-broken and all. She's up in Naperville visiting Ikea sans me, and I'm down here finishing up yard work I didn't get done because I fucked up the 'ole tootsie.

The bushes are still being a pain in my ass. 2 down, 5 to go, and I'm hugely frustrated by the experience. I think I'm done for the day, but on my next day off will attempt the "pull the damn things out with a car and big chain" maneuver. Should be fun.

Last night my buddy Brian Kelly was in town. He stopped by the house and we shared some beers and watched Crank Yankers and caught up. Good times. I just spent about 3 hours in the yard hard at work, and now I'm going to go find something else to do.

Hour 6.5 into

2004-03-28T17:00:00-07:00

Hour 6.5 into my 11 hour work day, and I'm so bored I could vomit. I'm also hungry.

Still no word on the job that I may or may not have. Hopefully there's a message on my answering machine when I get home, but if not, I still have faith I'll hear a yes or no this week. And in the event of a no, I have faith that I won't take it too hard and will instead keep on lookin' for something better than this shit ass cell phone gig.

Sunday I did some yard work but used the rain as an excuse to stop and watch some TV. I also went to a Chinese Buffet with Polk, Toy, and The Brandon. Good eatin', for sure.

They changed the compensation structure here at work to make it super fucking hard to get any commission at all. It sucks, but it also gives me added motivation to find something else. Have I mentioned lately that I hate it here? Because I do.

You know I've

2004-03-31T17:00:00-07:00

You know, I've always been a big believer that everything happens for a reason. There's been times where that's harder to believe than other times. But let me tell you a story about when some of the worst news I'd heard turned into some of the best.

First, the best: This morning I was offered the job at Illinois Mutual for their brand new "Electronic Marketing Material" department, meaning there's some people already doing stuff for print and I would be doing stuff for the internet, CD, and DVD.

The worst: Last September sometime I was up for another position at a company who shall remain nameless. After 3 interviews I was basically offered the job, only to come home and post about how happy I was, then called later saying they'd found the journal and couldn't trust me and would sue me. At the time I was absolutely heartbroken. I couldn't believe it. It was a good job, good money, and it was all gone because of some weird coincidence.

Reasons I should have known better: The no-compete clause always scared the shit outta me. Always. From the beginning I was scared of it but not scared enough to turn down all the extra money. Vacation was pretty shitty. Benefits weren't great. It was a long ass ways away from where I lived. But, I still would have taken the job.

Someone was looking out for me: Yeah, the coincidence was so big that it couldn't have been a simple coincidence. I can't believe that. Not to get holier than thou or religious, because I'm not, but it certainly seemed someone was looking out for me. Had I started at Company X before they found this journal, I would have been fired and condemned to 2 years of shit work before I could work in my field again due to their no-compete clause. In the weeks that followed the bad news, people came from all over to tell me how much working for Company X sucked and how I was way better off without them. And they were right.

And the follow-up: The weirdness of everything led to me believe that someone was looking out for me and forcing me to make the right decision. That was a hard explaination to grasp because I was so looking forward to the money and going back to work. But I finally came to terms with it and accepted the notion that I would have to work a shit job until something better came along.

And the something better: My new job. First, the most important part of the deal: I'll be off every Friday by noon. Fantastic benefits, fantastic schedule, fantastic oppurtunities for advancement and promotion and making more money, good money (although not quite as high as I was hoping for), good people, creative environment where people WANT to be, rather than just being to scared to leave, and just and all around better job than anything Company X could have given me. And the best part: had I gotten the job for Company X, I couldn't have left to work for Illinois Mutual. And, as far as I know, they won't sue me for mentioning where I work in this here journal.

I start May 3rd and put in 3 weeks notice to the Digi Stizzi today.

Everything is good and great and wonderful now. I'm just happy I don't have to keep waiting and hoping for a job. It's mine. Unless it's just some mean April Fool's joke.

This journal will also return to being at least a little public. I'll still be cautious about what I post, but I'm sick of being friends-only.

It's been a

2004-04-02T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a long few days.

Thursday I did yard work, then I went to work, then I went to Jimmy's to celebrate my new job. Friday I did yard work, rescued Jaimee's dog when it ran away, then went to work, then out to Donnelly's. Today I did a shit-ton of yard work and have been at work ever since. I'm fucking drained. Yard work is hard, but on the plus side, the bushes and every trace that they ever existed are gone, as are the railroad ties and the elevated yard. It's now one graceful slope, although it is all dirt. Soon there will be sod and a garden, but for now it still looks better than it did 2 weeks ago.

I'm so tired. I could fall asleep right now in my shitty chair.

Since putting in my notice, I've had absolutely no patience for customers. I hate them and I want them to leave me alone. Go away, customers.

Had lunch with

2004-04-04T17:00:00-07:00

Had lunch with the old man today at Avanti's where we discussed my plans to buy a motorcycle. See, I've been tooling around in Jeepy for over 3 years now, and before Jeepy I owned a Camaro. I miss the fast cars and fast corners, but have been too broke to even consider anything else. Now that I'm going to have a newer, higher paying job, I figure it's time to get something faster. A motorcycle is a cheaper alternative to a sports car, and would tide me over until I can afford something totally cooler.

Dad warned me of the dangers of a motorcycle and was unphased by my observation that he himself had 2 of them sitting in his garage. He recommended I skip the bike and go straight for the M3 I've had my eye on for a few years. We'll see how that goes. For now I like Jeepy, but I go through phases of liking her and hating her. Maybe I'll like her a lot during the summer with the top down and doors off.

I just sneezed

2004-04-04T17:00:00-07:00

I just sneezed so hard it hurt my chest.

Yesterday was the laziest day ever, and it rocked. Jaimee and I had been planning it for a while, since between all of our yard work and real jobs and whatnot, we haven't had much time with just the 2 of us to be lazy. Yesterday was that day. We slept a lot, cooked out, watched a few movies, ate lasagna, and did nothing productive whatsoever. Perfect.

I just bought

2004-04-05T17:00:00-07:00

I just bought a bunch of sweet ass toys from eBay from other countries. A 2" Optimus Prime from Japan, a 20" Optimus Prime from Canada, and a Superman and Batman set from China.

I love eBay and the toys she gives me, but I hate waiting. Especially when shipping from other countries. I just want my toys.

I just got

2004-04-06T17:00:00-07:00

I just got a call from Illinois Mutual about my new position. They're setting up both a PC and a Mac for me to use and needed a list of software I'll need for each. This is so weird to be getting back into my field and putting in requests for thousands of dollars of software, knowing I'll actually get it. Unlike Iona who encouraged me to find free trials of anything I knew I'd need past the 30 days.

Still, I'm really happy about getting back into my field. And having an "office" which is really more of a cube but doesn't matter. Vindication at last!

I'm into my

2004-04-08T17:00:00-07:00

I'm into my last 2 weeks at work now and hating every minute of it. My last 2 weeks will be spent almost exclusively at Northwoods, including an 11 hour shift on Wednesday. Which sucks.

So yesterday I went out with Wolford and Jaimee to dinner at Agave. After that, Jaimee went home and Wolford and I went to see Hellboy, which pretty much kicked all sorts of ass.

I'm really, really, really looking forward to my little vacation in between jobs. I'm going to do yard work and all sorts of other productive stuff around the house. I may even re-activate one of my credit cards so I can afford some home improvement projects. That sounds like the best idea I've had all week.

Yard work today

2004-04-11T17:00:00-07:00

Yard work today, which I love. Love, love, love.

Saturday night was my family's Easter thing, so Jaimee and I headed to Brimfield to my sister's house for dinner with Sarah, Robert, Jack, Peter, Mom, and Dad. Jack is the cutest little guy in the whole world. It blows my mind how cute he is, and how funny kids are. Anything that he doesn't know the answer to, he'll say "fruit snacks", which is absolutely adoreable. He'll break into song at weird times and dance to whatever music happens to be playing in the background. I wish I was that young and carefree.

Yesterday we made the long trek up to Jaimee's family Easter thing which was considerably more crowded than my family's. I'm getting used to that, though. I won at a movie related board game and lost at bags, but had a good time overall despite missing America's Funniest Home Videos. I love that show.

Nine working days

2004-04-12T17:00:00-07:00

Nine working days left selling cell phones, and I'm hating every minute of it. Of those 9, six are days at Northwoods, which pisses me off.

Yesterday was a

2004-04-12T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was a good day filled with good yard work. I spent the morning digging a trench and the afternoon filling it back up with sand and laying down a nice little retaining wall for a flower bed. It looks pretty good, but I'll probably end up redoing a section of it to make it a little more level. With a bit of luck, the front yard will be finished by my vacation so I can focus my energies on the back yard.

I finished up the wall just as Jaimee got home. To celebrate 1 more step towards a nice front yard, we went to Hooters. Good food and good brew. Then we went home and watched The Inferno, and I promptly fell asleep a few seconds later. Building a wall is draining work.

In other news, I'm really looking forward to my new job and have made the decision to decorate my office/cube as if it's a home away from home, with pictures and toys and maybe even a Chia Pet, since those rock. I figure if I'm comfortable there, maybe I won't hate working in an office as much as I hated it before. It's worth a shot.

With the exception

2004-04-13T17:00:00-07:00

With the exception of the jogging incident, it was a pretty good night last night. After work I went home to a home cooked meal, then out to Circuit City to buy up a few DVDs, including American Splendor, Kill Bill, and Ghostbusters.

I got an introductory packet to my new job yesterday, and I can't freaking wait to start. In addition to the noon on Fridays bonus, I also get 1 hour per week to exercise on company time as long as I exercise 1 hour per week on my own time. Hopefully a few weeks of that and no one will yell mean things at me from their cars anymore. I guess it won't be an issue because I'll be exercising indoors in their little gym in the building. As it stands now, I'm planning to go in early everday, but since I like sleeping in so much, I'm not sure how long that'll last.

A guy just walked by with a dolly full of about 40 gallons of milk. I can't imagine 1 reason why he'd need that in Northwoods.

How do your

2004-04-13T17:00:00-07:00

"How do your prepay plans do?"

That's a question I was just asked. I can't wait to get out of this shit hole job. I don't even know what the hell she was asking me.

So I went

2004-04-13T17:00:00-07:00

So I went jogging last night. I realize that I've put back on about 25 or 30 pounds of the 70 I initially lost, but I didn't think I was fat enough to yell horrible things at by stupid people sitting on their stupid porch or driving by in their stupid cars. I mean seriously, why would people be so mean? And at 215 and 6'3", I honestly don't think I'm fat enogh to deserve that. I'll chalk it up to them being in high school or really insecure about their lot in life, but it still pisses me off. I've been fighting off my mean streak for a while and trying not to be deliberately mean to people who don't deserve it, and its upsetting to see people who couldn't give a shit about other people. Or their own soul, for that matter. I don't know how they sleep at night.

Last night sure

2004-04-14T17:00:00-07:00

Last night sure was eventful. After my 11 hour shift at Northwoods I headed down to Hoops to meet Jaimee and Mullens for some pizza and a drink or 2. As I'm sure most of you have read, Jaimee's purse was stolen. We didn't get a lot of sleep last night since a theif had our house keys and our address. Every little noise I'd feel the need to come investigate what was going on downstairs, and Winnie had a huge barking outbreak at one point which scared the shit outta me.

I was quite proud of myself for seeing the guy in the alley and actually running after him. I wish I had yelled something at him, but was kind of afraid about what he would do. After all, it was just me and him in a dark alley. Instead I just got a good look at his car.

As Jaimee mentioned, I hope the guy is shitting himself. I hope he saw us standing on the corner calling the cops and waiting. I hope he realized that this was a hard fucking way to make $4 and maybe his time would be better served working at Taco Bell. I hope he saw me chase after him. I hope he thinks I got his license plate numbers and I hope he goes to the DMV today to get new plates. I hope he knows he was caught on video and that he can never go back to Hoops again because Kelly remembers everyone.

More than anything, though, I hope he comes into my store today to try and activate my phone. I have it all planned out in my head and it amuses me to no end, although I realize it's really unlikely that it'll happen.

Anyway, after my 11 hour shift at Northwoods, this was about the last thing I wanted to deal with. I got a lot more sleep than Jaimee, but only about 3 or 4 hours, tops. I'm tired and sure won't do a good job today. I'm going to try and get someone to cover the last part of my shift for me. We'll see how that goes.

Big day today

2004-04-15T17:00:00-07:00

Big day today already. We woke up nice and early and made the trip to Wal-Mart for some paint for the front of our house. We got home and I did some more digging and preparing for a paint job, and the whole time I was bothered by the un-levelness of the porch and how the drooping caused my awesome retaining wall to look crooked.

We made another trip to Lowes looking for floor jacks to straighten 'er out, but came up empty handed. Then it was on to Menards where we had better luck. Came home and crawled around on my belly under my porch in the nasty, nasty dirt setting up these jacks and lifting the porch about half an inch in the center and maybe a quarter inch on the sides. It made an amazing difference and looks much straighter now. With a coat of paint on the lower porch it looks MUCH nicer, and sometime soon I'll repaint the white and the house will look good as new. We just need to replace the numbers. They're ugly.

Anyway, that's the update on the housework for today. Once we're all done, the house will look completely different. Hopefully by the end of the weekend it'll be done with the exception of the flowers. Still, it'll look awesome.

Hey everyone. Thanks

2004-04-16T17:00:00-07:00

Hey everyone. Thanks to freakwolf for recommending this site to me. Visit this page and I may win an iPod.

Click here to win me and iPod

3 and a

2004-04-18T17:00:00-07:00

3 and a half working days left now. Ah, sweet freedom. I can smell the freedom. Can you smell it? I can smell it. It smells like bacon.

My clothes don't match today.

I'm hungry.

My last 3 days are going to be at Northwoods, so anyone reading this should stop by and bother me. Chances are I won't be at the kiosk since I tend to just wander around a lot. But still.

I hate my

2004-04-18T17:00:00-07:00

I hate my job. I want to go home.

I was just

2004-04-19T17:00:00-07:00

I was just sitting here minding my own business when a little boy walked by that looked exactly like Jack. He was just walking by staring at me. Finally I realized that it WAS Jack, and he was with my sister and Peter. He seemed a bit confused to just "run into me" in public and kept asking why I was here. That's one cute kid, for sure.

3 days left. Then my vacation. Then my awesome new job. Today will be spent turning timwasson.com back into a personal site after being a professional one for way too long.

15.5 hours left

2004-04-20T17:00:00-07:00

15.5 hours left, everyone. That's right. I can, and AM, counting the hours at this point.

Life is good. Life is great. Jaimee and my house look great. Not perfect yet, but hopefully perfect this weekend. The dogs are good. The friends are specular, and the life is great. Now all I need to do is get back on national television again and life will be perfect. Oh, and it would also be nice to have a PowerBook. Those are sweet, baby.

Ah hello world.

2004-04-21T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, hello world. Hello kiosk in the mall. Hello happiness. Hello, last day selling cell phones. Hello vacation (in 6.5 hours). Goodbye Verizon.

Well, it's my last day here and the happiness is overwhelming. Not even this hard ass stool in the middle of the damn mall can get me down today. Mean customers can't get me down, because today I won't hesitate to yell right back at them. It's a special day.

I gave Brian my keys to the various stores around these parts, filled out an "exit interview", signed a few sheets of paper, and then I was done. Leaving here is such a relief.

Speaking of leaving here, Joey put in his notice today. That means in a month they lost over half of their sales staff. Only Jessica and Paul are left. In a weird way, I feel really sorry for the company. I suspect that they won't be around much longer unless something REALLY drastic happens soon. I feel even worse because Stephanie Mullens is not just my boss, but she's a friend. And she's one of my best friend's sisters. If the Digi Stizzy evaporates, what will happen to her and her job? I hope things end up okay, but I'm definitely glad to be outtie.

Goodbye crap job, hello rest of my life.

We got Jaimee

2004-04-21T17:00:00-07:00

We got Jaimee a laptop, and today I took it upon myself to set up a wireless network in the house. So we can surf all wirelessly and cool-like. Yeah, I'm probably jumping the gun by spending money I don't have, but my gadget addiction hasn't been fed for a while and since I'll be starting a well paying job soon, I don't feel too bad about it. But this laptop is the last purchase I'll make until my credit cards are paid off. I mean it this time. But after my credit cards... here I come, PowerBook.

In the meantime, I'm looking to sell my 21" monitor and my scanner/printer/copier. Both are big and heavy and I'd rather not put them on eBay because of those facts. Any locals want to make me an offer on either of them before I post in the Peoria community? Let me know, yo.

I'm updating this

2004-04-22T17:00:00-07:00

I'm updating this journal from the comfort of my hammock. How much does that rock?

I must say

2004-04-27T17:00:00-07:00

I must say that this has got to be the least relaxing vacation anyone has ever taken. So far I've laid down all the sod in the front, finished painting the front of the house, built a brick patio and put together a swing to go on it, ripped out some more rail road ties, and basically haven't had a chance to just take 'er nice and easy since my little vacation started.

Still, it's been nice not having to work. I've still been waking up early and trying to adjust to an earlier schedule, because Monday I have to start reporting at 7:45 every single morning. That will be rough.

Today I'm drained. I worked so hard and so long on that brick patio and today everything hurts. I imagine it's from carrying 200 bricks and 400 pounds of sand back and forth and back and forth. I think I'm just going to relax for most of the day today, but I do have some house stuff I need to take care of.

My reward for the house work: Both Brandon and Wolfie barely recognized the house while driving up to it. That makes me feel like maybe it's been worth it. Maybe.

My last days

2004-04-28T17:00:00-07:00

My last days of freedom are winding down, and I couldn't be more happy to be starting a new career at a new job that I think will be perfect for me. Or at least good for me. I got a call from them today and they're busy setting up my computers (a brand new G5 with 23" display) and some PC... I don't know what kind of PC at all. Anyway, they're also setting up my voicemail, extension number, email address, all this fancy corporate stuff I've never had. Well, I guess I've had email addresses. It's a good time to be me, I guess.

So it was

2004-05-01T17:00:00-07:00

So it was a pretty uneventful Saturday until I got the call that my grandpa had died. It was pretty unexpected, as he was in very good health considering he was 82 and had been smoking for about 70 years. But, he was also an old man, so it wasn't THAT unexpected. It looked like he had taken off his shoes, smoked a cigarette, got ready for bed, and went to sleep. He just never woke up. It was a good way to go, especially after we all watched his wife suffer for so long in the hospital until her dying was a relief more than anything. We all just wish we knew something was up so we'd have a chance to say goodbye.

So I made the trip to Woodhull to hang out with the family at my grandpa's house. It was awkward as it usually is after a death.

I'm all out of grandparents now, which is sad. I kind of expected my grandpa to live forever like my great grandma did. His mom died when I was 17. I think she was 96 or so. The saddest part of the night for me was Jack explaining what was going on. Sarah and Robert had already had a talk with him, so as we were getting out of the car, he explained to me that "Papa Russ was with God", and that since everyone would be sad, "he'd be good".

I have no idea how this will effect my work week. We'll see.

My first day

2004-05-03T17:00:00-07:00

My first day of work was really good. Everyone made it a priority to make me feel welcome and at home, which was a good change of pace from my last job. I think I'll really like it there.

After work, we headed to my grandpa's visitation. It was a really big turn out, which was nice to see, and I got to see a few relatives I don't see much. It's all unfortunate timing, with me missing my second day of work for a funeral, and me being all happy and excited about my new job before remembering how sad I should be because of the death of a family member. I keep going from really happy to sad, and then even a bit guilty for being happy in the first place.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say about that. I'll post a big recap of work and the perks and whatnot once the funeral fun is over. In light of that, the work stuff seems significantly less important.

Okay so first

2004-05-06T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so first things first. My grandpa's funeral went well, although got really sad when my mom made a short speech about him. It was very touching and very nice.

Now onto the job. I love it so far. My computers rock hardcore and everyone is really nice. They loaded up my first week with all sorts of meetings with all sorts of departments so I have a very vague idea of everything that goes on here. I'm sure it'll take a while before I learn all the ins and outs, IF I learn all of them. The company really takes care of the employees, makes sure they're happy, and makes sure they have what they need to get the job done. On my first day I asked for PhotoShop, a $700 software program, and ended up with a $1800 suite of Adobe products, just in case. It was pretty great, and I hear that's pretty standard here.

It's my first job in a building with elevators and a cafeteria. So that's nice. I've run into the President and CEO 2 or 3 times in random spots, and he's always really nice and remembers my name and what department I'm in. That must be a big job to know all of the 200andsomeodd employees of the company.

The human resources department made it a point to introduce me to a guy in my age range, since men here are few and far between and young men are even more spread out. I thought that was really nice.

Anyway, I'll type more later I guess. I'm actually pretty busy here at work. That's another change of pace... actually giving me something to do. Nice.

The kitchen renovation

2004-05-10T17:00:00-07:00

The kitchen renovation is going well and should be complete in 2 more weekends. Next weekend is either the front porch or bathroom. Or both, depending on our ambition.

Things are good. I'm nearly a week and a half into my new job and still loving it. I'm waking up earlier and have started exercising. Again. With me being on the ground level and the food/snack/beverage area being on the 3rd floor, I have decided to take the stairs each and every time I go up. It makes my legs hurt, but in that good way. And one of these days I'm actually going to wake up early enough to jog before work.

What else, what else... I'm pretty excited about The Inferno finale and "event" next week, but I'm sad it's over.

An open letter to everyone pissed off either openly or secretly at me.

2004-05-15T17:00:00-07:00

So let's hash it out, guys and/or girls who feel neglected, rejected, or otherwise pissed off at me. First, here's my side.

I think I'm a pretty easy friend. I like hanging out with people and will certainly make an effort to hang out with anyone when called to do so. Sometimes, however, this just isn't possible. Examples: When you call me at 5:30 to meet you for dinner at 6:00 and I'm completely dirty with my yard work clothes on in the middle of a job that I couldn't stop at that instant. If I were to call you and you were in the aforementioned situation, I wouldn't let it bother me or become offended by it... I would move on and find something else to do and try again later.

I like my friends easy. And not in the sexual way, either. John Zarr is a buddy of mine, although not a great friend, and I see him about 4 times a year. When we see each other, we shake hands, we drink some beers, and we catch up on what's been going on since the last time we saw each other. Even my best friend, Fabish, I see maybe once a month, twice tops.

I don't like being tested in a friendship. I'll leave it at that. Don't test me, it will simply piss me off.

Some people are making it like I have this great social life but pick and choose who I want to spend time with every weekend or weeknight and some people don't make the cut. No. That's not right. Most weekends I go out on Friday nights with the regular crew who can make it out in time, then I do housework the rest of the weekend. If you're one of the people invited along on Fridays, then guess what... you're one of the friends who I see the most often. That would include pretty much everyone reading this. When I hang out with Mullens or Fabish, it's usually for a 45 minute dinner or something that fits easier into a schedule than the 2 or 3 hour dinners on those Friday nights. Plus they live so close that meeting up is quick and easy and requires very little planning, as they work the same schedule I do and have busy nights and weekends, as I do, and are as eager to get home and start them as I am.

I mean, shit, I have a life. I work an early ass shift and, therefore, my schedule doesn't exactly match up with a lot of people's. I'm sick of making an effort to go out and see people, then get a bunch of shit for leaving too early. Would you rather I not go out at all if I'm going to go home on the early side? Because I definitely get the impression that's the case. And if so, I'll be glad to stay home and get shit done. Just let me know.

You have to understand that when I leave early or don't show up at all, it's not a slap in the face. It's me being busy with life. You also have to understand that I hate, hate, hate, hate calling people to chat and catch up. You also have to understand that I'm terrible at replying to emails and journal comments, and although I'm trying to get better, when you don't get a reply it doesn't mean I didn't read it or don't care.

Nothing I do is a slap in the face on purpose. It's me trying to juggle 2 very different sets of friends who don't ever hang out, along with a girlfriend, along with a house that needs a lot of work, along with a job whose schedule I still haven't gotten the hang of, along with a couple other side projects I never seem to have any time at all for, and then trying to get it all done in enough time to watch America's Funniest Home Videos on Sunday nights. It's quite a task and not as easy to juggle as it may seem. I'm not good at multitasking and I'm great at procrastinating, but will always try to make time when I'm called by a friend or 2. But you also have to give me the benefit of the doubt that when I leave early it's not because I hate you... it's because I'm tired and have to wake up early the next day. And if you give me shit about going home... well then why did I bother going out at all?

If you've been offended by anything I've done in the past week or 2 or 10 or whatever, feel free to leave a comment about exactly why I did what I did and I'll explain to the best of my ability. I'll also apologize in advance because I know life has gotten in the way of my social life, and sometimes I neglect both groups of friends I wish I could hang out with more.

So I'm loving

2004-05-16T17:00:00-07:00

So I'm loving this "off by 12:15 on Fridays" deal. It makes every weekend feel like a 3 day weekend, even though its not.

So on Friday after work I went home and relaxed a bit and tried to recover from some bad Chinese food or over eating some treats brought in for a coworkers birthday. I felt like crap and considered backing out of the Friday night tradition, fearing that my explosive butt would interrupt the night in a very bad way. Fortunately, by the time dinner time rolled around, I was feeling much better and ended up going out to Richards with Jaimee, Brandon, and Polk.

Saturday was spent doing various chores and preparations for the BBBQ (The extra B is for BYOBB), followed by a graduation celebration for Anna and Andy. I went to that, then went downtown with Angie to see Brynn, who I haven't seen in months and months. Following a bit of drama and stupidity and being half-ditched, I got to catch up a bit with Brynn before heading home for the night. I'd like to take this oppurtunity to thank Bryan J. for sticking around and not leaving me waiting alone in a crowded bar waiting for someone to come back. I hate being alone in bars.

And yesterday was busy too. We woke up early and drove out to my parents' house to get his truck so we could get new lawn furniture. They followed us back into town and treated us to breakfast, then we went our seperate ways and we did a bunch of stuff, including getting the lawn furniture, signing up for Dish Network, and more BBBQ preparations.

It's been an extremely busy couple of weeks with very little down time, trying to get this party going and dealing with the new job stuff and the grandpa dying stuff and the housewarming parties and the graduation parties. I'm looking forward to this weekend being over and me having very few obligations for a little while. Maybe I can have a weekend to work on Optimus or just sit around or something. I'm looking forward to that.

I forgot my

2004-05-17T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot my cell phone today and I feel naked without it. I never thought I'd end up so attached to the silly thing.

Still no word on Jaimee's broken car, but here's a few words on the state of our kitchen: Friggin' awesome. A few cabinets are still unhung while the paint dries and most cabinets will need a bit of touching up, but overall, the kitchen looks roughly 10,000 times better. Yesterday I put in all the new hardware and put up a few new hooks to hang crap on. The whole house is looking much better, if I do say so myself.

Since Brandon asked for it, I'd like to geek it up Wolford style and make some comments on The Inferno.

I hate Coral for being all "I don't want to go up against Veronica" after she was the main one who was all "Julie, you WILL go up against Veronica" earlier in the season. What a hypocrit.

CT rocks. He'll win, I bet.

I wish Dave would have beat Katie. Dave has been one of my favorite cast members since his season.

It seems unlikely that Katie will throw the final competition, but I do think she'll be the slowest and may lose it for her team.

I think calling it the finale last night was crap, and calling next week "the continuation of the finale" is retarded.

That'll do it.

I just called

2004-05-18T17:00:00-07:00

I just called about putting motorcycle insurance on my car insurance policy. It looks like motorcycle insurance will set me back a whopping $15/month. I'm not sure if I can handle that financial burden or not.

I can't wait until I have a motorcycle.

So I got

2004-05-18T17:00:00-07:00

So I got off work last night all primed and rarin' to go get some housework done. I picked up Jaimee and we headed out to Big Lots to pick up some more stuff for our BBBQ and nearly died in the process. The rain was coming down incredibly hard leaving pools of water in the street. Since I drive a Jeep I wasn't too concerned about the water, but I was pretty concerned about the other drivers driving like idiots.

As we were leaving Big Lots I got completely and utterly soaked and, therefore, got in a really bad mood really quick. We decided to skip Wal Mart (or, I decided) due to my we cloths and bad mood. As we got home, we saw we had a message from the shop saying Jaimee's car was finished. So we went out to pick it up, my mood improved a bit, and we decided to go ahead and stop at Wal Mart and pick up more goodies. While there, I picked up Godzilla from the $5.50 bin and Critters, which rocks hardcore. We got home and I decided to not do the chores I had set out to do, since we had just spent a long time driving through horrible roads and yadda yadda, and I was crazy tired.

So those chores will be done tonight.

But the big news: I had planned it out a few days ago that, if something was wrong with Jaimee's car that couldn't be fixed for a reasonable amount of money, then I would take out a loan on Jeepy to get her a new one. But we got her car fixed reasonably and, therefore, I will be taking out a small loan on the Jeep to buy me a motorcycle. Nothing fancy... just a little guy. A starter bike. I've actually convinced myself that I'll be saving money, since gas hit $2.10 in some areas of Peoria yesterday and Jeepy gets about 15 miles per gallon, but a motorcycle will get about 50. Yep. Saving money. That's what this motorcycle will be about.

After getting home

2004-05-19T17:00:00-07:00

After getting home from work yesterday, I changed out 3 power outlets and 4 switches to complete our kitchen. One of the switches was a pain and took forever, but I got it taken care of. Then I taped and painted some more, finishing it all just in time to watch another half hour of Critters before calling it a night.

We've decided that we're going to spend a week NOT undertaking any big renovation projects after this. It really ruins your whole life when you have so much to do and so little time to do it in.

Yesterday was the

2004-05-20T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was the first company outting I've attended. It was at Hoops, so I was nice and comfortable and ready to eat some pizza. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I had anticipated, and everyone was just laughing and having a good time. It was good. I definitely think I'm going to like working here.

Then it was back home where I did more painting, more cabinet mounting, and some ant killing. Then I finished Critters and started Godzilla and then went to bed. Exciting times.

Today Wolfie and Jaimee are going to come see where I work, then we're going to Hooters. I sure do like Hooters.

The BBBQ this

2004-05-23T17:00:00-07:00

The BBBQ this weekend went as well as we anticipated, even factoring in the rain and the insideness of the first family BBBQ.

The family BBBQ was good times all around and people even mingled between families by the end of it. Everyone who had never seen our house gave some nice compliments and those who had seen it marveled at what we were able to do to the kitchen. Good stuff.

The friends BBBQ went even better. I tended to the grill and cooked up some good 'ole Cheddarwursts and burgers and hot dogs for everyone and we went through a ton of brew, with still a ton left to drink. I don't know what we'll do with it all, except maybe drink it.

Highlights were the chair Wolford broke, Fabish's stories involving Panga, winning a dollar for hitting Wolford in the back with a bottle cap (twice), and the fact that both of my circles of friends were there, although they didn't quite mix it up.

The best highlight is just knowing that it's over and we can go on with our lives without a bunch of work every night preparing for that silly thing.

Yesterday was a lazy day, and it was good.

I haven't updated

2004-05-26T17:00:00-07:00

I haven't updated in a while, so here's the lowdown on what's been goin' on these past few days.

Not much.

We met Polk for his birthday dinner one night, and last night we did our regular Hoops thing. I'm really enjoying the "no housework" time we've got goin' on right now, and I'm really looking forward to using this upcoming 3 day weekend to work on a comic book and on Optimus Prime.

I bought Return of the King at Wal-Mart last night, along with a sweet ass 20" TV for our bedroom to replace the 13" Commodore. Can't beat the price... $75 on clearance.

Tomorrow Dish gets installed. That'll be sweet, baby.

I've also made a decision that upsets and disappoints me. I think my motorcycle purchase will need to wait until the winter. I think come winter, there will be more motorcycles for sale, they'll be cheaper, and I'll be less in credit card debt. I think if, starting now, I spend every extra penny I make on my credit cards, they'll be paid off by October. That will be a big burden gone, and then I can start saving money. In the meantime, I think I'll spend $120 to get canvas doors for Jeepy so I can take them off easier and pretend that's as good as a motorcycle.

A big 3

2004-05-27T17:00:00-07:00

A big 3 and a half day weekend comin' up. Optimus Prime, this one is for you.

I've had this feeling for a long time that I need to get back into a groove of doing something that will get me recognition, money or not. I don't want to be content just going to my job every single day, then coming home. I want to like my job, sure, but I don't want my job to be my life. I want my job to pay my bills and be able to afford things I want to do when I'm not at work.

Everybody's workin' for the weekend.

I loved the NESpc and the recognition it got me. I've had a couple minor successes where a few select people knew who I was. The comic I worked on in high school got me some fan mail from the west coast. The Army of Darkness site got me some attention. The NESpc got me way too much attention. I need more of that. I feel like I SHOULD have it, and sitting around NOT having it means I'm not living up to my full potential.

One of these days, one of my little successes is going to turn into a big one that will make me a lot of money, which will afford me a lot of free time, which will translate into me doing whatever the hell I want all the time, which will ultimately make me a happy camper.

Am I aiming too high? No way. I love to aim too high ($1 for anyone other than Jaimee who can tell me who I'm making fun of with that line).

So, this weekend will be spent working on my next computer mod, Optimus, which hopefully will get me back on TV. We'll see.

Goodbye, drama

2004-05-31T17:00:00-07:00

At the request of Emma (who said that people should remove her from their list if her journal made the uncomfortable), I have done just that. So this is friends-only, minus her.

I took her off because of her drama and because of her recent Wolfie bashing in her journal. I debated for a while telling her why I took her off, but decided against it. She'll make up her own reasons in her head despite whatever I tell her the reason is, so it's best to just not bother with it.

If she asks any of you why, please don't bother with an answer. Please just say I never mentioned why, and please don't let her try to guess. I want to keep my name out of her mouth, hopefully for the rest of our lives. I don't want the drama or argument in my life, and the conflict any of it would cause simply isn't worth it.

I don't like who I am when I'm reading her journal and thinking negative thoughts about her, and I don't like who I am when I make fun of her behind her back and call her nuts. I'd rather just not be associated with her in any way, shape, or form from this point on. I just know she'd only have a negative effect on my life, and I simply don't have time for that.

Anyway, I don't care if any of you keep her on your lists or talk to her on AIM or whatever, but if you're going to be hanging out with me, please don't invite her. If you invite me someplace where she's going to be, please don't expect me to go (although the invitation will be nice).

That's about all I have to say about that.

A nice lazy

2004-05-31T17:00:00-07:00

A nice, lazy weekend for this kid. Friday I worked on Optimus as the Dish guy came and installed my Dish system for me (by the by, DVR rocks my world and having locals again is cool), and did pretty much nothing that night.

Saturday was more work on Optimus and Alan's BBQ at night. It was good to see him again, since I don't see him nearly enough due to our different schedules and lives these days.

Sunday was more work on Optimus, then to my sister's house to see my cousin and a few little kids. In driving there, we almost got blown off the road by a tornado. Not really, but still. Lots of rain.

And yesterday was a little work on Optimus, but mostly just watching Cold Case Files and eating Chinese Buffet with Fabish.

Optimus is coming along really well and will be finished within a month if I can keep the pace up. I feel a lot better being productive in my workshop again doing something that will hopefully get me back on TV and such.

Another thing I

2004-06-01T17:00:00-07:00

Another thing I hate: Road construction. Something I hate more: Road construction where all they do is put a bunch of blocks and signs and arrows up but don't actually do anything.

I take Knoxville to get downtown every morning, and this morning it was 1 lane from Nebraska nearly to 74. No one was even working or there from what I could tell. Can't they just wait until rush hour is over to put their barrels and signs up? I hate you, road construction.

I also hate the people who don't wait for their turn in line, but instead speed to the front and cut people off.

end rant.

I’d like to

2004-06-03T17:00:00-07:00

I’d like to take a second to comment on the hoodlum to works at Taco Bell, and also on the guy I saw this morning driving to work in a crappy car who looked a bit down on his luck. And while I’m at it, I’d also like to comment on the guy who washes windows in the Cub Foods parking lot for change and the guy who collects aluminum cans at the carts downtown.

I like all of those people.

Why? Because a lot of people in their situations would have, and HAVE, given up. They took the shitty hand life dealt them and didn’t do anything with it. They accepted defeat and, therefore, deal drugs, steal purses, or just live off unemployment and Link cards. I’m not into that at all.

I admit that I was dealt a great hand at life. I grew up in a nice neighborhood with good parents who were pretty comfortable financially speaking. The more of the world I see, the more I realize and appreciate that. They made it really easy for me to go to college and get a job, and were supportive when I wasn’t having much luck with the latter. But, at the same time, I like to think that if I’d had a shittier life, I would have succeeded anyway. I like to think that I have a strong enough character that stealing shit from people instead of earning a living wouldn’t be good enough for me.

In Chicago I dealt with a lot of people on the street asking me for money. I hated that. But I’d sometimes give a buck to the guy who offered to shine my shoes or the guy who was washing other people’s car windows. At least they were doing something other than begging or stealing. At least they were offering a service for my money.

Anyway, seeing people in those situations makes me feel pretty silly about bitching about my problems. Maybe that’s why my dad has such a good outlook. He deals with people all day long who aren’t having an easy time with their life, but when he gets home, he realizes he’s got it pretty good. I never used to understand how he could be so happy all the time after dealing with people all day who weren’t at all happy, but I think I’m starting to understand it. Complaining about road construction seems pretty shallow after seeing people who can’t afford adequate care for their children.

I’m going to try to complain less and look at things more positively.

What a weekend.

2004-06-05T17:00:00-07:00

What a weekend. Friday after work I took Winnie to the vet for her annual check up and shots and to have her breathing checked up on. I have to take her back for X-Rays next week, which sucks.

That night was Kouri's with the regular crew, plus John Zarr, a buddy of mine for many years.

Yesterday was Callahan's wedding, which was uneventful for the most part but very nice.

Today my parents took me and the 'ole lady out to lunch at Red Lobster. Now I need to do some cleaning and working on Optimus and watching a special 90 minute AFV. Good times.

A few more

2004-06-06T17:00:00-07:00

A few more noteworthy events of this weekend.

Our hot water heater exploded. I don't know why or how, but Jaimee and I had to carry buckets of steaming hot water from one room to another, making many trips before it had emptied enough to not shoot out like mad anymore. It was an exciting adventure, but it worries me that it may happen again. We'll see. Hopefully not.

Optimus' head is coming along swimmingly, if I do say so myself. At this point, all I have to do is not get bored with it and I'll finish it within a month, I reckon.

I've started taking vitamins.

I ran 2 miles last night and 1 mile this morning. I'm going to try and keep that pace for the rest of the week and see how I feel, but right now my legs are kilin' me.

I opted out

2004-06-07T17:00:00-07:00

I opted out of the 2 mile jog last night since my legs really, really, really hurt. I took a long walk instead. I rented Club Dread, which was one of the most awesome movies ever made. Every time they pronounced "Penelope" phonetically, I laughed. Good stuff.

www.allofmp3.com is my new favorite site.

I'd like to

2004-06-08T17:00:00-07:00

I'd like to speak for a second about my new favorite website, www.allofmp3.com. If you have a high speed internet connection at home, it's worth checking out. I put $25 in my account there, and Jaimee and I were able to download about 10 albums worth of stuff, and a few singles, and use about half of that money.

The weird part? It's completely legal.

Okay, well, it's completely legal in Russia. But my question is... why is America so different?

iTunes charges $.99 per song, $10 per album, and people think it's a bargain. The same album on allofmp3 would cost about $.65. What's wrong with America?

People feel ripped off going to Target and buying a CD for $12, but downloading it for $10 is a bargain? They've eliminated the cost of the CD, the jewel case, the packaging, the distributing, the shipping... why don't they pass those savings on to us? $.01 per megabyte is cheap, but if there was a legitimate American company that charged $.05 per megabyte, or even $.10 (although that's pushing it), I'd pay it. I won't pay iTune's $.99, or even WalMart's $.88 per song. Why should I pay the RIAA's lawyers to sue more people?

CDs at stores should be $7 ot $8. Downloaded albums should be $3 or $4. But until I can buy the album for $4, I'm going to keep buying it from allofmp3.com for $.65.

I have a

2004-06-09T17:00:00-07:00

I have a meeting tomorrow at Iona at 1:00. Weird.

I just got an email from Jeanne, whose cube was caddy corner to mine. They need my 3D services, and quickly. I hope it's something I can do, and I hope I can do it quick, and I hope it's good enough money to take a big chunk out of my credit card debt. I'm doing pretty good hacking away at that stuff (lined it up so my entire next paycheck will go towards it), and this would help a ton.

Wednesday night =

2004-06-09T17:00:00-07:00

Wednesday night = Hoops night, so Jaimee and I headed down and met Mullens and Anna's little brother Will. Jaimee got a few free slices since they ruined (kinda) her first ones.

I came home, downloaded a few more albums, and worked a bit on Optimus. He's really coming along, if I do say so myself. Just one more coat of Bondo and a bit of touching up and he'll be ready to start fitting the parts inside. Then the paint job. Then he's done and I go back on TV.

I got soaked

2004-06-10T17:00:00-07:00

I got soaked running out of work yesterday, but the import part is that I survived. Jaimee and I went to Steak 'n Shake where we were waited on by the most awesome waiter in the whole wide world. He gave Jaimee coupons for her meal and just seemed so happy to be serving us.

I came home and spent a few more hours sanding away on Optimus. Sanding, sanding, and more sanding. And even more sanding to do tonight. I'm totally excited for it.

I tried to get a hold of John so Mullens and I could take him out tonight, but his phone has been cut off. I don't know what we'll do now.

It was a

2004-06-13T17:00:00-07:00

It was a good weekend for this kid. Friday afternoon I had my meeting with Iona, which went well, but I think was simply for show. Nothing will come of it, I imagine. Still, it was good to see everyone again and interesting to see what they're doing with the place.

Then Mullens and I got lunch and took care of some errands before stopping by John Zarr's house to invite him bowling with us. We made our plans and went to Kouri's to wait for him. Our expected wait was about 45 minutes, but we ended up there almost 3 hours waiting for him. At least we had free shrimp to enjoy. A bit pissed off about the blow off, Mullens and I went to meet Angie at Jimmy's, then head to a barbeque.

The barbeque was good, except that I was tired and I didn't know anyone and there was something wrong with the keg and I ended up with black chunks of something at the bottom of my beer.

Saturday I took care of some lawn work and other chores, took a nap, then saw The Day After Tomorrow with my parents and Jaimee. I liked it about as much as I thought I would like it. Then we met Wolfie, The Brandon, The Kristi, and The Tiffany at Richards. Good conversation where I made fun of most of the table and myself, embarrasing stories about pissing myself, and staying up way later than an old man with a real job should.

Yesterday was another lazy day spent watching Last Comic Standing, working on Optimus, and going to sleep early.

Work on Optimus

2004-06-14T17:00:00-07:00

Work on Optimus was slowed down a bit last night when I opted to watch Jeepers Creepers 2 with Jaimee instead of working on him. Although my tests with the fiberglass resin have gone great.

I got myself a much sought-after gmail address. I haven't the foggiest idea what I'll use it for, really. Mostly I just wanted it so I could brag to others about it. I keep checking it to see if I have any invitations. I'd sure like to trade one for something on gmail swap.

My legs hurt today. Hopefully soon they'll be used to this jogging/stairs thing. The vitamins I've started taking haven't lived up to their promise of more energy. I have my fingers crossed though.

For the past

2004-06-15T17:00:00-07:00

For the past 2 nights, I've gone to bed around 10:30, and woke up around 4:30, completely awake. I find it pretty difficult to get back to sleep. That's around 6 hours of sleep, I guess.

My dad gets by with 6 hours every day. Maybe I can too. Maybe this is those energetic vitamins working their magic. Or maybe I've been so drowsy all the time because I'm forcing myself to sleep too much.

Optimus is now coated in fiberglass and looking hot.

I've decided to

2004-06-16T17:00:00-07:00

I've decided to take some serious action against my credit card debt.

See, before I got this good job with a consistent income, I was self employed and working crappy jobs part time to pay the bills. Many months, I didn't quite have enough to pay them so I'd whip out the credit card and charge my phone bill, or electricity bill, or whatever I needed to do. It wasn't the brightest plan in the world, but I was raised knowing it was good to pay your bills and bad to not pay them. I made minimum payments on the credit cards and watched the debt get a bit out of control.

The worst part is that I don't have much to show for it. Some people have huge credit card debt, but at least have a sweet TV or something. Not me. I'm paying off a phone bill from 2 years ago.

Anyway, so I've spent the last 7 or 8 months trying to get rid of this debt. Then I landed this job and took a 10 day home improvement vacation, spending money on lawn care supplies, a small brick wall, people to haul away some garbage, lawn furniture, paint, new handles for the kitchen cabinets, a new laptop, and, well, I charged a lot. I should have known better.

So, I was tallying up my current debt and the debt I aquired a couple years ago, and I decided it would be best to take out a bank loan to pay them off. With my new job, it shouldn't be an issue. Yesterday I was approved for said loan, and I need to call in today to set up an appointment to sign some papers. Then it's goodbye, credit card debt. It's haunted me for years, and now I'll just have the 1 low interest bank loan to pay off. So that will be nice.

It's a 1 year loan, but I suspect I can pay it off in 7 or 8 months if I'm careful. I know this was boring to everyone reading it, but it's a big weight off my shoulders.

Today at 2:00

2004-06-17T17:00:00-07:00

Today at 2:00, my credit card debt will be no more. Of course, this means I owe money to the bank instead.

Other big plans this weekend.... meeting the old lady for lunch, helping Mullens with his computer, Polk's fundraiser, Father's Day madness, and possibly meeting the gang for Dodgeball.

Man that was

2004-06-20T17:00:00-07:00

Man, that was a busy weekend. I didn't have any quality time to spend with Optimus.

Friday I went from work to the bank to sign the papers for the credit card stuff. After that I headed over to Mullens' house to help him with some computer problems, which resulted in us needing to go buy a new hard drive. I got it up and running, but it took a bit longer than I expected. Jaimee and I went to Chili's afterwards for some good ass food, then headed home and started Scarface, but I was asleep by 9:30.

I slept a good long time. Saturday I did some yard work and tried to be outside because it was such a nice day outside. Brandon and Kristi came over later to eat and play some board games and kick my ass at Scattergories. We stopped briefly at Polk's fundraiser, and I stayed up past midnight. Unbelievable, I know.

Sunday Jaimee and I drove to Canton to deposit a check. We stopped at an awesome little diner on the way home. Then we bought some bikes, I took a short bike trip, then headed out to my parents' house for Father's Day. My nephew is adorable, my dad is awesome, Father's Day was good and the food was terrific.

So I've been

2004-06-23T17:00:00-07:00

So I've been abusing my new gmail account and the invites I was blessed with, checking on gmailswap and making people sing me Spiderman songs and send me Microsoft Paint drawings for an invite. It's fun stuff, and so far I have 3 pictures of people holding up "junkmachine" signs, which will soon find their way to my site. Good stuff.

My good buddy Brian was in town earlier this week, so I joined him and his family for dinner followed by a couple beers at Richards. He's going to be moving closer to where the action is, so I imagine I'll be seeing more of him in the coming months.

For some reason, I've had this urge to watch Cube again. I haven't seen it since I lived on Underhill and borrowed it from Brice. It's been a while. I don't know why I suddenly want to see it again.

Was I the

2004-06-24T17:00:00-07:00

Was I the only one excited and confused to see Morgan Webb in the most recent issue of Maxim, posing with all sorts of cleavage and looking hot? Rawr.

My new DVD burner is opening my eyes to a whole new world of piracy.

Friday was the

2004-06-27T17:00:00-07:00

Friday was the first Kouri's night with the gang in a long time. Good times. Saturday I washed and waxed Jeepy, and Sunday I watched a few movies with Jaimee and went out with Alan, Angie, and Mullens for a couple brews and hot wings.

A trip to the grocery store with Jaimee prompts me to ask the following question: When will the shaving innovations stop? I mean, seriously. First, we just had straight razors. That was fine for a couple hundred years or so. Then we shorted the blade and put a different handle on it. Then 2 blades. Then electric. But not just 1 kind of electric, 2 different kinds. Then 3 blades. Then the electric one that shoots gel on your face while you shave. Then 4 blades. Now the hybrid electric-vibrating Mach3. Do we really need all these choices for something as simple as removing hair from our faces? It seems like all these genius engineers could be working on an alternative to gasoline engines or something important rather than another way to shave.

We had an earthquake last night. That doesn't happen often in Illinois.

I forgot to

2004-06-29T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to mention that Todd Glass was robbed on Last Comic Standing last night. I mean, I don't particularly like him in the house, but I thought his stand up was way funnier than Tammy's. And I'm not too fond of Tammy either.

If anyone reading

2004-06-29T17:00:00-07:00

If anyone reading this wants a gmail invitation, just let me know. The first person to reply to this gets it. I only got 1 invite this round for some reason. Damn it.

A week or

2004-06-29T17:00:00-07:00

A week or so back, Jaimee and I invested in some bikes to get our waistlines back into shape and had taken a few bike rides to break them in. I thought I had just gotten horribly out of shape since last summer when I rode Mullens' bike all the time, because I couldn't keep up at all with Jaimee, even going down hills. I was having a tough time riding this stupid bike.

So I decided to do a bit of investigating and found that the back tire was rubbing against the frame of the bike and the brake. So, basically, I was always riding with the brake on. That made it harder for me.

Last night I rode this bastard bike back to Wal-Mart to exchange it for the same model which hopefully wouldn't have a fucked up back tire. I was given a hard time from the guy behind the counter and had to hunt down an employee with a ladder and wait in line to do the exchange, but I'm much happier overall with a bike that works properly. The ride home from Wal-Mart was pretty effortless and very quick. Mostly how I remember it from last summer, so that's good.

Work: 3.1 miles away. That's a nice distance for a morning bike ride, I think.

All sorts of

2004-07-05T17:00:00-07:00

All sorts of excitement this weekend. Thursday I went to a baseball game with Jaimee, Mullens, and Anna. It was boring. After the game, we went to see Spiderman 2, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Friday I had my meeting with Iona. I ended up getting a pretty sweet freelancing project, which I worked on on and off for the rest of the weekend. Friday night was Kouri's night with The Brandon and Polk. Later that night I went to Crusens with Fabish, then to rent movie and watch it at his place. I hadn't hung out with the kid for a long time, so it was nice.

Saturday was mostly a lazy until until Robert came to get me to take me to the fireworks at Glen Oak. I think that was the first time I'd ever seen them there, although that seems unlikely. Ah well. It was fun. Saturday night I went to Jimmy's with Alan, Brynn, and Angie.

And Sunday, ah Sunday. I got a call from Mullens asking if I was willing to take voyeuristic photos for him. He's a good friend and all, but there's some things I won't do. Finally he convinced me by giving me the whole story. He was planning on proposing to Anna that day and wanted pictures of the event, but he didn't want her knowing I was taking them. We "cased the joint", as I like to say, and got me all set up. He came back with Anna a little while later, popped the question, and I took a ton of pictures to remember the moment. She didn't see me, and our plan went off without a hitch. And she said yes.

Later that night was the combination 4th of July/engagement party, which was fun. I'd never gotten so much praise for my somewhat amateur photographic skills.

Yesterday I had to help my dad with a bunch of stuff and work on the project for Iona. Sorry Optimus, maybe next weekend.

I hope I

2004-07-07T17:00:00-07:00

I hope I get adjusted to this schedule sometime soon. 2 and a half months in, and I'm still sleepy all the time and have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

The freelance project is finished until I get some more revisions, so my time until then is reserved for Optimus.

My life is boring.

I want a PowerBook.

I'm going to go jogging and skip dinner tonight. And work on Optimus.

The animation I

2004-07-08T17:00:00-07:00

The animation I did for Iona went over well, and I have another meeting with them on Monday to discuss revisions, and gasp, some illustration work as well. Steve told me that they were considering making a transition into a company that simply sold multimedia projects and all their workers would be freelancers. That makes sense, and it's good for me if they keep throwing work my way. I've discussed my freelancing with my boss at IM, and she doesn't mind a bit until it starts interfering with my work with them. I don't know if that includes me coming to work tired or not.

Ya know sometimes

2004-07-11T17:00:00-07:00

Ya know, sometimes it seems like when I look back at my life from high school or even college, huge sections of it seem more like a movie than my real life. It's sort of like when I was alone in Chicago and miserable, I remember it, but I also kind of don't remember it. I remember feeling so lonely I wish I could die, but right now, I don't remember what it felt like. Does that even make sense? It's like watching a movie on TV and seeing someone crying. You know they're sad, but it doesn't hurt you like it hurts them.

A lot of the stories I tell about myself from years ago feel just like they happened yesterday. All the stories I tell about myself and my life are either happy or slightly embarassing. Which leads me to believe that my mind is a wonderous place where bad things are forgotten and good things are remembered, leaving me an uncanny ability to hold grudges for only a couple weeks, max, and usually not even 2 days. Sometimes a bad memory can be a blessing, and a selective memory can be an even bigger blessing.

The only bad is that I never seem to learn from my mistakes. The things that hurt me once will more than likely hurt me over and over and over. But I'm learning.

I guess the point is that some parts of this weekend were bad, but those feelings are fleeting and won't be around forever. The majority of the weekend was good, although a bit uneventful.

I'm very tired. I need to get adjusted to this new schedule.

The weekend had

2004-07-12T17:00:00-07:00

The weekend had its ups and downs, but was okay when everything averaged out.

Winnie got sick and some bad looking patches on her, so after a vet bill and $120, we have a bunch of pills to feed her to make her better. She's already looking much more chipper, although she's napping more often and tends to lay on the floor and look at me like she's miserable. Poor little sweetheart.

After my meeting at Iona, I went home and ate dinner. A little while later I went to Jimmy's for a couple drinks with Mullens and, later, Angie. Tonight is a meeting with a financial advisor, then out to my parents' house, then home to work on the Iona projects. It's going to be a fun night.

In an effort

2004-07-13T17:00:00-07:00

In an effort to keep my mind off some of the stuff that it keeps drifting back to, I didn't get to see last week's episode the day it aired, unfortunately. I had to wait until Saturday. My guess was that Alonzo would be the one cut, since I find him not only the least funny, but also completely uninteresting in the house. I think Gary is hilarious, and I felt really bad for him to lose the roast after working so hard on it. I also assumed that roasting was all about swearing and insulting, and was pretty surprised when Gary was condemned for it.

So Gary lost, which meant that he was going to be one of the challengers. I lost all respect for Ant when he told Gary he wouldn't be voting for him since he didn't want to be challanged by him. I mean, dude, have some dignity.

Gary smashed Ant. It wasn't even close, in my mind. I didn't feel sorry at all for Ant, because I bet if he played the game a bit more fair he would have stayed longer. Instead he was a conspirator who played the game like it was Survivor. LCS should be about funny people in a house, not alliances whatever else. When it comes down to it, an alliance isn't going to keep anyone in the house. Gary proved that.

The show is already better to me with Ant gone. I'm not a fan of him or his humor. Not even a bit.

So in the most recent episode, they performed for kids. It wasn't really funny to me and, evidently, to the kids either. I respected John's technique of just telling the kids to vote for him and yell his name. Kids are stupid.

Jay vs. Gary couldn't have gone well either way. I like them both. I think Jay is pretty funny, but mostly I just think he's a good guy who has paid his dues and deserves a break. I also thought it was hilarious that Gary got all teary-eyed after making fun of John for crying in the second episode. Poor Gary. Poor Jay. This is where the alliance worked... it pitted 2 people together who weren't in the alliance because of a tie, and kicked off one of the funnier guys left. I don't think Tammy or Alonzo are funny at all, and in fact, I was shocked when she beat Todd Glass. He was robbed. Anyway, the point is that they're just in "ass saving" mode, which is really annoying to watch people who aren't funny on a stand up show.

My prediction for next week: Tammy vs. Gary. Tammy goes. I don't know why, but I think when it comes to having the voted out comics vote on who challenges, they'll get the most votes because they have the most enemies. Both Ant and Jay are going to be pissed at Gary, and Todd, ultra-vocal Todd, will be pissed at Tammy. Although I'm probably totally wrong.

The last few

2004-07-13T17:00:00-07:00

The last few days have just been draining to me. Physically, sure, because of my lack of down time. It seems like important things like "rest" and "relaxation" need to be squeezed in, and during those times I'm thinking of other things I have to do. But also it's been draining emotionally. I've had big things on my mind that take their toll after a while. Sometimes things are sad, a lot of the time they're happy, and sometimes I don't know what to think.

Sometimes my life is like a movie. A boring movie, sure, but still a movie. Sometimes it feels like I'm just watching myself do things instead of actually doing them. Watching myself feel things instead of feeling them. But not lately. Lately it's been a little too real, and a little hard to take.

I realize this is cryptic, which is how I want it for now. Everything will make sense in the end, and everything will be okay.

Anyone who wants

2004-07-14T17:00:00-07:00

Anyone who wants to make a million dollars on eBay needs to follow this guys lead.

Genius. Genius.

I stayed up

2004-07-14T17:00:00-07:00

I stayed up way too late watching Predator 2 and working on stuff for Iona and junkmachine last night. I'm crazy tired today, and to top it off, I didn't bring any change for soda. So no caffeine for me.

I always get a kick out of the text at the bottom of spam that tells a story or just mentions people's names to get around spam filters. I just got some spam selling illegal software, and here's the story at the bottom:

"Henrys amazement was also great, especially when he spotted the two elders from his church. Slade, mandy said quietly, im glad mum let me talk to you. I mean, most of the congregation are at work on tuesday morning. Behind her there was a sudden uproar as all the people started talking at once."

Beautiful.

More spam fun:

2004-07-14T17:00:00-07:00

More spam fun:

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
"What is the company motto?"
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
w questions.
I like tall women.
me to time.
Instant coffee takes too long.
Candidate brought large dog to interview.
"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"

I'm glad I

2004-07-15T17:00:00-07:00

I'm glad I only have to work a half day today.

So the secret

2004-07-18T17:00:00-07:00

So, the secret (if we could ever call it that) is out. Jaimee and I are splitsville. It was a decision made reluctantly but mutually, so all is good in that camp. I'm still organizing my thoughts about the whole thing, and will post them once they're sorted out.

The weekend was good. Friday afternoon I met Angie, Alan, and Brynn at Hannah's Parlor for lunch, and Friday night was Kouri's night with the crew, although we ended up going to Donnelly's. We waited until the end of the night to break the news, and thankfully Polk was there to keep it light-hearted and not all depressy and whatnot.

Saturday I went out to break the news to my mom. She was upset, and seemed worried about me. Mullens picked me up from there and we headed to Gorman's for a few drinks and a few wings. Angie stopped by after work. I saw Fabish later that night and sat on his porch drinking some more beers (are we seeing a pattern here?).

Sunday was a lazy day, then out to Wolford's dad's restaurant for his birthday dinner. He ended up paying for Jaimee and my pizza since the restaurant operates like it's the 50's and doesn't take credit cards. After a short stop in Canton we made our way home, watched a bit of AFV, and went to sleep.

I'm dealing with the situation pretty well. Every once in a while, I start feeling like I really have to get out of the house for a little bit, and when I get that feeling, I've been jogging, going for a bike ride, or talking a walk. This weekend I took a 6.5 mile bike ride to and from work to see if I could. The next day I took a 2 mile jog, followed by 2 1 mile walks with both dogs. Later that day Jaimee and I took a short bike ride again. That exercise isn't counting the walks around furniture stores to find a new couch to replace the one Jaimee is taking with her.

After a trip

2004-07-19T17:00:00-07:00

After a trip to Sam's with Jaimee, I took a bike ride with Angie. It was supposed to be a short one, but we got completely lost in a cemetery and turned around without a clue as to where we were going. It was pretty neat. We popped out right by the bridge to East Peoria. Then we had to ride all the way home. When all was said and done, it was about an hour 40 minutes or so.

Good exercise, but still.

Sleeping in an extra half hour in the morning is actually helping a lot in terms of me not being tired all the time. Or maybe it's the exercise. Or maybe I'm finally just adjusting to this schedule after 2.5 months on the job.

So I stopped

2004-07-20T17:00:00-07:00

So I stopped by the hardware store to pick up some rat poison to clear out the garage on my way home from work last night. I also spent a few hours cleaning out said garage, getting rid of some garbage and whatnot. Here's something that fascinates me about this fair city.

I grew up in the country. When I wanted to throw something away, I put it at the end of my driveway. But the big stuff, my dad and I would leave in the garage until we had a truckload of it. Then we'd load up the truck and head to the dump. It took a few hours when all was said and done, and I managed to get pretty rank and dirty in the process. It wasn't a whole lot of fun. But in Peoria, for the big stuff, all you have to do is put it in an alley and someone will take it away. Not a trash man, a "scrapper". Scrappers hunt for heavy pieces of recyclable garbage to collect on, or valuable garbage to pawn, or broken garbage to fix and sell (I know this because I work with a guy who has a buddy who is a scrapper and makes a pretty decent living at it. Not a millionaire, but probably more than working at McDonalds or something). Last night I put out a dish washer, microwave, fan, satellite dish, coffee table, and printer for the scrappers to do whatever they needed to do with. Within HOURS, the dish washer was gone. By the time I went to bed, everything but the coffee table was gone. This morning, all the trash, including the coffee table, was gone. I suspect the real garbage men took the coffee table, but still. I've always known about the scrappers and even "used their services" when I had a couch to get rid of, but will need to keep them in mind for the future. It's a good way to get rid of stuff without having to do virtually any work. Thank you, scrappers.

Anyway, Jaimee and I also stopped by Big Lots for random stuff and Kinko's for boxes. Tonight I finish cleaning the garage. Yes, it was a 2 day affair. It was messy in there. My goal is to clear out the whole garage to give Jaimee half of it in the moving process and the other half could actually hold my car. That would be nice.

I left work

2004-07-25T17:00:00-07:00

I left work a little early on Friday after a disturbing email from Jaimee about a broken water softener and pools of water in the basement. The problem was pretty much solved by the time I got home, so I did a bit of mopping, then headed to Dynasty Buffet for lunch with Alan, Fabish, and Angie. Friday night was Kouri's night with the regular crew, plus Dub and Joshy T. I fell asleep at about 9:15.

I took a nice long walk on Saturday, followed by a nice long bike ride. I'm doing pretty good with this exercise thing lately.

Brian was in town, so I went to Kelleher's with him, his girlfriend Kathleen, and John.

Sunday I worked on the comic, then went to Chili's with Bryan and Jaimee, then to Napoleon Dynamite with Bryan J and Bryan J. To keep my review of the movie short and to the point: it was hilarious. I loved it.

And now I'm back at work. And this concludes my lamest entry ever.

I'm really having

2004-07-27T17:00:00-07:00

I'm really having trouble resisting the urge to get a sweet ass T-Mobile phone. Just minutes ago I even filled out my information on a site selling T-Mobile phones for cheap. I was a split second away from hitting that submit button. The weird thing is that I don't think I would have a hard time justifying 2 cell phones, but with Jaimee leaving, I'll actually have 3. And that's too many.

Speaking of which, who wants Jaimee's LG 6000? It's going for around $200 on eBay, but I'd sell it to anyone reading this for $150. Or I'll give it to you if you do an assumption of service and take over the remainder of her contract. Or if you're a good friend, I'll loan it to you for a few months if you pay me for the service. I'm just not at all looking forward to dealing with that second line.

It's been a

2004-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a strange few days. Jaimee was out of town, so I got my first taste of what it will be like to come home to an empty house, sleep in an empty bed, and not get dinner made for me. It will be okay.

I exchanged my free 20" TV for a 27" TV of the same brand, and it's sweet. It makes cool video game noises when you turn it on and off, which is a bonus. I also went out to Kouris with Alan, Angie, Mullens, Jenny, and her new beau, Ben. I stayed out a bit late, and woke up crazy tired, but that didn't last. I wonder if the only difference between 7 and 8 hours of sleep is the 5 minutes when you first wake up.

Last night I went out to my parents' house to see my Aunt Cathy and Dave and Robert and Jack. That kid gets cuter every day.

I can't belive Todd Glass lost to Jay. I mean, I think Jay is funny, sure. But not funnier than Todd. Ah well.

My guess for the winner: Gary Gulman.

Not a bad

2004-08-01T17:00:00-07:00

Not a bad weekend, considering. Friday night was Jaimee's last night with the gang, and we went to Kouri's, as per usual. I wasn't feeling up to the Richard's trip later that night, so I went to bed early.

Saturday morning was the day. Jaimee left. It was sad. I took a few hours afterwards to mope around and not do anything. I called Mullens who was actually pretty considerate and nice about the whole thing. Angie and I went out to visit him at his mom's restaurant and ate lunch. She went to work and I went home, and an hour or 2 later, Alan stopped by to see if I was doing okay. Fabish called a little while later, as did my parents and sister. It was nice to have that many people worry about me enough to take some time out of their day to help a brotha out.

That night Mullens, Alan and I went to Hooters, drank some beer and ate some wings and looked at some hot girls in tight clothes. Mullens treated me to Karaoke night at Jimmy's, which wasn't as bad as I had expected. Brynn stopped by with her boyfriend, and Angie came by after work. Dave Sutton and his crazy girlfriend also stopped and said hi. We went downtown for a bit after that, and I proceeded to get extremely, ridiculously drunk. But it was fun.

Sunday I spent hungover, watching Tremors 3 and 4, both of which were actually better than 2, and feeling sorry for myself, all while trying to keep myself hydrated and popping aspirin. Alan stopped by again at around 5, and we ordered some pizza and watched some TV. The pizza made me feel about a thousand times better, so we went to see Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, which had its moments but overall wasn't as funny as I expected.

My house is already messy, and I haven't really felt like cleaning it. Things aren't miserable, though. Life goes on.

I must say

2004-08-03T17:00:00-07:00

I must say, The Bourne Supremacy was better than the first. Although I hate it when movies are completely confusing, but then like an hour in, they explain the whole thing. I don't mind it when a movie ends all confusing, because then you try and sort it out for a while. But they deliberately left out a bunch of important information, then just went ahead and filled in the gaps for you near the end of the movie. I say either make it confusing all the way through, or explain everything as it happens. There are notable exceptions (like Memento, for example), but I hate watching a movie always wondering "wait, uh, should I know what's going on right now?". Anyway. It was good. My favorite part was when the guy died, and there was that explosion, and the chase scene.

And then, and THEN, there was Last Comic Standing, with my man John tearin' it up. Gary? Gary? Where the hell were you last night? That sucked! Well, not sucked, but your set wasn't great and you seemed nervous as shit. Kathleen, it was nice seeing you. You won't be back next week, due to your extreme sucktitude and lameosity. Tammy, where do I start? You were funny last night, and for the first time didn't start your set with the same lame "some are in the witness protection program" joke. Why did you wait all this time to be funny? I hope you don't come back simply because you weren't funny for the whole season, but you were kind of a bitch. And then you called yourself hot, which was way out of line (because you're not). Alonzo, I didn't have much faith in you, but you surprised me. Jay, yeah, same old Jay. My vote is for Todd Glass. Oh, wait.

And finally today, kids, there was the storm last night that rocked my nuts off. It woke me up at around 2:30 like a punch in the face and kept me up for 20 minutes or so, with the rain and the thunder and the flashes of light and whatnot. Good stuff.

So I heard

2004-08-04T17:00:00-07:00

So I heard a conversation earlier between 2 40ish types. Both looked in reasonable shape for their age. Then they mentioned how they started "exercising", by taking a walk.

Let me interject something for a second. I think walking is great, and I wouldn't discourage it. However, I think calling it "execise" is a stretch. It helps with weight loss and burns calories, sure, but it doesn't really get you "in shape", which I guess is the distinction for me.

Anyway, whatever. This person who mentioned walking followed the statement by "for half an hour", then followed that by saying how tired she was and woke up in pain. From a walk! A walk! Walking! The most basic human function which she'd been doing for like 38 years!

It's no secret that since I've started exercising again, its been a little more painful and harder than it was last time. I don't want to end up 40 and having trouble walking, so I'm working out with more resolve than ever before. Tonight was a 2 mile jog, followed by weight lifting for the first time in 5 or 6 months (and my arms will kill tomorrow, I reckon), and in about half an hour I'm taking a bike ride to Polk's for Last Comic Standing, in which Gary, John, and... uh... Alonzo? will move on to the next round.

And my legs hurt. No pain, no gain, bitches.

While I'm updating

2004-08-04T17:00:00-07:00

While I'm updating wirelessly and all, let me also comment on Taco Bell and how much I love the chicken quesadilla. However, the new commercial in which it is featured makes me never want to buy it again. The commercial features a guy with a Subway sandwich and the Taco Bell guy in the same cab, and its all about how portable the quesadilla is.

If you have to start selling your food, edible food, as "portable", well, it's time to throw in the towel. Its almost enough to make me never want to buy another one.

Almost. I'll still buy another one. Don't worry, Taco Bell.

In other news, I have no idea when to use "it's" vs. "its". I used to opt to always use the apostrophed version, but on second thought, I'm opting for the unapostrophed. I figure either will be wrong approximately 50% of the time, and I'd rather go for the one with one less character.

Friday was Kouri's

2004-08-08T17:00:00-07:00

Friday was Kouri's with Polk and, briefly, Christine (or was it Christina... whichever). It reminded me of old times when Polk and I first started the tradition without any other willing participants. After dropping Polk off at Circuit City, I headed over to Fabish's to chill, smoke a cigar, and drink a few beers. It was a good night and Winnie was doing a good job supressing her urge to kill Abby and all was good, until later in the night when Winnie attacked ChooChooBoneWagon and I got bitten seperating them, while Fabish got scratched. That wasn't so good, but the rest of the night was fun.

Saturday was a lazy day, and I worked on Optimus most of the day. I ate dinner with my parents and fell asleep on the couch really early (and hence missed your call, Wolfie. Sorry). I woke up just in time to catch 2, count 'em, 2 different documentaries on DB Cooper. For some reason, I got totally freaked out by them. I don't know why, since it was just a plane hijacking 30some years ago, and a few thousand miles away, and it was documentaries on the Discovery channel, but I was all freaked out and couldn't get to sleep.

Sunday I woke up and took my normal jog with my fat dog, then caught up on some TV watching. Later in the day, Alan, Angie and I took our bikes out to Rock Island Trail. We went 10 miles and set the goal at 14 next week. Apparently the whole trail is 25 miles, 50 round trip, and I really want to do the whole 50 sometime this year. That would be fun.

Anyhoo, after that Alan made me help him install a new stereo system in his car. It's no secret that car stereos used to be a big hobby of mine, and I'm no stranger to terms like amps, crossovers, preouts, and tweeters, but this was a huge job. We basically dismantled the whole inside of his car and ran a ton of new speaker wires, ground wires, and preouts anywhere we could fit them, being careful to run the power lines seperate from the speaker wires to minimize interference. To make matters more complicated, every speaker in his car was door mounted and we needed to run new wires into the doors. Sounds easy, but it wasn't. I was particularly proud of my fabrication job to mount the new tweeters in the door which weren't really the right size. Anyway, 6 hours of work and basically everything was wired up but needed ends put on to actually connect them to the speakers/amp. This was the easy part. Except that it was 9:30 and pitch black. We got 1 speaker working to ensure we didn't mess up anything too badly, and it worked. 6 hours of work and we were rewarded by a country song playing through 1 1.5" tweeter. It sounded great. Well worth the trouble.

I actually had a lot of fun doing all that. I miss the car stereo game. I need a new car I can pimp out like that, and this time, with video. I've never done the video thing in a car.

Polk came over

2004-08-10T17:00:00-07:00

Polk came over last night to watch the next-to-last episode of Last Comic Standing. Everyone did really well, but I still think John is gonna win it all. Maybe Gary. It'll be close. I was glad Gary told more jokes involving cookies. That's important. I did think that the overused joke was going to go to Tammy and her "witness protection" stuff.

For some reason, I had this strong Long John Silver's craving last night, so I stopped by after work to pick up the healthiest dinner I've ever had. It consisted of 3 slices of grease sitting on top of a pile of grease. It was delicious. As I was sitting in the drive through, John Zarr walked up to my door and we chatted a bit while I got my food. We half-made plans to go out to Mullens' restaurant tonight, so we'll see what happens there.

I look good in this shirt. I should wear this shirt more often.

So the Taste

2004-08-11T17:00:00-07:00

So the Taste of Peoria was last night. I headed down with Mullens and Anna and was promised that we'd meet other people down there. We didn't. It was just me being the third wheel the whole time. It was fun though. The highlights being the 2 crazy drunk guys dancing to the bands, the little kid dancing, and seeing Polk seconds after mentioning to Mullens he was supposed to be down there. I ran into a few other random people as well, and it ended up being a good time, despite the fact I was just tagging along with their plans.

As we were leaving, we had about $3 worth of coupons and nothing to do with them. Anna said she was going to find someone to give them away to, so I told her she needed to give them to a hot girl. Lightbulbs went off in both Mullens and Anna's head, and they ended up making me hunt down a group of hot girls to give the tickets to, since I need to "get into the habit" or whatever. So I found a group of girls, gave them the money, and they giggled like teenagers and instantly annoyed me. Then we left.

Angie called and wanted pizza delivered to her job. I said she should call Wolford, because I'm so hilarious. I ended up taking her some, and taking Winnie for a ride in the process.

Tonight is the finale of Last Comic Standing. It's going to be great.

Dear August Are

2004-08-12T17:00:00-07:00

Dear August,

Are you having some sort of odd identity crisis? You are not October, so please, stop trying to be October. You're a good month, and it's time you stopped impersonating other months and were just your own month.

Mid-August in Central Illinois should be in the mid-nineties. It's not like I'm looking forward to the electical bills, but c'mon, I'm not ready for fall yet.

I like wearing shorts to show off my nice legs, so please, August, just warm back up to where you're supposed to be. I've dealt with your mid-sixties nonsense without complaining for 3 or 4 days now, and it's time you got it together, got back up to at least 90, and maybe rained a little more often.

Thank you for your time,
Residents of Central Illinois

It's been a

2004-08-14T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a crazy busy weekend so far, with a bit more craziness to go before it's done.

Friday I got off work and headed to Mullens' mom's restaurant for lunch with him, Angie, and John. Then we ran some various errands where I picked up all new furniture for my living room.

It was also my sister's birthday, so I headed out to my parents' house to spend some time with her and my newphews and eat pizza and cake.

Friday night was Polk's party, and it was a friggin' blast. I had planned on staying for an hour or 2, but ended up there until about 2:15. As 1209towanda was playing, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I figured it was some underage kid asking me to buy them beer or something, but I turned around and who do I see but the infamous Schwa! Schwa! Holy shit! How was this possible? We caught up just a little, as best we could with all the loudness going on mere feet away, before he lurked back into the shadows and asked me not to tell anyone he was there. I kept the secret for a good, solid 10 minutes before Dayv let it slip out. It was nice to see the kid again.

Speaking of people it was nice to see, here's a short list of them: Polk, Timmy D, Joshy T, Kate, Wolfie, Tiffany, Mullens (and unexpected arrival), R. Kelly (AKA Trickypants), Dayv, Forrest, and even Emma just to cover all my bases. And of course the strangers. It was good seeing them. Anyway, it was a fun time.

Saturday morning I got up early for some reason. I took Winnie for a long walk then came home and started assembling my new furniture (yes, it's that kind of furniture). Polk and I had half-planned eating lunch at Kouri's, half since we skipped it on Friday and hlf because Schwa could attend for the first time in many moons. Schwa didn't attend, but Polk and I did. We ran into Jeremy and Bean, who I haven't seen for a long time either. By some weird coincidence, we ran into them again a few hours later at a different location. Weird.

Anyway, then we met Schwa at Mocha Joes and went mini-golfing and out for ice cream. Good times. That night I finished assembling my furniture, then went out to see Collateral and eat some Chili's with Angie.

And here I am on Sunday. Mullens' birthday is Tuesday, so there's some barbeque for him today. I don't know when or where. I'll go to that, then spend the rest of the day doing whatever I feel like (which is probably nothing, but maybe it's painting my living room).

So Sunday I

2004-08-15T17:00:00-07:00

So, Sunday I went to pick up Mullens' birthday present, then headed out to Anna's grandparent's farm for a little barbeque, fireworks, and presents.

I left early so we'd have time for the weekly bike ride on Rock Island Trail, which ended up being 16 miles instead of 14. Then to Pizza Hut, then home to watch Edward Scissorhands and go to sleep early.

I can't believe I forgot to mention the awesomest thing that happened this weekend. While mini-golfing with Polk and Schwa, a couple of punk kids were making their way through the course and walked right by us. As they did, one tried to take a short cut through this "forest" right next to us, and got completely stuck in the tree in the process. I tried not to laugh, since the poor kid was only 10 or so and didn't need my mockery, but after a few seconds of him trying to struggle his way out of the tree I couldn't hold it in any more. So I laughed at the poor kid. Hard, too. I laughed about as hard as I do during AFV every week. Schwa and Polk just stood there looking embarrassed for me, and I just kept laughing. Good times.

So I got

2004-08-16T17:00:00-07:00

So I got home last night and immediately started vegetating while watching some Forensic Files or whatever show I could find when I heard a knock on the door. It was Jen and Ben, just stopping by because they were in the area and wanted to see what I've been doing to the house, since she hadn't been there in a long time and he'd never been there. It was a nice surprise. We made plans to meet up later that night.

I took Winnie for a ride out to Avanti's, got some grub, then more vegetating. Around 9:30, I headed to Jimmy's to wish Mullens an early happy birthday, where I met Angie and Ben and Jen. Jenny and Angie talked about nursing and patients and such while my eyes glazed over and I kept waiting for Mullens to stop getting people drinks and start doing a better job of keeping me occupied. But such is life.

And now, I'd like to comment on terrible drivers. I admit that I am a road rager. I can't deny it. I'm a laid-back guy who doesn't let much bother him, until I start driving. At that point, everyone makes me furious. On my morning commute (I call it a commute, but it's actually about 3 miles), there's only 2 types of drivers. Overly cautious and overly dipshittish.

I was behind an old lady in a minivan turning left. We got a green arrow. The first car went as it was supposed to, and this stupid old lady just sat in the middle of the intersection. With a green arrow. Sure, I honked, even after I noticed the wheelchair in the back, which didn't make me feel especially good about myself, but I was in a hurry. It had no effect. She waited until our green arrow disappeared and the other lane cleared before making her turn, with me stuck behind her.

The other thing that pisses me off is people who will dart in front of you, only to stop in the right lane in front of you when you want to make a right turn. Because this crap nugget was in such a hurry to get in front of you, you're now slowed down for the duration of the stop light. If he had just merged behind you, you could have turned and he would have ended up in the same spot. In a similar vein, I hate people who bolt in front of you, cut you off, then slam on their brakes to make a turn. GET BEHIND ME, JERK. For that matter, people who bolt in front of you for any reason. Especially when no one is behind you. Like that 1 car length difference is going to make a huge enough time difference in getting where you're going to justify you being an idiot.

Don't even get me started on 4 way stops, imaginary stop signs, and trying to get in front of everyone at a construction zone (a technique that is not only annoying and creepy, but also dangerous).

And that's my rant for today.

here and here.

2004-08-17T17:00:00-07:00

here, and here.

Very significant.

I took another

2004-08-17T17:00:00-07:00

I took another step into adulthood yesterday. I bought a suit.

I have a formal dinner/dance thing with my work on Friday and I didn't own a suit, had never bought one, and didn't know the first thing about buying one. Thankfully, the nice man at Men's Warehouse was able to get me measured and suited up and looking sassy.

I will say that buying a suit was a miserable experience, and I hated pretty much every second I was there. One guy would measure me, then another would come up and estimate what the first had just measured. And while I'm at it, I hated being measured, having strange men hug me to get the tape around my chest and waist. It wasn't like buying a shirt where you just try it on, it was getting measured, trying on, getting poked and pulled for adjustments, then trying another shirt. In the end, it took over an hour and a small fortune to get out the door.

But now I have a suit, and I shouldn't have to do that again for a year or 3.

Then I took a 3.5 mile jog. It wore me out pretty good.

Wow. Just. Wow.

2004-08-17T17:00:00-07:00

Wow. Just. Wow.

Last night I

2004-08-18T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I went to Richard's with Polk, where I had an amazing turkey and swiss sandwich and we talked about everything under the sun. It was a good night.

After I got home, I remembered I needed some personal hygiene products, so Winnie and I started the trek up to Walgreens, the slightly further away one for good measure. It was such a great walk. It was almost storming, but not quite. There was huge flashes of light and it smelled like rain. As we got closer to Walgreens, it started raining, so I picked up the pace a bit. We made it, slightly wet, and I got my shopping done. By then it was raining hard, so I called Angie to come pick us up and take us home.

I guess the moral of the story is that thunderstorms are awesome, but bring an umbrella.

From now on

2004-08-19T17:00:00-07:00

From now on, I will never go out without my own vehicle present. I'm getting sick and tired of people changing plans in the middle of the night, forcing me to either be somewhere I don't want to be or drive someone else's car home, making it a big event when it comes to exchanging keys, making plans for pick up, etc. Never again.

That said, I went out to Gorman's with Mullens and some other toolbox, drank some cheap brew and ate some good wings. Then he went out with toolbox and a few others, and dropped me off at Kouri's where Angie was there with other toolboxes. She'd said she would be leaving around the same time I got there, but plans were changed again, so I stayed long enough to introduce myself to her friends and figure out I was way cooler than they were. Then I took Angie's car home.

Tonight is my formal dinner dance.

A long time

2004-08-20T17:00:00-07:00

A long time ago, in a house not far away, there was a party. I, of course, was in attendance and, of course, relatively drunk.

There was also a frat party going on next door, and a lot of girls were walking in wearing either very few or very small clothes. I wasn't complaining.

But, this crazy girl Liz certainly was. Complaining, and complaining loud, even going to such extents as yelling at the girls next door. It was kind of funny for a while, then it got annoying, then it got really carried away. Finally one of the girls and her boyfriend came over to our party to say something to Liz. A small fight followed, and I played the part of "the guy sitting on the porch swing who caught the other guy's glasses when Liz knocked them off after slapping him". Liz then stormed off in a crazy tantrum and hid somewhere in the house. We apologized and all was forgotten, until the cops showed up.

Seems crazy Liz called the piggies in about the conflict, yet she was still nowhere to be seen. They asked a few questions to various party goers, but didn't stick around long.

Alan and I took it upon ourselves to go next door and make peace with the house, assuring them that Angie and her roommates had nothing to do with the conflict. Of course, I was really drunk and probably not making much sense. This was about 4 years and some change ago.

The reason I bring it up now is because of a related story I heard a day or 2 back. I met Angie at Kouri's and stayed for all of 10 seconds, but one of the people I met said I looked fimilar and spent a couple minutes trying to place me. Well, it turns out he lived in the house next door that I went into to make peace. I must be very memorable. In any event, Angie and whateverthisguysnamewas used to be neighbors and never knew it. In any case, Drunk Alan and Drunk Me were way more effective in making peace than I thought we were.

And that's my funny coincidence story of the day.

Ah fun weekend

2004-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, fun weekend, but busy, too.

So Friday I get off work and meet Wolfie at my place. He treated me to lunch at Avanti's to thank me for all the hard work I was about to put into his car. So we eat and get some brake pads and go back to my place and start working. I'd changed a few pairs of brakes in my life, but not for a few years, and my memory was sketchy. Still, it went off without too many hitches. The hardest part was unfusing the brake shoes from the rotors, since Wolfie had opted to not get his brakes changed in... oh, probably forever. The rotors were in terrible shape, all scratched up and pitted and warped looking from his months of neglect. I laughed a bit and broke a screwdriver before finishing the job.

Then I hunted a bit for the shoes, tie, and belt I bought for my suit (I left them outside. Oops.), then headed to pick them up. Then it was on to my formal dinner dance with Angie.

It was awesome. The chocolate fountain was really, really, really good, and I recommend chocolate covered pineapple to anyone reading this, even though it sounds disgusting. Martinis aren't my thing. I had a vodka classic, which took about 45 minutes to choke down. Angie's chocolate martini was better, but I wouldn't be caught dead holding one of those, since I am a dude. We had good conversation with all my coworkers, and everyone was really nice and in a good mood and having a good time. Dinner was excellent... steak and chicken and potatoes.

At some point I don't exactly remember since I was getting tipsy, Polk stopped by. He fit right in wearing his fancy suit. A bit later we met Wolfie and The Brandon, looking slobbish compared to us, and we played video games. After beating Brandon in bowling and Angie in basketball, we headed to Richards. I was all geared up for Al's, but Angie was drizunk and needed to get home, so I called it a night later than usual but earlier than I wanted to. It was a fun night.

Saturday I sat around a lot and didn't so much else. That night I put my suit back on and went to a wedding of 2 people I only kind of know. I was Angie's date again. The wedding was all depressy, focusing on how crappy marriage is, and how hard, and how you won't have any friends after you get married. It was truly bizarre. At the reception I had the honor of hearing the worst best man speech I've ever heard. And I had to pay for beer, and dinner was just cold cut sandwiches. So that was sort of lame.

We left early, despite the nice conversation I was having with the hot girl across the table, and headed to Jimmy's to meet Brynn. We had a couple drinks, but called it a night early. I went home and got out of my suit, which was a nice feeling. I mean, I like the suit and all, but wearing it that much in a weekend was too much. I put on my shitty clothes and headed to Polk's to hang out with The Brandon and Polk and Dayv a bit. I was tired and didn't stay long, but will aim for longer next time.

Sunday, I had big plans to clean and do laundy and such. I spent the morning just sitting around and watching TV, and I decided I was having such a great time that I would just keep doing that all day. So that's pretty much what I did. I went to dinner with the family in the evening (the highlight being when the waitress was taking drink orders and Jack yelled out "I want Root Beer!". Everyone, including the waitress, started laughing. Later he told her about his plans to go to Wildlife Prarie Park. He's a charmer). After that I went home and did a bit more sitting around.

So it was a good weekend. I have a bit of an upset belly now. The end.

Life After Jaimee

2004-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

Hello, first ever filtered entry. I'd never bothered to set up filters until this very moment, and I've set this one to include everyone I know in real life, with the exception of Jaimee. The reason for that is because 1. It seems I don't really know her anymore, and 2. I'm going to do a lot of talking about her that I don't want her hearing.

You're reading this right now because I consider you to be a good friend, and will do a bit of soul bearing here and may say some things you may not want to know. I also trust you enough not to relay any of this to Jaimee, despite how meaningless it may seem to you to do so. Wolfie, I'm talking directly to you here.

I'm going to try to be as honest as possible about what's going on without shitting all over everything Jaimee and I used to have, although I can't make any promises that there won't be bad-mouthing (about both myself and her) contained below. So read on if you want, and if not, feel free to skip it.

Jaimee and I were on and off for over 3 years. That's a long time. Over the course of those 3 years, we both did some really shitty things to each other. I ignored her, I treated her like she wasn't a significant person in my life, I sometimes ignored the way she felt about me. She told me multiple times that she never wanted to talk to me again and that she was a worse person for having known me. Yeah, in the beginning, we were disfunctional and twisted and the kind of couple I hate knowing or hearing about. She made me miserable, and I did the same to her sometimes.

But in our own twisted ways, we did love each other. And eventually we worked through the craziness and were a good, solid couple. I had chalked up our previous problems to us being young and long distance. When she moved to Peoria the first time, things were perfect. We'd hang out in large groups and she'd get along with everyone. We only had 1 or 2 fights in the 8 or 9 months she lived here, which was a pretty good track record, considering. We basically started over, and things were good. Money problems split us up, and she moved to New Mexico to be with her mom.

Within 2 months, she called me up saying she probably wasn't coming back and started making plans to get the rest of her stuff out there. I was pretty broken up about it, as would be expected, and begged her to change her mind. Finally she did, and we had some struggles in the 10 months she was gone. Namely, Dana. Despite what she says now, I absolutely told her about Dana while she was gone, during the time I was hanging out with her. Just ask Alan, who I was living with at the time. He'd hear me yelling at Jaimee over the phone, just trying to explain what was going on while she threw a tantrum on the other end. Ask him how vacant and emotionally drained I looked following a 45 minute conversation I didn't want to have about Dana.

In the end, and even in the process, the Dana situation was an insignificant and meaningless crush I had on a cute girl with a cool car who paid attention to me. That's all she was. But not to Jaimee.

So, yes, I started covering up when I hung out with her. I knew it was meaningless, and my friends knew it was meaningless. Shit, I never even kissed the girl. So when Jaimee asked what I did on certain weekends, I would leave Dana's name out whenever possible.

I also didn't do a good job of replying to her emails or comments she'd send. To my credit, I'm terrible at replying to emails. I get so much fanboy nonsense even to this day, but imagine last summer in the midst of my magazine articles and TV appearance, they'd get lost in the shuffle and reading and replying to my email tuned into a huge and frustrating chore. And after a couple months of her telling me how miserable she was in Peoria and how she wasn't coming back, why did I owe it to her to reply?

And then it was her sister's wedding. I was really shitty here, just to warn you. Really shitty. She surprised me by coming into town early and calling me, saying she was going to spend the night at my house and I would take her to the wedding the next day. I didn't want to do that, so I lied to her and told her I was with my dad at a car show and wouldn't even be home that night. She skipped coming to Peoria and went right to Chicago, and I spent the day feeling like shit her having lied to her.

Why did I do it? No good reason, really, but a lot of small, petty reasons (the only reason to be an asshole, if you ask me). First off, I wasn't even looking forward to seeing her at the wedding. A few months of her telling me how miserable she was with me and how she wasn't coming home took it's toll on me, and seeing her would have been extremely weird. Also, I wanted an easy out. I wanted to visit her in Chicago so that if things were awkward and different, I could leave early. If she came to my house, she'd be stuck there and I'd have to drive her to Chicago. I was honestly expecting her to tell me, face to face, that she wasn't coming back and I didn't want to have that conversation face to face. I wanted to have it on the phone when I could hang up. Or, if it needed to be face to face, I could leave when things came to yelling. So I lied like a bastard.

I hadn't lied to her up until that point. I had left out some stuff with Dana, but none of it was serious stuff. Times when I went out with a huge group, I would leave Dana's name out of the recap. Times I'd see a movie or something with her, I just wouldn't mention who I saw it with. Not exactly honest, but not lies either. This was a lie, and not a pretty one, and I felt really shitty about it. The small amount of justification I convinced myself of didn't help. Not one bit.

Anyway, so I went up the next day to visit her. And things were great. They really were. They were exactly how I remembered them. Proof that, without any outside forces, Jaimee and I are perfect. The wedding was sometime within the next few days, and it was awkward but okay for the most part. She came down to be with me in Peoria and things were still perfect, despite her being on the sick side. I think that visit made her change her mind about coming back, because I know it changed my mind about wanting her back. I stopped hanging out with Dana, even though I knew it was just a simple crush the whole time and nothing for me to be concerned about. I just didn't want any drama related to the ordeal in my life.

In the weeks that followed, I kept calling her and trying to keep up with her life. I still wasn't great at the emailing thing, and I guess sometimes it seemed like my busy life got in the way of keeping in touch with her. And in a way, it did.

What's next is really sensitive information, people, so please keep it under wraps. I'm begging you.

What's next is that she told me about her miscarriage. Well, OUR miscarriage. We'd slept together during the visit to her sister's wedding, and even though she used birth control, she got pregnant. She didn't even know about until after the miscarriage. As you can imagine, that caused some huge mental anguish for both of us, and I couldn't be there for her and she couldn't be there for me, and I wasn't particularly eager to tell anyone about it. It caused issues. Lots of issues. Bad ones. I'm not good when it comes to dealing with situations like those. I'm sure I did a couple things wrong in dealing with it, but to my credit, I'd never had to deal with it before.

Anyway, so a few months later she was back in town, and things were perfect again. For about 4 months, things were really good. Then they started to fall apart.

She wasn't working, I was paying for everything, and she was miserable and taking it out on me. She was a huge bitch to me sometimes, starting fights about things that didn't need to be fought, bringing up stuff with Dana to use as ammunition, and insulting my friends. In addition, she was unappriative of my financial support, as well as mental support when it came to the job hunt and things like that. She would make snide, underhanded comments about me and my life and my friends that grinded away at my soul and my sanity, the whole time I was supporting her and letting her live in my home.

But I was convinced I was happy through it all. I mean, this is what I wanted, right?

In retrospect, I was miserable. I hated not knowing where anything was in my own home. I hated that she treated her dog better than mine. I hated her comments about how lost I would be without her, despite me being the one supporting her, despite me being the one with all the friends, and despite that I had lived on my own for years before she was ever living with me. I hated her bad mouthing my friends, and I hated constantly making the excuse that things would be better when she got a job she liked. I hated whenever she'd refer to being "stuck" in Peoria, or how she'd complain about money and say that me supporting her made her feel bad when I thought I was doing a nice thing (and never rubbing it in, by the way).

But through it all, I really did have faith that things would get better and be like how I remembered them.

So one Friday she told me they'd never be better, and she'd always be miserable with me, and how I had done irrepairable damage concerning the Dana situation. I didn't know how to react.

That Monday I got home from work and she was looking through the classifieds. I asked her why she was doing that, and told her that she had to go. I refused to make her like miserable, and I refused to let her make my life miserable. She had to go. Almost instantly, as if it was a relief, she told me she'd move in with her sister.

And in a way, it was a relief to both of us. At the same time, I was bitter and pissed off that she'd made these sister plans months ago, as an escape if she needed one. What kind of committment is that?

I tried to convince myself I wasn't bitter and angry about how everything went down. I know it's for the best, and I know we'll both be happier in the long run. But I still can't help but be bitter for some reason. I'd done so much and invested so much, just to have her always have an escape route. To have her leave me twice when I probably should have learned my lesson after the first time. I wish that if she'd decided she didn't want to get married and live with me, why did she wait until I adjusted my whole life to make room for her before she changed her mind suddenly. It would have been easier if she'd just stayed in New Mexico, and I hate that I was just her escape route from New Mexico when she decided she was bored there.

So, yeah, I'm more bitter than I thought I was, but that will fade in time.

For now, I'm enjoying being with my friends again without having to pussy foot around Jaimee telling her where I'd be. I enjoy my friends telling me I seem happier already. I enjoy doing whatever I want in my own house without being scolded, and I left the situation with a much more solid idea in my head of who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just wish I didn't have to waste so much time, money, and energy to get there.

We both made mistakes, and a lot of them too. I guess, in retrospect, it was only a matter of time before all the bad crushed all the good there ever was. I'm better off, and so is she. I can do whatever I want and enjoy my life, and find someone who will enjoy my life with me rather than feel stifled by it.

And thanks, friends who are reading this, for not taking it too hard or having hard feelings about me when it seemed I was ignoring you. I know I turned into that guy I hate who disappears after he gets a girlfriend, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again. You guys are the ones who are always there for me, and who don't judge me or make me feel bad for certain decisions, and who cheer me up when I feel like shit rather than be the ones who make me feel like shit. You're the best friends in the world, and I didn't lose sight of that in my absence... I guess I just ignored it or figured you'd still be there when I got the Jaimee shit sorted out. Anyway, thanks guys. And I'm even talking to those friends who don't read this silly thing, like Mullens and Angie and Fabish and Alan. Being in my life and knowing you guys, Jaimee should have felt honored, not stuck.

In many ways, I do still love her as a person. She's got a ton of the qualities of a person I ultimately want to end up with, but some of the qualities I was fascinated by are the ones that split us up. I still think she's a good person who good things will happen to, and I hope she gets everything she's looking for. I'm just not sorry anymore that I'm not it.

So I went

2004-08-23T17:00:00-07:00

So I went and saw Aliens VS Predator last night with John, and I'll cut my review because there will be a lot of spoilers, even though I know anyone interested in seeing the movie has already seen it.

If this movie doesn't sweep the Oscars Titantic style, then I will know there is no justice in this world. I have never seen such a perfect piece of wonderfulness in my life (except for the Evil Dead movies).

Within 17 seconds, I knew they made this movie especially for me. It started on my 25th birthday. No shit. So then there's this hot girl all climbing rocks and stuff, and I was already thinking that she was going to live all the way through, since she was hot and climbing rocks. And she did. And she was awesome and hot.

So then there was a lot of plot building and other crap no one really cares about, but then the Predators arrived, looking sweet, mostly original, and ready to kill people. And kill people they did. I loved how the kept the old school 90%-invisible-10%-weirdwarpness thing with the Predator.

So then for a while there's no Aliens. Just the Predators killing people, which was sweet because Predators have half as many movies as Aliens, so they deserved a bit of extra screen time, if you ask me. Finally face huggers are everywhere, hugging everyone's faces and Aliens are bursting out of chests left and right, and finally a Predator catches on fire but it doesn't slow him down. Then they start fighting and there's acid blood and neon blood everywhere, and a flashback with a million Aliens and Predators as Gods and everything is perfect and sweet.

And so I'm sitting there thinking that this movie can't possibly get any cooler, and then, THEN, the Predator rips apart an Alien and makes a shield out of the head and a spear out of the tail and this hot girl is running around wearing parts of an Alien while kicking ass with a Predator, and now I'm certain that this movie can't get sweeter.

But then the mother Alien breaks loose and decides that her babies have done enough ass kicking and it's time for her to do some. So she's all running around and trying to kill the hot girl and the Predator, but instead of dying, she straps the mother to some big iron thing I don't even care what it was and sends him to the bottom of the ocean. Oh yeah, and the mother killed Predator, but by this point you don't care because the movie has been so sweet that the cool guy can die if he wants.

And then, Predator 2 style, the ship and about a billion Predators all appear out of nowhere and, Predator 2 style, they let the person live. And then an Alien bursts out of the dead Predator's body and it fades to black.

Sure, continuity errors abound and the incubation period of the Aliens was different than the original, but I think overall they did a good job of paying homage to the other series without making up crap and making it stupid. It was marvelous. MARVELOUS!

I forgot to

2004-08-24T17:00:00-07:00

I forgot to mention Mullens and I joking around about a somewhat trivial event that happened about 6 years ago. We were at Garners with Angie and Steph, eating pizza and watching TV. At one point, I took the parmesan cheese container under the table and unscrewed the top, and left it on the table. Everyone saw me do it, and the lid was on all crookedy and looking completely unnatural. A few seconds later, Mullens, completely engrossed in his TV show, poured the cheese all over his pizza, leaving a huge mountain and no visable slice. Me, Angie, and Steph were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe, but Mullens was unphased. He shook off his pizza and then ate it as if nothing had happened. When I caught my breath, I asked him how it tasted. He replied "Tastes like poopy." We all started laughing again, and Mullens, straight faced, went back to watching his TV show.

So we're at Monicals joking back to that night. A minute later, I pick up the parmesan cheese and spill the entire contents all over my pizza. The only difference was that I didn't have a TV to watch, and I think I laughed harder than anyone. Good times.

Went bowling last

2004-08-24T17:00:00-07:00

Went bowling last night for the first time in a long time. I bowled an okay 135 followed by an embarassing score that will be left out of this here journal. Then we went to Monicals.

Dayv's talk of a new car just makes me really want my own new car. It's a shame that I have another 9 months until I can even start thinking about one. Probably even more than that now that I'm back in credit card debt with my suit purchase. Maybe I should sell a bunch of stuff on eBay. Maybe tonight.

First up yesterday

2004-08-25T17:00:00-07:00

First up, yesterday and the rain and the thunderstorms were awesome.

Second up, my neighbors were having a moving sale for the entire weekend. I hope that this is really a moving sale and not just a "let's say moving sale instead of garage sale" sale.

Third and last up, I don't mind getting up in the middle of the night to pee. Sure, I have to walk up and down a bunch of steps to do that, but it's not a hassle. Unless, when I get to the restroom, all I get is a small trickle. Then it's annoying. Then I hate it.

That's all I got for you today.

I saw Dayv

2004-08-26T17:00:00-07:00

I saw Dayv last night when I took Alan dinner. He was dressed fancier than I was.

So I get home and see dozens of massive mushrooms in my back yard. Dozens. And massive. They weren't there in the morning, but they were in the evening. Crazy. I kicked a few over, but it left their stems. I wonder what the best mushroom removal tool is.

So Friday after

2004-08-29T17:00:00-07:00

So Friday after work I arrived late to Kouri's for lunch with Polk. Still, late is better than never (right, Wolfie?). It was a good lunch, cut short because Polk had to go do laundry.

That night Angie and I met Anna and Mullens at JJ Ryans, then went on to Carlos O'Kelleys for dinner, then back to my place for poker night. Alan, Fabish, and Amy came back to participate. I did really well in the warm up rounds, but was first out in the real game, which was humiliating.

Saturday I didn't do anything except took a long ass bike ride by the river. It was beautiful. My new favorite bike trail. There was one point where the beach was made up of a bunch of broken up cement, and there was one big chunk of cement that jetted off into the river. There was also a little park bench sitting on the chunk, which I couldn't tell was left by the park or some punk kids who moved it there. Either way, I took a break and sat on this park bench. If you just stared straight ahead, it seemed like you were sitting on the water. I also saw some woodchucks. So that was nice.

My nephew was baptised on Sunday, so I went to that. Then on to my sister's house for a party. I left earlyish because it was kind of awkward to be by myself in a party full of couples, especially when most of the couples were Robert's family who I don't really know. Mostly I played with Jack.

Alan and I went on a long bike ride later in the day on Rock Island Trail, then went to Hooters for dinner. I had Amberbock. And that was my weekend.

So an interesting

2004-08-30T17:00:00-07:00

So, an interesting development. To me, anyway.

I, like most people on LJ, took that silly okcupid.com test a long time ago. A few weeks ago, I got an email from them that their whole service had opened up. Being newly single, I thought I'd fill out my profile and see if anyone interesting was on there. I still haven't uploaded a photo or even filled out my profile in its entirity, but I thought it was interesting that Jaimee was on my list of matches.

I looked at her profile and was shocked by how thorough it is. Complete with 2 uploaded photos, one of which I took.

I guess I'm okay with it, but a little annoyed. One of the reasons we split was because she didn't want to be in a relationship, and here she is less than a week later filling out forms on dating sites and obviously using them to meet people?

She had a comment from one of the guys she met. That guy was a douce bag, and 32 years old, with a profile that annoyed the shit out of my just reading it, much less looking at his pictures.

So that made me feel a bit better, that she's wasting her time with 32 year olds who don't have anything interesting to say but think they do, but then I realized that she left me for that life?

I mean, more than anything, I feel sorry for her. I look at my life, and I think everything is perfect. She complains about missing "something", but doesn't even know what that is. I'm not missing anything. I wake up in the morning in a nice house with a good dog, and I get ready to go to a good job where I get paid a decent wage to do a job I like. I get home and I have a bunch of friends who I can call to meet for dinner. I meet the friends, and we can have conversations about things that happened to us in the past few days, or we can remember parties we both attended from years back.

Then I can go jogging and see Fabish working in his front yard. I run into my sister sometimes in random locations. I look at all this stuff in my life, and I'm overwhelmingly happy about it all. And I look at Jaimee, who I invited with open arms into my amazingly simple but amazingly happy life, and she shrugged it off, preferring to live with her sister in Aurora (and by the way, it pisses me off when she says she lives in Chicago, since she's like 45 minutes away in a town smaller than Peoria), knowing no one but hanging out with strangers from the internet having awkard conversations about, I'm assuming, nothing of any importance. And she's living this life and thinking its better now?

Maybe I haven't lived enough, or maybe I'm not cultured enough, to understand this mindset. I just can't convince myself that different and new is somehow better. I don't know why I'd ever want to convince myself of that.

When Jaimee left, a chunk of my life left as well. But I also had a pretty easy time filling that hole, and I filled it with friends and family and everyone around who cared about me. I look at Jaimee and can't imagine her life as anything but 1 big hole at this point. It's sad.

Or maybe I'm just convincing myself of that, because in a way I'd rather feel sorry for her than be bitter about her going on dates so soon in the game.

You know I

2004-08-30T17:00:00-07:00

You know, I had a much better summer last summer. This summer has been good and all, but not the blow-out fun and drinky and wonderful summer last summer was. In an effort to make the best of our last couple of summery days, here's a short list of what I'd like to accomplish:

Drink more beer (which I've definitely been doing lately)
Go to ice cream stands more often.
More barbeques/cheddarwursts.
More hanging out with people I don't know so well.
More hanging out with people I don't see often enough (Dayv, The Brandon, Wolfie, etc., you know who you are)

So there it is. I don't have a whole lot of time to accomplish those goals, but thankfully they're not too lofty or anything.

Last night I went out boozin' and eatin' hot wings and having a grand old time. Tonight I think I'm picking up my new couch.

Bryan J, I recorded the first episode of the new LCS. You wanna come over tonight to watch it?

And speaking of LCS, I just watched The Girl Next Door, which was awesome and hilarious in its own right, but words cannot express my shock and awe at Alonzo's bit part. Craziness.

I fulfilled a

2004-08-31T17:00:00-07:00

I fulfilled a few of my goals already, heading to Jenny's barbeque and hanging out with a girl named Erin and another girl named Jenny, and the world's most boring man. It was a good time and I was home early enough to catch Road Rules. Tonight is Hoops night with more new people, and I'm going to try to get to Garden State with Polk.

Went to see

2004-09-01T17:00:00-07:00

Went to see Garden State last night, peeing no less than twice through the event and holding in the third occurance until after the movie ended. The movie was good in moments, funny in others, cliche in yet other, and tried really hard to be quirky in the leftover places. Overall I was pleased, but I guess I was expecting too much looking too forward to it, because I didn't like it as much as I thought I would.

I was supposed to go to Hoops, but I've been feeling progressively sicker lately so I skipped it. Today my throat is very sore and kind of I'm kind of stuffy headed. I'm going on vacation tonight. So that kind of sucks. If I can maintain this feeling all day, I'll still probably go. If I get worse through the day, I'll probably stay home. I'm whiney and grouchy when I'm sick, and I don't want to make other people not have fun because I'm complaining about them being too loud or something.

I hope the sore throat goes away soon.

So the vacation

2004-09-05T17:00:00-07:00

So, the vacation was really excellent. I had a wonderful time, despite my near-sickness I had the entire time.

Thursday after work, I had some packing to do and I did it feeling pretty crappy. I went and picked up Alan's car and picked up Mullens and Brynn and headed to Indiana Beach to meet Carissa and Angie and Alan, who had all been calling me about every fifteen minutes to see where I was and if I was still planning on coming. I had considered backing out because I could feel the sickness growing and I didn't want to be the sick downer guy of the trip. Either way, I made the decision to go.

So, a few hours later we arrive. Everyone but me starts drinking heavily, and I start sucking on cough drops and trying to keep my eyes open. I got a lot of sleep that night, albeit shitty sleep, tossing and turning and waking up having trouble swallowing.

Friday we went out on the boat, and my throat hurt worse than it did when I had strep. I considered going home, but started feeling a bit better by Friday night. That night we went to the amusement park, where Brynn and I went on a weird up and down type ride everyone else was scared by, Angie and I went on her first roller coaster ride, and the highlight on the night was when Mullens, Angie and I went on the human roller coaster. Basically they strapped us into weird vests, lifted us 100 feet in the air on a crane, and released us to swing back and forth. I had a great time, but Mullens nearly puked. The scariest part was when we were still on the crane and we had to go from vertical to horizontal. The guy who strapped us in warned us that the floor would drop but not to worry. Before he finished his warning, we all fell face first, stopping mere inches from the ground. As we raised up, out of the crane, my head went right into a strange lady's boobs. I was defenseless to stop it but she didn't seem too concerned. I played it cool by offering a "uh... what's up?" before making my forced departure out of the crane.

Friday night was also poker night with everyone on vacation, plus Marie and Dain who were there visiting her parents. Out of the 8, I'll give you 1 guess who came in first place (and you better guess me, because it was me. I think it was half because I'm awesome at bluffing and half because I was the only one not drunk, with me still nursing an illness and all).

Saturday was more fun on the boat with fishing and going fast and whatnot. That night was poker for money, where I came in 3rd place but still at around $0. But still fun stuff. We also went to eat a bunch of ribs, which Mullens promptly vomited up in a disgusting display of disgustingness.

Sunday was a nice relaxing day with nothing planned. A lot of drinking commenced, since it was the first day my sore throat went from sore to okay, but my nose went from okay to stuffy. When Angie got sick of the burping, farting, and cussing, she went on a long walk and Mullens, Alan and I promptly got into an empty beer can fight, started by yours truly. It was fun and painful, and I managed to mess up the toenail on my toe pretty good, which I imagine I stubbed on something, although I can't be sure. I also talked to my boyfriend Dayv on the phone (and I'm pretty sure "top down, seat back" is a common saying for convertable owners, and I'm not sure why I had to keep repeating the phrase. Oh, Dayv, I'll teach you how to own a convertible someday. Your first lesson: use the phrase "top down, seat back" whenever possible) and went drunken-go-carting, where I came in second place only to Alan, beating a whole family and Mullens and Angie. Not too shabby.

Today was mostly just packing up and cleaning and driving, although we managed to get out on the boat for a little while.

And now I'm home. It was a nice, relaxing little trip away from home. Winnie was so excited to see me home, and made me so glad I'm a dog owner. I love that stupid mutt way too much, and missed her more than I missed the internet while I was away. This has been a holiday report. Peace.

I stayed home

2004-09-06T17:00:00-07:00

I stayed home with my dog for a few hours last night before Alan called inviting me to Old Chicago. I considered backing out, but then I remembered my resolution to spend more time with friends and less at home. So I went. I stayed long enough to drink my last beer for a long time and eat my last meal for a long time, then went home, watched Road Rules, and went to sleep. Good times.

And now it's back to the grindstone. My nose is stuffy. I'm doped up on DayQuil.

Oh I'd also

2004-09-07T17:00:00-07:00

Oh, I'd also like to say, please to everyone on my friends list (Wolfie, this is mainly to you), stop posting those annoying LJ stupid queer things where you plug in your username and favorite color and it sends back random answers to random questions, sometimes using your LJ friends, sometimes not. If you must post these annoying-random-not-funny-or-amusing-or-even-vaguely-interesting results to random words and usernames, have the courtesy to leave it behind a cut so I won't waste precious moments of my life seeing what they say. Thank you.

The situation is

2004-09-07T17:00:00-07:00

The situation is more dire than I thought.

After dropping nearly 70 pounds a little over a year ago, I assumed my diet was over. In the course of that year, I have put back on an astounding 50 of those original 70 pounds. I know only because I checked last night for the first time in a long time.

But, the good news is that Mullens is totally fatter than me, and took it upon himself to work a diet up for us. Yesterday was the first day of NO SOLID FOOD. Which sucks, sure, but I want to see some quick results to keep me going, like I had last time. So we've started taking these stupid shakes that have 100% of all essential vitamins and nutrients and 150% of your daily protein, but very few calories. They taste like crap and leave a weird residue in my mouth. Then there's also running every night of the week and weight lifting every other night. We ran 2 miles yesterday and walked 1. Today, the scale told me I had lost 6 pounds of that fifty I need to get off. I know better than to trust that figure, but it still felt good to see such a dramatic drop. Hopefully seeing the weight come off will keep me motivated to keep going. Last time, I was motivated by the ever-dropping scale and, of course, I had to look good for my TV appearance. This year there won't be a TV appearance (at least not yet), so I'll need to find other ways to keep that scale droppin'.

So I went

2004-09-08T17:00:00-07:00

So, I went and saw The Village last night with Wolfie, and I'll cut my review because I'm sure it will contain spoilers.

This was one big pile of stinky crap if I ever did see one. I hated virtually every second, and the seconds I didn't spend hating it, I spent bored.

So, yeah, I guessed the twist. Shamalanadingdong, listen up... from now until the end of time, people will watch your movies, always guessing what the twist will be at the end. You've had to get more clever, and this movie did a shit job of it. "The monsters are real! Nope, fake! Just kidding, REAL! Oh, wait, no, FAKE!" Finally, I just stopped caring.

But that was only 1 twist. The real twist was that it was set in present day! Yeah, no shit. I figured that out way before that lady said the word "alley". I probably guessed at the overuse of the word "fortnight" and how the dialogue between everyone seemed overly forced. Oh, and poorly written. I realize the twists are the important thing in these crap movies, but they should at least be written well.

As I told Wolfie, I can buy that a group of people can get sick of civilization (look at my road rage) and want to form a commune. And I can buy that a rich guy built a huge compound for it and people don't ever see that it's there. I'm good at suspending disbelief for a movie and I don't try to pick out continuity errors or anything. I'm pretty forgiving as far as those things go. But with this movie, I just couldn't buy that this group of people went into this compound carrying old-school style clothes and decided to talk like it was the 1800's. That's just too much. If they were going to install this huge compound, they would have at least gone for running water and showers. Trust me, no one wants to live life without showers, and I don't think the almighty professor thought that showers corrupted society. I can also buy that these people never used or knew of cuss words, but I can't buy that "fortnight" is suddenly so common again.

Oh, and for "the things they don't speak of", they sure do speak of them a helluva lot.

And "the bad color" was just cheesy.

So not eating

2004-09-11T17:00:00-07:00

So, not eating totally sucks.

Yesterday I hung out with my nephews and my sister and brother-in-law and parents. We went to Tanner's. I had noticed myself feeling lethargic and not more tired than usual, and I knew it was my lack of food. So I gave in and ate a pork chop sandwich at Tanner's. I immediately felt a million times better, so I ate a chicken salad last night. My energy seems to be fully restored. I'm looking forward to the 1 meal thing, but I don't get to consistently eat meals for another week and a day. I'll cheat again when I start feeling lethargic again.

Anyhow, so a non-weight related issue to add a bit of interest to this post. I was out jogging with Winnie the other day when a huge pit bull came running out and attacked Winnie. Winnie was on a leash, of course, so at a huge disadvantage. She fought pretty well though, for the few seconds I was still trying to figure out how to handle the problem. I tugged the leash back to seperate them, then straight up kicked the pit bull as hard as I could right in the face. It kind of stumbled and did a face dive into the sidewalk before whimpering away. It crossed back to the other side of the street where a big group of gangsta looking mothers were barbequing and looking at me nasty for what I just did to their dog. Put that fucking dog on a leash or tether if you can't control it, motherfuckers. I'm sick of even nice dogs not being on leashes and running up to us during our jog. Winnie is the most well behaved dog in the world, but even I wouldn't take her to populated areas without a leash. It's annoying to have unwanted dogs run up, even in a friendly fashion, when I'm trying to jog. Anyway, so there's that story.

And today I saw Resident Evil 2 with Wolfanny. It was pretty awesome, but after reading Milla's interview in Maxim, she annoys the hell outta me.

Aside from that, I thought the movie was crazy awesome, despite the annoyingness of the MTV-type-editing where you can't really see what's happening at all in the action scenes.

The shit is

2004-09-13T17:00:00-07:00

The shit is kind of hitting the fan at work, which means I need to be even more careful about posting stuff here, which means probably more friends-only posts and definitely no posting or looking at LJ from work. It sucks, but I like the job and need the money.

A real post is coming whenever I get the time to do it.

Spent some time

2004-09-15T17:00:00-07:00

Spent some time with John Zarr looking at his new motorcycle last night. When it started raining, he took off and I took the opportunity to open the windows, enjoy the thunderstorm, and watch Night of the Living Dead. It was a good night.

Anyway, my job isn't particularly in jeopardy or anything, but people are getting fired and quitting left and right, and written up about silly shit and whatever else. I just need to stay out of the line of fire until things settle down. There's talk of weeding out the bad employees and bringing in people who want to be there and yadda yadda. I've been assured that this is a weird time in the company's history and people who have been there 12 years have told me this has never happened. So I'm gonna sit and out and see what happens when the smoke settles.

So there's that.

A big thank

2004-09-17T17:00:00-07:00

A big thank you goes out to my sis for assuming one of my cell phone contracts, saving me $175 and a pain in my ass. She gets a free cell phone and a short contract, and I get my out of jail free card, and it all works out for everyone. A weight off my shoulders, foshizzo.

Tonight was Kouri's with Polk and The Brandon and The Kristi, and later is Jukebox with Polk and the dude from Just Shoot Me, where hopefully I'll see Lenny and get to meet the celebrity up close and personal following the shizzo.

Last night was me and Polk and Johnny watching Last Comic Standing and cracking up at Johnny crashing his motorcycle on his third day of ownage. Peace out, Jessica, you fucking fatty with the eyebrows and funny face. Here's a short lesson on what's not funny with the stand up comedy:

Funny faces
That's all.

Stop doing those thing.

Tomorrow is Octoberfest, or however those crazy Nazis spell it, and I'm totally in for a good time like a few years back when I got all fubar with Mullens and Fabish with the free drinks and the flirting with old ladies.

The BLANDON. Muahahahaha! Being forgetful cracks my shit up. MUAHAHAHHAHAHA!

I was expecting

2004-09-18T17:00:00-07:00

I was expecting Polk to recap at least a section of our awesometastic weekend, but alas, he has not.

Friday was Kouri's night with Blandon and Kristi, where I had a fantastic time and Polk paid, because he is the man. I told him I'd see the stand up show with him if he couldn't find anyone else, otherwise I would just go home and go to sleep. He ended up calling me, and I ended up going, and things went from good to freaking the awesomest night in all of existance ever.

The first comic, who I had never heard of, noticed my awesome Super Mario "Power Up" shirt and made fun of me in front of everyone, and I thought it was way cool. Then Brian Posehn took the stage and almost immediately pointed me and Polk out as "his people", meaning huge nerds, of course. It was hilarious, but not as great as when, later in the act, he referrenced something out of Star Wars and looked to me like I would be a fan. I shook my head no, that I don't really give a shit about Star Wars, and he got progressively angrier until he yelled "FUCK YOU!" at me, in front of everyone, which rocked so much I can't even put it into words.

So after the show we hung out in the bar area and kind of waited around for our chance to talk to the guy. He was a really nice guy. I took a shitty picture of me, him, and Polk and put it on my moblog for the world to see. As we were about to leave, I had to tell him that my favorite Brian Posehn moment was a time on The Weakest Link, which was probably the only time I watched that show, when he got kicked off and threw a huge tantrum while walking off the stage. I laughed for the rest of the show. He launched into another huge story about why Paul Rodriguez hates him because of his appearance on the show, which was also more awesome than I can even begin to express here.

So then Polk and I headed to a lame college party, which was fun because of the phone call to some guy named Ryan, drunk Jebediah, and the twins.

It was one of the best nights ever, in the history of everything.

The next night was Oktoberfest, which was also a good time, but paled in comparison to the night before. I ran into Polk again, as well as Cross Eyes.

To wrap up this here post, which I'm sure has kept you on the edge of your seat throughout, I'd like to tell a story about a bike ride, a chain link fence, and how much combining the 2 suck.

I guess it's not much of a story after that intro. A chain link fence was falling apart and hanging into the sidewalk. I didn't see it for some reason and ran my bike into it. One of the wires got lodged into my finger, ripping me off my bike and tearing off a chunk of skin. It was pretty gross. There were guys across the street, high as kites, who laughed their asses off at me and my blood covered hand. Finally one yelled out "Hey buddy, you alright?", sounding almost sincere. I said "Yeah, except I tore open my hand". He replied "Oh, poor baby got an owie? HAHAHAHAHA", and I was all "motherfucker, if my hand didn't hurt so bad I'd destroy you!" Okay, actually what I did was hang my head in shame and ride the 2 miles back to my house dripping blood. It was pretty awesome, and by awesome I mean fucking shitty. I also scratched my ankle in the process, maybe on my pedal or something, I'm not sure. I didn't notice until taking off my sock and having the blood make that a painful process.

Anyway, so that was my weekend. A quick decent from awesomest weekend ever to bloody finger and being mocked. It all averages out.

When did they

2004-09-22T17:00:00-07:00

When did they update the update journal page? I'm so confused I hardly know where to type. The world is upside down.

So anyway, today after work I went to Polks to hang out with my boyz, only to have Dayv totally ditch us, like a chode. Dayv, c'mon, what the fizz?

While there, I got a phone call from Amy for me to go eat bratwurst, so I went and ate some brats and talked with the Fabishes for a while before heading home. An exciting night, I know.

A few things of note: I bought the shittiest MP3 player in the world, and it rocks my socks. I guess that's what happens when you have such low expectations... anything is good. So the player sucks but it rocks to me. Also, I went ahead and registered another domain, because... well... I'm kind of addicted to it. But this is a cool one, home of my upcoming personal site. Ready? tim.cx. Yeah, I'm totally a nerd, but that domain is so cool that everyone is jealous of it. Admit it, jealous one. It rocks.

Oh default LJ

2004-09-23T17:00:00-07:00

Oh, default LJ theme, how I have missed you. I know, I left you for a short while, but now we're back together again, and forever this time. I mean it.

Blandon took me to dinner last night for drawing a picture, which was a good deal for both of us. Or at least for me. Then we saw SleepyPolk for a short while before I went home and worked on junkmachine and tim.cx.

I just worked out. My arms and legs hurt. And stomach. And fingers, because one is still tore up and one was jammed. And my chest. But my wrists are okay, for the most part.

And finally, I'm considering hanging a sign on my front door telling people who are begging for votes to do it elsewhere, as I am apolitical and a non-voter and don't give a shit about the House of Representatives. But I still love America.

What a productive

2004-09-25T17:00:00-07:00

What a productive weekend.

I did a bunch of work on junkmachine, both behind the scenes and in front of the scenes. That was a whole lot of fun, only not. But the good stuff actually happened over on my new venture, tim.cx. I managed to get a sweet photo script working, where all I have to do is drop a directory full of JPGs into my account and the script resizes, links, and seperates into galleries all by itself. I also managed to embed my LJ into the site, making it sort of match the appearance. I trid giving my textamerica moblog the same treatment and fell short before deciding to just host the moblog myself. So I got a moblog script working, which kicks ass except I lose the 120 or so on my textamerica account. Anyway, it's kind of fun and nerdy stuff that I enjoy. You should check it out.

So, other than that, I worked on Optimus, and worked out a lot, and hung out 1 night with Alan. It was a nice, laid back kinda weekend.

Here's a completely

2004-09-27T17:00:00-07:00

Here's a completely nerd type entry that is entirely skippable.

So work continues on tim.cx. It's only negative is that the PHP stuff for it makes it so easy to update, I'm imagining it growing to huge amounts of data that doesn't really have an audience. But it's fun, and I'm enjoying the process. Especially the moblog, which actually stores the pics I send on my server for easy back up.

Speaking of which, I had to get my old moblog's pictures for a back up. It seemed like it was going to be a huge, time consuming process, until I discovered an extension for FireFox that would download an entire site at once. And it was quick and easy.

I hadn't bothered downloading FireFox until then, because I'm a slacker and IE was good enough. Let me say, it is well worth the rave reviews it gets. It launches a tad slower than IE, but displays web sites much faster and much cleaner most of the time. It imported all my history, favorites, cookies, and passwords, so the transition was seemless and excellent. Everyone should totally download FireFox. It will change your life*.

Tonight is bowling, which will rock. I've lost 16 pounds since vacation, which rocks. I'm lifting again, which makes my muscles hard like rocks. The Rundown stars The Rock. I like music, especially rock.

And now I'm done.

downloading FireFox will not change your life.

This entry will

2004-09-29T17:00:00-07:00

This entry will be a rant.

So, I don't expect every guy off the street to understand exactly what my job is. I don't expect people to understand when I start talking about ActionScripting and mySQL databases. But any amateur in Photoshop should have at least a vague idea of what it means when I say "dpi". It's not a complicated concept.

The "graphic designers" I work with have no idea what that phrase means.

Julie, otherwise known as Captain Worthless, asked me to format a photo for her. She needed it 3"X4", 300 dpi. The image I gave her was 900 pixels by 1200 pixels. Upon opening it, she told me it was 72 dpi and she needed 300. I told her she was fucking ignorant, in so many words.

The point of this somewhat nerdy rant is that I hate who I work with. I hate that they call themselves and, worse, think themselves graphic designers. I know I'm not a graphic designer. I'm a web and multimedia designer, and yet I have a much more firm grasp on resolution and printing concepts than they do, which is so wrong to me. I find myself doing their jobs more often, and the jobs that they're assigned usually have notes on them that I'm supposed to provide a general design, or an illustration, or graphic elements. Meanwhile I have a stack of my own work to get through.

It's getting more frustrating every day. I suspect that the powers that be know what's happening, as every week something with my "style" of design gets approved and theirs gets rejected. I suppose it's good and I should be flattered, but if I'm going to be the only designer, I should get paid like it. Not just get more and more work for the same amount of dough.

But, it is a good job, despite that. I hope they put one or both of them on permanent file duty and hire a real graphic designer. Someone I can talk to about design and someone who will take some of my workload and allow me to work on web stuff, like I'm supposed to be.

End rant. Over and out.

I want to

2004-09-29T17:00:00-07:00

I want to give a huge thank you to R. Kelly for listing grouphug.us as her website. After reading the following link, I laughed out loud for 5 minutes. It was the highlight of my day so far.

http://grouphug.us/confessions/458577920

So my birthday

2004-10-03T17:00:00-07:00

So, my birthday was pretty much awesome.

There was a rugby game which I watched and, by the end, even kind of understood a little bit. Mullens ran around naked at the end, which I could have done without, but was funny regardless.

Then there was the barbeque. I made out with a duct tape wallet and canvas doors for the Jeep, compliments of Angie, Alan, and Mullens. Then was Jimmy's, where I got wasted. Man, I'm 25 now... I can't drink like I used to. After just 10 hours of fun and beer, I was ready to call it a day and head home. Which I did.

I spent Sunday half hungover, but still participated in an Alzheimers walk before eating dinner with my family at Ned Kelly's. It was delicious, as per usual. After that, I saw Cellular which was just as good as I expected.

My family did well with presents, too. I made out with an ottoman, some pillows, some cash, and a gift card to Lowes. The people at work gave me a gift card to Chili's and The Rave, which was very kind of them. And I treated myself to a new cell phone which takes video and has a color screen on the outside for picture caller ID. It's pretty swell, if I do say so myself (which I do).

And now I'm 25, which seems a lot less significant than 24 ever did. I'm not sure why, exactly. Maybe it's because when I turned 24, I was unemployed, broke, and mooching off anyone who would let me. Now, a year later, I have a good job and am in more of a place a 25 year old should be. Yeah, I'll assume that's why I'm not as bothered by the birthday.

My new cell

2004-10-06T17:00:00-07:00

My new cell phone with mobile web 2.0 makes me not care about how cool T-Mobile phones are. I want to kiss it.

yes, i've kissed it

To anyone who

2004-10-08T17:00:00-07:00

To anyone who never wants to eat McDonalds or fast food ever again, I recommend a viewing of Supersize Me. I'm not sure how entirely honest the movie was, but it definitely scared me away from fast food for a bit. I may even be a bit scared of regular restaurants, although I'm not entirely sure about that one yet.

Quite appropriately, my day today will be spent fixing up my awesome gymnasium and assembling my brand new recumbant bike and trying to work last night's Chili's out of my system.

Speaking of Chili's, this is my public thank you to Polk who got me a very thoughtful Mr. Sparkle t-shirt in celebration of my 25th. I will wear it proudly.

With my new

2004-10-11T17:00:00-07:00

With my new phone I can get on AIM. I tried using the same screen name I've had since forever, but with all the fanboy chat I get, I realized that was a horrible idea. Instead, I've adopted a new screen name for the task.

If you want to send me instant messages directly to my phone via AIM, then add the buddy "wassonphone". It should always be signed on and it will cause me less trouble than using my old screen name.

So the movie

2004-10-11T17:00:00-07:00

So, the movie industry and unavailability of any other option has driven me to piracy once again. I downloaded a DVD edition of Shaun of the Dead made from the DVD release in England. For those who haven't seen it,

So, this movie rocked my nuts off hardcore. First, it was hilarious because, honestly, this is probably what would happen if there really was a zombie attack. For the first day or 2, people would barely notice and there wouldn't be any kind of warnings or anything about it. Also, when its 1 guy vs. 1 zombie, there's really nothing to be scared of. I'm not much of a man (kind of like Shaun), but I don't think I'd hesitate to walk around outside with 4 or 5 zombies nearby. They're really not much of a threat.

It wasn't nearly as cheesy-funny as the commercials made it out to be. It was actually smart-funny with bits of horror sprinkled here and there. My favorite exchange was when Ed and Shaun were trying to call the police regarding a couple of zombies in their back yard.

Ed : Shaun, did you call the police?
Shaun : Shit, it's engaged!
Ed : How about an ambulance?
Shaun : It's engaged, Ed.
Ed : A fire engine?
Shaun : It's one number, Ed, and it's busy! Okay? What you want a fire engine for, anyway?
Ed : Anything with flashing lights, you know?

Then there was the nods to other horror movies. Asking for Ash at the store check in? Brilliant. "We're coming to get you, Barbara!" Awesome.

It was very obviously a horror movie fan behind the wheel, both directing and acting. I'm sick of crap like Scary Movie where it's pure comedy. This one didn't have any of that self-referential bullshit nonsense in it, just pure comedy and pure horror at the same time.

I recommend it to everyone.

So, after my awesome movie, I finished painting my floor in my exercise room. A second coat will be put on tomorrow, and then it's ready for use. Sweet.

Dear Jeep I

2004-10-12T17:00:00-07:00

Dear Jeep,

I know I've owned you for 4 long years now, and we've had good times together. I also realize you're getting a bit old, approaching the decade mark a bit quicker than either of us would like to see. I also realize you've been a wonderful, dependable car with very little maintanence required to keep you on the road. I know it may hurt your feelings that I'm drooling over other vehicles as you sit in my driveway, but please stop taking it out on me. It's nothing personal.

Between the 4 new tires I bought for you, the balance and rotation of those tires, the alignment, and the ball joints that are growing increasingly worse, I dropped a significant amount of change on you last week. And what thank you do I get? I get you, unable to start, unable to get me to work, just sitting there on your new tires completely useless. Tonight after someone (I don't yet know who) picks me up from work, I'll need to spend more money on a new battery and spend a cold, rainy night fixing you because of your recent hissy fits against me.

I've had enough of this, Jeep. It's time to shape up and thank me for spending so much money on you lately, and only rarely bitching about your poor gas mileage in times when gas costs me $2/gallon.

Sincerely,
Your Good Owner

For a bit

2004-10-13T17:00:00-07:00

For a bit of explanation on my adventures yesterday...

I knew that 2 of my new tires had a bit of a slow leak and would need some inflation before driving to work. So I woke up early and, since it was still raining, pulled the Jeep into the garage to inflate. I plugged in my handy cigarette-lighter air compressor and let it do its thing as I went in and prepared for my day. At some point I had to go out and switch tires since 2 were low. Everything seemed fine and dandy.

So finally the tires are inflated fully and it's time to go. I hop in and try to start the car. Nope. Try again. Even less results than the first time. Crap.

So I tried calling my dad who hadn't gotten to work yet, and his cell phone was off. I tried calling Mullens who was hungover and lacking jumper cables. Angie wasn't answering her phone.

I took some time to push the Jeep out of the garage all by myself, which was quite a task and my entire body is sore today because of it. I kept trying to call people, only to get voicemail everywhere I called.

Finally Angie called me back. She had jumper cables and could be at my place in a couple of minutes. She came over and we tried to jump the car. Nope. The battery was toast, toast, toast. She drove me to work.

So at work I tried calling people to see if I could get another ride home as to not inconvenience Angie twice in a day. Unfortunately, no one else was available and I didn't read about Polk's offer until it was far too late. So Angie picked me up and took me to get another battery. Almost $70 later I'm back at home. Thankfully I didn't have to push the Jeep back into the garage since, somehow, it turned out to be a beautiful night that night. The battery was the original and therefore almost 8 years old, and it was grimy and disgusting, and changing it with the rusted bolts and brackets was... well, unpleasant. Plus the new battery was about half an inch taller than the old one, forcing me to beat the bracket into shape with a hammer until it fit. Finally it fit, the Jeep roared to life once it had evacuated the gas that had flooded the engine while I was trying unsuccessfully to start it.

As a thank you to Angie for taking me to work and picking me up and taking me to get a battery, I offered to buy her dinner which she took me up on. The hitch was that dinner was at Shots, a podunk crap bar in Kickapoo, for her aunt's divorce party. It was actually fun. Her family is a blast.

I was home by 8:00 or so and retarded tired. I was in bed by 8:30. I'd had a long day.

I missed part of the first episode of Battle of the Sexes 2. I forgot to set my DVR for an hour instead of half an hour. How disappointing.

I know it's

2004-10-15T17:00:00-07:00

I know it's a couple of days early, but whatever. This is my huge, long, ridiculous post regarding my 4 year anniversary on LiveJournal. Here goes.

This year in particular has been a big one for yours truly. I lost my grandpa, which means that this LJ has been around long enough to document half of my grandparents dying. His death left me grandparentless.

But, in happier news, Peter Joseph was born. That, of course, means LJ has documented both births of my nephews. I like to pretend the middle name is a tribute to me, but it probably isn't.

The second biggest deal this year has been my job. Well, 2 jobs, since last year at this time I was unemployed. A few days later, I'm selling cell phones. A few months later, I'm designing websites and presentations for an insurance company. Never underestimate the effect a good job can have on you. Financially, sure, I'm much better off than I was before. But I'm also more confident, less embarrassed about what I do. Not that there's shame in selling phones... there's not. But I'm supposed to be talented, gifted, all that stuff, and I wasn't using it. Now I am, and I feel like maybe I'm not wasting my talents and maybe I didn't waste a few years in college learning how to do it. A good job makes a huge difference.

But, the biggest difference is, you guessed it, Jaimee both moving in and moving out. Yeah, they both happened this year, believe it or not. Living with a girl was a strange and learning experience. It was odd getting scolded for things I'd always done and never thought twice about. It was odd having stuff disappear from where I put it. It was odd always having everything so clean.

The adjustment of her moving in was much harder than the adjustment of her leaving again. The house instantly became messier and stuff always stayed where I put it. I had my sad moments, sure, but my friends really jumped in there and helped me out when I was feeling down.

But honestly, the weirdest and biggest changes were because of Jaimee and the discussions we had while she decided to move out.

I live a small, relatively unimportant and uneventful life. I'm not rich, not famous, I don't save people's lives or make the world a better place or anything of that nature. But while that stuff was important to Jaimee and ultimately led to the break up, it's becoming more obvious to me every day of why it never mattered to me one way or the other.

Sure, like everyone, I have the desire to "make it big" and "strike it rich", and will continue to do my side projects that will hopefully help make that happen. But I'm not willing to make certain sacrifices for the sake of "living large".

I like my small, insignificant life. While I may not be the President of a charity organization who helps millions through a crisis like a hurricane, I like to believe that my friends look to me as someone who can help them out when, for example, their car won't start in the morning and they need someone to take them to work. I'll be there for them. And, more importantly to me, I have people who will be there for me when I need it.

On a worldly scale, I don't matter at all. Among my friends, I like to think that I have an effect. And hopefully a positive one. I hope I make them laugh, and I hope I make them feel comfortable. I hope hanging out with me is a positive experience that makes people happy. I know a lot of people who make me feel like a more interesting person just from talking to them, and I hope I can give that feeling to just a handful of people I know. That's what's important to me.

Who cares that I live in a small city? Who cares that most people don't know my name and don't give a shit what I do to pay my bills? Who cares that I'll never have the status most people spend their life looking for? Life isn't about moving on to the bigger and better thing for me. It's about appreciating what you have, taking pleasure in the little things, and seeing how you fit into the picture. Note how I didn't say "the big picture", because big is the least important part. I have more friends that most people, and I'm closer to those friends than most people will ever be close to anyone. That's saying something.

The little things don't just make my life bareable, they make my life amazing. Friday nights with Polk an Brandon and whoever else wants to come along is something I look forward to all week. It's just a dinner, I know, but it's one of thousands of reasons I get up every morning. My newest small pleasure is taking my morning shower with the light turned off. It's a weird feeling, but an excellent feeling that I get to experience every single day. When I'm looking for a number in my cell phone and I scroll past so many numbers of so many people who mean so much to me, it brightens my day. Not everyone is lucky enough to know the people I do. Not many people are lucky enough to have the amount of friends I do. Not everyone has the luxury of choosing whether or not they want to spend a night at home every night. I have those luxuries, and its because I've spent my entire life investing in people and relationships instead of career and status and the importance of living in a big city. It's what means the most to me, and always will.

A few times a month, I get to hang out with my awesome little nephews and get closer to my sister, brother in law, and parents. As I get older, they're finally becoming friends and not just people who I'm related to. Maybe for the first time since this journal was created, I'm perfectly content and happy with where I'm at and where everyone else is at. Every day I wake up and realize how lucky I am to know who I know, live where I live, am friends with who I'm friends with. I'm one lucky and blessed son of a bitch. My priority this year isn't going to be to be rich and famous and get back on TV (although that would be cool, and I'll still definitely try to do those things), it will be to make my friends think as much of me as I do of them. That, people, is what life is all about. At least to me.

So happy anniversary to me, just a few days early. If you actually read through all of this... Wow. You must like me more than I thought.

I guess I

2004-10-20T17:00:00-07:00

I guess I haven't updated in a while.

So on Friday was my night with my boyz at Donnelly's or however you spell it. We missed Kristi, but managed to have good conversation and lots of laughs, as per usual. Afterwards I went to Angie's with the intention of going out later, but quickly got tired and called it a night early. I'm not as young as I used to be, I guess.

Saturday I pretty much did nothing, which was awesome. That night Angie and I braved not only the cold, but also a long-ass car ride out to some town I've never heard of for a barbeque with her work friends. It was okay, but as I mentioned, very cold. All the guys were amazed and fascinated by my Transformers ring tone. I don't blame them. It's a sweet ring tone.

That night we went out, even though I didn't really want to. I went out because of a promise that Steph, one of my good friends I haven't seen in a long time, would call. She didn't. Well, not until it was far too late. But I managed to have an okay time despite not really wanting to be out. We went to Gorman's and The Friendly Valley, which is such an awesome, crappy little bar. Good times.

Sunday was a barbeque with my family. The highlight was when Jack asked who broke his chair. My mom explained that I broke it. Jack immediately got upset and started yelling at me, asking why I broke his chair. It didn't seem to phase him that I broke it 10 years ago or so, and if I was going to be punished for it, I certainly would have by then. He ended up sending me to time-out, which was pretty much the cutest thing he's ever done. Well, except for when he announced to the waiter at Avanti's that he was wearing big-boy underwear.

This week has been pretty uneventful, with the exception of watching my new favorite shows. Battle of the Sexes 2 and The Biggest Loser. With the lack of Last Comic Standing, I needed another reality show to fill in the gap.

Last night was more fun than I thought I could have on a weeknight. Angie, Brynn and I went to Perkins since they were achin' for breakfast food for some reason. The whole time, we were just laughing and joking and having a good time. It got really interesting when I bet them that they couldn't eat their whole meal, and if they did, I'd pay for it. It was hilarious watching them be so miserable and full, yet jamming hash browns down their throats with a look of defeat on their face. They ended up falling a bit short of their goal, but I paid anyway since I'm such a nice guy. The other awesome thing that happened was when I was about 2/3rds done with my hamburger and realized that I didn't order a hamburger, but a chicken sandwich. I ended up getting a free piece of pie out of the deal. I get free pie about half the time I go there. I like free pie. I also really enjoyed the hamburger.

So Jaimee has

2004-10-21T17:00:00-07:00

So Jaimee has a new beau. I'm not happy about it, but I guess I appreciate that she told me before posting about it or letting me hear about it through a third party.

I'm slightly more upset about it than I probably should be, but I'll get over it. Until I do, she's been removed from my friends list. It's not malicious or petty or anything... I just really need to practice avoidance in times like these. She didn't understand that as well as I had hoped.

Anyway, that has been the bummer of my week.

So last night

2004-10-21T17:00:00-07:00

So last night was fantastic.

After work I got lost in Bartonville while trying to meet some coworkers, and that was a helluva lot of fun. Then I drove to Pekin and got lost there, which rocked. Eventually I made it to my destination, which was a barbeque with a bunch of people from work. I really like the people I work with, and I love that we never talk about work when we're not at work.

I met Mullens for a couple of beers afterwards at Jimmy's. A few hours after I got there, Alan, Jenny, Emily, Nate, and Angie all came down. It was good to see everyone. I stayed out later than I probably should have, but I had a good time.

A lot of stuff on the agenda today. People to see, places to go, and yadda yadda.

Okay kids so

2004-10-22T17:00:00-07:00

Okay kids, so this whole Jaimee thing is really messing with my brain in really bizarre ways, like what I had to deal with in high school. I had trouble sleeping last night because I was having dreams about them. I'm terrible at breaking up.

I guess the parts that bother me are 1. The guy she chose, and 2. what that says about her as a person, and 3. my friends' reaction to it.

The guy she chose: an LJer by the name of Tacoman. He's a pretentious writer type who always read stuff Jaimee wrote and sent his reactions to it. They started trading stories via email, chatting on AIM, and commenting furiously in each other's LJs while she was still living with me. It didn't really bother me that she had a fake internet boyfriend until he started mailing her handwritten notes, CDs, and books. To my house. I was insecure about it because, by this point, our relationship had started on it's downhill jaunt.

I'm taking personal offense to the guy selection. I take it almost as a slap in the face. I don't think I'm overreacting when I say that.

What that says about her as a person: Not good stuff. I mean, 3 weeks ago a got a present with a handwritten note from her, saying how we were perfect for each other, but lives and obligations and outside influences ruined it. But it was apparently all a lie, since if that was true for her, she would do what I'm doing and stay single for a while to let scars heal, let distance work it's magic until you're ready for another relationship. If I meant as much to her as she said I did... well, then she's ruining it and shitting on it by doing it this early and with that guy in particular.

When I told Fabish about this new boyfriend and their history, he looked at me with scrunched up eyebrows and said "I'm glad you got away from her."

My friend's reactions to it: have all been similar to Fabish's when I intro it with the background of her and her new guy. I know I haven't personally discussed the situation with anyone reading this, but the friends who I've discussed this with all follow up with some comments on why they never really liked or trusted her in the first place. Even my dad made some comments about how I'm better off when I dropped the news that we were splitting. Fabish was actually the most kind about it. When Angie asked how he felt about Jaimee, his response was "I could take her or leave her." Most others have been more negative than positive.

I don't think I'm asking for Jaimee bashing. In fact, I know I'm not, since hearing the bashing kind of hurts my feelings. I'd rather they say something like "that doesn't seem like her to do" or something.

Anyway, so those are my thoughts at the moment. I said before that eventually the negative feelings would fade and I'd be happy for her. Well, I'm already happy for her if she's doing what she wants to do, but the negative feelings have a while before I'm ready to come to terms with them. And, in light of these events and what my friends are coming out the closet to say, its likely that I'll never be truly okay with her again. I'd hoped that Jaimee would be the ex who I could talk to about girl trouble and whatever else, years after the fact. But she won't be. That's disappointing.

It's been an

2004-10-23T17:00:00-07:00

It's been an excellent weekend so far. Friday I played the fifth wheel, which is always a fun time, at Bogie's where Polk stole a glass. I was shocked and ecstatic when Fabish called during dinner, since I see him about once a month for a couple of hours these days. I headed to his house where we ate donuts, chit-chatted, and watched that new Michael Moore documentary whose name I won't even try to spell.

Saturday I spent the day with Angie getting tires put on her car. While at the mall waiting for the operation to be finished, I happened across a new digital camera that I just couldn't not buy. It's that awesome one from the commercial with Steven Tyler where that chick pulls it out of her pants and snaps a picture. It's really small and 5 megapixels, and it's totally sweet.

I headed out to my parents' house to help my dad clear away some brush in the woods. Afterwards, Angie and I went to Chili's and to see I Heart Huckabees using my gift certificates I got for my birthday. I Heart Huckabees was... um... interesting. It definitely had it's moments where I couldn't stop laughing, but evened it out with moments when I didn't know what the hell was happening. Overall, I'm relatively sure I liked it, but not 100%.

Then we met Alan, Nate, Emily, Amy, and a bunch of others whose names I can't remember at Old Chicago. A few beers later, they were ready for Roxy's. We decided we'd go for a drink, but changed our mind when they were charging a cover. We went home.

And now it's today. I have some cleaning to do and other small tasks, with The Grudge later tonight if everything works out.

Sunday was crazy

2004-10-24T17:00:00-07:00

Sunday was crazy productive for this kid. Not only did Optimus get a little bit of attention, but my latest project did as well. I also spent a good long time cleaning. Yes, cleaning. And not just straightening, mind you, but I scrubbed the bathroom and got on my hands and knees with bleach and a sponge, going to town. I got rid of a bunch of trash, did like 5 loads of laundry, all folded and hanging and not wrinkly, and even vacuumed. I actually do like living in a house that's slightly cleaner, but I sure hate to clean. Maybe this time I'll make an effort to keep things a bit nicer looking.

Anyway, so that night was The Grudge where I played the 3rd wheel to Tiffany and Wolfie until Randy joined the party. After giving a hard time to the cashier and sprinkling my popcorn with the awesomest white cheddar topping stuff, we entered the almost empty stadium theater.

Anyone who knows me for more than a few seconds knows I'm a huge fan of the horror genre. After a huge drought of horror movies in the 90's, they're back and weirder than ever. Thanks to 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, and Shaun of the Dead, zombie movies are cool again, and I couldn't be happier. Well, okay, I'd be happier if slasher movies that weren't self-referential came back into style (the newer slasher flicks are pretty much just Freddy vs. Jason and Jason X, but with the new Chucky and slew of "versus" movies coming out, maybe that will change), but for now I'm happy with zombies and creepy Japanese influenced horrors.

And speaking of creepy... holy crap. This movie freaked me out more than a PG-13 movie should be allowed to do. There was a lot of boring parts, but a ton of creepy parts too. I won't bother with spoilers or any of that nonsense, but overall it was a solid movie. That should be expected with Raimi producing it, though.

So for the past couple of weeks, I've been working out 45 minutes to an hour per day, with a balance of lifting and riding my elliptical machine and recumbant bike. I think I'm finally over that hump where I'm tired all the time and into that area where I'm awake all the time. I haven't lost a whole lot of weight, since lifting makes me painfully hungry and I've been eating pretty much whatever and whenever I feel like it since starting my exercise in large doses schedule. My arms are definitely getting bigger, however, which is always a good thing.

As a public and personal note: Blandon and Kristi, it's been far too long since I've enjoyed your company. Are you hanging out with us on Friday or what? If not, we should arrange a mid-week meal to make up for your absences.

Another side note: My new camera makes me ache for another photo party. Maybe I'll throw a smaller one to tide me over until Polk's bashy bash photo party.

And the last side note: I'm considering throwing a New Years Party with the rule that, to enter said party, you need to kiss at least every person of the opposite sex, and even people of the same sex if you're feeling up to it, at midnight. Who's with me?

I had my

2004-10-26T17:00:00-07:00

I had my first home cooked meal in a long time last night, thanks to Angie who made some weird cheese thing. And potatoes.

So the rumor is that Alan is going to buy the house next door. There's a lot of "ifs" that make the deal not a sure thing at all, but it's a definite possibility. Part of me thinks it would be awesome to have Alan next door, and the other part of me thinks it would be super sweet. Plans are already underway for an underground tunnel connecting the 2 houses, or possibly a large tube going over my driveway, similar to the ones at Chuck E. Cheese. I just hope he leaves the dog with his parents.

In an effort to buy everyone I know good Christmas presents this year, I'm really going to go hardcore with trying to get portrait jobs. Tonight I'm printing up some business cards and flyers and will give them to anyone who may have some sort of public bulletin board or something at their work to display them on. Also, I think tonight timwasson.com will turn into a temporary site for portrait related stuff. If I do enough this holiday season, I can not only buy neat stuff for everyone, but also maybe finish up paying off my credit card nonsense (down to $2700 because I rock).

So I've decided

2004-10-27T17:00:00-07:00

So I've decided that I need to copy Polk and have a LJ theme for a month. I've chosen the month of November for my first theme. For the month of November, each one of my entries will contain 1. A fact about myself that most people reading this won't know, and 2. one of my favorite memories ever from my extremely exciting life. I think that everyone on my friend's list should do the same thing. It will be mountains of fun.

So rad_jose tribegirl

2004-10-28T17:00:00-07:00

So, rad_jose, tribegirl, and devilpuppet(sorta) have all joined in the "one fact/one memory" theme of November. It's obvious to me that it's what the cool kids do, and I, of course, set the standard for cool kids.

It's been quite a week so far, and I'm starting to feel guilty for neglecting my dog as I drink brews and eat pizza with random people every night of the week. To make up for my poor parenting, this weekend will be spent mostly at home, taking care of some odds and ends that need taken care of, and doing nothing in particular otherwise.

I just got a $75 gift certificate to Crutchfield that I forgot I was even going to get. I have no idea what I'll do with it, but I'll probably sell it on eBay.

My weekend wasn't

2004-10-31T17:00:00-07:00

My weekend wasn't as sit-aroundy as I would have liked, but it was good. Friday was Kouri's night, but at Gorman's this week. We had delicious hot wings and delicious beer. After all the couples went their separate ways, I went home and watched some TV with my dog.

Saturday I did some various errands around the house and worked on a few projects. Wolford, Tiffany, Mullens, and I went to see Saw that afternoon, which I liked, but like less the more I think about it. Mullens and I went out to a new bar, American Pie, for a couple of beers. We ended up staying really late with a couple of guest visitors, and eventually went to Steak 'n Shake for a post-beer dinner. Fun stuff.

Halloween, I spent the morning working on my projects and playing with my dog. Around 4, Angie and I went out to my parent's house to see Jack and Peter (Thomas the Train and Spiderbaby, respectively). Then to her parent's house to see her cousins, where we met up with Alan. Then back to her place to drink 40's, pass out candy, and eat Avanti's while watching horror movies on USA. The perfect evening.

Fact: My dad has polio and walks with a limp. When I was in gradeschool, people used to ask why my dad "walked like that", and I would start crying.

Memory: My 21st birthday, we had a party at Angie's house on Main Street. When it came time to pass out, Alan and I insisted we didn't need blankets and would be fine without them. We woke up the next morning, each of us cuddled very close to Stephanie trying to use a scrap of her blanket. Good times.

I think once

2004-11-01T17:00:00-07:00

I think once again I'm addicted to selling stuff on eBay. It's good, because it gets a lot of junk out of my life and a lot of money in my pocket, but then I get obsessed with looking at all my auctions constantly. I think I'm going to put up all my old VHS movies this week sometime.

I think I lost all the portraits I did when my reformatted my computer and my backed up DVDs were corrupt. That sucks because it will make it hard to beg for business this year. I haven't given up all hope yet, and actually have 1 or 2 lined up already.

Fact: Every time I'm at a gas station or grocery store, I secretly check to see if they've brought back my good 'ole Mr. Pibb and gotten rid of the horrible Pibb Xtra replacement. I've had no luck so far.

Memory: New Years 2003, I saw both Alan's sister's and Alan's girlfriends boobs in the same night. Wolfie missed it because he was running around the building half naked. Later I yelled at Alan's sister for taking her own backpack.

Yesterday was Alan's

2004-11-02T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday was Alan's birthday, so after work Angie and I went shopping for birthday presents. After that we picked up fried chicken and headed out to the airport for a delivery. I was ecstatic to see my boyfriend Dayv there, although depressed at his lack of mullet.

Later Jenny stopped by. We ate chicken and mashed potatoes and chatted a bit. And that was my night.

Fact: I don't know if you'd consider it obsessive compulsive, but it's close. I cannot change lanes in my car without doing an over the shoulder check. Even if I'm the only car on the road and I know no one is there, I can't bring myself to not look.

Memory: The reason for the above mentioned issue, I believe. I barely had my driver's license and was taking Fabish to a movie or something. I had just mentioned to him how I was getting really good at driving and knowing where other cars on the road were. A few seconds later I changed lanes, nearly causing an accident because I didn't notice the huge truck in the lane next to me. Ever since, I've been overly paranoid that I'm going to do it again.

I managed to

2004-11-03T17:00:00-07:00

I managed to dig up a few portraits I've done from years past, although my best and highest resolution were lost in the great hard drive reformat of 2004. I've made up some flyers to hand out. I gave one to my human resources department to post on our public bulletin board, at which point the HR lady started asking me questions about cost and sizes and everything else. I'd love to make a couple grand off these things this Christmas. I have my fingers crossed.

So I went home and worked out for a while, then ate my awesome Lean Cuisine pizza, then did some hardcore sitting around for a few hours. A little later, I met Angie and Brynn at Donnelly's for a couple of drinks. The highlight and strangest part of the night was when the waitress came over and took a seat right next to me. She started asking us what we all did for a living, where we went to college, how long we were there, etc. etc. It was very odd. Then she went on to tell us how she works 2 jobs and needs to go to college to make more money. We just kind of nodded politely at the weirdness of this stranger coming up to us like that. She was very nice, though.

Fact: I have driven both of my Buicks and my Camaro into a ditch at some point in their life. My Jeep, the most capable in a ditch situation, has yet to be ditched.

Memory: I can't remember if it was high school or the first year of college. Mullens and I were cruising around doing nothing in particular when he got a call that Luke had rolled his car somewhere close to Galesburg and was in a hospital down there. We picked up Wolfie, ate a quick dinner at my parent's house, then made the trek to Galesburg in good 'ole Bluey. On the way, we saw Luke's crappy Escort being towed back towards Peoria and we started doubting whether or not he was even in Galesburg. After getting totally lost in the 'Burg, I flipped a u-turn to get back on the interstate. Bluey wasn't the most agile car on the road, and I wasn't the best driver. I ran over a huge curb at a pretty good speed, which I'm pretty sure made everyone smack their heads on the roof of my car.

Turns out Luke was never in Galeburg and we wasted a few hours of our lives and a few tanks of gas. But it was a fun night.

So I was

2004-11-04T17:00:00-07:00

So I was getting my haircut yesterday. We did the whole drill, but after the cut she insisted on shampooing, despite how I told her I was in a hurry to get home. It would only take a minute, she said. I agreed.

As she was shampooing, I noticed she stopped for an abnormally long time. I kind of looked around, afraid to make eye contact. With my glasses off, I can't see if people are looking into my eyes or not, so I try to avoid it as to not freak anyone out. After a couple more seconds of waiting and nothing happening, I said "Uh... is everything alright?" To which she replied "Oh yes, everything is fine. Your eyes just look really pretty with the light reflecting off them like that." I replied "Oh... that's really fucking creepy, thank you for making my skin crawl, psycho". Okay, that's what I thought. I actually just thanked her and hoped that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, she continued to freak me out with a bunch of follow up questions about my eyes, like if they were natural (did she really think I had contacts on AND glasses?), whether I was staring right at the light while reclined, and what color my parents' eyes were. I answered all of them reluctantly and tried to laugh it off. The more I think about it, the more scary it was. I ended up buying shampoo from her (something I've never done), afraid of what she'd do if I turned down her offer. Maybe that was her plan all along. Don't they get a bonus or something for that? Anyway....

Fact: I used to take long vacations with my family every single year until junior year in high school. I've visited nearly every single state, but have only left the country once. It was on a cruise, where I spent some time in Mexico, Jamaica, and the Grand Caymans.

Memory: I was 19 or so, home from school on some sort of break. My parents were out of town for some reason that isn't important or relevant. I threw a small party with a select group of people. Everyone cleared out, except for the regular crew I hung out with all the time... Steph, Fabish, Mullens, and Angie. A bunch of hilarity ensued, including, but not limited to, Fabish eating part of a candle, Mullens eating most of a decorative gourd, Steph sticking her toe in Mullens' eye, and climbing the tree in our front yard. At one point Steph almost fell out, and I half-caught her. One of 2 times I saved the girl's life.

In the morning we had to find a way to dispose of the empty beer cans. We got quite inventive.

I have a

2004-11-06T17:00:00-07:00

I have a small yard, but managed to collect 9, yes NINE huge bags of leaves. Yes, my free time this weekend was mostly spent raking. It was beautiful outside though, so it's hard to complain.

On Friday I had dinner with the regular crew, followed by The Incredibles with Angie. I must say that The Incredibles rocked my nuts off, even though it annoyed me the entire time that I couldn't place Mr. Incredible's voice. I kept thinking it was Harrison Ford. It was actually Craig T. Nelson for those out there who will see it. Now you don't have to wonder the whole time like I did.

Last night was Angie's mom's birthday bash, so I made the trek out there for free steak and cake. That should be the name of a restaurant. Steak 'n Cake. Or maybe Steak 'n Shake 'n Cake. Nice.

Fact: Despite my credit card debt and tendency to buy expensive toys on credit, I'm actually really good with my money. I never bounce checks or miss payments, ever. My credit is excellent. I even have a 401K and Roth IRA for when I'm old and cranky and don't want to work anymore.

Memory: In high school at one of my geeky band performances, Mullens, Olsson and I decided we were hungry. We put our instruments down and walked to a nearby Subway for some sandwiches. The only reason anyone noticed we were gone was because we missed the last song and as the band packed up, they noticed Olsson's tuba unattended. Olsson was then forced to rat out Mullens and I, but the only punishment was a little bit of yelling in front of the rest of the band. It was worth it.

I have a

2004-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

I have a really good picture from when Peter was born. It's all of us sitting around my sister's hospital bed with her holding Peter and Jack at her feet. The only problem is that Jaimee was in said picture. So I removed her with a little help from Photoshop. Does this make me an evil person?

Fact: This is a lame fact because it's a filtered entry.

Memory: Last night with Polk. (Lame, again, because it's filtered for like the 6 people who will read this)

So I finally

2004-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

So I finally turned my heat on. I held out as long as I could, and made it until November 9th. Not too bad.

Last night was speed dating at Kelleher's. I came in at the 25-35 age range by about a month, so was a bit timid about who I'd meet had I actually paid the $35 to attend. Polk graciously offered to tag along as we scoped out the joint. We got a perfect table for spying on the night's events.

I'm pissed at myself for not ponying up the $35 and giving it a shot, especially after seeing some of the cutie girls and ugly guys. Polk and I definitely would have been getting some attention, since we don't look like child molestors or crooked cops.

Fact: I really want to be a daddy by age 30, and I think I will make a fantastic daddy.

Memory: I'm ganking this from Wolfie, since its about me and contains some of my favorite memories.

"Tim I met because my cousin and his friend kept telling both of us that we had to meet each other because we were sooooooo much alike. I finally met him when he worked at Landmark. We had both went on a “date” with the same girl in the past and when I met him I asked “So you know Kim D. (name edited for her anonymity (sp?), not my embarassment) huh?” to which in Tim fashion he responded “Yes, but if you ever ask me again I will deny it.” We later became pretty good friends and continue to be. Some memories of him include him taking me to see Pearl Jam for free. Him yelling at people with a megaphone along with Fuller in the back of Bryan’s car. Watching Mullens flip him in Fuller’s kitchen one night. Watching him almost get in a fight at his own party because he called a guy that lived upstairs baldy. Him laying on the horn for a good thirty seconds at a guy that pulled out in front of him and then waving polietly at him when the guy started cussing and flipping us off."

In my defense, the guy I called baldy didn't live upstairs. He was visiting his cousin who lived upstairs. His hot girl cousin. Who actually broke up the fight and saved me from a few broken bones.

I'm going to

2004-11-10T17:00:00-07:00

I'm going to try and post this while trying to leave out important details about the place I work, since I've learned that even though I use my name and picture all over this blasted journal, some amount of anonymity is important.

Anyhoo.

So today was my 6 month evaluation. And sure, like everyone, I complain about my job sometimes and I wish I didn't have to work. But let me reiterate how incredibly fortunate I am to have ended up where I did. Sure, the money is good, the benefits are great, and I'm out every Friday by noon. But the people are also great and appreciate what I do and my areas of expertise. My evaluation went splendidly, with only 1 minor complaint that's barely worth mentioning. Since I work closely with several departments, there were included emails from the heads of those departments commenting on the work I've done in the past 6 months, which were just glowing. One was even from the future CEO of the entire company, which was just awesome. Anyway, so at the end, I was told how great it was to have me aboard and a bunch of other stuff that, honestly, I can't ever remember hearing from a place of employment. Its good to be appreciated and enjoy your job. I just wish a raise came along with the 6 month evaluation. I have to wait until the year mark for that. I can hold out.

This has been a boring post, and for that I apologize. I just wanted to brag about how awesome my job is, and what a good day I had at the office today. I was so amped up from the good comments, I did all sorts of preparation for a big meeting with the aforementioned boss lady tomorrow. I'm not one to prepare for meetings, but this time I'm pulling out all the stops with my little notes on my little note pad. I feel so yuppy at work, but can't wait to get home and be my grungy self.

My next post will be more interesting. Promise.

Fact: Above every other compliment that can be given to me, I like being complimented on my sense of humor. A close second is being told I'm a good friend.

Memory: The second time I saw Pearl Jam at Alpine Valley, I went in the first part of October with Angie, Mullens, Brice, Molly, and Stephanie. Fabish was also there, but with his brother in law Kevin and my former neighbor Corey. It was butt ass freezing. The concert started and the 2 separate groups met up. Fabish, Brice and I wanted to get closer to the stage, so we started walking as close as we could. For those unfimilar with Alpine Valley, it's an outdoor venue that's basically on a hill with a railing about halfway up. On the front side of the railing are actual seats instead of just the ground. So Fabish and I were going to try to at least get to the railing. On the way up, we spotted a huge empty hole in the audience we thought we could cut through. As we approached, a guy grabbed my arm and said "uh... I don't think you want to go in there." I ignored his warning a promptly fell smack down on my ass and slid through the whole opening to the other side, where I slammed into some strangers who didn't seem put out at all. Brice and Fabish re-enacted the slide themselves a few seconds later, but we made it to the railing a tad bit muddier than we anticipated.

Other good parts of the night include me and Mullens starting a Pearl Jam singalong at the lines to the porta potty, Mullens trying not to puke on the car ride to the hotel room, and just being so miserably cold but excited to see the world's greatest band at one of the greatest venues ever, for a second time. The next morning we dropped Steph off at the airport in Chicago so she could go to Colorado. Things were never the same again.

Memory 2 to make up for the ones I ganked from Wolfie: A few days before my 21st birthday I was boozing at Brice's, as per usual. Brice said he could do backflips and no one believed him. A group of us made our way out to the parking lot of his building, while another group looked on from his balcony. As he completed his backflips (yes, he did them, and it was impressive because he was like 6'3" and 190 lbs.), a cop pulled up with his lights on, no doubt to crash Brice's party as they'd done dozens of times before. I looked at my beer and thought to myself "no fucking way am I getting an underage drinking ticket 3 days before I'm legal". I set my beer on the ground and scurried inside. If memory serves, I hid in Wolfie's room until the fuzz cleared out.

I went and

2004-11-12T17:00:00-07:00

I went and saw After the Sunset last night. Since I'm not sure words can do it justice, my review is as follows. If you asked me how I liked it, my reaction would be to shrug, or possibly hold my hand out flat and make a teeter-totter motion, and I'd make a noise kind of like this "eeeyyyhhhh....". I give it an 8 on the skippability factor.

Tonight is a good, old fashioned night with my buds that I haven't had in far too long. I'm really looking forward to it.

Fact: Ya know how everyone has that one special album that they started listening to at the exact right second of their life, and as a result, every song on said album seems to be 100% related and in-tune with your life? Despite Pearl Jam being my favorite band of all-time, the album I've just described is Goldfinger's Hang Ups.

Memory: At one of my parties on Underhill, Polk came by. We were on my couch chatting with, if memory serves, Andrea, who I hate passionately even all these years later. Andrea started giving me shit about something or other, and at one point said I was too insecure to kiss a dude on the mouth. Polk took the opportunity to grab my face and kiss me square on the mouth. Which means, of course, that both the brothers Polk have basically kissraped me. Assholes.

This is a

2004-11-13T17:00:00-07:00

This is a test. Posting on my phone.

I had dinner

2004-11-14T17:00:00-07:00

I had dinner with the family on Saturday night, and let me just say that Jack is absolutely the cutest kid in the world. Peter is a close second, and becoming way more like a person every day instead of a silly baby. At one point he was laying on the ground on his belly and would smile really big when Winnie was close by, and the smile would fade as she walked away. He would even spin around on his belly to keep Winnie in his sight for as long as possible. Once as she walked by, he grabbed her tags that were dangling on her collar and she dragged him for a couple feet before he let go. He then started giggling and looking around to see if anyone saw it. Adorable.

That night we got pizza and beer and played cards and watched some movies and had a fantastic, cheap time with good friends and good conversation. Like old times, when we were all mostly single without all that crap in life that has gotten in the way of just having a good time all the time.

Sunday I took Angie's car door apart and found the broken parts, but with it being Sunday and not knowing what to call the part that needed replacing, I was unable to finish the task. Instead, we went to Sam's and got some various bulk materials we needed. The rest of the day I just wasted time until the Sundae Sunday or Sunday Sundae or whatever party. It was a smashing good time, and I was even able to resist the urge to eat until vomiting. Amazing.

Fact: Every single one of my aunts and uncles is on their second marriage. My parents are the only ones that have stayed together.

Memory: In high school, Mullens and I were out way too late on a school night. It was probably around midnight and we were in his crappy Mustang in the middle of a parking lot that was entirely iced over. We'd get going at a pretty good speed, then slam the brakes and turn the wheel and let the car go crazy on the ice until it stopped. It was fun and kept us amused for hours. We finally stopped because Mullens launched the car a bit faster than we had before. It started spinning and going nuts and we were sliding straight into a light post at a pretty good speed. Mullens hit the brakes, the gas, and turned the steering wheel a bit with no results. He then looked at me and said, completely calm "I hope we don't hit that post." I nodded. We stopped a couple of feet from the pole.

It's been a

2004-11-17T17:00:00-07:00

It's been a busy couple of days. On Tuesday I went out with The Brandon and Polk to make up for not going out with them on Friday. Good times, good conversation, good waitress, and good food. And beer. Which is all you need.

Last night Mullens needed help with an assignment to build a webpage. I gave him a bit of insight into the task and helped him turn his site into something that doesn't hurt your eyes to look at it. While we were working on that, Angie worked on sewing a blanket and watched TV. We drank enough beer to make the page look good, whether it actually did or not.

Filling in the gaps between everything else, I've been pounding out the portraits. I've done a lot this year, with a stack waiting to be done. But it's a good thing.

Fact: Everyone knows I used to work at a movie theater. But did you know I worked there with my brother-in-law, Mullens, John Zarr, Jill Zarr, Dave McAtee, Jeremy Johnson, and Scott Reyling? Did you know I got the job way before any of those guys, and had a small hand in getting them jobs there? And while I'm at it, I got Scott Olsson a job at Kinko's.

Memory: The party at Brice's when I mentioned how cool it would be to puke off the balcony. Mullens got excited and tried to pressure Angie and me into puking with him. He closed his eyes tight and was concentrating so hard on the task, throwing out words of encouragement while Angie and I stood back and laughed. He didn't notice we were participating. Watching the vomit splatter on the ground below was less funny and more gross than I expected.

Last night I

2004-11-18T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I went coat shopping with Angie. I had little luck finding a coat to replace my 4 year old number from Sam's, but eventually found one that was stellar. I was all prepared to buy it until I looked at the tag and saw it cost nearly half a grand. I quickly removed it and pretended it didn't happen. Maybe my crappy coats will need to last me one more year.

And for a bit of good news/bad news. A huge revamp of one of my favorite shows, The Screen Savers, happened sometime last week. If you remember, I did an interview on that show one time in my youth (I like to remind people of my live, national television appearance). I had dreams of returning to the show, but if the rumors are correct (and it sounds like they are), chances of another appearance are slim and none. Bad because i want to be on TV again. Good because now that the dream is gone, I can focus on my new project without regret. Optimus will still be finished, but since I hate every single one of the users on junkmachine, I can focus on making a new, better site, using what I learned from junkmachine. If I have time between portraits this weekend, it will be spent on the new page.

Fact: When I was living in Chicago my first year, I lived in a shitty part of town. A tenant of my building was a drug dealer and was killed while sleeping while I was living there. For the rest of the time I spent there, I had to pass a security guard, flash ID, and sign in every time I entered the building. I found a building in a better part of town the next year.

Memory: New Years of 2000. I was at a party at Angie's that turned into a huge sausagefest. Dozens of guys and like 3 girls. At one point, Molly and Steph came and sat on my lap, and stayed there for quite a long time. The guys at the party sat there giving me dirty looks and got increasingly angrier at me. Alan was supportive, even getting me beer when I ran out but didn't want to get up. The moral of the story: Alan rocks and chicks love me.

I'm sure no

2004-11-21T17:00:00-07:00

I'm sure no one else remembers, but I was having the time of my life around 2000-2001. All my friends were best friends, there wasn't a whole lot to worry about or a whole lot of responsibilities. We're all growing up, getting careers, getting older, and apparently, getting more dramatic. My theory is that the whole loss of the youth and increase of maturity was something none of us eased into. It can pretty much be pinned down to the day it happened, giving none of us time to prepare properly for it. Anyhoo.

That said, I ended up going out on Friday and not really having a good time, due to yelling, physical threats of violence against me (granted, I was being a jack ass, mostly because I was pissed about all the yelling and drama from the rest of the evening), insults, dirty little jabs at people, and an overall sense of annoyance. So I wasn't out long, but long enough to get bothered by the whole thing.

On Saturday I hung out with Jack and the rest of the family. We ate at Applebee's and saw a Christmas tree exhibit thing. I spent the rest of the day cleaning out my old bedroom at my parents' house so they can turn it into an office or some such thing. I guess that means I'm never invited back.

Yesterday I did nothing, and it was brilliant. By nothing, I mean I worked my ass off on portraits and my new site, but didn't get out of my pajamas or shower and only rarely left my couch. It was awesome. I tried to get someone to go to the Chinese Buffet with me, but came up short. I sat around a little more. I ended up going to a late dinner, where hopefully we sorted out some of the drama that had gone on earlier in the weekend. I wasn't directly involved in the drama, since as my friends know, I like to keep my life relatively confrontation-free. I was involved only because my annoyance with the situations nearly got me into a fight (almost identical to what used to happen a few years back nearly every weekend), and my unbiased, 3rd party opinions were greeted with accusations and general upset from both parties. It was about that time I realized that when beer is involved, I need to keep my opinions to myself. Last night everyone seemed a bit more receptive and a bit less pissed off about them.

My life is much more like a soap opera than I like it.

I missed a bit of hair while shaving this morning. It's right at the corner of my mouth. It's going to annoy me all day.

Fact: R. Kelly's older brother, Brian, is the main reason I stayed sane while living in Chicago, and a big factor of why I actually finished college up there instead of being so frustrated and lonely that I came home.

Memory: Wolford and I made plans to watch all the Friday the 13th movies in 1 night. We didn’t make it, but I stayed up really late trying. On the way home, I hit a deer and dented up my fender.

I was having

2004-11-22T17:00:00-07:00

I was having a frustrating day at work yesterday, making silly mistakes that took me way too long to fix. I left work a few hours early, cashing in on some of the personal time I need to burn up by the end of the year.

I took the extra hours to fix Angie's window regulator, which had broken for some unknown reason. The dealership said it would cost $150 for labor, and even though I'd never done the repair, I figured I could probably get it done. And I did. It didn't take as long as I expected, either. I spent the next few hours Christmas shopping, where I came up empty handed except for the gift for our company gift exchange. Angie made me chili, without beans of course, as a thank you. We ate and watched Elf, which was funnier than I expected.

And this has been the worlds lamest entry. I hope everyone enjoyed it.

Fact: Even though I'm a computer nerd and art guy, I'm also relatively handy around the house and with cars. I've driven enough shitty cars in my life to know how to make them limp home when they break, and I'm cheap enough to try to fix whatever goes wrong with them, unless it involves the fuel system, which I don't trust myself with. Similarly, I'll try to fix anything around the house except for water and gas related items.

Memory: I was 19 or 20, and Missy invited me and Mullens down to visit with her and her sister at ISU. We partied like rock stars until everyone except me and Missy passed out. We took a long walk and laid in the grass and looked at the stars. As we laid there about to go to sleep, we cuddled up close and she tried to kiss me. I pulled away, figuring that she was drunk and may feel silly or regret it in the morning. A few seconds later, I decided it was okay and I tried to kiss her. She pulled away in the same fashion. That happened a few times before we fell asleep. Missy and I never kissed before or after.

Went to dinner

2004-11-23T17:00:00-07:00

Went to dinner with Wolfie and Brandon and Polk, then to a movie with Wolfie. I won't bore you with the details of those events, since the interesting stuff happened when I got home.

I went to bed around 10:30, then woke up again around 3 AM with horrible stomach cramps that had me doubled over in the fetal position. I tried to ignore them for about half an hour and go back to sleep, but that proved to be nearly impossible. It hurt really, really bad.

So I give in to the pain and head down to the bathroom, where I'm not entirely sure what to expect to spew forth from my body. I am, at this point, quite sure that something will be making a violent exit from a few different orifices.

I sit on the toilet and let out the loudest, most earth shaking fart that has ever escaped my ass, and possibly the loudest fart in the history of the world. Almost instantly, I felt great pressure relieved from my upset belly and figured maybe, possibly, that may be the end of it. It would be a perfect solution for me, really. Just a fart, no messy clean up, and I'd sleep the rest of the night. Before I even finished my thought, I realized I was not done quite yet.

At that exact moment in time, my ass started spewing the nastiest, blackest, gel-like liquid you'll ever see. It looked almost like used oil that comes out of your car. The stench was barely human. I pooped more than I thought was possible, and I can only assume it smelled so bad because I was pooping out food from years ago. As much as I pooped, I don't even think I eat that in a week.

I sat relieved on the toilet for a few seconds, hoping I was done. And I was done. Or at least my lower half. As I felt the puke in my belly rising, I did the fastest and awesomest flush-stand-turn-lift-lid-bend-over-and-open-wide you'll ever have the pleasure of not witnessing. It was perfect timing. Just as I saw my oil-like poo go down the drain, I filled the toilet back up with a light-brown, chunky mixture of hamburger and popcorn. It came from my mouth, nose, eyes, and ear holes, with roughly 90% making it into the bowl and the other 10% spraying directly out of my ears onto the walls and towels and sink that surrounded me. It was almost as if my face exploded, only the bomb was made of puke.

A few minutes of puking and dry-heaving followed, and I stood back up and got a look at myself in the mirror. I was quite a sight to see. I got a Kleenex to blow my nose. The pressure of the blow forced a little more vomit up, which I quickly spewed on my hands and shirt. I then cussed loudly, removed the shirt, and tried again. I had better luck this time, and removed the Kleenex to see popcorn chunks. Even though the ordeal sucked, I do realize how cool it is to force popcorn kernels out my nose.

I tried to go back to sleep, but my nose was stuffed up and the burning in the back of my throat didn't help any. And now I'm trying to decide if I'm sick or just tired. I think I'm just tired.

I did get about an hour of sleep once I went back to bed, and that hour was filled with nightmares about sharks.

Fact: Growing up, it was always very rare to see beer or any alcohol in my fridge. I've seen my dad drink about thrice in my entire life. I have no idea how I turned out like I did.

Memory: Around 11 or 12, I went over to Fuller's to hang out. It was the middle of winter, and we went out to play on the frozen lakes. At one point, we broke through the ice and fell into the water. Normal kids would have gone inside, but we stayed out, playing up a storm, and even taking off our boots to jump on his trampoline. We both ended up violently ill. I missed about a week of school. Fuller made it in the next day, but puked all over and went home early.

A white Thanksgiving?

2004-11-24T17:00:00-07:00

A white Thanksgiving? Whodathunkit?

The blizzard started while I was at work, prompting most everyone in my building to leave early. As the only one in my department left, I was forced to finish the last part of the day all by my lonesome. During that time, I kept getting calls from various co-workers and friends, telling me which streets I should avoid on my way home. Eventually pretty much every route home was deemed undrivable, and I braced myself for a long-ass ride home. I slapped the Jeep into 4 wheel drive and made my escape, which didn't take long. My theory is that everyone went home early, so the traffic was fine for me. Suckers!

And of course, last night was supposed to be the party night of the entire year. I think the weather put a stop to that, since there was virtually no one out. I hung out with Alan, Angie, Brynn, Nate, and some girl who I think her name was Jesse. I assume that's short for Jessica, otherwise it's a weird name for a girl.

Today is the regular family stuff.

Winnie is in trouble because she peed on my chair. Her punishment will last a week. Its a nice chair.

Fact: I trim my fingernails almost every day. Not because I'm vain and they need maintenance, but because I'll chew on them constantly and bite them off otherwise. Trimming them is easier than fixing a bad habit.

Memory: When Christine broke Fabish's heart and Mullens and I took him to Big Al's to help fix it. Mullens and I dropped almost $200 each, and had so much fun my brain can't comprehend it. A gay guy bought us drinks and we closed the joint close to 5 am. Angie had been waiting about 45 minutes for us to leave so she could drive us home. She wasn't happy about it.

Turkey Day with

2004-11-26T17:00:00-07:00

Turkey Day with the fam was uneventful, but good. That night I changed into my pajamas and prepared for a long night of digestion and TV watchin, but got a surprise phone call from Alan and Mullens who were out boozing. I changed out of my pajamas, picked up Angie, and headed down to meet them. It was a good time.

Last night was the Fry-Day Friday party, minus the Fry. The food was good, the people cool, and the brew plentiful. I decided I'd play a round or 2 of Asshole until I kept winning the presidency and kept going one more round. Eventually I bowed out of my position to give someone else a chance of glory. I thought that was considerate of me.

Today Alan and I continued the weekend of tasty, but completely unhealthy food with a trip to Hooters. Since then, I've done some sitting around, some portrait work, some webpage work, and some music-listening. Tonight is National Treasure, but not until later. I have some time to kill.

Interesting thing I learned this weekend: A guy I went to gradeschool with, and who attended several of my parties on Underhill, is a major suspect in the serial killings of druggie hookers around the area. True story. Apparently he recently disappeared when the fuzz started knocking on his door.

Fact: Before Pearl Jam was my favorite band, the spot was held by Poison. Before them, I don't recall.

Memory: On some random 4th of July, we were in a field playing with fireworks. Fabish lit a Roman candle and started trying to hit Callahan as he ran around avoiding the firey balls that were being launched at him. He ran behind Stephanie, and Fabish was a bit slow with his reaction time, apparently. The great ball of fire landed directly in her hair. She tried to laugh it off, but was visibly pissed. She only got more upset when clumps of hair started falling out and a chunk of what remained was black. It also stunk.

Sometime around my

2004-11-28T17:00:00-07:00

Sometime around my posting time on Saturday, I decided my entire 4 day Turkey Day weekend was shot. There was no hope to turn it into a productive weekend, so rather than try to force myself to do stuff I didn't want to do (IE- laundry, cleaning, portraits, etc.), I simply sat around. Like Peter from Office Space, I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I hoped it would be. We even canceled plans for National Treasure, instead opting to keep sitting around (but with Angie at this point), and watch some TV. I had gone out on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, so come Saturday I was ready to stay in, not spend money, and relax.

The Thanksgiving feast continued on Sunday when I managed to get a hold of Polk and head to Dynasty for some wonderful Americanized Chinese food. Angie and I once again skipped our National Treasure plans, since I was knee deep in a "100 greatest TV characters of all time" marathon and didn't really want to leave my couch. Overall, this was a perfect weekend.

Things I'm thankful for this year: Getting an awesome job, getting an awesome new nephew, getting closer to my family, paying off a huge chunk of my credit card debt, having friends and family to celebrate my birthday and various other occasions with, having to make the decision to stay in while getting invited out, getting an awesome job (so awesome it deserves 2 mentions), and being fortunate enough to be able to fill an entire month's entries with facts and memories without really running out of them.

Fact: When I was a kid, my family and I raised rabbits. We stopped raising them when my favorite rabbit, Butterscotch, got some kind of infection and had to be put to sleep. I think I was around 7 or 8.

Memory: Stephanie went with me to help me move the remaining junk out of my apartment in Chicago when I moved back home. That night, we saw Spike and Mike's Animation Festival, and had to walk through Boy's Town to get there. While walking through, Stephanie kept giving me tips on how to tell whether a guy was checking me out. I think it was the only time in history I was getting more looks than Stephanie.

I didn't think

2004-11-29T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't think I'd call in sick to work in my first year, but I just did. For the second time in a week, I woke up with the aforementioned stomach/intestinal crampage. I won't go into the detail I did before, but the explosion out of my mouth didn't happen until this morning. Now I think I'm feverish since I'm shaking a little while typing this and am still cold despite the huge blanket on top of me. I can smell the vomit that is lingering in the back of my nasal passage. It's foul. I'm not a fan.

So I'm sick. Blah.

Fact: Although I'm a big fan of poop/vomit/urine stories and don't hesitate to share my own, my poop/vomit sessions are extremely private. I still lock the bathroom door when I poop, despite the fact that I live alone.

Memory: Everything about living on Underhill: The Best Apartment Ever (except for maybe Brice's).

Next month's theme: Pictures with every post.

I'm still sick

2004-11-30T17:00:00-07:00

I'm still sick and have no motivation to dig up pictures to post here. So I'm not going to.

Yesterday was a pretty awful day. The entire day was spent puking or pooping or sleeping and being generally miserable. The highlight was finishing 2 glasses of orange juice, only to puke it up a half hour later. It was still the same bright orange as it was going down, with basically no difference in taste, either. I did the same thing with water a bit later, but it didn't look nearly as cool as puking up orange juice.

Today I feel leaps and bounds better, although I have puked once or twice and I still have the body ache thing goin' on. I'll be back at work tomorrow, I reckon.

In lieu of the photos I promised, here's something even better. A lot of people use eBay to find good deals on products, which is especially true during the Christmas season. Well, I don't think anyone told this guy.

So I'm back

2004-12-01T17:00:00-07:00

So, I'm back at work. Which means I don't have pictures to post. Which makes my theme for December a filthy lie so far. Don't worry, pictures are coming.

Speaking of pictures. Livejournal rocks for making posting pictures so easy with their new photo service. Including, INCLUDING, a moblog. Yes, kids, if you're a nerd like me with a camera phone and a moblog no one ever looks at, now you have the option of posting to your LJ! Which is huge, see, since that increases your audience from 0 people to at least 5 or 6, which rocks.

Speaking of not being sick anymore, it felt good to leave the house for the first time in 60 hours or so. It felt even better to eat for the first time in just as long. I was sick of being in my house with only 2 short visitors daring enough to risk their own health to bring me soup, medication, and orange juice. Thanks to Angie and my dad for your potential sacrifice. And thanks to Winnie for keeping me company in the remaining 59 and a half hours I was without company.

I found a buyer for junkmachine. The sale eliminates a huge chunk of credit card debt and frees up a huge amount of time to devote to new projects. I should be debt free by March. The portraits aren't included in this estimate. I may be out by February if you include those.

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2004-12-02T17:00:00-07:00

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The picture below

2004-12-02T17:00:00-07:00

The picture below was taken with my phone by Joshy T while I was drunk. I claim no responsibility for it.

So last night was a nice company dinner at Alexander's Steak House. It was awesome and free, and awesome because it was free. Today was lunch with Angie, Mullens, and Alan, and then was a bunch of Christmas shopping. Tonight is dinner with my boyz.

Say hi to my new and old friend, sadiep.

To the right

2004-12-04T17:00:00-07:00

To the right is an awesome photo of me and Mullens. I think I'm showing my molars for some reason, which caused a droopy eyelid and an overall very flattering picture.

So, Friday was dinner at Bennigan's, which was expensive and they didn't encourage the sit-around-and-drink-and-talk that our normal hang outs do. The Monte Christo looked good, but I didn't partake. My stomach is still healing from my horrible illness.

Yesterday I saw Polar Express with my nephew and a whole slew of other people. It was okay, but Jack sure wasn't impressed by it. He wanted to leave. Last night was a dinner with a couple of married people and Angie. We went back to one of the married people's houses to play poker, where I came in a disappointing 3rd place to, and get this, the TWO WIVES. The guys and Angie were just sort of scratching our heads and chalking it up to luck. I like to think I finished in first place of people who knew what they were doing.

Today I think I'm going to work on portraits, then set up my Christmas tree and maybe even wrap Christmas presents, depending on how motivated I am. Big day.

The picture

2004-12-05T17:00:00-07:00

The picture has nothing to do with the post. It's just a picture I took during or blizzard a couple weeks back. Even an ugly chain link fence is pretty with a few feet of snow on it.

I'm getting into the holiday season by setting up my Christmas tree with a little help from Angie, as well as wrapping all the gifts I've bought with a little help from no one. A lesson I've learned from the holiday cheer: Don't get your tree topper at WalMart. Write that one down and keep it with you at all time. Refer to it when temptation strikes.

Quick notes: Almost done with Christmas shopping, bought a new coat, my dog rules out loud, almost all my clothes are clean at this instant, and I am so rich this Christmas it blows my mind. Life is great.

Ate some sorta

2004-12-06T17:00:00-07:00

Ate some sorta homemade lasagna yesterday, then finally saw National Treasure. The movie was pretty good, the meal was really good. Then I came home and worked on portraits and watched The Biggest Loser. This is a boring entry, but I doubt anyone will read it since I'm editing a 12 hour old one. Such is life.

So to the

2004-12-06T17:00:00-07:00

So, to the left is an awesome picture of me and Alan at Jimmy's. I like it for a few reasons. 1. It's not completely unflattering for me. 2. The lights in the background are freaking awesome, although the streaking (my favorite part) is probably due to the camera on the wrong setting or spilled beer on the lens. One of the two.

So, they changed up one of my favorite programs and made it a ton worse. It's supposed to focus on technology, but with the host being a dipshit, it's hard to learn about the latest gadgets.

Chi Lan, you're a fucking moron. Stop being on TV right now, please. I'm begging you. I just watched my DVRed episode of The Screen Savers, and allow me to correct you on a few mistakes because you're a moron.

Chi Lan on cell phones: When a user calls in asking about inexpensive camera phones, here's a few tips: 1. Don't start by recommending a ridiculously expensive and hard to find Nokia smart phone. This is especially true when you haven't the foggiest idea what carrier the caller is on. You probably should start by asking that. 2. Camera phones that are over a megapixel are getting to be very common. Verizon alone has 2, the v710 and Koi. Saying the Nokia is the only phone on the market with a megapixel is retarded. 3. Sprint VGA phones. Great suggestion, except you don't know if the caller was on Sprint and even so, you probably should have said something about the phone being a Sanyo, since VGA is a resolution not a model number. 4. Holy crap, I can't believe you threw out a model number that wasn't a vague statement. Too bad it was the Samsung A600, which a. is still on the Sprint network. If you're going to throw out a bunch of phones with no rhyme or reason, perhaps you should cover all carriers? b. Uh, it's inexpensive because it's nearly 2 years old and not manufactured anymore. Verizon recently discontinued the 600's brother, the 610. Both got extremely bad reviews. I can say that because I used to own the 610. Don't recommend a discontinued product panned by both critics and the general public.

This rant brought to you by a cell phone nerd.

Chi Lan on digital cameras: I was hoping this was meant to be a joke, since it was funny and akward to watch. So, Chi Lan, after telling me about the delay a digital camera has between shots, why don't you tell me how quick yours can take photos? Oh, 3 per second? That's awesome! Oh, wait, not awesome... I meant bullshit. That's what I meant to say. If you don't know the answer, it's okay and better to admit it rather than throw out nonsense on air. Oh, and shutter speed is measured in fractions of a second. I forgot what you said it was measured in, but I remember it was wrong and I remember that you're a moron.

Chi Lan on video players: I don't know what kind of TV you're watching, but there's more than 29.99 frames per minute. I assume you were trying to be a fancy pants and not say 30 frames. But, first up, it's approximately 30 frames per second, not minute. And second up, if you're going to get fancy about it, it's 29.97 frames per second.

And if you want to get accurate about it, its only 29.97 frames per second on the TV to account for the interlacing. On the computer or handheld devices, its a full 30 frames.

I hate the new TSS, but will continue to watch with hatred. I hope someday Chi Lan's head explodes on air. Even her emo glasses can't make her watchable.

I wish everyone

2004-12-08T17:00:00-07:00

I wish everyone got a do-over. At some point in your life, you could look back at some other point in your life and think "wow, I wish I could do that differently than I did." Then you'd get to redo it and live as if things went your way the first time. Wouldn't that be great? I mean, I guess it could also bite you in the ass if you did it wrong. Like if your do-over was to spend more time drinking and less time studying in college, which could have gotten you in a serious car accident and in a wheelchair. Or if your do-over was to make a move on a pretty girl in high school, but you ended up marrying her and having a horribly suffocating marriage that ended in divorce and you losing a ton of money and a house.

So you'd have to choose your do-overs carefully as to not mess things up more. Myself? I think I would have charged less on my credit cards. It's taking me years to fix that mistake, where a do-over would fix it instantly. I can't imagine there would be negative consequences to that.

All in all, my life is filled with very few regrets. Mostly because I'm overwhelmingly and extremely happy and content right now, and I realize that if anything I had done was TOO different than how I did it, then I would probably be in a worse place. Sure, there's things I would have done slightly differently, but very few things in my life that I can look back on and think "I would be so much happier and better off if I had done that another way." Nope. Things are good. I'm lucky in that regard, I guess.

What would you do-over?

Picture is coming later. Don't worry.

Dear people I

2004-12-09T17:00:00-07:00

Dear people I eat dinner and drink beers with every Friday,,

I've decided my Christmas present to you guys is to buy you all dinner and drinks tonight. I reckon this will be my last Friday before Christmas that I'll actually be available, so you better take advantage of my offer tonight. No rainchecks will be issued.

Wolfie, even though you never come on Fridays, if you're off tonight the offer extends to you. And Tiffany. Okay, anyone reading this who I know in real life, if you want a free dinner give me a call.

Sincerely,
Santa

PS- I may not be able to make it at 6:00 tonight. Perhaps we can push the start time back?

I know the

2004-12-09T17:00:00-07:00

I know the picture is hard to make out, but it's a car upside down in the street with a fireman sweeping up glass in front of it. I know its a bit morbd to take a picture of an accident as terrible as that one, but then I thought... how often do you see a car upside down on the road? I had to preserve it.

So last night was Friday at Richards. It was good as usual.

The photo to

2004-12-10T17:00:00-07:00

The photo to the right was taken on my exciting trip to the throbbing metropolis of Heywood, Illinois. I had a meeting with a photographer down there dealing with a bunch of web-related nonsense. Whoda thunk that my full time job would land me so much side business? Anyway, the meeting went well and will probably lead to more work. The drive was boring, and reminded me of how I need to get an actual car for when I need to spend more than 15 minutes driving. The Jeep is frustrating on long trips.

After that I had lunch with Angie. I came home and saw Alan was waiting at his new house. Yes, the technicalities have been dealt with and it's mostly official. Alan and I are neighbors. Which rules hardcore. Anyway, so Alan and I chit-chatted and ran a few errands. Tonight is a low-key night, since I've been out drinking far too often, and today marked the 6th day in a row that I had to wake up early. I'm taking Monday off, burning up some more time off I'll lose if I don't use it by the end of the year.

I'm tired.

So on Thursday

2004-12-11T17:00:00-07:00

So on Thursday Angie and I had our office Christmas parties, but made plans to call each other around 8:00 for an excuse to leave and meet up for drinks. I left my party around 8:15 or so and went home. Around 9:30 I'd given up hope that she would call and prepared for bed. A few minutes later, she calls asking me to go to American Pi with her and some of her work friends. I reluctantly accept her invitation, since she sounded like she really needed to talk to me about something.

At American Pi she was being a stumbling, bumbling drunk, falling over people and slurring her speech like crazy. She kept hanging on me and grabbing me and hugging me. She's an affectionate girl and none of this is out of the ordinary, but I've been getting the impression the last few weeks that maybe she wants to be more than friends. So I was being a bit paranoid about it. When she started kissing my cheek incessently, I figured something was up. When she hugged me and kissed my neck, I knew something was odd.

A few times during the night, she told me she loved me. Angie and I are no strangers to saying we love each other, but we usually do it in the same fashion Polk and I say it to each other. Like "Yeah, love you too, buddy." She seemed to say it with a lot more...um... meaning, I guess? I don't know. I tried to laugh it off, but she kept saying things like "No, you don't get it. I love you. In that other way. You don't love me in that way." I tried to tell her that I'd be glad to talk about this when she was a little more sober, but it's hard to reason with a drunk person like that.

Anyway, so her friend Pam kind of stepped in at some point and pulled Angie away from me to have a talk with her in another part of the bar. I took the time to make friends with a stranger named Derek who was impressed by the patience I showed with the 8 drunk girls I was with. He seemed like a nice guy.

So when Angie came back from her little talk with Pam, she walked up to me, stood in between my legs as I was sitting on a bar stool, put her forehead to mine and said "Tim, I love you." A second later her tongue was in my mouth and her friends were clapping and cheering for her. The display lasted about 30 seconds before I broke it off, figuring she would be embarrassed about it, either by me or her coworkers. She put her head on my chest and apologized profusely. I tried to tell her it was okay. The event was repeated a couple times that night, once even being documented by Angie's camera phone. So I took her home, took her dog out for her, and made sure she made it to bed with a bucket just in case. I got home and emailed Steph to ask for girl advice regarding the matter.

Ever since, it's been on my mind. And not one of those things that's on your mind in the background, it's one of those things that I try to turn off and I can't figure out how. It's a delicate situation that I don't want to explode in my face. Or hers. I've tried a few times to discuss it with her, but she plays the "blackout" card, saying she doesn't remember anything and isn't interested in me telling her what happened. Things aren't awkward between us, though. I mean, there's nothing "wrong", anyway, but I do think there's reason for a bit of unusual activity or uncomfortable moments. We don't have those. And that's a good thing.

So, how do I feel about Angie, you ask? I mean, that's an important question since if I don't feel anything for her, then I guess I could just forget the situation ever happened and be done with it. But honestly, I think Angie and I would make a good couple and I would be open to a relationship. There's some things holding me back, but all of them are easily overcome. The biggest issue right now is that I like being single and don't really have any desire to have a girlfriend. Angie isn't the type I could casually date, due to us being friends for the like 12 years or so. We'd have to make the jump immediately into relationship, and I don't know if I want that, necessarily. I do feel like we could become the victims of inaction if Angie keeps refusing to talk about it. The last thing I want is for that one night to be confessed to, then neither of us do anything while knowing the other wouldn't be opposed to the idea. Does that make sense?

I don't know if I love her any more than I love any of my other friends. I think I probably do, though. I know I look forward to seeing her, no matter how I often I see her. I never get sick of being around her like I do with some of my friends. I seem to laugh more when we're together. But the "love" word is a big one for me.

Anyway, my fingers are crossed that she'll want to talk to me about it eventually. Until then, color me confused.

Yesterday sure was

2004-12-12T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday sure was exciting. I took the day off so I could take Angie into surgery and be the "responsible party" for her. It involved signing some papers, driving, and a whole lot of waiting. I took my portraits in and worked on them during the waiting part.

After that we hit Buffalo Wild Wings to put some food in her belly for the first time in a long time, then rented some movies and spent the rest of the night keeping her arm elevated. Good times. Mullens was there for a lot of the night's events, so I've attached a picture of him asleep as Angie and I watched Dodgeball. Enjoy.

So for the

2004-12-14T17:00:00-07:00

So, for the past few days I've had a pretty nasty pain in my abdomen and left side. I assumed I pulled something while working out a few days ago, but ever since the pain has gotten worse instead of better. I used the internet to self-diagnose, which I know is always a bad idea. Now I'm all paranoid about some obscure disease I probably don't have, but will go ahead and do the treatments recommended by the almighty internet just in case. One of the main things it recommended: Fiber supplements. I'm totally pumped about getting back on my fiber supplement kick, with an actual reason this time. If that doesn't make things better, I'll be forced to make a trip to the doctor's office for the first time in a few years.

Edit- I called my mom since she's a nurse who knows how to deal with this stuff. She says that it's not only possible, but likely that my "flu" a week or 2 ago as well as the event with me waking up with a poop/puke fit a week earlier may be related to this "infection". She suspects it has to do with my appendix. On her advice, I'm going to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor.

Picture coming a little later, when I'm not at work.

Below is a

2004-12-15T17:00:00-07:00

Below is a completely random picture of Bryan J.

So, yesterday the pain in my belly hit the "constant and unignorable" type of pain, prompting a trip to the doctor's office. He basically pushed on my belly in a few painful areas, then told me I had a torn muscle. What about the possibility of infection, I asked, noting my fever and 2 sicknesses that happened in relatively close proximity to this? "No diarrhea means no infection," He replied. But why is it getting worse instead of better if its just a pulled muscle, I inquired. "Because your belly is impossible to rest. If you're pooping normal, you're fine. Take some pain reliever. Now pay me huge amounts of money for my trouble."*

So he ended up giving me some pills that let me sleep through the night yesterday, which was pretty awesome. Then I came home and finished up my last portrait of the season. Praise the Lord that we're too close to Christmas for me to accept any more of those stupid things. I got burnt out pretty quickly on them, although the money was pretty good.

Edit - I had this truly bizarre dream last night. Those who know me best know that the only real nightmares I have involve me killing someone, either accidently or on purpose, and having to cover it up while the police are hot on my trail. The thought of that just terrifies me. There's also a variation that someone I know kills someone and I have to help that person cover it up.

Anyway, I had another one last night that was way more vivid and realistic than I like to admit. It involved a guy I work with who accidently crushed his baby when the baby wouldn't stop crying. We had to dig the baby out of a shallow grave and re-hide it since the police were on to the guy who did it. With the help of Fabish and Mullens, who I'm still not sure how they were involved, we dug up a baby's corpse and transported in to an old, broken down church and hid the body there. The rest of the dream dealt with running from the cops and trying to keep my co-worker from freaking out. At one point I ended up walking in on a conversation between Mullens and Fabish discussing whether they should turn in me and my co-worker. At that point, they said I could confess with them and we'd just turn in the guy I worked with. In real life, I don't see how this would have even been a decision. I would have turned in the guy long before I ever helped him dig up a body, but in my dream it was a real dilemma for me. I woke up in a cold sweat and praised the Lord it was just a nightmare. I get these 2 or 3 times a year, I'd say, and they never stop scaring the hell out of me.

Well kids since

2004-12-16T17:00:00-07:00

Well kids, since I haven't seen nearly enough LJ posts for today, I've decided its time for a bit of a lesson. Some serious geekery is contained below. I hope you all appreciate it.

First up, an ultra-important link is here. That's LJs new photo hosting service, making it really easy to post and share your photos with your whole small audience. Use it. Give me something interesting to read. Plus, use the service as a moblog.

For all other LJ geekness, you need FireFox. Why, you ask? It's a browser that allows anyone to write extensions. Extensions are seperate little goodies that increase functionality.

Once FireFox is installed, you need Deepest Sender. It's like an LJ client, only its built into the browser, meaning you can browse on one side and update on the other.

The other important goodie is LJPost. That will allow you to right-click on any webpage and select "post in LiveJournal". The link is automatically added to your "Update your Journal" page, or will even update in Deepest Sender.

And finally, you need this extension, but only if you're a paid user, to notify you when your LJ friends list is updated.

Now get updating, suckers. I'm sick of a friends page that doesn't update.

All sorts

2004-12-19T17:00:00-07:00

All sorts of fun this weekend. I kicked it off on Friday with a short nap to prepare me for a long night out at Big Al's. I showed up fashionably late as to not be the first creepy guy to show up and sit alone, only to see that everyone else had the same idea except Wolford, who looked so sad and lonely sitting there surrounded by scores of nude women.

The night was fun and I bought Wolfie a lap dance from the crazziest stripper you'll ever see. I'd post some of her craziness here, but it would be deemed nearly pornographic. At around 3:45, I decided my nap wasn't long enough and I needed to get home and sleep ASAP.

Saturday was a ton of cleaning to prepare for our Christmas party. We put the Fryday in Saturday with Alan's turkey frier. It was my first experience making/eating a fried turkey, and I can't wait to do it again. We also had stuffing, mashed potatoes, and other good goodies.

Sunday I woke up early and headed out to my parents house to see my family from Georgia. I came home, cleaned a little from our party, and then met my Georgia family again for lunch. I had a few hours to kill in between the meal and the obligation I got suckered into: babysitting my nephew and his cousins. A few precious hours of my life were spent in complete misery, along with my dad, as we watched 5 children while only being related to one of them. I managed to survive, somehow, and came home to get some much needed sleep.

I can't wait for the holidays to be over. Every night this week is something else and all I wanna do is... well... nothing.

For a couple

2004-12-20T17:00:00-07:00

For a couple days now, my nephew Peter has been getting progressively sicker. Finally it was bothersome enough that my sister took him to his doctor, who promptly admitted him into the hospital in the intensive care unit with a bad case of pneumonia. He's in the hospital now and will be for a few days.

I know not everyone reading this is the praying type, but if you are, a little prayer that he gets home for Christmas would be appreciated. If you're not the praying type, maybe just think good thoughts about healthy children and direct a little of that positive energy towards my nephew.

It's not life-threatening or anything, but I think everyone would like to see his first Christmas spent at home and not the hospital.

I am a

2004-12-21T17:00:00-07:00

I am a hot commodity this Christmas season, I tell you what. Everyone wants me to go to their Christmas gatherings. Of course I'm almost always invited to my own family's get togethers, but on Friday I'm hanging out with Angie's family, and just tonight my quiet dinner with Polk turned into a par-tay with his whole family. My favorite part of the night was when Kat ran up and gave me a hug, to which I replied "Hey, nice to see you again!" Her response was "Oh... have we met?" It was pretty hilarious.

So a recap of the last few days, for the sake of my memory rather than your reading pleasure. Monday I did Angie's dishes for her since she has a crippled hand that can't get wet. Then I drug her to the hospital to help me find my nephew's hospital room, since she knows her way around the joint. A quick hello and goodbye to my mom and sister followed, before jetting off to Famous Daves to meet the rest of my family. Then back to Angie's for a little The Day After Tomorrow action where I was less annoyed by cancer and wolves than I was the first time.

Yesterday was more family fun when I went to my aunt's and ate until I was sick. The younger members of the family got, opened, and played with toys while I talked more to the middle generation of family and got utterly confused when talk of The Wasson Kids started. We watched some Chicken Run in my aunt's movie theater, which is quite literally a theater, ate pork chops and cookies and deer meat but not at the same time, and I got crazy tired around 8:30. I punked out and canceled plans to have a few beers with Mullens because I'd never been tireder in my life. So tired that tireder looked and sounded like a real word (and I know it's not, so keep your mouth shutted).

Tonight was dinner with Polk alone after The Blandon punked out on our last minute plans for something I like to call a "previous obligation". I stopped by his family's Christmasishidon'tknowhwattocallitparty, drank a beer, talked about my neighbors, was astonished at the pure craziness of the youth, amazed by the huge size of the family, and impressed at the noise level of the shindig. And now I'm home, ridiculously tired but looking at the clock and seeing 8:50 and knowing that there's no way I'd be able to sleep until my alarm went off if I went to bed now so I'll force myself to stay awake for at least 20 more minutes to insure I'll sleep more tonight, wake up later, be more awake for longer tomorrow, and be able to party it up like a rockstar.

This entry contained many run-on sentences, but I hope you've enjoyed it.

I've posted a lot of entries without pictures so far this month. To make up for it, I'll post a shitload of pics all at once before the month is through.

I had forgotten all about Monkey Brains until tonight.

Edit: For an update on my little nephew, he's doing better. His fever has gotten better and his breathing is mostly unassisted. He moved to a non-intensive-care floor last night at some time. They'll continue to give him breathing treatments and such, and everyone's fingers are still crossed that he'll be home by Christmas. It's not looking good though... I would say my chances of spending another Christmas morning in a hospital are pretty good.

For those wanting

2004-12-21T17:00:00-07:00

For those wanting a cheap, last minute Christmas present, here's something I stumbled on:

$10 DVD player

Note the 1 per customer deal. I tried ordering 5 and it wouldn't let me. Such is life.

2004-12-22T17:00:00-07:00

The picture below

2004-12-23T17:00:00-07:00

The picture below is my nephew Jack while my parents and I were at my aunt's house. He's trying to show that the green candy he ate turned his mouth green. I'm not sure how well that comes across in the picture.

And while on the subject of my nephews, my nephew Peter got out of the hospital today. He was there for 5 days and is now excited and a tad freaked out to be home. I'm glad his first Christmas will be spent not in a hospital, although now Christmas morning may be moved from my parents' house to my sister's, which means it will be my first Christmas morning ever not spent at home. Well, except that one time when we spent Christmas in Florida when I was like 4 or 5.

Thanks to The Brandon who left me 12 bottles of Christmas joy. They'll be thoroughly enjoyed, for sure. Damn Verizon for messing up my voicemails and making me miss a call from the one and only B. Kelly inviting me to more family festivities. I had to skip out on account of my other plans.

Merry Christmas all.

2004-12-24T17:00:00-07:00

Merry Christmas, all. Mine was excellent. Last night was Christmas at Angie's family's joint, which was huge and fun. The best part was the gift exchange, where everyone brought various gifts, drew numbers, then took a gift randomly or from a previous gift getter. I tried to get a fifth of Jack, only to end up with a car wash kit. Angie ended up with the Jack, so we're splitting our gifts.

This morning was family time, at my parents' house for those worried I was going to have to relocate. I scored an iPod, which is the sweetest little thing you'll ever see in your life. I had talked myself out of wanting one, figuring 20 or 40 gigs of music was more than 1 man needed in a portable sense, but just holding this little gadget in my hands I know my parents made the right choice in ignoring my requests for a lesser brand. Plus it'll go great with the Power Book I'm still saving up for. I also got some cloths and sheets and standard stuff, but the iPod took the cake as the bestest present ever.

Jack loved the remote controlled car I got for him, and he was kind of excited about the block set, but completely disinterested in the horse until my sister showed him how to ride it. Good enough.

Tonight is Hoops if I can round up enough people. We'll see. Maybe it will just be a "sit around and do nothing" night. Which is fine.

As promised below

2004-12-26T17:00:00-07:00

As promised, below are 4 photos to make up for the entries without them.

On Christmas night, Wolfie was the only one who called interested in keeping up with the Hoops tradition, now 3 years strong. We called it a night early so he could go see The Life Aquatic and I could go to sleep. I'd had a big day.

The next day was spent sitting around a lot, then helping Angie hang a mirror and replace her thermostat before meeting Wolfie for Darkness. Now let me just say that I love virtually all horror movies, but this one sucked. I can't imagine anyone enjoying this movie, especially the ending. Besides Anna Paquin being extremely easy on the eyes, I can't think of one redeeming quality about this piece of crap flick. Don't even bother when it's on TBS really late one night with nothing else on. There's my review.

After that was more sitting around, a little laundry, and a little iPod tomfoolery before going to dinner and out for a few drinks with Angie, followed by Shrek 2, which was very enjoyable.

Today I ran some errands and stopped by to see Mullens' progress on his basement bathroom, and now I'm going to do a little more sitting around. I love days like this. Back to work tomorrow for a 3 day work week.

Dad, Peter, and Sarah
I think I caught Peter mid-sneeze with this one. I don't know what everyone is looking at so closely, but I suspect it was Jack being cute and/or funny.

The Whole Family
Yes, the Wasson Morning Christmas reached a whopping 7 people this year since my sister had another kid. For those out there in LJ land who always wondered what the rest of the folks looked like, there's everyone.

Jack at the speed of light
Jack played Santa this year, passing out all the gifts to everyone. Here he is, obviously on a mission, moving so fast my camera could barely keep up with him.

Jack with my mom's present
Like all good parents, my sister gave everyone presents this year "from" Jack and Peter. They didn't know what they had given, obviously, so this is Jack getting clued in to the present he gave my mom.

Fabish took me

2004-12-27T17:00:00-07:00

Fabish took me out to dinner tonight. I assumed an innocent dinner until he told me he had an announcement. I guessed it pretty quickly, but let him break the news. He's going to be a daddy. I remember when he got married, and how bizarre it was to look at my best friend as a husband (although not mine). Now I'll be looking at him as a daddy (although not mine).

Congrats to the Fabish family. The kid better call me Uncle Tim or I'll be pissed.

Well the holidays

2004-12-27T17:00:00-07:00

Well, the holidays are over now, and I'm back at work. I do have a New Year's Eve party to plan and clean for, but other than that, I find myself not doing a whole lot much of the time. It's great now, for a bit of down time from too much stuff during the season, but I really need to start focusing on side projects. As much as I like my job now, I can't see myself working for a company forever until I retire. For some reason, I still see myself becoming successful and independently wealthy, despite that I'm not really doing anything right now that would get me there.

So, this week I'm going to start focusing on my new website since junkmachine is out of my hands. I'm also going to keep working on the comic that I started with Wolfie so many months ago, now 4 pages strong. Working for a company is fine, and I wouldn't be too put out if I did this my entire life. I just want more, and I think I have the capability to get it if I just actually worked for it a little harder. All it takes it a little talent, a lot of hard work, and a little bit of luck. I did it with junkmachine and the Nintendo computer. I suspect I can do it once or twice more in my life, maybe hitting a huge jackpot one of those times, instead of just the minor one I hit before.

The picture below

2004-12-28T17:00:00-07:00

The picture below is a picture I took while sitting in the parking lot of my office building, waiting for my boss so I could follow her to a bar and drink beers. It serves a double purpose to show how I can drive a stick, which of course means I'm a real man. Manual transmission = real manly man. Simple gradeschool math, really.

So dinner and drinks with the work friends was fun, as per usual. I scooted out early since there's been some bad news floating around one of my friends I don't want to get into. I hope things turn out okay for everyone involved. Oh... how ambiguous and mysterious.

Wow with the

2004-12-29T17:00:00-07:00

Wow, with the last entry creating such a stir, I guess I should always end on a strange and undecipherable note to make sure all my loyal readers are staying on their toes.

Anyone reading this, this is your official notice that you're invited to my New Year's Party. Or maybe New Years Party, since I'm not entirely sure if its plural or possessive, and grammar is hugely important to me,.

It starts at around 8:00ish, but feel free to show up slightly before or way after. Some alcohol and appetizers will be available, but if you're picky about what you eat and drink, its up to you to bring your own. If you need directions, call me. 360-9027 (I hear it's a wonderful idea to put your phone number on the internet!).

Well, I better wrap this up. I'm expecting a very important "phone call" if you know what I mean. Wink, nudge.

PS- I need a theme for January. Who wants to volunteer one?

The New Year

2004-12-31T17:00:00-07:00

The New Year party turned out pretty well. It was just a laid back and uneventful night, which are always fun. I totally dominated in Texas Hold 'em, as per usual. Winning at everything makes my night way more fun. Of course, all this New Years talk is overshadowed by hitting the awesomest read out ever on my odometer. 088880.

Last years resolutions:

Finish my diet: Yeah, didn't do it. I started exercising with a bit more conviction, however, but I balance that out with a healthy dose of beer and hot wings.

Real Job: Done, baby! This was my most important resolution, so I'm glad I hit that one.

Pay off credit cards: Uh, no. But I'm getting close, and I should be out by March or April or some such thing.

Back on TV: Nope. And I've given up on that dream.

Side career to make extra money: Well, I sold junkmachine which made extra money, and I did portraits which made extra money. So those count, I guess. And other things are in the works.

Eat more veggies: I'm getting better, slowly but surely.

This year, my only resolution will be to get skinny again.

Polk's theme is

2005-01-01T17:00:00-07:00

Polk's theme is music lyrics. I don't think I'm a big enough music fan to quote applicable or interesting lyrics, so I'm opting to quote either my joke text messages or Maxim tip text messages.

Maxim tip: When playing poker, fold often in early hands. The real pros fold 80% of the time.

With that out of the way, I've had an absolutely stellar couple of days. Following the party, in which I got drunk on White Russians and a tad loud and yelly, I've done nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it's been great. Tomorrow I start back on my diet and exercise and productivity schedule, so I don't feel too bad about staging my own personal movie days. I haven't even gotten out of my pajamas in 2 days.

I've been thinking

2005-01-02T17:00:00-07:00

I've been thinking a lot and coming to some conclusions on a mess that's been going on in my head for a while.

I'm pretty much the happiest I've ever been right now. When I was a silly kid and not as old and smart as I am now, I used to associate happiness with a significant other. I've learned now that sometimes significant others can even make you feel worse about your life. I know, its a simple lesson, but it took me a while to learn.

I think the secret is to be as happy as possible on your own, then find someone to share your happiness with. And, if possible, get some happiness from the other one as well. If either isn't happy, they're going to average out to be unhappy rather than make each other happy. If you rely on someone else to feel good about yourself constantly, then I can't think of one way that's a healthy relationship.

But even more important than that, I think, is finding someone who is comfortable and interesting in the long run. It's easy to get a crush on someone new. It's easy to find them interesting and funny. The trick is getting to know someone, and getting to know them so well, and still being interested in them as a person. Find the person who never makes you mad or bores you, even after knowing them on basically a daily basis for years, and you've got it made.

Edit: I know that statement came off the tail end of relationship talk, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't mean it in that respect. But I also mean it in every relationship you have. Friendships and family included.

Cell phones and tardiness are inexcusable here at work, so I'm unable to fish out an old text message to post. So here's a movie quote.

You ain't leading but 2 things right now. Jack and shit. And Jack left town. - Ash, Army of Darkness

What in the

2005-01-03T17:00:00-07:00

What in the hell kind of January is this? Seriously. The temperatures are hovering right about 45 and its RAINING. Rain. In January. In freaking Illinois. Yeah, we got a pretty massive and ridiculous snow in November, but since... nothin'.

This rain should be snow. I'm pissed that I wasted my $.79 on a snow scraper for my car. Polk's winter defiance party seems like a waste now since it's like spring out there with all the rain and non-coldness. And what about the kids and their snow days? The poor gradeschoolers. What a bullshit winter. That's right. This winter is bullshit. BULLSHIT!

I remember when I was in 7th or 8th grade and we had a ton of freezing rain. Fabish and I took the chance to go down to the dam and slide down to the bottom without assisstance from a sled. It was a fun 10 second trip down, but not nearly as eventful as the 2 hours it took to climb back up on account of the snow being frozen solid and slippery. I also remember many winters past that Fabish and I would dare each other to go as far onto the frozen lake as possible. It was always a bad idea, but only backfired once. Not a bad record, considering. And we'd also build snow ramps on the dam and see who could jump their sled the furthest. Fabish always won on account of him being half my size, but one time the hand of God touched me and I flew at least the length of 3 football fields. We'd top off the festivities at Fabish's house, where his mom would make us hot chocolate with marshmallows and yell at us for not taking our boots off close enough to the door and tracking crap in.

Those were good winters. This one... bullshit.

What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this - Dignan, Bottle Rocket

After trying unsuccessfully

2005-01-04T17:00:00-07:00

After trying unsuccessfully to find someone to eat dinner with me last night, I gave up and made some hot wings. They were delicious, although eating hot wings by yourself strikes me as lonelier than eating most foods by yourself. It's the social, bar and beer stigma attached to them, I think. But pizza isn't the same way. There's something to think about.

So, pretty much all my friends know me as "Wasson". Since high school, most people I know have ignored the fact that I have a first name, and even a middle name. I've decided this somewhat lax and personable approach to my name needs to be dealt with immediately. I don't want people to feel comfortable addressing me anymore, so from now on I'd appreciate it if everyone referred to me by my entire first name, followed by my entire middle name. Timothy Joseph. If you're capable, say it in an English accent. If you're not capable, try to stretch out the syllables to make it sound more important. If you, like most, think I don't look enough like a Timothy to call me Timothy, then I insist you call me "Sir Wasson the First".

The Dude: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Ask and ye

2005-01-05T17:00:00-07:00

Ask and ye shall receive. Thanks, January, for acting appropriately today and yesterday with real snow and ice on the ground. I love it. I didn't even complain when I couldn't unlock my door and had to get in the passenger side and scoot over the hump, which is really difficult for a guy over 6 feet tall in a small vehicle with a large stick shift in the middle. And I was at work with coworkers walking by and laughing. But still, this is what winter is supposed to be about.

I braved the winter to meet Mullens and Angie for a couple drinks, breaking my streak of not leaving my house for any social reason since the New Year.

Hey, so here's something. I downloaded the new Eminem album and Alkaline Trio's From Here to Infirmary off the greatest website ever, allofmp3.com. Of course I own both CDs already (no, really), but was shocked and amazed to see that both CDs I downloaded contain more tracks than the CDs I bought. Just one more reason pirating is good, the RIAA is bad.

When you're only 23 it's not attractive to complain about your sore back - Alkaline Trio, from a super special bonus track

Free Stuff Magazine!

2005-01-05T17:00:00-07:00

Free Stuff Magazine!

Free Maxim Magazine!

Get 'em while they're hot, fellas.

I went down

2005-01-06T17:00:00-07:00

I went down to Richards with Polk and Brandon last night. On our way out, I said to Polk that he would be making a stop at Circuit City with me, since I had driven him and all. He gave me the weirdest look I'd ever seen from him before fessing that he was about to ask me if I could stop there for him. We're on the same page, me and that kid.

I managed to go to Circuit City, look at gadgets and DVDs, and not buy anything. Can you believe it?

No quote today because I'm lazy.

I think my

2005-01-07T17:00:00-07:00

I think my favorite part of the whole week is Friday when I get off work before anyone else can do anything with me, and I get to sit around waiting to eat dinner with my boyz. I really do love those few hours when I know I'll be largely uninterrupted, since it's part of the normal work week and people wouldn't expect me to be home. It's like every week I'm cheating the system by staying home and playing hookie or something. I'm a fan.

Anyway, I went out to dinner with my boyz 2 nights in a row, which was awesome. Last night they brought their respective ladies. After one of the most amazing ham and cheese sandwiches and Blue Moon, it was time to head to Jimmy's to watch old people to Jager bombs. I don't do them, but I like watching others do them. Angie's dad totally kicked ass at them, downing them like water. The old people left and Wolfie and Alan showed up. Wolfie left to look at nude girls, but I stuck around with a promise of seeing a friend I haven't seen in a while.

About an hour later I headed out to see some naked girls myself. It was my first trip to Elliot's, the newest strip bar here. In a word, it was fucking lame. I spent my time giving shit to the waitress and Rockstar Joey. Devon Michaels, apparently some famous porn star of some sort, gave me a lap dance and proceeded to just sit there and talk to me for like half an hour. I know I'm charming and all, but you just kind of run out of topics to talk about with a stripper/porn star. When she told me she made her living by fucking and sucking, I replied "Oh yeah? I work for an insurance company." She laughed a little, but still seemed to want to talk to me. We discussed her first lesbian experience, her rise to porn stardom, whether it's a good idea for a porn star to have an agent, and on and on and on. She was an interesting lady I guess. I'd never seen any of her movies.

I had better conversation with Mary, the nice waitress who Joey had a crush on. I tried to set them up on a date to Red Lobster, but fell short of my goal. He asked me if I could run some sort of teleprompter for him so he could talk to girls like I could. I told him the secret is to 1. be angry about the lack of alcohol, and 2. not give a shit what they think either way, and 3. strippers and the waitresses in strip joints are paid to pretend they like you, no matter what. You can do whatever you want and still leave thinking you are a handsome charming devil because they'll always laugh and pretend you're the shit, hoping for a bigger tip. If nothing else, a trip to the strip club is always a confidence builder (after all, I feel really strong now after beating some random half naked girl at arm wrestling).

Around 2:45ish, I decided I was tired and I didn't like Elliot's. I made my escape, walking past several cop cars and guys in handcuffs because some fight had broken out. Quite an event.

So what about this snow and winter, huh? Awesome.

You're not funny, Tom. You're fat, and look as though you should be, but you're not. - Soap, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Yesterday morning I

2005-01-09T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday morning I was on the phone to Alan, getting our act together so I could help him paint his house. Towards the end of the conversation, he told me to go to my living room window and look into his house. I followed his orders, only to look over and see Emily flashing me. It was at that point I realized that living next door to Alan will be the greatest thing to ever happen in my life, ever.

So I headed over and helped Alan paint a room. At 2:00, Angie picked us up and dragged me, Alan, and Mullens out to Kickapoo for a sausage supper something or other. All I know is that Alan paid for me since I helped paint his room and it was all-you-can-eat, so I ate a ton.

Angie dropped all of us off at our respective houses, and I went over to sit around with Alan for a bit. Then it was time for White Noise with Wolfie.

Overall, I really enjoyed this movie. Until the end.

I think that when doing a supernatural horror of any sort, you have to be really careful to not mix genres. This movie wasn't careful enough. Allow me to explain.

Electronic Voice Phenomenon is something that a few crazies believe, so when you make a movie dedicated to it, you have to realize that the people watching it are suspending their disbelief for entertainment purposes only. Using the TV to "see" the dead people was a stretch for me, but I was willing to believe that the TV could work in the same way as audio. Whatever.

However, the movie lost me at the end. As Michael Keaton got more and more into the whole EVP obsession thing, stranger and stranger and more violent things started to happen. However, right about the time that these "ghosts" ravaged his apartment, I completely lost interest in the movie.

And don't get me wrong. I love a ghost killer ghost story. Poltergeist is one of my all-time favorites. But I'm suspending my disbelief at the idea of ghosts inside radios, not REAL ghosts. See the difference? If their point was that, by examining the EVP the ghosts became real... well... I just can't buy that.

So Michael Keaton goes to a huge deserted warehouse for a grand finale, where he runs into another EVP investigator who has been possessed, as well as a kidnapped girl. This is where the movie really pissed me off. I could believe that this EVP investigator got so wrapped up in his obsession that he went nuts and started killing people. But then the ghosts got nasty and killed Michael Keaton. The only thing I could think was... if the ghosts could kill people on thier own, why did they possess this guy? What's the point? And if the ghosts are released by EVP, then why are their 3 seperate investigators in this flick? Wouldn't the first have released the ghosts to kill on their own, then they wouldn't need to come out via EVP anymore?

Hollywood, let's keep the ghost stories ghost stories and EVP stories as EVP stories. I would have liked the movie a thousand times better if investigating EVP made people insane and that made them kill other people. Their didn't need to be "real" ghosts in this movie.

But it pissed me off even more at the end, when dead Michael Keaton's voice spoke to his son in their minivan. Remember that part earlier in the movie where the expect in EVP said it was never "live", but had to be recorded and played back to hear it? Well, nevermind, it can actually come out live now apparently. Then the crippled lady turns her head quickly and its over. And why did she need to turn her head quickly? What was the point of that nonsense?

After the movie, I went home and took my standard Sunday night off from doing anything of any importance. It was fantastic.

For those who

2005-01-10T17:00:00-07:00

For those who don't know, one of the fringe benefits of my job is that I get an hour per week to work out on company time. So, twice a week I combine my half-hour lunch with a half-hour work out in the middle of the day. This is important and interesting for several reasons.

I usually jog 2.5 miles and spend 10 minutes or so "cooling down" on the stationary bike. With everyone making their New Year's resolutions, the company gym is overrun with people there who are either lazy or just doing it to get out of an hour of work. Today I was jogging at 5.5 miles per hour next to a lady who was doing 2.7 miles per hour. She started after I did and stopped before I did, then took some time to lean against the wall, "stretch" and drink water. Does she really think she's doing anything for her health?
As I get in better shape, I sweat more. I've now started sweating from the backs of my arms. I don't sweat from my chest, which is a shame.
I shower after my work out. It still weirds me out showering at work.
Today I forgot an extra pair of undies, so I'm going commando. My only other commando experience is with jeans, which I found incredibly uncomfortable and even a little scary with the zipper and all. With my khaki's, its a different and wonderful experience.

Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday Blandon.

So Angie made

2005-01-11T17:00:00-07:00

So Angie made potato soup and invited me over for a bowl. When I got there, her dog was in trouble for chewing up the rug. This may seem like an unimportant detail, but trust me, it's not.

We ate potato soup and watched the grand finale of The Biggest Loser, which sure is a fantastic show. Gary's transformation was incredible.

So at one point we let the dogs out to do their business. Winnie went in and out quickly, taking care of business then coming right back. Izzy stayed out there for a long time and refused to come to the door when called. About 10 minutes later she finally came back in, with huge foot long carpet strings mixed with shit still stuck in her butt. It was pretty much the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Izzy looked so embarassed.

After that I hung out with Alan and Emily for a while. I'm really going to like living next to him, I reckon.

How 'bout this new Mac Mini, eh? Pretty nice. And the iPod Shuffle? Now no one has an excuse to not get Appled out.

I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. -- Royal Tenenbaum

I was just

2005-01-12T17:00:00-07:00

I was just about to give January another verbal bitch slap. Last night me and Mullens were leaving Hoops. I opted to leave my coat at home, and wasn't even a little bit cold while walking to the car. I passed a guy wearing shorts. In mid-January. But today there's another blizzard, which makes me happy.

So, Hoops last night. It was the first time in a long time I got to enjoy the best pizza in the entire world for half off.

Tonight after work, I'm getting my act together and working on my new website.

Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements. - Office Space

One of the

2005-01-13T17:00:00-07:00

One of the few moments of joy I've received from The Screen Savers of late was Good Kevin telling Bad Kevin that Bad Kevin could masturbate to a picture of Good Kevin. A few seconds of silence was interrupted by Good Kevin saying "Oh, wait, no, I meant Rasterbate!" That's good television, kids.

Also, their segment on IPTV was fascinating. Imagine a world of television made for real people, by real people. Television could be like how the internet is right now... completely unmoderated and "free". Content providers would do it because they love it, and the people who view it would do it not because it was a show that was well promoted or well produced or featured cute actors... they would watch because it was a quality show made by someone who liked what they did. We're already seeing a convergence of mainstream media with television. People who make a website get on TV (hey, look at me!), and people who are on TV have popular websites. Cartoon Network just picked up a series based on a couple of cartoons some film students threw up on a website. I hear the Homestar Runner guys are fighting off TV deals all over the place because they prefer the freedom of the 'net.

In 10 or 15 years, I suspect the government will have very little to do with what we watch/listen to/do in our own homes. The DMCA was a mistake, and I think people are realizing it. The RIAA is dying a slow death. The MPAA is following the same route the RIAA did. The result will be less and less "mainstream" content and more and more "alternative" that people actively seek out. The smart content providers will figure out a way to make a living on the content they provide... selling merchandise or being clever in asking for donations, or selling DVDs of their previous stuff. The less smart or less business minded content providers will have other jobs.

It's going to be extremely cheap and easy to create something and put it up for people to watch or listen to. The good stuff will get recognized and appreciated and the bad will eventually fade away, just as happens with websites now.

But most importantly, when IPTV comes to the masses, we will see a ton of shows that mimic "Jackass". That will be awesome (ignoring the fact that I'll probably be in my early 30's and uninterested in it by then).

In other news, the Rasterbater rules outloud, and will be responsible for my next work of art for my walls. Everyone should check it out.

Toby N. Tucker: You know who I am? Toby N. Tucker. Everyone round here call me TNT. You know why?
Bobby: Let's see... they're not very imaginative?

U Turn

2005-01-14T17:00:00-07:00

What an exciting

2005-01-15T17:00:00-07:00

What an exciting Saturday night, I tell you what. The night was spent at my sister's, celebrating my nephew's third birthday. He has a habit of always crying whenever " Happy Birthday" is sung to anyone. We've figured out that its because he wants to be the only one singing. I suspect Sarah and Robert talked to him about it, since at the end of the song tonight he screamed "I didn't cry!" He was proud of himself. Later he stood on a chair and yelled "I'm an owl! Hoo hoo!" and flapped his arms. That kid is too friggin' cute.

I may or may not be going to Jimmy's in a couple of minutes. That's right. It's minutes away and I haven't made my mind up. Livin' on the edge.

Yesterday was dinner with everyone, with Angie making her first appearance at a Friday night dinner. Later we went to a hockey game where we managed to sit through half of it before getting bored and going home.

As if you

2005-01-16T17:00:00-07:00

As if you couldn't have guessed, I went ahead and went to Jimmy's last night. I showed up late and most of the people I was meeting were already half-cocked. I planned on staying for a beer then heading home, but after the talk of going downtown and cabs, I volunteered to stay until Jimmy's closed, then drive them downtown and let them take a cab home. It was a fine plan until they chose to go to The Lucky Lady and somehow convinced me to tag along.

It ended up being not as bad as I expected. It wasn't so busy, and I wasn't the oldest there. I wasn't really tired and wasn't really drinking, so I figured I could stick it out and give them a ride home. It was a fun night all around. Marie and I have known each other for years, but finally bonded after she kept telling me I was her favorite person and how she "hearted me". Her husband Dain, his friend Darren, and Angie were also there.

Today I did some laundry and headed out to my parents' house to help with their computer. Angie and I went to Chili's and to see Meet the Fockers, which was funny but not as funny as the first one. And now I'm home, wishing I was more tired so I could get a ton of sleep as I like to do before my Monday.

Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.
Shaun: What you mean?
Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
Shaun: No, I mean, what does "exacerbates" mean?

Shaun of the Dead

I had the

2005-01-17T17:00:00-07:00

I had the best of intentions last night that completely fell through when I couldn't get a hold of the one person I needed to get a hold of. I'd pumped myself up all day for the night, only to spend it sitting on the couch waiting for a phone call and for Real World/Road Rules Challege: Battle of the Sexes 2. Such is life.

But speaking of the Challenge, wasn't it awesome how excited the girls were to win their 3rd competition (out of 15), only because the boys threw it? Watching the scenes of the guys talking behind their backs about how they threw it was hilarious. The highlight of the season so far.

Thanks to Blandon for use of my old employer's basement to do some mounting last night. I completely forgot to pay for it. How much do I owe for the huge piece of foam core?

Now I know what a TV dinner feels like. - John McClane, Die Hard

I was uberproductive

2005-01-19T17:00:00-07:00

I was uberproductive to the tenth degree last night.

I washed my dog, who was desperately in need of a washing. I'd been slacking on my combing duties, figuring that its winter and dogs shed less in winter. Winnie must be exempt from this rule. She came out of the experience a lot better smelling, fluffier, and with a lot less hair on her. That was the result I was looking for.

For a bit of compressed nerdiness, I upgraded from 802.11b to 802.11g, since g is for champs and b is for suckers. I moved my old computer, updated some software, captured some video, and found out that my computer is too old and shitty to run Premiere Pro 1.5. I'll have to get a new mobo/processor to make it work. The video will be used for my new website, which I also updated a bit last night.

In between all of that, I managed to eat dinner with my parents at the new Old Chicago. It's pretty much identical to the other Old Chicago.

In other news, it's getting brighter when I wake up every morning and staying brighter for when I leave work every evening. Those who keep bitching about the weather don't have long to wait until its warm again, so I recommend everyone enjoy the winter before you start bitching about how hot it is. That's my advice for today.

So I went

2005-01-20T17:00:00-07:00

So I went and updated my whole computer for the first time in 4 years. Yes, that beast lasted me a long time with only minor upgrades, like the DVD burner. Now I ponied up the cash for a new mobo and processor, and I got a new case while I was at it. Everything else is recycled, but it feels like a brand new system. And now I can edit video with the rest of 'em. It just hurts to go from my awesome 21" and 23" LCD monitors at work to my 19" CRT, but I think I can deal for a little while.

Work was a pleasant break from the ordinary today as I helped get a little movie theater set up to display my directorial debut to everyone I work with. Next week is all sorts of fun "get to know your coworkers" projects, with my video kicking off the event. I'm a little nervous about it, to be honest.

Oh yeah, if anyone out there wants my old processor/motherboard for use with their current system, just ask nicely and buy me a beer or something and its yours. It should work with most peripherals out there and if I know ya, I'll help you set it up. It's not a bad little computer... a 1.4 gHz Athlon Thunderbird. Let me know, yo.

[What year was it?]

1998, when all the cool kids graduated.

[What were your three favorite bands?]

Pearl Jam, They Might be Giants, 311

[What was your favorite outfit?]

I had to wear an uniform to school. I suppose my favorite ties were either my Fantasic Four tie or the cool 70's style ones I took from my dad.

[What was up with your hair?]

Senior year was the year I stopped fighting the dress code. I cut it really short after spending the year and summer before with it nearly to my neck.

[Who were your best friends?]

I had a lot of friends. Mullens, Fabish, Creamer, Jody, Missy, John, Olsson, Brian K., The Brandon...

[What did you do after school?]

I worked at Kinko's 2 or 3 nights a week after school. The other nights I would drive friends home, hang out, or whatever else I felt like doing.

[Where did you work?]

Kinko's, baby. I still think that was my favorite job of all time.

[Did you take the bus?]

Hell no. Senior year I was back to sporting The Bluick (otherwise known as Bluey), after a short time away from her while I destroyed a Nissan.

[Who did you have a crush on?]

I don't want to admit it.

[Did you fight with your parents?]

Not really. I was pretty independent and my parents basically left me alone.

[Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on?]

Neve Campbell and Jenny McCarthy. I still have an unhealthy crush on both.

[Did you smoke cigarettes?]

No, but I smoked the occasional cigar and really enjoyed cigarillos. Especially when sharing them with my friends not-quite-legal siblings, like Bridget and... shit... whatever Olsson's little brother's name is. Danny maybe? I never had the pleasure of treating R.Kelly.

[Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker?]

I had a locker right next to a hot girl in a Catholic school uniform who rarely, if ever, wore a bra. I would go to my locker as often as possible and stay as long as I could.

[Did you have a 'clique'?]

Not really. I hung out with all sorts of people. Because of Mullens, I was on good terms with the football player jock guys, but I tended to fit in better with the band nerds or the smart kids.

[Did you have "The Max" like Zach, Kelly and Slater?]

If I did, it was probably Garner's or Town and Country Bowling. Mullens and I would hit both on a weekly basis.

[Admit it, were you popular?]

I wouldn't call myself that. As far as I know, I was pretty well liked and most people knew who I was, but I wouldn't say "popular" in the sense that I never went to a school dance and didn't get any cool awards like "best looking" or "most likely to succeed".

[Who did you want to be just like?]

I'm my own idol.

[What did you want to be when you grew up?]

By Senior year, I think I'd given up on being a comic book artist. I think I'd moved on to wanting to design webpages, multimedia projects, animation, etc. (And look at me now!)

[Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now?]

Jesus... 25 seemed so old back then. I imagine if you asked me at 18 where I would be in 7 years, I probably would have said married with kids and independently wealthy. It's amazing how as I get older, I realize its okay to hold off on getting older for a little while longer. But looking back at me at 18, it seems like a different guy. A different world. Bizarre.

I wish everyone knew me in high school. I was such an asshole. But a funny one.

So the specifics

2005-01-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, the specifics I promised all y'all.

For those who don't know, I've pretty much decided that I'm going to tell Angie that I think she and I should date. I think we have the potential to be a good couple, so I'd rather risk my dignity and a friendship for something that may be better in the long run.

I've been gathering my nerve for the past week or so, trying to figure out the best way to say what I need to say. Anyway, Angie and I were going to meet for drinks last night and I decided that it was as good a night as any.

We made some small talk that led into conversation about us. It's kind of a running joke that we're going to get married in Vegas on our birthday (we share a birthday) so that I'll only have 1 date to remember. That led into a discussion of baby names and how she wants a kid named Jack, but can't have one because I have a nephew named Jack. Anyway, it seemed less like the vague, jokey, and uncertain way we usually discuss our "wedding". It seemed honestly like an engaged couple who would have the same discussion.

So anyway, she started joking about how we couldn't get married on our birthday because then she'd get the shaft when it came to presents. I reminded her that there was always Valentine's Day. She took the opportunity to inform me I better send her flowers and she'd get something nice for me too. Angie and I have played Valentines with each other before when we've both been single, but she ended the conversation by saying "that's what good couples do for each other". I saw my chance to get in there and say something suave like "yeah, so speaking of us being a good couple...". But alas, at that second a mutual friend walked in and sat down right next to Angie and started yakking it up. She stayed until we left.

So that was that. In retrospect, it went pretty well and really solidified the idea that she wants the same thing I do. But right after it happened, I was just kind of upset we only got the conversation about 30% dealt with. Such is life.

Well that didn't

2005-01-20T17:00:00-07:00

Well, that didn't go nearly as well as I had hoped (written for the 2 people reading this who can make a good assumption as to what I'm talking about).

Such is life. No specifics tonight, because I'm tired and need my beauty sleep. Tomorrow, I promise.

Fantastic night last

2005-01-21T17:00:00-07:00

Fantastic night last night, I tell you what. We stopped briefly at Johnny Vig's, who didn't have food. Polk and I downed 5 PBRs real quick and we headed to Nick and Willy's. After Brandon and Kristi went their separate way, Polk and I went out to get some pie. I also got some clam chowder. Then I won a monkey out of one of those crane games in the lobby, knowing that Brandon would have been extremely jealous, not only of my skills at the crane game, but also at the fact that I got a monkey.

We stopped by Borders for a few brief moments before calling it a night. Good times. Tonight I think I'm having a couple beers with Fabish.

So to finish

2005-01-23T17:00:00-07:00

So, to finish the weekend I ate Avanti's and saw The Life Aquatic with Fabish. The next day I ate with my parents, moved some furniture at their house, killed some time at Alan's, then headed out about a million miles away with Brandon and Kristi for some pizza that can't compare to Hoops, although I guess it's unfair to even try to compare them. Then I went back to Alan's, watched some Simpsons and went to bed early. Overall, I'd say it was a perfect weekend.

"Who are you? You look pregnant." - Steve Zissou, The Life Aquatic

An exciting week

2005-01-24T17:00:00-07:00

An exciting week at work so far. Yesterday was my premiere, where the 5 minute video I shot and edited was displayed for the company. It went over well with laughs at the right places and a lot of "good jobs" following. I volunteered to pass out candy to everyone, not knowing that part of the deal was that I dressed up like a pirate during the job, since that's the theme of this "get to know your coworkers" week. There were 4 pirates who were forced to get in front of the company while the CEO said good things about us. Remarkably, I didn't care much about standing in front of 200 people dressed like a pirate. I was much more nervous to let everyone see my video. It's one thing to look like an idiot because of how you're dressed... it's another thing completely to look like an idiot because you've made a shitty video you think is good but no one else does.

Anyway, so that was that.

Oh yeah, horrorjunk.com has been a huge success so far! Okay, less huge and more mediocre, hitting 14 registered users. I suspect the first 100 or so will be difficult to get. After that, it'll be easy as pie.

It was only

2005-01-25T17:00:00-07:00

It was only a matter of time before the almighty Cecil tackled the question, and here's the answer. Remember, it doesn't matter WHY I was right, it only matters that I was completely right and those who disagreed are silly.

With that out of the way, I had a great night last night. I bowled a 143 and 148, even after taking a few months off from the game. The bowling was after dinner, which I enjoyed with John and Mullens. It was also before Jimmy's, which I enjoyed with Mullens and Angie.

A few matters of local interest: If you're in the mood for something "you don't see everyday", then head down to the river, particularly that gazebo in Liberty Park. Because of the river rising, the gazebo is flooded and frozen, like a strange ice skating rink. If you walk towards Old Chicago, there's more flooding/frozeness which begs to be skated on. Better hurry though, since when I walked by it looked as if they were in the middle of a cleaning effort.

And finally, there was a school shooting at Woodruff today. It looks like no one is safe from teenagers with guns anymore.

So I went

2005-01-26T17:00:00-07:00

So I went out to dinner last night with Angie's family. One of the bigger topics discussed: The likelihood that I went to gradeschool with a serial killer. They've arrested the guy I went to gradeschool with, but apparently it was only on evading police or something like that. The guy actually indicted on the serial killings is that guy's roommate. There's reason to believe that he may have had a hand in it, and definitely knew about it. Anyway, kind of freaky I guess, but it was freakier when I thought my gradeschool friend was doing the killing.

Anyway, this is my official announcement that I will not be attending our Friday night shindig this week. I'm taking some leftover vacation days I need to use up and have a 4 day weekend. Friday will be spent doing nothing in particular, including but not limited to, not removing my pajamas. I know that's a terrible excuse to skip out on the Friday night, but technically I'm on vacation and, in theory, not even in town. So there's that. Maybe we can do something on Saturday or Sunday or Monday night.

Well it's been

2005-01-28T17:00:00-07:00

Well, it's been an exciting few days, I'll tell you what. Thursday after work some people from work headed down to Old Chicago for some beers and pizza. Never one to turn down an invitation like that, I tagged along and ended up staying out way too late. I ended up going to Kelleher's with a couple of guys who don't even work at my company. Still, it was a fun night. I went home, invited Alan over and promptly passed out on my couch as he watched Alien vs. Predator.

I slept about 14 hours, then made the trip to renew my registration. I hate buying that stupid sticker for $80. I headed home, put my pajamas back on and started an all-day movie marathon. Angie joined in my festivities for 3 movies, and I watched 6 before falling asleep on my couch. Kind of a silly way to spend my vacation day, but it really did help charge my batteries and get me movin'. Today will be more productive.

Okay so I

2005-01-31T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so I sucked at putting the quotes in every post. Such is life. My theme this month in an effort to lose some of this winter weight is to post my weight in every post, then see how much I can lose in the 28 days February has to offer. This morning: 222.

The rest of my vacation was excellent and really helped recharge my batteries. I painted my dining room and hung artwork and moved stuff around. I hung out with Brandon at Bibo's while cleaning some of my grandpa's artwork. I saw Hide and Seek with Wolfie. I ran some errands and had some beers with Angie. Lame vacation, but it works for me. The only thing that could have made it better was seeing my boyfriend Polk.

Well kids consider

2005-02-01T17:00:00-07:00

Well kids, consider another theme cancelled. My company announced yesterday their own version of "The Biggest Loser", which means cash prizes for losing weight. Which means I need to be at my heaviest for the first weigh-in on the 15th. No eating right or exercising for this kid... money is on the line.

To celebrate, Mullens, Anna, and I went to Hooters last night. Tonight is maybe, hopefully, Hoops with Polk. Sweet.

In an effort

2005-02-02T17:00:00-07:00

In an effort to put on as much weight as I can before the new weigh-in date of February 8, Polk, Brandon and I went out to Hoops and managed to eat 4 pieces of pizza each, as well as a healthy dose of brew.

After dinner Polk and I got pie. Sorry Brandon. I was about to drop Polk off and we were laughing about how funny it would be to get pie again, and all of the sudden pie started to sound really good, and well... the rest is history. We would have called you on your cell phone to let you know the updated plans, but... oh, wait.

Anyway, then I picked up Angie's dog and took her to my house to give Winnie a playmate for a few hours. I spent the rest of the night watching Celebrity Poker and making hourly trips to the restroom while my body tried to rid itself the 8,000 calories I'd just ingested. Side note... I don't think my body is done torturing me for what I did just yet. I suspect I'll be pooping at work, which I like to avoid whenever possible.

Well last night

2005-02-02T17:00:00-07:00

Well, last night I was updated on Jaimee's latest. She's moving back to Albuwhateverkey with her parents. I kind of laughed when I heard the news, then moved quickly into pity.

It's odd though. In a matter of months, she's gone from the person I loved more than anything to a person I barely know and don't understand at all. Last May, I would have done anything for her. I supported her with my crappy cellphone salesman job, I let her make decisions about the house I bought, I paid for more than half of her car, I gave her a place to live and instant friends and a family that accepted her without question. Now I haven't talked to her for a few months (which was my doing, admittadly), and she's going to move in and mooch off someone new.

One of the things that originally attracted me to her was her independence. She wasn't a clingly, needy dependent type. She was living on her own and working, and had her own life and her own stuff she was doing. If I would have known ahead of time how dependent on me she would have become, I would have gotten out long before I did. It just happened slowly and when I found myself in the situation where I was supporting her, it was too late. I just made excuses for her behavior and defended her to others.

I got really tired of defending her. I'm still tired from it. Thankfully, I don't have to anymore. She's enough of a stranger and my feelings have died enough that I can laugh when someone says something mean (but funny) about her. And I can laugh when my friends joke about how I was out of her league and she was lucky to have me and silly to give me up. But mostly I'm laughing because I know its true.

She didn't get the job she wanted, which was sad for me. Honestly, I just want her to be happy. I'm not saying that in the cheesy ex-boyfriend-wants-to-be-a-bigger-person way. I honestly mean it. She was a person who meant the world to me for a long time, and the fact that we're not an item anymore doesn't mean I want her alone and miserable. I want her life to be fulfilling, but I want it to be fulfilling far away from me. I wish she got the job at the FBI, and if her new ugly boyfriend with weird teeth who is fat and short makes her happy, more power to her. Just be with him in such a way that I don't have to see it.

I hope she's not regretting anything that happened, because I'm certainly not. I think everything happened just as it was supposed to. But now she's going to be moving to a new place, mooching off new people, getting a new shitty job she'll probably hate and consider it better for a couple of months until the discontent sets in again and she'll repeat the process. Who knows how long that will last. I'm glad I got away from that situation when I did, and I hope somehow, someday, she's happy in her life.

2005-02-02T17:00:00-07:00

Wow it's been

2005-02-06T17:00:00-07:00

Wow, it's been a while without updates. Ya know, for me.

Friday after work was our Bowl-O-Rama, where I won a lottery ticket and bowled pretty darn well, if I do say so myself. Then I went to dinner with Sarah, Robert, Mom, Dad, Jack, Peter, and Angie. Then I went to dinner with Kristi, Brandon, Polk, and Jessica. Then I think I went to bed. EDIT - That's not true. I somehow forgot that on Friday night, my good buddy Brian called me and he and I headed to John's house for a movie, some beer, and some conversation.

Saturday Angie and I ran a bunch of errands and did some shopping. That night I had a couple drinks with Angie and Brynn.

Yesterday was the big Super Bowl day. I helped Alan do some shopping and did what I could to help prepare, although I'm not great in the kitchen and even worse at cleaning. I drank some beers, ate a ton of food, and stayed later than I probably should have. Today I'm tired, a little hungover, possibly a little sick, and just really wanting to go home and watch TV in my pajamas.

My gluttonous week

2005-02-07T17:00:00-07:00

My gluttonous week was a big success in several ways.

First up, the weight gain. Holy crap. I didn't know this much change was possible in just over a week. My belly is noticably bigger and I just feel fatter. I gained 6 pounds in all.

Second up, I'm miserable. Without my work out to give me energy and some sort of healthy food, I sit around feeling like crap. I actually can't wait to munch on some salad and go for a jog, knowing it will help me sleep better at night and wake up feeling like aces.

I'm prepared to start my 3 month journey to become my office's biggest loser and make a couple hundred bucks in the process. And I'm also ready to start what I said would be my theme for February.

Weigh in: 228, baby.
I've made it my mission to lose those 6 pounds by Saturday. Cross your fingers.

First things first...

2005-02-08T17:00:00-07:00

First things first... 226 this morning. Which puts me just 4 pounds shy of my goal for Saturday. It won't be a problem.

Second things second, I'm totally looking forward to Valentine's Day. I don't know why exactly, since its certainly not a holiday invented for us single types. Maybe I'm looking forward to living vicariously through other's Valentine's happiness, or maybe I'm remembering how miserable last year's Valentine's was even with a significant other. Or maybe my life is just so fantastic right now that I can't get down about something as silly as not having a girlfriend on a fake holiday.

I don't particularly have any plans for the big day either. My half-girlfriend is working until after I'm asleep, and all my other friends have girlfriends or fiances or wives or significant others. And yet somehow, I'm still thinking it will be a good day.

Maybe I'm just learning to focus all my bitterness toward bad drivers and not on other things.

Okay ladies in

2005-02-08T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, ladies in the audience. I need some advice.

I've been totally hardcore pussying out when it comes to talking to Angie about "things". A month or 2 ago I just knew I would talk to her about it before Valentine's Day. With the big day less than a week away, I've accepted the fact that I've failed completely.

We've already had the talk where I send her flowers. So I ordered them yesterday. It cost me more than I thought flowers were worth, but they look pretty. I'm not an idiot, and I know that half the fun of getting flowers is to get them at work so all your coworkers can "oh" and "aw" over them. So they're going to her work.

But since she's expecting those, I thought I would do something fun that she didn't expect. All I could come up with was to buy some more flowers and put them on her porch and address them from her dog, with a card and everything. The card would say something about how she and I should higgity-hook-up and whatnot. It would have the added bonus of confusing her since I don't think she'd be expecting 2 presents from someone who isn't her boyfriend.

Is this a little silly for a friend to do for another friend would it be considered "nice" and "sweet" and "a good step in the process to become the boyfriend"? Or are there better ideas from the females out there?

After my 15

2005-02-09T17:00:00-07:00

After my 15 miles on my recumbant bike and shower, I hardcore geeked out for a while working on redesigning tim.cx and working a bit on horrorjunk.com. After a few hours I went down to Jimmy's to meet Angie and Brynn. I rewarded myself for a long day of staying on my diet by consuming the worst thing I could have... a couple of beers. I managed to steer clear of the pretzels with cheese. Somehow.

224, baby.

I'm not sure

2005-02-10T17:00:00-07:00

I'm not sure how long I can keep up with this 2 pound per day weight loss thing I got goin' on, but my guess is not much longer. Down to my original 222 this morning. That's with no adjustment to my exercise, only diet. Once the competition heats up, I'm going to exercise longer too. Just wait.

Hey, so, last night I didn't do anything except stay up way too late geeking out on the new tim.cx. It's proving to be a difficult venture to say the least. A little too ambitious, maybe, but it'll be sweet. In the process I'm learning more about vlogging, or video blogging, or video web logging, depending on how short you want to make the phrase. It's a blossoming trend which is endlessly fascinating to me, even though most of the ones I stumbled upon bored me to tears.

Tonight is Webs or Webbs or something. Tomorrow is Louis CK. Somewhere in there middle is laundry.

I saw Louis

2005-02-12T17:00:00-07:00

I saw Louis CK last night with Wolfie, Polk, and Jess. It was funny. Here's a picture of the card reserving our table.

I got off

2005-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

I got off work on Friday and went running and rode my elliptical bike for a couple of hours. After that got boring, I met The Brandon, Kristi, Polk, and Jess at Webb's for an awesome BBQ beef sandwich and a couple huge beers. We went our separate ways and I went home and did some sittin' around.

Saturday I had just gotten back from my jog to hear my phone ringing. It was Alan, asking me to head next door for French Toast. How could I refuse an offer like that? We watched some cartoons, some Full House, and ate some. Then Alan went to get a new cell phone and I tagged along to see the new ones I haven't seen in person yet.

I left and ran some errands and cleaned a little and did some laundry and other fun stuff. Louis CK was that night, but I was hungry and tried to track down someone to eat dinner with. I came up empty handed. Thankfully Polk called and asked if I wanted to meet up before the show. We went to Donnelly's and I got some chicken wings.

Louis CK was awesome. It was much less PG-13 than I expected, since his Comedy Central special was really family friendly. I think the funniest parts were the jokes he told about living with his wife. I could relate.

Yesterday I ate lunch with my parents and Angie, then took a trip to Menard's to pick up a new faucet and towel racks for my bathroom. In the next couple of weeks, I'm going to be redoing that beast of a room. I didn't know how inexpensive a new sink and counter top would be, so I'm going to be getting new ones of those too.

The rest of the day was spent doing nothing in particular. And that was my weekend.

I had planned to launch more talk and memories about Valentines, but this post has gotten way too long. Another day. Or maybe later today, depending on how much work I have.

Well it's Valentine's

2005-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

Well, it's Valentine's Day. The day for happiness and love and, yes, even friendship. Let's not lose sight of that "friendship" factor, even when you're desperately single like Wolfie and feeling like crap because of it. Even without someone to cuddle with on the couch on a rainy night, you can still feel loved and love others.

I used to be one of those guys, unlucky in love, who spent most holidays lonely and sad. The rest of the week I was also lonely and sad, but to less of a degree. I'm still unlucky in love to some extent, but as I get older I'm starting to realize that doesn't matter too much. Playing the guy who never gets the girl gets old sometimes, but most times it doesn't effect me as much as it does other people in my situation.

Why? Age and wisdom and a couple dozen bad experiences I guess. I think the greatest Valentine's Day I ever had was when I was living in Chicago and Angie and Steph came up to visit. We went to Ed Debevic's, a sex shop, and watched The Big Lebowski and drank White Russians. They took me back to Peoria the next day, hungover and tired, and we got pulled over for speeding but somehow avoided a ticket. That was the best Valentine's Day I can remember, despite being single and despite being incredibly and ridiculously lonely in an enormous city where I had no friends.

Last year was spent completely miserable and fighting, despite living in a city where I belonged. Despite having a girlfriend. It's all relative.

Even with no girlfriend to end phone conversations with "I love you" (although my boyfriend Polk tends to end conversations this way), I don't know if I've ever felt more loved in my life than I do right now. Alan calls me over for French Toast. I see Polk 2 nights in a row, both featuring extended conversation, and we don't run out of stuff to say to each other. Angie will go out of her way to lend me money when I lose my debit card. Jack gets so excited when he knows I'm going to come over to see him. My dad thinks of me before he thinks of himself when he gets discounts and rebates for hardware stores. This is a great life I have. It's silly to get upset over a day that should be about love and admiration when I have so many people I love and admire. So what if we don't have a "boyfriend/girlfriend" title? So what if we don't sleep together? Does that make them less important, or should I be less happy about things because those things are missing? Not if you ask me.

Let's try to enjoy today, single or not, and concentrate on the good people and the good things in life without spending too much time focusing on the negatives. For that matter, let's try to do that everyday. That's my lecture for today.

I'd also like to mention those awesome cards that everyone used to get in grade school. Remember those? You'd make a box out of a shoebox or out of paper plates and hang it on your desk. Then you'd fill out cartoon Valentine's and put them in everyone else's box. I filled out a couple as "secret admirer" in my day, some as jokes and some real. I always loved getting the ones from the pretty girls in the classroom, and I remember the year I got 3 "secret admirers" Valentines. It didn't take much to get everyone happy and excited and appreciative back then. Why are things so different now? Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Well Operation Valentine's

2005-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

Well, Operation Valentine's Day has gone pretty well so far. I got the first round of flowers into Angie's house without her noticing, with a card from her dog that was fairly clever, but I once again pussied out, opting not to go for the "we should date" talk. I figured I would save it for the card that was supposed to be from me.

So I got a call at work thanking me for them. She didn't mention round 2 of the flowers, so I assumed she didn't get them yet. A few hours later she called back while I was in the restroom, so I didn't talk to her, but Vicki said she seemed really excited.

She called me after work, thanking me for the new boquet and telling me I made her year and other nice things that semi-sappy guys like to hear. I went by her house to let her dog out and I left a card for her to get when she gets home. I again pussied out by not leaving anything sappy or implying I wanted a relationship.

And here's why I didn't.

On Sunday we went out to lunch. All was well until I was about to drop her off. I told her I had an important question to ask her. It was just going to be an innocent "would you be my Valentine?", but she replied with something like "Well, if it's an easy question you can ask. If its a hard one, I'd rather you ask later." I told her nevermind.

So what the hell was that? I know she's been having a difficult time lately, and her time is spent at work, then going to her grandparent's house to take care of both of them, neither of which is in particularly good health. So she's got a lot on her mind and a lot on her plate. I'm assuming that was why she didn't want to talk about it. But still, it's a conversation I've had in my head a dozen times or so, and you'd think she would have done the same. You'd think she'd feel relieved thinking I wanted to talk about it, so she'd have 1 less thing to worry about. But no. Or maybe I'm thinking like a boy and she's a girl. I hate this shit... it feels like high school.

So I've been

2005-02-15T17:00:00-07:00

So, I've been sucking at my theme for February too. I weighed in at 22 today, which means in the past 16 days I've gained 6 pounds, lost 8, then gained 2 again. And now I'm back to losing.

My nights that I can cheat and eat whatever I want are reserved for Fridays with my boys. When I learned that this Friday is a no-go, I changed that night to Tuesday and ate a tenderloin and shitload of garlic cheese cracker things with Polk at the Patio Inn, which rocked. I also drank Amberbock. And made fun of our waitress behind her back.

Okay so my

2005-02-16T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so, my diet hasn't been going so well. I'm doing good at skipping snacks and bringing my lunch to work, but I have very little will power when it comes to not going out when people call me. As a result, I went to Hoops last night, but managed to stop at 2 slices somehow. This morning I was at 221.

My teeth hurt. I think my wisdom teeth are growing in. I know, I should have had them removed when I was 18 and under my dad's insurance. I don't have dental insurance anymore and Jesus, my teeth are killing me.

I loaded up

2005-02-17T17:00:00-07:00

I loaded up AIM tonight, only to have it start playng annoying audio with some annoying movie trailer. When I silenced the annoyingness, I was rewarded with a pop up window which crashed IE. And it pissed me off.

So I took the leap into Gaim, which is totally sweet. It only makes me wish I used more IM clients.

That's my nerd tip of the week.

Holy crap what

2005-02-20T17:00:00-07:00

Holy crap, what a weekend. I kicked it off on Friday with a free trip to Red Lobster, compliments of Angie. She went home early to prepare for her vacation and I went over to Alan's and drank beer and watched TV.

Saturday I decided my living room and sitting room needed decorating, so I went and bought a ton of shit to get the job done. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I painted them yellowishbrownish and greenishbrownish, respectively, as well as got new curtains and artwork and frames and the whole deal. It looks like a different house now. If I had a camera I'd post photos, but I loaned it to Angie for her vacation to take pictures of hot girls in bikinis.

Anyway, that night was Peter's first birthday, so I went out to Brimfield to celebrate. I managed to not eat cake and ice cream, partly because of the Biggest Loser competition at work, but mostly because my teeth problems are making eating anything very painful.

I left when I got a call, or should I call it a blast from the past, from Missy and Holli. I haven't hung out with them since high school, and only casually kept in touch through their college days. It was good to see them again. We went bowling and out for a few beers.

Sunday I finished up painting and hanging artwork and curtains, then drove out to Morton to help Jill with her computer issues. After that I met Wolfie, Jim, Randy, and Jill for Constantine, which was a whole lot better than what I was expecting.

219 today. Not bad considering it was a weekend.

I spent last

2005-02-21T17:00:00-07:00

I spent last night working out and cleaning and printing pictures out for decorations. When I saw Wolfie post Paris Hilton's phonebook, I couldn't resist the temptation to try and call some of them. It was after 9:00 and free, afterall. I wasn't actually expecting to get a hold of any famous people, and I assumed they'd already grown tired of answering/ignoring the calls. I thought maybe I would get to hear some celebrity's outgoing voicemail message or something. It was not meant to be.

I was a little shocked as to how many just changed their phone number. Personally I would have gone the Fred Durst route and left some promotional outgoing message, with a request to go to a website or buy a CD. Free advertising, after all. Failing that, I assumed some of the celebrities known for thier humor would leave funny outgoing messages. Nope.

The funniest things were the celebs accounts that had been hacked into. I assume they somehow figured out the voicemail password and changed the outgoing message, so Lindsay Lohan's was obviously a man trying to sound like a woman saying "I'm a whore. I'm a whore. Leave a message." That one was awesome. Vin Diesel's was a little bizarre as well.

Anyway, that was my evening. Calling phone numbers in which I knew I wouldn't get a hold of anyone. My life rules!

I took the

2005-02-22T17:00:00-07:00

I took the morning off for a visit to the dentist's office. I'm more scared than I should be about it. This is partly because I haven't been to the dentist in like 8 years and I'm worried I'll have cavaties for the first time in my life. It's also partly because I'm worried he'll tell me I need my wisdom teeth removed.

I remember when my dad got his wisdom teeth out. I was in preschool. He spent a few days laying on the couch, spitting blood into a bucket. Mullens got dry socket and randomly spat/swollowed blood. I haven't talked to anyone yet who said the experience was pleasant. Oh, it's also expensive.

It will be good to be able to eat again though. Yeah. That'll be nice.

Anyone have any "it wasn't so bad getting my wisdom teeth out" stories?

Edit- Done with my first visit. Yeah, my wisdom teeth are impacted and they're what's causing me this horrible pain. Yes, I need to get them removed, and have set up a consultation for next week to do so. Yeah, it will still be expensive but mostly covered by insurance because of the aforementioned impaction.

The good news: Still no cavaties. The doctor kept saying how I must have strong and healthy teeth, and was shocked when I told him I only brush once a day and do no other kind of maintenance to them. It was the same reaction I always got as a kid.

Hey suckers the

2005-02-23T17:00:00-07:00

Hey suckers, the best cell phone company in the universe, Verizon, is hosting a contest right now called Get Famous. Basically you make a short 1-3 minute video in any format you want (sitcom, stand-up, music, drama, talk show, etc.), then send it in. Users vote on their favorite. You win, you get to produce your show for vCast, which is Verizon's streaming video application to watch short clips on cell phones. Oh yeah, and you get $25,000.

So I really wanna do this. Anyone want to help/have good ideas?

Just for fun

2005-02-23T17:00:00-07:00

Just for fun (but with a big payoff at the end), let's recount all the car accidents I've ever been in. It'll be fun.

When I was 13 or so, I was riding with my barely 16 year old sister when a guy cut us off. She slammed on her brakes, hit a patch of ice, and skidded into a corn field.

When I was 16, I hit a parked car during my driving test (as an aside, I retook it the next day and got my license).

At least twice, I drove the Bluick into a ditch due to icy or rainy circumstances and me driving like a moron.

In a crowded mall parking lot around Christmas time, I was trying to scoot as close as possible to the car in front of me to allow a guy to turn behind me. I ended up tapping his bumper.

In my Camaro I was racing Mullens in his Mustang. We came to a turn which I got around well, then floored it. I hit a patch of gravel and slid off the road.

After my grandma's funeral, Robert was driving me back to my place. We were turning right. He was looking over his shoulder, saw it was clear, and went ahead. He rear ended the car in front of him.

I was going out for a couple of beers with Brian and John Kelly, when Brian made the same mistake Robert did and rear ended a truck.

And the big pay off: Last night, Mullens made the same mistake as Brian and Robert, getting me involved in yet another car accident. And the victim: Angie and I. Yes, I was on the receiving end. In Angie's car. It happened as we made the trek from Hoops to Jimmy's. Mullens' car blew a radiator and was rendered undrivable. We had to wait for Anna to pick us up.

Don't worry, my neck is fine and I don't plan on suing for damages. Unless he pisses me off.

I am up

2005-02-26T17:00:00-07:00

I am up far too late considering I'm an old man. I ran into a lot of old friends and wonderful people I know and I had a great night. More when I'm not kind of drunk and really flippin' tired. And half sick.

PS - choosing between Alan and Polk as my fake boyfriends is really hard. It all comes down to my facial hair preferences.

Alright so this

2005-02-27T17:00:00-07:00

Alright, so, this weekend. It was good. I had fun.

Friday was dinner with the usuals at Hofbrau, this time joined by Jill who was a newbie to the Friday night experience. Polk and I got shuffled around a bit and ended up at the bar. On the way out, someone who worked there asked if we were twins. It was awesome. I went home and started watching TV and falling asleep on my couch when Emily came over with beer. We drank and watched TV together until Alan got home. Then I went to sleep.

Saturday Alan, Emily and I went running some errands and such before going to a benefit dinner for the Steam Fitters or some such thing. I ran into a lot of people I knew, and it was good to see Jenny and Ben and Jamie again for the first time in a long time. Oh yeah, I also went to The Home Show with my parents earlier in the day.

Yesterday I went bowling and got an astounding 177! This was despite a pool of sticky shit that all of us had to side step while approaching the lane. Then we went to Old Chicago and then home. I managed to eat none of the chicken finger appetizers and only 2 pieces of pizza. That's willpower. As a result, I'm 215 today. That means I lost 13 pounds in February, although ended the month just 7 pounds lighter than when I started it.

I don't think I'll have a theme for March since I can't think of a good one and I suck at keeping up with them anyway.

Angie and I

2005-02-28T17:00:00-07:00

Angie and I watched The Manchurian Candidate last night. I didn't really know what to expect going into the movie. I knew it was a remake of an old movie, and I knew it was sort of political. As a general rule, I stay away from political movies because they're boring and I usually don't understand them. So anyway, I thought this was a pretty cut and dry political type movie, but then it broke into all sorts of weird brainwashing-implanted-computer-chip-mind-control-vice-president-killer type stuff. I don't think I cared for the movie, but I was so blind sighted by everything that I'm not quite certain. Did the previews make it out to be as odd as it was? I don't recall.

So then I went to bed and had the coolest scariest dream I've had in a while. It was my standard nightmare of accidently killing someone, then spending the rest of the dream running from the cops who are hot on my trail. But in this one, I didn't actually kill anyone, but everyone thought I had. So Mullens, Alan and I took off on a quest to prove me innocent and in the process stole trucks and ate sandwiches and other cool stuff. I'm pretty convinced this crazy bizarre dream would make a sweet movie, although it would be one of those sweet movies that most people hate and only like 16 people would love, but then those 16 make t-shirts and quote from it constantly and are so relieved and excited when they run into another person that loves the movie as much as they do and understand the quotes that they can't stop saying.

I've never felt

2005-03-02T17:00:00-07:00

I've never felt like such a pathetic, lonely fat man as when I stood in line at Cubs yesterday and looked at what I had just filled my basket with. About 20 different varieties of Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice microwave dinners (I still don't trust any of the distinctly non-American ones, although I did branch out into Italian yesterday. Next up is Chinese, I think). The lady at the checkout asked if I found everything okay, to which I replied "Yep. Well, I only needed that one aisle." The look on her face was one of pity. I was going to throw in that I enjoyed bachelor life, but I thought that would make me look even more sad. I paid and left without saying another word to her.

Anyway, I shook that experience off real quick and went home and exercised my little heart out for while. Jenny came over to collect on my debt to her after losing a bet. I took her to Applebees, where I stayed true to my diet and went with a Weight Watchers chicken sandwich thing that really didn't impress me. The guy across the aisle got my favorite... fried chicken fingers and riblets. I looked over and drooled, then turned back to my crappy, bland, tasteless, and expensive sandwich.

Also, I feel like a damned fool ordering diet-oriented stuff at restaurants. I mean, I'm 6'2", and weigh like 215. And I'm ordering a side salad or bowl of soup with a diet soda? I can tell the waitress is looking at me like "uh... you look like a hot wings and beer type, not a salad type." And she's right, of course. But then again, I felt like kind of an idiot ordering salad and soup back when I was skinny too. I've gotten used to ordering diet soda though.

That was a weird tangent, but whatever. After Applebee's we spent some time wandering around Target where I picked up my first 12 pack of Jones Soda, I believe it was Blueberry Gum flavored or some such thing. Target is the greatest store on the planet I think, and will be even better once the joint is finished with the renovations. It feels almost creepy walking through now, with plastic sheeting everywhere and places blocked off with the imitation police tape that says "Target" all over it.

Just when I

2005-03-03T17:00:00-07:00

Just when I think I'm getting ahead of the whole debt thing, something happens that blows it. This time, my wisdom teeth that are getting ripped out of my skull a week from yesterday. It will cost me nearly $900. The very same $900 that was going to get me out of debt 2 months ahead of schedule. Such is life, I guess. And the majority of that will be sent back but due to insurance crap, it'll be out of pocket to let me out the door.

After work on

2005-03-06T17:00:00-07:00

After work on Friday I went for my little wisdom tooth consultation thingie. I'm bracing myself for the worst, so that hopefully it'll feel like a non-event when I'm done with the experience. Anyway, so that happens on Thursday. I'm so excited.

I went home and worked out for a while, then met the regular crew plus Joshy Tea at Double A's, where I managed to scarf down a ridiculous amount of pizza. After that, I headed out to The Rave to meet Alan and Angie and see Hitch, which was way funnier than I expected and less girly, too.

Saturday I worked out for about 2 hours, then made a ton of stops trying to find a new countertop and sink for my bathroom. I failed. I'm going to have to special order everything, which I hate doing.

Anyhoo, then I went out for an early dinner with my whole family, including Jack and Peter. Peter is walking so well now, it blows my mind. After that I stopped by Alan's house very briefly for his fried chicken party thing, then went to see The Pacifier (no, I seriously did) with Sarah and Robert. Ya know, the whole idea behind the movie pissed me off, but it had its entertaining moments. Many of them, in fact. I'd probably watch it again, even. My favorite part was when the little girl asked Vin Diesel why his boobs were so big. Something about seeing Vin say "I don't have boobs." cracked me up.

So I went home, and Alan yelled at me from his window to go to his house. I did. A few people there had a bit too much to drink, so I stuck around and played cards until it was time for them to go downtown. I drove a couple people down, then went home and went to bed.

Sunday was an absolutely beautiful day. It was amazing. I started the day with my usual work out, then went to buy a badmitton set and get some cheddarwursts. Once Alan had recovered from his hangover, we played some badmitton, ate some cheddarwursts, and played some Texas Hold 'em. The best hand ever was when I was dealt pocket 6's, then flopped a full house. On 4th street, I had a 4 of a kind. For some reason I still don't fully understand, Emily went all in on this hand. I just laughed.

And that was that. Tonight I'm wearing my suit again. I'm pumped.

I put on

2005-03-07T17:00:00-07:00

I put on my awesome suit last night for the 3rd time ever. I looked HOT. And I don't just mean better than usual either. I was smokin'.

I was the first to arrive on the scene and noticed Martini's looked a bit dark as I walked up. That's because it was closed. I was going to call Brandon and Polk and let them know, but then I remembered they suck for not having cell phones. I went back to my car to wait for them. Polk and Jess showed up a few seconds later, and Brandon and Kristi showed up as Polk confirmed we couldn't get in. We waited in the unlocked lobby for a few others and once they got there, we headed to F. Scott's.

A few people left, but me, Polk, Wolfie, Jess, and... some guy whose name I forget stayed for some classy but expensive drinks. Wolfie and I then met the others at Richard's, but I only stayed for a beer before calling it a night. And that was my evening.

And man alive, have I been having some messed up sex dreams lately. I'm not usually the type to have sex dreams, but I've been having them every night lately. They're driving me a little insane to be honest.

I must say

2005-03-09T17:00:00-07:00

I must say, that little operation fucking sucked ass in every conceivable way.

I opted for an IV rather than just gas or local, because I'm a huge pussy. The doc assured me I wouldn't feel or remember a thing, but he was mistaken. I was out like a light, but I woke up in the middle of it to pulling on my tooth and the doctor giving instructions to the nurse. It hurt, but not much. A few seconds later, it hurt like a son of a bitch. I made a little grunt noise, heard the doc give the instructions for more medication, and went back under. That happened once or twice until I finally woke up to more pulling and prodding and drilling and the doc assuring me it would be over soon. I knew I wouldn't be getting anymore medication, so for the last tooth I just kind of had to deal with it. The crunching, drilling, tugging, clamping stuff all fucking sucked. He told me it was the worst one he's taken out this year, due to my twisted roots or some such thing. I was awake the entire time he stitched up my gums. It felt exactly like you'd think it would, and it fucking hurt.

Now my throat hurts and every once in a while, so does my mouth. My lips hurt more than my teeth do.

And with that, I'd like to run down a list of thank yous. Thanks to Angie who picked me up, waited with me, drove me home, and picked up my Vicodin. Thanks to Mullens for bringing a chocolate shake. Thanks to Alan for bringing movies for me to watch. Thanks to Emily for making me Jello to eat. Thanks to my parents for seeming a little too worried about me. And now, I'm going to waste the rest of the day with ice packs on my face and frequent trips to the potty.

That was a

2005-03-12T17:00:00-07:00

That was a nice little vacation, I guess. It hurt less than I thought it would when all was said and done, and I only dipped into my Vicodin twice, both on the first day, and both as a precautionary measure rather than because of the pain. I've spent the majority of my recovery right here on my couch watching TV and various movies, breaking the monotony of that with a short walk with Winnie (which will start hurting your jaw eventually), a lunch break with my mom and Jack, and a completely sober trip to the International Beer Festival with Alan, Angie, Mullens, Emily, Nate, and a slew of other people who I don't think I was introduced to. The beer fesitival was fun and all, even without drinking, although shouting at people will also make your jaw sore when there's 4 gaping wounds in it.

Today I feel back to 100%, except my face is still a bit swollen and the stitches are annoying, and I still have to be really careful when I yawn. But I'm mostly back to normal. To celebrate, I'll be watching a crappy horror movie with Wolfie and Randy a little later today. And in the meantime, I'm going to try to stay out of my house. I've been here too much over the past few days.

Hey so this

2005-03-13T17:00:00-07:00

Hey, so this morning was awesome. I've been doing pretty well with the whole tooth brushing thing, never skipping a day, but also not brushing too far back for fear of knocking out stitches or something. This morning I risked it a little and brushed further back than I have been, only to get chunks of skin and gum and other assorted nastiness stuck in my toothbrush. I'll be picking up a new one after work today, I think.

And I'm getting really, really sick of soup and pudding. It's driving me absolutely insane. Tonight I'm going to try macaroni and cheese, I think. Nothing liquid sounds even the slightest bit appetizing to me anymore.

In non-tooth related news, I went to Cheddars and to see Cursed with Brandon, Wolfie, Randy, Jim, and Alan yesterday. The soup at Cheddars was sub-par, our waitress was crappy, and the movie was shitty. But it was still fun.

Alan and Angie

2005-03-15T17:00:00-07:00

Alan and Angie came over last night to watch The Incredibles. I spent the rest of the evening setting up a computer for a near stranger.

So I'm about 2 or 3 months away from financial freedom, and I feel like those cheese ball debt consolidation commercials where people are jumping in the air, or opening mail with huge smiles on their faces before clutching the paper in a fist and screaming "yeah!" at the top of their lungs. More on that when I'm closer to landing back at "0"... first on the docket today is what to do once I'm out.

Between my consolidation loan and Discover Card payments, I've been paying off about $700 of debt per month. Come May, that money will have nowhere to go. I'm going to invest a little more on the side, but I'm also going to be in the market for a new car. My tastes are all over the spectrum at this point, from the ultra-awesome-but-completely-impractical Nissan 350Z and Mazda RX8, to practical-but-not-cool-and-bad-gas-mileage GMC Envoy to the-what-I'm-leaning-towards-today Volkswagen Passat. If I could get a Passat Diesel, I would definitely go that route. Unfortunately they only starting making Passat Diesels in 2004 and they're a bit pricey for being a somewhat boring car.

I'm keeping my Jeep forever and ever, so I'll have a 4WD SUV type vehicle for tugging and towing and bad weather, so that's not a factor in car choice. Any opinions/suggestions?

For those interested

2005-03-16T17:00:00-07:00

For those interested in their credit report and want a better, free alternative to FreeCreditReport.com, there's a new service at annualcreditreport.com which allows free credit reports from the major 3 unions for free once per year. It doesn't include your credit for FICO scores for free, but you can buy them for pretty cheap if interested.

With that out of the way, I ate a sandwich today. I headed to Quizno's with the idea in mind to get soup, but the soup looked and sounded awful after all the meals I've had to drink lately. I got reckless and ordered a meatball sandwich. One of the bites hurt like a mother, but otherwise it went off without a hitch.

Headed down to Jimmy's to ring in St. Patty's Day. Mullens will be tending bar, so hopefully it will be a fun AND cheap night.

And finally on my agenda of stupid shit to type about today, I turned into one of those guys I hate. I bought a pair of shoes I don't really need. I was pissed at myself as I pushed my credit card through the reader, but they're sweet shoes.

I'm the type who owns 1 pair of shoes for everything. I have black dress shoes and brown, depending on what I'm wearing them with. I have running shoes. I have Vans for casual stuff. And I have an old shitty pair of shoes for yard work and painting and stuff. That's it. But lately Alan's awesome shoes have been making me jealous, and he clued me in that they were on sale. So I bought them. I don't regret it, except that they're way too trendy for me and I feel a bit yuppyish in them.

And while buying shoes, I couldn't resist getting a couple new work shirts, since a lot of mine are from high school or Goodwill. I felt like a contestant on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy or something (not that I ever watch that show). Anyway, that's that. Happy St. Patrick's Day all.

I had just

2005-03-17T17:00:00-07:00

I had just gotten back from my jog last night when Alan called me asking if I wanted to play badmitton. Of course, I couldn't refuse. Jenny and Ben were already there, and of course so was Emily. So I cracked open a beer and played some one-handed badmitton.

Once it got cold, we moved the party inside where we played poker for drinks. At 8 we headed down to Jimmy's and spent a few hours there.

Anyway, it was good times but I realized today I forgot to eat dinner. That's probably why I feel less hungover and more just wiped out today. The office doesn't serve breakfast on Friday, so I stopped by the gas station on my way to work and hunted for something at least a little less unhealthy than other food. Thank God they were out of the chocolate pudding pies. I ended up on a little can of Pringles.

Tonight I get to see Polk again after a Polkless couple of weeks. It's a happy day.

I don't think

2005-03-18T17:00:00-07:00

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say my new website is the sweetest website in the history of the planet.

tim.cx

I'm not sure

2005-03-21T17:00:00-07:00

I'm not sure if I've just killed my tastebuds with meal after meal of Lean Cuisine, or if the dinner I had last night was as perfect as it seemed to be, but Jesus... Lean Cuisine turkey bites with mashed potatoes and gravy is like heaven on a little plastic tray. It was easily the best dinner I've ever made in less than 5 minutes.

Not much else happening. This weekend I went out with my boyz on Friday, changed my oil on Saturday, and did nothing else of any importance for the remaining days.

My only exposure to new music/music videos these days about 15 minutes in the morning that I flip between MTV2 and VH1. This morning I caught Gwen Stefani singing about rich girls. Am I the only one who thinks Gwen should make a new music video every week, but should stay away from making music? Everything from her post-Tragic Kingdom has hurt my ears, but she's oh-so-pleasant on the eyes. "I'd have all the money in the world if I was a wealthy girl"? That doesn't even make sense! Just wiggle around with your abs showing, maybe sing some of your older songs, and stop trying to write new ones. And that's that.

Also, I feel its important to note that Gwen and I share a birthday.

So how bout

2005-03-22T17:00:00-07:00

So how bout this beautiful Spring weather, huh? When I think Spring, I think 30 degrees and snowing. I guess I shouldn't complain, since the longer it stays cold the longer I get to wear my new(ish) coat.

In a little over a month, I'll have been at my new job for a year. Isn't that crazy? This year just flew by in a flurry consisting of about 85% goodness, 8% badness, and and 7% relief.

Anyhoo, last night Angie made me, Alan, and Mullens a dinner that I won't even attempt to spell. It was delicious, although I had to skip the garlic cheese bread and keep my serving small. Dieting is fucking miserable, I'll tell you that much. After that we bowled, and I embarrassed myself with the worst game I've bowled since gradeschool.

Well I'm less

2005-03-23T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I'm less of a geek than I used to be. Remember that one time I went on live, national television for an interview? Well, the show that had me on has changed channels, formats, and now, changed names. It's not even the same show, and will be removed from my DVR list whenever I get the chance to delete it. It's a sad day.

Sadder though, is the state of my former geek webpage, junkmachine.com. I spent years working on that thing. The page was plugged on television, radio, and in magazines. I got bored with it and sold it to a guy who promised to take good care of her. He didn't. The site was hacked (a weekly event when I was in charge, but nothing too horrible), and has now been deleted. More than 50,000 posts, 1,000 users, all gone forever. All that work. Gone.

I'm not that sad, I guess. Junkmachine had served its purpose... Made me some cash, got me a free vacation, got me about 45 seconds of fame. Its sad to see it completely gone forever, but in a way, its also a relief.

horrorjunk is also not exactly living up to expectations, mostly because I'm already bored and frustrated with it. I don't know what will happen to that site... probably not much. I need to focus on something with my art. Anyone can make a webpage... not everyone is an artist.

But anyway, since a big part of my geekdom died last night, I spent the remainder of the night reading a book on PHP programming (fascinating!) and listening to old school albums I downloaded off allofmp3.com. Oh yeah, I also jogged 3 miles yesterday. 3 miles! Pretend to be impressed, even if you're not. Thanks.

Brandon and Polk, are we on for tomorrow even though its Good Friday? Will places be open?

I got to

2005-03-26T17:00:00-07:00

I got to sleep in nice and late on Good Friday, then went for my 3 mile jog. I like to take along Winnie, but by the end of the second mile, she's about ready to quit. I have to leave her at home now, which breaks my heart. Anyway, after the jog I went to Mullens' house and helped lay and cut some ceramic tile... a job I thought would be about a 2 on the sucky scale, but it turned into about an 8.

That night I headed to the Penguin Tap to meet Polk, Jess, Brandon, and Kristi. Wolfie was late. I ate my awesome pizza but still left hungry, as that was the only real meal I'd eaten since last Friday. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but dieting sucks. A lot. I wasn't home for long before heading to Alan's house and wasting some time before Fabish called. When he did, I headed down to meet him and some strange girls at Sullivan's. Fabish and I chatted and left the girls alone for the most part.

Saturday I woke up and jogged, then took Winnie for a nice long walk to make up for jogging without her. Wolfie came over a little while later and we watched some of the worst horror movies ever made. He left, and I did absolutely nothing the rest of the night.

And now its Sunday. I took my morning jog and then a long bike ride since it was such a beautiful day. Now I'm wasting time before seeing The Ring 2, with Wolfie and some other people. I'm not entirely sure who else is going.

I got this

2005-03-28T17:00:00-07:00

I got this mailer in the... um... mail the other day, promising me a $100 Wal-Mart gift card to listen to a presentation about the benefits of replacement windows. Ignoring the fact that I plan on replacing the windows and even if I wasn't, my uncle owns a couple window companies around the area and my cousin owns a couple more, I just really want a free $100. I figure if the salesman pulls out the big guns and hard sell, I can whip out the "my uncle owns a window company" line and get my gift card.

Anyway, so I was calling to redeem this mailer I got and some very nice, but kind of slow, Southern lady was helping me. I told her my name was Tim, and she replied "I'm sorry, you're not on my list. I have a Timothy..." I thought she was kidding. I explained to her that Tim was simply an abbreviation for Timothy, and I'm still not sure that she bought this explanation.

And finally, in the "too much information" file... I think the thing I miss the most about dieting (with the exception of buffalo wings) is taking really big dumps. I love to poop.

Is winter done

2005-03-30T17:00:00-07:00

Is winter done with us now? After a few absolutely gorgeous days, the wind picked up and brought with it an awesomely fun hail storm and torrents of rain. The whole office building was creeped out by the hail hitting our huge sunlight that covers the entire top of the building and shines through the top 2 floors. Everyone ran downstairs and kind of overwhelmed us in the Graphics department. Still, it was an interesting experience.

So afterwards I made the trip to Brimfield to retrieve my sister's mail while she's on vacation. Driving in bad weather is so awesome to me. By this time, the hail had gone far, far away, leaving only small piles of ice here and there. On those country roads, you could see the storm front, where the blue sky met the black clouds. It was awesome. I even spotted a rainbow. Beautiful.

I took care of my parents' cat and then headed to Hoops with Angie and Mullens.

In more weather news, it looks like we're gonna be sitting at around 60 for the next few days. I try to enjoy winter, but I'm always excited when it starts getting warmer. I'm also excited to put the canvas doors on my Jeep. I'm sick of metal doors.

I'd hoped it

2005-03-31T17:00:00-07:00

I'd hoped it was an April Fool's Day joke, but the article Wolfie linked to appears to be written before April 1st. It looks like my favorite stand up comic has kicked the bucket, way before his time. It's a sad day. I'll now leave you with my favorite Mitch Hedberg quote of all time.

"I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend... don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under "D", for doughnut."

Click below for more.

Mitch Hedberg quotes

This weekend was

2005-04-03T17:00:00-07:00

This weekend was awesome. I kicked it off on Friday with dinner at the Patio Inn with Polk, The Brandon, Wolfie, Kristi, and Jess. Dinner was free for me because I'm slick and forgot they didn't take credit cards. Oops.

I turned down the invitation to Sin City because I was pretty tired and didn't feel like spending $8 to see a crowded movie on opening night at Willow. Instead I went home and started watching Cold Case Files. Fabish called a bit later and we had a few beers, then I went over to Alan's and almost fell asleep on his couch.

Saturday I did a ton of work on my bathroom. I painted and replaced all the towel bars and cabinet handles and hinges. Next week I should be getting my new counter top and sink. It won't even look like the same room.

Anyhoo, after that I headed down to Jimmy's for some basketball game or something. I didnt care much about that whole thing. It became pretty obvious pretty quick that we'd need a designated driver, so I played that role. Angie and a couple of her work friends had to go to a wedding reception, so I drove them there. That's when the weirdest, awkwardest thing ever happened.

We get to the reception and the bride, a 45 year old lady, ran up and gave everyone a hug. When she hugged me, she whispered "I like boys" into my ear and kissed my neck. I thought this was a little bizarre, but not as bizarre as when she licked Alan's face a few seconds later. As we were leaving, she kept stroking my face and telling me how cute I was. Then she leaned in like she was going to make out with me or something. I pulled back and said "What are you doing? Are you trying to make out with me?" She told me no, but she just wanted a kiss. So I kissed a 45 year old lady who got married just hours before. It was a little strange.

So we went back to Jimmy's and I drank water and watched everyone be silly and drunk for a few more hours. We took a late night trip to Steak 'n Shake to get everyone sobered up, where once again I drank water and watched everyone eat food I'm too fat to eat.

Yesterday I did a bit more work on my bathroom, drove everyone to pick up their cars, and started doing some yard work. Then Alan came up with the brilliant idea to barbeque. We picked up a Mitch Hedberg CD and paid tribute to him while eating Cheddarwursts and drinking a couple brews. I probably drank a little too much, but I feel great today.

Today I'm leaving work a few hours early to get some stuff done. Later tonight I'm bartending.

Last night I

2005-04-04T17:00:00-07:00

Last night I was one of the lucky chosen few who got to bartend at a special event held here at work. I'd never bartended before, and my skills at mixing drinks aren't quite well developped, but I had a great time with it all.

Anyway, the event was a benefit dinner for the Center for Prevention of Abuse, and the guest speaker was Naomi Judd. I didn't get to say more than a few words to her, since she was preoccupied with a bunch of photo ops and people trying to crowd around her and other assorted craziness. Most of the people working the event got to have a picture taken with her, but I wasn't interested enough to go out of my way for one. Without photographic evidence, everyone will just have to take my word for it that I met Naomi Judd, but I would have rather met Ashley.

The event ended kind of late, then I had to help with clean up duties, all while looking really fancy in my tux. I got out just in time to miss the festivities at Martini's. Sorry guys... I'll be there next month, although won't be wearing a tux.

Believe it or

2005-04-05T17:00:00-07:00

Believe it or not, I'm registered to run in Steamboat Days. It's a 4 mile or 15K (9.3 mile) race. I never, ever, ever, ever thought I would run in a race "competitively", but here I am. My goal is 35 minutes for the 4 mile, which isn't very lofty or impressive. Depending on how my training for this race goes, I may try for the 15K... ya know, just 'cause.

Anyway, to prepare for the race, I entered a program called "Building Steam". The first class was tonight. It seems like its going to be a helluvalotta fun. We ran about a half a mile and were divided into teams based on how we preformed. My only goal was to get on a team with some of the people from work who I thought would keep me on track. Mission accomplished. 5 people from work ended up on my team, which is awesome. After our half mile, we ran maybe another mile together. I think my team is going to be good for me.

So Angie is taking the Building Steam class with me, but ended up on another team. Still, it'll be nice to have her there. One more person to show off in front of. I found that I run faster and better when people are watching and I'm out to impress.

In other "things I never thought I would do" news, I think I've pretty much settled on a Diesel Golf being my next vehicle. I hate the look of the car. I think its hideous. But with gas prices hitting $2.40 I have to do something. The talk of peak oil is scaring the shit out of me. I know a diesel engine doesn't solve the oil situation, since... well... it runs on gasoline just like all cars. But it does run on diesel very efficiently and gets around 40 miles per gallon. Way better than the 15 I get in my Jeep. Plus, it will run on biodiesel or a bio/diesel combination with no modifications to the engine. I really want to support the cause of using some corn or soybeans, ya know, renewable resources, to run the car. Combinations of 20% bio are pretty common in bigger cities, although I don't know of a place in P-town to get it.

Anyway, we need something to tide us over until some genius figures out how to cut the gas out of most of todays cars. A Golf will solve some of these problems, being able to run entirely off Illinois grown corn should a gas station pop up that supplies 100% biodiesel. I want to support the cause of finding alternatives to standard, inefficient gasoline engines. The Prius and other hybrids are good starts, but they're outta my price range and can't run on anything but non-renewable resources.

So there's my rant. VW Golf, here I come.

So the weekend

2005-04-10T17:00:00-07:00

So, the weekend, from the top.

Friday I got off work, ran for a few miles, then went to Webbs to meet Polk, Brandon, Kristi, and Jess for some dinner. After that I went home and went to bed. Saturday I took a long ass run with Angie, followed by a long ass walk with Winnie, where we got completely and utterly lost at the cemetary again. After that I was completely beat, but not tired enough to skip on Alan's barbeque. I somehow managed to not drink any beer and not eat myself stupid, since there's only a month left in this weight loss compeition thing at work. I was still home and in bed by 9:30. Sunday I woke up early to run the 4 miles I'm going to be running for Steamboat Days. I was either early or late or showed up at the wrong place, since there was no one else there. I ended up jogging on my own, but didn't have the foggiest idea what the course was. After that I took Winnie for another long walk and went to the new Kohl's with Angie to pick up new running shoes. Alan came over a little while later and we saw Sin City. And that was my weekend.

Lately, because of my road rage tendencies, I avoid the "fastest" way to various locations, and end up taking the "least frustrating" way. With all the construction around Peoria, people are slowly finding their way to my route and pissing me off. 4 way stops are the worst... people have no idea how to act at a 4 way stop. Today a guy across from me went out of turn, stopping me from turning left. I did my usual "honk for 30 seconds and look at him weird" thing. He actually stopped in the intersection and started yelling something at me. Since both our windows were closed, I have no idea what it was. Then he started convulsing and shaking a little bit, then finally flicked me off and peeled out and drove away. By the end of the event, I was laughing hysterically and still honking. I guess I was kind of an asshole, but not as much as the other dude. Well, probably more than the other guy. But still, it's a 4 way stop, not a "4-way-go-whenever-you-want".

Still, I realize I have road rage issues I need to get over. I should figure out how to not get so pissed at other drivers.

I went running

2005-04-11T17:00:00-07:00

I went running with my new running shoes yesterday. I didn't realize what a pleasure running could be! Seriously, these new shoes rock. I didn't think they'd make much of a difference for me.

Also, for the remainder of my Biggest Loser competition at work, I've decided to give up on caffeine. That's something I've never bothered doing, even at my thinnest and healthiest. I always had a healthy dose of caffeine. I was drinking 4 or 5 diet sodas per day and decided that was too many. I'd also read online that caffeine makes your body more efficient at storing fat, which, ya know, is bad. Anyway, so I quit the whole diet soda thing cold turkey, only to be fighting off horrible headaches for the past 3 days that I'm associating with my lack of caffeine. Those seem to have subsided now, and I've successfully switched from a diet soda addiction to a Propel fitness water addiction. This stuff rocks.

So I didn't do much last night, outside of fast forwarding though episodes of Attack of the Show (which, Jesus, that show sucks), and watching The Inferno 2. I was on the edge of my seat during the Inferno between Landon and Karamo and even found myself biting my nails a bit. Then I realized how sad and pathetic that was.

Ya know I

2005-04-12T17:00:00-07:00

Ya know, I appreciate the City of Peoria being worried about our safety during the massive 74 project and all, but I can't help but think that assigning crossing guards is a bit of an overkill. It's odd walking across the street, being closely followed by someone who looks semi-official while trying to make small talk. I guess its nice not having to hit the crossing button myself.

Anyhoo, I completely geeked out last night, re-reading parts of my PHP/MySQL book and finally getting the motivation to try it myself. The result can be seen at tim.cx, which is now entirely PHP based. I put a user registration system in, along with a members only page that you need to be signed in to use. I'm under no illusion that people will actually visit/register for tim.cx, but I thought it was a simple, nice project to get my feet wet with the process. Teaching myself PHP is like the good 'ole days in 96 or so when I, with help from The Brandon, taught myself HTML. I don't think PHP will come as easily to me, but I'm having fun with it for now.

Up next: Commenting ability on moblog pictures and pictures in the picture gallery (not that I expect anyone to use them).

Well last night

2005-04-16T17:00:00-07:00

Well, last night pretty much ruled. It was back to Kouris for the first time in several months with Polk, The Brandon, Kristi, and Jess. We saw Jen and Mel and Mr. Conley and all was well with the world. It was nice to be outside, back at the restaurant that started the tradition, and to eat whatever the hell I wanted.

I came home and Emily and another Kristi were outside playing a yard game of some sort. I joined them for a few beers and a few rounds of Washers, then left pretty much when Alan got home. I needed my sleep for the big Saturday I had planned.

And man, was it a big Saturday. It started off down at the river with Angie where we ran a few miles. Then I put the top down and took the doors off my Jeep and went out to my parents house for about 4 hours of yard work, where I managed to tear my legs up pretty good on some sticker bushes in their woods. It was a lot of hauling and carrying trees stumps and whatnot. Fun stuff.

I get home and Alan is ripping out his front bushes, so I helped with that. I was exhausted by the end of it, since I'd been moving non-stop since I woke up at about 7:15. But I was a trooper and stuck it out while everyone played Snake Golf and drank beer and ate Papa Johns pizza. And somehow, I managed to stick to my Propel and my Lean Cuisine pizza. I'll tell ya, sometimes I'm a pillar of self control. And sometimes, I'm definitely not.

And if that wasn't already enough of a fun and productive day, I managed to get comments working on my moblog over at tim.cx. It still needs some tweaking and rearranging, but the functionality is there. Well, except the time-stamping. I'm having issues with that.

Oh, and I got a sun burn. Which is always fun.

So on my

2005-04-17T17:00:00-07:00

So on my jog yesterday, I was jogging down the alley towards the park when I spotted the sweetest piece of garbage that someone was just tossing away! I couldn't believe it. So I finished my run and picked it up on the way and took it home. And its friggin' sweet.

It's one of those old free-standing radios with a turntable built in. It doesn't work, but its still awesome. I spent a few hours sanding it and painting it. Its now just a hollow shell of a unit, and my plan is to turn it into a stereo cabinet with one of my many junk computers in it to play MP3s. It should be a quick and fun project.

Anyway, the rest of my Sunday was spent tweaking the moblog (which is nearly done, finally), jogging, walking, and not eating a whole lot.

In other news, because of my difficulties in getting to sleep last night, I've decided to extend my bed time and see what kind of horrible effects it has on me, my diet, and my exercise regamine. Hopefully they'll all be positive. Starting tonight, my bedtime is 11:30 instead of 10:30. Wish me luck.

Alright here's a

2005-04-19T17:00:00-07:00

Alright, here's a completely geektastic post. I hope you all enjoy it.

Attention Verizon Wireless subscribers: The big V, otherwise known as the greatest cell phone provider on planet earth, is now offering unlimited pic/text messaging for a measely $5/month! Well, only to other Verizon customers, but it's still a great deal. Especially when you consider that $5 also includes 50 pic/text messages to email addresses or other carriers. Call up and switch or add it... it's a bargain. Plus this promo doesn't expire (meaning once its on your account, it stays there. But soon you won't be able to sign up for it.)

In other geek news, I'm now completely done with the basic functionality stuff on my moblog. I've added the fancy login script and all sorts of commenting madness. Now all I need is people to use it. If you don't mind, could you head over to my moblog and try commenting and see if you can break the script somehow? Everyone reading this has the awesome opportunity to be my beta tester. How fun for you all! Anyway, I would appreciate it.

If I got

2005-04-20T17:00:00-07:00

If I got in a fight with PHP I would kick its ass. In a matter of a mere hour or 2, I managed to get the comment script/database I wrote for my moblog working on my photo gallery on tim.cx. Hold your praise... I realize I'm a genius and all, but there's still a lot of work to do to make myself the world's greatest personal site.

So, my Building Steam class was yesterday, and I rocked at that too. My Biggest Loser weigh in was today, and I rocked at that, too. I'll tell you what... when it comes to me, I totally rule at life.

The one dark spot in my life is how much dieting sucks. I know how awful it is to talk to someone who is losing weight, and all they can talk about is losing weight. It's annoying. So this will be my only post dedicated to it, I promise. This post is dedicated to my weight as of this morning: 199. That's right, I'm down 30 pounds and back into the 100's, although just barely. I'm just 15 pounds away from where I want to be. 3 weeks left in this contest, and I'm pretty positive I won't lose all 15 by the end. But I'll be close.

But dieting this hardcore for the chance to win some money is friggin' killing me. I lost a ton of weight before and although it took longer, I felt a lot less deprived. I'm constantly turning down invitations for dinner and drinks and everything else, knowing my team depends on my loss every week. People have stopped even inviting me anymore, which I actually prefer until I realize that I'm not being invited places anymore. Being lighter is good and all, but I feel like being in a caloric deficit for days and weeks in a row isn't how the human body is supposed to function.

Still, the shrinking process is a friggin' blast. I love feeling my pants get loser and moving a notch in my belt. When I was at my thinnest a couple years back, I bought a few pairs of boxers that I slowly grew out of, only wearing when I was out of everything else. These boxers felt like tighty-whities. Well, 30 pounds later, they feel like boxers again.

I'm not entirely sure why I gained back 45 pounds of what I had lost. I noticed it was happening I guess, but I just like beer, barbeques, and hot wings too much or something. I'm going to try harder at maintaining this time, and for this I need the help of everyone reading this who I know in real life.

Everyone reading this should know how thick my skin is. Its hard to insult me. So if you see me and I look like I've put on a few pounds, be completely relentless and cruel and poke me in my belly until I lose it. I know that may sound like a joke, but its not. Make fun, grab my love handles, and shake my fat until I look ashamed and disappointed in myself. I can lose 5 and 10 pounds again, but I never ever ever want to put myself in a position where I need to lose 40 or 50 again. It's too hard. It's too much. I'm just not sure if I have the discipline to stay skinny without some negative reinforcement.

Its not fair that some people are naturally so skinny and some people, like me, have to watch what they eat every day and exercise constantly just to stay not-fat. But, I also realize I can fight it and maintain a healthier lifestyle... it'll just be harder for me than some people. Still, its worth it. Life is better 30 pounds lighter, and hopefully it will be even better in another 15.

Because I rule so much...

2005-04-23T17:00:00-07:00

Start with this here post you're reading right now, I'm no longer posting exclusively to LiveJournal. That's right, I'm making the jump into full-geekdom with my own "written from scratch" blog hosted on my own servers. I yanked a PHP script to synch LJ and have modified it slightly to work on my blog, allowing me to post to both at once. Starting sometime at a later date, I'm going to work on a script to import all my old LJ posts into this new format, too.

So, why am I doing this? Well, obviously I'm still posting to/reading LJ because of all my friend who use the service. I'm not going to ask everyone to go to my site when they're already going to LJ, right? Right.

But I also sometimes have the urge to post about shit that no one on my friends list would care about, like graphic/web design related nonsense and the occassional technology/geek/computer related rant, and even weight loss/fitness/dieting stuff. So that stuff won't be cross posted, but instead given a category on my new blog just like how all the "real" geeks out there have.

Anyway, so that's that. I'm still working the bugs out of the blog script and still need to add commenting ability and categories, and somehow figure out how to sort the entries by date in an archive type scenario. Out of all this PHP stuff I've been learning, the hardest damn part is the date functions.

Because I rule so much...

2005-04-23T17:00:00-07:00

This is a test of my second category

2005-04-23T17:00:00-07:00

This is an entry into a second category.

Hot Wings and Robots

2005-04-24T17:00:00-07:00

All day on Friday I had looked forward to dinner with the boyz. My only cheating meal of the week... my only guilt-free escape from my horrible diet. Alas, this week it was not meant to be, as Polk got some unidentifyable illness.

Still, it was a good weekend. After work on Friday I headed out to pick up my nephew, then out to see Robots with him, Angie, and Angie's little cousin. It was a very decent flick that everyone seemed to enjoy. As we returned the children to their rightful owners, I got the bad news that dinner was canceled. Angie and I decided to get some pizza and wings, as to not lose the 1 guilt-free awesome meal I get every week. We headed to Gorman's.

Alan met us there and I stuffed myself silly with high calorie and low vitamin food, and it was delicious.

Afterwords, Alan was having a poker nightish type thing at his house. I performed embarassingly bad in the first round, but got better as everyone else got drunker. Around 11, I drove everyone downtown and drove myself home and went to bed.

Saturday I jogged an extra long time, then spent the rest of the day tinkering with various projects and playing with my dog. Sunday was more of the same.

Project TIM version .1

2005-04-24T17:00:00-07:00

I'm currently working on my first-ever PHP script that will be distributed freely over the interweb. It's also worth noting that it's my first ever PHP script written from (almost) scratch. Below is a partial list of features to be included in version .1, release date unknown.

fully operational moblog courtest of mafia, featuring comments.
photo gallery courtest of LGR Photo gallery, featuring comments.
blog with categories, comments, and LJ syndication out of the box.
user registration for easier commenting.
"add a page" feature, to add static pages that are easily updated via an easy web-interface.
Version .1 isn't too far from release. I still need to beef up security to the admin sections, as well as add commenting/editing ability to the blog entries. PHP and mySQL will be required to make this work on your own servers.

Well where the

2005-04-26T17:00:00-07:00

Well, where the hell have I been the last few days? I apologize for the lack of fascinating posts, but this week I spent very little time at work, where this silly blog is usually updated. All day on Wednesday and Thursday, I was in a seminar learning some of the newer features of Photoshop. The seminar was absolutely fascinating, and if you read that like I'm being sarcastic than you're reading it incorrectly. I learned a lot and it'll make a huge difference in my work flow.

Anyway, so Sunday I ran the 4 miles that the Steamboat Days race will take me on, and talked to a very nice lady named Kathy, or perhaps Cathy, for the whole 37 minutes it took to run the course. I was a bit surprised I ran it so quickly, but happy that my goal of 35 minutes should be pretty attainable. Monday was work followed by sitting around waiting for the Real World Road Rules Challenge to come on. It's a fascinating life I lead, I tell ya what.

Today I ate a fantastic lunch with Wolfie and Jill. Fantastic not only because of the company I kept, but also because I ate real, actual food instead of a salad or Lean Cuisine or bowl of soup.

So I got home, changed, and went to my Building Steam class, which is my new favorite activity every week, with the exception of course of Friday nights with my boyz. After the class I saw Sahara with Angie and Mullens, which was a silly little action flick but good in its own right. Very watchable, but I probably won't be buying it on DVD or anything.

Project TIM rolls on

2005-04-27T17:00:00-07:00

The Input Machineprogress rolls on. I've now added commenting ability to the blog, as well as a mostly-site wide template. The problem is drawing the line of where to stop before Project TIM makes its debut. There's so many ideas I keep having, but I think my focus at the moment needs to be tightening up security and making this script easy to install and use before adding new and fascinating features. But adding new features is way more fun than tweaking code.

Well where the

2005-04-28T17:00:00-07:00

Today I ate a fantastic lunch with Wolfie and Jill. Fantastic not only because of the company I kept, but also because I ate real, actual food instead of a salad or Lean Cuisine or bowl of soup.

I kicked off

2005-05-01T17:00:00-07:00

I kicked off the weekend by jogging 4 miles or so, followed by a healthy dose of weight lifting. Just as I finished up, Mullens called with a brilliant idea to get hot wings. Being my night off my diet and all, I couldn't refuse.

We went to Gorman's and grabbed some wings, then to Jimmy's for a couple of beers. I drank more than I probably should have and by the time I met Polk, The Brandon, Kristi, Jess, and Atomic at Katie McButts, I was already pretty ready to go. If you know what I mean.

So at dinner I was silly drunk around a bunch of sober people, and I'm sure I annoyed and disturbed some of them. Hopefully I made the others laugh a bit though, since I was having a grand 'ole time. Anyway, after that I went to Alan's house and had a few big glasses of water to hopefully undo some of the damage I had done earlier in the day. Just as the water started to sober me up, Brian Kelly dropped by Alan's house and we went out for a few more beers.

So in the end, I stayed up longer than I wanted to, drank more than I should have, and did some reversable, but annoying, damage to my diet, but I had a fantastic night.

Saturday I woke up asscrack early since my parents were coming to help me do some yard work. That's exactly the type of morning I like to have after a night of boozin' and stayin' up late. A few hours with a chainsaw and rake, and my yard looks a lot better. That afternoon, Polk came and picked me up and we made the trek to Pekin for some Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy goodness, which was a fun little quirky movie. Very enjoyable.

That day was also my mom's birthday, so I had to go out and buy her a present, then head out to their house for a dinner and such. I went home early and fell asleep on my couch somewhere around 8:30.

Sunday I woke up bright and early again to run 4 miles with a bunch of people who intend on running the Steamboat Days race. I finished at around 37 minutes again. Not too shabby.

I had a bit more yard work, which was as miserable as it was the day before on account of the weather being ridiculously cold and windy. I didn't do anything of any consequence for the rest of the day, but I did hang out with Alan and bit when we both got bored. And that was my weekend.

I kicked off

2005-05-01T17:00:00-07:00

So in the end, I stayed up longer than I wanted to, drank more than I should have, and did some reversable, but annoying, damage to my diet, but I had a fantastic night.

That day was also my mom's birthday, so I had to go out and buy her a present, then head out to their house for a dinner and such. I went home early and fell asleep on my couch somewhere around 8:30.

Sunday I woke up bright and early again to run 4 miles with a bunch of people who intend on running the Steamboat Days race. I finished at around 37 minutes again. Not too shabby.

Perfect and frustrating contentment

2005-05-01T17:00:00-07:00

I was talking to Mullens about this the other day, and I thought the conversation warranted its own post.

He was giving me hell about not having a girlfriend and not going out of my way to sleep with, hit on, or flirt with girls. I reminded him that I was still recently single, and he reminded me that its not so recent after all. I hadn't ever bothered counting the months or days of singlehood, but I'll be damned if it hasn't been close to a year. It flew by.

Anyway, so I told him that I've never been happier or more satisfied with my life ever, in the history of the world, except maybe when I was a kid and didn't know how horrible the world can be sometimes. Still, things are going my way and I don't have much to complain about, nor do I have any motivating, driving force to change my life for the better. I have a good job, awesome friends, the world's greatest dog. There's not a lot I would change in my life. It's a good feeling to be so content and happy, except under those circumstances that it's not good.

See, not a lot of positive change happens from being content. If I wasn't happy with my job, I'd quit and look somewhere else for one. And I might find a better one or a worse one, but the point would be that I changed. If I wasn't content being single, I would look for a girlfriend. I may end up with a good one or a bad one, but the point is that I'd be trying.

And I'm not trying.

But that's not a bad thing, necessarily. It's more good than bad, probably. I just wish there was something in my life that I wasn't satisfied with, but the only things that exist in my life that suck, I know will change on their own eventually. I do wish I had a desire to get a girlfriend. I want to stay single for a while, since being single is fantastic and wonderful, but at this stage in my life I can't imagine even WANTING a girl to share my awesomeness with. I'll share it with my friends and people I know will appreciate it. At this pace, I'm not going to reach my goal of having a kid by 30, which, if this year is indicative of how fast the years will fly by from now on, is just around the corner.

Anyway, I always saw myself as a guy that got recognition and maybe a little income from the stuff he did. A guy that was able to turn his hobbies into his income. A guy who would be regarded as one of the most talented in his field, whatever his field happened to be. The good part is that I've discovered I can be happy without ever getting that fame and fortune. The bad part is not striving for it because I'm "happy enough".

Perfect and frustrating contentment

2005-05-01T17:00:00-07:00

I was talking to Mullens about this the other day, and I thought the conversation warranted its own post.

And I'm not trying.

Nipple Agony

2005-05-03T17:00:00-07:00

So, I decided that my 4 mile runs every night were getting boring, and I needed to take along my iPod to make the jog seem shorter. I threw the iPod into the breast pocket of my sweatshirt and started on my jog, confident that the iPod and its miniature hard drive would withstand the constant up-down motion of the run. And I was right. The problem is that my nipple absorbed most of the damage and is now red and raw and stings in showers. I've learned my lesson and will invest in one of those arm-band things.

Also, here's what happens when I jog. The first mile is ridiculously difficult and I feel like I want to stop. Then I push through it and my second mile, I feel like I can go forever. By the third mile, I'm worn out and want to stop more than I wanted to out of the gate. Once I push through that, I feel like I can run forever and ever, amen. I tested that theory last night, and added about another mile or so to my routine. I felt great about it as I rounded the corner back into my driveway, but realized I maybe pushed it a little too far when I tried to climb the steps into my house and had to lift my legs with my arms to make them go up.

So I took some time out and laid on my couch watching the Real World Road Rules Challenge I had DVRed from the night before. Finally my stench overwhelmed me and I decided to take a shower. About 10 seconds into my shower, I realized that my nipple was killing me and my legs felt like they'd collapse at any given second. I decided a bath may be a better option.

Anyway, so that was my night. Monday night I missed my Challenge on account of dress-up night with Polk, Brandon, Kristi, and Jess. My $500 suit I've worn 4 times now is too big and will need to be refitted, which is an unfortunate side effect of my running of long distances. Still, the night was fun and I enjoyed winning at pool once and getting 2nd place twice, all while playing the absolute worst of anyone else competing. My martinis were excellent and cheap, and the bartender was pretty much the awesomest bartender ever.

Tonight is my running class. I can't wait.

Nipple Agony

2005-05-03T17:00:00-07:00

Also, here's what happens when I jog. The first mile is ridiculously difficult and I feel like I want to stop. Then I push through it and my secondmile, I feel like I can go forever. By the third mile, I'm worn out and want to stop more than I wanted to out of the gate. Once I push through that, I feel like I can run forever and ever, amen. I tested that theory last night, and added about another mile or so to my routine. I felt great about it as I rounded the corner back into my driveway, but realized I maybe pushed it a little too far when I tried to climb the steps into my house and had to lift my legs with my arms to make them go up.

Tonight is my running class. I can't wait.

So close, yet... well, not so close.

2005-05-05T17:00:00-07:00

My goal was to lose 30 pounds during this 3 month competition at work (and my other goal was to not talk about weight loss stuff very often. Mission failed), and I'm sitting at 27 pounds down (although 33 pounds down if you count from the offical start of the diet), with 6 days left to the end. 3 pounds. 6 days. Very little food. Very much exercise. I'll probably do it, but it'll be a miserable 6 days.

I still haven't posted the pictures from dress up night because I'm lazy and have been dealing with other web page issues at the moment. I'll probably do it tonight on account of my diet preventing me from doing anything fun.

So close, yet... well, not so close.

2005-05-05T17:00:00-07:00

Better later than never

2005-05-06T17:00:00-07:00

I procrastinated and let the laziness overcome me, but I got around to posting those Martini pictures. Enjoy.

Better later than never

2005-05-06T17:00:00-07:00

I procrastinated and let the laziness overcome me, but I got around to posting those Martini pictures. Enjoy.

exhausted

2005-05-07T17:00:00-07:00

Well, since Wednesday I've been keeping myself on a really strict diet of Lean Cuisines and well... nothing else. If my math is correct, I was consuming in the vicinity of 800-1000 calories per day, balanced out with running 4 miles and walking 3 or so. By yesterday, I was feeling exhausted and, I'll admit, a tad sickly. I decided maybe losing those 3 pounds isn't worth messing up my body and metabolism. So I went to Taco Bell.

Man, oh man, Taco Bell is my hero and savior. As that last bite of quesadilla made it down my throat, I realized I'd made a wise decision. Energy was restored to my whole body and I felt like I could take on the world. Instead, I just went running 4 miles as the Taco Bell worked itself out of my system. If you know what I mean. Yes, I had to run about a mile and a half with my sphincter clenched shut as I tried not to bend my legs at the knees. Angie was there to witness the event, and didn't complain a whole lot when I made her stop at The Gateway Building as I relieved the pressure. I felt a whole lot better after that.

Anyway, so now I think my body is all freaking out and purging itself or something, since I've lost more weight this weekend than should be considered healthy. Still, I'm feeling good and, because of the Taco Bell I'm sure, have no trouble finishing my 4 miles, then following that up with some weight lifting. I just need to avoid cheddar wursts (now called Better Cheddars for those interested) and beer. In this kind of weather, that temptation is hard to resist.

exhausted

2005-05-07T17:00:00-07:00

1. Jack Johnson's

2005-05-08T17:00:00-07:00

Jack Johnson's new album really makes me wish I could make music.
I need to spend less time with PHP and more time with a paintbrush. But I also need to finish more projects I start. This is my dilemma.
Winnie is one of the reasons why my life is so utterly and disgustingly perfect. Here's a video of her sitting on the floor of my doorless Jeep with her silly head hanging out of the side.
Mother's Day was good. It was spent at my sister's house, with me being amazed at how smart kids are when they're so young. Jack went on and on about a dream he had about kangaroos and Peter is up to around a dozen words. It's amazing the complicated sentences and directions a 3 year old can understand.
Work is crazy busy with the new website and the presentations and the random graphic design job thrown into the mix. But its all fun stuff and I'm really enjoying it. Plus being crazy busy makes the day go fast.
I keep seeing Wolfie and Jill when I'm walking to lunch. I wish I had an hour break so I could eat with someone. Eating by yourself is fine and all, but it gets boring.
The carts are back, but not yet in full force. I love eating outside with the kids singing or playing in their bands, with their artwork hanging up all around the courtyard. It just makes it really difficult to go back to work.

a few random things.

2005-05-08T17:00:00-07:00

Jack Johnson's new album really makes me wish I could make music.
I need to spend less time with PHP and more time with a paintbrush. But I also need to finish more projects I start. This is my dilemma.
Winnie is one of the reasons why my life is so utterly and disgustingly perfect. Here's a video of her sitting on the floor of my doorless Jeep with her silly head hanging out of the side.
Mother's Day was good. It was spent at my sister's house, with me being amazed at how smart kids are when they're so young. Jack went on and on about a dream he had about kangaroos and Peter is up to around a dozen words. It's amazing the complicated sentences and directions a 3 year old can understand.
Work is crazy busy with the new website and the presentations and the random graphic design job thrown into the mix. But its all fun stuff and I'm really enjoying it. Plus being crazy busy makes the day go fast.
I keep seeing Wolfie and Jill when I'm walking to lunch. I wish I had an hour break so I could eat with someone. Eating by yourself is fine and all, but it gets boring.
The carts are back, but not yet in full force. I love eating outside with the kids singing or playing in their bands, with their artwork hanging up all around the courtyard. It just makes it really difficult to go back to work.

happy anniversary to me

2005-05-09T17:00:00-07:00

Well, tomorrow is my anniversary luncheon at work. It seems so odd that I've been there an entire year. I still can't completely wrap my head around it.

My new goal is only an hour of TV per night. That will give me more time to exercise and work on projects. Oh, and update my silly blog.

Well I broke

2005-05-11T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I broke something on my site, which means I can't update my site and LJ at the same time until I have time to fix it.

So, for the past few days I've been crazy busy at work, and I follow up my work days with a bunch of running and lifting weights, all to lose that pesky 3 pounds to hit my goal for the contest. Speaking of the contest, the last weigh-in was today. I was more worried and stressed about it than I probably should have been. I walked up towards the scale as my team mates stood behind me yelling at me to take off my shoes and belt and wallet and glasses and everything else that could weigh anything. I didn't want to, since that isn't a real loss. It's cheating. But I caved to the peer pressure and removed my shoes. With the help of being shoeless, I was down 6.5 pounds. I figure that was a loss of about 3 REAL pounds so in my head I hit my goal and am content with that. Now I need to lose 10 more by my big race, which is almost exactly a month away.

After running in my Building Steam class last night, a chunk of our group went out to Old Chicago. Somehow I managed to not eat food, although I did have a couple of beers. Other than that, I haven't been very social.

Update: I just ran into the president of the company in the hall. We had a short talk about the last weigh in today, and I mentioned how I was 32.5 pounds down for the contest. He replied "Yeah, but I heard you took your shoes off." That's hilarious.

I hate PHP

2005-05-12T17:00:00-07:00

Fixing the 'ole PHP/LJ stuff on the sure was a bigger pain than I expected.

Last night was a celebration of May birthdays at the office, so I went to Blarney Castle for some wings and pizza. Later I met Angie and Mullens for a drink or 3. Tonight is supposed to be dinner with my boyz, but where is Polk? Polk? Hello? Where are you?

I hate PHP

2005-05-12T17:00:00-07:00

Fixing the 'ole PHP/LJ stuff on the sure was a bigger pain than I expected.

It was an

2005-05-14T17:00:00-07:00

It was an extremely exciting night last night, I tell you what. But I'll start my weekend recap with Friday. I did nothing all night long. I was kind of geared up to go out on the town later in the night, but around 9 got insanely tired. I figured I'd take a short nap on my couch so I could last through the night. I woke up about 6 hours later. I watched a little TV, then went to bed for real. Good times.

Last night was a wedding I had to go to with Angie. I wasn't especially looking forward to it, playing fake-date and having to make conversation with people I barely know. But it turned out to be a whole lot of fun. Angie's friends pretty much rule out loud, and I was looking hot with my new 34" pants, and all was right with the world. After the wedding, Angie and I headed to Kelleher's and met Fabish for a couple of beers. Then we were going to go to Jimmy's to meet some more of Angie's friends. I was driving her car from Kelleher's to Jimmy's when I noticed the gas gauge was very, very, very buried deep within the "E" range. Angie flipped through the options on her fancy computer thing and it showed 0 miles left before we ran out of gas. Still, we didn't have far to go and I wasn't too worried about it, but the car died a few seconds later. I hopped out and started pushing. Luckily we were just a few dozen feet from a gas station, and luckily again the attendant on duty came out and helped me push it up the slight incline that led to the pump.

So after that little adventure, we got to Jimmy's and had a few more beers with Fabish and Julie before calling it a night.

Right now I'm gearing up to head out to Angie's parent's house for her brother's graduation party. And tomorrow I restart my diet. I've been avoiding the scale since I don't want to see how much damage I've done in the past few days, but I'm sure its significant.

It was an

2005-05-14T17:00:00-07:00

So after that little adventure, we got to Jimmy's and had a few more beers with Fabish and Julie before calling it a night.

Welcome to "I

2005-05-15T17:00:00-07:00

Welcome to "I totally made out with Angie" part 2.

That's right, it was round 2 of hardcore making out just a few months after the first round. This time, neither of us was crazy drunk and not knowing what we were doing, but it was also me that made it happen instead of just waiting for Angie to do it. The "wait it out" technique hasn't been working very well for me.

Anyway, it was after our whole wedding/going out/running out of gas night, and she drove me back to my place to drop me off. I made some comment about being a fake date, and she said something about it being a real date. I replied that it ain't a real date without a kiss at the end. That spawned the genius idea I had to not get out of the car until I got my good bye kiss. It didn't take a whole lot of poking and prodding (and the poking and prodding wasn't the physical kind [for the most part]), and we were making out a few seconds later. It was way better than the first time, mostly because it didn't catch me completely off-guard and partly because there wasn't anyone around watching and cheering to make it awkward.

And now we're back to pretending like it never happened. Granted, we haven't had much "alone" time since, and I definitely plan on bringing it up multiple times in the very near future, since I think it's totally awesome that we made out. But it's still just a bit odd that it's just like it never happened. Odd in a mostly good way, I guess. But the lines of "are we dating" are getting pretty blurry, especially if we make a habit of making out every time we go out together.

I go through stages of not wanting to date anyone, including Angie. Then I go through a stage of not particularly wanting to date anyone, but I would date Angie if the opportunity presented itself. Then I go through a stage of realizing Angie is a good catch and I'd be stupid to not try something if she has even the slightest bit of interest in me. Then I go back to the first stage. The whole cycle takes a few days from start to finish.

Anyway, I just thought that was a fun little story that I should report. I hope everyone enjoyed it.

Before and After

2005-05-16T17:00:00-07:00

For those interested (and I count 0 of you), this is the difference 30 pounds makes on my 6'2" frame. These are the offical before and after shots from the biggest loser competition at work, where my team placed 2nd and I won a cup for my troubles. Not quite as good as the $150 grand prize, but I'll take it.

Before and After

2005-05-16T17:00:00-07:00

I haven't deserted the project yet...

2005-05-16T17:00:00-07:00

For those on the edge of your seats with anticipation (okay, that describes no one reading this), I haven't given up on Project TIM. Just got a bit bored, as tends to happen with me and my new hobbies.

Still, a lot is going on behind the scenes. Security around the site has been beefed up a bit, every section of the site now reads from 1 standard config file, and it should be pretty darn easy to install on your own servers. In addition, I've added editing and deleting ability to the blog which, I know, should have been standard from the get-go.

ETA: I can't even begin to guess, although it shouldn't be much longer. All basic functionality I wanted is now present, and the script is a very good "starting point" for people who want to make their own modifications to it. I'll probably only have 1 main release, then list a bunch of code for modifications. I can't imagine the work it would take for me to release different versions of this thing. More work than I care to put into it, for sure.

Biggest Loser part 2

2005-05-17T17:00:00-07:00

If the past few days have taught me anything, they've taught me that I have very little self control when it comes to not eating a bunch of crap. I love to eat.

Because of this, I've decided to go against my better judgment and participate in round 2 of the Biggest Loser competition at work. This time, my goal is 15 pounds in 3 months as opposed to the goal of 30 I had before. With a bit of luck, I can get those 15 pounds knocked out pretty quickly, then spend some time maintaining and getting used to being a lesser weight.

I plan to do this by keeping up with my diet/exercise regimine that treated me so well before, although I'll probably spend more time exercising and balance that out with barbeques and Better Cheddars. Next week I'm upping my running to 5 miles at a time, and lifting 4 days a week instead of 3. That should get me back on track.

I got to eat dinner with my boyfriend Polk last night for the first time in a long time, and I ate 2 dinners. Then I went home, played Washers next door, and drank some beers. Good times.

Biggest Loser part 2

2005-05-17T17:00:00-07:00

If the past few days have taught me anything, they've taught me that I have very little self control when it comes to not eating a bunch of crap. I love to eat.

I got to eat dinner with my boyfriend Polk last night for the first time in a long time, and I ate 2 dinners. Then I went home, played Washers next door, and drank some beers. Good times.

So the Jeepy

2005-05-18T17:00:00-07:00

So, the Jeepy Jeep is in the shoppy shop, which means I get to pimp around in my brother-in-law's '83 Ford Ranger rust bucket while my car gets a new clutch installed. It's pretty sweet ride.

Anyway, yeah, my clutch is going on my Jeep, which is exactly the kind of expense I need now, a few weeks before my massive credit card debt gets paid off. Oh well... it's just postponing being debt-free I guess, but its a little frustrating.

The good news is that in my Building Steam class last night, I did 4.1 miles in 38 minutes. I still finished 2nd place in my group, but whatever... that's a pretty decentish time. 35 minutes shouldn't be too big an issue.

So the Jeepy

2005-05-18T17:00:00-07:00

So, the Jeepy Jeep is in the shoppy shop, which means I get to pimp around in my brother-in-law's '83 Ford Ranger rust bucket while my car gets a new clutch installed. It's pretty sweet ride.

Summer lovin'

2005-05-22T17:00:00-07:00

Man, what a fantastical weekend. I kicked it off on Friday with my usual dinner with the boys and Kristi and Jess at Donnelly's. Alan had gotten some bad news that day, so the plan was for me to go home after dinner and take a short nap, then go out on the town to cheer him up a bit. My short nap went long, and I didn't wake up from it until Alan called at around 11, scrapping plans to go out and opting to stay in, play some cards, and crack some jokes. So that's what we did.

Saturday I woke up bright and early to take the Jeep back to the shop since it still isn't running right. Then I went to my parents' house and grabbed some breakfast before heading back into town in my dad's truck so I could pick up my new bathroom sink and counter top. I installed my new counter top and spent the rest of the day trying to be at least semi-productive.

That night was another wedding with Angie. It turned out to be a whole lot of fun, mostly because I actually knew people at this one. I was hit on by a drunk girl, which is always fun.

Sunday I woke up bright and early again with the intention to make it to the 4 mile practice run at 8:00. The alarm woke me up at 7:40 and I decided I was too tired to bother. I slept another half hour or so, then went running extra long to punish myself for skipping the practice. I figure I ran close to 6 miles, and man am I feeling the pain of that today. Anyhoo. I spent the day cleaning and working on websites and stretching my poor leg whenever I got the chance. That night, I went to Hooters with Mullens, Alan, and Anna, and later Dave stopped by. We went back to Alan's house and had a little fire and listened to some Mitch Hedberg. Overall, I'd say it was the greatest weekend ever.

Summer lovin'

2005-05-22T17:00:00-07:00

That night was another wedding with Angie. It turned out to be a whole lot of fun, mostly because I actually knew people at this one. I was hit on by a drunk girl, which is always fun.

I'm going to complain constantly.

2005-05-23T17:00:00-07:00

So, I had absolutely the most frustrating day ever yesterday. I got off work and had a list of about 10 things I wanted to get accomplished that night, but on my way home I got a call from my dad who wanted to help me change my spark plugs and distributor cap and rotor, in the hopes that would solve the mystery of why my Jeep is running like crap lately. The process would take about an hour, so I figured I could squeeze it into my schedule. I skipped my jog and headed out to my parents' house.

The process is fairly straight forward, but we ran into problems when we broke a spark plug wire while taking the old wires off the plug. I headed back into town to get new wires when I ran into a huge traffic jam on the interstate with a cop making all of us turn around and head back to where we came from, forcing me to take an alternate route into town. It made a 15 minute trip take 40 or so.

We finished up the changing process in pretty good time, and the Jeep roared to life but sounded even worse than it did before we started. Then came a long and frustrating trouble shooting episode while we tried to figure out how we botched a relatively simple job.

Anyway, it was getting close to 9, and I knew I had to stop by Circuit City to buy some stuff for work, so I took my not-running-exactly-right Jeep home. Turning out of my parents' drive way, my "Check Engine" light comes on. By now I'm so pissed off that I'm just going to ignore it, go home, and leave worrying about it until tomorrow. I get to Circuit City and as I'm digging my keys out of my pocket, I realize I still have my dad's keys to the truck he gave me to get new plug wires. I had to go all the way back out there to drop them off.

By now I'm frustrated, pissed off, tired, and I just want to ignore the other 10 things I had to do and get home and go to sleep. But I get back out to my parents' house, drop off the keys, and tell my dad about the "Check Engine" light. We spend a little while longer trouble shooting. Turns out that I was in a hurry to get all the plugs in and accidently mashed a few gaps closed, making them either not fire or misfire or something.

The "Check Engine" light is still on, which is easily ignorable but annoying because I'll have to take it to a service station to get it to go out, costing me another $65 in addition to the $800 or so I've spent on that blasted car in the last few weeks.

So I got home around 9:45, watched Real World/Road Rules challenge (which did kind of cheer me up), and tried to calm myself down. I don't know why I was so fed up with the universe yesterday, since I'm usually a "glass is half-full" kinda guy, but whatever. I'm in a much better mood today. Let's hope it continues.

I'm going to complain constantly.

2005-05-23T17:00:00-07:00

tim.cx facelift

2005-05-24T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I finally got the major sections of tim.cx skinned and looking pretty and working pretty well in FireFox and IE and Mac and PC, although there will still need to be some tweaking and some graphics thrown in in certain areas. Oh yeah, and more content. If its not too troubling, please leave some comments on pictures or blog entries and see if everything is working okay (For LJer's, the site is here).

tim.cx facelift

2005-05-24T17:00:00-07:00

Goal: Accomplished. Mostly.

2005-05-25T17:00:00-07:00

I'm happy to report that in my running class last night, we ran the 4 mile course that the race will take place on and I finished in 35 minutes and some change. It won't be hard to trim those last few seconds off before race day... I think just the adreneline and spectators will motivate me to go a bit faster on the day of the event. If I had known I'd reach my goal a few weeks before the race, I would have been a bit more ambitious about it all.

So after the race, I went to Old Chicago with my running mates and had a calzone. I headed out early to meet Polk for his big birthday bash at Richard's, then headed home and worked for a few hours on various projects until I almost passed out from exhaustion.

I'd like to end this post with a few thank-you's. Thanks to Winnie for keeping me company as I'm bored and frustrated and sometimes a little lonely at night, staying up late to finish various projects that keep me busy. Thanks to Angie for taking care of her and letting her run around while I was out of the house for too darn long last night. Thanks to the other groups I was running with last night who motivated me to run faster so I could pass them. Thanks to my dad for helping me finally get my Jeep running right again, so hopefully I won't have to do anymore work to it for a few more months or years.

Goal: Accomplished. Mostly.

2005-05-25T17:00:00-07:00

I kicked off

2005-05-30T17:00:00-07:00

I kicked off the weekend with a kick trip to Bloomington and a lunch at Fazoli's. I wasn't there long before heading back to Peoria, where I strapped on my running shoes and went around 6 miles. I met Brandon and Kristi a while later for dinner at Bennigan's. That night, I went over to Alan's house and played some cards until I went home around 11:30.

Saturday I didn't do a whole lot outside of the usual running and cleaning and various Saturday type stuff. That night was a hot date with Angie, so we went out to see The Longest Yard and get some pizza. Afterwards I went to Alan's again, but only stayed about 10 minutes. I had to wake up early on Sunday.

I started my Sunday by running the Steamboat Days course with Angie and a group of people warming up for the run. I passed everyone I wanted to pass except for a chubby short girl. That one kind of disappointed me. The rest of the day was spent preparing for Alan's (and mine, kinda) barbeque thingie, and finally, having a barbeque. It was good to see everyone in good spirits and having a good time, and it was good to see Amy looking very, very, very pregnant. I got an awesome picture of her and Fabish, but haven't posted it yet because I'm lame. I'll post it later today. Promise.

I kicked off

2005-05-30T17:00:00-07:00

All sorts of pictures

2005-05-31T17:00:00-07:00

As promised, here's the best picture possibly ever taken of Fabish and his very pregnant wife.

And while I'm posting pictures, I figured I'd post an album of what my crazily painted house and newly renovated bathroom look like. Those are right here.

All sorts of pictures

2005-05-31T17:00:00-07:00

As promised, here's the best picture possibly ever taken of Fabish and his very pregnant wife.

And while I'm posting pictures, I figured I'd post an album of what my crazily painted house and newly renovated bathroom look like. Those are right here.

Welcome to a long and disjointed post

2005-06-05T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, so, I've tried to do this post a few different ways and it never works right, so I've given up at even attempting to make it flow properly with some form of continuity. It will be long, entirely skippable, and kind of random. Just the way I like it.

So we'll start on Friday. Since Fridays (actually, pretty much the whole weekend) are my cheating days, I decided it would be a good idea to get Long John Silver's on my way home from work. I waited 15 or 20 minutes after eating it to take my jog, which wasn't nearly long enough to wait. About 2.5 miles in, I felt like the fish planks could make a violent exit one way or another if I kept up the run. I immediately stopped and walked home, sweaty, miserable, and defeated.

That night was Kouri's with my boys. It was an interesting night, and rather than avoid the issue that I was kind of an asshole, I'll just come right out and say it: I was kind of an asshole. I was kind of in a bad mood anyway, and feeling kind of creatively frustrated in my current job, and kind of starting to doubt that I'm in the right field for myself, and kind of starting that "frustrated with my career" type feelings I get every once in a while. Hearing that some people think my job is something "anyone can do" was... well... not a pleasant thing for me to hear. I kind of overreacted to it, I guess. But in my defense, I spent a ton of money and 2 miserable years in Chicago learning how to do my job better than most people could. I've got years of experience when it comes to web/multimedia design. And I'm one of those people who believe that web design takes some amount of natural skill and talent and a good eye in addition to just simple HTML coding. Having someone say anyone can do it with assisstance from a pirated copy of DreamWeaver isn't pleasant. I spent the rest of the weekend thinking about what was said, and have come to some conclusions.

Yes, DreamWeaver makes web design "easy". Or at least easier than it was when I was learning how to do it. However, I still don't believe anyone could do it, even with help from DreamWeaver. However, to be honest, this doesn't matter. When I tell people I'm a web designer, I never for a second thought that people would think to themselves that my job is something of an "unskilled" nature. This isn't an invitation for people to tell me otherwise... I know better. But the fact that someone could equate my job to stocking shelves at Blockbuster video (ya know, something anyone can do) is a bit insulting. And knowing that at least some of the population thinks that when they hear what I do to pay my bills and, ya know, survive kind of stings. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

So, my conclusion to it all... re-explore the possibilities of freelancing. Not freelance web design, but real, actual art. Of the hand-drawn variety. I realize this is less of a learned skill than web design, but it's unlikely that people would say its something "anyone can do". Or even think it, which is just as bad. And hopefully that will make me less creatively frustrated, put some extra money in my pocket, and be something interesting to talk about if people ask what I do, rather than me get defensive about my current position. And that's that.

Anyway, moving on... Saturday I woke up and tried to do my morning jog. I didn't even make it as far as I did on Friday, due to the nastily hot weather. I'm not a big sweater (as in, guy who sweats, not article of clothing), but my shirt was soaking wet by the end and I couldn't keep my glasses on my face, and my sweat was dripping into my eyes and blinding me. I gave up and walked home. I wasted the rest of the day cleaning, doing laundry, and other normal Saturday type things. That night me and Angie went to Avanti's and mini-golfing. Since I haven't been using my sweet moblog as often as I should, here's a video of Angie being a professional golfer, and one of me completely missing par. That quote at the end is "Well, I'm closer than I was." I went to bed early to rest up for the practice Steamboat Days race the next day.

So I start the race and I think I'm doing fairly well, pulling ahead of most of the crowd relative early on. As we pass the first mile mark, I ask the guy next to me how we're doing on time. "9:20", he replies. Doing some quick math in my head, I realize there's no way to hit 35 minutes doing over 9 minute miles. I kicked it up a notch, passing more people (my favorite activity) and finished it in... drumroll.... 34:48. Out of the 45ish people running that morning, I finished 6th. Not too shabby, but also not at all indicative of my placement on Saturday. I reckon on race day I'll finish in the bottom 25% somewhere, but as long as its under 35:00, I'll be satisfied with it. To anyone wanting to see me sweaty and nasty and running, you're more than invited to head down near the river early on Saturday morning. I hear there's a beer tent at the finish line if you need some extra encouragement.

So I got home and took Winnie for a long walk in the park. She seemed to enjoy it. I went out to lunch with Fabish and Amy, and out to dinner with Angie, Alan, and Brynn. It had been way too long since I saw Brynn, and we had a marvelous time at dinner.

That was my weekend. And this has been an extremely long and disjointed post.

Welcome to a long and disjointed post

2005-06-05T17:00:00-07:00

So we'll start on Friday. Since Fridays (actually, pretty much the wholeweekend) are my cheating days, I decided it would be a good idea to get Long John Silver's on my way home from work. I waited 15 or 20 minutes after eating it to take my jog, which wasn't nearly long enough to wait. About 2.5 miles in, I felt like the fish planks could make a violent exit one way or another if I kept up the run. I immediately stopped and walked home, sweaty, miserable, and defeated.

That was my weekend. And this has been an extremely long and disjointed post.

Last night marked

2005-06-08T17:00:00-07:00

Last night marked my last Building Steam class. It was a sad and happy event at the same time. I've really enjoyed the class and will definitely miss it. The good news is that there's talk of continuing the classes into the summer. And the other good news (if you can call it that) is that I think I've decided that I'm enjoying this running nonsense enough that I'm going to join the Illinois Valley Striders and participate in more races. And while I'm at it, I think I'm also going to join the River Plex and try more classes, like spinning or body pump or things like that. I'm really digging the classes and meeting new people and the whole competitive aspect of it. Plus my company gets a fat discount from River Plex, so that's a bonus.

Anyway, so after the class we went to Old Chicago to celebrate our little victories. The race is Saturday, and I'm a little too excited. I think it's unnatural how pumped I am about this silly race, but I'm really looking forward to it.

Not much else to report lately. Just doing a lot of sitting around when I'm not sleeping or doing laundry. Oh, and I'm trying not to sweat my ass off while just sitting in my house, but that's hard to do when I refuse to turn on my air conditioning and its 95 degrees in my house. Such is life.

Last night marked

2005-06-08T17:00:00-07:00

The big day

2005-06-11T17:00:00-07:00

Alright, so it's been a big weekend full of a lot of excitement and things to do. On Friday I got to leave work early to help set up for the company picnic. The picnic went well, but I spent the majority of my time taking pictures. I guess that's what I get for being on the committee and all. I left early so I could prepare for my big race the next day.

Believe it or not, I had trouble sleeping on Friday night. I was unbelievable excited and pumped about my first race ever taking place the next day. Once I finally got to sleep, I had weird dreams about it. I woke up for good at about 5:45, took a quick cold shower, ate a quick small breakfast, and headed down to the river. There was enough time for me to wander around and see all the sights before the race actually started. Eventually they started grouping us depending on how fast we ran, and we were all huddled together in a block, lined up from fastest to slowest. I purposely started with the slower crew because I love passing people, and I figured it would be more to my advantage to start slow and pass than start fast and be passed. As the race started, the block of people just started bobbing up and down. It was extremely difficult to get into a stride when I was afraid of knocking people down or step on the backs of their feet. The first half mile or so was a really frustrating and slow run. Eventually the crowd started to separate and I started passing people.

I didn't at all know what to expect during the run, but I certainly didn't expect a band to be playing at the 2 and 3 mile mark. I was told about the awesome little shower things the water company plugged into the fire hydrant. They definitely cooled me down, and I definitely needed it considering how insanely hot it was that morning.

Anyway, so I was making my way to big finish and hear my name being called. I look over and see my whole family there cheering me on. It felt good to have them there, and definitely helped in that last quarter mile or so when I was trying to pick up my pace and pass as many people as possible before finishing. It was a really fun experience, for sure. I'm going to try to enter more races, I think.

Here are the results. You can find me in place 805, which means I finished faster than more than half the runners, although my time was 36:04. That means I missed my goal of 35:00, but not by a whole lot. Considering the heat and the forced slow half mile, and the fact that I started way behind the "real" starters, I did pretty darn well. Next year I'll be under half an hour. Mark my words.

Anyway, so after the race I stood around talking to my family a bit, then met up with Alan and Brynn who watched the race, as well as Angie and Katie and Julie who ran the race.

So I got home and took a short nap to prepare for Mullens' bachelor party that night. I managed to sleep well for a few hours, which it turns out I desperately needed so I could party like a rock star that night. And party we did.

We all met at Mullens' house and played some poker, where Fabish and I beat everyone but called it quits because heads up poker with no money on the line is boring. After that, we hit Jimmy's of course, and Fantasyland to see Bridget the Midget, who apparently was replaced at the last second by Little Lacy. It was quite a show, I'll tell ya that much. Throughout the night, we went to Jimmy's twice, tthe Elbo Room, Sullys, Sullivans, and Big Al's. We finsihed the night at Steak 'N Shake, and I got home when the night was about to break into morning, and the birds were already chirping. It was close to 5:00. It's been a long, long, long time since I've done that. And now I'm taking a break and not doing anything of any importance today. I've had a big few days. I deserve it.

The big day

2005-06-11T17:00:00-07:00

Believe it or not, I had troublesleeping on Friday night. I was unbelievable excited and pumped about my first race ever taking place the next day. Once I finally got to sleep, I had weird dreams about it. I woke up for good at about 5:45, took a quick cold shower, ate a quick small breakfast, and headed down to the river. There was enough time for me to wander around and see all the sights before the race actually started. Eventually they started grouping us depending on how fast we ran, and we were all huddled together in a block, lined up from fastest to slowest. I purposely started with the slower crew because I love passing people, and I figured it would be more to my advantage to start slow and pass than start fast and be passed. As the race started, the block of people just started bobbing up and down. It was extremely difficult to get into a stride when I was afraid of knocking people down or step on the backs of their feet. The first half mile or so was a really frustrating and slow run. Eventually the crowd started to separate and I started passing people.

Anyway, so after the race I stood around talking to my family a bit, then met up with Alan and Brynn who watched the race, as well as Angie and Katie and Julie who ran the race.

Like Jon McClane

2005-06-14T17:00:00-07:00

I was out on my evening jog yesterday minding my own business. I figure I went about 6 miles... maybe a little more. I got home and made my way right to the bathroom for my 2 minute freezing cold shower I always take after sweating up a storm outside. I glanced into the mirror and nearly fainted at the site of a quarter of my face covered with blood that had dripped down my neck. Luckily I was wearing my red shirt that I carefully removed and washed my face. The culprit was a teeny tiny little skinned area where my glasses had rubbed my nose raw. It didn't hurt and once washed off, you couldn't even see anything except an area that was slightly redder than the surrounding area. I figure it bled a little and the sweat made it spread very quickly. And my bouncing glasses probably just made it worse. I laughed at the thought of me running down the street while cars passed thinking I had just gotten beat up or something. It still doesn't hurt, but I'm a little paranoid its going to rip open at work. That would be embarrassing.

Tonight is Hoops night. I love Hoops.

Like Jon McClane

2005-06-14T17:00:00-07:00

Tonight is Hoops night. I love Hoops.

Holy Excellent Pizza, Batman

2005-06-15T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, Hoops night last night, which ruled. Angie and I made a quick stop at Lowe's before meeting Anna and eating pizza. Me, being the gentleman I am, picked up the tab for the whole night. 6 slices of pizza and 3 beers: $7.60. Half off night is the best thing ever.

So afterwards I was trying to convince Angie to see Batman Begins, but she wasn't interested. Finally she (bat)caved and said if I could find a show starting before 8:30, she'd go. And the hunt was on. I started at the crappiest, but closest, theater to our houses, and lo and behold, an 8:15 showing. While parking the car, Wolfie runs up and humps my leg like a dog. I shooed him away and noticed a whole crew of people who didn't invite me to the movie. But in an amazing bit of bad luck for them and Angie, and in an amazing bit of good luck for myself, I wound up in the same theater, able to be loud and obnoxious and throw popcorn at them.

The movie was decent but on the long side, and seeing Christian Bale trying to pull off playing a college kid was a bit painful for me. Similarly, Katie Holmes as a 30 year old didn't quite register for me either. And I wish there was less "becoming Batman" and more "kicking ass as Batman" going on in the flick. I realize it was "Begins" and therefore had to explain the mythology and all, but the way it worked out it seemed like the "real" plotline of the movie was an afterthought and tacked on when they realized he didn't Batman out enough. Still, it was enjoyable.

Holy Excellent Pizza, Batman

2005-06-15T17:00:00-07:00

Polk ditched me

2005-06-19T17:00:00-07:00

Polk ditched me on Friday, opting to "work" instead of "drink". Instead I grabbed Kouri's with Zarr before meeting up with Brian and Kathleen. We caught up and had a good time down at Kelleher's before calling it a night. I stopped by Alan's house for a bit before turning in for the night.

Saturday I was up bright and early to go to breakfast with my parents for Father's Day. It was excellent. I spent some time ripping up the carpet in my spare bedroom and tossing it out the window, which was a lot of fun. That night I went to Alan's to cook some Cheddar Wursts. It turned into a bigger party than I expected, actually. I went home around 11. I woke up bright and early again on Sunday and sat around for a while before grabbing some Taco Bell. I took my regular jog. But the interesting stuff happened later.

I had Angie's dog at my house since she was working a long shift. I was upstairs scraping up bits of carpet padding in the spare bedroom when I heard my neighbor yelling at the dogs outside. I ran to the window and saw them digging at a hole. "Ah, crap", I thought, but I was glad it wasn't a huge deal or huge hole. I ran outside to yell at them, and my neighbor was already in my yard grabbing the dogs by the collar. "Weird," I thought, since normally a neighbor wouldn't go to lengths this far to punish a dog that wasn't theirs.

It turns out that the dogs had found a rabbit's nest with 7 or 8 little bunnies in it and were trying to play them them. They weren't doing a very good job. I shoved the dogs inside where they spent the rest of the day. I read up on the internet about baby rabbits and what to do in a situation like mine to make sure most survive, and the basic advice was to leave them alone. I did move the ones that had been thrown out of the nest back inside it. None of them looked TOO beat up, except for one. I hope they all turn out okay.

Oh yeah, and if I cared enough I'd put this back into chronological order, but I don't. Angie and I went to the Olde English Faire thing this weekend. And man, that was an event. I find it remarkable how... um... unusual those people are. But it was fun, and the home made ice cream was delicious.

Polk ditched me

2005-06-19T17:00:00-07:00

My Pet Bunnies

2005-06-20T17:00:00-07:00

Well, one of my bunnies kicked the bucket. I expected it, of course. Winnie had beat the poor guy up pretty bad. Anyway, I disposed of the dead bunny and took some photos of the living ones.

I'm trying my best to not take one inside and try to raise it as my own. They're so adorable. But I know they'll be happier and healthier outside.

I get to eat Hoops and see Polk tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited.

My Pet Bunnies

2005-06-20T17:00:00-07:00

Well, one of my bunnies kicked the bucket. I expected it, of course. Winnie had beat the poor guy up pretty bad. Anyway, I disposed of the dead bunny and took some photos of the living ones.

I'm trying my best to not take one inside and try to raise it as my own. They're so adorable. But I know they'll be happier and healthier outside.

I get to eat Hoops and see Polk tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited.

Bunnies, Hoops, and GPS

2005-06-22T17:00:00-07:00

My pet bunnies are growing at an astounding rate. They're starting to not freak out when I come to visit them, and their eyes are open and they seem very mobile. I'm worried about one of their legs though. It always looks a little crooked, and I'm worried my dog crippled a little bunny. If I see him hopping around in circles in my yard, I'm taking him in and raising it as my own.

I got to eat at Hoops with Polk and The Brandon last night. I ate half a pizza. It was delicious. I'd missed them dearly in the past few weeks that our Fridays didn't work out due to our busy schedules.

I also got a fancy GPS unit to help me on my runs. Its absolutely the awesomest little device you'll ever see. It COMMUNICATES WITH SATELLITES IN OUTER SPACE. Maybe I'm a huge nerd, but that fact that I'm wearing a largish watch that talks to 3 or more satellites located in outer space to track my position down to a few feet is amazing. The fact that it cost only $85 blows my mind. I can even set up a virtual running partner, whose pace I can set. When my running partner pulls ahead, my little watch will beep and show an animation of a little stick figure pulling ahead of my little stick figure, and it will tell me exactly how many feet of me my opponent is. It also tracks my time and distance and pace, and stores years worth of information on the little doohickey so I can review and see if I'm improving over a couple of months. For $85! Its my new favorite gadget. I was too full to actually run last night, so I just took a walk to Angie's, but left when I realized she was watching Miss Congeniality 2, but not before I set my little GPS opponent to walk slightly faster than I walked there. And I beat my little digital opponent by 140 feet during my walk home, because I rule that much.

This has been a boring post. I can't apologize enough.

Bunnies, Hoops, and GPS

2005-06-22T17:00:00-07:00

This has been a boring post. I can't apologize enough.

This weather ain't

2005-06-23T17:00:00-07:00

This weather ain't doin' good things for me, to tell ya the truth. Its making me so sleepy, and its stopping me from running my entire course because I stop out of complete exhaustion. But its helping me melt away those pounds, I guess. After spending part of last night sitting on my couch sweating profusely, I caved and turned on the AC. Its supposed to be near 100 this weekend, so its a good time to do it.

Anyway, yesterday was a busy night. Right after work I had to go pick up Angie from the oil changing shop place, then head out to my parents' house to take care of their cat. Then back into town for dinner before taking Angie to her softball game. I went home, played on my computer, and headed over to the game in time to see the last inning. Then we went out for ice cream. Then we stopped by the Fabishs' house so Angie could help them install a car seat.

We checked on my little pet bunnies before I took Angie back to her car. The weather isn't so great for them either, I don't think. They're not nearly as active as they were a few days ago. My poor little sweethearts.

So by this time it was about 9:30. It was dark and had cooled down to a chilly 88 degrees, so I decided to go on my run. Bad idea. I'm not sure if it was the weather or what I ate or just a bad coincidence, but... well, no need to go into details about why I only did 3.5 miles. I managed to kick my virtual training assisstant's ass though, which was a lot of fun.

So I get into my topless, doorless Jeep this morning to head to work and notice my stereo faceplate is gone. I'm no stranger to having my car stereo stolen... its happened to me about 4 times now, so I know that theives are usually smart enough to take more than just the faceplate. I was hoping it was my stupid neighbor friends playing a "really super funny joke", so maybe they just put the faceplate in my center compartment. Nope. No faceplate and also no CDs. Crap. My theory is still that my neighbor friends did it as a joke, but I'm not entirely sure. Ah well... its been a while since my last break in. I suppose I was due.

This weather ain't

2005-06-23T17:00:00-07:00

Anyway, yesterday was a busy night. Right after work I had to go pick up Angie from the oil changing shop place, then head out to my parents' house to take care of their cat. Then back into town for dinner before taking Angie to her softball game. I went home, played on my computer, and headedover to the game in time to see the last inning. Then we went out for ice cream. Then we stopped by the Fabishs' house so Angie could help them install a car seat.

Sunday was a sad day.

2005-06-26T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't really do a whole lot this weekend. I drank some beers at Alan's on Friday. I ran some errands with Angie on Saturday. I did some house work on Sunday.

Sunday was a sad day for me. I woke up bright and early and checked on my little bunnies, who have grown so big so quickly. A few hours later I let Winnie outside again and thought I'd go pet my little rabbits, but was shocked to see my nest was empty! My little sweethearts decided they didn't need their daddy anymore, I guess. I was happy for the little guys, but I didn't think this day would come so soon. I didn't have time to prepare for it. Later in the day, I saw one of them following mommy bunny around the yard. That made me feel better, but I still miss the little guys.

Oh, and I saw Land of the Dead with Mullens and Wolfie and... uh... other people whose names I can never remember. It was excellent. George Romero sure outdid himself. You could see the Hollywood side of the movie more than his others, but I was kind of expecting that. I highly recommend it.

Sunday was a sad day.

2005-06-26T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't really do a whole lot this weekend. I drank some beers at Alan's on Friday. I ran some errands with Angie on Saturday. I did some house work on Sunday.

Thank God for rain

2005-06-27T17:00:00-07:00

So I decided I dodged a pretty big bullet yesterday with the thunderstorm forecasts and my Jeep doors and top sitting at home in my garage with my Jeep at work. With rain in the forecast again, I stopped tempting fate and put my top back on this morning. And now its raining for the first time in a long time. My grass is thankful.

While I'm on Jeep related subjects, my stereo was most certainly stolen. Well, my faceplate was, along with some burned CDs and a handful of change I put in a little dish. The other 4 times my car has been broken into and stolen from, I got really pissed off and frustrated at the world. This time, my feelings are mostly pity. I mean, they took a faceplate without taking my stereo, which means their stupid and/or not ballsy enough to take the time out to actually remove the stereo. So they have a worthless faceplate and I have a stereo that doesn't work anymore. They also stole home-burned CDs, and the only one that bothers me that its gone is "15,000 Watts of Good Will" from Polk. The rest I can just re-burn. They also took less than a dollars worth of change. All things considered, I'd rather they just knocked on my door and asked for $5 to not take my stereo faceplate. I would have given it to them and they would have been $5 richer. No one is going to give them anything for a faceplate that isn't attached to a stereo. And I'm pretty sure burned CDs ain't goin' for much on the black market. Oh well. Last time the Jeep got broken into, they ripped my top which cost me (or actually, the insurance company) $1000 to replace to steal a $120 stereo and a handful of CDs. They left my $300 digital camera sitting in the front seat. Criminals ain't known for their IQ, I guess.

Starting tomorrow, I'm on vacation for nearly a week. It'll be spent redoing my bedroom and, depending on my progress there, my office. I'm quite looking forward to it.

Thank God for rain

2005-06-27T17:00:00-07:00

Starting tomorrow, I'm on vacation for nearly a week. It'll be spent redoing my bedroom and, depending on my progress there, my office. I'm quite looking forward to it.

Mullens Wedding and other assorted craziness

2005-07-02T17:00:00-07:00

Well, this vacation of mine hasn't been very relaxing. It has, however, been very expensive.

I kicked it off on Wednesday by installing a new hardwood laminate floor in my spare bedroom. It wasn't a horrible job, but it made my legs hurt for days, since I had to walk up and down my stairs about a thousand times between the measuring and cutting of everything.

Thursday I ran some errands and finished up just in time to hang out with Mullens and the male halves of the bridesmaids. It turned into kind of a second bachelor party with all sorts of drunken madness and a whole lot of fun. I had a great time.

I slept in on Friday and spent a good deal of the day hung over. Then was the rehearsal dinner. The plan was to take single Mullens out one last time after dinner, but I think everyone was pretty much done with going out by the end of the night. I went back to Alan's house and watched American Psycho and tried not to fall asleep in the middle.

And of course Saturday was the big day. I was up bright and early and got myself all tuxedoed out and prettied up and headed out to the church. It's always a bit awkward when you're standing in a wedding, with the photos and the long-drawn out periods of time when you feel like you should be doing something, but you can't find anything to do. The wedding went off without a hitch and the bridal party loaded onto the Party Trolley while we made our way to East Peoria. 2 Jager bombs and 4 beers later, we arrived. Dinner was excellent. The company was good. The drinks were free and plentiful. I took a lot of pictures, which can all be seen here. But here's my favorite:

That one is titled "oops", and it was a complete accident. I swear.

So I get home from the wedding at about 1:30 and I'm half-cocked. I realize I gave my only house key away to Emily to take care of my dog for me while I was away. No one was at her house when I got home, so I took off part of my tux and climbed through a window. It was a perfect way to end the night. Or something.

Today is a relaxation, rest, recovery day. Tomorrow is fireworks.

Mullens Wedding and other assorted craziness

2005-07-02T17:00:00-07:00

Well, this vacation of mine hasn't been very relaxing. It has, however, been very expensive.

That one is titled "oops", and it was a complete accident. I swear.

Today is a relaxation, rest, recovery day. Tomorrow is fireworks.

Well the end

2005-07-04T17:00:00-07:00

Well, the end of my vacation weekend wasn't as eventful as the beginning was. Sunday Alan and I stopped by Mullens' wedding barbeque/gift opening thing, picked up his car, then dropped off his present as his house. Then he, Angie, and I went to see War of the Worlds. I liked it better than I've been liking the Spielberg nonsense he's put out lately, but I still had issues with the Tim Robbins sections and, as per usual with Spielberg crap, the ending.

Yesterday I went out and visited with my parents for a while, then went to Alan's for a very small barbeque with steak and other assorted yumminess I didn't partake in, due to the 6 previous days I completely ignored my diet and I was eager to get back on track. Later in the evening, Angie, Dave and I went to see the fireworks down by the river. I've only missed them a handful of times since I was born, but the most notable time I missed them was last year when I attended Mullens' engagement party instead. It was a happy event, at least for the most part.

Anyway, allow me to be ridiculously vague for a bit.

I did something really good for myself this weekend, although I'm going to hold off for a bit before announcing to the 8 people reading this what it was. Those who know me best can probably guess what it was... you've been giving me shit about it for long enough and telling me to get off my ass and get it done. Well, 6 or 7 months later, I got it done.

6 or 7 months of waiting and wondering and deciding how to handle things made me one confused kid, but I'm feeling a lot better about things now. Not just relief, although that's mixed in there. Elated, maybe? Or maybe I'll just stick with happy. And anxious. That's another good word.

Anyway, more details as they come and as I feel comfortable spreading them to the world.

Well the end

2005-07-04T17:00:00-07:00

Anyway, allow me to be ridiculously vague for a bit.

Anyway, more details as they come and as I feel comfortable spreading them to the world.

THIEVES! Part TWO!

2005-07-05T17:00:00-07:00

I went out to my car again the other morning to once again see my stuff all strewn about my vehicle. I hadn't bothered replacing my stereo and, therefore, the CDs in my glovebox and I guess they took everything of value before, but that didn't stop them from re-checking. They're not the smartest kids in the world, but at least they're thorough.

The plan now is 2-fold. One- Find a bug zapper and connect it to the metal button used to open my glovebox, shocking the shit out of the next person who tries to open it. Pair this with a motion-sensor light and motion-activated web cam (which I have much experience with in my hideacam ventures). Get photos of stupid kids and post them all over the neighborhood. Two- Failing this extensive plan, Alan and I will wait in his basement drinking beer and staring out the window. When the criminals show, we run out with bats and beat the hell out of them. Or at least tie them to the fence and call the cops. I'm not under any illusion that they'll be put in prison or walk away with anything more than a slap on the wrists, but I want these punk kids to know that their actions will have consequences. And they won't always be good ones.

So this round, they made a fucking mess of my car (more than it already was), and stole, and get this part, the SILVER coins out of my coin tray. They left the pennies and took the quarters, nickles and dimes. Unbe-fucking-lievable. Now they're getting picky. Little jerks.

THIEVES! Part TWO!

2005-07-05T17:00:00-07:00

6 or 7 months of waiting, and this was the climax

2005-07-07T17:00:00-07:00

No pun intended, of course.

So, the ambiguity of the previous whatever posts is soon to be cleared up.

As many of you know, Angie and I have had a pretty special bond for many, many years. When Jaimee was packing, during one of our many fights, she referred to my love affair with her. For most of our relationship, I've looked at her as my little sister or just best friend. I was never jealous when she dated someone else, but I did feel some duty to protect her from the bad ones and push her towards the good ones. We've always watched out for each other in a motherly/brotherly way, and with the exception of a year or so when I stopped talking to her for reasons that don't matter now, we've been great friends.

Well, 7 or 8 months ago, I started getting the impression she wanted more than just the friendship we had. I'd never considered it before. She was always just Angie. I kind of assumed that's all she'd ever be. When I started feeling like a pseudo-boyfriend, I realized relatively quickly that I liked it. It felt right... more right than with anyone else I'd ever been with. It wasn't forced or uncomfortable or awkward. It just worked.

So a month or 2 later, I decided I wanted the same thing I thought she wanted. But, on the other hand, I was still kinda newly single and still really enjoying the single life. Mix in some insecurities and some "I don't want to ruin a good thing" type feelings, and you had my situation in a nutshell. I did kind of the wrong thing by just sitting on it, doing nothing, for many months in a row. It started dawning on me that if she found someone else, I'd be unhappy with that. And I realized that if I found anyone else, I probably wouldn't like them as much as I like her.

So 6 or 7 months pass and I make weak-ass passes at her and we kiss when we're drunk. Its fun and all, but I realize it can't last forever. At Mullens' wedding, conversation turned to the big "us", and I found myself at a perfect opportunity to ask her on a real-life date. She graciously accepted without giving me too much of a hard time, and the date was set.

Anyway, the big date was tonight, and it was fantastic. I'd put some effort and planning into it, to impress her a bit and to prove that I'm taking this seriously, and not just as some "friends with benefits" thing. We went to Alexander's, for a walk along the river, and for a carriage ride downtown. It was a very lovely night. I'm a little embarrassed to admit how nervousI was leading up to it. I mean, it's Angie. I've known her for more than a decade, and we've been really good friends for a big chunk of that.

On the carriage ride, we had a second "Talk". It was less nerve racking than when I asked her on a date, and it was basically a "so it's been 6 months... where do we go now" talk. The end result is that we're "dating". I'm not 100% sure what this entails, but I don't think I'm allowed to introduce her as my girlfriend just yet. This was mostly my call, as I think it would be way awkward to jump from "friends with an awkward relationship" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" in one fell swoop. We're playing it by ear, going slow, and seeing what happens.

I'm really happy about the result, really satisfied about the date, and a little weirded out that I'm not single anymore. But weirded out in a good way.

Balloon Fest 2005

2005-07-10T17:00:00-07:00

Unfortunately, there was no Friday night dinner with my boyz again this week. I got my weekly Polk fix on Wednesday at good 'ole Kouri's. Thursday was my big date with Angie. Friday I ate hot wings and drank a few beers with Fabish before he becomes a daddy (due any day now), followed by watching some crappy movie at Angie's.

Saturday I spent the majority of the day ripping out the old carpet and in my office, preceeded of course by throwing a bunch of stuff away and moving the remaining stuff into my living area. The carpet was really disgusting, and has been since I moved in. I was glad to get it up. That took the majority of the day, and that evening Angie and I took Jack to Balloon Fest and met with a bunch of other people. It was really fun, but really exhausting. I don't know how parents do it.

Sunday I went for my jog, took my dog for a walk, then headed out to buy a new floor for my office and a saw to cut it with. I started a bit later than I wanted to, and was surprised when plans for a barbeque popped up later in the evening. I got about 80% done, and it's looking very nice, if I do say so myself. If all goes as planned, I'll finish it up tonight. My plan is to repaint my front porch this weekend, which means my whole lower level of the house will have been redone and lookin' hot.

Anyhoo, I was interrupted for the barbeque. I ate Cheddar Wursts and played Washers and Snake Golf. I followed that up with some sittin' on my couch, then I went to bed. And that was my exciting weekend.

Balloon Fest 2005

2005-07-10T17:00:00-07:00

Ah the next

2005-07-12T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, the next few days will be filled with rain and thunderstormy goodness. I'm so excited, as is my grass and plants.

I've spent the last few days basically working myself into a stupor. Between the new floor installation in my office and spare bedroom, combined with re-filling and re-organizing the rooms and trying my best to clean other areas of my house at the same time, I haven't had a spare second. Oh yeah, and I also haven't been slacking on my running duties, which are almost always followed by walking my dog. I've been so worn out at the end of the day, but hopefully by the end of the weekend my life will be back sorted out and I can get on with the standard monotony of it all. That's my goal anyway.

Ah the next

2005-07-12T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, the next few days will be filled with rain and thunderstormy goodness. I'm so excited, as is my grass and plants.

The trip is set.

2005-07-13T17:00:00-07:00

The good news: Vegas baby. Angie and I have scheduled our trip, and I couldn't be more excited about gambling away more than I can actually afford. The bad news: We leave on my (our) birthday, which means this will be the second birthday I don't spend in my hometown, and the first birthday in a long, long time that Angie and I aren't having a party to dual-celebrate.

So, we leave on October 3rd, get back late on the 6th. It's a short trip, but somehow I think we'll manage to squeeze a ton of fun out of a few short days. We're staying at the MGM Grand, which I hear is good. Lions and whatnot.

Mullens is back from his honeymoon, so I met him for a few beers at Jimmy's to catch up on the last week or so. There's been a lot of big news.

The trip is set.

2005-07-13T17:00:00-07:00

Mullens is back from his honeymoon, so I met him for a few beers at Jimmy's to catch up on the last week or so. There's been a lot of big news.

Daddy Fabish

2005-07-14T17:00:00-07:00

Congratulations to Fabish, who became a daddy last night at 11:03 PM. His wife gave birth to Alise Alexandra (if I heard the voicemail correctly), who weighed in at 7 lbs. and is 19" long. And I'm sure she's adorable. I haven't talked to the parents yet, but hopefully I'll get up to see them tomorrow.

Other than that, I'm eating at a fancy steak house tonight for the 2nd time in 8 days. I'm eating Taco Bell for lunch as a warm-up.

Daddy Fabish

2005-07-14T17:00:00-07:00

Other than that, I'm eating at a fancy steak house tonight for the 2nd time in 8 days. I'm eating Taco Bell for lunch as a warm-up.

That's with an "E", kids.

2005-07-16T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so, I'm sure some of you could have guessed by now that I totally misheard the voicemail announcing Fabish's kid's name, and it's actually "Elise". I nailed the "Alexandra" part though.

So, Friday I kicked off the weekend with a trip to Alexander's for the second time in about a week. The Brandon was nice enough to tend to my steak at an overcrowded fire pit while I drank beer and chatted with Mr. and Mrs. Mullens. The steak was delicious, although dropping that much coinage per meal is something that maybe a broke-ass like myself shouldn't do on a weekly basis. Still, it was a good time. Oh, and happy birthday Wolfie.

Afterwards I stopped by Angie's house for a bit. We just watched TV and chatted it up for a while. Then it was time for a poker game at Mullens' house. There were 5 of us with a $5 buy in. Long story short, someone walked away $25 richer, and that someone is me. Because, if you haven't realized it by now, I rule at life.

Saturday I stopped by and visited Elise. She's a precious little kid, and pretty easy going compared to most newborns I've seen. Then I had to go out to my parents' house and get my grandpa's old roll-top desk for my newly remodled office. That night was the HOI Fair, which I go to every year just out of habit. This year was more fun than most, probably because I was spending the free $25 I got the night before so I didn't feel too horrible dropping $9 for a soda and corn dog. The group was me, Alan, Anna, Mullens, and Angie, with some other people who dropped by to say hello before scurrying off. Afterwards we went to Jimmy's for a quick drink, then home to bed.

Today I'm cleaning, organizing, and getting my house in order. It's a big job.

And now, I'd like to spend a few short seconds on the topic of me and Angie. We're dating now, and have announced that to everyone we feel like needs to know. The reactions have varied from "It's about time!" to "You weren't dating already?" to "Oh. Okay." and "Wow, that's weird." To an extent, I agree that it's a little weird. Sometimes surreal. But in an overwhelmingly positive way. I thought it would be way more awkward for us trying to find a balance between friends and dating, and I thought I'd have a hell of a time not treating her as "just a buddy". Nope. Honestly, it just seems like the next logical step in our relationship. I suspect it'll take some adjustment period for our mutual friends more than it'll take for us. But things are good, and everythings comin' up Wasson.

That's with an "E", kids.

2005-07-16T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, so, I'm sure some of you could have guessed by now that I totally misheard the voicemail announcing Fabish's kid's name, and it's actually "Elise". I nailed the "Alexandra" part though.

Today I'm cleaning, organizing, and getting my house in order. It's a big job.

My ass is sore

2005-07-17T17:00:00-07:00

I was cleaning up the mess I made installing a few new floors and loaded a bunch of quarter round into a garbage bag and started taking it outside. One of the nails in the quarter round popped out and stabbed me in the leg while I was walking down the stairs, which threw me off balance and I slid down the rest of the stairs on my ass. Now I've got a bruised butt and a cut leg.

The good news is that I got a lot of old content up on my new site. If you're in the mood for a blast from the internet past, check out Cardinal Deception: Live via Satellite, Our Toilet Exploded, The Crazy Old Lady Cam, and The Steal My Shit Cam. Coming Soon: NESpc, Mullens the Cussing Retard, Ash on Jeopardy, Dead Bodies Everywhere, and All Alone. Maybe tonight if I get time and motivation.

My ass is sore

2005-07-17T17:00:00-07:00

The good news is that I got a lot of old content up on my new site. If you're in the mood for a blast from the internet past, check out Cardinal Deception: Live via Satellite, Our Toilet Exploded, The Crazy Old Lady Cam, and The Steal My Shit Cam. Coming Soon: NESpc, Mullens theCussing Retard, Ash on Jeopardy, Dead Bodies Everywhere, and All Alone. Maybe tonight if I get time and motivation.

could she have opened it by mistake?

2005-07-20T17:00:00-07:00

I'll tell ya what. This heat is friggin' miserable. Last night I made it just over 2 miles before having to stop. Its a far cry from when it was 15 degrees cooler and I could do 6 and 7 miles without having to push myself too incredibly hard.

After the jog, Angie made me a nice, healthy dinner and we watched some cheesy reality TV. It was pretty much a fantastic night. Tonight is poker night, where I fully intend to walk away the winner again.

could she have opened it by mistake?

2005-07-20T17:00:00-07:00

Good luck/bad luck

2005-07-21T17:00:00-07:00

So last night was poker night at the Mullens' house. In the end it was Mullens playing with Anna's chips vs. me. At around 11 with no real chip leader and a loss of motivation to finish the game properly, Mullens and I split the pot. I was feeling really good about my luck. To celebrate our good fortune, Angie, Polk, Alan, Mullens and I headed to Jimmy's. This is where my luck changed.

On the way, I got pulled over. My headlight was out. It's been out for months. I was begging for a ticket to be honest, but somehow got away with a warning for that. Also, he asked for my insurance card which I was unable to produce, since I assume that the kids who broke into my car lost it or it slid under a seat or something as they were rummaging. I got a warning for that, too. Still, warning are better than tickets and I'm not feeling entirely un-lucky just yet.

I get home from Jimmy's, and my house is just baking. Ridiculously hot. I put my hand in front of a vent and while its blowing, its blowing hot air from outside. I check the thermostat, which is sitting at 91. I figured I could mess with it later and went to bed.

This morning, it was even hotter in my house. My AC is busted. The good news is that Angie's dad may be able to fix it for me cheap. Still I'm not feeling too bad.

I'm making my way to work when I see flashing lights in my rearview mirror for the 2nd time in about 10 hours. He gave me a 72 hour remittance ticket to change out my old license plate with a new one, despite the fact that a different cop told me I was perfectly legal with that other plate. Such is life.

I'm not feeling quite as shitty as I maybe should be, but I feel a little down in the dumps. It happens.

Good luck/bad luck

2005-07-21T17:00:00-07:00

This morning, it was even hotter in my house. My AC is busted. The good news is that Angie's dad may be able to fix it for me cheap. Still I'm not feeling too bad.

I'm not feeling quite as shitty as I maybe should be, but I feel a little down in the dumps. It happens.

My weekend got

2005-07-24T17:00:00-07:00

My weekend got off to a crappy start with the tickets and the warnings and the busted air conditioner and all. I spent my free afternoon hanging out in the police department to get my ticket taken care of, then spent some time hanging out in my bedroom with the window unit AC running. I cheered up a bit by dinner time, where I headed to the Penguin Tap with Polk, Brandon, Kristi, and Jess. I left early to get some rest in before my big race on Saturday.

The race was a whole lot of fun. It was 6 miles of running, biking, and getting really ridiculously muddy and dirty. The end of the race was a huge mud pit on a hill that you had to crawl up while getting pelted with mud from other runners. It was a good time.

Angie's dad came over that afternoon to see if my air problems were something that could be easily fixed. Long story short, they're not. I'm going to need a whole new unit and while I'm at it, I may as well get a new furnace. Since those 2 expenses would require a loan, I may as well borrow more and get new windows. Ah, the joys of homeownership.

Sunday I just ran a ton of errands, hung out at Angie's where she has AC, and saw Wedding Crashers a little later.

My weekend got

2005-07-24T17:00:00-07:00

Sunday I just ran a ton of errands, hung out at Angie's where she has AC, and saw Wedding Crashers a little later.

Oh boy I

2005-07-27T17:00:00-07:00

Oh boy, I tell ya what. This cool weather/rain is a welcome change from the over-100-degree weather/drought we Central-Illinoisers have been suffering from lately. And just in time to make my Air-Conditioning-Less life not so horrible miserable. This paragraph contained a lot of hyphens.

I took advantage of the nice weather with a 5 mile run last night, followed by a 3 mile walk with my dog, followed by a bladder buster night at Jimmy's. In theory, the bladder buster seemed like a lot of fun. Free beer until someone in the bar used the restroom. It started at 8 and ended whenever someone peed. I was expecting to see drunk guys guarding the bathroom door, not letting anyone in. I expected to see the first urination happen with "boos" all across the bar. I expected something out of the ordinary. Come 9:30, one of the bartenders yelled out that he caught someone peeing in the parking lot and there would be no more free beer. What a cop out. The conspiracy theorist in me suspects there was no parking lot urination, but someone just got sick of giving away free beer. I expected this announcement to be followed by a huge line at the bathroom door, which also didn't happen. I didn't have to pee even in the slightest. Anyway, a night that sounded fun in theory turned out to be a tad on the disappointing side.

Other than that, I haven't been doing much. The heat wave and lack of AC forced me to spend 2 evenings in a row confined to my bedroom with the door closed and window unit running full steam. I wasn't roughing it, with my laptop, cable TV, and DVD player, but I felt a tad pathetic sitting on my bed with my dog for a few hours a night, a few nights in a row. Such is life.

Oh boy I

2005-07-27T17:00:00-07:00

I took advantage of the nice weather with a 5 mile run last night, followed by a 3 mile walk with my dog, followed by a bladder buster night at Jimmy's. In theory, the bladder buster seemed like a lot of fun. Free beer until someone in the bar used the restroom. It started at 8 and ended whenever someone peed. I was expecting to see drunk guys guarding the bathroom door, not letting anyone in. I expected to see the first urination happen with "boos" all across the bar. I expected something out of theordinary. Come 9:30, one of the bartenders yelled out that he caught someone peeing in the parking lot and there would be no more free beer. What a cop out. The conspiracy theorist in me suspects there was no parking lot urination, but someone just got sick of giving away free beer. I expected this announcement to be followed by a huge line at the bathroom door, which also didn't happen. I didn't have to pee even in the slightest. Anyway, a night that sounded fun in theory turned out to be a tad on the disappointing side.

Peoria Cops on a Rampage

2005-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

Yep, I got pulled over again. 3 times in 2 weeks for those counting. I got a verbal warning this time. I guess the good thing about all this pulling over is that none of it has cost me any money so far. This time it was for speeding... 52 in a 45. The cop told me he'd look like an idiot giving me a ticket, but wanted me to respect when cops were around and slow down. I thought he was being a dick. Then he quizzed me on the other warnings I've gotten recently and made sure I took care of them.

Anyway, so yesterday I spent my afternoon on Angie's boat, then showed up just a tad late to Kouri's for beer and food with the regular gang. I woke up nice and early this morning, jogged, walked my dog, replaced my cell phone, and put in my old car stereo so I'll have some tunes to listen to on my way to Chicago. I leave in a few minutes.

Peoria Cops on a Rampage

2005-07-29T17:00:00-07:00

Slacking on my blogging

2005-08-02T17:00:00-07:00

First off, let me just say how much this sucks. With that out of the way, let's play a bit of catch-up on my exciting life, shall we?

Okay, so I went back to Chicago this weekend. It was a city I called home for just over 2 years, and although I was ecstatic to leave it, its always nice to go back and visit the old neighborhood and see what's changed. It was a rushed visit with a lot of traffic fighting, but it was a lot of fun to see everyone at the bachelor party I attended there.

Sunday I worked on my dad's new website, then spent a few hours lounging around doing nothing. Angie came over and we watched some Family Guy and ordered some pizza. Monday I worked, then ate Lean Cuisines with Angie and took a 4 mile run down on the river trails. Last night I was in an awful mood from work, so I took a bit of a drive to cool off. I had to stop by FedEx near the airport, so I delivered Alan some Taco Bell and hung out with him for a little while. On my way home, I stopped by Angie's to deliver her replacement battery I had just picked up from FedEx before heading home to run another 4 miles and lift some weights.

And now we're all caught up. Tonight I get to eat a free steak dinner. Tomorrow I think we're play poker again. The next day Dukes of Hazzard opens up. It's a big few days.

Slacking on my blogging

2005-08-02T17:00:00-07:00

First off, let me just say how much this sucks. With that out of the way, let's play a bit of catch-up on my exciting life, shall we?

And now we're all caught up. Tonight I get to eat a free steak dinner. Tomorrow I think we're play poker again. The next day Dukes of Hazzard opens up. It's a big few days.

Just a good 'ole boy

2005-08-07T17:00:00-07:00

So, Dukes of Hazzard was pretty much the dumbest, awesomest, most entertaining movie I've seen in a long, long time. I loved it.

Anyway, on Friday Angie, Mullens, Anna, and I went to see the movie, followed by some drinks at Jimmy's and down town. I stayed out way late, but had a good time. Saturday I had to run out to my parents' house to take care of their cat while they're on vacation. Other than that, I didn't do much all day. I went to Hooters and Old Chicago with Alan for lunch and dinner respectively, and I was in bed and asleep by 10:30. I'd had a big night the night before.

Yesterday Alan threw a small pool party at his house. I drank some beers and ate some cheddar wursts and did some "swimming", if you can call it that. And now I'm back at work.

Just a good 'ole boy

2005-08-07T17:00:00-07:00

So, Dukes of Hazzard was pretty much the dumbest, awesomest, most entertaining movie I've seen in a long, long time. I loved it.

Yesterday Alan threw a small pool party at his house. I drank some beers and ate some cheddar wursts and did some "swimming", if you can call it that. And now I'm back at work.

Reached a new low

2005-08-09T17:00:00-07:00

I weighed in this morning, and it was a monumental event. 181. That's right everyone, I'm down nearly 50 pounds, but since last time I dieted I was down 68, 50 doesn't seem like a huge deal. But the important part is that even though I lost a bunch of weight before, I stopped when I hit 183. I'm now the lightest and thinnest I've been since starving myself almost to death in Chicago. My original goal was to hit 180, but since I'm only a pound away and still have a bit of that 'ole spare tire, I've updated my goal to 175. 6 pounds will probably take me more than a month, but hopefully that'll rid me of these silly love handles that have haunted me since I was disturbingly skinny in college.

Not much else to report, I'm afraid. I thought this heat wave was over, and I thought my self-imposed bedroom/AC shut-ins were over, but alas, they're not. At least I have my window unit to save me from dying of heat stroke.

Reached a new low

2005-08-09T17:00:00-07:00

Is it just

2005-08-14T17:00:00-07:00

Is it just me, or are weekends getting shorter? I'm sure the feeling has something to do with sunset coming a bit sooner than it has for a while, and its a tad darker when I wake up in the morning. Summer is on its way out, which really disappoints me. Except for my air conditioner pooping out a few weeks ago, this has been one fantastic season. I'm sad to see it go.

Anyway, this weekend. At some point last week, maybe on Thursday, Angie and I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I thought it was fantastic. On Friday we didn't go to Kouri's for some reason I still can't wrap my head around, but tried to go to Schooner's. When it was too crowded to get a table, I recommended Kouri's again but was shot down. We ended up walking in the rain to Crusen's, where we had good food but shitty service. And I was happy Dayv and Alan were there to make me feel slightly less 5th-wheelish. Afterwards I just went home and sat around.

Saturday I didn't feel like being productive, so I wasted a few hours in the morning watching Cube Zero, which was just fantastic. Cube ruled out loud, but HyperCube was an embarrassing disappointment of a crap movie. Barely watchable. Cube Zero had me until the ending, which sucked. I'd planned on doing some woodworking, but the rain put a stop to my plans, as the only good place for me to do my wood stuff is outside on my driveway. I mostly just watched TV all day. That night, Angie and I went to Old Settler's Days in Brimfield, sticking it out in the beer tent most of the night.

Last night was my sister's birthday party, so Angie and I headed out to my parents' house for a cookout and cake. After a short trip to Wal-Mart, we went our separate ways and I called it a night. And today is pay day, which rules.

Is it just

2005-08-14T17:00:00-07:00

The wacky tripod game.

2005-08-17T17:00:00-07:00

It had been just over 6 weeks since I have taken a day off work for anything. I decided that was long enough. I took the afternoon off yesterday to go get some wood and build a little corner unit thing for Angie's kitchen. I made some pretty good progress, but work stopped short when I had to go meet Polk for dinner.

Dinner was excellent, Polk is the man, and Becky, the new waitress, seemed cool enough. I'm gonna miss these summer days, since those kinds of nights tend to not happen in any other season.

The wacky tripod game.

2005-08-17T17:00:00-07:00

Dinner was excellent, Polk is the man, and Becky, the new waitress, seemed cool enough. I'm gonna miss these summer days, since those kinds of nights tend to not happen in any other season.

Transfer to message center

2005-08-21T17:00:00-07:00

Man, I'm going to miss summer. Not the heat necessarily, but the season. This has been a great season.

Okay, so the weekend. It wasn't really as eventful as it should have been this close to the end of summer. On Friday I finished work on Angie's corner cabinet thing and played babysitter for her dog for the afternoon. She came over later and we watched some TV and whatnot. After she left, I broke into Alan's house and stole a movie. I watched that and went to bed. Saturday my dad came over and we measured a couple of windows, then headed to the hardware store to get some new ones made. That was expensive and annoying. My house is just getting frustrating at this point, to be honest. I hate spending money on it.

So that afternoon was lunch with Angie's family for her grandma's 80th birthday, then over to her house for cake and ice cream. We made a quick stop at Mullens' birthday barbeque thing, then I headed to Alan's house to watch some Dane Cook action on DVD.

Yesterday Angie and I made a few stops at various home improvement places, then went back to my place to put a fancy top on her corner cabinet. I spent a few hours lifting a bunch of weights and walking my dog and recumbant biking. And that was my weekend.

I'd also like to spend just a bit of time on the gas situation here. I spent $42 filling up my stupid car this morning. My only consolation is that I drive about 9 miles a day, so I only fill up once a month, but wow. It's only going to go up, too. Hopefully this will get the smart people of the world finding an alternate way to power our vehicles. What I can't understand is these smart hackers tweaking their Priuses to go 70 and 80 miles per gallon, while Toyota isn't taking their innovations to the factory. I've seen solar powered Priuses on the internet, or ones tweaked to run off their batteries more than their gas engines.

And why isn't anyone building a diesel hybrid? You could easily build one that got 70 miles per gallon. Then rig it to run off biodiesel or vegetable oil, and we'd be set. C'mon, car companies... we need to get off our dependence on non-renewable resources. We need to be able to make our own fuel here in the states. We need to be able to make it for less than $2.50 a gallon.

It's scary to think what will happen when we hit peak oil. And the scariest thing is that this isn't going to be our children's problem... more than likely, we'll hit it within the next 20-30 years. Innovations are coming, but it's all happening a bit too slow for my taste.

Transfer to message center

2005-08-21T17:00:00-07:00

Man, I'm going to miss summer. Not the heat necessarily, but the season. This has been a great season.

Dodged a bullet

2005-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

Well, my dad broke the news to me the other day that they were seriously looking at moving into a new house. It bothered me more than it probably should have. I finally came to terms with it and was happy that they were moving into a nicer place. Then they told me the plans were off, and they'd be staying put since the new place's neighborhood association wouldn't let him build a garage as big as he wanted. It was disappointing, I guess. My parents deserve to live wherever they want, although the thought of my first Christmas morning spent in another place kind of bothered me. Without tradition and family, what have you got? Well, friends, I guess. But still.

I sure had a crappy night's sleep last night. After my 6 mile run and 3 mile walk with the dog, I shoulda been all sorts of worn out. But I just tossed and turned and woke up a lot during the night. I'm all tired as all get out today.

This weekend will be super-sweet. The possibility of me jumping out of an airplane is high. Even if I don't jump out of an airplane, I'm still going on a hot date with a hot girl to a hot place, and then heading to the boat to warm up my gambling skills for my trip to Vegas that's coming up in just over a month. And, of course, Kouri's on Friday. Add all those things up, and you have my life ruling out loud right now. Oh, happy day.

Dodged a bullet

2005-08-22T17:00:00-07:00

This weekend will be super-sweet. The possibility of me jumping out of an airplane is high. Even if I don't jump out of an airplane, I'm still going on a hot date with a hot girl to a hot place, and then heading to the boat to warm up my gambling skills for mytrip to Vegas that's coming up in just over a month. And, of course, Kouri's on Friday. Add all those things up, and you have my life ruling out loud right now. Oh, happy day.

So last night

2005-08-27T17:00:00-07:00

So, last night Angie and I met Chris and Katie at the boat so he could show me how to gamble properly before my trip to Vegas. After not being able to get a seat at the $5 Blackjack table, we made our way to Roulette. Let me preface this story by saying I had absolutely no idea what I was doing as I stepped up to the table and bought my chips. My $20 bought me a stack of just 4 $5 chips. I put 2 on black. 1 on a random row at the bottom. 1 on a random space inside. I could have easily lost every single dollar on this first spin, and as Chris explained my rookie mistakes (starting with getting $5 chips instead of $1), the dealer put the little ball in the little wheel thing. I ended up hitting every single square I had money on. I thought I'd doubled my money, which sounded good to me. Chris went pretty crazy at my luck and I kind of shrugged it off. Until he explained to me that the $5 chip I randomly threw in the middle had 35 to 1 odds and I'd be getting back nearly $200 from this first spin ever. An hour and a half later I had turned that $200 into $275 before I decided to stop while I was way, way, way ahead. Overall, I'd say gambling RULES.

Kouri's was on Friday with a few people who don't show up nearly enough, which was awesome. Later that night, I had a few beers with Monica and Emily and a few a little while later with Alan and Jenny.

Today is a fried chicken lunch and a whole lotta nothing after that. It should be a good time.

So last night

2005-08-27T17:00:00-07:00

Today is a fried chicken lunch and a whole lotta nothing after that. It should be a good time.

Fire Water Burn.

2005-08-29T17:00:00-07:00

For the first time in a long time, I'm mopey today. Not sad, necessarily. Not depressed. Just kind of "blah" and "mopey", and a little frustrated, I guess. I only halfway know what's wrong, and I'm even more pissed off at myself for not being able to talk my way out of it like I usually am. Nope. Still mopey.

Here's a short list of things that could do a good job cheering me up right now: Hoops pizza, splitting 3 pitchers of beer with my dawg Polk, hot wings, thunderstorms, a comfortable chair and mindless slasher movie, cuddling on the couch, my dog, an amusement park, winning some more money, a long night's sleep, and making out.

On a related note, getting older is for chumps. Seriously. Deep down, I realize that's the source of my moodiness today. I turn 26 soon, which is the last year I'll be able to claim mid-20's. Then comes late 20's. Shit, 30 is just around the corner.

It's not just a number or an age that has me down. It's changes in people's personalities, or sometimes lack of changes in their personality. I see people in a much different place in their lives that I am. That's not a bad thing, but it does make things a lot more difficult than a few years ago and we were all in the same place.

Let's go back 4 years. I was living with 2 other guys in the sweetest apartment in the world in right next to a college. All my friends were in school, and I was self-employed and didn't have a lot to do. All my friends were interested in hanging out all the time, drinking beer constantly, getting pizza delivered, and anything that involved having a good time. Responsibilities? Well, they'd still be there tomorrow, so let's have a beer! It was fantastic. In these past 4 years, some of the people involved in my life back then have gotten married. Some have gotten married and had babies. Some are in the exact same mindset they were back then. And I'm somewhere in the middle.

It's a hard position to be in, since I can't stay out until 4AM anymore, even on weekends, unless I pump myself up for it and take a nap. I'm up early every day, even on weekends, and I feel like I can't waste a whole Saturday anymore being hungover, since I have bills to pay and a lawn to mow and laundry to clean and a dog to feed and walk and yadda yadda yadda. But I also don't have a wife or kid to stay at home with. So nights like last night when I really didn't want to stay in my house all night, I felt like I didn't have a choice. It was a work night, so I couldn't wait until someone got off work at 11, then go down and have a few drinks with them. But I'm also not going to intrude on my married friend's dinners, and I'm certainly not going to call my friends who are also fathers. They're definitely too busy.

So I'm kind of in this annoying place where I have to wait patiently by the phone for my married/engaged/father friends to call and let me know when they have a free night so I can actually hang out with them. They're not calling because they've got better things to do with their families/significant others. My drinker/partier friends don't bother with the invitations anymore because I've rejected them one too many times, and, truth be told, I'd probably opt out of their plans on a work night anyway. They certainly don't call during the week, but sometimes they'll throw me a bone during the weekend.

Anyway, most of the time none of this bothers me, because it all makes complete sense in my noggin. I can't be mad at anyone, but nights like last night when I sat there trying to figure out who to call, I kind of annoyed myself with my patheticness. I guess I kind of put my eggs in one basket and assumed I'd be one of those married guys who, at the very least, had a wife at home to spend time with. Instead I've been spending a lot of time by myself.

This has gotten longer than I intended. Here's hoping I feel better tomorrow. I hate being mopey. Especially when I know its my own darn fault.

Fire Water Burn.

2005-08-29T17:00:00-07:00

It's not just a number or an age that has me down. It's changes in people's personalities, or sometimes lack of changes in their personality. I see people in a much different place intheir lives that I am. That's not a bad thing, but it does make things a lot more difficult than a few years ago and we were all in the same place.

This has gotten longer than I intended. Here's hoping I feel better tomorrow. I hate being mopey. Especially when I know its my own darn fault.

Better already

2005-08-30T17:00:00-07:00

I took care of some of my list of "things that would make me feel better", and they did. I'm a huge believer in realizing you can't change people's actions, only your reaction to it. I guess I just need to practice that more often, or somehow shorten the time it takes me to react better.

In other news, I'm taking a lot of vacations in the next few weeks, including... wait for it... flying to California for about 60 hours to attend Brice's wedding. It'll be nice to see him again, even though I'm not going to know a single soul at the wedding. I'm just crossing my fingers that there's an open bar.

Better already

2005-08-30T17:00:00-07:00

Vacations are super sweet.

2005-09-05T17:00:00-07:00

Hey, so I had 4 days off, all in a row. They were filled with obligations and plans and everything else, but I had a pretty wonderful time. I kicked it off on Friday, where I slept in late and spent my morning working out and running. Mullens called at lunch time, and man... it was all downhill from there for the day. We had a few beers, then followed it up by having a few more beers, then maybe a few too many beers. We finished just in time for him to drop me off at Kouri's for even more beers.

For those of you reading this who were in attendance, I woke up on Saturday morning feeling great (whoda thunk that would have happened, huh?) and instantly remembered that pink-purses' friend Suzanne rode my bus in high school, and I used to give her hell because she was 17 and not driving. So even though I was being that creepy guy who wouldn't leave her alone, I did, in fact, know her from my past.

Anyway, Saturday Angie and I ditched our Starved Rock plans because of the gas prices and our not-exactly-fuel-efficient vehicles, and instead went out to Wildlife Prarie Park, which I hadn't been to in many, many years. We hit the 50' slide, but it was out of commission for repairs. I found Woody, which was awesome. As I told Angie about my plans to hunt him down again, she looked at me like I was crazy and I started doubting my memories of this man who was built into a tree. But Woody did exist, and he was way creepier than I remembered him when I was just a lad.

That night was a family reunion. I don't have a whole lot to say about it, I guess. One of my more interesting relatives is my mom's cousin. I've only met him a handful of times, but he's a pretty memorable guy on account of his missing fingers and horrible scars and burn marks from the time he crashed an airplane that he built himself in his back yard. Jack couldn't stop looking at him and asking questions about why he looked the way he did. He was good natured about it and answered his questions. Even though the crash happened 20-some years ago, I'm not sure I could be so good natured about a crash that scarred me for life and killed my brother-in-law.

That night Robert and I went to see Transporter 2, which rocked, but didn't rock quite as hard as the first one did.

Sunday I was absolutely humiliated in a poker game, where I came in 4th place out of 5 people. Not my proudest moment. After the game I went to Alan's and started watching a movie, but almost fell asleep in the middle of it, so I just went home. Earlier in the day, I helped my sister and Robert do a bunch of yard work. It wasn't how I would have chosen to spend 5 or 6 hours of my vacation, but I'm sure they'll help me when I get a yard that requires a bunch of yard work.

Monday I went shopping with Angie, met Fabish and Mullens for lunch at Dynasty Buffet, then ran more errands with Angie before changing her oil and finishing and moving her custom-built corner cabinet. I picked up dinner for Alan and drove it out to the airport and hung out there for a bit before heading home, walking to Blockbuster to make use of my new unlimited rental thingie, then walking home to get some laundry done.

And there ya have it. Arguably the busiest I've been in a weekend in a long, long time. Next weekend I'm taking a train to Chicago for a Cubs game. About a week and a half later, I fly out to California for Brice's wedding. About a week later, I fly out to Vegas, baby! Have I mentioned how excited I am about Vegas?

Vacations are super sweet.

2005-09-05T17:00:00-07:00

That night Robert and I went to see Transporter 2, which rocked, but didn't rock quite as hard as the first one did.

Post, damn it.

2005-09-08T17:00:00-07:00

Alright LJers, I'm getting sick and tired of constantly checking my friend's list only to be disappointed by the lack of updates. Sick and tired!

I also realize that as summers come to a close, social lives tend to become a little less busy and topics on which to post pop up less frequently. After so many months of me posting about my drunken fun times, it seems silly to report on the latest episode of Celebrity Fit Camp, doesn't it? Not that there's anything wrong with a little Celebrity Fit Camp every now and then (rock on, Phil!).

So, I haven't done hardly anything of note this week, hence the lack of updates. I'm taking full advantage of that unlimited Blockbuster rental thing, and am tempted to switch to NetFlix for more variety except that I like physically picking movies up. Plus the walk to the big BB does my waistline good.

The new love of my life is Coke Zero. I've spent the last 3 or 4 years now skipping from one variety of diet soda to another, and Coke Zero is my lastest infatuation. Next week it'll be something different. Mr. Pibb was the only soda to maintain an infatuation with me for several years. That was a quality beverage.

Big plans this weekend, too! Oh, no, I'm making that up. There's rumors of Rib Fest at some point, although its up in the air. I do have to mow my lawn.

Oh, man, last night sucked. I was minding my business watching Ringu 2 when I decided a Propel was in order. Opening the Propel bottle is harder than it should be, with a cellophane wrapper, then you take off the lid and rip away the tin foil thing, then reassemble before you can actually drink anything. As I twisted off the cap, a bastard piece of sharp plastic lodged itself into my middle finger and as I twisted the bottle, ripped chunks of flesh off. Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but this stupid asshole bottle should have been better machined to prevent things like this from happening to its loyal consumer. It happened about 3 more times during my cinematic experience as I twisted open the bottle top to drink. No, it didn't dawn on me to leave it open after the 2nd time. Or 3rd.

This, my loyal friends and readers, has been a ridiculously long and boring entry, but I hope it serves as a temporary distraction from your job or whatever you're reading this to distract you from. Now help a brotha out and post something equally uninteresting for me to read.

Post, damn it.

2005-09-08T17:00:00-07:00

Alright LJers, I'm getting sick and tired of constantly checking my friend's list only to be disappointed by the lack of updates. Sick and tired!

Big plans this weekend, too! Oh, no, I'm making that up. There's rumors of Rib Fest at some point, although its up in the air. I do have to mow my lawn.

I guess I

2005-09-12T17:00:00-07:00

I guess I haven't been doing too well with this posting thing either. The weekend went by in a blaze, and not much happened that needs reportin'. Friday Angie and I watched some episodes of Lost, which got me completely hooked. We also went to Applebee's with her mom and started a puzzle, because we're young party animals.

Saturday I hit RibFest with Alan, Nathan, Jenny, and some dude. The ribs were excellent. Then we went to Martini's and had some drinks before I called it a night.

Sunday I had lunch with the family, including Jack and Peter, at Avanti's, followed by a whole lotta nothin' for the rest of the day. Yesterday I watched Kung Fu Hustle, which was friggin' ridiculously awesome and sweet. I don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I did when the screw ups were trying to throw their knives at the landlord lady. Well, sometimes I laugh harder at America's Funniest Home Videos, but still.

I guess I

2005-09-12T17:00:00-07:00

Saturday I hit RibFest with Alan, Nathan, Jenny, and some dude. The ribs were excellent. Then we went to Martini's and had some drinks before I called it a night.

Well here I

2005-09-18T17:00:00-07:00

Well, here I am, back at work after another long weekend. But let's take it from when I left off. Wednesday I went to Hoops with Polk and Wolford and some other folks for some awesome pizza and good 'ole male bonding. I also had to pack and run my dog out to my parents' house where she'd be staying for the next few days.

I woke up bright and early on Thursday to make our way to Bloomington to catch a train. Alan was asleep when we went to get him, which made us miss our train, which meant I got to be the lucky driver. I've got pretty serious road rage, and when you mix in a case of me being pissed off that we missed our train, you have an unpleasant drive up to Chicago. We got up their early and wandered around and saw the sights, including this enormous mirror ball thingie.

There's more pics here for those interested. The Cubs game was okay, but I'm not a huge sports fan, so it didn't keep my interest too well. Afterwards we hit some bars and drank some beers, then went back to the hotel room for a little more drinking.

We left bright and early the next morning and got home just in time for me to install some replacement windows in my kitchen. The job was a breeze, so I went ahead and ordered 11 more windows to do the rest of my house.

Saturday I finished up the windows, then headed to Brian's Peoria wedding reception thing, where I got to see a lot of people I don't ever get to see. It was good catching up with everyone. I also squeezed in seeing part of a rugby game on Saturday. I went to bed early.

Yesterday I did a whole lot of sitting around and calling people trying to get out of my house. Eventually I headed to Angie's, and we just watched some TV and sat around.

Friday I head out to California. 2 weeks from today, VEGAS.

http://www.tim.cx/pics/index.php?album=cruddy+buddy

Well here I

2005-09-18T17:00:00-07:00

Yesterday I did a whole lot of sitting around and calling people trying to get out of my house. Eventually I headed to Angie's, and we just watched some TV and sat around.

Friday I head out to California. 2 weeks from today, VEGAS.

http://www.tim.cx/pics/index.php?album=cruddy+buddy

Geeking out

2005-09-19T17:00:00-07:00

In an effort to cut costs in my life (believe it or not), I broke down and bought a new toy. It's a dual-tuner TV input card for my computer with built-in MPEG2 encoding on each input. This means I can plug in cable TV and record 2 programs at once. That means I can take cable from my neighbor (who knows of my plan and is okay with it since he's taking my internet), set up my own sweet little computer-based PVR, and get rid of the overpriced DISH stuff, and be back in business.

So, with this fancy tuner card and a bunch of leftover computer stuff in my basement, I built a pretty substantialish PVR unit. It's a 1.4gHz Athlon (which is plenty, because the hardware based encoding puts very little strain on the CPU), with 512 megs of RAM, a 64 meg GeForce3 with S-Video output, a WinTV PVR-500 from Haupaugge, and wireless networking. Unfortunately, the only spare hard drive I had was a meager 20 gig, which will only store 6-7 hours of video. A bigger one can come once I realize this will work and work well.

My first attempt at this was with a software application called MythTV. Long story short, I wasted a day of my life trying, unsuccessfully, to get it to work. I'm not fimiliar with Linux enough to get everything set up appropriately. When I use Linux, it better work the first time because I'm worthless at trouble-shooting problems. Well, it didn't work the first time, so it was back to the drawing board for this Windows-dependent-pseudo-geek.

Using the power of Google, I found GB-PVR. It's a similar set up to MythTV, but runs on Windows XP. I'm able to work in an operating system I know with a great front end, not to mention all the plugins and added utilities that people have built for GB-PVR.

I started off installing Windows 2000 with all the applicable updates, only to find that my new video capture card wasn't supported under Windows 2000. I upgraded to Windows XP Professional, and had GB-PVR running in no time. I simply set up an account at Zap2it to get 4 days worth of TV listings, added my 2 tuner cards, and I was in business, watching TV and DVDs in no time with no problem.

My next step is installing automatic commercial-skipping software to automatically delete commercials in TV shows I record, saving a tad of my precious disk space. I'm also in the market for a cheap remote control to make it comfortable to use from my couch without a silly keyboard and mouse getting in my way.

Future plans include a much larger hard drive to store my movies, and a DVD burner to output what I record.

Well even though

2005-09-19T17:00:00-07:00

Well, even though it's been a few months since I custom-built my website to handle all sorts of geeking out without an audience, I hadn't actually taken advantage of any of that. Until last night, I mean. If you're interested in what I did, click here. Oh, and ignore all the empty entries at the bottom of the "real" entry. I'll have to fix that eventually.

Since I won't be around for the next few Fridays, if any of the regular or irregular Friday night crew want to break tradition for a mid-week dinner (preferably at Kouri's since our days there are limited), give me a ring-a-dig.

Well even though

2005-09-19T17:00:00-07:00

I'll tell you

2005-09-21T17:00:00-07:00

I'll tell you what. Last night rocked my nuts off. I went to Kouri's, otherwise known as the best restaurant in the world. It was a beautiful night, and Mel was our waitress and Jen was a fellow customer. Some pitchers of beer, some hot wings, some good conversation and male bonding. It all added up to a good 'ole time.

Afterwards, I stopped by Angie's for a bit. Then took my dog for a short walk. Before hand, I lifted a bunch of weights and rode a long ways on my recumbant bike.

For the past few months, I've been migrating back to my desktop PC from my laptop. I don't know why, exactly. Last night, I think my monitor broke. And now, a moment of silence for my monitor and a little story about it.

I was in my 2nd year at the Institute of Art in Chicago, working on one of my animation finals on my computer when my monitor fizzled and died. Thankfully, I had my car up with me, so I hopped in and headed for Best Buy (this was before they were off-limits). I picked out the cheapest, yet largest, monitor I could find and shoved it as best I could into my trunk, then headed home. I had to parallel park without the ability to see through my back window. Once I was out of my car and had unloaded the monitor, I realized how far away I was from my apartment. Driving to Best Buy didn't really save me any time at all, and only took off about 2 blocks of my total distance. I had to lug this enormous thing back to my apartment. The experience took 2 or 3 hours, start to finish.

That was nearly 5 years ago, so I suppose its time to retire the beast. Such is life.

It could also be a bad video card or cable, however. A bit of trouble shooting is in order, but I'm kind of excited to buy an LCD monitor.

I'll tell you

2005-09-21T17:00:00-07:00

Afterwards, I stopped by Angie's for a bit. Then took my dog for a short walk. Before hand, I lifted a bunch of weights and rode a long ways on my recumbant bike.

That was nearly 5 years ago, so I suppose its time to retire the beast. Such is life.

It could also be a bad video card or cable, however. A bit of trouble shooting is in order, but I'm kind of excited to buy an LCD monitor.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2005-09-22T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I'm off to a quick weekend in California. Everyone, try not to miss me too horribly badly while I'm gone, although missing me a little is appropriate. I'll be back on Monday, at when I'll crash early to recover from my weekend. Tuesday will probably be spent in recovery as well. Wednesday is 3 pitcher night with Polk. Friday is a birthday party for me. Saturday is another kind of party or something. Monday is VEGAS, BABY.

These are busy times, but they'll be fun.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2005-09-22T17:00:00-07:00

These are busy times, but they'll be fun.

Californication

2005-09-26T17:00:00-07:00

California was fantastic, if I may say so. It was good to see Brice again, and good to realize that even though a lot of him and his life has changed, deep down he's the same old guy I was such good friends with so many years ago. The wedding was nice, the reception was fun, and the most important part of the wedding is that I caught the garter for the first time ever.

So anyway, it was a long few days of travel, not a lot of sleep, and ridiculous schedule. I've got a few days to recover, and I'll need them. After sleeping over 10 hours last night, I realized I could have slept a whole lot more. It was tough waking up today.

Californication

2005-09-26T17:00:00-07:00

Sorry for the confusion

2005-09-27T17:00:00-07:00

It was brought to my attention tonight that in my mentioning of a birthday party, some people read that as me having/throwing myself a "fun" birthday party with friends and beer and me being a general idiot in public. Alas, this wasn't my intention. 26 isn't a fun birthday anyway. The birthday party I spoke of is just going to be my parents, sis, bro-in-law, and nephews. Sorry if anyone has planned around my misleading writing.

So, this morning as I was putting my shirt on, a heard a big crash right outside my house. I ran outside to see if everyone was okay, and I saw that a Jeep Cherokee had run head long into a school bus. The driver of the Cherokee was getting out of her car as I approached, She was shaken up, but seemed okay otherwise. I advised her to turn off her car ASAP, since her coolant was leaking all over the road and she was going to overheat otherwise. The kids in the bus looked like they were having a good 'ole time with all the commotion. Anyway, I knew that any accident with a school bus was going to be cause for ambulances, firetrucks, and cop cars. Man, was I right. It was tough getting out of my driveway almost 20 minutes later with all the flashing lights and people everywhere. The ambulance drivers looked bored, so I assume everyone got out of the accident relatively unharmed. That was my excitement for the day.

Sorry for the confusion

2005-09-27T17:00:00-07:00

I did something completely ridiculous.

2005-09-30T17:00:00-07:00

Well, last night was fun. Angie and I headed out to my parents house for our birthday celebration. My parents got me the awesomest present ever: an automatic, robotic vacuum cleaner. It rules outloud. I'm straightening my house later today so that the little vacuum can do its job properly.

Afterwards, I went out with Fabish to do some catching up, then over to Alan's to hang out with Emily and Dave for a bit.

Oh, but the silly thing I did happened between dinner with the parents and beers with Fabish. While at my parents house, I was drooling over my dad's awesome new cell phone. It has a 1.3 megapixel camera! Expandable memory! You can watch movies on it! Bluetooth! And it's SHINY! Well, when I got home, curiousity got the best of me and I went to eBay to see how much they were going for. I didn't actually intend to buy one, since I've spent way too much money lately anyway. But, I found one going to pretty cheap and just put in a bid. I figured I'd be instantly outbid and that would be the end of it. Well, I won the auction. I'm excited about my new phone, but also wondering what in the world possessed me to bid in the first place. Such is life... I'll sell my current phone on eBay to recoup some of the cost, and the rest I'll just win in Vegas.

Have I mentioned I'm going to Vegas the day after tomorrow? Have I mentioned how excited I am about it?

I did something completely ridiculous.

2005-09-30T17:00:00-07:00

Afterwards, I went out with Fabish to do some catching up, then over to Alan's to hang out with Emily and Dave for a bit.

Have I mentioned I'm going to Vegas the day after tomorrow? Have I mentioned how excited I am about it?

Viva Las Vegas

2005-10-06T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, Vegas, how I'll miss you. Here's a recap of the best vacation ever taken. I'll skip the plane ride nonsense, because that's always boring.

We got to the MGM Grand around 11:30 on our birthday. Ho. Ly. Shit. I knew it was mind-blowingly large and ornate, but I hadn't braced myself for how huge and beautiful and bright it was. After a quick lunch, Angie and I wandered aimlessly around a few of the closest hotel casinos, doing nothing in particular. We had dinner reservations at Top of the World restaurant in the Stratosphere at 7, so we went back to the room early to get a little rest and get ready for our big night.

The Stratosphere was absolutely insane. We were a hundred and some floors up in a rotating restaurant that had a beautiful view of a beautiful city. And it was our birthday. The meal was really expensive, but completely worth it. I can't ever remember food tasting so good (with the exception of Hoops pizza and everything on the menu at Kouri's). Afterwards we headed to the outdoor observation deck and went on a ride called The Insanity, which was basically one of those swing rides where you go in a circle. The difference was that this swing ride was connected to a large arm that swung you outside of the Stratosphere roof, so there you are swinging in circles 1000 feet above the Vegas strip with nothing underneath you. It was incredible.

Afterwards we walked to The Sahara, where I managed to stretch my incredible gambling luck and came out ahead on the whole evening. My proudest moment was telling Angie I would quit video poker in 2 more hands, than hit a Royal Flush 2 hands later that won me just over $100.

The next morning wasn't so lucky for me. While Angie got ready, I decided to try my luck at the Blackjack tables at our hotel. Long story short, I lost $40 almost instantly. When I say almost instantly, I mean within 5 or 6 minutes at the most. I didn't win even one hand before my $40 was nothing but a memory. I wasted another $20 on slots before Angie was ready for our trip down the strip. We just walked down the strip, seeing the sights and stopping in virtually every casino on the way. There was incredibly fancy ones followed by incredibly trashy ones followed by a lot of McDonald's and a surprising amount of Denny's. From the top of the strip to the bottom and all the way back, plus all the walking we did in the casinos, I wouldn't be surprised if we walked 10 or 12 miles that day. I consider myself in reasonable shape, and will often run 4 miles then take my dog on a 3 mile walk immediately after without a hard time, but man... my feet and legs were aching after all this walking. We finally arrived back in the MGM, where we got ready for our fancy show that night.

Before the show, we tried to make it into Coyote Ugly, but it was too crowded with a line at the door. Instead we played some Roulette where we actually came out ahead, believe it or not. We stopped when it was time to go see KA, which is the new Cirque du Soliel. I'll be honest, I thought the show would be girly and silly and uninteresting. It was far from it. It was fascinating and amazing. That's the only way I can describe it. I couldn't take my eyes off the stage. I could never do it justice by describing it, so I'll stop here, but it was simply amazing. The show ended at 12:30, and while part of me wanted to play some slots and gamble a little more, the majority of me just wanted some sleep. So we went to bed.

After a very nice, long night of sleep, we did some more walking on the strip and a little more gambling. That night was a show called Hypnolarious, with a comedian hypnotist. She went into the audience to grab people for the show, and she stopped at our table. Yeah, I went up on stage. She tried her damndest to hypnotize me and the other 9 or 10 people up there. I was just trying no to laugh. At one point she told us to imagine helium balloons on our wrists that were raising our arms up in the air. I didn't raise my arms. Some assistant or something started rubbing the back of my arms to encourage me or something, but I didn't budge. She sent me and a few others away before the actual show started.

The show was funny, but I got most of my amusement from one of the "performers", only because Angie got to talk to his newlywed wife as we were both on stage. The poor dude hadn't slept in 72 hours and would have done pretty much anything she asked. And he did. At one point he gave me a lap dance.

After the show was more gambling. We tried to catch the Pirate show, but the windy weather put a stop to that. Same with the water show at the Bellagio. We hit Fremont Street just in time for the last laser show, and hung out there drinking beer out of footballs. Or at least that's what I did.

We were leaving the next day, but had some time to kill before our plane left at 4:20. We killed that time mostly by just walking around. By this point, my gambling had lost me a few hundred bucks and I wasn't feeling quite as good about my luck as when we arrived. It was nice having that first part of the day to wind down and prepare for the plane ride rather than wake up early and have a rushed trip to the airport.

And now I'm home.

Viva Las Vegas

2005-10-06T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, Vegas, how I'll miss you. Here's a recap of the best vacation ever taken. I'll skip the plane ride nonsense, because that's always boring.

And now I'm home.

GB-PVR box, round 2.

2005-10-17T17:00:00-07:00

Installation was a breeze, but to be honest, this project has been more of an uphill battle than I expected it to be.

Since this will be a replacement for my DVR and not a "real" computer, I had to have a remote control. I bought one on eBay for $40. It was a Windows Media Center remote which GB-PVR claimed it supported directly. It didn't. I had to get a program called HIP to interpret my remote commands and translate them into keystrokes so that GB-PVR would do its thing. It worked, but not well. One hit on the remote, GB-PVR would interpret as 2 taps. So by pressing "Channel up", I actually went up 2 channels. I had to uninstall the Windows drivers for the remote and reinstall the HIP drivers, which solved that problem.

When I run a downloaded video from my video library, sometimes the video will need to grab external codecs or run a 3rd party application to run the video. This causes the GB-PVR window to lose focus, which makes my remote not work. My workaround at the moment isn't very graceful, so I'll not bother posting it until I have one that's a little less tacky that my current technique.

My little 20 gig drive filled up VERY quickly. With 5 or 6 gigs remaining on the drive, the system became very unstable. GB-PVR would crash constantly at the most annoying of times, would take forever to reboot, and was a constant headache. Luckily my neighbor came to my rescue with a 120 gig SATA drive with a RAID control card he'd be willing to let go for free, since he couldn't make it work. I managed to get it working okay, leaving me with a fast system that has plenty of room to record shows.

Speaking of recording shows, I'll be honest... medium quality recordings look like garbage. They look like a bad, 3rd rate bootleg VHS recording. I switched my recordings to high quality, which looks fantastic! Unfortunately, it means a 30 minute recording takes a gig and a half of space on my drive. This means the drive would hold about 40 hours worth of video on high quality. Not bad, but also not great. Luckily GB-PVR has settings to automatically recompress the video into different formats, such as DivX, XviD, and WMV, to substantially save on space. Unfortunately, I couldn't get this feature to work, although admittadley, I haven't tried too hard. Since my card is encoding into MPEG2 directly, it means outputting to DVD is a breeze. Transcoding into XviD means that outputting to DVD will require me to re-encode into MPEG2. But on the other hand, I don't think I'll do that very often. This DVR project is mostly for myself, so burning things as XviD or DivX will work just fine for my personal uses. It won't be as transportable as a standard DVD, but thems the breaks. I figure the benefits of transcoding outweigh the fact that I can't burn directly to DVD. Although this means very little since I can't get transcoding to work anyway.

Anyway, the system right now is very stable and most of the bugs have been worked out. I'd like to get transcoding working, but for now, this system works great for me. Now my complaints, as a guy coming from a Dish DVR.

No resume. That is, when watching a recording program, if I stop in the middle, there is no option to "resume". I have to start from the beginning and fast-forward to get where I want to be. Not a huge deal, but I actually did use that feature quite often on my Dish DVR.

The fast-forward and rewind friggin' suck. The author of GB-PVR even admits this. As a standard fast-forward, it works about 20% of the time. The other percent, by pressing fast-forward I either stop the video completely or lose audio when I hit play. The author has installed a "short skip" option for fast forward, which skips 10 seconds every time you hit the button. This is great for fast forwarding 5 or 6 minutes. Miserable for 1 or 2 hours.

No chapter skipping in the DVD player from what I've noticed. Sure, you can simply use the DVD menu to skip chapters, but it would have been a nice feature.

The GB-PVR beats out the Dish DVR by a long shot because of the commercial skip. So far, it's completely flawless. Every once in a while, I'll see a fraction of a second of commercial before my show resumes, but not often. More often than not, I hear "Stay tuned! And we're back!" with only a frame or 2 of black space between the 2. Awesome.

It also wins because of the "all in one" package. With the same box, I can watch TV, recorded programs, downloaded programs, rip DVDs, check the weather, check movie times, listen to MP3s, listen to net radio, listen to FM radio, and burn DVDs. 3rd party authors are always creating plugins for the app, which allow for things like downloading movie trailers from Apple's website.

Overall, I'm very happy with this program and all its features. I need to work out the transcoding bug, and this box will be perfect for my uses. More to come...

Long time, no post

2005-10-17T17:00:00-07:00

Hey, readers. It's been a while. I'd apologize for my poor posting skills, but on the other hand I don't feel bad about my absence. I'm torn.

Things have been good on my end. Since returning from Vegas, my schedule has been pretty packed with all sorts of fun stuff, including but not limited to a birthday celebration with Angie's family, bartending at a benefit dinner, installing 11 new windows in my house, finishing up and launching my company's website, the regular Friday night dinner with the gang, a cookout at Mullens', a cookout at my sister's, and working on my home-brew DVR. It's odd that when I don't update this thing every once in a while, I tend to forget everything and all the events in my life blur together. I should try harder to remember stuff.

Anyway, yeah, I installed new replacement windows throughout my house. The job wasn't as bad or long as I expected, and the house looks roughly 2,000 times better inside and out. The expected prices of heat this winter are scary, and I figure the windows will help out just a bit. My old ones were 70 years old, shook when the wind blew, had panes broken or cracked, and provided only the slightest bit of protection from the elements. My new ones are better.

I'm really looking forward to eating wings with my dawg Polk tomorrow night.

Oh, and for the nerds in the crowd reading this via LJ instead of my personal site, you may want to head to my personal site in a few minutes to see my updated GBPVR project status.

Long time, no post

2005-10-17T17:00:00-07:00

Hey, readers. It's been a while. I'd apologize for my poor posting skills, but on the other hand I don't feel bad about my absence. I'm torn.

I'm really looking forward to eating wings with my dawg Polk tomorrow night.

Oh, and for the nerds in the crowd reading this via LJ instead of my personal site, you may want to head to my personal site in a few minutes to see my updated GBPVR project status.

Con artist, wings, and disappointment.

2005-10-19T17:00:00-07:00

So last night was Polk and I boy's night out, so I was surprised to see Randy Toy already at Buffalo Wild Wings when I got there. Dave, Kristi, and Brandon showed up later. They left early so Polk and I could get our man-talk on over PBRs.

Ah, but first was the con artist. I thought my years in Chicago fending them off made me immune to their ploys, but this guy took me right in. He asked me to jump his car for him, which I gladly agreed to do after I finished pumping my gas. His car magically moved from the parking lot to a block away to 7 or 8 blocks away as I tried to drive him back to it. Then he launched into a spiel about his children and a leaky gas tank and needing some cash to get enough gas to get home. I felt like such a sucker, but after refusing to give him any of my money I gave him sort of a hard time about his efforts, asking about his children and how he felt leaving them alone in a broken car as I dropped him off at AutoZone instead of his car so he could con more people. I suspect by the end he knew I was on to him, although I played it pretty sincerely. On his way out of my car, he asked one more time for money. Anything I had. I directed him to my change tray which held $.18. He took a dime, but left the pennies. It seemed like a lot of work and time spent for a dime, but who am I to judge?

Anyway, I feel it necessary to adjust my theory about not changing people, just your reaction to people. While that is an important skill to have, it's also necessary to take a stand sometimes and tell people not to act in ways to treat you in ways you feel are inappropriate. I didn't used to have a hard time with this concept, but as I've gotten older its harder for me to be confrontational and let people know when I'm upset. I shouldn't always have to simply talk my way out of being angry. Sometimes I deserve an apology and a promise it won't happen again. And that's that.

Con artist, wings, and disappointment.

2005-10-19T17:00:00-07:00

Anyway, I feel it necessary to adjust mytheory about not changing people, just your reaction to people. While that is an important skill to have, it's also necessary to take a stand sometimes and tell people not to act in ways to treat you in ways you feel are inappropriate. I didn't used to have a hard time with this concept, but as I've gotten older its harder for me to be confrontational and let people know when I'm upset. I shouldn't always have to simply talk my way out of being angry. Sometimes I deserve an apology and a promise it won't happen again. And that's that.

Conceeding

2005-10-23T17:00:00-07:00

I've conceeded. I've admitted defeat. I've accepted failure. I'm going to have credit card debt either my entire life, or until I get married. That's just a fact of life now, and there's no need any more to adjust my life in a futile effort to pay back my creditors. I thought I'd be out by now, but every time I get close, something hits me that puts me right back in debt. Such is life. My newest necessary purchase was a flat screen monitor to replace my old one that's been on its last legs for a while now.

Speaking of which, I had to conceed on that purchase as well. After price checking at Circuit City, American, and a few local computer shops, the cheapest flat screen monitor I could find was at (and I'm ashamed to admit it) Best Fucking Buy. If it was only cheaper by $10 or $20, I would have kept my ban on the company. But it was $60 cheaper. For $60, I didn't have much of a choice but to shop there. It wasn't as unpleasant as I expected. It was my first purchase there in 3 or 4 years. It'll be my last until I can help it, as well.

The rest of the weekend was good too. Angie and I went to East Peoria getting lost on the new 74 on the way for dinner at Texas Roadhouse. It was way too crowded, so we walked next door to Chili's instead. Then we saw the 40 Year Old Virgin.

The next day I just ran errands and cleaned some stuff and other normal Saturday stuff. I didn't do much of anything that night, either. Sunday I ate lunch with my parents, then went bowling with Angie. Later in the day I helped a buddy move some furniture with some help from other buddies, then went to The Burger Barge to celebrate the fact that we just moved a lot of heavy stuff.

Conceeding

2005-10-23T17:00:00-07:00

The big 5. Half decade.

2005-10-26T17:00:00-07:00

Well. Here it is. I know everyone was on the edge of their seats, all like "it's a few days past Tim's fifth LJ anniversary without a huge, rambling post about what the year has presented and etc." Well, wait no more, my dear readers.

This year has been a fantastic year. A lot of ups, not a lot of downs. It's all a boy can ask for, really.

About this time last year, I was single and as happy as I've ever been. Alan was preparing to move next door, I was rejoicing in my new found single freedom and the clarity that came with it, spending a lot of time with friends and family.

The year has gotten nothing but better as time has marched on. Angie and I made the leap from "friends" to "more than friends", applying that generic "dating" title that somewhere along the line transformed into "boyfriend/girlfriend". Without getting overly mushy and silly about it, I will say that the transistion is probably one of the best things I've ever done for myself. It's been great, despite our reservations about everything.

And with that, kids, an important announcement. 5 years is plenty long enough to maintain this LJ, and I'll be ceasing and desisting starting immediately after posting this here message. But fear not, dear LJers. My account will stay active so that I can read everyone's entries on my handy friends page, and comment almost as much as I comment now (which is to say, not at all). Also, I'll keep up with my blogging duties through my site, tim.cx. Why, you ask? Well, I need some motivation to finish projects I start, and this will be my motivation. The PHP/database behind tim.cx was written almost entirely from scratch by yours truly, and I need to complete it. Part of the completion includes an LJ importer, to take all my LJ posts into my own site.

But I'm treading into geekery here, which I feel a bit guilty for in LJ land. In any case, I need to finish tim.cx and release its source code to the world for the world at large to do whatever they choose to do with it. That was always my intention, and I haven't touched the code in months now.

I'm also going to extend an overly friendly offer to anyone reading this, whether I know you in real life or not. If you'd like to migrate away from LJ and into tim.cx, let me know and I'll hooks you up with the code on my own server as a bit of added motivation/beta testing. You can still post to LJ using the interface I've made, although its not as pretty as LJ's. Anyway, if you're interested, let me know. Hopefully everyone will keep up with my silly stories/geekery/whatever else on tim.cx, but if not, no hard feelings and all that jazz.

GB-PVR box, round 3.

2005-10-26T17:00:00-07:00

Silly me for not noticing the "Enable Resume Prompt" option in the config options of GB-PVR. That little check box enabled the main thing I missed from my Dish DVR. TV shows and videos can now be stopped and started right where I left off. Sweet.

Transcoding into WMV finally worked. I don't know why exactly, since I didn't change any settings or do anything differently. One day it didn't work, the next it did. I'm not questioning it for now. It changed a 1.5 gig file into a 320 meg file with only a slight change in video quality. Since I was looking for it, I could see the compression "blocks", but it wasn't distracting. If I didn't know what I was looking for, I wouldn't have even seen them.

I've now ditched my Dish DVR and have moved to GB-PVR exclusively. I love the system. Don't consider this project done yet, however. I still need to build a fancy box for the set up, install some plug-ins, and then build another front end for my other TV and network them together. This will be the fun stuff.

It feels a

2005-10-31T17:00:00-07:00

It feels a little different to update only tim.cx and not LJ at the same time, but I'll get used to it.

The weekend was good. On Friday Angie and I hit a haunted house for the first time in way too many years. If it hadn't been free, I probably wouldn't have bothered, but it was fun. The highlight was the kids in front of me getting so scared they had to cover their ears and shout "this little light of mine" at the top of their lungs to calm themselves down a bit.

Saturday we babysat my little nephews, then headed back into town. I headed over to Alan's to hang out for a bit before heading downtown for the first time in a long, long time. Probably since July. I partied like a rock star while watching Mike and Joe, and was out until hours past my bed time.

I woke up early on Sunday to head out to Hanna City to watch a couple of baptisms. I spent the rest of the day just sitting around and recovering from the night before.

Last night was Halloween, so I just hung out at Alan's and passed out candy and watched horror movies. I was amazed at the number of kids we got. I think the last 2 years combined I maybe had 10 total. This year we probably had 30 or 40 in different degrees of dress. A few kids too old with no costumes as well. I'll admit that when I was 15 or 16, I was one of those too-old kids who went house to house collecting candy. At least I had a sense of humor about it though, and knew what I was doing was a tad silly. One kid, probably 15 or 16, just knocked on the door and refused to say "trick or treat" or anything fun. I asked what he was supposed to be, and he looked at me like I was retarded and said "uh... MYSELF." I told him that was a shitty costume and he only got 1 piece of candy for it. Punk kids.

Signing my life away.

2005-11-03T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I went and did it. We did our usual Thursday happy-after-work fun, and got on the subject of running and marathons and a bunch of stuff. Under the influence of a couple of cheap Coors Lights, the inspiration of a marathon runner, and a slightly cocky attitude, I signed a make-shift contract on a crumpled dollar bill to run my first ever marathon in April. Truth be told, I'm in decent enough shape and shouldn't have too hard a time preparing for it. Still, there's something very intimidating about getting ready to run 26.2 miles. That seems like a very long way. Well, let's be honest, that's a REALLY long way.

This weekend will be a busy, mad rush of tons of fun if all my plans pan out. I may have time for a couple nerd/PHP/mySQL/GB-PVR posts too. Exciting.

Have I mentioned

2005-11-06T17:00:00-07:00

Have I mentioned I'm on a bowling league? Because I am, and we start tonight, and I'm totally pumped for it. I spent the weekend in silent anticipation for today and my bowling league debut.

Friday my long-lost best friend Fabish called with a night off from the wife and kid. We hit Sully's happy hour, just like old times. The beer was a little more expensive and free wings had been replaced with free pizza and cheap wings, but it was still a great and cheap dinner. Afterwards we headed back to his house for beer bought from Aldi's and some Dateline NBC. I was in bed pretty early.

Saturday I cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned some more. I finished up just as Angie picked me up to head to Texas Road House to eat for free with her parents. After dinner, we hit Kelleher's for a couple of beers with Brian and his new wife.

The ride home was one of the scariest moments of my life. It was Saturday night at prime go-out time and there was a torrential downpour going on. Not normally a big deal, except that drunk bar-goers were dashing into the streets against the lights to get out of the rain, which made me slam on my brakes on several occassions to stop from killing someone. Yeah, it happened multiple times as I made my way out of downtown. I turned into one of those drivers I hate who was going half the speedlimit, washers on high, hunched over the steering wheel and driving overly paranoid like. I managed to get out of town without killing anyone. At least I think I did.

Anyway, after that adventure we just watched some Lost. It was pretty much the perfect night. I'd say perfect day, except that I spent so much of it cleaning.

Sunday I tried, and failed, at fixing Angie's Dad's computer, then went out to eat with my parents and spent the rest of the day lounging around and working on my GB-PVR box.

SPAM! Glorious SPAM!

2005-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

I can't believe it! I'm writing a new feature for tim.cx to display the latest comments on the site, and in the process stumbled across several gems like the comments to this photo right here. Normally I'd be furious, but I'm just excited that someone is visiting. I supposed I should write something to stop automated spambots like that, but for now I just get a kick out of it. Spam me, baby.

Welcome back to high school, jerks.

2005-11-09T17:00:00-07:00

Boyz night out with Polk last night was fantastic. Less fantastic is that I've spent the last 3 nights between work and pitch black darkness vacuuming leaves, blowing leaves, raking leaves, kicking leaves, and sometimes yelling at leaves. I have a very small yard with 2 very leafy trees. The cleaning process is ridiculous.

Bowling Monday was good, except that I lost to Angie. Twice. In a row. Humiliating.

Well. That was a weekend.

2005-11-14T17:00:00-07:00

Yep. Quite a weekend indeed.

I skipped out on all Friday night festivities and went to bed early, bracing myself for a long Saturday of removing an old furnace and installing a new one. Angie's dad did the majority of the work and all the hard stuff, while I did the grunt work which included, but was not limited to, drilling holes in my house (tearing up the siding in the process), mounting new electrical boxes, stripping wires, re-wiring some stuff, yadda yadda yadda etc etc etc. 8 long hours later, I had replaced my 30-year old behemoth of an inefficient piece of crap furnace with a newer, nicer, and hopefully lower-cost (in the long run) version. I finished just in time to prepare for a wedding reception. I went up to the shower only to find it didn't work. In the process of removing my house humidifier and water softener, something had gotten botched.

I packed up some necessities and headed next door to Alan's to shower there. I relaxed for all of about 15 minutes before heading to the wedding reception, where I was until about 12:30. I went to be early since I knew I had a baptism to go to the next day. I went to bed realizing I couldn't wash any clothes that needed it, due to my botched job with the plumbing. I woke up early in the hopes to hit the hardware store quickly to get the parts to fix my water situation. I fixed it without too much trouble, just in time to shower and shave. As I Febreezed my clothes from the night before to recycle them for the baptism, I realized I was in a terrible mood from the non-stop, nothing-going-right weekend that had been happening so far. I had just used the last of the hot water during my shower and couldn't figure out why it wasn't heating back up. I couldn't keep my mind off how this whole weekend, I'd been forced to do crap I didn't really want to do. I got into one of my funks that I can't talk myself out of. I'm usually really good at realizing that I don't have anyone to be mad at, but nothing I was doing seemed to be making me feel better.

So, I did what any mopey guy would do. I ordered a pizza. I watched a lot of TV. I didn't move from my couch for about 7 hours, when I met Mullens and Andy for a beer.

So here's some lessons I learned in retrospect.

Sure, waking up early on my weekend sucks, and its something I don't ever like doing. But I'm incredibly fortunate to have Angie's dad who volunteered to help me, saving me a bundle and teaching me good lessons about how things in my house work.
Going to weddings of people I don't know kind of sucks, but I'm really lucky to have Angie and have her want me at things like that. And I really do like Angie's friends.
Having crap like hot water break around the house really sucks, but I'm fortunate my dad taught me at a young age how to fix stuff on my own. And if I don't know how, he's given me the confidence to at least TRY. And, if all else fails, I can call him to show me the way.
Having my shower not have hot water before a wedding I have to prepare for really sucked, but I'm really fortunate to have a really good friend right next door who didn't complain a bit when I had to take over his bathroom for a bit.

Anyway, long story short, there was a good lesson to be learned in all the bad stuff that happened this weekend. I'm usually good at seeing them, but this weekend I kind of messed up at that whole deal. Still, my mood has certainly improved, and I've apologized to the people who got the brunt of my moodiness on Saturday and Sunday, and hopefully that kind of deal won't happen again for a long time.

Running in the cold

2005-11-17T17:00:00-07:00

Well, my first marathon is in about 4 and a half months, and I'll be training for it during the winter months. It'll be tough. I'm not good at hot weather running, and I'm guessing I'll be no better at cold weather running. Which isn't to say I haven't tried... I got a cheap sweat-suit and went on my way, figuring I'd only really be cold for the first part of the run.

The sweat suit was entirely ridiculous. I started off freezing cold and about 2 miles in was sweating up a storm. The cold weather made me freezing, despite my sweat. It was an awful, long, and miserable run. I knew better than to run with cotton on in the summer, but thought it was acceptable in the winter. I was wrong.

I went to Wal-Mart to invest in some cold-weather running gear. I'm not a serious enough runner to spend a ton of money at a running-specific store (for anything but my shoes), hence, Wal-Mart. I picked up a long sleeve, mock turtle neck body armor wicking shirt to wear under my sweatshirt, a nice hat, nice gloves, and insulated running pants.

Wow. What a difference it made.

I was never overly cold, but I was also never overly hot. The wicking shirt kept me nice and warm and got the sweat off me as I sweated, keeping me perfectly comfortable in 20 degree weather. The pants could have been a little tighter, since the only truly uncomfortable moments I had were when the wind blew up the pant legs.

I did 4.3 miles in this gear and was perfectly comfortable for the entire run. I'm sure I'll need to make some adjustments when it comes to 0 degree and colder weather, but so far I'm happy with the $40 I spent keeping myself warm on my runs.

I'm sticking with 4-6 mile runs until January, when I really kick it up and start going longer and longer on the weekends.

Turkey Trot run

2005-11-20T17:00:00-07:00

So, I didn't do so well here, but I did a lot better than I expected. The 4 mile race was uphill a lot of the way, and the hill wasn't what I would call "small". The race took a lot out of me, and my legs and back are hurtin' pretty bad today. I'm blaming all the hurt on the hills, since I run 4 miles a day a few times a week without this kind of hurt afterwards.

I averaged better than 9 minute miles. Not bad considering the terrain. I wished more people had participated so I wouldn't have been so close to the back of the pack, but oh well.

Weekend

2005-11-20T17:00:00-07:00

Friday night Angie and I hit the town, eating at Ned Kelly's and seeing Flightplan. Flightplan was acceptable, but nothing great. I may watch it again if its on TBS late at night and I can't sleep, but otherwise, probably not. I went to bed early, since for the 2nd weekend in a row I had to wake up early to install heating/cooling equipment in my house.

Got that done pretty quickly and had the entire afternoon to do nothing. I had to go out to my parents' house that night for some dinner with some relatives in from Missouri. Later that night I hung out at Alan's house for a bit, then watched a few episodes of Lost with Angie.

Sunday I went out to my parents' again for an early Thanksgiving thing, followed by the race, followed by going back out to my parents' house for more lunch. The rest of the night I just watched TV and tried not to fall asleep.

Turkey Day

2005-11-28T17:00:00-07:00

My entire 4 day break from work for Thanksgiving was spent somewhere between 25% and 75% sick the entire time. I had a different symptom every day, it seemed. One day, I had a cough and sore throat. The next, headache and stuffed up nose. I kept myself full of orange juice and vitamin pills and fought off the worst of it. I'm now fully recovered, although break out a horrible sounding liquidy cough every once in a while. My coworkers love it.

Still, despite the sickiness of it, I managed to have some good times during my break. Dinner with Polk on Wednesday, getting to see Brynn later that night, lunch with the family the next day, dinner with Angie's family on Thanksgiving, dinner at Kouri's somewhere in there, and Sunday I barely left my couch, which was a perfect way to end the weekend.

secret weekend

2005-12-04T17:00:00-07:00

I kicked off my secret weekend by totally nerding out for the majority of the day on Friday. I bought a new huge hard drive for my computer and got it up and running and transferred all my junk from my old drives onto it. In the process, I found a bunch of stuff from my college and high school days that has been transferred from computer to computer and hard drive to hard drive for many years that I thought was gone forever, including pictures of Jack's first birthday and many from when I lived down by Bradley. I also found funny and/or depressing IM conversations I decided to save for some reason from back when I actually used to use IM. The plan for now is to get all the crap off my laptop and try to install OSX86 on it. We'll see how that works out.

Anyway, that night Angie and I took in an episode or 2 of Lost and some Jackass reruns.

Saturday was the Jingle Bell Run where I came in at 8 and a half minute miles. Not too bad, but I was off my goal by a tad. I'm blaming it on the cold weather, the icy path, and the fact that both my shoelaces came untied during the race. The rest of the day was spent doing secret activities I can't discuss here.

Sunday was more of the same secret stuff. While I can't say exactly what it is that I'm doing on those days, I can tell you that its going very well. How's that for cryptic?

I've resigned to

2005-12-11T17:00:00-07:00

I've resigned to the fact that my life will be at a constant state of "doing stuff" until after the holidays. For a guy who hates doing stuff as much as I do, its a hard pill to swallow. I'm having fun, but I'm also really looking forward to laying on my couch watching TV for a night without feeling like I'm missing something.

This weekend I went to a bowling party with a bunch of 4-6 year olds, had a turkey fry, cut down a Christmas tree, and had some pizza out in Farmington while sort of watching a football game. Pictures will be coming soon. Maybe.

Unofficial Start

2005-12-17T17:00:00-07:00

Well, today we unofficially started marathon training. I met a fellow runner up in the Heights to prepare for our first 8 mile run the first weekend in January. We set our goal at 6 miles.

In the end, we did 6.4 miles in 1:04. That's just under ten minute miles, which is pretty good considering I kept the clock ticking during our 3 short breath-catching breaks. Next weekend, we'll probably do the same 6.4 or 7 miles, then begins the "official" training.

Since training for the marathon is going to take a lot of hard work and dedication, I'm considering taking January - April as my discipline testing training grounds. I've already ruled out any kind of fast food during this time, and am thinking about what other rules I could set for myself. No drinking? Well, except for Super Bowl Sunday and St. Patick's Day of course. Eating out only once per week? Protein shakes for breakfast and lunch? 1 hour of exercise every day? I'm still considering the rules I'm planning for myself, but I think its a good opportunity to see how strong my will is and how much self control I have.

Jack Pukes, Peter Mocks.

2005-12-21T17:00:00-07:00

Last night was my dad's birthday celebration dinner where my mom made tacos. Jack was complaining of a sick belly, but complaining in such a way as to make us believe he just wanted to leave the table to watch TV. My sister had him eat some cottage cheese before dismissing him from the table. He stood up and promptly vomitted all over my parents' newly refinished hardwood floors. But that's only half the story.

As my sister and dad scrubbed the floor, little Peter stood there looking shocked, unable to take his eyes away from the mess that had escaped from his older brother's mouth. My sister said something like "Peter, what happened?", to which Peter replied by hunching over slightly, opening his mouth, and sticking out his tongue, exactly how Jack had just expelled his dinner. I proceeded to laugh so hard I thought I was going to puke myself. Peter looked proud of himself for making everyone laugh, and just kept fake-puking over and over and over. I have some cool nephews.

Christmas

2005-12-26T17:00:00-07:00

I had a blast all day on Christmas. I'll be honest here for a second, which is a departure for this little blog. I didn't think I'd have a good time running all over the place and seeing everyone under the moon in a day... something I haven't done since I was a kid and didn't really have any desire to do. But I had a good time. I also made quite a haul, getting a bunch of shirts, a new video iPod to replace my ancient 20 gig from last Christmas, a crocheted blanket made by my completely sweet and awesome girlfriend, a bunch of books on wood working and home improvement, some marathon training books and clothes, bowling shoes, a mini-keg of beer, a router, and a ton of stuff I'm sure I'm forgetting. As always, pics are coming soon.

Ouch.

2005-12-26T17:00:00-07:00

Well, unofficial marathon training continues. This weekend I subjected myself to a 8 mile run, which wasn't a huge stretch over the 6.5 I did the week before. The stretch was completing the run in almost the same amount of time, improving my per-mile time by 40 seconds! That's completely insane. I spent the next 2 days complaining about my sore legs, and sore feet. Perhaps I overdid it early in the training, but I have no intentions of stopping either. I've only got 3 months to prepare for this thing... no sense wasting time complaining about sore muscles. Just gotta keep on keepin' on. Starting with the official training, I'm also cutting out fast food, beer except on special occassions, and trying that 6 small meals per day thing. It'll be a rough 3 months.

2006 - This is my year.

2006-01-02T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, ringing in the new year. A fresh start. A new beginning. Its a time to plan your goals and start your resolutions and get one step closer to being that guy or girl you want to be. My resolutions are pretty simple, really. Run a marathon, finish more projects I start, and try to be a better person to everyone in my life, because most of them deserve it.

Anyway, 2006 was rung in by eating dinner with the Mullenses then going to Alan's party at his house. Good times were had, many beers drank, many stories told, and just an all-around fantastic night. The rest of the weekend was spent doing nothing in particular, outside of an 8 mile run, some little chores and errands, and a bunch of movie-watching. Hope everyone's new year was splendid.

new design

2006-01-03T17:00:00-07:00

Well, the first big obstacle in my way to making tim.cx source code fully distributible has been tackled now. That is, elminating the "mess" of the code and making it rely heavily (that is, hugely heavily) on 1 style sheet. If you view the source code of this site, you'll see no (well, some that will soon be deleted) tables, and not even an image tag unless I could absolutely not help it. It all relies on a style sheet, which can be updated to change the look of the entire site all at once with no tinkering of the PHP. It was a major hurdle for a PHP/CSS newbie, but I managed.

Also, I noticed I never get comments. Ever. So I've made the process easier for everyone, using some javascript to simply hide the comment form that can be revealed with a click of the clink. No extra pages to load or hassles or excuses. Just fill out the form (you don't even have to enter a name or email address if you don't want to) and hit submit. Easy as pie.

In the next few days, I'm going to be reformatting some of the "secondary" pages, like the comment added page and login/registration pages. In the meantime, I'd appreciate getting some comments to see if everything is getting posted/displayed correctly. Even if you don't have anything interesting to say, a comment would be appreciated (as I say to my 0 readers).

Setting the goal, raising the bar.

2006-01-08T17:00:00-07:00

My dad once told me that when people say they want to do something, they don't actually want to do it. They want to have done it. For example, a writer will say they want to write a book, but they don't mean that. What they mean is that they want to have already written a book. They want the hard part of it to be done already. Well, I guess the same could be said for my marathon training. I don't actually want to run a marathon, train for months, and watch what I eat at every meal. I want to have already done it, gotten the bragging rights and the physical fitness that comes along with it, and be part of that elite "marathon runner" group that not many people belong to.

But alas, this marathon is a committment I've made to myself and a few other people. The shoes are bought, the race registered, the hotel reserved. I could turn back, but I won't. I'll get 'er done and run my race.

That said, I had a really discouraging run on Saturday. It was bright and early, and I woke up a whopping 10 minutes before starting the run with a group of guys who are a lot more advanced runners than me. A little more than 8 miles, and I finished just 4 seconds per mile faster than when I did it on my own. I attribute my bad time to poor eating before the run (which is to say, I didn't eat at all), waking up early (I'm used to evening/afternoon runs), and trying to keep up with the other guys even though they were running 1 minute per mile faster than my usual pace. I hung tight for a little more than 5 miles before REALLY falling behind.

Anyway, the diet is tough but I'm getting used to it. Making my food and taking it to work is lame, but I'm saving some money and feeling healthier already, although this diet has only been going on a little more than a week so far.

I'm waiting for the painful legs and such, but so far I've been lucky enough to avoid them. My lower back was a little sore after the last long run, but I don't know is that was related, and it wasn't sore enough to slow me down any on my following runs.

I'll brace myself a little better for my run this weekend, waking up even earlier and filling my belly with some sort of fuel before the actual run. That'll help.

I don't know

2006-01-17T17:00:00-07:00

I don't know if I can apologize enough for lack of updates here. I've been busy with the girl, with my friends, with my house, my dog, my projects, my running. I really can't wait until this silly marathon training is done and my life can go back to normal as far as my eating/exercise regimen goes.

I did something this weekend I haven't done since my days in Chicago when I had no friends... I saw a movie alone. That's right. Drove to the theater, bought my ticket and soda, and watched a movie without anyone else there. My friends I've mentioned this to think I'm weird and antisocial for this, but I don't see the big deal. I wanted to see Hostel. I called a few people and got little to no interest, no answer, or other plans. So I went alone.

Anyway, Hostel was pretty good, but was a standard gross-out horror that I'm just not into these days. The first 45 minutes was just a set-up with poor characterization, waiting for something to happen. It was similar to Psycho or The Shining, only not done nearly as well with characters not nearly as likeable. The horror wasn't really scary, just gross. Still, I enjoyed it, and I know no one else I could have called would have liked it. I keep reading articles and such about how slasher flicks are making a comeback, but I don't see it. I wish they would. Friday the 13th is my favorite series and is just mindless slashing. Hostel wasn't slasher... it was gross out.

There was a preview for The Hills Have Eyes (also not a slasher), which I'm really looking forward to. Although, c'mon Hollywood, let's make a NEW movie instead of a remake. There's been too many horror remakes these days.

my leg is freaking killing me.

2006-01-23T17:00:00-07:00

So, marathon training rolls on. I'm doing pretty well, keeping up with the schedule and getting my running time in and all that fun stuff. My left leg started hurting a bit the other day, and against my better judgement I went ahead and ran 12 miles on it. Now its hurting really bad.

Still, I can't afford to take any time off or wait for it to recover. I am doing a little more cross training on my recumbant bike than my schedule allows, but for the most part I'm just popping aspirin and running on a really sore leg. Remarkably, it stops hurting just a bit into my run, but I pay the price for it the next morning. I've done some research into the problem, and I don't think I'm causing any permanent damage. Just a bit of discomfort. Which is the main point of marathon training, it seems.

The (literal) Agony of Defeat

2006-02-07T17:00:00-07:00

It's no secret. I complain constantly about my hurt leg, the shin splints nonsense, and what I'm doing to work my way through the pain. Some massaging, some stretching, some hot baths. It helped a bit, and when I ran it only hurt for the first few hundred feet. I had made up my mind to work through the pain, cross my fingers that it would improve, and just keep on keepin' on. Until last night.

I started off on my 4 miles. It hurt more than ever in the first few hundred feet and never stopped hurting. I slowed down, and altered the way I was running to relieve some of the pain. The result was a very slow but strenuous run in which I tried my best to not move my ankle, since that caused the most pain. I couldn't even make it 3 miles before the pain got to be in the "unbareable" range. I walked home, miserable and defeated.

Stretching afterwards didn't help. The hot shower didn't help. The only thing that seemed to help was to lay on my couch with my feet up. Stairs are a complete monster for me now, and I walk with a slight limp. I'm pretty comfident I pushed myself too hard with shin splints and got right into "stress fracture" territory. Shin splints are usually when the muscle gets torn up from things like running 12 miles and starts to separate from the bone. Stress fractures follow since the bone has less support from the muscle and impact causes hairline fractures. The only thing you can do once that happens is stop running.

Its frustrating since I've got 2 months to the marathon, and I've got to take a month off. If it was 2 weeks away, I'd just buckle down and do it anyway. But I can't live with this for 2 months as it just gets worse and worse and worse and worse.

Anyway, I pretty much hate myself over it. I'm the type of guy who sets his mind to something and gets it done. I'm going to start looking for another marathon in the June timeframe and try again. I just hate admitting defeat. Friggin' marathon.

spammers suck.

2006-02-09T17:00:00-07:00

As my 2 regular readers have noticed, I had issues with spammers on this site. Annoying, awful problems that made me want to vomit. I finally found some time to combat these issues, and my solution is below for the geeks out there who care:
if (ereg("advertisersworld.com",$comments)
or (ereg("poker",$comments)
or (ereg("mortgage",$comments)
or (ereg("dorank",$comments)
or (ereg("viagra",$comments)
or (ereg("pharmacy",$comments)
or (ereg("ambien",$comments)
)))))))
{
echo "Due to overly rude comment spammers, I've
had to block a bunch of words that can be posted
to comments in this blog. It sucks, but such is
life. Unfortunately, your comment has been
flagged for containing one of these words,
listed below for your reference. If you'd like
to try again, click "back" and type a comment
that leaves out the word that caused this
problem. The words are:

advertisersworld.com

poker

mortgage

dorank

viage

pharmacy

ambien

Spammers are a clever bunch, so I expect
more words to be added to this list. Such
is life.";
}

The script reads each comment, and if a flagged word is sent, the comment doesn't post. While I was tinkering with the comment adding system, I've also added emailing capabilities so that I'll get emailed when a person comments, which will hopefully lead to faster response times from me. In deleting all the spam comments, some real comments got lost in the shuffle. If your comment is missing, no offense intended... just a mistake. Hopefully with less spam, people will be more apt to post comments? Maybe hopefully? Yeah?

I didn't do

2006-02-12T17:00:00-07:00

I didn't do a whole lot on Friday, if memory serves. I mostly worked on tim.cx, jackwhistle, and my new little project with camera phone stuff.

Saturday, I was incredibly productive with my web projects and house cleaning and laundry and whatnot. Angie got off work a few hours early, and we went out for dinner and over to Alan's for some card games and beer. We went downtown to see Mike and Joe and party like rock stars for a little bit until our age caught up with us and we headed home.

Sunday was a big day of nothin', outside of a few errands, a lot of website work, and not much else.

Oh yeah, I did see "When a Stranger Calls" with Wolfie on Saturday. Now I'm going to talk about horror movies for a little bit. I love horror movies. Even the horrible ones are awesome, as far as I'm concerned. But c'mon Hollywood, let's see some originality here. In the last few years, Dawn of the Dead, Amityville Horror, The Fog, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Thirteen Ghosts, and Carrie have all been remade, and I'm sure that's not the entire list. Now we can add "When a Stranger Calls" (and the up coming "The Hills Have Eyes").

I never saw the original, and don't really have interest in seeing it anymore to be honest with ya. I'd heard this was a fairly faithful remake, but played on the "new technology" aspect of it all. I'd figured this meant cell phones instead of standard phones, but through a lot of the movie the hero was using a corded phone with no Caller ID, as she had her cell phone taken away as a punishment. Finally she wisened up by getting a hold of a cordless phone with caller ID, but her plan was foiled by "Unknown Caller" messages, a failure of *69, and the killer using other dead people's phones.

And now, I'm going to totally spoil the ending since it pissed me off the most.

So, the hero of the movie fights her way out of the house and the bad guy gets caught by the cops. Throughout all their struggles inside the house, you never got a clear shot of the killer's face. It was always the back of his head, or his face was out of frame or out of focus. Kind of a neat way to shoot it, but it completly ruined it by showing a slow-motion shot of him in the police car as he pulled away. It lasted no less than 45 seconds. I thought, since it was lasting so long, that he must be someone from earlier in the flick. A teacher in her school? Nope. Not her dad, either. Or the doctor she was babysitting for. Or her cheating boyfriend. Oh, he's got a bad scar... was there any discussion of a scar earlier? No... so who the hell was that guy? Oh, right, a stranger. Hence the title. I would have been more impressed if I never saw his face.

Anyway, I didn't like this horror movie, which is rare for me. It was boring and predictable and catered far too much to the PG-13 audience. Horror should be R.

Friggin' spammers.

2006-02-13T17:00:00-07:00

I made it pretty apparent in my last tim.cx related post that my little army of blog spammers has really started to piss me off. After implementing my comment-deleting script along with the emailing-me script, I noticed the problem is more widespread than I ever anticipated. These commenting spamming robots are posting comments to blog entries from weeks and months ago. They're almost all selling medications of some sort, or texas-hold-em related crap, or rolex imitations.

PHP doesn't provide any built-in automated stopping scripts. So far I've just been adding spam-triggering code to my commenting script every night. Today I got close to 90 that slipped through the cracks in my commenting system. I guess now I patch those cracks and wait until they find another thing that gets through, huh? It's a frustrating game we're playing, but I guess this is how the blog-spamming-comment game works. I just wonder how sites like blogger and LiveJournal handle it. Probably with a little more advanced programming language than PHP, eh?

Friggin spammers, part 3

2006-02-14T17:00:00-07:00

Jesus. It's been like 3 days and I've gotten no less than 300 spam comments between my blog and pictures. I've been constantly updating the addcomment script with new keywords, only to get DIFFERENT spam to add new keywords. I decided there had to be a better way. And here's my latest solution.

In the config file, I stored an array with all the names of the products/crap the spammers are hawking.
$spamFilter = array ("advertisersworld.com","poker","mortgage","dorank",
"viagra","pharmacy","ambien","aaaahotels","network54",
"texas-hold","adipex","rolex","tamiflu","replica",
"flexeril","meridia","tramadol","cialis");

Then, in the addcomment script, it reads through the whole array. If one of the words in the array sparks the spam variable to switch to "yes", the script dies. If not, the script posts.
foreach ($spamFilter as $spamList){
if (ereg("$spamList", $comments)){
$spam = "yes";
die ("sorry, spammer");
}
else{
$spam = "no";
}
}

Then I have a simple "if ($spam="no")" bunch of code to post.

These efforts won't make patch any holes, per se, as the spammers will just start hawking different products here. What it does is create 1 single array in the config file to read from for all 3 addcomment scripts. So, instead of adding the same word 3 times, I add it to 1 config file. It'll make it much easier to add words. In a few months, maybe I'll hit all of them and won't get any more spam. A man can dream.

Macintosh Mockery

2006-02-20T17:00:00-07:00

Apple, why do you do this to me? You tempt me with your products, and I succumb to your marketing tricks faster than a fat man who sat down too fast (to quote the great Eminem). First, the Intel MacBook Pro. God only knows how I managed to keep my credit card in my wallet when that was introduced. And now all the secrets behind this February 28th event. I'm almost certain it'll be an Intel Mini, and I'm almost certain I'll have no choice but to snap it right up, against my best judgement.

I resisted the MacBook Pro. I could resist a dedicated Video iPod since I already have the slightly different iPod (with Video). I could probably even resist a new Intel iBook. But I can't resist the Mini. Why, Apple, WHY?!

Not to jinx it, but its been nearly 24 hours of spam-free comments since my last round of changes. Have I beat them?

Finishing up the GBPVR

2006-02-25T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, okay, so it's been a few months of either not using my GBPVR system, or resorting to using it in an ugly old half-skeleton case. It was time to fancy it up a little bit.

I bought this box from Target to house the components. It was around $30, and should work well in my room.

Next, I carefully measured and cut the hole for the back panel. Unfortunately, I measured and cut it backwards. I had to hack off some extra material on the side to make the motherboard tray fit.

I decided to just cut off even more material and add a fan.

Next was hacking more holes and more holes. I had to cut an opening for the front LCD screen, as well as an opening in the back for the power supply. I dug out an old 1U PSU from one of my other projects that fit perfectly on the tray for the hard drives. I just needed to drill and tap some holes in it so I could screw it into the same tray. The pictures below are show the new holes I hacked in, as well as some fancy oak trim to go around the outside of the LCD screen.

It's all starting to come together now. Next I sanded the oak trim and carefully stained it a darker stain to provide some contrast in the box, as well as match my TV stand. Looks pretty nice, if I do say so myself. Now all that's left is to mount everything inside and turn it on!

Hey, looks pretty nice, huh? Let's turn her on and test it out!

Nothing.

I was smart enough to remove the covering on my PSU before drilling and tapping the holes in it. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to buy the tiniest screws in the world. I'd screwed the PSU in too hard, squishing some valuable components beyond repair. Crap. Buying another 1U PSU was out of the question, as I was trying to keep this project as cheap as I could. I dug out a standard PSU, and quickly mounted it in (quickly being the word I use for "not done very well", since at this point I had already cut out an unecessary hole where the 1U had stuck out of, as well as messed up the hole for the mobo tray. I just didn't care anymore about the back of the unit and cut as quickly as I could). Here's how the inside looks after mounting the new PSU.

And now, a couple of money shots:

The black button in this photo is the power switch, if you couldn't figure it out.

GBPVR Future Plans

2006-02-25T17:00:00-07:00

Ah, no project is ever truly complete, is it? In the future, I'd like to do the following to the GBPVR:

Upgrade to wireless G. It uses B right now, which is okay for most things, but streaming video over a network takes a lot out of it. G would give me enough extra speed to stream to a few TVs at once, which would be great.
Throw on a wireless keyboard/mouse for when I really need to use one. I shouldn't hardly ever see Windows if my plan comes together, but it would be nice to not have to dig out a USB mouse whenever I have some tweaking to do.
Bigger hard drives, of course. I did get a 250 gig for cheap that is just sitting here right now. I'll throw that in when I get a spare second or 2.
More customization of the LCD screen. I'd love for it to scroll the name of the show I'm watching.

Anyway, this is a great, fun project. The best part: DRMless content I record myself. That means I can record Lost and throw it on my iPod. I can watch it on any network-connected computer. This is the main benefit that only a homebrew solution can give you. It's no different than recording to a VHS tape or DVD, really (except the automatic commercial skip, but I won't tell if you don't). It gives you a truly portable format that you create yourself and do whatever you choose to with. While buying a Media Center from Dell will be cheaper than building from scratch, its not going to be as versatile or, yeah, I'll say it, fun. Plus, commercial skip! You'll never find that on anything other than a homebrew solution.

Mac Guy now.

2006-02-27T17:00:00-07:00

Since diving head-first into my G5 PowerMac at work nearly 2 years ago, I fell in love with OSX and the style of Macs. Unfortunately, they were too expensive to justify the cost. The other problem with Macs is that, once you're interested in them, you're always waiting for "the next big thing". I didn't want to drop a wad on a G4 PowerBook knowing a G5 was on the way. I didn't want a G4 Mini since it was already outdated the second it was ready for sale. I kept waiting and waiting, and every time a new product came out, I'd wait for the next one.

Well, today they announced the Intel Mac Mini. I figured I had waited long enough, and I made the jump into home-Mac experience. I went all out and bought the super-fast Core Duo version with DVD drive, hoping this will completely replace my PC. It'll get here within a day or 2, and I'm super-excited for it. I'll be sure to let you know all my thoughts on the matter when it arrives. I've never played with Front Row before, but I'm excited to try it, as well as dive into the whole iLife experience.

Mac mini mini review

2006-03-01T17:00:00-07:00

I'll preface my little mini-review with a bit of background on me and my intentions of my intel Mac mini. I'm a full-time web designer at an insurance company, and I do my work on a PowerMac G5 (dual 2 gHz processors with 1 gig of RAM). At home, however, my needs are a little different. I do web development in front of a computer 8 hours per day, so when I get home, sitting in front of another computer is one of the last things I want to do. I don't need a screaming fast computer at home. I'll be doing some web development on the side, and some Photoshop work. Mostly, however, I was interested in the mini because of the iLife suite. I'd had some experience with iPhoto and iTunes (I also own 2 iPods), but never had a chance to play with iMovie or iDVD or GarageBand on my computer at work. I knew they existed, and I knew what they did, but work always got in the way of me playing with the programs. However, I was fascinated. When I'd heard rumors about a Mac mini that was way faster than the previous generation, I was hooked. I knew it would be mine. This review won't be using actual benchmarks or stopwatches timing certain events, just my own thoughts and casual observations, as I think that's what most people will recognize if they choose to jump into a Mac mini.

When released, I got on the phone and ordered one right up immediately. Then a few hours later, while still beaming about my purchase, I starting reading all about the integrated graphics card and how that 1 minor change meant that my precious intel mini was as slow as a G4. I was heartbroken for about 15 seconds, until I remembered that my computers I had at home were both running off integrated graphics. 1 is an HP Celeron laptop with 256 megs of RAM that is mind-bloggling slow and annoying to use, if only because the hard drive is so cluttered. The other is a 2.something gHz Sempron with 512 megs of RAM. As you can see, I don't invest a ton of money into my home systems. As long as they get the job done, I'm not overly concerned with how fast they handle it. With my Sempron, I do web development, Photoshop work, and believe it or not, edit videos in Premiere. I manage to capture video, both analog and via FireWire, at DVD resolution without dropping frames or anything. I had a hard time believing my Duo Core mini would suck because of integrated graphics when my PC with integrated graphics does just fine.

So I got my mini, and I was pumped. The software licenses for my development apps extended to my home computer, so on my way out of work I picked up Adobe Creative Suites 1, Office for Mac, and Macromedia Studio MX to install on my new mini. I also had to pick up a USB keyboard and mouse, because I'm lame and only had PS/2 versions. The irony wasn't lost on me that I picked up a Microsoft keyboard. It was just the best deal I could find.

The setup process was so fast. I'd never set up a Mac before, as my OSX experience only started when I got my last job, and the G5 was all set up for me when I got there. It was so pretty, with the animations greeting me and flipping cubes as I typed in my information. The eye candy is one of the reasons I love OSX, so I was glad to see the eye candy started right from the get-go. The entire set up took all of about 5 minutes, which included immediate and automatic bonding to my wifi network and bluetooth phone. My G5 also lacks bluetooth, so I was surprised and impressed at the speed and accuracy of the contact transfers. iCal, however, didn't transfer information. I suspect this is because of my crippled Motorola 815 (which lacks OBEX and other bluetooth profiles) rather than a fault of OSX and iSync. I'd tried to synch on my PC before, but it was always a friggin' nightmare that required proprietary software and other nonsense. This was so easy.

My first impression was that it was... well... really fast. It certainly booted faster than my G5, although the G5 had a ton more files and programs, so maybe that wasn't a fair comparison. The preinstalled programs popped right up when I clicked them and responded very quickly. GarageBand was the odd man out here, taking quite a while to load. However, I was very impressed. If nothing else, this is a great tool for the loops and royalty free music for things like audio and video pod casts.

iTunes easily read my shared music from over my otherwise exclusively PC network. iPhoto easily imported my 1,200 or so photos from an attached network computer, although that took quite a while to do all in one chunk. And Front Row is just... wow... So awesome. That's the only way I can describe it. The pictures I'd seen online make it look neat and all, but don't do it justice one bit. When you see your desktop fade into the background and the large, beautiful icons take their place with some bizarre sound effect, it's just... wow. Awesome. Once I get my music and photos sorted out a little more, I'll certainly be using this feature. The remote is essential in Front Row. It's so easy and intuitive. It makes me wonder why my other remotes have so many damn buttons. This one can be used with one hand, without looking at the keys, completely intuitively. Apple knows what they're doing, for sure. Now on to the apps without the Universal Binary stuff.

Adobe Creative Suites installed with no problems or complications, although took considerably longer to install than on my G5, as was totally expected. It hung in some areas of installation, but always unfroze itself quickly and kept on the course to installing. There were no problems, other than trying my patience just a tad. Once installed, I started up Photoshop. It took quite a long time to get going. All in all, it probably took 2-3 times as long to get Photoshop running on my mini than it does on my PowerMac G5. However, once launched, I was surprised at how quickly Photoshop worked its magic on my images. For my little tests, I used a 3 megapixel camera image, which is probably about the largest sized images I'll ever work with on my mini, to be honest. Every tool I tried performed admirably, although it was noticeably slower than my PowerMac. Again, not a surprise in the least when comparing Apple's low end system with their high-end. But honestly, I was quite pleased with the performance. It did better than my Sempron and my Celeron machines do. I even did a batch convert to a folder of some images, which adjusted their levels, resized them, and saved them for web in another folder. It worked quickly and diligently.

I had nearly the same results with Illustrator, so no need to tread this ground again. To sum it up: The PowerPC versions of the Adobe products ran mostly okay on my mini. Certainly slower than my G5, but also faster than the mid-range PCs I use for the tasks at home. Launching the programs is what took the most time, and toggling between 2 non-Universal Binaries was sometimes an experience that tried my patience a little bit. Now on to Studio MX.

Again, installation was no problem. Again, launching the apps was a long and somewhat annoying process, although once launched, Flash performed great! I was a little worried about this one, as I know Flash has a whole lot going on and is processor intensive. Still, I created a few simple movies and Flash worked its magic with predictable results: slower than the PowerMac G5, but faster than my 2.something Sempron. Now, on to Dreamweaver.

This one is going to annoy the hell outta me. I wish I could say Dreamweaver performed as well as Flash, Photoshop, and Ilustrator. It doesn't. Not even close. Where Photoshop and Illustrator were slightly slow but still workable, Dreamweaver was a mess. A slow, frustrating mess that's almost a deal breaker for me and my mini, as much as I hate to say it. Like most web and PHP developers, I work on remote servers. Dreamweaver is great because it will upload my PHP documents to my server when I save, so I can go out to my website and make sure everything is working okay. This version of Dreamweaver on my Mac is frustrating slow to connect and to do... well... anything. Opening documents, closing documents, switching between viewing modes on the documents... it's all slow and virtually unworkable. I hate to say it, but because of this issue I'll probably end up doing my web development stuff on my old 2.whatever Sempron. It breaks my heart.

So, do I regret my purchase? Not one bit. I had fooled myself into thinking my mini would SERIOUSLY outperform my PCs, and for the iLife stuff, it does. It's incredibly responsive and quick and beautiful. However, on the PowerPC programs running through Rosetta, there's issues that may have me back on my PC for bigger tasks. The mini is an entry level, consumer machine. While fast enough for most of what I'll be doing, I don't think its up to every task on my plate every week.

What do I plan to do with it? iLife stuff, for the most part. It'll be a computer and an occasional media center, although it'll stay hooked up to my monitor rather than to a TV. I'll probably do basic Photoshop/Ilustrator designs with it, but will move them back to the PC if I need to do any web development. I haven't tried iWeb and don't intend to, although for simple stuff it may work okay for me. I'll use it to get the images off my digital camera and put music on my iPod. It performs admirably in most tasks, but the more "power-user" stuff, it looks like it may fall short. I do plan on using iMovie and iDVD in the near future. I have no projects or video right now that necessitate it, but I do believe those programs will run fine for me. They're already Universal Binary apps and, if the rest of the iLife suite is any indication, it'll run perfectly smooth with no problems. I'm even considering a video podcast, which could be put together in iMovie. I'm not sure my mini will be up to the task, but I have faith in it. I've captured and edited video way back on a Pentium 2 with 64 megs of RAM without dropping frames. I blame Dreamweaver's slowness on the PowerPC code rather than an underpowered mini. I don't regret my purchase, but if I had it to do again I probably would have bought the solo core version and not even tried my PowerPC programs, simply resorting to my PC to get my development work done.

Anyway, so back to the integrated graphics dilemma that have so many people pissed off. I don't believe any of the problems are related to the integrated graphics. I suppose its possible that the video card is taking away just enough RAM from my system to make Dreamweaver unbearable, but I have my doubts, as my PC with integrated graphics runs Dreamweaver just fine. In the near future, I will probably upgrade the RAM in this mini to see if that makes a difference. If Dreamweaver worked a little more smoothly, I suspect I'd be able to get rid of my Sempron machine.

I'm very much looking forward to getting a hold of Universal Binary versions of Photoshop and especially Dreamweaver to see if my mini can really outperform my PC and I'll be able to ditch it all together. For now, I'll have to get my hands on a KVM switch and be a "2 computers in the office" type of nerd. I can live with that.

Hope this little review has helped in some of your decision making process. If so, do me a favor and visit blazinraisin.com (nothing wrong with a little self-promotion, right?).

My Mini

2006-03-01T17:00:00-07:00

Well, I got it. I was one of the first to order it, nearly immediately after it was released. I got it in my grubbly little hands today. I'm still at work at the moment, but when I get home I'll plug this bad boy in and run it through its paces, including in Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Flash, and of course the iLife suites. For now, here's some pictures of the awesomest little computer ever.

more available here.

big thanks

2006-03-06T17:00:00-07:00

A big thank you and word up goes out to one of my favorite websites, The Unofficial Apple Weblog who posted a link to my review and unpacking photos, which really ramped up my traffic for the month to about 6 times the visitors this humble site is used to. It was much appreciated.

Ah, life barrels on. I've spent my time doing really fascinating stuff lately, including cleaning out my garage, my basement, posting stuff on eBay, working on websites, and playing with my new Mac mini. It's quite the life I lead. Mostly I'm just looking forward to St. Patrick's Day. What's everyone's plans for the big day (I ask like I'm expecting responses or something)?

another redesign

2006-03-15T17:00:00-07:00

Yeah, I changed designs. Again. I know there's bigger and better things I need to be working on, including 2 web-based business ideas and fixing up my house and spending time with the girlfriend and juggling in a little beer drinking and TV watching in there too. It was one of my resolutions to finish more projects that I start, and to be more productive during the day. I'm doing pretty good at both of those, but at the expense of some time with friends and some time watching movies. tim.cx has never had a "finished" design, and it's time I finish it up. I guess it was easier just starting from scratch rather than finishing up the "crumpled paper" theme I'd already gotten tired of.

But, the good news is that this redesign was handled with 1 simple style sheet and a handful of images. That means I did a pretty darn good job of making the site relatively easy to skin and change. All it took was 1 file to completely change the look of all of tim.cx. Not too shabby.

Okay yeah it's

2006-03-28T17:00:00-07:00

Okay, yeah, it's been a while since my last update. Since then, I've ripped out a garage door, tore up some concrete, poured some more concrete, built a wall, and installed a window. All for my newly renovated garage, which I'll hopefully complete this weekend. Not the nerd-type behavior this blog is used to, but rest assured I also did some PHP programming, and worked quite a bit on my PVR computer. So it wasn't a nerd-free week or anything. Not by a long shot.

I do have a lot on my mind recently, so I apologize to all my real-life friends who may be reading this if it seems like I've been ignoring, avoiding, and not returning phone calls. I guess I'm in sort of a funk, but trying my best to get out of it.

Oh, more nerd stuff... I cancelled my Dish Network, which is what I always used to watch when I work out in my basement. Well, in the absense of Dish, I bought an iPod dock so I can watch videos from my iPod on my TV while working out. I'm now completely fascinated by video Podcasts and 100% convinced that they are the wave of the future. I have an idea for my own, but it's just a matter of making time to make one. Anyone with any interest in video Podcasts needs to at least check out Tiki Bar and Channel Frederator. They rule.

recent events. crap. stuff and whatnot.

2006-04-09T17:00:00-07:00

Well, recent events in my life have really forced me to examine my priorities in life and decide what the hell it is I'm doing with myself. For the most part, I'm a pretty content guy, but to be 100% honest my life isn't quite working out the way I thought it would when I was growing up and setting goals and deadlines for myself.

Brace yourselves here, kids. This is gonna be a ridiculous post.

The thing is, I set lofty goals for myself. Always have. For the most part, I also achieve them. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a comic book artist. As I've gotten older, I've realized a career isn't so important as personal life and family and friends. So at the end of high school, I set my sights on finishing school quickly, moving back home, and getting some sort of career I could be proud of, but focusing most of my life on my family and friends. I've gone through stages where I was more or less happy with the decisions I'd made, and stages where I was extremely happy with my career and friends and family, followed immediately by being hugely disatisfied with both areas of my life and exploring things that may get me closer to the dude I'm wanting to be.

I'm creative. I'm artistic. I'm funny. I'm a problem solver. I feel like I'm using none of those abilities at the moment, spending my weekends on home improvement projects or PHP coding a couple different websites I'm working on. Right now, it's not very fulfilling, although I'm hoping that changes soon.

I can't imagine having a boss for the rest of my life. A dress code. Someone telling me when I need to shave my face, or how to design a project, or when to show up to work. That's not me. Never has been. Hopefully never will be. But I've lived the past 2 years in my current position as a pseudo-creative type doing design work, but in such a controlled environment with such strict standards I have a hard time feeling at all accomplished, even when my projects get me lots of compliments from the guys upstairs.

But, my job has very little effect on who I am when I'm not at work. I'm here 37.5 hours per week. That's it. Then I'm rarely thinking about work and my job and what I do to pay the bills. I focus on my awesome group of friends, my awesome, adoring girlfriend. My dog. My house. My life. But when some of those "happy" things are taken out of the equation, it all comes crashing down around me. I start questioning myself. The town I'm living in. Am I really as creative and artistic as I credit myself as being? I mean, if I'm so 100% wrong and ass-backwards in one area of my life, then how can I assume I'm right about anything? I guess these are questions I need to answer.

I think my answer right now is to spend as much time as possible on creative side projects in an attempt to get rid of having a boss, in whatever way that pans out to be. The only way to not have a boss is to 1. do my own thing (which I tried before and it didn't work), or 2. become a boss at a company. I'm sure which one would be more fulfilling, but I've also tried that route and failed miserably. I need to try again, try harder, and be less afraid to sink money into projects that may or may not take off. I want to do a video podcast so bad I can taste it. But I have other projects to finish first.

Anyway, that's my rambling post for the day. In high school, I never thought my evenings would be consumed with trying to find a way to keep spammers away from my blog. I'm sad my life has come to this. But even worse is that I never thought my personal life would be consumed by the drama that I'm currently involved in. Aren't I better than this? Shouldn't I have picked better people to surround myself with? I guess I'll just have to keep trying. I can't just give up on myself and a better life, despite the sort of shit people insist on putting me through. Anyway, fingers are crossed that, if nothing else, I can be content with my life again. I thought I had that under control for a while, but I was wrong.

timwasson.com

Because I don't have anything better to do.

It sounds cool in theory....

Guess what I did today....

The weekend

a little later. a little more tired.

Schutpid schtuph

tired. so tired.

Ya ever get that feeling...

Being a bitch really gets you places in life.

Hm.

my exciting night.

Look at my shield.

Brace yourselves. This will be quite a post.

Guess what....

Horoscope

old, new, good, bad, right, wrong?

88 lines about 44 women

You know the

8:11. already bored.

Survey.

I'm typing this to waste time.

work work work

busy busy busy.

This weekend was

it has come

As promised....

updates and more updates.

Last night I

Work has actually

busy at work.

important events I forgot to include....

Tuesday is the

uh oh.

this entry will be a short one....

I'm skipping work

moving. still.

last night's events

One of these

Finally the end

I have so little self control.

Okay the events

various ramblings.

Bloody savages.

Tradition makes this

Holiday weekend, from the top....

I forgot to type an entry.

Why does this

Alrighty then.

Last night marked

pathetic

I'm leaving for

last night

Why Tim isn't a Loser, part 3.

Freaky color quiz

Oh man I

The accuracy of

I woke up

Napster

I'm such an idiot.

My network has

Last night I

As uneventful as

In short last

sweet jesus

You know I

Well work has

Last night was NOT buffalo wing night.

So last night

Well I'm about

Monday morning. Tired

the 2 girls that killed my ambition.

Breaking tradition

I just got a raise.

I just posted

As promised...

more stories

My stupid friends.

what did i do last night?

Last night I